00:00It's National Spoil Your Dog Day.
00:03My dog is single.
00:05Is your dog single?
00:06Is your dog single?
00:08He's got two cats, so I don't know if that
00:10interspecies thing is allowed, but
00:11if so, then yes.
00:14Oh, yeah, right, right.
00:15Because what he'll do is he'll bow his head next to the cats
00:17and just get licked all day.
00:20Oh, he's living the life.
00:22He is. Wow, what a pimp.
00:24A little bit.
00:27I've always wanted
00:28to start a dating
00:30profile for my dog.
00:32She's
00:32four years old, and
00:35her name is Mack. Now, she has a
00:38boy name because we thought we were
00:40going to adopt a boy dog, and
00:42then the name stuck, and then we got a girl
00:44dog, and we're like, eh, Mack works.
00:45Sure, yeah, there we go. So everybody thinks
00:47she's a boy. Like Mackenzie.
00:49That's what we say, yeah.
00:51I mean, but we all know, like, when you have a dog,
00:54they don't go by their name.
00:55Nobody calls her Mack unless she's in trouble.
00:57It's always, like, way out there.
00:59Yeah.
01:00So if I were to
01:03start a dating profile,
01:05there's some things I would put on it.
01:07I would love to know what everybody else would put on
01:09their dog's dating profile.
01:11702-597-1027.
01:13You can call
01:13and or text us.
01:16What would I put on mine?
01:18My name is Mack.
01:19I'm three years old.
01:21I'm mixed.
01:22I was adopted.
01:23I love sleeping in.
01:26I love eating everything that anybody will share with me.
01:30Okay.
01:31I have one red flag.
01:32Oh, what's the red flag?
01:34I eat my own poop.
01:35Eat your own poop?
01:36She does.
01:37Now, that's an interesting move.
01:38It's tough.
01:39But I think that some dogs would look past it because the beauty in her soul.
01:43And not the crap in her teeth.
01:49Brutal.
01:50Okay.
01:50Yeah.
01:50What are some things that you'd put on your dog's dating profile?
01:53Pesky.
01:56Hi.
01:56My name is Pesky.
01:57I am a rat terrier chihuahua mix.
02:00I was founded at Texaco Station.
02:02Mack is on a 7-Eleven.
02:03Oh, my goodness.
02:04Maybe they can date.
02:06That would really complicate our friendship, though.
02:09Yes.
02:09Because if it doesn't work out, then we're just, you know.
02:10I know.
02:11I was named after Johnny Pesky of the Boston Red Sox.
02:16Okay.
02:17And I eat my sister cat's poop.
02:20Oh.
02:23So, they have this in common.
02:25Wow.
02:26They can, like, have a lady in the tramp moment over poop.
02:29See, Mack was also named after Khalil Mack.
02:32And after we got her, he was traded.
02:34So, the poor thing.
02:36Yeah.
02:37She's, wow.
02:38So, maybe our dogs should date.
02:41What kind of dog again?
02:43She's a lab Rottweiler mix.
02:44So, she's pretty big.
02:45She's a big girl.
02:46She's a big girl.
02:47Yeah, yeah.
02:47I mean, Pesky's a little kickable.
02:49Not fully kickable.
02:51Okay.
02:52But within the kicking spectrum of our dogs.
02:54Oh, got you.
02:54He's that relatively small.
02:55Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:56Also, I have lost, like, 12 teeth.
02:59And every time I go to the dentist, or go to the vet, it cost my parents $200.
03:06It's like, oh, yeah, his teeth are still falling out.
03:08How?
03:08We get dentists, like, every six months.
03:11You're not cleaning.
03:12Listen, if our dogs date, we're going to keep finances separate then.
03:16Okay.
03:17Yes.
03:18Yes, 100%.
03:20We're down.
03:21We're down, for sure.
03:22Oh, my gosh.
03:22Okay, hold on.
03:23Here we go.
03:23This is Moe Steelers 43.
03:25Uh-huh.
03:26Benji, blonde, likes to sleep a lot and bark at the doorbell.
03:30Not big on running, but hey, that's overrated.
03:33Now, that dog's for me.
03:34Oh, yeah.
03:35Mac, you know, the thing is she doesn't care to do much, which is really great.
03:40Also, on Mac's dating profile, I'm scared of everything.
03:44Everything.
03:45Everything.
03:46Yes.
03:47Everything.
03:47Everything.
03:47Every July 4th, every time there's fireworks.
03:49Except fireworks.
03:50She loves fireworks.
03:51She loves fireworks.
03:51She loves fireworks, hates the doorbell.
03:54Like, oh, God, somebody's here.
03:55Oh, my God.
03:56You know, I'm kind of like that, too.
03:57When the doorbell rings, we have the video doorbell.
03:59Rather than get up and say, who's that?
04:01I'll just check the app first.
04:02Absolutely.
04:03I'm not getting up from this couch until I know that this is worth my time.
04:07Uh-huh.
04:07Yes.
04:08Joe Quills, can I even say this?
04:13No, I don't think so.
04:14I don't think we can say that, no.
04:15No.
04:15I don't think that's a laugh.
04:19All right.
04:20What do we got here?
04:22This is from Jessica.
04:24Jessica.
04:24My name is Bear.
04:26Don't let the old man furs fool you.
04:28I'm a young pup with a healthy fear of water bottles.
04:32I love scratches around the ears, carrots, and barking at knocks at the door until I pee myself.
04:40Call me, but don't.
04:43I don't like the phone ringing either.
04:46That's pretty good, Bear.
04:48I like-
04:48What is Bear?
04:49I need to know, Jessica.
04:50I like long walks down the street.
04:53Only with mom, though, not with dad.
04:55That's my dog.
04:56I'll be like, hey, you want to go outside?
04:58Just stares at me like, not with you.
05:00And then as soon as Marsha comes down, it's like, I feel like I adopted you.
05:07Right.
05:07You would still be at the shelter.
05:08I got you in Texaco.
05:09That wasn't for me.
05:10You'd be pumping gas right now, boy.
05:14Dating profiles for dogs.
05:16You'll love it.
05:17Where were they going?
05:19Tinder?
05:20Pupder?
05:21Check out my bone.
05:22Ha ha ha ha.
05:23Pupder?
05:24Pupder?
05:24Pupder?
05:25Pupder?
05:25Pupder?
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05:45Pupder?
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05:48Pupder?
05:49Pupder?
05:50Pupder?
05:51Pupder?
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