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00:03Welcome to the Celebrity Dating Agency, where love is in the air.
00:08Looking good, Tommy?
00:09Today, Tom and the agents are preparing to catch up with the celebs who've been dating up a storm.
00:15Oh, God, there's so much I'm reaching to find out today.
00:18Patience is a virtue, darling.
00:20Yes. I'm on the peripheries of dating society today. I need to penetrate the inner circle.
00:25I did that once, sat on me car keys.
00:28And first to arrive at the agency is a man who put the sex into Essex, kind of, is Argy
00:33Bargy.
00:40He just can't stop keeping fit.
00:43Hey.
00:45Hello. Coming on.
00:47Oh, is it Tom's time to penetrate the circle?
00:51Hey.
00:51Hey, ma'am.
00:52Oh, maybe next time, Tom.
00:54You good?
00:54No, I'm good. I'm absolutely... I'm good.
00:58Kind of.
01:00Argy's last date was with absolute stun of Victoria, who Argy fell nigh on over Boona for.
01:05Tick all the boxes that you, Victoria are.
01:08But at dinner, it turned out she wanted to order from a different menu.
01:12If Callum was to have asked you on a date...
01:16I'd probably be able to say yes.
01:17So he got on the blower to Eden for emergency advice.
01:20You just charm her.
01:22You touch the hand and touch the shoulder and touch the hair.
01:25I need to wash my hands first, though.
01:26By the time I got off the phone, sat down, she was like, well, like, you're a nice guy and
01:32whatever, but there's just no chemistry.
01:33Oh, babe.
01:35We've had a few epic describe your celebrity date in three words, but this, James, is my favourite of all
01:43time.
01:44Describe your celebrity date in three words, like, my, uncle.
01:52I've got three words for that.
01:54Fuck.
01:55In.
01:55Hell.
01:57Seriously?
01:59What the fuck does that even mean?
02:02What the fuck does that even mean?
02:06Why does she sound like her uncle?
02:07What's her uncle like?
02:08Why is that so funny?
02:10I'm really offended.
02:11Yeah, because she could have said, like, my brother, but she went for the uncle.
02:15She took a liberty.
02:17You two are supposed to be professional.
02:18Oh, God.
02:19Amazing.
02:20Sorry.
02:21This is interesting.
02:23What feedback would you give your celebrity date, be more flirtatious?
02:26Oh, my God.
02:27I fucking knew it.
02:28My next date, I'm going to feel confident in myself.
02:31I'm just going to go for it.
02:32What's the worst that could happen?
02:33At least be the best date I can be.
02:38And while Uncle Arge talks to talk, Brighton rocker Frankie walks to walk to the agency.
02:47Oh.
02:48Oh, you look naughty and nautical.
02:51Has he done a shift at Pizza Express?
02:53You've got a spring of ice.
02:53I love you.
02:54Oh, do I?
02:54Thanks, mate.
02:55Yes.
02:55Yes.
02:56You just missed the campanologists, actually.
02:59The what?
03:00They do campanology at the church.
03:02What's that?
03:03It's the art of bell ringing.
03:05Oh, nice.
03:06And sometimes on the hour, they just do a ding.
03:08Frankie, it's rubbish.
03:09Don't listen to it.
03:12Downstairs, Eden's cutting to the chase with Uncle Arge.
03:15So what do you want out of your next date?
03:17I want a girl who is going to be bubbly again.
03:21It's going to be fun.
03:22It's going to be, give me a bit of personality back.
03:24And not call you Uncle?
03:26We have a date for you called Chantelle.
03:29And she is amazing.
03:32In regards to?
03:34Personality.
03:35I think looks.
03:37OK.
03:38It's bubbly.
03:39Probably might challenge you a bit.
03:41Because I think the topic is a conversation that aren't stuff you'd normally have on a date.
03:44What?
03:45She won't talk about curry?
03:46So let me ask you, James.
03:48What do you know about taxidermy?
03:52Taxidermy?
03:53To be fair, he does nothing or two about being stuffed.
03:56I'm baffled.
03:57About what?
03:58I'm baffed.
03:58About what?
03:59Oh, I don't have a clue what you're talking about.
04:01Have a Google.
04:02Have a Google?
04:03I want to go on a date, not do research.
04:06Flirt.
04:07Fucking go in there and flirt.
04:09I do know how to flirt to a certain degree.
04:12What's your definition of flirting?
04:14My definition of flirting would be like, oi, oi.
04:17Oi, oi.
04:19Oi, bloody oi.
04:20Oi, oi.
04:21Like, come on.
04:22Oi, oi.
04:23Oi, oi, come on.
04:24I knew we had a challenge on our hands, but come on.
04:28You have to be more tactile.
04:30Having skin-to-skin close connection is chemistry.
04:35You can do it without even them thinking I'm being tactile on purpose.
04:39That's the whole point.
04:39That's called flirting, darling.
04:40That's what it is.
04:41Yeah.
04:42So do touching, picking the fluff.
04:45Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:46I'm going to be as flirty as I fucking can.
04:49Sorry for swearing.
04:50And I need to get out of the friend zone.
04:52I'm going to take the advice from the agents, and I'm going to crack on with some full-on flirting.
04:57Oi, oi.
04:59Oh, Arge, in one ear, out the other.
05:01Next, it's Frankie's turn to face his feedback after his date with Katrina.
05:05Hello.
05:05Hello, Bella.
05:06That's Katrina Frankie.
05:08I'm going to have to be honest with you.
05:10What?
05:10I can't remember your fucking name.
05:12I knew you were going to say that.
05:13But he did do his best to save himself by laying on the compliments.
05:17I honestly cannot get over how good-looking you look.
05:21Seriously, you look fantastic, mate.
05:23And you're cushy.
05:25Did you notice any chemistry?
05:28I just really fancied her.
05:30I don't know if she fancied me at all, if I'm honest with you.
05:33I genuinely don't have a clue.
05:34Are you sure?
05:35Or are you just shit at reading it?
05:37Yeah, I might be.
05:38I know he was laughing quite a bit and stuff, but I think I was just giving her compliments and
05:42that.
05:43Hang on a second, because there's a compliment and then there's like,
05:45Babe, you just look so fucking amazing.
05:48It was definitely that.
05:49I think it was probably like that, if I was just, yeah.
05:52Oh, God.
05:52I know, it was creepy.
05:53I feel like it was creepy.
05:55Did you call her mate?
05:57Not much at all, mate.
05:58You just look banging mate.
06:00Mate, mate, mate.
06:02Mate.
06:02No, it's good, mate.
06:03Oh, mate.
06:05Oh, my God.
06:06Frisky.
06:07What do you think she would rate the date?
06:10God.
06:11Oh, see, I think she's nice, so I think she'd probably seven at a push.
06:16Okay.
06:17Are you about to tell me?
06:19I really need you to listen to what we're about to tell you and I need you to take it
06:23in.
06:24You're worrying me.
06:25Okay.
06:26Come on, put us out of our misery.
06:29She gave you an eight, mate.
06:31Fuck off.
06:32He has such a way with words.
06:34Is she really?
06:34Eight out of ten.
06:35Still new, getting to know each other, and of course he didn't remember her name, but it's okay, I found
06:39it funny.
06:41She didn't act, see, she didn't act like she found it funny at all.
06:44You didn't think she acted, but I think the name thing was her just having a little dig.
06:49Did you want to kiss?
06:50Yes.
06:51Fuck off.
06:52She said that?
06:52Yes.
06:53Fuck off.
06:55Is there anything else you'd like to say?
06:57No, I genuinely enjoyed the evening.
07:00Fuck off.
07:01How did I not know that?
07:02Your confidence issues are shot to shit, so we need to work on those.
07:07And when he says we, he means you.
07:11And as Frankie has set his homework, top of the class Arch has already done his.
07:16I found out what, um, taxidermy or dermist?
07:21Taxidermist.
07:22Taxidermist means.
07:23Yep, there we are.
07:24She stuffs dead animals and hangs them up like, like they're ornaments, I think.
07:31I wouldn't say stuffing dead animals, it's exactly the biggest turn on.
07:36It might not be a turn off either.
07:39But I am open-minded, I'm getting my mojo back, and I'm going to flirt the absolute shit out of
07:44her.
07:45That's quite the skill.
07:46She works for stuffed animals, let's hope she stuffs her belly as well, because I'm starving.
07:51Of course you are.
07:54With our job to get stuffed in more ways than one, Frankie's focusing on the future.
07:58Is there a second date on the cards?
08:01I'd fucking love to go on a second date, but yeah.
08:03Yeah, and I feel like this time, now I know she does fancy me a little bit, I can relax.
08:08Less creepy, more cool.
08:09Yeah, do you know what I mean?
08:10Yeah, less creepy.
08:11More cool.
08:12More cool.
08:12So am I going Leeds?
08:14Do you want to?
08:15Yeah, I fucking, yeah, I love Leeds.
08:16So date two, away game in Leeds, what's your game plan?
08:21Be confident this time.
08:23When you see her and your penis goes, wah!
08:27Forget the date, if his wang does that, get him on Britain's Got Talent.
08:30And you feel the urge to be like, you're fucking beautiful.
08:34Remember, cool, not creepy.
08:36Cool, not creepy.
08:37Cool, not creepy.
08:37Cool, not creepy.
08:39Frank, no one likes a creepy winker.
08:41I'm made up, mate.
08:42I'm going to Leeds, she fancies me, and I'm going to smash it.
08:45Thank you so much, guys, take care of yourself, see you later.
08:50Cool, not creepy.
08:51All right, cool, not creepy.
08:54Someone else who likes Leeds, although ideally attached to a stuffed dog, is Argy's new date,
08:58taxidermist Chantelle.
09:00Hiya.
09:01Oh, sorry, I was away with the fairies.
09:05Or hypnotised by the menu, either or.
09:06Chantelle, lovely to see you.
09:08You look very nice.
09:10She's quite hot, and she's definitely quirky.
09:13It's time to get flirty.
09:15I like your hair colour.
09:17It's really cool.
09:18It's not ginger, it's like...
09:20What would say you like?
09:21On the box, it said cherry red.
09:23Yeah, that's cool.
09:23I'd go with that, 100% cherry red.
09:25No, that's lovely.
09:26You look lovely, really good.
09:28And you do look nice, and your top looks good.
09:30I like flowery.
09:31Is it me, or wooden?
09:32Oi, oi!
09:33Sound really good about now.
09:34And I really like your nose ring.
09:36Nose ring, all right.
09:37It's quite sexy.
09:39Have you got any tattoos or anything?
09:41Yeah, I've got seven.
09:42Seven tattoos?
09:43Yeah.
09:43No way.
09:44Yeah, that's the one you can...
09:45Oh, yeah, yeah.
09:46Sorry, yeah.
09:47I should have noticed that.
09:48Let me have a look at that one again.
09:51Very nice.
09:52Did he just poke her tattoo?
09:54Nadia said skin on skin, so I'm going for it.
09:57And it's going down a treat.
10:00Yeah, but don't forget, that arm has just been up a badger's arse.
10:04Coming up, the agents have their hands full.
10:07I've got his pants off.
10:08How dare she say I walked in as a fucking five.
10:11As the celebs get a gobful.
10:13I think my mouth's got a lot of saliva in it.
10:15Oh, fuck me, mate.
10:17I'll do it.
10:19I'll do it.
10:21I'll do it.
10:23I'll do it.
10:23I'll do it.
10:25Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating.
10:28An agency set up to help famous faces finally find the one.
10:32Oh, my God.
10:34Yeah, my fault's exactly.
10:36So far, Frankie's had good news about his last date with Katrina.
10:39Just gave you an eight, mate.
10:41Fuck off.
10:42And Ard was educated in the art of flirting.
10:45Skin-to-skin close connection is chemistry.
10:49Before trying it out on taxidermist Chantelle.
10:52Very nice.
10:54With the boys all sorted, next in to see the agents is our Charlotte.
10:58Oh, watch that dog shit.
11:06Hi darling, it's me.
11:08Hello darling, come up.
11:11Hello.
11:12Oh, hello.
11:14Oh, how are you doing?
11:15How amazing is it?
11:17It's absolutely gorgeous.
11:19I knew you'd love it.
11:20Very elegant, Shazza.
11:22Oh.
11:22Oh, where you going?
11:24Don't fall, my love.
11:26Oh, bloody hell.
11:28She's still drunk, isn't she?
11:30Can I have a bit of water?
11:31Of course you may.
11:32I'm a bit dehydrated.
11:34Oh, my.
11:35Got any kebabs over there as well, Tom?
11:38I can't stop thinking about you.
11:40Under strict instruction to be cool and not creepy, Frankie's heading to Leeds for a second date with Katrina.
11:47I regret telling them that I felt a bit creepy because that'd become like a fucking thing, do you know
11:51what I mean?
11:52Those sunglasses are not helping, Mrs Creepington.
11:54I think the best outcome should be if we fancy each other and get on and have a laugh and
11:58have a really good night.
11:59She's just fucking gorgeous, for a start, like, really fucking good looking.
12:04And she's got her edge screwed on.
12:06Always helps.
12:08Back in London and Arj is flirting his face off with Blind Date Chantel.
12:15I think we're ready to order some food.
12:17I'm absolutely starving.
12:19I hope this bird's got a good appetite.
12:22Do you like spicy food?
12:23Yeah, I love spicy food.
12:24Oh, nice.
12:24I'm half Indian, so...
12:25Are you?
12:26Yeah.
12:27I love a curry.
12:28Oh, here we go.
12:29What's your favourite cuisine food, then?
12:31Curry's my favourite, number one.
12:33Yeah.
12:33Then after that, like, I do quite like, like, Turkish and...
12:36I like all food, to be honest with you.
12:38Oh, Chantel, what have you started?
12:40Pie mash, Italians, Chinese, roast dinners, barbecue.
12:47Turkey Twizzlers, apple strudels, amsters.
12:54Over at the agency and it's Charlotte's turn to feedback to Eden and Nat.
12:58Hello.
12:59Oh, my God.
13:00I look fabulous.
13:02Yeah.
13:03How classy do I look?
13:05I think Nat's face says it all.
13:07On Charlotte's last date with Travis, the agents told her to be classy and not trashy.
13:12Oh, yeah.
13:13Do you like me out of all the girls?
13:14Yeah, of course.
13:15It is.
13:16It was a red dress.
13:16It was the colour of red.
13:17How was the date?
13:18It was really good.
13:19It really got a good vibe from him.
13:21But I tried to show him the softer side to me.
13:24I said, I've got this really nice side, you know, but a lot just like the fun side.
13:28I was like, OK.
13:29Uh-oh.
13:32I'll tell you what, the agents can't be annoyed with me because I was on my best behaviour
13:37at the start.
13:39He says, do you want to play a game?
13:41It's like a sex position game.
13:43It's like an adult buckaroo, sort of a fuckaroo.
13:47What do you do?
13:48Tell me through it.
13:49He bent me over.
13:51Huh?
13:52I'm a clover.
13:53He bent her over.
13:55Oh, my life.
13:57Turn around.
13:58Turn around.
13:59Now it's front.
13:59Now it's front.
13:59Now it's front.
14:00Now it's front.
14:00Now it's front.
14:01Now it's front.
14:01Now it's front.
14:01Now it's up.
14:04So the game is how many sex positions are you going in in 20 seconds?
14:08That's it.
14:09In a restaurant full of people?
14:11Yeah.
14:12The fuck?
14:14Charlotte needs to start listening to us.
14:17This type of behaviour is not going to help her find her dream man.
14:21I wouldn't be so sure.
14:22So I thought, I'll tell you what, Travis, cheeky chops.
14:26You can't get away with that.
14:27I'm going to give you a game.
14:29Oh, God, it gets worse.
14:31So I ordered ten shots.
14:33Why are you ordering less than normal?
14:34And I said, let's play a game called flip, sip or strip.
14:38And then I got his pants off.
14:49And then in between the madness, I was like, do you want to go on a second date?
14:56Amazing.
14:58I can't help but laugh.
14:59But what we do with her now?
15:01God knows.
15:02And even he's not sure.
15:06200 miles later and Frankie's in Leeds.
15:08Oh, hello.
15:10All spruced up, ready for his second date with the lovely Katrina.
15:13I'm proper looking forward to this date, but I've got to take on board what Nadia said.
15:17Cool, not creepy.
15:19Just don't call her mate.
15:20How are you, mate?
15:21Mwah.
15:21You all right?
15:22Mwah, I'm all right.
15:23Thanks to you.
15:23Yeah, not bad.
15:25This is nice, isn't it?
15:26Yeah, how is it happening?
15:26You look like a fucking movie star, mate.
15:28I can't fucking help myself.
15:30She's so banging.
15:32I'll keep it cool from here, I promise.
15:34How's your week been?
15:35I want to turn on scratch cards.
15:37Wow.
15:38Ah, the glamour of the celebrity world.
15:40And I was, like, buzzing to see you again, do you know what I mean?
15:42I actually, like, was, do you know what I mean?
15:44Right, this is a good question.
15:47Do you remember my name?
15:47What am I nervous?
15:48Do you remember my name?
15:49Um, Sasha.
15:50I'm joking.
15:51Katrina.
15:53Jesus Christ.
15:54Hi.
15:54I reckon I might be learning, and I ain't gonna make the same mistakes again.
15:58Yeah, we'll see about that.
15:59Ah.
16:00Cheers, mate.
16:01Anyway, it's nice to see you.
16:06Oh, fuck me, mate.
16:09That's not proper at me.
16:10Oh, it's a slippery slope.
16:13Which, by the sounds of things, is just like a date with Charlotte.
16:16We have a little surprise.
16:18Oh, my God, I lost surprises.
16:21Now I'm excited, what could it be?
16:24Is it a sexy surprise?
16:26I mean, I would say so.
16:28I just can't wait.
16:29Who the chopping hell doesn't love a sexy surprise?
16:33Exactly, shazza-dazza-ding-dong.
16:36Hello?
16:37Would you send down the next client, please?
16:40Yes.
16:41Absolutely.
16:48Come in.
16:49Yay, we're back on the couch.
16:50Oh, we're doubled.
16:51Oh, is that it?
16:52Oh, shit.
16:53Hey, man.
16:55Hello.
16:56Hello.
16:56You look glamorous as ever, my dear.
17:00Get comfy.
17:01There we go.
17:01Get comfy, she says.
17:03We've got some news.
17:04Oh, no, what's going on?
17:06There is a reason in our madness for bringing these two together.
17:10But first, we need to get the lowdown on Callum's date.
17:14How are you?
17:15I feel good today.
17:16I feel fresh.
17:17I've had a great few days.
17:18My last date was fucking madness.
17:20Callum was joined for lunch by Shia and Tyra and Cougar Izzy.
17:24Come and rub it.
17:25Okay.
17:26Now I felt that.
17:27Yeah.
17:27Can I just feel this?
17:29Oh, wow.
17:31Oh, oh.
17:31Big blank.
17:32It was all about being naughty.
17:34It went super weird when she told me that she likes to dress boys and ponies.
17:38Yeah.
17:38And then we started talking about, you know those butt plugs that have the hair that come out
17:43of them?
17:43We started talking about the butt plugs.
17:45No, a little nod there from Eden.
17:47Then she started telling me she could do chest and butt reading, so I got my butt out.
17:51She read my butt.
17:51You got your butt out?
17:52Yeah.
17:53I was like, fuck it.
17:54I had some fun with it.
17:55Yes, fuck.
17:55I just loosened up and had some fun with it, to be fair.
17:57Loosen up and butt plugs.
17:59That's an oxymoron for you.
18:00You weren't expecting that, was you?
18:01What would you rate your date?
18:03I would rate her a, for fun factor, I'd rate her eight or nine.
18:08She very interestingly said the date started at a five, but escalated to an eight.
18:16I imagine, stick up your arse Callum walked in.
18:19Why is it still all about arses?
18:21Yeah.
18:21Yeah.
18:22And it slowly came out.
18:24Dude, what?
18:25Naughty Callum came out and she had a great time.
18:27Can we please stop talking about Callum's arse?
18:30All due respect, she should be so fucking lucky.
18:32Yeah.
18:32You know what I mean?
18:33I went from a five dude, she walked in as a three.
18:37Let's get a great one shit here real quick.
18:39No!
18:40How dare she?
18:41No, I will!
18:42How dare she say I walked in as a fucking five dude?
18:45I'm sorry, but come on, a five?
18:47Fuck off.
18:50Back with Arjun, he's still trying to flirt the shit.
18:52His words, not mine, out of Chantel.
18:55So what would you say is your, like, ideal woman?
18:57If you get like celebrity crush wise?
19:00Nose, nose ring.
19:03A bit of red hair.
19:06Pretty smooth, right?
19:07Do you know what?
19:08She's quite nice looking.
19:09I'm loving the chat.
19:10I'd say so far it's a solid eight.
19:13Celebrity crush wise, I don't know.
19:15Maybe like Carol Valdeman.
19:16I'm with you there, Arjun boy.
19:18Basically, I like any famous celebrity for a nice bum.
19:21That's all right, that's my best feature.
19:22Is it?
19:23Yeah.
19:23No way.
19:23Do you want to show me?
19:24You're not going to be able to see it in this dress.
19:26Oh, that is your best feature?
19:27Yeah.
19:27Yeah.
19:28How would you describe your bum?
19:29It's quite big.
19:30Is it?
19:31Yeah.
19:31Nice.
19:32What a squidgy or?
19:33Yeah.
19:35I love a squidgy bum.
19:37The squidgy the better.
19:40See a bum rather than boobs.
19:41Yeah, all day long.
19:43It's nice to know.
19:44It's nice to know, Chantel.
19:46I've got this flirting down to an absolute T.
19:53Stop right there.
19:54What the hell just happened?
19:58What are you doing?
20:00It's coming out of a waterfall.
20:02Ouch!
20:03I think I got away with that.
20:05Hopefully she didn't see.
20:07Didn't see it?
20:08You got your fucking mind?
20:10I'm really sorry, but for some reason I really dribbled badly.
20:14I think I dribbled quite badly onto my plate, and I don't know why.
20:18What are you doing?
20:19Don't tell her.
20:20I think my mouth's got a lot of saliva in it, and I don't understand.
20:23Stop talking!
20:24Ain't got any saliva in it now.
20:26Or maybe it's the spice.
20:27Don't blame the spice, you dribbling mess!
20:33Right, enough of that.
20:34Let's get back to the agency and see if Callum's still getting arsy.
20:37You are both doing very well, but I do feel like you're kind of at the opposite ends of the
20:43scale.
20:43You ain't wrong there, Nadarino.
20:45Charlotte, you're not very ladylike on your dates, and Callum, you pride yourself on being a gentleman.
20:53I mean, this date was fun, but we were all about the fun factor, and there's no more funner factor
21:00than Ms Dawson.
21:01Yeah.
21:02So, we think it would be a good idea to send you on a double date.
21:06Okay.
21:07I'm cool with that.
21:08I'd love to go on a double date with you.
21:09Yeah.
21:09You can learn off each other.
21:11Mm-hmm.
21:11And I just think it would be interesting to see how you work as a team, but also individuals on
21:16your dates.
21:16I'm happy with that.
21:17Yeah.
21:17I think that's awesome.
21:18I'm really excited.
21:19I think it takes a lot of pressure off as well.
21:21Exactly.
21:21I know that I'm going to be with you.
21:24So, do we know who we're going on a double date with?
21:25No.
21:26All right.
21:26So, we'll sort it out.
21:27It might be a blind date.
21:29You might know them.
21:31Ah.
21:31You won't know.
21:32So, just have fun.
21:35I'm so chuffed and excited.
21:37If I don't like my day, I'm just going to go and Paul Callum.
21:40It's a win-win situation.
21:42Come on, team.
21:43I just love dating.
21:44Okay, bye.
21:45Let me get the door.
21:46I wonder who it's going to be.
21:47Here we go.
21:48Off to the bar, yeah?
21:49Let's go and get fucked.
21:52Oh, shit.
21:53Oh, shit indeed.
21:56Coming up, it's Boozy.
21:58I mean, I've had a lot of shots in my time, but that's something else.
22:02And a bit bizarre.
22:03She's wearing a dead nuke.
22:06A dead nuke.
22:07It's the weirdest shit I've ever heard in my entire life.
22:20Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating.
22:22The only place where you can see Arch from Towie have a good old dribble.
22:27Ooh.
22:28Lovely.
22:29Other than that, his vape new taxidermist Chantel has seen him at his flirty best.
22:33How would you describe your bum?
22:35It's my big.
22:36A squidgy, or...?
22:37Yeah.
22:37The agents have finally lost it.
22:39Callum!
22:40And sent Callum and Charlotte out on a double date.
22:43After the bar, yeah?
22:43Let's go and get fucked!
22:45And Frankie's on his second date in Leeds with lovely Katrina, where he's still trying to play it cool.
22:51You look like a fucking movie star, mate.
22:53I did say trying.
22:56In London, Charlotte's preening ahead of tonight's high-class date, full of sophistication.
23:02I'm very sceptical about tonight, you know.
23:05Like, I'm thinking, like, where am I going?
23:08Who am I going with?
23:09What's cracker-lacking?
23:11All I know is I'm going to have to try and be a lady.
23:14I said refined.
23:16Someone get a straw.
23:17I'm going to be classy as chuff tonight.
23:22Ching.
23:23Ching, ching, ching.
23:24Go on, Shaz.
23:25Down in one.
23:28Oh, pure class.
23:30With most of the celebs out on their dates, Toph's filling her sister in on her recent experiences.
23:36So, what was that?
23:37That's her nan?
23:38Fuck off.
23:39I've got so much to tell you.
23:41I've been on a date with a stripper.
23:44Georgia?
23:45In Wales.
23:46Oh, stop it.
23:47There he goes.
23:48I get my caramel chopper out for money.
23:50Oh, oh, no.
23:51Why are all these young men strippers?
23:53Can't be enough work for them.
23:55Going down the wrong road with that one, definitely.
23:58Best of luck, Georgia, that's all I can say.
24:00Because you'll have to work double shifts for the rest of your life.
24:04The problem is, Annie, there was one nice one.
24:06It's called Benji.
24:07He went to Uppingham.
24:08He's really lovely.
24:09But he was really left-wing.
24:11Okay, right, so here's the political spectrum.
24:13I'm centre-right.
24:14Sometimes I'm, like, right out there, like anarchist.
24:18I know.
24:19You have to have someone that's on your wavelength.
24:21You've both got to be on the same page.
24:23Please.
24:23This is why you've got to keep dating.
24:25Yes.
24:25Because then you just gel with someone that is never going to be perfect, but kind of most things are
24:32okay.
24:33Ah, the search for love where most things are okay.
24:37Back in the Brazilian restaurant, Arj finally decides to grab the stuffed ball by the horns and confronts his date
24:42about her hobby.
24:44Taxi!
24:44Dermist for Arj.
24:45The agent's asked me what a taxi...
24:49Taxidermy.
24:50Taxidermy.
24:51That's it.
24:51I'm wearing one at the moment.
24:53What?
24:54It's a new.
24:55That's a new?
24:58I'm sorry, but how can someone wear a dead animal round their neck?
25:03Rather that than a live one.
25:04Do you, like, usually wear this?
25:06Yeah, I like wearing it.
25:07What's this called then?
25:09Like, that's more of a wet specimen.
25:10Steady on, love.
25:11So, if you've been to Natural History Museum, they have the animals in jars, like, in the liquid.
25:16I haven't been out of choice as such.
25:19Year 9 school trip?
25:19Yeah, me too, mate.
25:21This is something you choose to do just for the love of it.
25:24Yeah.
25:24I've got, like, all sorts, like, hearts and skulls and do a bit of, like, mummifying as well.
25:29Yeah?
25:30Yeah.
25:31It's something different.
25:31Yeah, my housemates had to get used to the fact that there'll be, like, dead snakes in the freezer.
25:35Almost.
25:36When they go to get out there.
25:37Sausages or whatever.
25:38Did they not go mad?
25:39No, they were fine with it.
25:40I bet the snakes weren't happy, though.
25:42The last thing I'm gonna do is get my onion bhaji's from a fridge freezer and see an anaconda popping
25:47out.
25:48Just gonna go to the toilet very quickly. Do you excuse me for a minute?
25:50Yeah, it's fine.
25:51Talking of anacondas.
26:00Nadia?
26:00Hi, James.
26:02She's wearing a dead nude round her neck.
26:06A dead what?
26:07A dead nude.
26:08Seriously, she's, like, she collects dead animals.
26:11I'll be straight out of you.
26:13She's actually a nice girl.
26:14There isn't a great deal of chemistry there.
26:16There isn't a great deal of connection there.
26:18But fuck me, yous lot have gotta step up your game.
26:23Back now to the hottest woman on this show.
26:26Hello there, Nanny Toph.
26:28You know what I'm like.
26:29I mean, I've only dated guys.
26:31Weird.
26:32Yeah.
26:32They're a bit like the absent-minded professor type.
26:35They've always got to have something about them.
26:36So I've dated a guy, I liked it because he was quite intelligent and liked to invent weird things.
26:43Love that.
26:43But why is that attractive?
26:44My goodness.
26:46I imagine you were someone that's got quite nice looks.
26:48But it's not everything, really, because it's the personality that counts.
26:52Look at me and Grandad.
26:53Yeah, you're so right.
26:54My grandparents are literally my inspiration.
26:57If I can be half as happy as they are, I'm definitely on the right track.
27:01But then how do you know when you've found the right one?
27:03A massive pond in the back garden's a good start.
27:05You just know.
27:06Really?
27:06You just know.
27:07It's just a different feeling.
27:08When you met Grandad, did you know?
27:09Yes.
27:10You can't put it into words, really.
27:13Just keep going.
27:18Up in Leeds, much to everyone's amazement, especially his, Frankie's on his second date with dancer Katrina.
27:25So, yeah, going into the agency, mate.
27:27Yeah.
27:28I was like, yeah, shitting myself in that.
27:32Like, everything you said was just so lovely.
27:35I was quite shocked, actually.
27:36That's all right.
27:37That was fun.
27:37Me too, mate.
27:38It's good.
27:39It's a good impression, though.
27:40It's good.
27:41I just can't see how I got it so wrong.
27:44I was trying to drop a hint slyly, but there's only so much hinting you can do.
27:47I know.
27:48I apologise, mate.
27:49I just had it in my head that I fucked it.
27:51So did I, mate.
27:52Why do you think it was so bad?
27:54Oh, mate.
27:55See, I don't know what I'm so fucking nervous for, because you're just cushed in.
27:59Right.
27:59Now I know she fancies me, I feel like we can relax, chill out, and crack on.
28:04What do you like?
28:05I don't know, mate.
28:06If I'm honest with you, there's nothing that's, like, jumping out at me, apart from banoffee.
28:11Yeah, start with that, and then maybe go for a prawn cocktail for pudding.
28:14I need to stop eating shit food, though.
28:16I've, like, fucking kebabs and that all the time.
28:18I've never eaten a kebab in my life.
28:19You what?
28:20I've never eaten a kebab or a burger.
28:21Don't wind me up.
28:22Never had a burger?
28:24What?
28:24I'm sorry, mate.
28:25I might have to do one.
28:26I can't fucking be sitting here with someone who's never eaten a burger.
28:29That's madness.
28:31Nobody tell Arge you'll have a heart attack.
28:36So Arge has faked a toilet trip to make an emergency phone call to Nadia and Eden.
28:41I've used this as an exercise to trial and test certain things that you and Eden have tried to teach
28:47me.
28:48Like?
28:48She's got all tattoos.
28:49So after where her tattoos was, she's got actually one on her arm.
28:52And then, like, I tried getting a little bit tactile.
28:55Like, I put my fingers on her arm, but, like, I felt a bit uncomfortable,
28:58so I kind of just, like, poked her tattoo.
29:00The idea of being tactile, James, is not poking.
29:04It's more like stroking.
29:06All right, I'll give her a stroke.
29:08This is your practice.
29:09Listen, the one thing I'd like you to try is eye contact.
29:13Because your eye contact, I think, on dates might be a bit effing.
29:15All right, I'm going to stare into her eyes.
29:17I'm going to stroke her arms and I'm going to let her speak.
29:20Good luck.
29:21Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye.
29:23This will be easy.
29:24I can totally do this.
29:26Get ready to watch the master at work.
29:30Oh, it's like one of them nature documentaries.
29:32The strong, confident male strides towards the unsuspecting female ready to perform his mating ritual.
29:40And the alpha male...
29:41Boo!
29:42Totally fucks it.
29:44There is nothing sexy about dead animals.
29:48But I'm going to try and get past that and give this flirting a go.
29:51I love your ring.
29:53Your rings are very, um...
29:56I'm trying my best to flirt, but all I keep thinking about is like dead animals.
30:01Let's have a look at your watch.
30:02Just think where that watch has been, though, Arj.
30:04Very, very nice.
30:05Very elegant.
30:06Could I, um...
30:07Can we get the bill, please?
30:08Yeah, sure thing.
30:08Well, slap my arse and call me Fred.
30:11He's skipping dessert.
30:12Things must be bad.
30:13I swear this newt is just staring at me.
30:16This is too weird.
30:18I've got to get out of here.
30:19Well, thank you very much.
30:19Yeah, thank you so much.
30:20Yeah.
30:21All the best.
30:22And I'll speak to you soon or whatever, yeah?
30:24I would say see you later, alligator, but under the circumstances.
30:28Charlotte's first to arrive for a blind double date with Callum.
30:31And she's on a mission to be elegant this evening.
30:35Minus her knickers by the looks of things.
30:39Next in is Callum's date, Victoria.
30:41You might recognise her.
30:42She's Arj is not-so-sloppy seconds.
30:46If Callum was to have asked you on a date,
30:50would you reckon you would have said date?
30:51Yes.
30:52If I'm honest at the beginning, I probably would have said Jess.
30:57Hi.
30:57Hi, darling.
30:59How are you?
31:00You okay?
31:01Good, thank you.
31:02You look lovely.
31:03Aw, thank you.
31:05I'm Victoria.
31:06I'm Charlotte.
31:08Aw.
31:08Lovely.
31:09I know it's gorgeous, isn't it?
31:11I know it's gorgeous, isn't it?
31:11Callum is going to be buzzing with his date, Victoria.
31:14She's absolutely stunning.
31:16So you excited?
31:17Yeah, really excited.
31:18But I just have no idea who I'm on a date with.
31:21Well, I know he had a date with.
31:23Oh, my God.
31:24Who would you like it to me?
31:26Probably, probably Callum.
31:27Well, you're in luck.
31:28He's Callum.
31:29Oh, okay.
31:30That makes you feel a lot better.
31:32Yeah, and I think he'd love you.
31:33He'd best hurry up then.
31:36Cheers.
31:37Cheers, darling.
31:38Cheers to us and the boys.
31:40Yeah, darling.
31:40Wherever they are.
31:41Talking of which, here comes Charlotte's fella now.
31:44It's her previous date, Travis.
31:47Fancy seeing you here.
31:49I'll check you out.
31:51Hello, hello.
31:52What's your name?
31:53Victoria.
31:53Me too.
31:54I'm Charlie.
31:55Lovely to meet you.
31:56Oh, my God.
31:57I love that it's Chavez.
31:58There's just so much chemistry between us.
32:00Last time he saw trashy Charlotte.
32:03Now he's gonna see classy Charlotte.
32:08So far, Frankie's managed to rein in his creepy compliments.
32:12Look at that little dimple you got there.
32:14No, that little dimple's mental, innit?
32:17Look at it, mate.
32:19We're gonna have to name it.
32:20Spoke too soon.
32:21Name it.
32:22Clive.
32:23Clive?
32:23Clive lives in the cheek.
32:25You what?
32:26That is the weirdest shit I've ever heard in my entire life.
32:29Exactly.
32:30Gary or Pete for a dimple.
32:31I'm a pretty weird geezer.
32:33You actually look fantastic again.
32:37I've done it too much last time.
32:39I felt creepy last time.
32:41But you do actually just look amazing, mate.
32:44You should know.
32:45See, that's better.
32:47This is actually going really well.
32:49Now I know she wants a bit, I feel cooler and all.
32:52Might have to step up the flirting a bit.
32:53Give her a stroke.
32:54I hear that works.
32:55Oh, you've got a bit of fucking cheese on your eye.
32:57No, I'm joking.
32:59Let me get it.
33:00Let me get it.
33:00Let me get it.
33:00Let me get it.
33:01Let me get it.
33:02Let me get it.
33:02No, don't.
33:03There you go, yeah, yeah.
33:03She's got cheese on my cheek.
33:04I can't handle it.
33:06I can't handle it.
33:07Don't worry.
33:08It weren't cheese anyway.
33:09It's a bit crisp.
33:12Time's getting on and ladies man Callum still hasn't arrived.
33:16And all Charlotte's efforts to remain classy are slowly slipping away.
33:20Along with all the booze on the table.
33:22While we're waiting.
33:23Starters?
33:24Breadsticks?
33:26Let's get some shots.
33:27Oh, silly me.
33:28I need to get this bloody party started while we're waiting for Callum.
33:32He needs to hurry the fuck up.
33:35Oh, baby.
33:37What are we going to toast to me?
33:39Are you prepared to like see a very drunk girl right now?
33:42Oh, darling.
33:43You've not seen anything yet.
33:49Quick wretch at the table.
33:50Always a sign of a sophisticated night.
33:53Don't worry Nadia.
33:54They were proper classy shots.
33:56They came in posh glasses and everything.
33:58I mean, I've had a lot of shots in my time, but that's something else.
34:02I reckon you and Callum are going to get on really well, but I just hope he shows up.
34:05Imagine if he didn't.
34:07He's obviously got a bit of a bad reputation.
34:09Oh, definitely.
34:11Like, a very bad reputation.
34:12Very bad reputation.
34:13This is getting just a little bit awkward.
34:16I'm not getting mugged off, like.
34:18No, I know, I know.
34:19You're not mugged off kind of girl.
34:20Oh, no, no, no, no.
34:21We're like brother and sister.
34:22We have kissed each other before, but a few years ago.
34:25Of course me and Callum have kissed each other.
34:28It was at a party years ago.
34:29He just grabbed my face.
34:31He just couldn't keep his hands off me.
34:33I want to pay attention to you, but I don't want to leave Victoria.
34:37He's an idiot, innit?
34:39I'm going to absolutely kill him when he gets here.
34:41It's fine.
34:41It's not been long.
34:42It's not that long.
34:43It's not been long.
34:45Where the chuffing hell is Callum?
34:47I feel so sorry for Victoria.
34:49She's just sat there like a lemon.
34:51It is not on.
34:52Should I voice note him?
34:53See where he is?
34:54Hello, my darling.
34:57Where are you?
34:58I've got an absolute belter sat in front of me waiting for you.
35:03Do you get your arse in now, okay?
35:07Don't worry.
35:07I'm sure he'll be here any minute.
35:08He's a proper gent.
35:12Coming up.
35:14Frankie keeps things chilled.
35:15I fancy the pants off her.
35:18I think I'll marry you tomorrow.
35:21And Charlotte loses her cool.
35:24It's awkward, innit?
35:25It's fucking awkward.
35:34Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating,
35:36where Frankie's date with Leeds' last Katrina
35:39has seen him being cool and not creepy.
35:41You've got a bit of fucking cheese on your mind.
35:44But no one mentioned Cheesy.
35:46And Charlotte's on a double date with Travis, Victoria,
35:49and if he ever turns up, Callum.
35:51I was brought up to be a gentleman.
35:53Even so much so that I got it tattooed on me.
35:56I'm sure he won't be long.
36:00Just like, where is he, though?
36:02He's worth the wait, Norm.
36:03He's worth the wait.
36:04This is so fucking awkward.
36:06I need to find out what was going on with Callum.
36:09I just feel so bad for her.
36:11I think I'm going to have to go with Nadia
36:13and sit and just tell her what's going on.
36:15Maybe Cal's been held up getting
36:16I am not written in front of his gentleman tattoo.
36:19Yeah, I said it.
36:21Hello?
36:21Hi, Nads.
36:23It's Charlotte.
36:24Hi, Charlotte.
36:25I've got a little bit of an issue.
36:27Well, a massive issue, really.
36:29So, obviously, you sent me and Callum on a double date.
36:32I voice noted Callum.
36:33He's not answered me.
36:34He's obviously a no-show.
36:36What the fuck is he thinking?
36:38He's just, I'm sat here and I'm like, what the fuck do I do?
36:42Trying to make her feel, like, welcome.
36:44But it's awkward, innit?
36:45It's fucking awkward.
36:47Just continue your day and just try and wipe your mind.
36:51But send her home.
36:53Right, okay, my darling.
36:54Right, I'll wish me luck.
36:55Thank you so much.
36:56I love you.
36:57Bye.
36:58I love you, bye.
37:02I love you, bye.
37:03I feel so bad.
37:04She just sat there like a third wheel.
37:07So, I've just, I've just spoken to Nawia.
37:11She's fuming.
37:12Absolutely fuming.
37:14Obviously it's been, like, over an hour now.
37:16They're not looking good.
37:18They're not looking good.
37:18Not looking good at all.
37:19Gonna.
37:20Well, obviously you're more than wealthy, stay with us.
37:22She doesn't mean that.
37:23Obviously I'm gonna take it tight a little bit.
37:25I'm just gonna leave you two for your day.
37:27I think, yeah.
37:27I think you two are honestly great together.
37:29Well, yeah. So have a good day and, um, yeah, let's just see what we're doing, yeah.
37:35I don't know why.
37:36Until we meet again.
37:37Yeah.
37:38And then there was two.
37:39And then there was two.
37:42Oh, Victoria, you never even got any dinner. That wouldn't have happened with Arj.
37:46I've never actually been stood up on a date before, so it is the first time for me.
37:50Obviously, I am annoyed. I deserve better than to be stood up on a date.
37:56You definitely do. Now get yourself home. A new date tomorrow.
38:03Meanwhile, up in Leeds, Frankie seems to have pulled off his date with Katrina by playing it cool.
38:08I fancy the pants on girl.
38:11Yeah, really playing it cool.
38:13I really fancy it.
38:15Do you just tell girls that, like, just open it, just lay out there?
38:18I don't, I don't, like, chat up with anyone.
38:21I don't...
38:22When you eventually do, do you just lay out there, just put it out there?
38:25I'm very honest, yeah, and a bit open, I think.
38:28I'll fancy the fuck out of girl, yeah.
38:31Seriously, Frank, calm it down.
38:33I think I'll marry you tomorrow.
38:35Oh, come on, Frankie, turn it in.
38:36Mrs Creepington's popping out.
38:39It's not, isn't it?
38:40No, it's not. I would.
38:42I think I'll marry you tomorrow.
38:43Hang on, did he just propose?
38:45What? I'm just trying to tell her how I feel and I think she's banging.
38:48Shorty girls like that.
38:50Afraid not, mate.
38:51Looks like Nadia and Eden are right again.
38:53God, they're good.
38:56After a disastrous start to a double date,
38:59Charlotte has Travis all to herself
39:00and plans to impress him with the new classy Miss Dawson.
39:04So, you ready?
39:05Yeah.
39:06I'm going to feed you a scallop.
39:08Ah, it's like something out of a fairy tale.
39:11It's a bit fishy.
39:13Oh, my God.
39:15I like that we're, like, dead attracted to each other now.
39:17I get butterflies with you.
39:19Do you actually?
39:20I mean, like, I've had a lot of fun.
39:22I don't get nervous, but you made me nervous.
39:26Probably because she made you walk home in your pants.
39:28I was more nervous for this date than I was for the first time.
39:31Ah, were your lucky boxers in the wash?
39:33I didn't know it was you,
39:34so I was, like, I was hoping it was you.
39:37Travis is just so sexy.
39:40I just want to snog his face off,
39:42but I'm trying to rein it in.
39:44I'm trying to be classy Charlotte
39:46and keep my hands to myself.
39:48Well done, Charlotte.
39:49Remember, classy.
39:51It's weird.
39:51It's like, we had two dates,
39:53but I feel like it's...
39:54I feel like we ran more.
39:56You know what I'm saying?
39:56I feel like we ran more.
39:57It's a good thing.
39:59I know it's, like, jumping a bit.
40:01What kind of wedding would you like?
40:05Fucking hell.
40:06Yeah.
40:06I remember, I never sip of the drink.
40:08You might want to down that.
40:10I want to kind of be, like, on the beach.
40:14Sunset.
40:15Clear blue sea.
40:15Castle.
40:16You want to be in a castle?
40:17I can just picture our medieval wedding.
40:21Me riding on a big stallion
40:23and Travis waving his massive sword.
40:27So, like, do you want to, like, have you, like...
40:29Medieval.
40:29You want to find some fuck?
40:31You want to give me an axe out?
40:32You know what I'm saying?
40:33Yeah.
40:33Now, that sounds like an episode of
40:35Don't Tell the Bride I Want to See.
40:38So, with Charlotte's hallowed wedding spread in the bag,
40:41let's see if Frankie is still managing to play it cool.
40:44Do you fancy me?
40:46That'll be a no, then.
40:47Oh, God.
40:49Oh, Frankie's having a shocker here.
40:52I'm not one of those people who say I fancy you,
40:54I don't fancy you.
40:55I don't know.
40:56I just...
40:56I'm not the sort of person who can handle that sort of shit.
40:59Oh, God.
41:00I'm getting the right hump now.
41:02She obviously ain't that into me.
41:03Not as much as I'm into her anyway.
41:05She's just giving me nothing.
41:07What do you want me to tell you to make it happen?
41:09No, I don't want you to tell me nothing.
41:10Okay.
41:11That's a lie.
41:11He wants you to say you'll be Mrs. Kokosa.
41:14I feel like you don't give me anything.
41:17Like, I don't...
41:17What do you expect somebody to do, say,
41:19Oh, my God.
41:20I'm in love with you.
41:22Well, probably the geezer did just propose.
41:24Second, everything all all right?
41:26Yeah, can I grab the bill, yeah?
41:28Cheers, mate.
41:29Nice one.
41:30I just need to do one now.
41:32I can't really handle it.
41:33I think she's a bit of a head fuck.
41:34Right, let's go anyway.
41:36Let's go.
41:37Go, right, Mesh.
41:41Thanks for being so lovely.
41:43Take care of yourself, all right?
41:44Take it easy, all right?
41:47So Frankie's very much back on the market,
41:49but Charlotte's still enjoying a civilised evening
41:52with her X-rated Prince Charming.
41:54Our first day was a bit wild,
41:56and a bit kind of like...
41:57I got a bit out of control, but I like that.
41:59It was nice.
41:59I'm just trying to be classy tonight, aren't I?
42:01Trying to show you a different side.
42:03I'm not going to lie, like...
42:04You like this side?
42:05I'm not going to try to the classic side.
42:07I'm not going to lie.
42:07I like you for you, innit?
42:10I like you for you.
42:11I can't bloody win.
42:12The agents want me to be classy, Charlotte,
42:15and he wants me to be trashy, Charlotte.
42:18Right, I'll tell you what I am, man.
42:19What?
42:19But the business you met is me,
42:22but obviously this one's just more toned down.
42:24I don't know.
42:25This is boring or...
42:27Boring?
42:28Boring?
42:29Boring?
42:29Is he honestly calling me boring?
42:33That outfit is anything but boring.
42:36I'm in a restaurant full of posh swans, right?
42:40And I'm just trying to be killed.
42:41Pop classy, you know that.
42:43Oh, fuck it, then.
42:45Fuck you.
42:45Let's, um...
42:47Pull it in.
42:47Shove it in.
42:48Go on, shove it in.
42:49That's the best way to do it.
42:50Just shove it in.
42:51All right, I'll shove it in, then.
42:53Oh, maybe just take it home and eat it there.
43:02Don't know what to eat first, the scampi or you.
43:05Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
43:06Are we still talking about the food?
43:09Fuck the agents.
43:10If he wants trashy Charlotte, he's getting trashy Charlotte.
43:15I feel like you're the only person that I've, like, really connected with, like...
43:21And I just, like, love everything about you.
43:23And I just, like, love your personality.
43:26That's good.
43:26And obviously you're so fucking sexy.
43:29That's why I eat, yeah?
43:37Oh, man, I feel like a goose, bro.
43:40Now, that is what I call a dessert.
43:44He's just so chuffing, sexy.
43:48Oh, that's such a good night.
43:50Thank you so much.
43:51So next time.
43:52So next.
43:53I said this to next time.
43:59To be continued.
44:01Good job.
44:04And I'm feeling good.
44:09Tomorrow night.
44:11All I can think about is this way ball.
44:13It's double trouble.
44:14We're fucked.
44:15As our celebs.
44:16Do you have any children?
44:17Go.
44:18Let's make my day.
44:19Dating.
44:20Don't know if I'm awful crying.
44:21Oh, yeah.
44:22Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.