- 1 day ago
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00:00Music
00:25Wolf of town, wolf of town, what a lovely night
00:28That racket
00:29Racket?
00:31The chant of champions are racket
00:34Well, I'm ready
00:38You're not going to the ceremony like that, are you?
00:40Yeah, how often does Walford town win 5-2?
00:43As often as we have a christening, I suppose
00:45That's right, I'm going to celebrate both
00:47Walford town!
00:48Arthur, it's all the same to you, I prefer a quiet christening
00:51Are you okay?
00:53Yeah
00:55Oh, I see
00:58Yeah
00:59A cup of tea help?
01:01Maybe
01:01Yeah
01:02Just remember that christenings are always better, second time round
01:10Is Peter yet?
01:11Oh, any minute now
01:12I'll just go and wait for him
01:13What for? He knows where we live
01:17Oh dear, here we go again
01:19Yeah, it's Mark, innit?
01:21Yeah
01:22Yeah, woke up thinking about him
01:24You're not serious, are you, going to the ceremony like that?
01:28Yeah
01:28Well, you can stand outside the church then
01:31All true believers will understand
01:34A 5-2 win by Walford is like a miracle
01:37The vicar will understand, he'll treat it like a sign from God
01:40Yeah, well I hope Walford town don't have too many wins like this
01:43I don't think I could stand it
01:44Oh, now come on, don't put a mug on them
01:46Oh
01:47Mum
01:47You don't shout
01:49Sorry, do you want a cup of tea?
01:50Of course I do
01:53You look a right Wally
01:55Ha!
01:56I like it
01:57I had a dream last night
01:59Oh yeah
02:01Albert appeared
02:02I know where this is going
02:04As large as life he was
02:06I reckon he had a message
02:07Otherwise he wouldn't be floating around inside your head, would he?
02:10He had
02:11Oh, don't waste your breath, Mum
02:12Call the boy Albert, he said
02:15It'll bring him luck
02:16No
02:17It's what he wants
02:18Yes, well it's not what I want
02:20What are you going to name him then?
02:21We're going to call him Ossivaldi's Ricardo Lufa Cyril
02:25You're having me on
02:27All that?
02:28Pelly for sure
02:29Oh, make a fool of the boy
02:31I'm not going to be part of it
02:33I'll go and get me hat on
02:44Take it in, Mum
02:45Yeah, all right
02:46Let's go, thank you
02:47All right, hang on
02:50All right, Ian?
02:50Hi
02:51Hey, Ian
02:52Come on, give us down, I've got some little crates
02:54Yeah, OK
02:55This is really good at Vicky
02:56What is?
02:57Oh, all this video stuff for the christening
02:58Not everyone would have thought of it
03:00Oh, I don't know about that
03:00I do
03:01Here, hang on
03:02It's heavy for you
03:03I can manage
03:04Yeah, you're supposed to take care
03:05Don't be tough
03:08All right, well don't blame me
03:11Oh, the kids might like it
03:12Make their own fizzy drinks
03:13Alcoholic pop more liked
03:15No, they can have one glass of champagne to wet the baby's head and that's it
03:18Well, it's a thought
03:19Yeah
03:19Morning, all
03:20Here we are again
03:21And again, and again
03:22And I'll see you all's best for the case, you know
03:24Very good
03:24No, he's taking all that lot off before he sets foot in that church
03:27Oh, no, I'm not
03:28Oh, yes, you are
03:29Anything else, Pete?
03:30What?
03:30From the van?
03:31No, I can manage
03:32I want help
03:32Here, she's getting very helpful this morning
03:34It's getting a bit worrying
03:35Yeah
03:35Hey, under the table, lads
03:36Under the table
03:38Just take care, Arthur
03:39They're good
03:40Here, don't encourage you
03:41Pull inside here with the groceries
03:42I'm coming
03:43Arthur
03:44Get that lot off
03:45Yeah, I'll go get the glasses
03:46Yeah, I'll catch you up
03:47Yeah, tell you what, Arthur
03:49It'd be even better if a kid wore the colours
03:51Yeah, you're right, it would
03:52Yeah, I bet you a quid you can't swing it
03:53You're on, son
03:54You're on
03:56And this is for the baby
03:57To bring him luck
03:59Oh, it looks like an eye
04:01Here, Kath, look
04:02Yeah, the blue keeps him safe
04:04From the evil eye, that is
04:06Oh, I can do it one of those myself
04:08Well, that's what they say anyway
04:10Oh, thanks, Saeed
04:11I'll keep it for him
04:12Till he's big enough to wear it
04:13And this is for him also
04:15To bring him luck
04:16And to protect him
04:17What is it?
04:18It's so tiny
04:19Look, Kathy
04:20What is it?
04:21It's the Koran
04:22Koran?
04:22Yeah, the Muslim Bible
04:24Muslim?
04:25Yeah, pin it to his vest, always
04:27Oh, right
04:28I'll pin it to him later, thanks
04:32Oh, well, I'll see if I can find something to do in the front room
04:35Cheers
04:37Well, what can I do for you, Saeed?
04:39Yesterday I got another letter from my dad
04:41Telling me to sell the shop, sell my flat
04:43Telling me to go to Bangladesh
04:45Look, I must talk to Neymar
04:48I've... I mean, she's got to know so I can work it out with her
04:50Where is she?
04:51I can't tell you
04:53I promised
04:54Please
04:55I promised
04:57Alright then, keep your promise
04:59And while you're doing that, my dad will fly in and sell the shop, sell my flat
05:03Saeed, what can I do?
05:04Nothing
05:04Thank you
05:06Look, Saeed
05:10You will still come over for a drink later, won't you?
05:12I don't know if I feel...
05:15Yeah, alright, I will
05:17Okay, thanks for the talisman
05:19My dad gave them to me
05:20Haven't brought me much luck
05:23Maybe the baby will do better, eh?
05:25Thanks
05:25See you, Pauline
05:26Cheers
05:28Come on, Ian
05:28Will you hurry up?
05:30Here, stop it, you two
05:31Don't wreck the place
05:32I'm sorry
05:33Case coming through
05:34Oh, there you go
05:35Well, I'm still none the wiser
05:37Well, it looks straightforward enough to me
05:38Does it?
05:39Yeah, seems he
05:40I'm glad you think so
05:41I'll help you
05:42Oh, what's her?
05:44No problem
05:45You!
05:46What's she wearing?
05:48The gear for the Halloween on
05:49Morning, Ed
05:50Morning
05:51All of the bells never seem so beautiful as they do on the morning of a christening, do they?
05:57You might do it
05:58What's all this?
05:59What's the video gear to film the christening?
06:01Oh!
06:02Am I going on television, then?
06:05You know what, if all goes well, I'm going to immortalise you today
06:08Oh!
06:09That'd be nice
06:10Come on, Gwyneth
06:14The door's open
06:15You're early, yes?
06:17What?
06:17Eleven o'clock
06:18No, one o'clock, I said
06:21No, I wrote it down
06:23Two ones, I know I did
06:24One one?
06:25Oh, never mind
06:26Arthur
06:27And what?
06:28Get here for a drink, will you?
06:29I'll do it, Arthur
06:30You look smashing, Ethel
06:31Oh!
06:32Thank you
06:33Dream in it
06:35I don't know
06:36I keep thinking it's yesterday
06:37I've done this all before, I think
06:40Hello it, you're early
06:42Oh, well
06:43My alarm clock was passed
06:44Oh, Arthur
06:45You do look so passionate
06:46Oh, there's only a couple of us left there
06:49Only a couple left
06:51Cannington's stationing first
06:52Hey, Pauline
06:53I've got an idea
06:54Why not dress the kid in Walford colours?
06:56Arthur, you're all giddy today
06:57Have you been knocking it back already?
06:59No, it's a good idea, though, innit?
07:00No, it's a rotten idea, innit?
07:02Go away
07:03Well, it's them two
07:04I thought it was a good idea
07:05Oh, dear
07:06I'm sure he means it
07:08Of course he don't
07:10Yeah, I'm not so sure
07:11Here you are
07:12How's that, then?
07:15Oh
07:16Oh, Pauline
07:18You look great
07:19Oh, nice one, Pauline
07:20Oh, it's smashing him up
07:22Here, let's go and see what Arthur says
07:23No, no, no
07:24He'll see me soon enough
07:25Oh, come on, everybody
07:26Go on, get out
07:27Oh, come on, Shel
07:28Oh, we know when we're not wanted
07:29Yeah, Mum, come on
07:30I'll go and swank the baby up
07:32In case he baptises the vicar
07:34What are you up to?
07:35You'll be quiet
07:36Stay there
07:38Come on
07:39Clear out, you two
07:40Go and stand on your heads in the square
07:41For five minutes
07:42Come on
07:42What are you going on about, Mum?
07:43I just said go
07:44Go on, here
07:45No booze, you
07:46Give us that
07:46Oh, Mum
07:48Yeah, I see that
07:49Ethel, I think I can hear Willie's stomach
07:50From here, you know
07:51He's going to explode
07:52Why don't you take him out for a walk
07:53For a little while, eh?
07:54I wish people wouldn't worry about Willie
07:56He's quite sane, you know
07:58Go on
07:58Where do you want me, on the roof?
08:00You just be quiet and stay there
08:01Wait till I call
08:02All set
08:02I feel embarrassed
08:04Arthur, you can come in now
08:05I'm going to go and help Lou
08:08What's Cathy playing?
08:14You look lovely
08:16Do I?
08:17Yeah, you do
08:18You do
08:20Well, I feel soppy
08:22Oh, darling
08:25Don't
08:26Well, it's just like old times, isn't it?
08:28Is it?
08:28Yeah
08:29I feel like I did years ago
08:34Oh, Arthur
08:35It's all going to be alright
08:37It's going to be a lovely day
08:39Oh, it's always a lovely day
08:40When I'm with you
08:43Hello, anyone on?
08:45We don't stand a chance, do we?
08:47We're in here, Ange
08:48Yeah, in here
08:49I'm sorry to butt in like this, Paul
08:52But...
08:52Oh, don't you look elegant?
08:54Mm-hmm
08:54Oh, do I?
08:56I come in with Angie
08:57Willie's getting cold
08:59Oh, sit down there
09:00Er...
09:01Bad news, folks
09:02Er, what?
09:04Den can't be Godfather
09:06Oh, I knew it was too good to lose
09:08Why not?
09:09Unavoidably detained, he says
09:11Oh, God, where does that leave us, then?
09:14Oh...
09:15Mum, Pete, Peppy
09:16I'm so embarrassed, Arthur
09:18I couldn't be more embarrassed
09:20But where is he?
09:21Well, that's the point, innit?
09:22Where is he?
09:24What's wrong?
09:26Oh...
09:26Dennis can't be Godfather
09:28He can't make the ceremony
09:29It can't be avoided, though
09:31What's he up to?
09:32Alright, Michelle
09:33No, it's not alright
09:34Michelle
09:34What?
09:35Look, if Den said it can't be avoided
09:37Then it can't be avoided
09:38That right, Pete?
09:40Yeah, sure
09:41We ain't got to cancel again, have we?
09:43Oh, this kid'll never get a name
09:45We've got enough Godparents, haven't we?
09:47I suppose so, but I wanted Dennis
09:49Oh, I rang the vicar
09:50He said you can have a proxy Godfather
09:53A proxy Godfather?
09:54Yeah
09:54Oh, I don't like the sound of that
09:56What does it mean?
09:58Well, the proxy Godfather attends the ceremony
10:00But Den's still the real Godfather
10:02Oh!
10:03Oh, you mean like a stand-in?
10:05Right
10:06Yeah, but who?
10:07Nick Cotton could do it
10:09Oh, that's brainy
10:10Great Godfather he'd make
10:12Blimmin' Mafia Godfather
10:14Nick is a very nice boy
10:16Oh, Nick Cotton?
10:17Oh, I'd rather have Willie
10:19Yes, but Willie's not tall enough
10:22Hey, I could do it
10:23I'd like to do it
10:24No, no, you're too young
10:26Simon is the one
10:27Simon can do it, might
10:28Oh, yeah
10:28Oh, no, Ian can
10:29Nah, it'd be better if you do it
10:31You're more adult
10:32Yeah
10:32Don't stand here hanging back
10:33Come on, your country needs you
10:35Well, all right then
10:36If it'll help
10:36Oh, thanks, Simon
10:37Oh, another thing, Paul
10:39Oh, what?
10:40Den's got the car
10:41So I've ordered you a cab
10:42Oh, you shouldn't have
10:43We'd have managed
10:44No, fair's fair
10:46We promised you a car
10:47A car you'll have
10:48Listen, I've got to go
10:49I'll see you later
10:50Right, okay
10:51Hello, everyone
10:52Don't lie
10:53Can't grab a drink
10:54I said it wasn't too late for disaster
10:56No chance
10:57Yeah, what's to stop it?
10:59Well, you look too good for anything really bad to happen
11:02Anyway
11:03You know, I could nearly let you wrap the baby in that scarf for that
11:07Oh, can I?
11:08I said nearly
11:09Oh, got one?
11:10No
11:11Thought I nearly had it there
11:12What are you two up to?
11:14Oh, nothing boring on this, no
11:15Well, I think it's time we had a beer, right, Simon?
11:17Well, you're right, Arthur
11:18Right, come on
11:29Yeah, the cars are here
11:32Oh, it's about time
11:34Come on, everybody
11:35Wagons roll
11:35Come on, come on
11:36Come on
11:37Come on
11:39Yes, I've got him
11:40I'm going on now
11:41Yeah
11:42Paulie, let's have an Albert
11:44Sad not to have an Albert in the family
11:46I said no
11:47Well, I want to remember Albert
11:49Albert would remember me
11:51Oh, don't go on about it, Mum
11:55You go with Dr. Legg
11:56Paulie, Mum
11:57And Andy
11:58Andy
11:59You go in the cab
12:00We're going
12:00I'll come in the cab with you
12:01Paulie, you go in the cab
12:03Where's Mum?
12:04Where's Mum?
12:05Mum?
12:05You go in the cab
12:06Yeah, no, you go in Ali's car
12:08Yeah, you go in Ali's car
12:09Yeah, you go in Ali's car
12:10Okay?
12:12Right
12:12Right
12:13Right
12:13Right
12:16Right
12:21Yeah
12:22All right
12:23Face the ace
12:25Ten hour, Ethel
12:28Not a tale to get you
12:29Hello
12:31Hello
12:34Hello
12:34Hello
12:35Hello
12:35Hello
12:43No, it's not all right. You'll confuse the vicar.
12:47Oh, well, he'll have to sit in the car.
12:50Oh, no, I'm not happy about that either.
12:52He'll chew the covers or get sick and mess the floor.
12:54Oh, he won't.
12:55Yes, he will.
12:56Willie's got too many options alone in the car.
12:58Are you time to the railings?
12:59Time to the railings?
13:00Yeah.
13:00In October, I'll do no such thing.
13:03I shall have to stay out here with him.
13:05Oh, all right, then.
13:07Insofar as this is a special occasion, you can leave him in the car.
13:10But you tell him clearly to behave himself.
13:13Yes, yes.
13:14You behave as a girl.
13:15Yeah, you make him walk.
13:16Otherwise, he'll have no legs and a big head.
13:18There you are, then.
13:19Off you go, then, Willie.
13:20All right, Ethel.
13:21Come on, darling.
13:22Order.
13:23Hello, you're good luck.
13:24You owe me a quid.
13:25Not yet, son.
13:26Oh, we're here and the baby's not wearing the car.
13:27This is a church.
13:29Miracles can happen.
13:30Now, shush, be sensible.
13:31This is a very serious occasion.
13:38This is the faith of the church.
13:41This is our faith.
13:43We believe and trust in one God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
13:48What's that on the baby's back?
13:52Name this child.
13:54Martin Albert.
13:57Martin Albert, I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
14:06Amen.
14:08Poor little Mike.
14:10One minute lying there snug as a bug, and then somebody splutters cold water all over his face.
14:16Oh, what a lie.
14:25Honestly, Arthur, I could shoot you.
14:27I was so embarrassed.
14:28When I saw that thing on his bottom, I mean, what if the vicar had seen?
14:32Lucky I didn't see.
14:33That's all.
14:33I want to call him the phone giggling.
14:34Honestly, when I saw it, I thought, God, what's that vicar going to say?
14:37It'd bring the kid nothing but happiness.
14:39Yeah, and earned off for a quid.
14:40There you go.
14:41You've never had a bet on it.
14:42Yeah, but that's not why I did it.
14:44Hey, but come on, Pop, just have a go.
14:45Come on, I'm doing it now.
14:47Oh, you never let me do anything.
14:48Look, just get back in there where I can see you.
14:50You're not there.
14:51You made Albert up your sleeping book.
14:55Well, it wouldn't have been a surprise if we'd have told you.
14:57Yeah, I don't know how many times we nearly told you.
14:59Oh, my Albert will be eternally raptant.
15:02I feel he's been given to the night.
15:05Come on, you.
15:06All right, all right.
15:07Let's have a little bit of order.
15:09Oh, you get in there.
15:10Mum, you get in there.
15:11Look, get down here, Bev.
15:13All right.
15:14All right.
15:15Great match yesterday, wasn't it?
15:17What?
15:18Never miss a home game.
15:19Yeah?
15:20Yeah?
15:20Oh, yeah, great match.
15:22Come on, Arthur, concentrate.
15:24Everybody wave.
15:24Come on, everybody smile.
15:26Come on, all smile.
15:28Come on, this is prosperity.
15:29Is he going to make history?
15:31Come on.
15:32One day the little nip is going to look at this
15:33and we're all going to live again.
15:40Oh, the cake's lovely.
15:42That here is a right clever sauce, isn't he?
15:44I must go look at the big picture.
15:46Ian!
15:46Oh, no, no.
15:48Take it easy.
15:49Take it easy.
15:50Hey, has everybody got a glass?
15:51Yeah.
15:52Now, is it full?
15:53Yeah.
15:54Because we're going to wet the baby's head, right?
15:56Okay, then.
15:57To the baby.
15:58To Martin Albert Fowler.
16:02Martin Albert Fowler.
16:04Hang on, hang on.
16:05Arthur, you have to do it again.
16:06I don't think I've got it.
16:07Oh!
16:10To the baby.
16:12To Martin Albert Fowler.
16:14Yay!
16:15Martin Albert Fowler.
16:20All right.
16:21I quite like this, Mum.
16:22Of course there was, darling.
16:24Dad was there and all.
16:25It's one of the few times we ever went anywhere together.
16:39Yes, but you're not to call him Albert, Mum.
16:42You're to call him Marty.
16:43Oh, well, I just call him Albert inside the air.
16:46You can call him what you like in there.
16:48Just don't let it dribble out.
16:49Can I interrupt?
16:50Yes, of course, Toad.
16:52I made this for young Martin.
16:54I thought he might like it so much.
16:55Oh, thank you.
16:58Oh, Tony, it's lovely.
17:01Oh, it's a St. Christopher, isn't it?
17:03For travels through life, so he won't get lost.
17:07I'm sorry I didn't think.
17:09It's all right.
17:10I'll keep it for him until he's big enough to wear it.
17:15Maybe it'll be all right for James.
17:18He's going to be a lucky kiddie.
17:21You watch, I'll dry.
17:23What about my plan?
17:24Don't argue, just pick.
17:26All right, I'll dry.
17:27It's going well, isn't it?
17:28Yeah, like a bomb.
17:30I'm quite relieved he's over at last.
17:31Yeah.
17:34Yeah?
17:35I want to buy a motorbike.
17:36Yeah, I know.
17:37Graves give me 150 towards it.
17:39Yeah, I heard.
17:40But I need another 200 so I can buy one easy, so...
17:43So?
17:44Would you lend me the 200?
17:45I'll pay you back.
17:47Ah.
17:47You want some money?
17:47What do you mean, ah?
17:49Just ah.
17:50You think I've been helping you so I can get some money out of it?
17:53Never cross my mind, Shel.
17:54Are you sure?
17:55Sure.
17:56Mr. Woody, then?
17:56Yeah.
17:58Hello?
17:59Yeah.
18:00How are you paying me back?
18:01I figure I can manage about 10 or a week.
18:03So that's...
18:03Yes, thanks.
18:0420 weeks?
18:06Okay, it's a deal.
18:07Thanks, Uncle.
18:08I mean it.
18:09Thanks.
18:10For God's sake, do be careful when you get that bike, Shel.
18:12I hate you on my conscience.
18:13I'll promise.
18:14Yeah, what about the dishes?
18:15Later.
18:17Give us a hand with these, son.
18:20I got some 20 in round.
18:22You might not be happy and having more than happy, sir.
18:26You'll get that easy.
18:27Nobody's gone mad.
18:28I hope so.
18:29I can't wait to get into the asylum.
18:31I know just what you mean.
18:35Man, dustbin.
18:36He wins as dustbin's ass.
18:38He wins for money.
18:39Give him your old business, yeah.
18:41I'm not me grave yet, Ed.
18:43Yeah, have you thought when your kid's grown up playing football in the square, you'll
18:46be in your wheelchair?
18:47I wouldn't be too sure of that, no.
18:49You still have written a lad, ain't you, Arthur?
18:51Try to be lad, try to be.
18:53Yeah, still get up to me, Shel.
18:54Yeah.
18:59She's got a point, you know.
19:00Oh, come on.
19:01You're as young as you feel.
19:02Yeah, that's the point.
19:04Oh, you'll get a cigarette.
19:05Oh, I've got to get a cigarette.
19:07Excuse me.
19:08A lady's excuse me.
19:10Some excuse me.
19:10Yeah, she keeps him.
19:11Watch yourself, Winston.
19:13Come on, girl.
19:13Your dad's given me a loan of 200 quid for the bike.
19:15Yeah, I know.
19:16Has he now?
19:17Yeah, I wish somebody'd give me a hand out.
19:19You've just been to France.
19:20Yeah.
19:21What do you want?
19:22Nothing.
19:23Are you sure you can handle it?
19:25Yeah, I worked out with Pete.
19:26You see, if I give him back £10 a week for 20 weeks, then he's agreed to that.
19:29Oh, good.
19:30I'm glad.
19:31Sorry I couldn't help out.
19:33What do you mean by that?
19:34Oh, nothing.
19:35I can't want to have a drink.
19:36Yeah, me too.
19:37Now, it's all right, Arthur?
19:38Yeah, all right.
19:39Not too much.
19:40Oh, sorry, me too.
19:45Hey, Angie!
19:46Hey, Angie!
19:49Hey, Angie!
19:51Why ain't Den here?
19:52Hey?
19:52Why ain't Den here?
19:54Oh, accident.
19:56Accident?
19:57What?
19:58When?
20:01He broke his leg trying to get it over.
20:05Oh, look at me.
20:06Oh, my God.
20:08He's acting like an old woman.
20:09I'm just enjoying myself.
20:11Oh, what's that setting now?
20:12I'm getting meany.
20:14Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:15He broke his leg, trying to get it over.
20:18He wears gold, blimey trousers, and lives in a council flat.
20:22Whoa!
20:27Cher.
20:29I shoot me mouth off, you know I do.
20:32I go bang before I know what's happening.
20:38It's not you I'm angry at.
20:43I just weren't ready for it.
20:45Well, there's no reason why you should be ready for it.
20:48It's me, not you.
20:50It's Dad.
20:51Yeah, it's Dad.
20:52Well, why isn't he here?
20:54Den's got funny ideas about being a godfather.
20:57And doom any harm.
20:58Yeah, well, your dad don't think like that, does he?
21:01And anyway, other things come up.
21:03Like the car and...
21:06the car.
21:07You know, it's not fair on you, Mum.
21:08Well, it's not fair on anyone.
21:15It's not fair on you, is it?
21:20Oh.
21:27You all right, kid?
21:29Yes.
21:30Bit happy, bit sad, you know.
21:31Thinking about Mark.
21:33Wondering where he is and what he's doing.
21:35Oh, we'll be back soon.
21:37Millionaire or something.
21:38It's always happening.
21:39Yeah, it's just because he's not here today, you know, with the christen of the baby.
21:43Hey, come on, everybody.
21:44Over to the pub.
21:45It's time for the pub.
21:45The guests are arriving.
21:47What time is it?
21:47Everybody cross to the boozer.
21:48It's seven o'clock.
22:01Day and a half he's been gone.
22:02Well, maybe he'll be really easy.
22:04I know what sold you, Mum.
22:06Oh, he's not that stupid, is he?
22:08No, he's not that stupid, but he is that selfish.
22:12You're lucky you don't have troubles, Kath.
22:14Yeah.
22:15Right.
22:16I envy you, then.
22:17Well done.
22:18You've all got troubles.
22:20Nothing else would matter in the world today.
22:24We would go on loving in the same old way.
22:30A garden of Eden.
22:38I would say such wonderful things to you without enjoying yourself if you were the only girl in the world
22:52and I was the only boy.
22:57Where have you been?
22:59You've missed the ceremony.
23:00I'm sorry.
23:01I'm sorry.
23:01I'm sorry.
23:02I had dinner with a guy from Mercedes Benz, got blasted and flaked out at his place.
23:06Likely story, too.
23:07Straight up.
23:07Another lovely place and all nice family, wife, patient and understanding.
23:10Anyway, today he takes me somewhere else to the Hudson Wells.
23:13Birmingham Hall, place it.
23:14How was I?
23:14I don't know.
23:14I was still numb from the hangover.
23:15Back in plenty of time.
23:17All right, darling?
23:18Yes.
23:19We're going to take more of the wave, then.
23:21We're not good enough, are we?
23:23You couldn't care, could you?
23:24Be bothered.
23:25You knew he wanted to be bothered.
23:27You couldn't be there, could you?
23:29Michelle!
23:30I couldn't turn up.
23:31I couldn't make you, that's all.
23:33Couldn't make me.
23:36I think she's had too much to drink.
23:38Yeah.
23:39Look, I'm disappointed, truly.
23:41I really want to be the kid's godfather.
23:43But you are.
23:44Eh?
23:44The godfather.
23:45But I wasn't there.
23:46Proxy.
23:47Proxy?
23:47Yeah, we're a proxy godfather.
23:49I'm the proxy godfather.
23:51No, you're not the proxy godfather.
23:53Simon's the proxy godfather.
23:54You're the godfather.
23:56Great.
23:57Uh, yeah.
23:58Yeah, great.
23:59Well, I'll go and sit there in Anne.
24:00Cheers.
24:01Bye.
24:01Okay.
24:02Okay.
24:05You've been with her, haven't you?
24:06What are you on about?
24:07I was with the man from Mercadies Bench.
24:09Like how you was.
24:10Like how I was.
24:11How's everyone doing?
24:12All right?
24:13You all right, Paul?
24:14Everything okay?
24:15Yeah, we're swimming over here, Anne.
24:17Yeah, we're drowning back here.
24:19Well, that wasn't very nice, was it, letting everyone down like that?
24:22To tell you the truth, princess, I didn't want to be godfather.
24:25Well, you are the godfather.
24:26So are you.
24:27This upset mum.
24:28Everything upsets your mum.
24:30But that ain't fair.
24:31Keep smiling, princess.
24:32This is a party.
24:33Keep the people happy.
24:34Oi, Kelvin.
24:36No, Steve.
24:37All right, they're just testing.
24:38Well, don't.
24:39Stick to cook.
24:40Lay off the hard stuff.
24:42Soften your brain just like your dad's.
24:44You can't help it.
24:45Okay.
24:46You definitely can't have that kid.
24:48Don't get too cheeky sometimes.
24:51Here, toe.
24:52Out on top.
24:56Tired, are we, darling?
24:58I'm okay.
25:00Poor little tuxies worn out.
25:01Ah, poor old Den.
25:02Can't stand up, eh?
25:04Wonder why?
25:05You're like an Apache squaw, always sticking the knives in.
25:08I would love to, Dennis.
25:09I really would.
25:09I'd love to.
25:10Not fair, Pete.
25:11Give us some warning.
25:12Are we all friends here, then?
25:13That's what you think, Pete.
25:17Oh, dear.
25:18Oh, dear.
25:18Bert, does it make more seamless?
25:19I know I should.
25:20But it's very difficult to get what you want in this world.
25:22Do you guys really want to go to the prison?
25:23We didn't want to go to the prison.
25:25Both.
25:26That's what makes it difficult.
25:27Yes.
25:28Good, Kathy.
25:28Have a night.
25:29Oi.
25:30Have a good day.
25:31Come on.
25:32I thought we'd about to know about some of your stepmother.
25:34Yeah, let's get a stepmother.
25:35Well, that's what you are.
25:36Yeah, Michael.
25:37Looks like in the fairy store.
25:39What?
25:40What's the joke?
25:41I don't think he's funny.
25:42Oh, come on.
25:43Look at him on nothing.
25:44Oh, dear.
25:44Oh, look.
25:45Young Ian's on his way.
25:47Oh, I've been around here long with you, Simon.
25:49It's a fact.
25:51You're part of the history of the square.
25:52You ain't.
25:53It doesn't matter about your videos, your cameras, your poxy godfarms.
25:58I've been around here.
25:59So see if I care, all right?
26:01Ian, I think we'd better get you up.
26:02I'm staying here, Mum.
26:03You've got to stay in the matter.
26:04I don't want to go up.
26:05I want me home.
26:06Yeah, we're all supposed to be big when he sees this in the morning.
26:10Yeah, I have to stick him upstairs, Kath.
26:12You can sleep it off up there.
26:13Yeah, that'd be until I knew.
26:14It's nothing then.
26:15Come here, man.
26:17Come here, Mum.
26:19Mum.
26:20Mum.
26:22Mum.
26:24Mum.
26:25Mum.
26:25Mum.
26:25Mum.
26:25Mum.
26:26Mum.
26:26It's a good boy, that, Simon.
26:28He's an oldie's boots.
26:29It's all you care about, aren't you?
26:31You think all right?
26:32Just think of Ian for a bit, will you?
26:34I do think you care.
26:35Well, just think a bit more, and don't let him drink like that.
26:39Oh, excuse me.
26:40I'm serving.
26:43Pete.
26:45You've been fevering away with that all day.
26:47When are we going to see it?
26:48Yeah, yeah.
26:49Yeah, right.
26:50Yeah, right, sis.
26:50I'll shove it now.
26:51Come on, then, everybody.
26:52Follow me.
26:53Tonight, we've got to watch history.
26:54Hey.
26:55Pete is recording.
26:56Come and see.
26:57Pete is recording.
26:58This morning, he recorded a rite.
27:00A rite of transition.
27:02A passage from one state to another.
27:04A movement.
27:06One moment outside the social body, and the next, a few drops of water, a few incantations,
27:13and behold, the child is incorporated into the body of society.
27:17What's he talking about?
27:19What are you on about, Doc?
27:20Oh, nothing.
27:21Pay no attention.
27:22Leg is legless.
27:24But he's also quite armless.
27:26Now, will you please give it a rest?
27:28One of these days, your bleeding tongue's going to strangle you, and I hope I'm there to see it.
27:32And I hope Pete's got this on his video.
27:34It'll give me great pleasure to watch it when I'm old and grey.
27:37You ain't going to live that long.
27:38Don't put money on it.
27:45Oh, no.
27:49You look nice.
27:51You look nice.
27:52Oh, well, you look nice.
27:56Oh, yeah.
27:57Oh, he's happy.
28:00Oh, no.
28:01Oh my God.
28:02Oh my God.
28:39Oh my God.
29:09Oh my God.
29:31Oh my God.