00:00 This is Alyssa.
00:01 She fell in love with Tom.
00:04 - My husband employs me to take care of the home
00:06 and I encourage other women to pursue the same dynamic
00:09 for their future financial success.
00:11 If you're a feminist at this point in time,
00:13 you're a clown, right?
00:15 There are feminists on Reddit who hate me,
00:18 most of which are single over the age of 30.
00:20 - They called me a white supremacist.
00:23 - Our friend is coming over to get to the bottom
00:26 of what his opinion of our relationship is.
00:28 - I don't view marriage as an economic relationship.
00:31 That's just not how I would ever choose to describe it.
00:33 It's a spiritual relationship.
00:35 - Okay, so spiritual. - It's a spiritual relationship.
00:37 (upbeat music)
00:38 - We were at the same work for a while
00:41 and I ended up becoming single
00:43 and I thought he was very attractive.
00:46 So I shot my shot and apparently it landed
00:49 'cause now I'm married and I have a baby on the way.
00:52 - We've been together, what, two and a half years?
00:54 - So we were engaged and I was going to school
00:58 and I was also working,
00:59 but I thought that he was wanting
01:02 a little bit more attention to the house,
01:04 to the home and also to himself.
01:06 So I had a sneaking suspicion
01:08 that it might benefit our relationship if I stayed home.
01:12 - I didn't even know I wanted a traditional relationship.
01:15 I, honest to God,
01:16 thought that I wanted a physicist triathlete.
01:19 So until I got into a relationship with Allie,
01:21 I didn't even know how wonderful
01:24 having a traditional relationship
01:26 where there were gender separations.
01:28 - The agreement was, was that if I sucked
01:30 at being a homemaker, that I would go back to work,
01:32 but I did not suck.
01:34 I wouldn't say I'm a feminist at all.
01:35 I think that feminism was all bad.
01:37 Men love women so much that they would have liberated us
01:41 after they were fully liberated anyway.
01:43 I am just of the opinion
01:45 that feminism was completely unnecessary
01:47 and that it's a female supremacy movement.
01:49 You're just in it for the steak and eggs.
01:50 (laughing)
01:52 So I do most of the cooking and cleaning.
01:54 I do most of the laundry as well.
01:56 He works for a long time.
01:57 Sometimes it's 10 hours a day.
02:00 So I just take care of the house while he's gone.
02:02 I earn more now married than I did
02:06 when I was in the military.
02:07 And it's the best job I've ever had.
02:09 I would probably be considered on his bankroll.
02:11 He pays for my living.
02:14 There's a health insurance plan.
02:16 - I basically said, "Hey, look,
02:17 "how much money do you need per week to do fun things?"
02:21 She said, "I need $100 for my snacks and my coffee."
02:25 And I'm like, "Okay."
02:27 We got rid of all her credit cards.
02:28 We opened up new credit cards under my account.
02:31 And so now I can see all of her purchases.
02:33 And she's very disciplined.
02:35 - I don't wanna drain my husband.
02:37 I know some wives, they don't have a conscience with that,
02:41 but I would prefer if I never had to look at a screen
02:45 about dollars ever.
02:47 Today I'm going shopping, obviously on Tom's Dine.
02:51 - She really doesn't ask for a whole lot of stuff
02:55 that she doesn't need.
02:56 She's pretty financially disciplined.
02:58 - The alternative is going to an actual job
03:01 with an actual boss.
03:03 Keep in mind that's a man that doesn't care about you.
03:05 You clock in, you clock out, you're not on his mind,
03:08 he would fire you tomorrow.
03:09 My husband is not going to fire me tomorrow.
03:12 I think that it's much more romantic than that,
03:14 but if we have to call it labor,
03:16 it's not the worst job out there.
03:18 - I haven't received anything
03:20 but positive feedback from my friends.
03:22 - They're probably high-fiving you, you know?
03:25 - Okay, I wasn't going to say that,
03:26 but yeah, there is a lot of that, right?
03:28 Because all my buddies are in their late 40s,
03:31 early 50s, like myself, and they're like,
03:32 "Damn, dude, you got a 27-year-old."
03:35 I'm like, "Mm-hmm."
03:36 - There's been controversy surrounding the age gap.
03:40 I am 28 years old.
03:42 - I'm 51.
03:42 - I think my mom was really worried.
03:44 I was wondering, how did you really feel
03:47 when I started dating Tom?
03:49 - Just a little skeptical 'cause of the age difference, but-
03:52 - You can tell us what you really thought.
03:54 - I didn't think it was gonna go.
03:55 I thought it was just, you know.
03:57 - So you thought we were gonna break up or something?
04:00 - Maybe, I don't, like, yeah, I guess. (laughs)
04:04 - Did you not want it to last?
04:05 It's okay if you didn't.
04:07 - Oh, it's either way.
04:09 I couldn't predict.
04:13 - How do you feel about me spreading my messages online?
04:17 - They're a little controversial,
04:19 but I don't like the comments that some people make.
04:24 I would just wanna go in there and go, "Ugh!"
04:26 (laughs)
04:28 - Online, I would say that I get the most judgment
04:31 because I'm a content creator.
04:33 - A woman wanting to work is very different-
04:35 - Why are male sexual appetites suppressed?
04:38 - If you're a feminist at this point in time,
04:39 you're a clown, right?
04:41 - There's a lot of assumptions, right?
04:43 I do this for a brand.
04:45 I do this because I'm uneducated.
04:47 I do this because I'm lazy.
04:49 And then, you know, there's that fun racial element.
04:51 My favorite racial joke that I've gotten
04:54 was "Lady in the streets colonized in the sheets."
04:57 I thought that was really creative. (laughs)
04:59 - They also called me a white supremacist.
05:02 And I was like, "Okay, I'm dating a Latina woman,
05:05 and I'm a white supremacist."
05:06 - There are feminists on Reddit who hate me,
05:10 most of which are single, over the age of 30.
05:13 I just want women to know
05:14 that they have other options out there.
05:17 Sometimes I've been accused of being a gold digger.
05:21 - She asked for $100 a week.
05:23 What kind of gold digger wants that?
05:25 - Actually, there's a lot of positive comments
05:28 from women who feel like they've finally been seen.
05:31 It's the positive comments that I get from women
05:33 in that context that really let me know
05:36 that I'm doing the right thing.
05:37 Our friend is coming over to get to the bottom
05:41 of what his opinion of our relationship is.
05:43 - I know that she has a YouTube channel
05:45 and that it's pretty successful.
05:47 From what I understand, she sells the idea
05:50 that you don't necessarily have to be a professional,
05:54 that it's okay to be a housewife.
05:57 - Do you think it's wrong for Alyssa
05:59 to be employed by Tami?
06:00 - Here's what I think.
06:01 Hey, here's my offer.
06:03 I will provide you a home, a house,
06:05 protection and provision.
06:07 What I ask for in return is support, a clean house,
06:12 so that I can go out into the world
06:13 and focus on the external world.
06:16 I just think that it's the right thing to do
06:18 to give you a return on investment.
06:20 If you have to put it in economic terms, fine,
06:22 but it's just doing the right thing in a marriage.
06:24 You take care of me, I take care of you.
06:27 It's a good bankroll to be on.
06:28 - I don't view marriage as an economic relationship.
06:31 I know that you can analyze it that way.
06:33 - Just to clarify, how I describe it,
06:35 that's an economic mode?
06:36 - Yeah, that's an economic way of describing it.
06:39 - 'Cause I didn't know that I was describing it that way.
06:40 - No, no, it is.
06:42 - There is an economic relationship there.
06:44 That's just not how I would ever choose to describe it.
06:47 You make a commitment to that other person, right?
06:51 So that commitment isn't about like,
06:54 I'm gonna do X, Y, Z in exchange for A, B, C.
06:58 You're gonna miss the big picture.
07:00 - I've only ever really used an economic lens
07:03 because like, literally women would rather,
07:07 some women these days,
07:08 they're just completely content to follow
07:10 the leadership of an employer that doesn't care about them.
07:13 And if you were to tell them that they could
07:15 depend on a good man financially,
07:18 they just would rather stay at that job
07:20 instead of having to cooperate,
07:22 I would even say, with a man.
07:24 So, trying to save these women.
07:26 So, these ungrateful women.
07:28 - A big corporation ain't ever gonna care about you, okay?
07:31 Like, your spouse, there's a chance.
07:34 - I'd boil it down to biology.
07:36 You're never gonna take away the genetics
07:38 and the biology of it.
07:39 Because I am in my masculine,
07:43 and I'm able to go out and provide the resources,
07:46 I feel great.
07:48 - I think most modern relationships are unhappy.
07:50 I think men act like women,
07:52 I think women act like men,
07:54 and when they get together,
07:55 they have a really unbalanced dynamic.
07:58 I think the entire culture that we have right now in America
08:02 wants you to be single, fat, depressed, and childless.
08:06 So, if you are going to be counter to that,
08:09 it's gonna be a rough go.
08:11 - We have a relationship with ourselves
08:13 that make us relatively happy,
08:15 and then we come together,
08:17 and then we have a happy marriage.
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