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  • 6 months ago
Aparna and Jo tell us all about living with pride and dignity in your fourth decade of life!

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RIOT is Refinery29's new comedy destination delivering fearlessly funny series. We cover taboo topics ranging from race to class, depression to anxiety, pop culture to social justice — we're laughing with you!

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Transcript
00:00Welcome back!
00:01Hi! We missed you!
00:03You look great.
00:10Today we'll be discussing your thirties.
00:14Living with pride and dignity in a third decade of life.
00:17Your dirty thirties.
00:19Flirty flirties.
00:21I don't know anything else that rhymes.
00:23I think you could say turkey. I think you could get away.
00:26Turkey thirties!
00:28A part of someone approaching my thirties, I think about new fears.
00:33You're scared, but you need new reasons why.
00:39What are you afraid of?
00:41Men who tell you they can give you a job, and it turns out it was your dad.
00:49Sometimes I fear I'm going to get cut.
00:52From the team?
00:54Skin.
00:55Slashed right on the street.
00:57I got another fear.
01:00Hepatitis D.
01:02If you're already in your thirties, why don't you comment right now?
01:05Just whenever we get one right, just say right in the comments.
01:09And if you're already scared, great.
01:11Crane cumps, knocks you unconscious, nobody cares.
01:14Jeans.
01:16Jeans.
01:17Skirts.
01:18Pardon, was that jeans or skirts or jeans skirts?
01:21Jeans skirts.
01:23You said jeans skirts.
01:25Do you mean jeans skirts or jeans skirts?
01:28Jeans skirts.
01:31Jeans, skirts.
01:33Jeans skirts or jeans skirts?
01:35Jeans or skirts!
01:36This is pretty scary.
01:37If you get too scared, you can always click on this other thing that'll get you feeling good.
01:42Click here.
01:44Click right here.
01:45Over there.
01:46Come on.
01:46Come on.
01:47There you go.
01:48Come on.
01:49That's a boy.
01:50Come on.
01:50Over there.
01:51Come on.
01:51Yep.
01:52You're really close.
01:53Click.
01:53Click here.
01:56One thing I think about is balancing career and family.
02:01I do.
02:02Okay.
02:03Fine.
02:07Well, it's your body and your life.
02:10And when you're in your thirties, your body is changing.
02:15In a lot of ways and none of them the way you want them to be.
02:19None of them in the way you want them to be.
02:22None of them in the way you want them to be.
02:25None of them in the way you want them to be.
02:30So there's going to be a lot of things that are going to go wrong with your body.
02:34Your ankles are going to get super round.
02:36Your knees, when you're young, they're rubbery.
02:39And as you get older, they're going to feel more like plastic.
02:42Your scent is going to change.
02:44First it was more of like a fresh mountain and now it's kind of more of a fanatic.
02:48But you can fit most of your torso into your underpants.
02:52You'll also become white.
02:54Very white. Very white.
02:58That's good. People treat you nice.
03:00Oh, for sure.
03:02Another thing that's great in your thirties is career advancement.
03:07A lot of times people who have been working for their twenties and teens become successful in their thirties.
03:13For example, let's say you spend your twenties being a mother.
03:16You could be a grandmother.
03:17If you spent your twenties being a manicurist.
03:21You could be a mannequin.
03:22If you spent your twenties in medical school.
03:25You could be a medical school.
03:28Babysitting.
03:29You could be a babysitter.
03:31Trying to be an actress.
03:32You could be a drugs.
03:34Designing fashion concepts for Old Navy.
03:37You could be fired.
03:39If you spend your twenties teaching fifth graders.
03:43Then you better let the fifth graders start teaching you.
03:45If you spend your twenties collecting stamps.
03:47Then you better mail some letters cause fuck you cannot waste your time anymore.
03:52If you spend your twenties sweeping up hair in a hair salon.
03:56Then you better make some dolls.
03:57If you spend your twenties monitoring websites for illegal or fraudulent activity.
04:02Then congratulations you're Mr. Robot on USA.
04:05You're out of your damn mind.
04:07USA!
04:08USA!
04:08USA!
04:08Well today we talked about your thirties.
04:11We talked about growing up, growing out, and growing on.
04:15Growing left, growing right.
04:17Life's daily crossword.
04:18You might not know all the words.
04:21But you can still fill up the squares completely black.
04:25So no one else can do it.
04:27Click here for more.
04:28Click here for more.
04:29Click here for more.
04:34Click here for more.
04:36Ah!
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