- 21 minutes ago
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00:00Ma, you there?
00:42Get another bottle of scotch, Simon. That one's gonna be empty.
00:45Well, it weren't when I just looked.
00:46Well, it is now, all right?
00:48Oh, what? You're setting the pace for the punters today, then?
00:50And that glass needs another rinse. It's got lipstick on the rim, all right?
00:53And there's only two tonics in the freezer. Bring another plate in.
00:55Why not stick a broom between my legs and sweep the floor and all, eh?
00:57Look, loose talk makes for loose teeth. Give it here, I'll do it.
01:00Then what's the matter? Have you got the needle with me?
01:02Yeah, have you cleared your room out? No.
01:04Well, when you do, let us know and I'll give you a hand with your stuff over the lofty's, all
01:06right?
01:06Who is this visitor of yours, then? Is it President Marcos?
01:08Mind your own business.
01:09Well, is he a relative?
01:11Yeah, he's a distant cousin, if you must know.
01:12Well, how long's he gonna be staying?
01:13Well, I've no idea.
01:14Well, just roughly like... Look, I've told you, I've no idea.
01:16So what am I supposed to tell Lofty, then?
01:17Well, you've slept with a guy before. He knows you ain't got any contagious diseases.
01:20All right, then what's his name, then, this cousin?
01:21Simon, I suggest you stop asking questions and you go pack cases. All right.
01:31Who is he, then?
01:32Well, it's better if you don't know.
01:35Look, I've never seen you written this stuff so early in the morning. Who's coming tonight?
01:39Well, it ain't certainly is coming, are you?
01:41It was certain enough to keep you awake all night. Now, who is it?
01:44Look, he's a mate of the Vinnicum Brothers, all right? I don't know his name, but I owe him a
01:47favour.
01:47This is their way of collecting it. Are you satisfied?
01:49I'm sorry, Mrs. Cotton, but we do have good reason to believe that a fraud has been perpetrated on your
01:55account.
01:56Have you examined your chequebook?
01:58Yes, yes, I have. I mean, there's nothing missing. It shouldn't be.
02:02May I see it, please?
02:05Oh, I must have left it at home. You never said to bring it.
02:09You have been careful to examine all the pages.
02:13Look, the flesh may be weak, but I'm hardly a candidate for the funny farm, you know.
02:17Of course not, Mrs. Cotton. All I'm saying is that cheques may have been stolen.
02:21You see, they take them out at irregular intervals.
02:27What I'm saying is that you moneylenders are fast losing the public confidence.
02:30I mean, it's as easy as cracking eggs.
02:32What is, Mrs. Cotton?
02:33Robbing a bank. I mean, have you seen this?
02:35Hardly a day goes by and nothing's done to protect the public's money.
02:40What are you going to do about it, Mr. Makepeace?
02:42What can I do about it, Mrs. Cotton?
02:43Well, you can start arming your staff with submachine guns for a start.
02:47Look, Mrs. Cotton, I have here four cheques in your name.
02:50A sum of £165 withdrawn from your account.
02:54£165? Well, I've never signed then.
02:55We now know that, Mrs. Cotton.
02:57Well, what do you pay them for?
02:58The man who presented the cheques was very clever.
03:01The man?
03:02Chose his cashiers carefully for their age and inexperience.
03:05Ones who he calculated wouldn't know that D. Cotton is a woman.
03:10Oh, dear.
03:11Unfortunately for him, when he presented a fifth cheque,
03:13he chose a cashier who knew you and she refused to honour it.
03:18Now, have you any idea who this man might be?
03:21Well, how should I know? I mean, I'm not clairvoyant.
03:24He was in his twenties, black hair, slimly built,
03:29a narrow face and clean shaven.
03:32Well, that's not much help, is it? I mean, there's hundreds like that.
03:35He was wearing jeans, a black leather jacket and a single silver earring.
03:43Hey, Mary. How are you?
03:45Hello. Where are you off to?
03:48Look, I've got something for you.
03:50Go on. Take it. On account.
03:52On account of what?
03:54On account of a business partnership about to be signed, sealed and delivered, OK?
03:57No, Nick. I'm not going on the game. I've decided.
04:00Well, why not? Give me one good reason, eh?
04:03Because it's dirty and it's degrading. There's two.
04:05But you'd be helping people, Mary. People who can't help themselves.
04:08What, like perverts and dirty old men in raincoats?
04:11They're not what I call people.
04:12But it ain't like that, Mary. I mean, listen.
04:15A lot of the customers are old or disabled.
04:17There's always people in this life who are deprived of physical contact through no thought of their own.
04:22Have you thought of that?
04:24Well, nobody ever does.
04:25Good-looking bird like you. Bring a lot of happiness into their lives, eh?
04:28Go on.
04:29Go on.
04:32Go on.
04:33Go, go, go.
04:37Den. I've just been shopping.
04:39Yeah. Buy anything for dinner?
04:40No. But what I saw, a clean took away my appetite. The square is swarming with filth, acting on information.
04:45You're exaggerating. I ain't been here yet.
04:47Well, it's only a matter of time. What if your cousin turns up? We're gonna be left holding the baby.
04:55Queen Vic.
04:58Wrong number.
04:59Look, we're just going to have to front it out.
05:00You can't expect Sharon to front it out.
05:02What if the old Bill's start interrogating her?
05:04I mean, distant cousin. She's not stupid, you know.
05:07Look, she's just going to have to manage, right?
05:08This is neck on the chopping block time. It ain't a vicarage tea party.
05:11Everything all right? See anything we can do for you?
05:13No, I can manage, thank you, Dan.
05:14Good.
05:15She's got enough to cope with with you and Jan.
05:17Jan and I is over.
05:18Oh, really? Moving back in here permanently, are we?
05:20Yes, got it in one.
05:22Till the guest moves out.
05:23And you have a very jealous, vindictive mind.
05:25One day he's going to earn you a surprise backhand.
05:27It's Sharon I'm thinking of, darling, not me.
05:29Oh, yeah?
05:30Is that why you pulled the Celtic Casanova, eh?
05:32And what are you going to say when she finds you on the job with him?
05:34It's all right, darling, we're just having a caber-tossing competition.
05:37I shall tell her the truth.
05:38But he's a kind and a sensitive man, unlike her dear father.
05:41Yeah, we'll be a physical wreck if he comes within clinching distance of you next time.
05:44Really? That's not what you said 24 hours ago, is it?
05:47Well, 24 hours is a very long time in the bankrupt marriage, Ange. A very long time.
05:50Ours is not a bankrupt marriage. We're just a wee bit on the overdrawn side.
05:53Den, are you listening to me?
05:54Yes, my love. And it is going in one ear and out the other one.
06:00Are you in?
06:03Nick?
06:08Nick?
06:40No good asking me when any strange face around here stick out like a sore thumb. What can I get
06:45you, Doc?
06:46You haven't seen my Nick about by any chance, have you?
06:48No, not recently. Much likely lying low for a few days.
06:51What do you mean, lying low?
06:52To the boys in Blue Air Retreat. Had you noticed the human population explosion?
06:56Yes, well, I mean, my Nick ain't got no reason to be scared the likes of him. He's a reformed
07:00character.
07:02So what do you think I ought to do, April?
07:05Are you sure you still love him?
07:06Yes, I'm sure. He's in my blood, unfortunately.
07:09You're out about blood transfusion.
07:12I'm serious.
07:13I know, I'm sorry, Ange.
07:14But the things you've described that go on between you and Dennis, I think they're just terrible.
07:19I know. He reckons he's going to put her in cold storage.
07:22Oh, like a piece of meat?
07:24Yeah, shut the door and throw away the key.
07:25Yeah.
07:26What's he going to do when he's angry?
07:28Well, there's no guarantee she's going to thaw out in his arms, is there?
07:31Yeah. You tell me. I've never been that close to Dennis' arms, meself.
07:36She'll find someone else, won't she?
07:38Someone of her own class and education. I mean, God knows what they talk about, the pair of them, when
07:41they're together.
07:42Pauline!
07:44I've had me bingo winning stolen.
07:47You haven't seen Nick, have you?
07:49Well, that's funny, Dot. There was a cop in here a couple of minutes ago asking exactly the same thing.
07:52What's he been up to?
07:58Now, that's what I call a family tragedy.
08:00At least the love of your life doesn't hang around with villains, does he?
08:04I think Nick's got a point. Women on the game aren't just in it for the money.
08:09No, there's the body lice and the scabies too. I mean, I'm sure they enjoy them as well.
08:14What would you do for sex if you were suddenly disabled in an accident?
08:18You see, people don't just stop feeling Randy because they're confined to a wheelchair, you know.
08:22Nick Cotton's going to be confined to a mortuary when I get my hands on them, never mind a wheelchair.
08:25Yeah, well, you've just got it in for him, haven't you?
08:27Look, Mary, Nick is about one step up from my social disease. I keep well away from him.
08:32Well, he says that I can make a lot of old men happy. You know, give them something to live
08:36for him now.
08:37You mean you'd steal half their pension in exchange for a quick blast in the dark?
08:40No. No, I'm not a grabber, Andy. I just treat every case on its merits.
08:45So what would you do then, eh? Ask to see the most recent bank statement so you could fix the
08:49price? Oh, come on, Mary.
08:50Andy, I haven't got a job, have I? And I need some money. Now where are you going?
08:55I'm going to find your guardian angel. He's not going to avoid answering for this one, I'll tell you.
09:05Just for Scannell sent me, Mrs. Osmond, to have you fill an envelope. I think you'll recall what goes in
09:11it.
09:11I thought that game was over. Oh, it is. This is a new one. It's called Double Your Money.
09:21Where have you been? Looking for answers. What, under a certain gentleman's kilt?
09:25Not in front of the Panthers, do you?
09:32Yeah, come in a bit. Yeah, yeah. Dan Watt speaking.
09:36Yeah, it's all right. I'm here on my own, yeah.
09:39Yes. Yeah, the room's ready, yeah.
09:43Look, you do realise the place he's crawling with police, do you?
09:48Okay. Yeah, fine.
09:53Excuse me.
09:54If that was our friend, he'll be here at...
09:56Morning. Morning.
09:57Oh, Sarge, you all right?
09:58Yeah.
10:00Six o'clock, shut up.
10:03Hey!
10:04You!
10:04Hang on, now.
10:05Hang on, mate. I think you've got another affair.
10:07What's all this about?
10:08Vote Minis, if you didn't know.
10:10Oh, yeah? The one who had the little lamb?
10:12No, no. The one you're sending at Shepard's Market to sell her body. That one.
10:15Who might you be? B.I.T. Collector.
10:18How much are you in it for, then, big shot, eh?
10:2020%? 50?
10:22Oh, I get it.
10:23You want a piece of her, eh?
10:24You're a male nurse.
10:25Access to dozens of hot-blooded invulids.
10:28Now you can make a deal.
10:29Look, Cotton, you keep well away from me.
10:31If I catch you within 100 yards of her,
10:33I won't be responsible for the dents I put in your face.
10:36You couldn't put a dent in a strawberry boumange.
10:38Oh, no?
10:38Nah.
10:38Hang on, look!
10:42Great cotton.
10:45Yeah, all right. You get dressed now, I love you.
10:52Thanks, Doc.
10:53I was supposed to be at a jumble 20 minutes ago.
10:55Oh, shopping for anything special?
10:56Well, stuff for the baby, you know.
10:58Uh-huh.
10:58If you see Michelle, don't tell her, eh?
11:00Because it's supposed to be a surprise.
11:02So, what's the score?
11:03Can't say on the basis of blood pressure and heart tests.
11:05Well, no, but am I fit enough?
11:07I mean, I've got the medical light myself, you know?
11:09I see no reason why not.
11:10I mean, you don't exactly need a Rambo physique to be a traffic warden, do you?
11:13Just as well, really, eh?
11:15But I want to see those chest x-rays.
11:16All right.
11:17So pop in when they're done, and I'll have time for a proper chat then.
11:20You don't tell me anything now?
11:22Yeah, there is one thing.
11:24I think you'll make Michelle an excellent husband.
11:26Do you?
11:27Yeah.
11:28Oh, thanks, Doc.
11:29I'll see you.
11:32I told you not to go out and leave the door on a latch.
11:34I never did.
11:35It's you.
11:36Look, Ma, I know you're upset.
11:38Don't try to soft-soap me.
11:39Hand over the money.
11:41Ethel, Lou, Mary, Lofty.
11:44What about them?
11:45Well, they've all been around here recently.
11:47Do you remember leaving any of them on their own in here?
11:49Oh, as a matter of fact.
11:51And how do you explain the missing checks, clever dick?
11:54Forged signatures and cashed?
11:56Sharp practice.
11:57Yeah, too sharp for Ethel.
11:59And the bank manager gave me a full description of who cashed them.
12:02I told the old bill about him.
12:04Not yet.
12:04How do you know it's him?
12:05Well, it usually is, ain't it?
12:07Look, I'm starving.
12:08Any chance of a cheese sandwich?
12:09Oh, you remind me of your father at times like me.
12:12You do.
12:13At times like what?
12:13When you're on the defensive.
12:15Hold up, Ma.
12:16Don't touch anything.
12:17You might have left fingerprints.
12:18Yes, cold ones all over my heart.
12:21Look, what you should do is write down all the relevant information.
12:24How you found the drawers, the bank's description of it.
12:26What for?
12:27We don't want to waste time.
12:29When the bill gets here, do we?
12:30What's the matter?
12:31Oh, your shirt's all torn.
12:33Your face is bruised here.
12:35What's happened?
12:35It's nothing, Ma.
12:36Just a friendly ruck.
12:37Pull your shirt up.
12:41Oh, there's nothing friendly about that.
12:43You might have internal bleeding.
12:45Who did it?
12:46I didn't see her face.
12:47A couple of geezers jumped me down a back street in Shepherd's Market.
12:50Stole two lousy quid out of my pocket.
12:52Oh, sit down, son.
12:53Let me bathe your wounds.
12:55No, Ma, don't we?
12:55Look, I call the bill first.
12:56We need them, yeah?
12:57No, never mind about the bill.
12:59You're else more important.
13:01Oh, to think I'm too full of me own problems to notice that me only son's in pain.
13:05Oh, let that be a lesson to you, Dorothy Cotton.
13:07May God forgive you for your self-indulgence.
13:11Hey, mate.
13:12Sorry.
13:12Oi, where's Ange got you?
13:14Just popped out to see Lou.
13:15Oh, give her permission, did you?
13:17Oh, excuse me for breathing.
13:1892 people.
13:19And yours doing, mate?
13:20Yeah, you don't seem yourself today.
13:22Now, tie them up.
13:23I'll have a double scotch, all right?
13:26Oh, let me get out of my way, please.
13:29Yeah, come in, Vic.
13:30It's all right, Wixie.
13:31I've got it.
13:34Oh, you won't be able to make it till later.
13:36Well, how much later?
13:39My Albert had a fling once, you know.
13:41Picked up with a spinster, ten years his senior.
13:45What, on the quiet, was it?
13:47For a while, till the butcher next door told me.
13:51She used to work behind the counter.
13:54In Cohen's grocery shop.
13:56Got knocked down when they built them I-Ride's flats.
13:59Before your time.
14:00How'd it happen?
14:01Well, the way these things do.
14:05Starts with a nod and a wink, you know.
14:07Albert used to do my shopping there.
14:09That was in the days of ration books and austerity.
14:12It started off with an extra gear,
14:15a bucksie slice of bacon there.
14:18Albert was expected to show his gratitude.
14:21I see.
14:22I see.
14:22Nothing serious then, just a bit of cuddling on the side.
14:25It was serious for her to get in the family way.
14:27Thank God she was a sickly creature.
14:30She couldn't carry it more than four months.
14:32Nobody knew.
14:33Well, what happened?
14:35Well, we started shopping at the co-op.
14:37We had 42 years of loving and loyal marriage.
14:41He was a marvellous man.
14:42Oh, there must be a message there somewhere, Lou.
14:46Well, he knew I never made idle frets.
14:51I was meant exactly what I said.
14:53And in my opinion,
14:56no relationship can exist without that kind of rule.
15:00Oh, blimey!
15:02Here, what's up, Arthur?
15:04What are you cursing for?
15:05I've cut me thumb.
15:07Here, let me see.
15:08Here, you know what they say about a bad workman.
15:11Yeah, they blame their mother-in-law
15:12for asking him to mend her shoes.
15:14Now, come on, Harry.
15:15Look, you're not going to expire without asking my spirit, Lou.
15:19Yes, take it down.
15:19I'll let myself out at the same time.
15:21And, sweetheart, thanks for the little chat, eh?
15:23Arthur, if you need a blood transfusion,
15:25I'm rhesus negative, all right?
15:27See ya.
15:27Yeah.
15:28Hello, darling.
15:29Funny girl, that Angie.
15:30Even her blood's got a personality disorder.
15:32Oh, sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
15:34Only Arthur's deaf-rattle.
15:35You'll pass me that quick.
15:37I'm sorry, Michelle ain't back from the antenatal clinic yet.
15:39Oh, look, it was Arthur I come to see, actually.
15:41Mrs. Bill.
15:42Call him private, if possible.
15:43Oh, in that case,
15:44I'll leave you two gentlemen to your port and cigars.
15:48What do you mean by that?
15:49It means she doesn't like not being the centre of attention
15:51in her own home.
15:52Now then, what can I do for you, Kevin?
15:55I'm a very busy man,
15:56and I've only got five or six days to give you.
15:58Why, what's that?
15:59I'm signing me card again, aren't I?
16:01You know, the one that's marked
16:02counterfeit human being embossed on the top.
16:04Oh, there's nothing counterfeit about you, Arthur.
16:06Oh, no?
16:06You know, see this smold?
16:08That's the sun before the monsoon.
16:10Any minute now,
16:11the roof's gonna come caving in
16:12and we'll be flooded out of our snow.
16:14Oh, no, I'm sure you'll get another job.
16:16No, no, not me.
16:17I'm clapped out.
16:18Useless.
16:18It's sod's law,
16:19and I've been told to sod off.
16:21No, it's DIY
16:22and bandaged thumbs for me
16:24from now on.
16:25Look, you've got to resist this self-pity.
16:26It'll drain your energy.
16:28Look, it's essential
16:28you stay in touch with your anger.
16:30Who says?
16:31My mate, Harry.
16:32Black and blue all over you.
16:34I've left him at home
16:35in bed with a fever.
16:37Who was it who said
16:38when troubles come
16:39they come not as single spies
16:41but in battalions?
16:42Bill Marshall Montgomery.
16:44What's the matter, Doc?
16:45Your nerves all frayed.
16:46Have a tomato juice on the ass, eh?
16:48Frayed?
16:48They've come undone at the seams.
16:49I'll have him and this little brandy
16:51alongside, just this one.
16:53I narrowly avoided Kelvin this morning.
16:55Has he been giving you
16:55the gospel according to St Harry again?
16:57Yeah, he's now a citizen
16:57that asked him for a minimum wage
16:59of three pound an hour.
17:00He won't give you that.
17:01He'll just give you the sack
17:02for giving you lip.
17:03Yeah, I think that's the idea, isn't it?
17:04Then you can play into
17:05an industrial tribunal.
17:06Get reinstated.
17:08Then then get slagged off
17:08in a local rag
17:09and every other publican
17:10in the borough house
17:10to up staff wages
17:11to stop it happening to them.
17:13Well, what's in it for Kelvin?
17:14Apart from brandy strikes for Mary.
17:16Love.
17:18As in a kiss and a cuddle?
17:20It's not unusual
17:21for adolescent boys
17:21to fall in love, you know?
17:23Tell me more.
17:25Caught them bank robbers yet, then?
17:27We soon will have.
17:28Listen, Ethel tells me
17:29you've had a sum of money stolen.
17:30Are you intending to report it
17:31to the police?
17:32I'm thinking about it.
17:33Well, don't think too long,
17:34will you, eh?
17:35You want the culprit apprehended?
17:36Oh, I know who the culprit is already.
17:38Really?
17:38Yeah, I've had a short list of suspects.
17:40They've flown locked here at the top.
17:42Oh, Bonnie and Clyde themselves,
17:43I'll get you're meant
17:43to tread a bit careful there, Speedy.
17:45How much has gone missing?
17:46100 quid.
17:47Five £20 notes.
17:49Brand new notes, really?
17:50Yeah, as a matter of fact.
17:52If you could organise
17:53a discreet search
17:54off Ethel and Lofty's owns,
17:56I'd be very grateful.
17:57That's funny,
17:58because just before opening time
17:59there was a joker here
18:00trying to cast a brand new £20 note.
18:01Who?
18:02Your son, Nick.
18:05Look, Arthur,
18:05mass unemployment
18:06ain't just caused by
18:06a shift in the market forces.
18:08What's it caused by, then?
18:09Fairies at the bottom of my allotment.
18:10No, it's a deliberate policy
18:11being used by this government
18:12to intimidate the workforces.
18:14Harry says it's a message
18:15to the trade unions.
18:16Modify your wage demands,
18:17work hard
18:18or you'll end up
18:18as part of the daybreak.
18:20Hiya.
18:21Oh, Shell.
18:22Thank God you're here.
18:23Save my ear on
18:24from terminal damage.
18:25I'm up for a breath of fresh air.
18:26He keeps talking about
18:27his mate Harry.
18:31Kelvin, who is this, Harry?
18:32What does he mean to you?
18:33Well, he's my mate,
18:34I've told you.
18:35Well, love you, mate.
18:35You don't go quoting me
18:36all over the square.
18:40Yeah.
18:42Yeah.
18:42Yeah.
18:43I mean, I'll understand.
18:43You can tell me.
18:44Oh, marvellous.
18:45Two men can't talk
18:46over a few political issues
18:47without the neighbours
18:48assuming that they're
18:49having it away.
18:50Well, I mean,
18:50politics isn't what
18:51normal people base
18:52a relationship on, is it?
18:53What is a normal person, Shell?
18:55You?
18:56Lofty?
18:56Don't make me laugh.
18:57Look, Harry got his brain
18:58in gear early.
18:59He read when I played
19:00and yes,
19:00yes, I do love him.
19:02But for his commitment,
19:02anyway, there's not just him,
19:03there's Tessa as well.
19:04And she's even more
19:05stimulating than Harry.
19:06Do you mean, stimulating?
19:08Well, what do you think
19:09I mean?
19:09Are you going out with her?
19:11Yes.
19:12But me and Tessa
19:12are building something
19:13that you and your dad
19:14will ever understand.
19:15And what's that?
19:16The future!
19:18Well, what if Lofty
19:19ain't back here?
19:19Oh, it's all right.
19:20He's given me a key.
19:21Yeah, look,
19:22you make your own way.
19:23All right,
19:23I've got some unfinished
19:24business I've got to attend to.
19:27Oi, Florence Nightingale.
19:28I have a word with you.
19:28Come here.
19:29Are you talking to me?
19:30Yeah, don't go
19:30booking those summer holidays
19:31this year.
19:32Oh, yeah?
19:32Why not?
19:33You might not live that long.
19:34Dan, you never stop me
19:35as the melodramatic type.
19:36I always thought
19:37you dealt straight
19:38from the top of the pack.
19:39And this belongs to me.
19:40I don't want no
19:40aggis basher sticking
19:41his oar in.
19:41You're a habit of it, Dan.
19:43Angie's sweet to love
19:44however she wants.
19:44Go away.
19:46Oi, leave it out, then.
19:48You should know better
19:48than pushing a member
19:49of the weaker sex about.
19:50Yeah.
19:51You're obviously
19:52out of condition, my son.
19:53Obviously ducking
19:54instead of weaving.
19:55Tell you what,
19:56I can recommend
19:56a good gymnasium
19:57in Plasto.
19:58All right.
20:01You know something, Angie?
20:02Dan ain't said
20:03a nice word to me all day.
20:05I know, darling.
20:06He's got something
20:06on his mind.
20:08Between you and me,
20:09I think he's at the end
20:09of his rope.
20:11Yeah, look,
20:11I know that ain't
20:11none of my business.
20:12That's right, darling.
20:13It's none of your business.
20:15You right about it at all?
20:17Me?
20:18No, I'm just a bit upset
20:19about falling out with Kath.
20:21Do you think she'll make up?
20:22Yeah, of course.
20:23She just turned out
20:24to make the first move,
20:24that's all.
20:25Yeah.
20:25Who does, eh?
20:32I have a message
20:34for Mr. Watts.
20:35Is he in?
20:36No, he's in the bath
20:37as it happens.
20:38Who's it from?
20:39His cousin.
20:41Do you want to leave it
20:41with me?
20:42No.
20:43I'll wait.
20:47Watcher.
20:48Hiya.
20:51How'd it go?
20:51All right, I think.
20:52Well, apart from
20:53the cold Watsuit
20:53on me nipples.
20:54No strange wheezes
20:55or vital parts of the sea?
20:56No, I don't think so.
20:57I should be here
20:57with a starting date
20:58next week.
20:59Oh, well.
21:00I've got to stop
21:01by three different policemen
21:02on my way over here
21:02from the Vic.
21:03Yeah, there's something
21:04going on over there,
21:05isn't there?
21:05So I hear.
21:06Apparently,
21:07Angie's bearing
21:07more than her soul
21:08to one of the punters.
21:09No, no, not that.
21:10Den's ordered Wixie
21:11to come and live
21:11at my house.
21:13So that Andy
21:14can move in?
21:14No, I think...
21:16Well, Wixie reckons
21:17it's one of, well,
21:18you know, one of Den's mates.
21:20A villain?
21:21Hmm.
21:22In Albert Square.
21:23Lovely place
21:24to bring a baby into.
21:26Yeah, well, look,
21:27cheer up, Rachel.
21:28Look, look at all this stuff
21:29I've got down the jumble.
21:30All seconds, all unused.
21:32Oh, still quality.
21:33Yeah, he's gonna look
21:34really smart, ain't he?
21:35He?
21:36What makes you think
21:37he's gonna be a he?
21:38Well, she then.
21:39I mean, it's only
21:40a manner of speech, isn't it?
21:41Yeah, well, look,
21:42blue isn't exactly
21:43a traditional female colour,
21:44is it?
21:45And look at that.
21:46He's got a car on it.
21:48Oh, yeah.
21:49Yeah, well, look,
21:50never mind, hey, look,
21:50I've got some toys
21:51and all for when
21:51he gets a bit older.
21:52Then she gets a bit older.
21:54You know, the baby and that.
21:55Look, comes with
21:56all the bits and that.
21:59Here.
22:00Simon, do us a favour,
22:01will you?
22:02When you get him in it,
22:02will you see that
22:03Kath gets this for me?
22:04Yeah, all right.
22:05Thanks.
22:06Shouldn't he be here
22:06by now, then?
22:07Well, that's probably him now,
22:09Noel.
22:10Look, poor old Nick.
22:12Where did it happen?
22:12The Jeppard's Market,
22:14the evil place.
22:15You ever been there?
22:16No.
22:16You don't want to.
22:17Positively smells
22:18of carnality.
22:20That was Tommy Bruce
22:21from the Fox.
22:21He reckons this place
22:22is crawling with police
22:23and they're heading this way.
22:24Well, if this geezer
22:25turns up,
22:25he's going to stand up
22:26like a giraffe
22:26in a supermarket.
22:27Like a what?
22:28You heard.
22:30Is it the governor
22:31you want to see, mate?
22:32Oh, very funny.
22:33I paint a lager
22:34for this week, too.
22:34Andy!
22:35So, it's you
22:35under them shades.
22:36What's that?
22:40You're on your way
22:41and you know very well.
22:42Well, who is, then?
22:43And don't say my Nick.
22:44I wasn't going to.
22:47I know Nick's a bit fly,
22:49but he wouldn't steal
22:49from his own mum.
22:51No son would.
22:52That's my reckoning.
22:53But confidentially,
22:55if I hadn't been witness
22:55to his birth,
22:56I'd have swore
22:57he'd come out
22:57of another woman's womb.
23:00Here, Cat,
23:00do you think Arthur
23:01looks inadequate?
23:02No.
23:03Just a bit dog-eared.
23:06Here, Cathy.
23:08Special delivery
23:08from a secret of Mara,
23:09all right?
23:10Here.
23:10You know what
23:11Kelvin told Arthur?
23:12He said the reason
23:13why his life
23:14seems so empty
23:14now he's unemployed
23:15is because he's got
23:16no class analysis
23:17to fill it.
23:18Work is the curse
23:19of the drinking class.
23:20That's the only piece
23:21of analysis
23:21relevant to us, Arthur.
23:22Another one?
23:23You bet.
23:23All right.
23:26Is that a love letter?
23:27Oh, sort of.
23:29Here, listen.
23:30Dearest Cat,
23:31it's true that
23:32sorry is the hardest word,
23:34but I am.
23:35Desperately.
23:36And I need you
23:37to be my friend
23:37more than ever.
23:38Love, Angie.
23:39Angie.
23:41Oh, Wange.
23:42Oh, mate.
23:44Oh, I don't deserve
23:45such a reception.
23:46I've been too hard on you.
23:47No, you haven't, girl.
23:48Not hard enough.
23:49You gave me exactly
23:49what I deserved
23:50and I ain't complaining.
23:51Yeah, but you bounce back,
23:52mate.
23:53You've got guts.
23:54I admire that.
23:55Well, somebody around here
23:56has got to have guts,
23:56haven't they?
23:58But what's going on?
24:00It looks like he's
24:00about to lay an egg
24:01or something.
24:02He's worse than that,
24:03Cat.
24:03We're expecting a guest.
24:06I don't think
24:06I like the sound of that.
24:08How long's he staying for?
24:09That's the trouble.
24:10We ain't been told yet.
24:11But one thing's for sure,
24:12he'll be keeping
24:13Janet a safe distance
24:14when he's here.
24:16Well, let's hope he stays
24:16for a long time,
24:17then, mate.
24:19If Dad,
24:19can I have a word now, mate?
24:21Yeah, take your weight
24:22off your bindles.
24:23If you'd showed
24:24more affection, Cat,
24:25I would have coped.
24:26I know.
24:28I didn't mean to hurt you.
24:29It's all right, darling.
24:32Here.
24:32Andy looks like
24:33the invisible man,
24:34doesn't he?
24:35Well, I think Dan
24:35went a bit over the top
24:36there, didn't he?
24:37Well, you've got to
24:38leave him now, Ange.
24:40I can't, Cat.
24:41I've got to try
24:42one last thing.
24:44But you can't turn
24:45a frog into
24:45Prince Charming,
24:46you know?
24:47I know.
24:48But this is
24:49my last resort
24:50and this is
24:51absolutely guaranteed
24:52to get him back
24:53into my arms
24:53once and for all.
24:55Good evening.
24:58Oh, an hectic day.
25:00Eh?
25:01What, with bank robbers
25:02on the loose
25:02and Barney's in the square
25:03to sort out in between?
25:05Yeah, look,
25:05I'm sorry about that.
25:06I just lost my thought.
25:07Oh, well, no.
25:07Seems easily
25:08they lost his eyesight,
25:09didn't it?
25:09Yeah, shiny was
25:09on his head, right?
25:10Oh.
25:11All right, Sarge?
25:12Yeah, just a shade
25:13leg weary, that's all.
25:14You look positively
25:15pal to me.
25:16If I was you,
25:16I'd get that
25:17down, you'd get
25:17straight back home
25:18to bed.
25:18That's my advice.
25:19Are you sure, son?
25:21I'm positive, Dad.
25:22See, Dan's been
25:23twitching all day.
25:24If you don't speak
25:24up from yourself now,
25:25I might get them
25:26for being an accessory,
25:26haven't I?
25:27Oh, go on,
25:29run along,
25:29I can cope.
25:31I don't really
25:31want to see Lofty tonight.
25:33He's putting pressure
25:34on me.
25:34Oh?
25:36Is he asking
25:37who the father
25:37of the baby is?
25:39No, no,
25:39not in that sense.
25:41He's so kind
25:42and thoughtful.
25:44But at the same time,
25:45I feel like he's
25:45invading my space,
25:46you know?
25:48I mean, he's
25:48anticipating my needs
25:49even before I began
25:50to realise what
25:50they are myself.
25:52I'm beginning to think
25:53he's some sort of saint.
25:55And I dislike myself
25:56for being so critical
25:57of him, but
25:57I can't help it.
25:59He's smothering me
26:00in affection.
26:02You just do like him,
26:04don't you?
26:05Of course I do.
26:06I mean,
26:09you do fancy him.
26:11He ain't just
26:12a big brother.
26:14Well, we haven't
26:15really had the opportunity
26:16to get our act together,
26:17have we?
26:17How would I know?
26:19He needs too much
26:19of a gentleman
26:20to push me
26:20before we're married.
26:22I don't know
26:23what to do.
26:25You know,
26:26my Albert
26:26used to have a friend
26:27up north,
26:29and he used to say,
26:31when in doubt,
26:32do now.
26:33Do you know,
26:33I come to see
26:34that as a very
26:35wise proverb?
26:37Do you think
26:38I should say
26:38nothing to him then?
26:39Well,
26:40don't sit on
26:41your feelings.
26:43Talk about them.
26:45Give them a chance
26:46to solidify.
26:49They will,
26:50soon enough.
26:53All right.
26:55Yeah.
26:56Thanks, Gran.
26:57Love ya.
26:59Now,
27:00come along,
27:00please,
27:00ladies and gentlemen.
27:01I've got any
27:01else to go to,
27:02because I am now.
27:03Sorry.
27:03Then just put
27:04the towels up.
27:04Yeah,
27:05the filth took
27:05their time
27:06in leaving,
27:06didn't they?
27:06Can you speak
27:07that for yourself?
27:08No,
27:08I didn't have
27:08a look at those
27:09CID fellas.
27:09No,
27:10you did right there,
27:10son.
27:11Come along,
27:11please.
27:11Addy,
27:12addy,
27:12addy.
27:12It's another day
27:13tomorrow,
27:14and the door
27:14will be open
27:14at 10.30 sharp,
27:15and the first
27:16six customers
27:16for the door
27:17will get a free
27:17pint,
27:17so please,
27:18addy,
27:18addy,
27:18while stocks last.
27:20You relieved?
27:21Oh,
27:22not many,
27:22darling.
27:23Oh,
27:23you must have
27:23sweated ten
27:24pints tonight.
27:25All right,
27:25two gallons.
27:26Now,
27:26come along,
27:27Arthur,
27:27a little poser
27:27for you
27:28before you
27:28go home
27:29to your loved
27:29ones.
27:30Now,
27:30what's light
27:30on the top
27:31and dark
27:31on the bottom
27:31and sinks
27:32in a couple
27:32of seconds?
27:33How about
27:33the Titanic?
27:34How about
27:34this?
27:36Oi,
27:36that's mine.
27:37Not after
27:38ten past eleven
27:39on your way.
27:40To Watts?
27:41Yeah.
27:42Which way
27:42to my room?
27:43That's mine.
27:44That's mine.
27:45That's mine.
27:45That's mine.
27:46That's mine.
27:46That's mine.