Skip to playerSkip to main content
  • 5 months ago
Comedians Aparna Nancherla and Jo Firestone provide absurdist "how-to" advice on graduating high school and becoming an ADULT. They cover topics such as buying cigarettes and voting!

ABOUT RIOT
RIOT is Refinery29's new comedy destination delivering fearlessly funny series. We cover taboo topics ranging from race to class, depression to anxiety, pop culture to social justice — we're laughing with you!

RELATED CONTENT
How To Get Waxed Like Miss America
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6w9bsZVOD0
Finding The Perfect Prom Dress
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhrejyNwk38&list
The Start Of Your Body Entering Menopause
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do6apybUh84

SUBSCRIBE to RIOT: http://bit.ly/1VabcsE
Transcript
00:00Hello! Welcome back!
00:02Hi! I'm Aparna.
00:04I'm Jo, and you're watching Baywatch.
00:13Today we're talking about
00:16graduating high school and becoming
00:19an adult!
00:22Good luck, good luck, good luck!
00:23This is the worst time of your life.
00:24We don't want to oversell it,
00:26but it is the worst time of your life.
00:28Being 18 is a very
00:30strange and special time
00:32where you exist between 17
00:34and 19.
00:37Nobody likes you,
00:38nobody trusts you, you have no
00:40responsibilities. I will say,
00:42this is the time in your life where you do have to
00:44recognize youth body.
00:46Youth body is a condition where
00:48everything faces up, and it will
00:50only do this for a few years, so you need
00:52to take advantage of it.
00:54Wear straps, because
00:55once your years are out, that
00:57youth body turns into
01:00truth body, which is what
01:01your body really looks like.
01:03You're essentially going to turn into a bag of potatoes
01:05within minutes. But guess what?
01:08What? You can vote.
01:09Yeah, and you can smoke cigarettes.
01:11Aparna and I are going to have a classic
01:13political debate.
01:15Cigarettes versus voting.
01:18Aparna, I will be playing
01:20the side of cigarettes.
01:22I will be playing the side of voting.
01:25Debate commence!
01:26Voting is one of the best ways
01:28you can prove you're American.
01:29You only get a few choices in this world, and one of them
01:32is for presidents. Use it.
01:34Or lose it.
01:35Why don't you hit all the pleasure centers
01:38in your brain and feel like a dragon
01:40at the same time?
01:42Cigarettes.
01:43Cigarettes cause cancer.
01:45Presidents cause cancer.
01:47Cigarettes are tiny.
01:49Don't you want something big in your hands?
01:51Cigarettes give you something to talk about
01:53at work. Like going
01:55to get a cigarette.
01:56Smoke means fire!
01:58Fire means hot. Like, oh boy
02:01sexy man.
02:06Say what?
02:09What'd you say? I couldn't hear.
02:11Debate over.
02:13So several of you are graduating.
02:15What do you do now? There's a few options.
02:18One. Stay.
02:25I lost my straw.
02:27I'll fish it out.
02:29You want mine?
02:30Being 18 isn't all fun and games.
02:33Cause it's like you have all these ideas
02:35about what you want to be and who you are
02:37but you still need to talk to your parents
02:39all the time cause you kind of live in their house.
02:41And that can lead to some tough conversations.
02:44Mom?
02:45What, Tammy?
02:46I got something to tell you.
02:49Uh, I know the toilet is clogged.
02:51Mom,
02:53I want to be a
02:56food blogger.
02:57No!
02:59What does that mean?
03:01Not everyone can be a certified podiatrist.
03:05What's the blog called?
03:07You are what you eat
03:09so eatitgood.tumblr.biz
03:14I am not your real mother.
03:21Well, I think that's all we have time for today.
03:24Some of you will make it
03:25and some of you
03:27will make it big!
03:29Good luck out there.
03:30If you like what you saw
03:31and you want to check out more
03:33click here to subscribe!
03:36You will also click there
03:38for more videos
03:39and here for more
03:42of us.
Comments

Recommended