Angie"s Starrlight
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00:00Hey Detroit, it's Angie Starr. It's the starlight. You guys know I always like to spotlight on
00:06superstars in the city, whether they're recording artists, actual painting artists, or I'm going to
00:13call this lady right here a book artist because she has written a really interesting book that
00:19caught my, the title caught my attention. Go ahead and introduce yourself. Hello everybody and thank
00:24you, Angie, for having me. My name is Michelle Parazon and I am the author of Loving Me, Blocking
00:30Him, A Young Woman's Guide to Texting, Dating, and Breaking Up. I'm going to let her repeat that title
00:38because it is so good, but I got to tell you something. When somebody else brings me something
00:44and says, Angie, you need to check this out because it is so good. I'm putting my reputation on the
00:49line for it. I'm talking about Kim from Kim One Insurance. She told me about you and I said,
00:54okay, let me see. And she was correct. This book is excellent. Tell them the title one more time.
01:01The name of the book is Loving Me, Blocking Him, A Young Woman's Guide to Texting, Dating,
01:08and Breaking Up. And I want to add really quickly that it does not bash guys in any way. It is not
01:13a man bashing book. I saw that, but let's explain. What was the motivation? Because this is so
01:19for today's times and what we're dealing with. Talk about it.
01:23So over the years, I've had the pleasure of working with a number of wonderful young women.
01:28We have so many young people in the city of Detroit who deserve accolades because they are
01:34outstanding human beings. But having said that, over the years, I have talked to a lot of young
01:40women who have been challenged in the area of dating. And for whatever reason, they've sought me
01:45out to ask me questions about what they should do, how they should do it. They've come to me in tears.
01:50There have been times when I've been teaching classes and they've come to me when they should
01:54have been somewhere else. They came to me to ask me questions. And so after repeating myself to them
02:00over and over again, because we could talk about a situation on Monday and I thought we were all on
02:05the same page. And by Tuesday or Wednesday, we were back to square one. So in an effort to provide a tool
02:12that would help them on those occasions when they couldn't get to someone else who could give them
02:16solid advice or they couldn't find their way to me, I wanted to write the book to give them a
02:21guideline, to give them a tool to use. So when they're having a meltdown moment or they weren't
02:25sure what to do, they could just turn to less than seven page, whatever, and try to get some guidance.
02:30Okay. Now, a little background on you. What do you do? What is your profession?
02:35So I've been in education for the past 20 plus years. My early beginnings actually were here
02:42in Detroit at WDIV. I started off as a production assistant. I worked as an account executive. I
02:47worked at a media buying service and my mother was a master teacher and encouraged me to pursue
02:53education for a variety of reasons. So I took her advice, wound up in education and have been in that
02:59world for the most part ever since. Now I have to ask, why you? Why do the girls feel comfortable
03:05coming to you asking questions? I don't know. I guess the perception is that I have something of
03:12value to say. I'd like to think of myself as being level-headed. Of course, there are a number of
03:18wonderful women in our community who give sound, solid advice, but for whatever reason, I'm the magnet
03:26for that a lot of times. So I have an open door policy. If they have a question, they can text me,
03:32they can, you know, come to the room to talk to me or whatever. And I try to give them the best
03:37advice I can in that moment. Well, to me, based on what I read, it seems like you're down to earth
03:42and real. And it seems like people feel like you're going to give them a real answer, not anything
03:48candy-coated. They might not like the answer, but it's going to be something that will help them,
03:54but it's not going to be candy-coated, but you're going to give it to them with love.
03:58Absolutely. I'm the person that you ask a question of if you want to hear the truth.
04:03If you don't want to hear the truth, I'm not the person for you to come to. And that's because so
04:09many times, especially when it comes to a lot of our young ladies and young men too, they're not
04:14necessarily reality-based. So I have to kind of check them at the beginning so we can have a really
04:20honest conversation to help them think and reflect and not give them what they want to hear in that
04:25moment or what they need to hear that's going to help them long-term. Okay. We can't give the book
04:29away. All right. But just, just give a summation in your words of what this whole book is about.
04:39So the whole purpose of the book ultimately is to encourage young women to understand that
04:45at the end of the day, it's really all about them. It's about you. And I oftentimes will say,
04:51it's about you, boo. Do not allow the exterior forces that come into play in your life to distract
04:59you from who you are, what your purpose is, and why you're on this planet. Because a lot of times
05:05folks get caught up trying to find love outside of themselves. They get caught up trying to find
05:12the happiness that we can always find within if we cultivate it outside of themselves. So I just
05:19wanted to give them some basics, you know, some, some guidance against some tools so that you can
05:24focus more on yourself, love you. It's about you. And I'm not saying to not be concerned about other
05:29people because of course we're all here to help lift each other up. However, a lot of times it is
05:38at our own expense when we do that. And so I'm trying to help young women to start off with a
05:44really fresh start in life early on, focusing on themselves and launching their lives so that they
05:50can bring their dreams to fruition. Because if they don't learn early, a lot of times they'll pick up
05:55habits. And the next thing they know, they go from being 17 to 27 to 37 to 47. And it's like, oh my God,
06:02where did the time go? I still haven't discovered who I am yet. So we can help them to learn who they are
06:08early on and understand that they matter, that they are significant, that they are important.
06:13Then hopefully, you know, it's not a panacea. It's not going to, you know, prevent them from having
06:18challenges or obstacles in life, but it should help to give them some guidance so that at the end of
06:23the day, it comes back to who am I, what makes me happy? What is my purpose? And I'm not going to
06:29allow things outside of me to distract me from who I am. So that's pretty much it.
06:34So look, okay. I enjoyed it and I'm not a young girl, grown woman, but let me hear just real quick,
06:44some feedback from younger girls or teens that have read the book. What did they say to you about
06:50the book? Well, most recently I was called a goat. Fortunately, I didn't know what that means.
06:55And so of course, I really, I really appreciate the feedback because nothing in this book is about
07:04me. It really is about them. I really want them to know who they are. And a lot of times,
07:11many people, even into adulthood, we spend so much of our lives doing everything else. We're busy,
07:16we're caught up, we're distracted. We don't even know who we are. So to answer your question,
07:21the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive. I continue to have focus group discussions with
07:27a lot of young women. Sometimes they'll email me, you know, they'll, they'll send me a text message
07:32periodically. Young women who've graduated years gone by, you know, will still reach out to me.
07:39And some of the guys do too. You'd be surprised. I'm always surprised at the number of young men
07:44who contact me to say, okay, Ms. P, this is the situation. What do I do? And I walk them through
07:51the exact same process that I do the young women. You know, let's stop and think about it. You know,
07:56what's working, what's not working, what, where's your head? Why is your head there? It's, it's a
08:00methodical process of thinking that I try to instill in all the young people. And sometimes not so young,
08:06sometimes the more advanced who just want to engage in meaningful discussion about, you know,
08:11what can I do to kind of try to find my center and get it right. So the feedback has been
08:16extremely positive. I love it. I see a seminar with you virtually. Let's do it, Angie.
08:24Okay. I see that. I see it. I see it. My audience is, we're older women, 25 plus. Okay. So speaking to
08:34them, would you recommend them use this as a gift for a younger person in their lives or take it for
08:41themselves? What do you recommend? Actually, the feedback I've received helps me to know that it
08:48can be, it can go either way. I've had a number of more mature young women say, I wish I'd had this
08:57book when I was younger. I have had a number of women say, I have a friend who needs this book.
09:04They've told me that they have nieces or granddaughters who could benefit from this book.
09:10I've had young women refer the book to their friends. I've had some gentlemen to say, my
09:14daughter needs this book. That's right. So hopefully it's just the kind of information
09:19that is universally applicable. And it doesn't matter how you identify. I know the title says
09:24loving me, blocking him, but I'm hoping that it's just good common sense so that no matter who you
09:29are, you can find wisdom and guidance to help you in your life. Oh, I love you. I know Kim knows
09:37what she's doing. I love it. Shout out to Kim Kim. Thank you so much. Yeah, definitely. And Detroit,
09:43we're going to work with her because I don't know the key to life, I believe is learning to love
09:50yourself. And once you master that, everything else kind of falls in place because you kind of
09:56understand it and you can get lost. It's not easy. I'm still learning and I still want to learn more.
10:02And don't think that because, you know, you haven't mastered that something's wrong. No,
10:06that's why you're watching this right now. And we're going to help you, right? So how can they get
10:12the book? Well, you can go to my website, which is www.lovingmeblockinghim.com. If you order the
10:23book through my website, I can actually provide an autographed copy for you or someone you care
10:27about whom you want to receive the book. It's also available at a variety of other, you know,
10:33quality book selling outlets, Barnes and Nobles and Amazon and the like. So yes, if you're interested
10:41and if you want me to talk to a group of young women, I'm always excited to engage in dialogue
10:46with young women to just help them clarify their thinking. And guys too, you know, again, I've had so
10:53many, I had a couple come to me one time, a young man and a young woman, they made an appointment.
10:57I said, you know, I'm not a clinician. I have to say this. I'm not a clinician. I really am not.
11:04But they scheduled an appointment to come and talk to me about their relationship. And it was
11:08fascinating for me because I'd never had that experience with a couple before. I've had a lot
11:13of young men talk to me about their relationship woes and why don't, you know, she doesn't understand
11:20me. What, what am I doing wrong? There are a lot of really good guys out here who just,
11:25they are many times as unsure of themselves as we. So I'm available and, you know, just let's make it
11:36happen. There can't be one of us doing this work. You know, when you were talking, what came to my mind
11:43was this generation, the younger people, you know, we used to learn about love a lot with music.
11:51You know, we could learn how, yeah, you might've got caught and you're messed up, but there's some
11:57things that you could say to get, you know what I mean? We were kind of, we learned. Now this is to
12:03me, the generation instant. You know, I, when I'm hosting clubs and things like that, where the younger
12:08people come 21 plus it's instant, they don't even slow dance anymore. You know, it's all about here
12:15it is, here it is, you know, and it just bothered me watching it. Cause I'm like, you're not, you're
12:21missing so much of the, the romance and the, the getting to know and who you are. It's just straight
12:27to the physical, physical, physical, what, how I look. And it's so much more how you look. That's
12:32just, that's nothing. It's, it's what's inside of you. So we are going to do a seminar. I'm going to do
12:37some young girls, I'm going to do some with older women, you know, like men who want to
12:42learn. This is such great knowledge. I thank you for working excellence for it and doing
12:50it. I mean, it's excellent. I can support it. Detroit, I want you guys to support it. Give
12:55them your website one more time. The website is www.lovingmeblockinghim, just like the title
13:03of the book.com. Thank you so much. I have to say this really quickly because you just made a
13:11really important point about the, uh, the sense of urgency that a lot of people have to have
13:15everything right now. And that's one of the, one of the missteps they make, because when you
13:20are spending so much time focusing on getting it now, and it's over here and it's over there and
13:26it's up there, you're not focusing on you. So one thing I always tell young people and whoever I'm
13:31talking to is no matter where you go, you are going to be there. You're not going to go anywhere
13:37and not be there. So you really need to invest time in getting to know who you are. So that wherever
13:42you go, you'll show up and you'll show up the right way. Love it. Closing thoughts. Closing thoughts
13:52is our closing thoughts are that was a grammatical, um, you know, just, you know, we've been in the
14:02stillness of this pandemic for it's hard to believe about a year now. And this has been a time of loss,
14:12a time of, uh, struggle and a time of challenge for so many people. And my hearts go out to anyone
14:20who was having a difficult time during this time, because many of us are having our respective
14:24challenges. However, it's also been a good time to look within. It's also been a good time to get
14:30to know who we are. And a lot of us may not like who we are, but it's also a time to realize what we
14:36can do to be who we want to be. That's right. So even though we're, you know, moving forward, but
14:43things are kind of still slow. Let's look within to say, who do I want to be when the world opens up?
14:49That's right. How do I want to show up in this new world? That's right. This is a time for me to
14:53really retool my thinking. How do I want to define myself for myself, not have a definition come from
14:59somebody else about what beauty is and what hair should look like. And how do I want to show up for
15:06me? Come on. Let's take this time and retool our thinking, go within, talk to ourselves, get to know
15:14who we really are. So when we emerge, we'll emerge a lot better off than we were before
15:19the pandemic hit. All right. Loving me, blocking him. I love it. Michelle, thank you so much. We will
15:28be working together in the near future. I'm telling you, we're going to do seminars, you know, because
15:34I'm going to say this before we get out of here. I lost so many of you, my best friend, this, this,
15:40like you say, we're about a year in and this was been the hardest for me, but for some reason,
15:46God kept me here. Cause just like I lost my best friend, we're the same, Hey, you know,
15:50and Hey, you know, she could go, I can go. So my point is if we're still here, it's a reason,
15:57a purpose. Yes. And it's in you. It's not in nobody else. And the way you find it is to love
16:04yourself. Like love me, blocking him. I love you. Thank you. That's from my heart, girl. Okay.
16:10Thank you. We will be working with you in the near future. Thank you so much.
16:15Thank you. Take care and God bless and everybody be well and stay safe.
16:19All right. Thank you.