Skip to playerSkip to main content
  • 3 days ago

Category

🎈
Fun
Transcript
00:08shut up
00:10you better shut up or I'll come out there after you
00:13I swear to god I'll kill every one of you
00:14Ricky would you shut up
00:16go to sleep
00:19well I've been out of jail for a week now
00:21and it's time for me to make some important decisions in my life
00:24I'm going to go to community college
00:27please stop praying
00:28I'm going to sleep here
00:29I'm either going to become an electrician
00:31a meat cutter
00:32or I'm going to get into television and radio broadcasting
00:35stop fucking barking
00:39Ricky what are you shooting at
00:40screw the fuck up
00:41squirrels and dogs and eyeballs
00:43Ricky
00:45hold your phone
00:48what are you doing
00:50listen listen
00:53asshole
00:55what are you doing
00:57you're trying to get some sleep
00:58do you want to go back to jail
00:59do you want to go back to jail
01:01listen to this stuff
01:02get in the car
01:03get in the car
01:07get in the car
01:07get in there
01:11shut the fuck up out there
01:13Ricky
01:15what are you doing
01:16I'm so lost
01:16Ricky
01:17listen
01:18give me that gun
01:21you don't know what it's like living in a car
01:22you only got insects and animals
01:24what are you trying to deal with when you live in a car
01:26go to sleep
01:26go to sleep
01:27you know what
01:27you're moving out of here tomorrow
01:29why
01:30because you're trying to mean nuts
01:31you're shooting guns off in the middle of the night
01:33it's not a big deal to me
01:34think Ricky
01:35think
01:35I can't sleep is the problem
01:37go to sleep
01:39can I have the gun back in case anything happens
01:41no more of that shit
01:42I won't fire it unless I absolutely have to
01:44you're not going to fire it at all
01:47go to sleep
01:52shut up
01:53shut up
01:55shut up
01:56Ricky
01:57get that thing away
02:24meow
02:30meow
02:30meow
02:31meow
02:31meow
02:52I want my kitty.
02:53Frig off, Bubbles, you gave me the cat.
02:55I didn't say you could keep him, and I don't want him living in a fucking car.
02:59Bubbles, you've got tons of cats, let me keep him.
03:01He was a loner. I loaned him to you.
03:04Well, I need him. Look at my weed plants. One of them's dead.
03:07I don't give a flying fuck.
03:09I never said you could keep him.
03:11What the hell are you doing to wake me up so early?
03:12No cat of mine's going to live in a car.
03:14Julian?
03:14Both of you guys, shut up.
03:16Ricky won't give me my kitty.
03:17Ricky, give him his cat.
03:19It's my cat now.
03:19I don't care. Give him his cat.
03:21Look, see that?
03:23You know why that plant's dead?
03:24Because a squirrel peed in it.
03:25That's why I need the cat.
03:27It protects my weed plants.
03:29I've got four plants left, guys.
03:30It's all I've got left in my life.
03:32Please, let me have one cat to protect my plants.
03:34Here's what I know, Ricky.
03:36If you love something, let it go.
03:38If it comes back to you, you own it.
03:39If it doesn't, you don't own it.
03:41And if it doesn't, you're an asshole.
03:43Just like you.
03:44Stay in the car.
03:45Bubbles, take your cat.
03:46Get out of here.
03:47Ricky, you stay in the car.
03:48Let me out of this car right now.
03:51Ricky, calm down.
03:52You fucking want me out of here.
03:53I want that cat back.
03:55I need them.
03:56Bubbles, get out of here.
04:00Calm down, Ricky.
04:01You just got woken up in the middle of a great dream,
04:04and I'm pissed off.
04:05Next message.
04:07Julian.
04:08Mr. Leahy here.
04:11Wanted to talk to you about a couple things.
04:13Some gunshots, reprobate living in the car in front of your trailer,
04:17and oil leaking from said car.
04:20I'll come by and see you real soon, Julian.
04:23All the best.
04:26Next message.
04:29Julian, I need to talk to you,
04:30and Trinity needs to see you.
04:32Why don't you return my call?
04:33Can't you at least do that?
04:34Hey?
04:35I'm coming over there.
04:36We need to talk,
04:37and today's subject is responsibility.
04:40Julian!
04:41Call me back.
04:43End of message.
04:44Oh, I knew Julian way before I knew Ricky.
04:46I met Julian when I was like 16 or 17 or whatever,
04:50but that was a long time ago.
04:52But, you know, he's someone I can depend on.
04:54Like, I can turn to for help.
04:55Like, who else would I ask?
04:56Ricky?
04:57No way, man.
04:58He lives in a car?
05:00Fuck.
05:00Whatever.
05:01He's not even growing any dope anymore.
05:03Why would I be interested in having him help me for anything?
05:05Yeah, I mean, Lucy broke up again, and it sucks,
05:08and, you know, I'm not real happy about it,
05:09but it's one of those things, I guess.
05:11Hopefully, she'll come around.
05:13Bubbles, get off my property.
05:15And hopefully, she'll take me back, you know?
05:17Until then, I'm perfectly happy living right here in this car,
05:19and hopefully, she'll come around soon, I guess.
05:21Bubbles, freak off and get off my property.
05:26You fucking want one?
05:27I was at a party a long time ago at Ricky's house,
05:30and I think Lucy was about 18 or something.
05:33I met Julian at a party when I was like 17 or whatever,
05:35and I mean, that was a long time ago,
05:38and, you know, nothing really happened.
05:42Anyway, we got really drunk and ate a shitload of mushrooms,
05:45and I experienced memory loss
05:48and woke up and she was naked in bed with me.
05:51I don't think anything happened,
05:52but I don't know, I just got out of there.
05:55Oh, fuck.
05:57What?
05:58What's up, dude?
05:59What do you want?
06:02You got any dope, man?
06:04You guys ever consider going back to school?
06:08And now it's not cool for us to come around and buy dope
06:10because of the camera crew.
06:12Yeah, man, Julian acts all crazy now.
06:14The camera's in his face and everything,
06:16and it's not to diss you guys or anything,
06:18but he gets all stressed out,
06:19and it's like he can't handle it.
06:20You know what I mean?
06:21He yells at us and everything.
06:25Bubbles, just a second, please.
06:26Lucy, what are you doing here?
06:29I'm leaving Trinity with Julian.
06:31I need a little vacation.
06:33What about a father?
06:34I can't take care of my own daughter.
06:37Great, Trinity, why don't you get your stuff
06:39and go stay in the car with Daddy?
06:41Perfect.
06:42What, the backseat of the car
06:42is not good enough for you now?
06:45He's living in a fucking car.
06:46It's not a place where you have a child,
06:48and so, yeah, of course I take her to stay with Julian.
06:51I mean, Julian at least has a fucking place to live
06:53at his own place, and, you know,
06:55his cats live outside, you know what I mean?
06:58You just know that, Ricky.
07:00I'm sorry, Bubbles attacked me.
07:01You do, Ricky.
07:08Julian, it's Jim Leahy.
07:10Open the door up.
07:11We've got a little matter to discuss about last night.
07:14Julian, open the door up.
07:15Julian, open the door up now.
07:17Don't open the door.
07:18Open the door, mister.
07:19For good.
07:20Move.
07:21This is official for you.
07:23Julian, open up.
07:26Julian, what are you doing?
07:37Everybody shut up!
07:39You think I need this?
07:41Huh?
07:42I'm leaving it.
07:42I'm out of here.
07:43I'm out of this trailer park.
07:44Get off my lawn!
07:45Get off my lawn!
07:49Randy?
07:50Nice.
07:51I can use some reinforcements here.
07:54Clear out of here, Bubbles.
07:57Fuck yourself.
07:59Fuck yourself.
08:12You know, ever since you guys have been around with your TV cameras, Julian's changed.
08:18You know, he's getting all frustrated, and he's taking his problems out on me and other people in the park.
08:23It's crazy.
08:24He lives in there in a palace, and he's all stressed out.
08:26I mean, I live out here in a car, and I've got everything I need, and I'm happy.
08:29I mean, this is my home.
08:31So I don't know what his problem is.
08:35Ungrateful.
08:36Ricky is ungrateful.
08:39He's been driving me nuts living in that car, and I just can't wait to get the hell out of
08:42this park
08:43and finally do something productive with my life.
08:45I'll be down at your barren!
08:55Hey, Julian, how's it going, buddy?
08:56I'm not doing too good, Ricky.
08:58I've got some bad news to tell you.
09:00What?
09:00I'm moving.
09:02Consider this year one week's written notice.
09:04What do you mean you're moving?
09:05You leave him in the park.
09:06I'm moving.
09:07I'm serious.
09:08No, take it easy.
09:09Take it easy, man.
09:09You're just having a bad day.
09:11Ricky, I'm serious.
09:12I want you out of my car and off my lawn.
09:13You've got one week.
09:23If Julian thinks he's leaving this park without Ricky, he's got another thing coming.
09:29Like, you know, I can't get away from everybody.
09:31It's like, Julian, I need this.
09:33Julian, I need that.
09:34Julian, can I live in your car?
09:36Julian, I need some vodka.
09:38I'm sick of it.
09:39What's going on, buddy?
09:40Hey.
09:40Hey, guys.
09:41Want to have a couple drinks?
09:42Actually, Ricky, I don't feel like talking to anybody right now, all right?
09:44Come on, man.
09:45Let's get wasted.
09:46What do you want?
09:48You still planning to leave the park?
09:49Yeah.
09:50You guys want a drink?
09:51I'm just pouring some drinks here if you want one.
09:54A couple things I think you should know about before you do.
09:56What's that, lady?
09:57Well, first, you got a 24-month lease signed up with Sunnyvale Trailer Park.
10:02Number two, you got a derelict piece of shit out front that's leaking oil all over the
10:07grass and it's going to require an environmental soil test, which you're liable for.
10:11Number three, you owe me $1,600 for outstanding sight fees for when you were in jail.
10:19Number four, you try to leave here...
10:21Number one, you can fuck off.
10:23Number two, you can fuck off.
10:24Watch your language, Ricky.
10:24Thank you very much, Rick.
10:26You're just a one-note pony, aren't you?
10:29Why don't you mind your business and I'll tell the cops you're breaching probation.
10:32Every time you turn around, you put your fucking foot in your mouth.
10:35You guys, we had a couple 18 months here at peace in this trailer park.
10:39You're back here for a day, and what do we got?
10:42Bullshit!
10:43Whose fault is that?
10:44It's your fault!
10:46You're not leaving here without that guy.
10:49I'd love to see you leave this park, but you're not leaving here without that guy.
10:55What are you doing?
10:56I'm getting a soil sample to test for oil contamination.
10:59Get the fuck off my property.
11:01Off my property.
11:01Hey, Ricky, do you want me to ask my friends down at the police station if it's okay for
11:05you to be drunk in a public place and carrying a loaded handgun while you're on probation?
11:09Why don't you start doing your job instead of making false incriminations all the time?
11:13Once you get a life, Rick.
11:15Once you go to community college like Julian here.
11:17Hey, I got a good idea.
11:19You could teach living in a car and growing dope 101.
11:24And you could teach how to get drunk, get fired from the police force, become a lousy trailer
11:28park supervisor that sucks, hangs around with a fucking idiot, doesn't wear a shirt, and
11:32looks like a dick, thinks he looks good, 101.
11:34Get the car off the property, or I'm going to order a really expensive soil contamination
11:39test.
11:39You got that?
11:40Leahy, get off my lawn.
11:44You guys got nothing better to do, you fucking idiots?
11:50Look, I know you're stressed out, but don't worry about it, because here's what's going
11:53to happen.
11:53We're going to get drunk and eat chicken fingers, me, you, and the old man.
11:56It's going to be here in about 20 minutes.
11:57Ricky, life isn't about getting drunk and eating chicken fingers all the time, all right?
12:03Leahy's right.
12:05Leahy's right?
12:05Why don't you try doing something with your life for once, instead of living in this
12:08car like a drunken idiot, eating chicken fingers, getting drunk?
12:13You think you're so smart because of your dumb book learning, Julian.
12:16Well, you're not that smart.
12:17I know what's going on.
12:17You're just showing off on frigging TV again.
12:20Hey, look at me.
12:21I'm Julian, the big smart guy.
12:23I'm warning you, Ricky.
12:24No blues music, no Ray on my frigging lawn drunk, and no chicken fingers.
12:30Don't test me.
12:37I gotta tell you a story about a chick I know, what the hell did I call Joe?
12:43Well, all the cats around our town call a B-I-B-D-B-O.
12:47Shit.
12:58What are you doing, Julian?
12:59The chicken fingers aren't even cooked.
13:01Want to get sarsaparilla or something, you dick?
13:04Julian, I'm trying to cook some lunch here for me.
13:06Get out of my way.
13:09Hey, what are you doing with the tunes, Julian?
13:11Get off my property, Ray.
13:12Well, I went all the way down. Hey, how was he, man?
13:14No, no, forget it, Ricky. If he doesn't want me here,
13:16I'm going, man. I might want it here.
13:18It's my property. No, forget it. Come on down to my house.
13:21I've got lots of chicken figures down there, man.
13:22This is my car, this is my property,
13:24and this is my toaster.
13:26I want you out of here.
13:30I can't believe you just did that. Those are the good kind. Eight bucks.
13:32I'm not joking, Ricky.
13:34Yeah, well, you forgot about something.
13:35You gave me one week's notice, so this is my property
13:37for the next week, not yours.
13:39I don't care, Ricky. Off my property.
13:41This is my property.
13:44You're being a dick.
13:45You can go to college and get your little PFD
13:47or whatever the fuck it's called. I don't care.
13:48You know what? You're no better than me.
13:51Even though you think you are.
13:52Don't lecture me, Ricky.
13:55Don't what?
13:58You don't know what lecture means, do you?
14:00I know what lecture means, do you?
14:01What does it mean then?
14:05It means that, uh...
14:07It means that what?
14:08You get into the situation and...
14:09What situation?
14:13You know I didn't get my grade 10, you asshole.
14:15That's a low blow, Julian.
14:18You know what? Fuck you and fuck your car
14:20and fuck your lawn. I'm going to my dad's
14:21to get drunk. You just lost a friend.
14:24Hope you're happy.
14:26Ricky.
14:27Ricky has relied on Julian
14:29to help him figure out, like,
14:31lots of different kinds of things for a long time.
14:32Yeah, like since junior high and shit.
14:34Huh. You know, and remember Ricky dropped out at junior high
14:37because Julian stopped helping him.
14:40Ricky, when he's stressed,
14:42he uses alcohol.
14:44He gets totally intoxicated
14:46and we'll find him laying down in the middle of the street here.
14:49You know, driving along, there he is.
14:50We're always getting complaints about Ricky
14:52and it happens at least once a week.
14:56And you can't be doing that.
14:57Not in this park.
14:58Ricky, wake up.
15:00Come on, man. It's me.
15:02Rick.
15:04Rick.
15:07What the fuck are you doing here, man?
15:11You got the fucking camera with you, you dick.
15:13Listen, Rick.
15:14We've been friends our whole lives, man.
15:17This is ridiculous.
15:19Do you understand what I'm saying?
15:22No, Julian, that's a problem.
15:24You know, understanding things
15:25is one of the things I have trouble with.
15:27That's why I'm gonna miss you so much when you move, buddy.
15:31You're the one that helps me understand things.
15:33You make things clearer in my head
15:36so that everything comes together
15:37and it just makes sense to me.
15:40I'm stupid. You know that.
15:41You know, Ricky really does think he's stupid, though.
15:43That's why he relies on Julian so much.
15:45We used to go out and he'd always talk about how stupid he was
15:47and how he couldn't do anything about that
15:49because he was too stupid to do anything about it.
15:51Poor guy.
15:52You're not stupid, Ricky.
15:56It's okay, Julian.
15:57I know I'm stupid.
15:59I don't know anything.
16:01It's not even like Julian's that much smarter than Ricky.
16:04He's kinda like, what is it, like, codependent or whatever?
16:07Totally codependent.
16:08Codependent.
16:09Totally.
16:11Well, you know lots about car parts and stuff, Ricky.
16:15That's why I'm here.
16:16I need your help, buddy.
16:17I gotta get that car off the front yard.
16:20I need to steal some parts
16:21and I don't know what parts fit what.
16:23You do.
16:25That's what makes you smart, man.
16:30I don't know, man.
16:30It's gonna take a lot of parts to get that fucking car off the lawn.
16:39What are you talking about?
16:41It's perfect.
16:43Got it?
16:44Yep.
16:45This is gonna work out fine.
16:48Just stay calm, Julian.
16:49I'll take care of it.
16:50Just don't say anything.
16:55How's it going, guys?
16:57Filming a little documentary here for Life Network.
16:59It's kinda like cops are from the criminals.
17:01Hold it.
17:05Put that down.
17:06Guys, this is a $700 exhaust system.
17:08Put that down.
17:09Put it down.
17:10Easy there, Meg, the PI.
17:13You get against the tailgate right now.
17:14What's your name?
17:16My name's Corey.
17:17Sir?
17:18Your name?
17:18That's Trevor.
17:19He can tell me that.
17:20Turn around, Trevor.
17:21Can you see your hand slowly?
17:23We got a call about some fellas out here stealing car parts.
17:27Yeah, we're the ones that called you guys.
17:29Got open liquor here?
17:30No, no, no.
17:30Call it in, Frank.
17:31Chachi, look.
17:32You don't have to call us in.
17:33Look, we're just doing...
17:34It's Officer Poole, not Chachi.
17:36Sir?
17:37We're just doing a TV show.
17:38Stay back against the tailgate, sir.
17:41He's got this God-given way of sort of throwing the cops like a smoke bomb so they can never
17:46sort of figure out what's going on.
17:48It's like they're stupid with him.
17:49Like they just get sidetracked on something else.
17:51Totally different.
17:51They come in, try and arrest them, and the next thing they know they're headed somewhere else doing something completely
17:55different.
17:56Guys, we're on live TV here.
17:57I just want you to remember that, okay?
17:58This is part of your monthly evaluation.
18:00I didn't want to tell you.
18:01We're not supposed to tell you, but...
18:02Stay right there.
18:03That's why the camera's here, guys.
18:07That's why the TV's here.
18:11Frank!
18:13Frank, come on back here.
18:16I think they got us again.
18:18He's almost like a superhero when it comes to dealing with cops, you know?
18:21He's got this whole thing he does.
18:22He's so great, and he always gets away with shit.
18:24Almost.
18:25Well, almost always, I guess.
18:26Nice meeting you.
18:27Yeah.
18:28Sorry, fellas.
18:29Nice meeting you.
18:30Thanks, Corey.
18:31Good job, guys.
18:31Just try and have a good day.
18:32No problem.
18:33We'll be sending a copy of the tape to your department head probably next week.
18:36Thanks, guys.
18:38Guys?
18:39You have a good day.
18:40You too.
18:43Spare!
18:43I'm free, baby!
18:44I'm free now!
18:45I'm free, baby!
18:47Joey, shut her down.
18:49You are the man.
18:50You are the man.
18:52Yes.
18:52Thanks, man.
18:53How much do you owe you?
18:54It's free.
18:55What?
18:55Hey, it's a going away gift.
18:57Word up.
18:57On the house.
18:58Peace.
19:00Peace out, boys.
19:00Peace out.
19:01Good luck, sucka!
19:03Ricky.
19:05Here you go, buddy.
19:07What?
19:07She's all yours.
19:08What are you talking about?
19:09She's all yours.
19:10You're giving me your car.
19:11Yep.
19:12Man, I love you.
19:14Oh, man.
19:14Easy, easy, Rick.
19:15You spilled my drink.
19:16I love you, man.
19:17Do you know what this is going to mean to Lucy?
19:19Yeah.
19:19I've got a car now.
19:27What are you doing here?
19:30Just thought I'd stop by and show you guys my new ride.
19:34Is this yours?
19:35Oh, yeah.
19:36100%.
19:37Wow.
19:38Guess what else?
19:39What?
19:39I'm going to have my dope operation up and running next week.
19:41Same as it was before I went to jail.
19:45So you're going to take us for a little ride?
19:47Hop in.
19:48Here.
19:53Uh, this is wicked.
19:55Put your seatbelt on, Trinity.
20:09No offense, guys, but I'd let you alone with my family right now.
20:16Fuck!
20:27Next message.
20:29Hey Julian, it's Ricky.
20:31Look, I just wanted to call and thank you for that car again, man.
20:33Because of you, me and Lucy, you're back in love again, and that's fucking awesome.
20:37And the other thing I want to talk to you about is this community college bullshit.
20:41I'm just kind of hoping you're not going to leave to go do your book learning and stuff,
20:45because we need you here, buddy.
20:47So listen, I'm planning on getting drunk tonight.
20:49Really, really drunk.
20:50And I'm probably going to go buy some more chicken fingers.
20:53So if you want to hook up, I'd love to get drunk with you.
20:55Give me a call.
20:56Lucy said I can go out tonight.
21:01Julian.
21:04Hey, buddy.
21:05Mr. Lee and I just talked to you just for a couple minutes, please.
21:08What do you want to talk about?
21:09We just want to talk, Julian.
21:11First.
21:12Julian, uh, a lot of things to consider here.
21:16We got, uh, got a couple incidents going down here with guns shooting off in the trailer park.
21:22A lot of people not getting a lot of sleep here.
21:25We're willing to waive your trailer site rental fees.
21:30Sixteen hundred dollars.
21:32If you'll, uh, consider not leaving this park and leaving us alone here with Ricky.
21:38Ricky's back with Lucy, okay?
21:42So you want to clean the slate, do you?
21:44You want to clean the slate?
21:46Well, maybe send him over to my place once a week to do a little maintenance work,
21:50cleaning up a bit of garbage around the yard.
21:53How's that?
21:55You'll stay?
21:56I'll stay.
22:00Yeah?
22:02Yeah.
22:03I'll stay.
22:09Keep your nose clean, eh?
22:14Right on.
22:17I'm really glad you're staying, Julian.
22:19Go on, Randy.
22:40I'm really glad you're staying, Julian.
22:45Go on, Randy.
23:04Welcome to the vlog.
23:04Next year is your cat磅.
23:05Stop keeping his wife.
23:05Thomas Hammond experiencing through the trailer.

Recommended