00:00We believe in traditional gender roles, and I think it's healthy.
00:03I felt a lot of judgment.
00:05They make comments like,
00:07oh, well, it sounds like you're just a slave.
00:10I get a lot of pushback from women who think that
00:14I'm manipulative, I'm abusive, I'm controlling.
00:18I definitely don't think that I could do the trad wife life.
00:21How would you feel if one of your children rejected traditional gender roles?
00:27Alright, you ready, BB?
00:29Being a trad wife means mostly sacrifice to me.
00:35It's putting my family's needs first and their wants first.
00:38She's helping me get ready.
00:39I'm Bradley.
00:40I'm Grace.
00:41And we believe in traditional gender roles.
00:43We have five children, four together.
00:47My eldest is 16.
00:50And then there's Leo, who's 8, Autumn, who's 3 1⁄2,
00:54Max, who is 2 1⁄2, and then Lily, she's 16 months.
00:59Tell us what a typical day in your family looks like.
01:03Typical day.
01:06I mean, you're not here for a lot of it.
01:09Yeah, I'm going to have to refer to you for most of it.
01:12I wake up before my husband and I'll make sure that I get my face done,
01:16get my hair done, get my outfit on.
01:19So I pick out his work clothes and I set them out
01:22and then I fold his shirt to set on his pants.
01:25He does so much for us.
01:26It's really the least I can do for him, you know.
01:31He doesn't have to stress about it.
01:32He doesn't have to worry if he's got clean clothes.
01:36We initially met in 2009.
01:40I was going through a divorce and I needed somebody
01:44to watch my son that I had from my previous marriage.
01:48So I had been a nanny for six months, where I stayed home, I cooked, and I cleaned.
01:53Over the six months, I definitely developed feelings for her.
01:56I started to develop feelings for him in return.
02:00And we were married in 2014?
02:04Yes, 2014.
02:05Mom, I want milk.
02:07You want milk?
02:09With breakfast you can have milk, okay?
02:11Grace, do you enjoy this part of cooking?
02:13Yes, yes, I do enjoy this part.
02:18I enjoy the challenge it is, too, because I did not grow up knowing how to cook
02:24and so I've had to learn how to cook.
02:28My role is primary breadwinner.
02:30I go out, I work, bring home the bacon, so to speak,
02:35and my paycheck I hand over to her, figuratively, of course.
02:41She does all of the bills, she buys the food.
02:44I am in charge of all of the meal planning and all the meal preparation, all of that.
02:49Who's ready for breakfast?
02:50I am!
02:52All right.
02:53What do we say?
02:54Breakfast!
02:59Who's the best cook in the family, Leo?
03:02Mom.
03:03Tell me about what Daddy cooks.
03:06He doesn't cook really much of anything.
03:09My mommy makes the best casserole.
03:13So what impact do you think these views have on your kids?
03:15As far as seeing the gender role aspect of it, I think it's healthy.
03:21I think that the boys growing up and seeing Dad go out to work
03:25and the boys learn that is what you're going to have to do as a man.
03:29For the girls, I think seeing that Mom takes care of the babies
03:35and they learn kind of that nurturing aspect,
03:40I don't think that that's something that we should shy away from.
03:47Love you.
03:48Love you, too. Drive safe, okay?
03:51Before I was a trad wife, I went to school to be an early childhood educator,
03:58and that really gave me the confidence to be able to homeschool.
04:03I don't really talk about the gender roles with the kids very often.
04:08It comes up with, like, feeding babies with the girls.
04:13So if they do have children, I would like them to breastfeed their children.
04:19Do you want to clean your hands?
04:21How would you feel if one of your children rejected traditional gender roles?
04:26I would really think it would depend on the context.
04:29Like, if one of the girls wanted to go to college and everything,
04:32then there's nothing wrong with that.
04:35Now if the girls grow up and they want to go, you know, see the world,
04:39they want to be girl bosses, I'm fine with that.
04:42We have the rest of society to tell them they can do that.
04:45I think it's important for us to show them that there's an alternative.
04:50I hope and pray that our daughters have an amazing relationship with their husbands
04:57like I do with him.
04:59Like, I have never felt more respected, more loved, protected, taken care of.
05:04I love you, Mama.
05:06There are many people that I'm close to that are opposed to the trad wife lifestyle,
05:12and they make comments like, oh, well, it sounds like you're just a slave.
05:17It's like, oh, well, I don't take it that way.
05:21I get a lot of pushback from women who think that I'm manipulative,
05:27I'm abusive, I'm controlling, I forced this on her.
05:32I've heard the comment, I can't keep my wife in the kitchen.
05:36I get a lot of negativity because I should want to go out and get a job,
05:42but, I mean, I think it's a woman's right to choose, right?
05:46We don't have any friends who have this kind of dynamic of traditional roles.
05:51We do have friends where the woman stays home and takes care of the kids,
05:56but the husband, when he gets home, he's expected to help cook and clean
06:02and do bath time and bedtime routine with the babies.
06:05And, yeah, they just live a completely different way than we do.
06:12Hi! How are you?
06:14Good, how are you?
06:15So my friend Allison is coming today, which I'm super excited. It's been a while.
06:20She lives a very different lifestyle than we do.
06:23Because she's the breadwinner, her boyfriend has to kind of make up the difference in the child-rearing realm.
06:31The way that you choose to raise your kids and your lifestyle, I respect that a lot.
06:38As a mom, it's hard.
06:42It is different, though, because you homeschool your kids.
06:45Yes, I do.
06:46How do you feel like they get socialized?
06:50Well, we have a homeschool group that we meet up with, and so we meet with them at least once a week.
06:56I definitely don't think that I could do the trad wife life.
06:59It's just not something that kind of fits my agenda and how my life kind of rolls, you know.
07:07It's not only it just doesn't work for me, but, you know, it's expensive to live.
07:12It's like kind of balancing, like, okay, do I work and pay for school, or do I stay home and teach them?
07:19I do other things to save us money so we can live like this, because there's some sacrifice, if you will.
07:26Sure, sure.
07:27So, like, I'll go thrifting, same with the cloth diapering.
07:30Right, right.
07:31Yeah, see.
07:32You can't buy meals from scratch at home.
07:34I wish I had the capability to stay at home and, like, take care of my kids and do all of that and be the stay-at-home mom.
07:41It's just, it doesn't work for me.
07:44People do what works for them or what they've seen modeled for them, and a lot of times that just doesn't look like this.
07:53Welcome home.
07:56Hi.
07:57Daddy's home.
07:59What we're doing is working for us.
08:01I couldn't imagine deviating significantly from how we're living now.
08:07Did you have a good day?
08:08What would you guys like to pass on to your kids about your life?
08:12I hope what they take away from it is it's a happy lifestyle, it's a healthy lifestyle, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
08:20I think the best part about being a tradwife is the freedom.
08:25I can set up our schedule however I want.
08:28You make it sound really good.
08:29How do I become a tradwife?
Comments