- 3 years ago
Eddie | The Dog Walk
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00:00 All right, today's Wednesday, July 26.
00:02 Welcome to the Dog Walk presented by Barstool Sports.
00:04 Free swim Wednesday.
00:06 It's myself, Danny Chief.
00:07 We also have a special guest, Chris Bader.
00:10 Welcome back, Chris.
00:13 - It's good to be back.
00:13 How are you guys?
00:14 - Yeah, last time we saw you,
00:16 I think it was who, me, you, and Kilgallen?
00:18 - Yeah, we did a thing for one of the officers
00:22 who had passed away.
00:22 - Yes.
00:23 - And we had a charity show that we did
00:24 at Joe's on Weed Street.
00:25 - Yes, I remember that.
00:27 How are you?
00:28 - Good.
00:29 How are you guys, good?
00:29 - We just ordered us a bunch of Persian food.
00:32 - You know, I was right.
00:34 None of you guys have had it, so.
00:35 - No, but I've been curious about it.
00:37 I knew what it was.
00:38 - What I was excited about was that
00:40 Chief knew about the tadeek,
00:42 which is at the bottom of the pan.
00:44 It's the best part.
00:45 Everybody at parties fight over it.
00:47 It's basically, I don't know how to describe it,
00:49 like, compared to, it's like pizza,
00:52 nobody wants the crust or the ends.
00:53 But this is the middle.
00:55 Like, everybody wants it,
00:56 but you have to make a whole pot of rice
00:57 in order for it to be done.
00:59 - I've only ever seen it on Anthony Bourdain shows.
01:02 - So what, it's like the soggy cereal at the end,
01:04 you just drink it?
01:05 - Dude, how dare you disrespect my culture like that?
01:08 The tadeek is the soggy cereal, how can you do that?
01:10 - It's like you said it's the last thing left at the bottom.
01:13 - Yeah, it's the last thing,
01:14 well, you have to make the whole,
01:16 first of all, I'm not a chef,
01:17 I just want everyone to know that.
01:18 I'm a comedian, but you have to--
01:19 - You're kind of a chef.
01:20 You've had to cook before, I bet you,
01:23 when a cook walked out at one of your places.
01:25 - Yeah, or if you guys ever want to come over,
01:26 I have an air fryer, I'm really good at the whole thing.
01:28 I put like cauliflower rice and meats in there.
01:30 - All right, sounds good.
01:31 - That's a natural born chef.
01:32 - I think the Persian food will be better, though.
01:34 - I hope so.
01:34 - It's a place in Albany Park, it's called Nuna Kebab,
01:36 and it's like, there's not a lot of Persian restaurants,
01:39 obviously, there's not a lot of Persians in Chicago.
01:41 - That's true.
01:42 - That's why I'm the number one
01:43 Iranian-American comedian in Chicago.
01:45 - Oh, congrats.
01:46 - Who else is up for the title?
01:47 - There's like two others.
01:48 - Who'd you have to kill for that?
01:50 - I don't want to plug them.
01:51 - Okay, all right, fair.
01:52 - I'm just gonna focus on myself.
01:53 - It's about you.
01:54 - Yeah.
01:55 - Are you plugging it, or you got a show coming up?
01:56 - Yeah, I'm headlining Zanies in Old Town,
01:59 August 1st and 2nd.
02:00 Awesome club, historic club on Wells,
02:03 been around forever.
02:03 - Legendary spot.
02:05 - Yeah, it'll be fun.
02:06 We're gonna record it.
02:07 These days we live in like a clip world,
02:09 so you have to clip everything, put everything online.
02:12 So I'll be retiring a lot of material after this.
02:15 - Yeah, I was gonna say, so you just,
02:16 once you put it as a reel on Instagram, it's done, right?
02:19 And you're not doing that before the actual show,
02:21 because then it would give it away?
02:22 - Yeah, so right now when you look online,
02:26 you see lots of comedians doing crowd work,
02:28 like TikTok, Instagram.
02:29 A lot of us are almost pushed into that realm.
02:32 And then you work on your special,
02:34 or you work on your hour.
02:35 Now we're just putting out YouTube specials
02:37 if you're not big enough to get a Netflix one.
02:39 So you basically work on your hour,
02:41 you build your hour, you go on the road,
02:43 you do stuff around town.
02:44 And this will be the one that I'm gonna put up on YouTube,
02:47 like hoping that you get the views.
02:50 But there are some jokes, Danny,
02:52 where I only get like 1,000 views,
02:54 and I'm like, wow, Naples, I'm going this weekend,
02:56 they're not gonna know.
02:57 (laughing)
02:58 I'm not gonna fucking write something, too, how dare they?
03:01 - Blame it on the algorithm.
03:02 - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:02 - Blame it on the algorithm.
03:03 - It's Zuckerberg's fault.
03:04 - Nobody in Naples has Instagram.
03:06 - That's also right.
03:07 - Yeah.
03:08 - They do Facebook.
03:09 - Yeah, they do Facebook.
03:10 - It's a brand new material for them.
03:12 So they put all the crowd work on,
03:14 'cause obviously it's hard to replicate that,
03:16 you're not spoiling anything by putting crowd work.
03:18 But what about comedians that never do crowd work?
03:20 What are they promoting on their Instagram,
03:21 'cause they can't give away anything from the special?
03:24 - They're probably really good comedians,
03:26 like Bill Burr and Chappelle,
03:28 and guys who don't have to put anything up.
03:30 - They can just think of a new joke?
03:31 Oh yeah, or that too.
03:32 - Or awesome writers.
03:33 There's a comic in Chicago, well he's from Chicago,
03:35 he's one of my buddies.
03:36 - Don't plug him.
03:37 - Is he Persian?
03:38 - I have to plug him, 'cause he's very funny.
03:41 Jeff Osmus, and I'm sure you guys have seen Jeffrey Osmus.
03:43 He just did a YouTube special that he put up online,
03:47 and every time you watch that guy, he has a new joke.
03:50 It's unbelievable, to the point where he's like,
03:52 yeah I think I'm gonna put that online.
03:53 I'm like, wait, how?
03:55 Just like prolific writer.
03:57 Like those guys are just awesome.
03:59 I just talk about how sad I am,
04:01 and there's only a certain level of sadness you can get to.
04:05 To where I need to be sad again.
04:06 - And then it becomes real?
04:07 - Yeah, then it becomes real.
04:08 - Fair, that's a good point.
04:12 Chief, how are the balls feeling?
04:13 He's got ball issues lately.
04:14 - Wait, tell me, I've had 'em before.
04:17 - Oh, what were your ball issues?
04:19 - My right testicle was in a lot of pain
04:23 for almost three months, every time I ejaculated.
04:28 - Oh, so like every single day, probably.
04:31 - Was it enlarged?
04:32 - Yeah, because I'm a sex machine.
04:34 - Was it enlarged? - Or a porn addict?
04:35 - No, it wasn't, well, that's private.
04:38 - Define addict.
04:39 - Yeah.
04:40 (laughing)
04:40 - It pops up. - Define porn.
04:42 - No, it wasn't enlarged, it was just,
04:46 I had this pain, and sometimes when I would sit,
04:48 so I got super nervous, and I thought,
04:51 this could be the end, and I went to see a bunch of doctors.
04:53 - Of your balls?
04:53 - Of my balls, yeah.
04:55 I thought I might have to lose one,
04:56 but it wasn't any of that.
04:57 It was just paranoia, and that was it.
05:00 - Yeah, anxiety.
05:02 - Hey, have you ever had the torsion?
05:04 - No, what's that?
05:05 - I say that's some of the most pain you'll ever be in.
05:06 - What's torsion? - When your balls twist.
05:08 - Oh, I've heard of that, yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:11 - Wait, when they twist?
05:12 - Well, like they go over each other.
05:14 - Yeah, it's like, maybe you switch sides
05:16 in the body pillow.
05:17 - Yeah. (laughing)
05:19 But that feels like something that,
05:21 just when you look at your balls,
05:22 and you know how they hang,
05:24 it feels like something that should almost happen.
05:27 You know, like there's just a couple of things
05:29 knocking around down there.
05:31 You'd think that they would be able, like it would--
05:32 - Yeah, there's no reason it shouldn't be
05:33 like the twisty thing on the end of the bread.
05:35 - Yes, thank you. - It's like there's no reason.
05:37 - Yeah, but thank God it doesn't happen.
05:39 - It also depends how low your balls are hanging
05:42 for them to twist like that.
05:43 - That's the problem I've been having lately.
05:45 I don't know what's going on.
05:46 My ball's been a little bit longer lately.
05:48 I feel like I sit down, I'm sitting on my balls.
05:50 But right now I'm okay. - Have you shown anyone?
05:51 - No, it's only been, it really started
05:53 at the movies last Thursday.
05:54 - And it's probably-- - He's stand up and cough.
05:57 - It's probably not an issue with the balls.
05:58 It's a problem with the ball bag.
06:00 You know, those things. - Yeah, they're just--
06:01 - Yeah, dad screwed 'em.
06:02 - Yeah, exactly. - I think, yeah, yeah.
06:04 There's no, the balls are fine.
06:06 But I think, it might be like a weather thing too.
06:09 I feel like when it gets a little humid,
06:10 they just, the balls just drop down.
06:12 - One of those old jewel bags.
06:14 - Yeah. - Yeah.
06:14 (laughing)
06:15 - Exactly.
06:16 - I think there's places you can get a new scrotum.
06:18 - I'm not, I'm fine with my scrotum.
06:20 I just need it to just, you know,
06:21 like it's fine right now.
06:22 I've just had, you know.
06:23 - I'll take a lighter pink, less hair.
06:26 Could you imagine what's a perfect scrotum?
06:28 You want enough room for the balls.
06:31 - Yeah, I guess so. - Yeah.
06:32 - I guess so. - A nice hue.
06:34 - Have you ever had a little surgery done?
06:36 - Appendix, when I was-- - Oh, I was talking
06:39 about the cosmetic. - Oh, cosmetic?
06:41 - Yeah. - I thought about getting
06:42 my lips done. - Oh, yeah?
06:43 - For a little bit, but. - For real?
06:45 - No, no, I don't. (laughing)
06:48 - No, but like, you're, we talk sometimes
06:51 about like your other job, like you're in like
06:54 the nightlife, and like that's like a thing.
06:55 Like nobody's ever been like, yo, you gotta see my guy.
06:58 Like I'll get you a discount on a lot of--
07:00 - Okay, so you're around-- - Does Botox count
07:02 as a, would you count that as cosmetic surgery?
07:04 - Kind of, but barely.
07:06 - I've never got Botox.
07:07 - You have good skin. - Thank you.
07:10 I wear 50, I recommend it to everybody.
07:12 - That's, this guy's just Persian, that's what it is.
07:15 - No, I'm Persian, yeah, I'm lucky.
07:17 But I, you're around it, like at bars, clubs,
07:19 like you see it all, like you see a girl a week later,
07:23 and you're like, what happened?
07:23 It looks like her face just got pressed against the window.
07:26 And they just got their work done,
07:28 or you see guys get work done.
07:30 I wanna get my hairline down to here,
07:34 and like all the way around, and I wanna dye my hair
07:36 jet black, and just hang out with guys in their 20s.
07:39 (laughing)
07:41 - It's like Silvio from Soprano.
07:43 (laughing)
07:44 They were like, he got the wrong wig or something,
07:47 and then I think they used it,
07:48 and they had to keep it ever since.
07:49 If you look now, it's like, obviously extremely fake.
07:53 - Oh, okay, so it's not there, okay.
07:54 - 'Cause he's in the E Street band, Stephen Van Zandt.
07:57 So, I think that's it.
07:59 But yeah, I don't know.
08:00 - But he always has like, the rag on his head when he--
08:02 - Yes, he does that.
08:05 - He could just have hair like that, he's covering it up.
08:07 - How do you get to that point where you're like,
08:09 I could pull this off?
08:10 I mean, obviously he was a great musician.
08:13 But could you imagine turning into like a bandana guy?
08:17 - No, doesn't it depend just how famous you are,
08:21 how much money you have?
08:22 - It's like an emperor has no clothes thing.
08:24 - Yeah.
08:25 - 'Cause it's not like this is a good look for him.
08:27 But it's just like, he's just like, oh, that's Steve.
08:29 Like, let him do whatever the fuck he wants.
08:31 - Yeah, no one's calling you weird for whatever you wear.
08:33 - But that's the thing, like how come him or like Hulk Hogan
08:36 never got bullied, and they're like, dude, you shaved bald.
08:38 They were just like, no, I'm wearing the bandana,
08:39 and it's normal.
08:40 You know what I mean?
08:41 - But the bandana was like Hogan's thing.
08:43 - Yeah. - It was.
08:44 - Imagine the merch that he sold just off the bandana.
08:47 - It's probably true. - Totally.
08:47 - Yeah. - The Hulk bandana.
08:49 - I wonder if that's Van Zant's thing too.
08:53 Like, it's like, it just becomes part of you.
08:55 Like, you do it once, and like, maybe he took a picture
08:57 with the E Street Band, like the '70s,
08:59 and he was wearing it one day.
09:01 And it's like, well, I guess this is my thing.
09:02 - His branding. - You just commit to it, yeah.
09:04 - They sold it in the merch tent.
09:05 - Yeah. - And it became a thing.
09:07 - Just became a thing. - I could see that.
09:08 But there's, like, Leo, for example.
09:11 10 years ago, we were at a club in LA,
09:14 and Leo was partying.
09:16 He had tube socks.
09:18 He was chain-smoking cigarettes.
09:20 He didn't, like, it was like a T-shirt
09:22 that you would wear to eighth grade gym class
09:24 as your backup shirt. - Yeah.
09:25 - And just chain-smoking, but he was with just like 30 chicks.
09:29 And I was like, that can't be Leo.
09:30 And like, you look over, I'm like, holy cow, that's Leo.
09:33 I feel like he doesn't care.
09:34 - He always like, dresses like he picks his clothes
09:36 out at like, Champ Sports.
09:37 Like, he's got like a random team.
09:39 Like, I remember I've seen like that picture of him at,
09:41 I think it was at like Madison Square Garden
09:43 for a Knicks game.
09:43 He's wearing like a Cal Berkeley, like,
09:45 just like generic-ass hat.
09:47 And I feel like that's what he's always wearing.
09:49 Tube socks, whatever. - Yeah.
09:50 - He just shops at Champ Sports.
09:52 - Or the Goodwill, he just pulls over and he's just like.
09:55 - And that, to me, is almost just like,
09:56 he knows and he's just flexing.
09:58 He's like, I'm still Leo.
10:00 I'm still gonna pick out whatever supermodel I want
10:02 who's under 25 and be good with it.
10:04 - Yeah, look at Adam Sandler.
10:05 Looks like he's just going to get the paper every morning.
10:08 - But I think he genuinely doesn't give a shit.
10:10 - I don't think, I think fashion is just like,
10:12 to impress people.
10:13 If you're Leo, you don't gotta impress anyone.
10:14 - But I think, but it's, you see what I'm saying though?
10:16 It's like, kind of like reversed.
10:18 Where it's like, I'm so awesome that I can dress like shit
10:22 and still be awesome.
10:23 Where I don't think Adam Sandler's having that same thought.
10:26 - He made the bum look retro.
10:28 - Yeah.
10:28 - I'm gonna start trying.
10:30 - Fashion's gotta be exhausting, dude.
10:33 - Yeah, I don't know how to do it.
10:34 - Like, just being like, up on the trends.
10:35 Like, how do, where do you get that info?
10:37 - I don't know.
10:38 - Captain Cont.
10:39 - Where do you think you're closer on?
10:40 Do you think you're closer on getting like,
10:42 being in on fashion?
10:43 Like, knowing what the hip thing is, or the hip music?
10:46 Like, what do you think's harder
10:47 to be on the ground floor of?
10:49 - I think I could probably get closer with fashion.
10:54 I think there's music out there where it's like,
10:57 like, what was that festival you went to
10:58 with the Lyrical Lemonade guys?
11:00 - Yeah, Summer Smash.
11:01 - Summer Smash, and it's just like, I don't know.
11:04 I wouldn't have known any of those people.
11:07 - It might be easier to tell, like, what is good versus bad.
11:10 If you don't know, with music though, by the numbers,
11:12 like, fashion, you don't know how many people
11:14 are actually wearing that music.
11:15 You actually know how many people are listening to it,
11:17 and like, oh, this is hip.
11:19 - Yeah, but I feel like I would just,
11:20 I would pick it up more from pop culture.
11:22 Just like, watching, like, seeing things on the internet.
11:25 It's like, oh, that's what people are wearing now.
11:27 - And you can grow yourself to actually like
11:29 the new fashion trends.
11:30 It's impossible to like, force yourself
11:32 to like the new music, I feel like.
11:34 - Well, you're not gonna be listening to EDM out of nowhere,
11:37 or like, Suicide Boys.
11:39 - Someone was trying to get me to go to like,
11:41 an EDM show recently, and I was like, no.
11:43 - Are you big on the Suicide Boys?
11:45 - No, man, my music is awful.
11:48 Like, I just have Lumineers and Zach Bryan on repeat.
11:51 - What's wrong with that?
11:53 - No, but I'm just saying, like, I'll learn about a band,
11:55 and all I'll do is just listen to them on Spotify.
11:57 - You just attack Chief's life from there.
11:58 - Yeah, that's, I love the Lumineers,
12:00 and I'm like the world's biggest Zach Bryan fan.
12:02 They have a festival in Nashville at the end of September
12:05 where they're both headlining it.
12:06 - Oh, wow. - Stop it.
12:07 - Yeah, so do you guys wanna go?
12:08 - Yep, what's the name of it, do you know?
12:11 - It's Nashville, it's a festival,
12:13 Franklin part of Nashville.
12:15 It's, I think, September 23rd, the last weekend,
12:18 and I saw, because I couldn't see Zach Bryan.
12:21 - Why not? - When he was here,
12:22 it was my cousin's wedding.
12:24 So I miss Zach Bryan, that's where I really wanna see.
12:26 - He got married on a Thursday?
12:28 - It was the rehearsal dinner at Nuna Kebab,
12:30 which we're getting delivered.
12:31 - Oh, no shit, so this is a family restaurant.
12:35 - Everybody loves the restaurant in the Persian community.
12:37 So yeah, it's one of the good ones, yeah.
12:40 - Black Crowes and Nathaniel Ratliff,
12:42 I might have to go to this.
12:43 - I'm telling you, dude, you should go.
12:44 - Are you ready to go back to Nashville so soon?
12:46 Are you not honky-tonk?
12:47 - I think I can, yeah, I think if I go for the weekend
12:51 and I don't bring Dave, then I can get by.
12:55 - That's the key.
12:55 - So nobody tell Dave that this is the,
12:58 'cause that is, that might be my perfect lineup.
13:01 I love Nathaniel Ratliff.
13:02 - He's gonna be trying to hold a mic
13:04 to the Lumineers interview.
13:05 (laughing)
13:06 He's gonna find out about it.
13:07 - Who, Dave?
13:08 - Yeah. - Yeah.
13:09 - He's tagging along.
13:09 - How did his interviews go?
13:11 - I think they're good. - With Dave?
13:12 - Yeah. - Yeah.
13:13 - He's on the guest list.
13:14 - But I'm just saying, there's no way
13:15 he's not gonna be there.
13:17 - I mean, he'll never find out about it.
13:19 - If you guys could get press passes,
13:22 I could be like your intern.
13:23 - Ooh.
13:24 - All right. - I would always love
13:26 an intern. - Yeah, we do.
13:27 - And it's at like a certain, that's gotta be a big venue.
13:30 - It says it's at the, it's the Pilgrimage Music
13:37 and Cultural Festival.
13:38 I don't know what that is.
13:39 - Oh, it'll be outdoors? - Yeah.
13:40 - Did you do Country Thunder last week on Vader?
13:42 - No. - No?
13:43 - Really? - That's shocking.
13:44 - Dude, come on.
13:45 Are you kidding me?
13:47 - Yeah, I've never been to Country Thunder.
13:48 My buddies, when we were like in our early 20s, always went.
13:52 And this is the best time ever.
13:54 But I just, even in my early 20s,
13:56 I couldn't bring myself to sleep in like a tent.
13:59 And I was always worried where I'm gonna go
14:01 to the bathroom at.
14:02 I was like a bubble boy.
14:03 - Yeah, no, it's definitely--
14:05 - It's an experience, yeah.
14:06 - But you did Spring Break like a million years in a row,
14:08 right? - Yeah, I was there.
14:10 - You were the king of Spring Break.
14:11 - I was that guy who, we sold the trips
14:14 when I was a student rep.
14:15 Then I got to know the guy who owned the company
14:17 when I was 23.
14:19 And every year, we're going to Acapulco, Puerto Vallarta.
14:23 But it wasn't, like you'd see me there
14:25 and you're like, oh man, it must have been so fun.
14:27 Like you're like 40 years old, partying with these people.
14:31 And it wasn't like that.
14:32 It was like, we had to like work.
14:33 Like you got up at 10 in the morning,
14:35 there's a girl-- - 10?
14:36 - Yeah, no, but I'll explain.
14:39 Okay, I mean you're 27 and like you get up at 10,
14:43 you get up at 10 in the morning
14:44 and there's a girl at the pool, already laying out,
14:46 passed out in your puke.
14:47 And then you point at her friend,
14:49 you're like, hey, you gotta, we gotta get your friend,
14:52 we gotta go take her to the nurse, make sure she's okay.
14:53 She's like, she'll be fine.
14:55 I'm just gonna keep laying out.
14:56 And I'm like, no, no, no, she's laying in her puke.
14:58 - She's drowning. - Yeah.
14:59 And then at the club, kids would get so messed up.
15:02 Like I think there was like one time I was there
15:04 for four weeks in Acapulco,
15:05 I didn't drink for three weeks
15:07 'cause I was so nervous about like taking these kids
15:08 to the hospital and like making sure they're okay,
15:10 calling their parents.
15:12 You're a babysitter.
15:12 - Yeah, what do you find to be
15:15 the most elite spring break city?
15:17 - That's a fucking great question.
15:22 To this day, I think the best nightlife
15:25 and spring break city was Acapulco, Mexico
15:29 prior to the cartels coming in and scaring everyone.
15:32 - Dude, do you know about Acapulco?
15:34 - I thought, I mean, it was in like a Beach Boys song.
15:37 - It was massive.
15:38 It was the spot.
15:40 And then-- - But like 60 years ago,
15:42 I thought, right? - No, no, no.
15:43 - No, no, no, dude, up until like 2009,
15:46 like it was the spot. - Oh, really?
15:47 - Yeah. - Okay.
15:48 - She's like big time spot.
15:50 And it like, I was on a direct route
15:53 between some cartel beef or something.
15:55 - Yeah. - And it just--
15:56 - The ports. - Decimated this town.
15:57 Yeah, it's like, it's right by the ports.
15:59 And it just, like there's hotels there
16:02 that fit 1,000 people that just sit like pretty much vacant.
16:07 I'm pretty sure.
16:08 Correct me if I'm wrong.
16:09 - So I always thought that the cartels were like,
16:11 don't fuck with the tourism 'cause they own those hotels too
16:15 isn't that, where did that change?
16:17 - Okay, so I can't speak on the cartels.
16:20 I'll just, I'll speak to like what I know
16:22 about what went on in Mexico was that
16:24 when my sister, who my sister is now 40,
16:27 almost 45 years old, she went on spring break to Acapulco
16:30 and she's the one who kind of told me about it
16:32 when I was 19.
16:33 And she said the most beautiful coastline,
16:34 there are these clubs called Palladium and Mandara
16:37 that like, Mandala, I'm sorry.
16:38 And you'd be, you'd see like, you'd be like on a cliff.
16:41 You drive up in a taxi up there
16:43 and fireworks would go down like all this glass.
16:47 Like fireworks would come down at like two in the morning.
16:49 They had the Acapulco Silverman Devil.
16:51 Like there was a Hyatt there.
16:53 There's this community called Las Brisas
16:56 and Las Brisas had all these villas.
16:58 Stallone had a villa there.
16:59 The Shah of Iran had a villa there.
17:02 The people who like Carlos Slim, of course,
17:05 had many properties there.
17:06 And it was the place to be.
17:09 And they had these Italian restaurants
17:10 that Italians had come and like made this,
17:12 these awesome places on cliffs.
17:14 They had cliff divers.
17:15 And suddenly you saw crime start to happen,
17:19 2004, 2005, 2006.
17:22 But it wasn't anything that would happen to tourists
17:24 because it was bad for business, for the cartels,
17:26 if something happens to students or tourists.
17:29 But CNN, Fox News, and all the outlets kept gaining on it.
17:34 And they wanted pull quotes and they wanna talk about it.
17:37 So one time there was a guy reporting on CNN from the beach.
17:40 We're all there.
17:41 I just watched Indiana University with 1200 kids
17:44 break all the chairs having so much fun.
17:46 He's at a hotel that's not even a student hotel
17:49 saying the cartels are shooting at each other
17:51 and there was no violence going on.
17:53 So the media kinda destroyed it too.
17:55 - No shit, I didn't know that.
17:57 I had always heard that there was like legit shootouts
18:00 and tourists were getting into crossfire.
18:03 It was like--
18:03 - It started to happen later on.
18:05 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:06 - You are correct.
18:07 Like 2011, 2012, it just became too much.
18:10 But it wasn't happening to tourists
18:11 but then a Canadian tourist went missing.
18:13 And then there was like 50 students from Madrid
18:17 who were there I believe in the summer
18:18 and a bunch of the students were decapitated.
18:21 Like Madrid students, it was awful.
18:22 So then Acapulco was done.
18:24 Carlos Slim invested 300 million in the town
18:27 to bring it back.
18:28 Said he's gonna put a subway, make it cleaner.
18:30 But nobody wants to go because of the violence and the crime.
18:33 - That is, not to derail the subject,
18:37 he should be way more famous.
18:38 He was like, I think at one point
18:40 was the richest guy in the world
18:41 and his name is Carlos Slim.
18:42 And I feel like nobody really knows much about him.
18:44 That's the sweetest name there is.
18:46 - Right. - A billionaire.
18:47 - And Chief, you do all these awesome things
18:48 where you do like deep dives into like facts
18:51 and like cool stuff.
18:52 - Yeah, me and Eddie, yeah.
18:53 - Yeah, you guys should do an Acapulco one,
18:55 like a longer one.
18:56 - We should.
18:57 - You guys would love it, dude.
18:58 - Yeah, but--
18:59 - You should have to come back for that one.
19:00 - Yeah.
19:00 - The difference was though, Chief, was like he's saying,
19:03 like of course you try to leave the tourists out of it
19:05 but it was in a shipping line.
19:07 So it was just a land where it was, it was just--
19:09 - Just bad--
19:10 - It was just bad--
19:11 - Luck almost, yeah.
19:12 - Yeah, that's terrible.
19:13 - I feel like we brushed over the fact that,
19:15 what were you doing?
19:16 You're planning spring break trips for people?
19:18 (laughing)
19:19 - Okay, so I'll explain.
19:20 I started doing comedy about 11 years ago.
19:24 Prior to doing comedy and during the day,
19:28 I'm a partner in a hospitality group.
19:30 Prior to all of that, I would work in bars.
19:32 Like at University of Illinois, I worked at bars there.
19:35 It was 19 to get in, I was a bar manager.
19:37 And we would do anything.
19:38 Like you'd sign up to be like a Playboy rep.
19:40 You'd sign up to be a Nike rep.
19:41 Like I would just sign up reps,
19:43 like multi-level marketing schemes.
19:45 And I started working for a spring break company.
19:47 And then I realized, I was like, oh, this is pretty cool.
19:49 I get to go for two weeks, work for them.
19:52 The owners were young guys and really nice people.
19:55 And it continued to happen because then I started
19:58 like an event promotions company.
20:00 Kind of like what Dante did.
20:01 When he was doing that, I was doing it.
20:03 We had like separate ones.
20:04 Mine was called the Wingman.
20:05 - Rivalries.
20:06 - No, we were friends.
20:07 But it was called Wingman.
20:10 So we'd do these parties at like different bars and pubs.
20:13 I killed Acapulco.
20:14 - Dante versus Bader.
20:15 - So how long were you doing that for?
20:16 How many spring breaks?
20:18 - 12.
20:19 - 12.
20:19 - We'd meet kids.
20:20 I'd meet like Danny from Iowa and he had all these friends
20:23 and he would come to our parties in the summer.
20:24 So it was like a great thing that we did.
20:26 - Networking thing too.
20:27 - Yeah, but it was super fun.
20:29 And like I said, as I got older, like even 25, 26,
20:32 it wasn't as fun for those two weeks
20:34 because kids were so drunk and you had to make sure
20:37 all the kids were okay too.
20:40 - That's a damper.
20:41 I feel like no Christmas break trips, only spring break.
20:45 - Everyone started doing a thing called the ski trip.
20:48 So they started going, 'cause it was so cheap.
20:50 It was like 400 bucks, not Aspen.
20:52 Like they would go to Beaver Creek, Winter Park,
20:57 and Snoop Dogg would be there
20:59 and there'd be like five other small shows.
21:02 And there was like thousands of kids that would do that
21:04 and you'd take a bus for 16 hours to Colorado.
21:06 I never was involved in any of that.
21:08 - Okay, that's a shame.
21:10 - It's a shame.
21:10 - That would have been nice.
21:11 - You wouldn't want to see me on skis.
21:12 - That would have been nice.
21:14 - Hey, real quick here, Roback Activewear.
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21:18 and they just keep the great gear coming.
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21:23 they got the performance hoodie.
21:25 This thing's beautiful, Bader.
21:26 You need to get yourself one of these.
21:28 Chief's holding up the performance polo.
21:30 Danny's got the hat right there, that beautiful dog logo.
21:32 And of course, they got the quarter zips.
21:34 The Q-Zips are so soft, perfect for a night on the town
21:36 and an early morning walk for a quick round on the course.
21:39 They're incredibly versatile.
21:40 Really, all their shit is.
21:41 - Yeah, you want to keep up with fashion
21:43 like we were talking about?
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21:59 That's 20% off all hoodies, joggers, and polos
22:02 with code dog.
22:03 And that's at the end of the week.
22:04 - I think you should get your whole,
22:05 set up your fall wardrobe.
22:06 Fall's around, I know it's hot as balls this week,
22:08 but fall is around the corner.
22:10 You're gonna want those joggers.
22:11 You're gonna want that performance hoodie.
22:12 You should get that done right now.
22:13 - And be ready.
22:14 - Yeah, get a nice polo for--
22:15 - Polo, I mean, this is golf guy it.
22:17 - Labor Day weekend golf, you know?
22:19 And the promo code ends at the end of the week,
22:20 so make sure you hop on it fast.
22:23 Danny?
22:25 - Thank you, Ed.
22:26 Great ad.
22:26 - Roback.com.
22:27 Dog.
22:28 Who is, who's like, who is the,
22:30 who, what artist played the most?
22:32 - What do you mean? - Who is like the,
22:34 the spring break guy?
22:36 Like what songs were playing in the background?
22:37 - No, not even that.
22:38 Like, 'cause whenever I went to,
22:40 like I went to Panama City Beach once for spring break,
22:44 and like Luke Bryan was like the PCB guy.
22:46 - Yeah.
22:46 - You know what I mean?
22:47 Was there like an Acapulco guy?
22:48 It was always like Snoop Dogg,
22:49 like you said, was on the ski trips.
22:52 - During that time, like the Acapulco period,
22:54 it was local guys,
22:56 and they'd bring in like DJs from the Big Ten.
22:58 There was never like someone crazy
23:00 that they would bring in,
23:01 'cause they never wanted to pay for it.
23:01 They never had to.
23:02 So it was the devil, the silver man,
23:04 that you maybe, you may or may not have seen the videos.
23:07 You could Google the Acapulco devil,
23:09 and this guy would dress up as all silver,
23:14 and he had like a,
23:16 he had almost like a headdress.
23:17 Like it would look like a Native American
23:19 in a way headdress,
23:20 and he was a local Mexican guy there.
23:22 - Whoa. - And he did it for 20 years.
23:24 I'm not exaggerating,
23:25 and we would bring him to Joe's on Weed Street,
23:28 and we would do parties.
23:29 - No way. - His name was Benji,
23:31 and he was a nice guy.
23:34 He's still around, super odd dude,
23:37 but people would go wild,
23:40 and at the end, the devil would come out
23:42 at 3.30 in the morning at these clubs,
23:44 and every girl and guy would go,
23:46 and there was always one girl
23:47 who'd get pulled up and make out with him.
23:49 And you'd see him just like,
23:51 you know, you can feel me dance,
23:53 you can feel me dance,
23:54 and like he would,
23:55 it was this huge song,
23:56 and that was what everyone looked forward to,
23:58 and that went on for years.
23:59 - What genre was he?
24:01 - He was like EDM-ish. - EDM-ish?
24:03 - Yeah, like dance EDM-ish. - This guy's wild looking,
24:05 though, I mean.
24:06 - Where is he now?
24:07 - You know, I think I'm still Facebook friends with him.
24:10 - Dude, you gotta get a line on this guy.
24:11 - Yeah, we gotta call him and see what he's up to.
24:14 - He's gotta be at the show at Zanies next week.
24:16 - Have him on the pod. - We gotta have him
24:17 at Zanies, yeah.
24:17 - Have him on the pod,
24:18 and have White Sox Dave translate.
24:21 - Yeah, you should.
24:23 - Yeah, we should.
24:24 We definitely should have this guy.
24:27 - Is his Facebook name Devil,
24:28 or is it covered by name Benji?
24:29 - No, I think it's Benji.
24:30 I think it was Acapulco, Devil, Benji,
24:32 and then he went to Cancun for a while,
24:34 and it lasted, 'cause Acapulco moved to Cancun.
24:36 - Oh, he got poached.
24:38 - Branding issues.
24:38 - Well, no, it was just like,
24:40 the daddios in Cancun, those owners wanted to bring him,
24:44 'cause they're like, no one's coming.
24:45 So only actually Mexicans would go to Acapulco
24:48 for a period of time, for like five, six years,
24:50 and that was like their lake house.
24:52 That was like Lake Geneva,
24:52 so affluent people would fly from Mexico City
24:55 and go to Acapulco,
24:56 and that happened in the summer and on the weekends.
24:58 They started to make a comeback,
25:01 not as much, but it would be super interesting,
25:03 I mean, if you guys could ever do it,
25:06 if you went there and you interviewed these people,
25:08 like if we went and you asked them questions
25:10 about what the town was like and what's happening now,
25:13 like the guy who owned the shop in Acapulco.
25:15 I mean Sinatra used to go to Acapulco,
25:17 but that was like way back in the day.
25:18 That was like his place.
25:19 - They're like, oh, I love the devil.
25:21 Used to worship him.
25:22 - Yeah, used to worship the devil.
25:24 - Donnie would go down there, I'm sure.
25:26 - I'd try it.
25:28 - No, Montau and Don.
25:29 I mean, he's the--
25:30 - I'd go down with him.
25:31 - Oh yeah, he's a travel guy.
25:32 - He's a travel guy, for sure.
25:33 He is.
25:34 - It sounds like another edition
25:37 of that Monkey Boy series they're doing.
25:39 They find old mascots, you know,
25:40 like Barstool's doing with Nick and--
25:42 - Oh, they did.
25:43 - That could be the next installment, the devil.
25:45 - He was like a mascot for like a New Hampshire
25:47 minor league baseball team, it was Monkey Boy,
25:49 and then somebody tackled him and he retired.
25:51 - It looks awesome.
25:52 - Yeah.
25:52 - Oh, really?
25:53 - It's like, it's Nick KB and--
25:54 - Dude, it's so good.
25:55 - Michelangelo's behind it.
25:57 I think Clemmer used to work with him.
25:58 That's how it started.
25:59 - It sounds amazing.
26:00 - Yeah, and the mask is like--
26:01 - Oh, it's right up their alley.
26:02 - The mask is like terrifying.
26:04 - Yeah.
26:05 - It's like a where are they now for mascots.
26:07 - Yes.
26:08 - Dude, that is genius.
26:10 - I gotta look this up.
26:10 - Eddie, you'll see the trailer and like,
26:14 block off your calendar.
26:15 - Just be fired up for it.
26:16 - Yeah.
26:17 - Is Benny the Bull still like the same Benny the Bull?
26:20 - That's a good question.
26:20 I mean, he's an athlete.
26:22 You would think that they would, like,
26:23 you can't be, right?
26:24 Like, you would have blown an Achilles by now.
26:26 - For that many years.
26:28 - Breath Swim, yeah, yeah.
26:29 Like, what's their shelf life?
26:31 New mascot every five years?
26:33 - Well, I think about the Phoenix Suns gorilla
26:35 who's doing like the trampoline dunks.
26:37 - Yeah, that guy's like a Harlem Globetrotter.
26:38 Like, that guy can do everything.
26:39 - I think it's like real sports.
26:40 Like, once you're over 30,
26:41 like, you're aging out of your prime.
26:43 - Yeah.
26:44 It's like, can you imagine the Suns gorilla
26:47 who can't dunk anymore?
26:48 It's just like some sad guy,
26:49 like, shooting free throws at halftime.
26:51 - I had to get myself to stop posting videos
26:54 I was getting sent into Barstool Chicago
26:55 of Benny the Bull doing behind the back half court shots
26:59 and making them.
27:00 I was just amazed every time.
27:01 It's like, yeah, we just posted this last week.
27:02 It's like, I did it again.
27:04 - It's a stud.
27:05 - Yeah.
27:06 - Remember when Tommy Hawk got beat up?
27:08 - Oh, yeah.
27:09 - That was fucking crazy.
27:10 You've never seen that video?
27:11 - No.
27:12 - Oh, it was--
27:13 - What happened?
27:14 - It was like Barstool fans.
27:17 - Oh, was it?
27:17 Who fought him?
27:18 - They sent it to me.
27:20 - Oh, really?
27:21 - Like, that's how it got out.
27:21 - Oh, shit.
27:22 - No, Barstool fans didn't beat him up.
27:23 That was--
27:24 - Yeah.
27:26 - Wait, really?
27:27 - I think that they were like--
27:28 - They were like college kids, yeah.
27:30 - No, it had to be like that guy and his fucking dad
27:32 who attacked the first baseman at the White Sox.
27:35 - Brother, it was college,
27:37 and they basically, it was just a dare,
27:39 and then Tommy Hawk fed him some.
27:42 Tommy Hawk got the better of that fight.
27:44 - Oh, yeah.
27:45 - Wow.
27:46 - Tommy Hawk beat the shit out of that kid.
27:46 - You know that's White Sox Dave's uncle, right?
27:49 Remember that?
27:49 He attacks the first base coach of the Royals?
27:51 - Wait, was it really White Sox Dave's uncle?
27:54 - No, okay.
27:55 - It's such a weird lie.
27:55 - See, I'm so gullible.
27:56 - You're not gullible.
27:57 - It's a weird enough lie to where--
27:59 - Well, with Dave, you never know.
28:01 Like, anything can happen.
28:02 - That could be in his bloodline, yeah.
28:04 - Like, it's such a Dave thing, so I'm just like, yeah.
28:06 - I'm still stuck on this Tommy Hawk getting beat up.
28:09 - You've never seen this video?
28:10 - I don't think I have.
28:11 - I'll find it.
28:12 - But like, so what happened?
28:13 You said they just got dared and started wailing on him
28:15 like outside the United Center?
28:16 - Yeah, like, so they had one friend was filming--
28:18 - Outside or in the arena?
28:20 - In the arena, like the 100 level concourse.
28:22 - Wow.
28:23 - And so he--
28:24 - It had to be planned.
28:25 If one guy's filming, like I'm gonna go beat his ass.
28:27 - Right, and then so he went to like--
28:29 - Premeditated mascot.
28:30 - Yeah, and then Tommy Hawk like--
28:32 - That is so bad.
28:33 - Here, yeah.
28:34 He like slammed the kid down.
28:35 - Dude, yeah, Tommy Hawk's--
28:36 - Tommy Hawk beat the shit out of this guy.
28:41 - You're gonna have, oh my god.
28:42 - I only have a gif here, but--
28:44 - Oh, Tommy Hawk fucks him up.
28:46 Fuck this kid.
28:47 You're gonna have Tommy Hawk, Benny the Bull,
28:50 Clark the Cub, they're just gonna be
28:52 immediately these kids in a dark alley.
28:53 - Here we go.
28:55 - Boom.
28:56 - And that, like, don't go out,
28:59 don't fuck with Tommy Hawk.
29:01 - I mean, he picked him up and dropped him.
29:04 We're not talking self defense.
29:05 He was like, pfft, good for him.
29:06 - No, but that kid started it.
29:07 - Yeah, no, it was self defense.
29:09 - I could watch videos like that for hours,
29:11 where you think someone's gonna be the victim,
29:14 and then they just retell you so well.
29:17 - What do you tell your friend filming that after?
29:19 Like, hey, maybe you don't post this,
29:20 since I just got my ass whooped.
29:22 - Yeah, by a guy named--
29:23 - We'll try again next week, yeah.
29:24 - Yeah, let's go to the Bulls game next week.
29:26 - I think the kid got a lifetime ban from United Center.
29:29 - You have to, you can't attack the mascot.
29:30 - I agree.
29:32 Even though--
29:33 - What do you think it takes to get a lifetime ban
29:34 from United Center, Wrigley, Sox Park, or anywhere?
29:37 - Don't they say you just gotta run on the field,
29:39 and then you're banned forever?
29:40 - That'll do it.
29:41 What's the least you could do
29:42 to receive a lifetime ban?
29:44 - How about that?
29:44 - Kinda run it on the field.
29:45 I feel like that's a victimless crime.
29:48 - Well, I've told this story before, we almost all did.
29:51 - Like, there was someone--
29:52 - You guys almost got one?
29:53 - Oh, from Wrigley.
29:53 - The Cubs almost banned us.
29:55 - Yeah, I legit thought that I was gonna be banned
29:59 from Wrigley when that happened.
29:59 - Come on, for the snakes?
30:01 - Yeah, for the snakes.
30:01 - There was like a, less than a week period
30:04 where if you were starting a Cub snake,
30:06 and working for Barstool Chicago doesn't help either,
30:10 they were like, you're out.
30:11 - Yeah, I remember going to the game,
30:12 me and Carl went, and it was like, it was tense.
30:16 Like, it was, 'cause they had like,
30:17 said they had like all this facial recognition stuff,
30:20 like, wait, am I just gonna get bounced right away?
30:22 You know, and then like, you'd see like,
30:23 some of the ushers and everything,
30:24 and they're like, hey, like, you know,
30:27 like, you're cool, but like, they know you're here.
30:28 - That was the best.
30:29 I mean, watching that, like, as a fan watching that,
30:32 I was just dying laughing every single time.
30:34 I was like, more Cubs, more Cubs, more Cubs.
30:36 - It was crazy, now it's like, not a thing at all.
30:38 - No, I mean, the last time I was there,
30:40 I was there last, on Saturday,
30:43 there was one that was like, the entire section.
30:45 Like, all the way up, it was insane.
30:47 - The definition of can't beat 'em, join 'em.
30:49 - Yeah.
30:49 - There's no way they could stop the snakes.
30:51 I mean, dude, getting banned from Wrigley Woods.
30:53 - Oh, that'd be terrible.
30:54 - Like, you're missing out on bachelor parties.
30:56 - Oh, that'd be so bad.
30:58 - Do you think that's like, easy to,
31:00 like, can you really enforce that?
31:01 - Well, it just depends how much the owners hate you.
31:05 Or the PR people, like, in a way.
31:08 - But I think--
31:09 - I feel like you could do the Leo,
31:10 where you pull your hat down.
31:10 - Yeah, do costumes, I would do costumes, for sure.
31:12 - Yeah.
31:13 - Yeah, if you're hiding your face,
31:14 there's no way that they could keep up with it,
31:16 but I'm sure there's not enough people banned
31:19 where, like, they don't each have their own picture
31:22 in an office somewhere.
31:23 - Yeah, like, memorize 'em before the game.
31:25 - Dude, I sneaky love those.
31:27 If you go to a grocery store,
31:28 and they got the people, the pictures of the people
31:29 when you're walking out of the shoplifters.
31:32 You know what I'm talking about?
31:33 - I don't think I've seen that.
31:34 - There's a butera by my house
31:35 that's just got people walking out with, like, shit.
31:37 It's fucking unreal.
31:38 - Some bars have 'em, too.
31:40 - Oh, yeah, yeah.
31:40 - Some local bars, yeah.
31:41 - Yeah, dude, it's--
31:42 - See a couple of your friends up there.
31:43 - Yeah, dude, it's great.
31:44 You've never seen nothing like this?
31:45 - I don't think so.
31:47 - Like, do not serve this person, like, shoplifter videos?
31:50 - The wall of shame.
31:50 - Yeah, it's like basically the wall of shame.
31:52 Like, you'll, like, whether you're, like,
31:53 getting the carts, you'll just see, like,
31:55 a bunch of pictures of people, like, shoplifting.
31:57 - So it's like, as you're walking in the grocery store,
31:59 you see all these pictures?
32:00 - Yes, dude.
32:01 - I feel like we need more of that.
32:02 - Public shaming needs to be brought back.
32:03 - Dude, that's so good.
32:04 I didn't even know there was that.
32:06 I've seen, like, the watch out for this person,
32:08 but not, like, a whole--
32:10 - Yeah, you're talking like a wanted poster.
32:12 - It's like a Las Garola wall.
32:14 It's just like, she stole this, he started a fight.
32:16 - That's what it is.
32:17 That's legit what it is.
32:18 - That's tough.
32:19 Like, what if you get caught, like, you know,
32:20 actually walking out with a couple extra oranges
32:23 and your picture's just on there?
32:24 Like, you can't make it right
32:26 until your picture is already on the wall.
32:28 - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:29 Like, you have to, that's not one of those things
32:31 that goes away.
32:32 Like, you go in there and you tuck your tail
32:34 and you go, "I'm sorry, I took my picture off."
32:36 - You pull the Jason Segel from "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
32:39 rip Mila Kunis' picture of her flashing
32:41 off the bathroom wall.
32:42 You walk out all beat up.
32:43 - Can't do it, can't do it.
32:45 - Or there's just like a wall of shame
32:46 of like, asleep at the bar.
32:47 Like, the person fell asleep.
32:49 I would be on there.
32:50 I'd be like, "Oh no, please."
32:51 - Took a matte shot.
32:52 - His body got banned from the 5 a.m. bar
32:55 in our neighborhood.
32:56 - Yeah.
32:56 - For what?
32:57 - What'd he do?
32:58 - He did something pretty bad, actually.
32:59 - Oh, okay.
33:00 How's he doing?
33:01 - Yeah, he's fine.
33:02 The ban might've been lifted.
33:03 - Yeah, I've heard that.
33:05 - Sometimes you need that.
33:06 - How long was he banned?
33:07 - Oh, years.
33:08 And like, they would see him and lock the door.
33:13 - That's how?
33:14 - He like, so he got into it with a bartender
33:17 who happened to be one of the owners.
33:18 So that's never good,
33:19 'cause the bartender was getting into it with his cousin.
33:21 This was also on Christmas Day.
33:23 And I think he like--
33:24 - Maybe shouldn't be there to begin with.
33:26 - It's kind of like a tradition around the neighborhood.
33:28 And I think one thing led to another.
33:30 He kind of like, stapled his hand.
33:32 - Oh, so, assault.
33:34 - A little bit.
33:35 - Oh, wow.
33:36 - Stapled the owner's hand?
33:37 - Something like that.
33:38 Like, he in a way, like, kind of hit him
33:40 when he was pushing him off.
33:41 I don't know if it was accidental or not.
33:42 I'm sure he loves me talking about this.
33:44 But yeah, it was enough to--
33:45 - Well, the band's lifted.
33:46 Let bygones be bygones.
33:47 - Right.
33:48 - Yeah.
33:49 - But like, if you're not--
33:50 - Staple mark.
33:51 - What's worse though?
33:52 Picture on the wall, or like,
33:53 the bouncer with a face tat sees you coming
33:56 and he locks the door on you.
33:58 Like, not everyone's getting the door lock treatment.
33:59 You're getting denied once you're in, or,
34:01 but if they're watching out for you--
34:02 - The picture on the wall's bad, dude.
34:04 - It's shameful.
34:05 - Because like, there's, maybe there's chicks that you like,
34:07 or there's people like, coming in,
34:08 and they're like, oh, I saw your picture.
34:10 Like, what'd you do?
34:11 But it's also equally bad.
34:12 She's like, oh, hey, let's go to--
34:15 - And they close the door and lock it?
34:15 - No.
34:16 - And she's like, uh--
34:17 - That's so embarrassing.
34:18 - You can't go there, I'm banned.
34:20 - Kind of a bad boy then.
34:21 - Yeah.
34:22 Well, you gotta have some people
34:23 that are banned from your places.
34:25 - Yeah, there's people, I mean,
34:27 there's people who are, there's people who are banned,
34:29 but you also like--
34:30 - How do you monitor it?
34:31 - Not to say it's good for people to get super drunk,
34:33 but you know, some people just have those nights,
34:35 but mostly it's if you started a fight.
34:37 Like, we don't want anyone to fight anywhere.
34:40 So if there was a fight or a scuffle
34:42 and you know this person's a problem,
34:45 then they can't go there.
34:46 But it doesn't happen like that often.
34:48 - If someone buys a table or something at a club,
34:50 you know, say it's hundreds, maybe a thousand dollars,
34:52 and they leave no tip, is that enough for a ban?
34:55 - I think if you are spending a certain amount,
35:01 there is a gratuity that's suggested
35:04 that they say, like--
35:05 - It's a quorum.
35:06 - Yeah, it's kind of like an autograph,
35:07 and the person knows.
35:09 - I mean, dude, when's the last time you guys went to Vegas?
35:12 - Mexico. - Last February.
35:13 - Okay, did you go with like a bachelor party?
35:15 Did you guys go to buy a table or what?
35:17 - It was a Barstool event.
35:18 - Okay, so you don't know,
35:20 'cause you don't know what the tab was.
35:21 - It wasn't my card.
35:22 - Oh, okay, well, congratulations, guys.
35:24 (laughing)
35:26 I'm going broke paying Austin.
35:27 - Shout out Ryan Whitney and the Chicklets guys.
35:30 We had a good time.
35:31 - So in Vegas, when you go, or even Miami,
35:34 if you go to get a table,
35:35 there's like this service charge, plus plus,
35:38 this, this, and you just know.
35:40 And sometimes, in those places,
35:42 not all, 'cause there's some good places,
35:43 sometimes in those places,
35:44 you just never see your server again.
35:46 And you're with like 20 buddies,
35:47 and you're like, man, we just spent like $7,500,
35:49 and she dropped the ice and just left,
35:51 but 'cause they already know they're gonna get their tip.
35:55 - Fighting, does it happen more or less now?
35:58 I kind of feel like less.
35:59 - I think it's less,
36:01 because at least in Chicago, it's less,
36:04 but girl fights are eminent.
36:06 Like, they are happening.
36:08 - All time high?
36:09 - No, it happens.
36:10 In a lot of the fights,
36:12 if like in my 16 years of like working in bars,
36:15 or you know, like a lot of the fights that have happened
36:19 are sometimes it stems from females.
36:22 I'm not gonna blame females,
36:24 but I'm saying sometimes it stems from females.
36:25 - Sure.
36:26 - Yeah, we're gender equal here.
36:27 - Do you think there's less fights,
36:29 because people are more scared
36:31 that it escalates to like murder?
36:37 - No, I think, you know what, honestly,
36:40 I think it's the UFC culture.
36:41 Like the UFC culture,
36:43 'cause you never know if you're gonna get in a fight.
36:44 Like I haven't been in a fight in like 15 years,
36:46 but like it was never even a fight.
36:48 Like I think someone just like knocked me out,
36:51 'cause I was like trying to break something up,
36:52 but it's like you don't know if this guy
36:56 knows how to fight, or this guy,
36:57 or this guy's caring like you said,
37:00 but 99% of bars, hotels, restaurants,
37:03 like everyone's like checking.
37:04 - Whenever someone tries to fight me at a bar,
37:06 I just say I should warn you,
37:07 I'm a trained UFC professional,
37:09 these things are wild. - You do?
37:10 - I just say kiss me.
37:11 I just say I don't wanna fight.
37:13 - That never works for me.
37:15 - What, they kiss you?
37:16 - They kiss me, and then they still wanna fight after.
37:18 - Of course I say that,
37:19 then I'm like probably getting a fight this weekend,
37:22 but it does feel like it happened less now.
37:24 - Right?
37:25 But maybe you're also maturing,
37:26 you're getting older. - I think we've also,
37:27 yeah, I was gonna say that we've probably aged out of it.
37:28 - It's like college fights, too.
37:30 Like we're not around that.
37:31 - Do you go to a college bar?
37:32 Like you, there's-- - It's wild.
37:34 - Crack left and right.
37:36 - A college bar tour would be great.
37:37 Like just to see what's happening, it's insane.
37:40 - It's scary. - We went up to Milwaukee,
37:43 but we went at like 11 a.m. too.
37:44 - Yeah, I was a little deaf.
37:45 - But it was like, I had such a good time.
37:47 Like the boys were having a good time,
37:49 they had a wheel they were spinning,
37:51 it was just like man, like, I miss this.
37:54 - Same, but then we went to one in Arizona,
37:56 I was like one of these kids is gonna fight me
37:58 if I look at them the wrong way by accident.
37:59 - I think that's Arizona culture,
38:01 a lot of UFC guys out there, looking for trouble.
38:03 - Little kids that could beat me up.
38:04 - There is something about like you go to a college bar,
38:07 especially in the Midwest, and you look around
38:09 and for the most part, people are happy
38:11 and you think like man, this is so good.
38:13 - 'Cause everybody loves-- - Like they love this,
38:15 especially during football season,
38:16 you're like man, this is just--
38:17 - What else do you need? - There's nothing else.
38:18 - What else do you need? - There's nothing better.
38:19 - A couple of beers and some football on TV.
38:21 - And you need them to cover, but outside of that.
38:24 - Yeah, that's true.
38:25 Arizona, you go down there much?
38:28 - Nah, we went to, I went to Scottsdale a few times
38:30 during like the COVID where what are you gonna do?
38:33 'Cause I couldn't do comedy, everything was closed.
38:35 So I would just go hang out with friends
38:37 who like live there and that was fun.
38:39 But it's all, the Arizona bars to me
38:40 is always kind of the same thing.
38:42 Like it's-- - It's a little much.
38:45 - Yeah, it's like a, you think it's a sports bar,
38:47 then all of a sudden there's lights everywhere,
38:49 everyone has bottles and everyone's on each other's shoulders
38:52 and I'm just like, is there a dive anywhere?
38:54 - Yeah, it's hard to find dives out there.
38:56 - Yeah. - Yeah.
38:57 - Even the dives are overrun.
38:59 - Yeah. - Like we went to that
39:00 Patty's place, which was awesome,
39:02 and it was still pretty-- - Oh, it was too--
39:03 - In Scottsdale, right? - Yeah.
39:04 - Yeah, I've been there, I love that place.
39:05 - Yeah, great spot. - It was a great bar
39:07 if it was 50% less people. - Yeah, it's overrun with like--
39:10 - It's like a dive that became cool
39:12 and it's just like totally packed.
39:13 - Yeah, is there a place like that in Chicago?
39:15 - A dive that's become cool? - Yeah.
39:17 - Boss Bar was like that for a long time.
39:19 - Really? - Yeah.
39:20 And what was the 4 a.m. bar where,
39:23 next to Studio 3 on Clark?
39:25 - Clark and what?
39:27 - It's, what was it?
39:32 I'm drawing a total blank, man.
39:33 Shoot, but that Walgreens on Clark and River North, right?
39:36 Like kiddie corner from the Carry Man.
39:38 - Oh, oh, down there.
39:41 Ah, shit, I know what you're talking about.
39:42 - Yeah, that was a 4 a.m. bar that was like cool,
39:44 that like you thought was not divey,
39:46 but it was like a cool bar too.
39:48 - So Boss Bar is divey and it's like cool now,
39:50 or you're saying? - No, I mean,
39:51 well, they doubled their size.
39:52 I mean, yeah, I'm a fan, but what I'm saying is like,
39:56 2010, '11, '12, '13, like it was just packed,
40:01 jammed with people who like didn't wanna go
40:03 to the 4 a.m. nightclub and they just wanna like have fun.
40:06 - Hang out there, yeah. - Yeah.
40:07 - That's true. - Clover's pretty busy too.
40:10 - That's by La Escarola? - Yeah.
40:13 - And that was at one point considered a dive,
40:15 like after college, like--
40:17 - It's like the darts place.
40:18 - Yeah. - Yeah.
40:18 - Dude, it's a shame that Emmett's place closed.
40:20 - Oh yeah.
40:21 - That's a good example of that too.
40:23 That was, you had the upstairs
40:25 where it'd be like 1,000 degrees.
40:26 - Yeah, but also like iconic scene in Ocean's 11, you know?
40:29 - Yeah, well, actually, that's a movie I've never seen.
40:31 - Oh, really? - Yeah.
40:32 - Like Matt Damon's in Emmett's.
40:34 - Oh, I never knew that. - It's crazy.
40:35 - Yeah, that is, well, that makes it even more.
40:37 - Why didn't you buy it, Peter?
40:38 You could've saved it.
40:39 - Yeah, why didn't you buy Emmett's?
40:41 - I don't know, I didn't know it was for sale.
40:43 - Damn it, Peter. - My mom didn't put
40:43 enough money in my account. - Buy it.
40:46 - Buy Emmett's next time. - Wait, Chief,
40:47 what was the bar that we went to
40:48 after the hockey game five years ago?
40:50 It was a dive bar and it was awesome.
40:52 Were they like the thing on fire?
40:54 - Inner Town Pub. - Inner Town Pub.
40:55 - That's still there, right? - Oh, yeah.
40:56 So they got closed down for a while
40:58 'cause they found a little raw sewage.
41:01 But they cleaned that up. - I mean, come on, just relax.
41:03 - Yeah, they cleaned-- - Just a little.
41:04 - It's a city's fault. - They cleaned it up.
41:06 I was actually there maybe two weeks ago, three weeks ago.
41:10 It's in Ukrainian Village.
41:11 It's like your typical corner bar.
41:13 - Yeah. - And we were,
41:15 it was snowing, I had brought the dog.
41:16 - Yeah. - Remember,
41:17 George was like a puppy and me, Dave, and Bader,
41:20 and George hung out in Inner Town Pub there
41:22 in a snowstorm for hours.
41:24 - Yeah, we had the Hawks game over covered
41:26 and then we went there.
41:27 It was awesome. - It was great, yeah.
41:28 And it was like a noon start for the Hawks.
41:30 Yeah, so we just spent all Saturday afternoon,
41:33 evening in Inner Town Pub.
41:34 It's a great little bar with like,
41:36 if you go, call it like the,
41:38 it's like the pub for the arts or something like that.
41:42 It's great people watching.
41:43 If you go at night, they got some,
41:47 that's one of my favorite spots is Inner Town Pub.
41:49 Yeah.
41:50 There's another great little dive over there.
41:52 Phyllis's, you know that place?
41:54 - I don't. - It's on Division.
41:55 They do like, yeah, great.
41:58 Wicker Park, I feel like, has a bunch of those.
42:00 - Just Chicago in general.
42:01 - Chicago in general too. - Great dive bar.
42:02 - Yeah, well, we were talking about Lang's the other day.
42:04 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, Lang's is a good one.
42:06 There's a lot of, Chicago's got great dives.
42:08 - A bunch. - Yeah.
42:10 - Do you have a favorite dive, Danny?
42:12 You're more of like a no-boo type guy.
42:16 - Yeah, exactly. - Yes.
42:18 - No, but like, we're-- - It's been lately.
42:20 - We're-- - Wow, Danny.
42:21 - I feel like we're blurring the lines.
42:23 I don't think Emmett's was necessarily a dive.
42:25 - Bro. - I think it was a little,
42:26 I think it was nicer than a dive.
42:28 - I mean, it was like your Irish pub dive, you know,
42:31 but I mean, its floors are pretty sticky in there.
42:35 That's a good indicator that's a dive, I feel like.
42:37 - Fair.
42:38 It's too hard for me to pick a favorite right now.
42:40 Can I get back to you?
42:40 I'm still exploring. - Yeah, well, you text me later.
42:41 - I was thinking about blogging this, actually.
42:43 - The dive bar's in Chicago? - Dives?
42:45 - My like top 10 dives are Chicago.
42:46 - That was like, I would just,
42:48 the problem is it would be impossible to make a true list
42:51 because there's so many. - There's so many.
42:53 - Oh, mine.
42:54 - Your favorite. - Yeah, yeah.
42:56 - Because I was going, I was on a run there.
42:58 I was hitting like every one on Milwaukee.
43:00 - Okay. - And like more towards
43:01 the Northwest side, obviously.
43:02 And I would just like post it on Instagram, you know.
43:05 But it was-- - Yeah, you were doing that.
43:06 It was like two months ago.
43:07 - Yeah, I think I'm doing it again this weekend.
43:09 But there was like, it's so hard.
43:11 It's like, there's just-- - Yeah.
43:13 - But it also has to, 'cause if a dive is,
43:15 so when a dive gets cool, it means that a dive is too busy.
43:18 - Yeah. - I mean, obviously,
43:19 you want them to do okay.
43:21 But like if a dive gets cool, it's just too busy.
43:23 So it has to be a level of what's,
43:26 is it half the capacity at all times?
43:27 'Cause if it ever gets too busy,
43:29 you're no longer a dive, right?
43:30 - Would you say Cody's is a dive?
43:32 - No. - No.
43:33 - No. - I kind of have one.
43:35 It's a hybrid though.
43:38 It's like a dive German bar, Reese's on Irving.
43:40 - Never been there. - Never been.
43:41 - It's a dive-- - Will you take me
43:42 sometime after Nobu?
43:43 - Possibly, yeah.
43:44 Yeah, Nobu, Reese's, then Nobu.
43:46 - On the way, you can stop for one.
43:47 - You'll be the best first.
43:48 - Yeah. - That's it.
43:50 - One Hawker Shore. - Yes.
43:51 - And then we're eating sushi.
43:52 - Four Trays in Roscoe Village is awesome.
43:54 - Yeah, that's a great one. - Yeah.
43:55 - Awesome. - Yeah, Four Trays is.
43:56 We used to do stand up there.
43:58 - Really? - Yeah.
43:59 It was like eight years ago.
44:00 There was a mic on Tuesdays at Four Trays.
44:02 My mic was at Merkle's and then we'd go to Four Trays.
44:05 - That's pretty sick. - Merkle's.
44:06 Merkle's is like the narrowest bar in America.
44:09 - Oh, we were in the back room, dude.
44:11 So it's like-- - It's just a hallway.
44:12 - One fourth the size of this studio.
44:14 - Yeah, it is just a hallway.
44:16 - Yeah. - You're just standing
44:17 at the end of the hallway with the mic.
44:18 - Yeah. - Yeah.
44:19 (laughing)
44:20 - But people are going to the bathroom right before you.
44:22 - You gotta give a shout out to J&M.
44:24 I don't know, Gus doesn't love it.
44:26 I basically grew up there at a bunch of family parties there.
44:28 They don't have a sign.
44:29 Like how do those places make money?
44:31 Like is it, like what's the--
44:33 - I don't know.
44:34 'Cause I used to walk, that's where I used to live.
44:36 - Yeah. - And I used to walk by there
44:37 all the time and it felt like
44:39 there was always people in there.
44:40 - Oh yeah, no. - Yeah.
44:41 - They definitely, they're a bad example
44:43 'cause they definitely get a crowd.
44:44 But some of them who, like you said,
44:46 that don't draw a crowd.
44:47 How do they make it better?
44:48 - I think they don't. - The Har-Hig.
44:50 - I remember reading an article that was
44:53 DNA info or whatever that,
44:57 I think that's like-- - RIP.
44:58 - RIP. - Probably.
44:59 - But I think it was in that.
45:00 And they said that Chicago has like
45:04 81% less corner bars
45:08 than they did in 1995.
45:11 Like they're just kind of those like places,
45:13 like inner town pub I would call like,
45:16 like that's like a divy neighborhood.
45:18 - Well it's taverns, right?
45:19 Taverns don't have a food license.
45:21 It's just straight up booze. - Right, yeah.
45:23 - But also a lot of those places,
45:24 if they've been around over 20 years,
45:26 it was like maybe it was an Italian family,
45:29 an Irish family, a Polish family,
45:31 or just somebody who'd been around forever,
45:33 like 34 years and they owned the land.
45:35 So they owned the property.
45:36 So they had it, so they survived
45:39 'cause they got it at a good price
45:41 and they kind of just hung in there.
45:42 And some of those people probably sold to developers
45:45 or you see your favorite dive
45:46 become an apartment building. - It's like Happy Village.
45:48 - And they're like, we're done.
45:49 We cash out.
45:51 Kids don't wanna do it.
45:51 - Yeah, Happy Village was like that.
45:53 That was on Thomas Street too,
45:55 like a little bit further east from Inner Town Pub.
46:00 It was the worst dive on the inside
46:02 and then you walk through and it was like a garden party.
46:04 It was like someone,
46:05 it felt like you were in somebody's backyard.
46:07 They had big wooden picnic tables
46:08 and just like no bar, but like just big like buckets,
46:12 like Tupperware buckets of beer cans
46:13 that you would just reach in and pay.
46:14 Like they had like cash only.
46:17 It was a great spot.
46:19 The original owner,
46:20 I think they were coming up on like their 50th anniversary.
46:22 They sold the building.
46:24 Then COVID happened and the developer decided,
46:27 I don't wanna do this.
46:28 Still sitting on it 'cause then the neighborhood
46:30 wouldn't let like the new person have
46:32 like the liquor license at the same,
46:33 something like that, Dante was complaining to me.
46:35 It was the best spot and it's gonna be closed forever,
46:38 which is a shame.
46:39 - Man, it's a shame.
46:40 - Was Wells and Wells considered a dive?
46:42 - I never been.
46:44 - I remember that bar, but I'm trying to,
46:46 I remember the name of the bar rather.
46:48 - We used to go there after Second City
46:49 and that was like 11, 12 years ago,
46:52 but Old Town got so hot that it just started to get so busy.
46:55 So after that, it's just like, it's just not a dive.
46:57 - Yeah, all those.
46:59 - It's crazy how hot Old Town is.
47:01 - Old Town is like what,
47:03 it's like all young guys now too.
47:05 It's all like kids. - Yeah, all the stoolies.
47:06 - Yeah.
47:07 - It's basically Wrigley now.
47:08 - Yeah. - Yeah.
47:09 - Yeah.
47:10 - It wasn't for like a few years
47:11 and stuff was kind of spread out
47:13 and then Old Town has made a huge resurgence
47:15 and I think it's 'cause of COVID.
47:17 A lot of people wanna stay just in their neighborhood.
47:19 So neighborhoods kind of make a comeback.
47:21 I think next is you'll see Lincoln Avenue, Armitage.
47:24 - Yeah, I would love that.
47:25 - You'll see new places and people are just gonna be
47:26 hanging there and be like,
47:27 "We don't need to go to the West,
47:28 "we can't afford $18 drinks."
47:30 - Tripoli Tap is a good dive over on Armitage.
47:32 - Yeah.
47:34 - But what was I gonna say about that, about that Old Town?
47:36 I think it was when Happy Camper came in,
47:38 is when I feel like that became,
47:39 that was like the first Instagram spot in Old Town.
47:43 - Yeah, now Utopian Tailgates over there.
47:45 There's some great places there.
47:46 - And it just turned over into the young people.
47:49 - It's definitely what it is
47:50 'cause if there was all those bars existing
47:52 on the same stretch close to you,
47:53 why would it not be popular?
47:55 You know?
47:56 - Yeah.
47:57 - I don't know.
47:58 It's crazy though.
47:59 People are waiting in long lines to get in the store.
48:01 - I mean, it's hard to get into Declan's a lot of times now.
48:04 - Yeah.
48:05 - We can't, love that.
48:06 - Our guy Dante might have increased the popularity
48:09 in Old Town by adding his bar up for it.
48:12 - Yeah, definitely one of those places.
48:13 - Yeah.
48:14 - The King of Wall Street.
48:16 The Wolf of Wall Street.
48:17 - Wolf of Wall Street.
48:18 - I like that.
48:19 (laughing)
48:20 - We should crown one every year.
48:21 - Yeah.
48:22 - There's some out there for sure.
48:24 All right, this was fun.
48:27 Bader, thank you for coming in.
48:29 - Thank you for having me.
48:29 - Where can people get tickets?
48:31 How can people come to the show?
48:32 - If you go to the Zany's Chicago website,
48:35 I'm gonna be in Old Town.
48:37 So there's Rosemont, Old Town,
48:40 Old Town on August 1st, August 2nd.
48:43 You can find me at Chris Bader Comedy,
48:46 Chris Bader Comedy on YouTube as well.
48:50 But please help guys, my Twitter got hacked.
48:53 It's been bugged for three years.
48:55 Elon Musk doesn't care about me.
48:57 And I had to change my Twitter handle to the Chris Bader.
49:00 - Oh.
49:01 - So now I have a whole new Twitter
49:03 and I think my mom follows me and two of my cousins.
49:06 - Oh no shit.
49:06 - But yes, Zany's Old Town please.
49:09 - The Chris Bader.
49:10 - Go check it out.
49:11 - The Chris Bader, yeah.
49:12 - Thank you Bader. - Check me out, thank you.
49:13 - Appreciate it. - Thank you guys.
49:14 - Thank you Chris.
49:15 - Thanks everybody for listening.
49:16 Fun show tomorrow, tune in.
49:17 Sixth Avenue Square Program Director Mitch Rosen is on.
49:20 So good conversation there.
49:22 We'll see you there and yeah, thanks again.
49:24 (whooshing)
49:27 [WHOOSH]
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