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  • 1 week ago
It’s no surprise that couples argue, but just how often is too often, and where is the line drawn between healthy and unhealthy? Let’s peek into the lives of couples and the ways they bicker in hopes of figuring out the best way to resolve our differences.

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Transcript
00:00You start by, it's like if there's like a little piece of salt on the counter.
00:03Yeah.
00:03I'm OCD. It's a small living space. You have to keep it clean.
00:12I really wanted to eat a hamburger, and Eric really wanted to eat pizza.
00:19It was about if pickles are a fruit or a vegetable, and I won.
00:25You were cleaning up after I made the soup.
00:27Oh!
00:27You threw away my soup.
00:30I wanted to watch Kung Fu Panda 3.
00:32I was like, don't do that.
00:33And you were like, why? Why can't I do that?
00:34And I was like, I have you!
00:35Breastfeeding and rocking the baby with my foot.
00:38I called her a bitch.
00:40And then she didn't talk to me for two weeks.
00:43That was like last year though. It's okay.
00:47There has to be screaming involved.
00:49We kind of stopped listening to one another.
00:51At the point where we're not talking anymore, that's when we're going to fight.
00:55Because I don't want to come to the kitchen.
00:58I don't want to put the dishes in the oven, because then I don't want to wash it.
01:06We argue about once a week.
01:08Every day.
01:09More lately.
01:10But it's just out of exhaustion.
01:12We used to argue all the time, but at this point I think we've both matured.
01:15So we don't argue that much, but when we do, it's an argument.
01:18When we do, it's epic.
01:20We don't argue much, because we're perfect.
01:25Yes, but after two minutes we don't do anything.
01:29I think arguing is healthy, because I've been in relationships before where I wasn't
01:33as passionate about the person, and so we never fought because I didn't care.
01:37I feel like when you argue, usually something comes out of it.
01:41Everything that changes or grows comes out of some sort of conflict.
01:47When I dismiss her, get out of my face, or leave me alone, she hates that.
01:53It escalates things when I'm like, no, let's just not talk about it.
01:56When I'm in a text fight and I don't text back, I ignore him, that's the best way to
01:59be like, ew, give him an uppercut.
02:02He's very patient and calm, and then that makes me even more mad.
02:07So I'm like, you know, and then when he blows up, I'm like, I don't understand why he's so mad
02:11at me.
02:12Sometimes I fight for fun.
02:14It's like, gets the fire going.
02:18I was disappointed in my birthday, and he had signs all over about a magilla.
02:25Is that the, what's the golf term for?
02:27Mulligan.
02:28Mulligan.
02:29I drew her a picture once.
02:31Remember when I got my knuckles tattooed?
02:32Oh my god.
02:34That was the biggest fight we've ever gotten to.
02:36I thought he ruined our unborn children's life by tattooing his knuckles.
02:41He did.
02:42I am always apologizing to you.
02:45Yeah, because an apology means nothing.
02:48Sometimes he'll apologize and turn around and do the thing that I just got mad at him about.
02:54I've always had to do things a couple times to get them right.
02:57He broke up with me and then proposed.
03:00A little bit.
03:00I think you needed a break.
03:01You got too serious too quick at the beginning.
03:02It was like so intense.
03:03He's like, I think I want to marry you.
03:04And I was like, oh.
03:05So we broke up and then, you stalked me, didn't you?
03:09I sure did.
03:09What?
03:11What?
03:11If we haven't been left.
03:13I'm left.
03:14I'm left.
03:14I'm left.
03:15No, no, no.
03:16From here.
03:34Not at all over on these movies.
03:38I don't know what's you think.
03:38I don't know.
03:38Let's do it!
03:38Oh my gosh!
03:39Hell no!
03:42What!
03:44The hardest thing and the best thing is not saying something that you'll regret, so like
03:49taking a couple breaths before you react to something.
03:52I think not digging your heels in on something, because you have to be right, let it go.
04:00I need to take a deep breath and realize why I'm angry.
04:03And most of the time I'm angry because I'm being a dick.
04:06I think when someone's like in the mood to fight and they keep picking fights, you just
04:09ignore them.
04:10You're supposed to communicate.
04:12That's how you avoid arguments.
04:13Another thing I think is also to want to solve the problem.
04:17Like if people aren't ready to like be friends again, then like it's not going to work.
04:21The best advice I got is to, you know, try to understand before being understood.
04:26Do not go to bed angry, it's the worst thing that you can do.
04:29I almost always take my anger to bed and wake up and feel differently.
04:34I actually gave myself some good advice.
04:36Yes you did.
04:37But I don't go to bed mad.
04:39Ever.
04:39And then you wake up mad the next day.
04:41I wake up mad the next day.
04:44Hey guys, we're the producers of How To Love and we worked really hard on this series
04:48and want to know how you guys feel about it.
04:50So make sure you comment below, click here to watch the next video, and as always subscribe
04:55to Refinery29 on YouTube.
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