00:11Hey, um, I don't know if you've been here before, but it's usually pretty empty if you want to...
00:17Shh! I was saying it's usually pretty empty if you want to spread out.
00:21Shh! We're gonna be sleeping.
00:23So is Finn.
00:27I just feel like we're really close together, and I would move over, but I'm already in the corners.
00:31Shh! You're gonna play my baby.
00:33I'm talking at a normal volume. Look, it's a baby and me yoga class, not nap class. I'm allowed to
00:38talk.
00:39Are you telling me how to parent?
00:40No. I'm telling you how to be a normal, nice person in the world.
00:46Namaste.
00:50Really?
00:51Nah. Me.
00:53Stay.
00:55Okay, what is your deal?
00:56It's an empty room, and you're totally in my personal space. I don't get it.
01:00Doesn't every mom crave space?
01:02Is Finn there your first?
01:04Yeah?
01:05Well, as a second time mom, let me give you some advice.
01:08Shut the fuck up before you wake up my ruby!
01:14Oh, is that all you got?
01:15I went through 52 hours and 17 minutes of labor.
01:20And yeah, those 17 minutes count.
01:22Bring it on, mother!
01:26That felt like a lover's caress.
01:27You want to talk labor pain?
01:29I gave birth to a 10-pounder in the back of an Uber.
01:35Better?
01:36That's liquid gold.
01:38Ah!
01:39That is my C-section scar.
01:42And I'm gonna rip it open like a Ziploc bag, bitch!
01:45Try me!
01:46I ate my placenta!
01:47So did I.
01:48Ha!
01:49I ate it!
01:50Rawr!
01:51Rawr!
02:10Oh!
02:11Bobby!
02:12Oh!!
02:12You muahedie!
02:13Oh, you're okay!
02:16It's so good, so gorgeous.
02:19You're so good.
02:20You okay?
02:21Mommy's here.
02:23Mommy loves you.
02:25Mommy loves you.
02:26Okay.
02:30SUBJESSA
02:49Let us begin.
02:51Deep breath in.
02:55Breathe.
03:03I said to take Sepulveda.
03:05Call my husband.
03:06No, call 911.
03:07No, call my husband.
03:08Why do you have Oreos back here?
03:09Can I have some?
03:10Can we stop for Froyo?
03:11I think I'm pooping.
03:12Am I pooping?
03:13Stop looking at me, you perv!
03:15I am a female warrior.
03:17Stop filming me!
03:20I am never taking Uber pool again.
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