00:00Roxanne, I got an email anonymously, and it said that they spotted you over the weekend with your kids, and your kids were absolute monsters in a sushi restaurant.
00:18Well, I just want to know who these snakey snake, conniving little tattletale friends of yours that are emailing you.
00:23Did you say snakey snake or snakey snake?
00:25Conniving sneaky snake.
00:26Who's the cheese eater?
00:28Who's the rat?
00:29All right, so, Roxanne, obviously, there's some issue here.
00:32Did your kids put on a monster show at a sushi restaurant over the weekend?
00:37Yes, it happened.
00:38What happened?
00:38I lived through it.
00:40We went to sushi.
00:41We're getting ready to take a family trip in a week or so, and I'm going to have to be in charge of my kids, taking them to breakfast and lunch while Doug's on the golf course.
00:49So I need to be able to do it by myself.
00:50Tell me about your kids' meltdown.
00:52So this is a trial run?
00:53This is a rehearsal dinner.
00:55You can't take care of your kids by yourself yet?
00:57Hey, it's been a pandemic.
00:58I haven't taken two out by myself very often, barely ever.
01:03You've got a kid that's, what, four?
01:04Me either, really.
01:05Yes, she just turned four.
01:06Four and then one and change, right?
01:08And one and change, yeah.
01:09So you're out at a sushi bar.
01:11What happened?
01:11Why are your kids being called monsters of meltdown?
01:14Monsters of meltdown.
01:15Okay, Davianna doesn't last.
01:18When Davianna goes in public, it's overstimulating.
01:21She doesn't see a lot of people.
01:23That's just new for her.
01:24Tell me what happened.
01:25She acts like a Tasmanian devil.
01:27She only sits in her chair for X amount of time, and then she's going to cry and throw food and throw noodles.
01:32So then I have to remove her from the chair and hold her the rest of the meal.
01:35All right, the email says that your daughter threw soy sauce all over the restaurant.
01:40Noodles.
01:41Noodles, not soy sauce.
01:43Get in there, soy sauce.
01:44Soy sauce with noodles.
01:45Okay, so soy sauce was on the noodles.
01:47Of course.
01:48Okay, the email says that your daughter threw soy sauce all over the restaurant, and they were on the...
01:52I'm going to throw soy sauce at whoever sent you that email.
01:55Ooh, I like it.
01:56I'm going to teach your kid how to toss a California roll.
01:59No, you don't want to toss the sushi.
01:59No, Davianna, this is what happened.
02:01Can you control your kids?
02:02MJ, she doesn't go out in public.
02:04It's a big deal for her.
02:06So she's sitting on my lap, and then she reaches across the table, and she tries to...
02:11Well, okay, I was on the phone with my mom.
02:13So my mom and I were talking, like, Mom, I got to go.
02:14The kids are acting like animals.
02:15I got to go.
02:16Well, before I could hang up with her, Davianna's in my lap, and as I said, it's like wrestling a baby alligator.
02:21She leaps across the table, grabs the wasabi, shoves it in her mouth, and starts screaming hysterically.
02:28That attractive little green ball?
02:30Yes.
02:31Oh, isn't that great?
02:32Yes.
02:32Fousie ball.
02:33So I'm digging that out of her mouth.
02:35I'm digging it out of her mouth.
02:37And then my other daughter, Evelyn Jade, got very upset.
02:40She was pretty good, but she got upset because then I'm just trying to cool down Davianna's
02:44mouth with the mochi, and she didn't swallow any of it because, you know, I got it out in
02:48time.
02:49But I was trying to cool her mouth down, and then that daughter had a meltdown because
02:53I took the mochi off her plate.
02:55And she's very protective of her food.
02:56She shoved seaweed salad in her face.
02:59Yes.
02:59Do you have any idea who ratted you out here?
03:01It's an anonymous email.
03:03Well, I did know a lot of people in the restaurant.
03:05Oh, so there were people there that you knew.
03:09Well, clearly, they're the ones that ratted you out.
03:11Yeah.
03:11My neighbors were there, and they were ... First, I was talking to them.
03:14My kids were putting edamame in my wine glass.
03:16I'm like, don't judge.
03:17It's like sangria, but with edamame.
03:19Mike, you've got no control of your ... They're putting edamame, which is soybeans, in the
03:24pods.
03:25They're dropping it.
03:26So you got chunky wine with edamame?
03:28You know what?
03:29It's a new Japanese delicacy.
03:30If you want your kids to behave, how don't you pay for those nice chicken nuggets and
03:33like quesadillas and stuff?
03:35You need to take a switch around.
03:36The soy sauce and edamame, kids.
03:38They enjoy the food.
03:39They just like to toss it around.
03:40But anyways, I ... You know, I was covered in soy sauce.
03:44They were covered in soy sauce.
03:45They're both screaming hysterically.
03:46What is the restaurant saying to you?
03:48Are they saying ...
03:48Well, we were outside.
03:49We were sitting outside, so it was a little bit less disruptive, but at the table next
03:53to me, all of a sudden, I hear someone go, is that Evelyn?
03:57And I just am sitting there.
03:58I'm just like, I'm not even going to look.
03:59Who was it?
03:59Who was it?
04:00It was one of her friends at school, their mom.
04:02Well, that's who ratted you out.
04:04They were drinking margaritas and drinking ... You know, having a nice adult night while I was
04:08and they're laughing at you.
04:09You know, this is the thing.
04:10Motherhood ...
04:11She can't control her kids.
04:12Yeah.
04:12Okay.
04:13Well, I want everybody who has kids to think about when their kids were little, and it's
04:17a very lonely time, because at that moment, I'm sitting there at a restaurant saying,
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