- 20 minutes ago
Welcome to another round of "Johnny Doesn't Know" on Klein. Ally. Show. Klein showed up with a short haircut that made his wife ask if he enlisted in the army, so we decided to test Johnny's actual military knowledge. Watch this to feel more grateful that anyone other than Johnny is serving their country.
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00:00All right, let's get inside Johnny's brain for just a moment.
00:03And if you are successful in doing so, you could go ahead and score yourself either some Klein Alley Show
00:08limited edition merch.
00:09Or if you want, you can join Jake the Nerd at Vidiot's for an event that he's not even sure
00:14what it is.
00:15But he says it's one night only.
00:16I know exactly what it is.
00:17One night only, and you'll be there with Jake.
00:19Tell us about it twice.
00:20I don't know what it is.
00:21I am more confused now than I was when I arrived.
00:23A bunch of cool space clips put together into one feature-long thing that you can't see anywhere else.
00:28Yeah, we got that part.
00:29It's time for Johnny Doesn't Know.
00:32Johnny Doesn't Know.
00:33And I was like, okay.
00:34Oh, Johnny Doesn't Know.
00:36I didn't know Vegas was like in Vata for like a while.
00:39Johnny Doesn't Know.
00:40Johnny Doesn't Know.
00:41Gelato sounds like Jell-O.
00:43Johnny Doesn't Know.
00:44It like goes wiggles.
00:48All right.
00:49Now, I think I have a very normal haircut.
00:52Allie claims it's the same haircut I've had my entire life, the whole time she's ever known me.
00:56I came home on Thursday last week, felt decent about it.
01:00And my wife said, did you just sign up for the Army?
01:02And I said, why would you say that?
01:04She goes, why do you go so short?
01:06You do go short on the side sometimes.
01:07Your ears are too big.
01:08Your nose is too big.
01:09You can't go short because it makes everything look even bigger.
01:13And I said, well, there goes 11 seconds.
01:15I felt good about myself today before it's been ruined.
01:18You were very excited about your haircut.
01:19So, well, for just the drive home, I-
01:22To be honest, I can't ever tell any difference.
01:25And you're always like, I got a haircut.
01:26I'm like, okay.
01:27Yeah, man.
01:28This military thing is totally a reach because you look exactly the same you always do.
01:32That's what I thought.
01:32But anyway, you guys seem to have a lot of fun with that on Friday.
01:34So, we have all military-themed questions for Johnny Doesn't Know right now.
01:37And you don't need to know the answer.
01:39You just need to know, will Johnny know the answer to these questions?
01:42Once again, all stuff about the military.
01:45Johnny, you ever think about signing up, enlisting?
01:47I was going to.
01:48If I didn't end up working here, I was thinking about doing something easy like the military.
01:52Like working in the mail room or like being in the kitchen in the military.
01:56I don't know if you can pick.
01:57Well, they'd probably look at me and be like, yeah, this guy, we're not trusting him with a gun.
02:01Yeah, you should not have firearms.
02:02Johnny's mouth would be in the mail room.
02:03By the way, you think the military is easy?
02:05No, the military is difficult.
02:06I said an easy job in the military.
02:09Like make me the chef or make me like the mail guy or something.
02:12I don't know.
02:12You suck at cooking.
02:13I'm good at cooking.
02:14I get down.
02:15Kevin and Norwalk, first question for Johnny.
02:17Johnny in this exciting military edition of Johnny Doesn't Know.
02:20Johnny, you don't need to know the answer.
02:22Just predict, will Johnny know the answer?
02:23Johnny, what does a Navy SEAL, what does it stand for?
02:28SEAL.
02:29It means something.
02:30Will Johnny know this?
02:31Yes or no, Kevin?
02:33No, he doesn't know that.
02:35Johnny, you've heard of the term Navy SEAL?
02:37Yeah, the dudes that took out Bin Laden.
02:39Yeah.
02:40Yeah.
02:40That was still Team Six.
02:42Same thing.
02:43Same SEALs?
02:44Right.
02:44Same SEALs.
02:45Do you know what the SEAL means?
02:47I mean, I didn't even know it was an acronym until you mentioned it right now.
02:50Uh-huh.
02:51He says you won't know.
02:52You thought they just called them SEALs?
02:54Yeah, because it sounds like a badass name.
02:55Right.
02:56I would never expect a SEAL to actually be so covert.
03:01You think that's the animal they would pick to name it after a SEAL?
03:03It's fish out of a bucket.
03:05You know what I mean?
03:06That's a scary-
03:07It could balance a ball on its nose.
03:08Bounce this little ball on itself on the platform.
03:10The most unassuming animal.
03:11It could have been the dolphins, too, or something.
03:13I don't know.
03:14Right.
03:14A SEAL-
03:15Or, or, or, or.
03:16Yeah.
03:18Fascinating.
03:19That's right.
03:20Johnny could have that role.
03:22SEAL.
03:22Well, the S stands for secret, obviously.
03:25Yep.
03:25Well, um, the E, the E I'm not sure of.
03:31We're going to come back to that, but let's jump to A.
03:33Which I'm also not sure about.
03:36Secret A.
03:37Oh, A stands for agent.
03:40Oh, no, really?
03:42Oh, wow.
03:43And then the L, logistics.
03:46L is for, damn, really?
03:48Secret, secret.
03:49I left the E blank because I don't know right now.
03:51Secret, blank, agent logistics.
03:53Agent logistics.
03:56Secret, what starts with E?
03:59I, I'm thinking like if.
04:01I, E starts with E?
04:02E.
04:03When you fill out a test, do you just leave tons of blank spaces?
04:06A lot of blanks.
04:06And then you go back?
04:07Yeah.
04:08Name.
04:08Blank.
04:09I'll leave that blank for now.
04:10I don't want to.
04:10I'll come back to that one.
04:11I'll come back to that.
04:12H-O.
04:12It's a trick question.
04:14Johnny.
04:15C.
04:15Secret.
04:16No.
04:17C.
04:17Oh, C.
04:18C.
04:18Earth, air, and land.
04:21C, earth, air, and land.
04:24What is, oh, am I like almost there?
04:26What does the E stand for?
04:28C, what does E stand for?
04:31Earth.
04:31E's got to stand for earth.
04:33Ethical.
04:34C, earth.
04:36Evangelical.
04:37Evangelical.
04:38And land.
04:39C, E, and land.
04:41Oh, C and land.
04:43S, E.
04:44C and land.
04:45Saul.
04:46Saul?
04:46I'm a Navy Saul.
04:48Hey, you're my uncle.
04:49Wait, so you're thinking C is S-E?
04:53Yeah, are you lumping C together like C?
04:55I didn't come up with the name, Johnny.
04:58What are you doing here, Clyde?
05:00What's your mindset behind this acronym?
05:02I want to see right now.
05:03I'm going to type in what Johnny said.
05:05And Johnny, I want to see if it says on your answer, because it can tell us what they believe
05:09Johnny's age is based on the answer he just gave.
05:11Okay.
05:12And what do you think they're going to say, Allie?
05:14The age of him?
05:16Six?
05:17I'm putting in Johnny's answer right now.
05:19This is so exciting now.
05:21Okay.
05:22Who are you asking, Grok?
05:24Johnny, you, my friend, are a three-month-old.
05:28Oh.
05:29No, it says you're between seven and 11 years old.
05:31Oh, wow.
05:32Based on that answer.
05:33Yes.
05:33Yes.
05:34You're excited.
05:35That's a good place to be, man.
05:36That was the best time of my life.
05:37All right, move on.
05:38It's C, air, and land is the Navy SEAL.
05:42Saul?
05:43That's right.
05:43C, air, and land.
05:44That doesn't count.
05:46That's what it stands for.
05:47We say hi to Josh.
05:48You tricked me.
05:49Boyle Heights.
05:49Kevin got his right.
05:50What's up, Josh?
05:51Thanks for putting up with that.
05:53Here we go.
05:53Next one.
05:53This is easier for Johnny now.
05:55If someone goes AWOL, what does that mean?
05:58If someone goes AWOL, will Johnny know this?
06:00Military terminology.
06:02Well, he has to say what each letter means, right?
06:06That seems to work out for him pretty well.
06:07Oh, yeah.
06:07We're going to do this again?
06:09Jesus.
06:11No.
06:12Well, Johnny is tricky because he might know it, but if he got to tell me what every letter
06:18means, he don't know that.
06:19But you think he'll know what the term AWOL is?
06:22He knows what it means.
06:23You think so?
06:24But he don't know what each letter means for sure.
06:27Johnny?
06:28AWOL.
06:29Yeah.
06:30In Call of Duty, they mention AWOL.
06:31When a soldier goes AWOL, it's when they completely desert and abandoned the whole group.
06:36They end up living in France.
06:38They find a girl, and they're like, I'm going to hide from the military, abandon them, and
06:41live with this girl in France.
06:42It's all because they found a girl in France?
06:44Every time.
06:45My grandpa told me in the military, a couple of his buddies went AWOL because they ended
06:48up finding wives over there, and they're like, man, forget this war.
06:51So what do you believe that now, now that you know kind of the concept, what do you think
06:54AWOL stands for?
06:56There's no acronym for that.
06:58There's no acronym.
06:58AWOL Nation?
06:59AWOL Nation.
07:00What do you, I don't know.
07:02Absent.
07:03Without.
07:05This is really an acronym?
07:07Yeah.
07:08AWOL?
07:08A lady from France.
07:11Without a lady from France.
07:13There you go.
07:13That's right.
07:14Absent without.
07:16Without a law.
07:17Without a reason.
07:18Leave.
07:18Without a leave.
07:19Duh.
07:20Easy.
07:21Hold on, Josh.
07:22Got his right as well.
07:23Stephanie.
07:23Seven-year-old me would have knew.
07:25I should see what they say.
07:26What age they say Johnny's for that one.
07:27Stephanie, we'll give you the final one here.
07:29It's Johnny doesn't know military stuff.
07:30We have a lot more, but clearly this takes way too long.
07:33The U.S. Marine Corps has a motto.
07:35Their motto is always what?
07:36Will Johnny know what this is?
07:42Stephanie?
07:44Oh, hello?
07:45Hi.
07:46Will Johnny know?
07:47Hi.
07:47Sorry.
07:48Will Johnny know the Marine Corps' motto, always what?
07:53I don't know that one.
07:55Will Johnny know it?
07:56That's all that matters.
07:59Always.
08:02Wow.
08:02She sounds like me.
08:03I know.
08:03She does.
08:04This is not a good caller.
08:05This is Johnny.
08:06Get off the phone, bro.
08:08Will Johnny know yes or no?
08:11No.
08:12She says you won't know Johnny.
08:13She's female Johnny.
08:15Always.
08:16It's got to be like always watching.
08:18But that's not the Marines' slogan, though.
08:21Aren't they the few, the proud, the Marines?
08:24Yeah.
08:24Like in the commercial?
08:25Yeah.
08:26Remember in the commercial when they're like in the water?
08:27I know it.
08:28And they're playing inside?
08:28Very well.
08:29They're playing.
08:30You know the commercial when they're playing?
08:32Splash, splash.
08:32Or Marco Polo.
08:33Yeah.
08:34You ever see the commercial?
08:35They're like hiding and then they come out and they're like,
08:37the few, the proud, the Marines.
08:39Right.
08:39But they have another two-word slogan.
08:42Hoo-ha.
08:43Okay.
08:43Hoo-ha.
08:44Always hoo-ha?
08:46Damn.
08:47Always hoo-ha?
08:47She said she wouldn't know.
08:48They updated it?
08:49Always faithful.
08:52Always faithful?
08:52Oh, I didn't know that.
08:53Which translates to?
08:55Semper Fi.
08:56That's the one.
08:56Oh, Semper Fi.
08:57Damn.
08:58Now you know.
08:59So you're not focused.
09:01Well, no one, sorry, Johnny got none of them right.
09:03Everyone predicted he would not, which means, Allie, Kevin, Josh, and Stephanie have all
09:07predicted correctly in this round of Giants as to know.
09:09Who is going to win?
09:11That would be Kevin.
09:12Congratulations.
09:13Kevin, the choice is yours now.
09:15Limited edition Klein Alley Show merch or a night with Jake the Nerd at Vidiot's?
09:20I'll go a night with Jake the Nerd.
09:23Wow.
09:23And yo.
09:24Hold on one second.
09:26That's going to be cool.
09:27Vidiot's on October 6th with Jake the Nerd for a physical media mind melter.
09:33Wow.
09:34Vidiot's in space.
09:35Quick break.
09:36We're back with more show notes.
09:38KROQ.
09:38Klein Alley Show.
09:40Mornings on K-Rock.
09:41K-Rock.
09:42Yeah.
09:43K-Rock.