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00:00Music
00:25Oh there you are
00:28Oh, I'm sorry.
00:30Yeah, it's all right, it's all right.
00:31Right, as your elected chairman of this firework committee,
00:34I declare this meeting open.
00:36I think I couldn't open a bar, but it's out of ours.
00:39Well, Mum and Ethel want to come on the committee.
00:41Mum and Ethel?
00:42Yeah, Ethel reckons she wants to speak for the animals.
00:43What, like Dr Doolittle?
00:45Yeah, yeah.
00:45She reckons she's already knitted Willie a pair of earmuffs
00:47and also advises your dad to do the same for Rowley, Sherman.
00:50Yeah, my dad isn't exactly well famous for his knitting, Willie.
00:52I don't know why she's worried about Rowley.
00:54His ancestors came through the blitz.
00:56Excuse me, Mr Chairman, have I wandered into an RSPC meeting
01:00because I thought this committee was set up to protect the kids on fireworks night,
01:03not the animals.
01:04Yeah, Andy's right. Now, shall we get on, please?
01:05Hang on, hang on. What do you want me to tell the ladies?
01:07They're waiting over there on the edge of their seats.
01:09With all due respect, Pete, but if Mum joins this committee,
01:12I'm going to resign.
01:13I mean, I'll have to listen to her lying down the law all day as it is.
01:16All right, fair enough. I'll tell them thanks, but no thanks.
01:18It's a pity, though. Don't you want to do their bit to help?
01:20I'd like to raise a couple of points, Mr Chairman.
01:23Said, would you be prepared to give us a discount
01:25if we buy all our fireworks from you?
01:27Sure. And I'd only sell to people recommended by the committee.
01:31I'd love to check with the GLC, though, yeah?
01:34Something else we need to check with the GLC is posters.
01:37What, advertise how it would do, you mean?
01:38Why not? I thought we could stick up posters in here and the cafe, for starters.
01:41Yeah, that sounds good to me. Can't afford to pay for it, no?
01:44Yeah, but we could design our own.
01:45Yeah, we'd have to find sums of dab amber and paintbrush, though.
01:48Who better than your dad, Kelvin?
01:50What were you asking for?
01:51Well, they say, if you want a job done well,
01:53go to the busiest man in town, don't they?
01:55Yeah, I'm sure he'd help.
01:56Here, have you thought,
01:57where are we going to get the money to pay for all these fireworks?
02:00Now, if this was Scotland,
02:02you kids could go guising a Halloween night.
02:04Guising?
02:05Yeah, you know, the old masks on, go and get money.
02:07Oh, you know, like witches and all that.
02:08Witches, that's no problem, is it?
02:10Albert Square's full of them.
02:11There's Dot, Lou and Ethel for us, don't you?
02:12I can just imagine it.
02:14Hubble, bobble, tall and trouble, Lou and Ethel.
02:16Now, wait a minute.
02:17You mean to say you want Dot, Lou and Ethel to dress up as witches
02:20and go on the knocker?
02:21Oh, why not?
02:22They said they wanted to help.
02:23Yeah, well, they'll have to do that much dressing up, aren't they?
02:25I don't know.
02:26What do you think, Pete?
02:27Oh, they're just going to love this, aren't they?
02:29Mind you, not as much as I am when I tell them.
02:31Good.
02:32We've made good progress, haven't we?
02:34Say he's going to give us cut-price fireworks,
02:36your dad's going to do the posters,
02:37and Dot, Lou and Ethel are going to dress up as witches
02:39and haunt everybody, as usual.
02:42I declare this meeting closed.
02:43Come on.
02:44Thank you very much.
02:45I'll get back to school.
02:50Look, is that right?
02:51I understand that you're thinking of selling the shop.
02:54Here you are, darling.
02:55That's 25, please.
03:01Thanks, love.
03:04I suppose the council will ever give us a house of our own now.
03:07How will they?
03:07Doesn't look like it.
03:09I've been thinking.
03:10Why don't we buy a home of our own?
03:12Where we get the money from it,
03:14we'll have to come up on the pause.
03:15And I'm flogging myself to death in that cab as it is.
03:18Well, then, love.
03:20Chut-tis to all.
03:21Are you sure?
03:22These ones.
03:23Look, we could stay open here in the evening,
03:25especially now the pub's taking most of our dinner time trade.
03:29We'd never get any time to call our own.
03:31I'd stay here till midnight every night
03:33if I thought we meant having home of me own.
03:36Me like it, too, wouldn't you?
03:37Yeah, I'd love it, but
03:39I can't see that happening for ages.
03:44So you think I can become a stripper, then?
03:46Here you go.
03:47Can you help me?
03:47Cheers.
03:48Cheers, Ali.
03:49You've definitely got the figure for it.
03:51Yeah, but I'm shy.
03:52Shy?
03:53Taking a punk, be shy.
03:56Don't know.
03:56I suppose that's why I became a punk, because I'm shy.
03:59Listen, love, I'm shy.
04:00Everyone's shy, but you can't be too shy to make a living.
04:03Oh, don't misunderstand me.
04:05I think stripping's great.
04:07How did you get into it, anyway?
04:10Well, believe it or not, stripping was my way of going straight.
04:13What do you mean?
04:15Well, I ran around with the wrong kind of people when I was younger.
04:18Had to learn a lot of the lessons the hard way.
04:20That's what I like about you.
04:21I could tell you've been through the mill.
04:23You understand me, Sheena?
04:25You don't look down on me like everybody else does round here.
04:27Well, where's that Pete got to?
04:30Well, I don't know.
04:32They can't be drinking this time of a Saturday morning.
04:35Can't open the pub till I've cleaned it.
04:38Oh, I don't know.
04:40I've got a pregnant daughter.
04:42Gordon no one knows who the father is.
04:44A runaway son.
04:45A newborn baby.
04:47And all you two can worry about is that wretched firework display committee.
04:52Well, we're ain't trying to be good neighbours, poor me.
04:54Yeah, well, I'm off to work in that sweatshop now.
04:58That is, if it hasn't been blown up by a bomb in the night
05:00and nothing would surprise me round here anymore.
05:02I'm an hour late for work.
05:04I'll see you later.
05:05Ta-ta.
05:06Fee and sis.
05:07Yes, they're in, but they're not all there if you ask me.
05:09See you later.
05:15Well?
05:16Well, I've got some good news and bad news for you.
05:19Now, the bad news is they don't want you on the committee.
05:22That'll be half as doing.
05:24He wants to surround himself with yes men.
05:27And the second good news is they want you to be witches.
05:30Witches?
05:31Witches?
05:32Is this some kind of wind-up?
05:34No, Mum.
05:35They want you, Dot and Ethel, to dress up as witches on Halloween night
05:38and go round and collect money for the fireworks.
05:40Well, Mum?
05:41It's a bit far-fetched, isn't it?
05:43You wanted to do your little bit to help, Mum.
05:45Ethel?
05:46Oh, well, I don't know.
05:47I like to be in bed by ten o'clock weekday nights.
05:51All right, I'll get it.
05:55Hello, Michelle.
05:56All right?
05:56Yeah, well, well.
05:58I'm just going to see Michelle.
06:00Oh, go on up.
06:01She's upstairs.
06:03Here, Ethel.
06:03You best get her moving or she'll get nicked.
06:05Oh, does that mean your father's going to get me arrested if I'm late for work?
06:10Which I am.
06:11Yeah, but your broomstick's parked on a double yellow line.
06:13Oh.
06:14Highly comical, I must say.
06:17Cheers.
06:18Do you know, I don't think I've ever loved you more than I do right now.
06:22What's brought this on in, eh?
06:24You've been slipping something to the teapot?
06:26Oh, silly.
06:27I don't mean that sort of love.
06:29I mean, togetherness.
06:31Buying our own home and all that.
06:33And all what?
06:35Security, contentment.
06:37I've never had a proper home in the home before.
06:39You sure not just running away from the memories of her saying?
06:42At first I thought maybe I was, but now the idea of a new home does more than anything I
06:47know
06:47to help ease the pain.
06:49Not that anything could, of course.
06:52Not sure I follow all that.
06:54We could even start a new family.
06:56You'd like that, wouldn't you?
06:58More than anything else in the world.
07:00Right, you saw me on the whole idea.
07:02I found my brother up.
07:04He knows the best mortgage companies with the best rates.
07:13There's no time like a present.
07:14No.
07:15You won't regret it.
07:17Ah, mime.
07:18Dina, saati kibbutchuk davai bi-bagi, yeah?
07:22I mean, you must admit, I have been better with me time keeping.
07:27Sometimes I've even come early.
07:30So what happened this morning then?
07:32Oh, well, yes.
07:34That's a bit of temporary amnesia, you see.
07:37Due to all this firework nonsense.
07:40Well, he always throws a big mood, doesn't he?
07:43Well, your lucky den's not here.
07:45Otherwise, you'd see some real fireworks.
07:47And Ethel, can you open the doors?
07:49We're late as it is.
07:50Yes, all right.
07:52Where is he then?
07:53Looked under your bed, but he's not there.
07:54Where's who?
07:55Rowley?
07:55No, Seve Ballesteros.
07:57Where are you hiding here?
07:58Oh, Seve Ballesteros.
07:59I'll be glad when this half-turmoled is over.
08:01Perhaps you'll get back to normal then.
08:04Mum?
08:04What now?
08:05You never guess what I've one of them found in the cupboard?
08:10They can't be Dad's, can they?
08:12He got a new set for his birthday.
08:14No, they're mine, and you haven't seen them.
08:16Neither has Ethel, and neither have I.
08:18Ew, what do you know about golf?
08:20Aha.
08:21Mum?
08:22What?
08:23I don't know what you're doing.
08:25Here, here.
08:25You want to watch yourself with one of them.
08:27You could do yourself a mischief.
08:29Four?
08:30Oh, no, no.
08:32There must be seven or eight in here.
08:34Ethel, it's what golfers you are
08:36when they're going to hit someone in the back with the ball.
08:38Oh, round here, they just say, mind your backs, please.
08:41Ethel, why don't you get on with the oeuvre, innit?
08:44Yes, all right.
08:45You want to be careful, Mum.
08:46She might put a spell on you.
08:48Action stations.
08:50Oh, bonus on me, young.
08:52Yeah.
08:52What is it?
08:53That, my long-legged lovely,
08:55is the kind of music that's going to earn you your fortune.
08:59Come on, don't hang about.
09:00You've got your living to get.
09:05Oh, show us your muscles, then.
09:06Do what?
09:08Start practising, for God's sake.
09:11Now, swivel them hips.
09:14God wouldn't have given you hips
09:15if he didn't want you to swivel them, now, would he?
09:19What's the matter?
09:20Don't you like the rhythm?
09:20Yeah, of course I do.
09:21I keep telling you I used to be a rock groupie.
09:23We ain't going to be a groupie anymore.
09:25You're going to be a star.
09:26Don't be silly.
09:26No, do you remember, um, Salome and the Seven Veils?
09:30She went down in history.
09:32I don't want to go down in history.
09:33I just want to walk down the street
09:35with a few quid in me purse and me head held high.
09:37If you want to hold your head up, love,
09:39you're going to have to learn to stick your bum out first.
09:40Sheena!
09:52Here, little missy,
09:54would you spare a penny for a poor old lady's guy?
09:57Well, little missy, I'll set my pussy on you.
09:59What's wrong with you two?
10:01Yeah, Michelle, we'd better go down the doctors.
10:02Whatever these two's got's probably catching, isn't it?
10:04It's called Witches, Lofty.
10:06Witches.
10:06Yeah, it sounds nasty.
10:08Well, I saw this.
10:08You look like Barry Sheen and Drake.
10:10I've got her on with for you and all.
10:11Oh?
10:12Well, in motorbike lessons, didn't you?
10:13I borrowed this off my mate.
10:14Oh, Michelle, meet your new driving instructor.
10:16He'll teach you how to open your clutch
10:18and ease your throttle.
10:19Oi!
10:20Brand's acting a bad day out here,
10:21especially with Lofty in the saddle.
10:22What's going on?
10:23Lofty's given me a motorbike lessons.
10:24In your condition, are you mad?
10:26Look, I'm a big girl now, dear.
10:28And I've told you before,
10:28these things are death traps
10:29and it's not just yourself you've got to think of now, you know?
10:31And anyway,
10:32Lofty couldn't teach anyone to skateboard.
10:35All right?
10:37Cheers.
10:39Is it true you might be selling the shop, sir?
10:41You're about the sixth person
10:42that's asked me that this morning.
10:44Are you?
10:44Or does that depend on Naima?
10:46What's Naima got to do with it?
10:47Have you heard from him lately?
10:49No, as a matter of fact, I haven't.
10:50And yes, I may be forced to sell up.
10:53Oh, I'm sorry.
10:56Look, I'm toying with the idea of starting up a business of some kind.
10:59Yeah?
11:00Yeah, now, have you got ten minutes to spare?
11:02Maybe we could pop to the cafe,
11:04have a cup of tea or something.
11:05It's just I'd like to ask you a few questions.
11:07No harm in that, I suppose.
11:09Look, call round later
11:10and I'll close the shop up early for you, especially, okay?
11:13Oh, great.
11:13See you later, then.
11:14All right.
11:16Oh, that was the easy part we just did.
11:18Oh, God, if that was the easy part,
11:19I'd like to see what the hard part's like.
11:21Well, you will in a minute if we could find a few props.
11:24What kind of props?
11:25Oh, it's silly me asking, really,
11:27but I suppose things like silk stockings or silk gloves, you know.
11:31As it happens.
11:34Ta-da!
11:37These do?
11:37My life.
11:38Where'd you get them from?
11:39I nicked them, didn't I?
11:41Are you full of surprises?
11:42Yeah, well, I'm still paying the fines off.
11:44Hey, you want to be more careful.
11:45You never know who you're talking to.
11:47No, like I said, it's different with you.
11:49I can trust you.
11:50You're the first person I've found
11:52that I can really tell me troubles to, you know.
11:54Well, didn't the law confiscate these, then?
11:56No.
11:57I hid a few bits and bobs just in case they came in handy.
11:59Well, they have now.
12:01But you won't get up to any more of this thieving lark now, will you?
12:03What you need is a good, straight job, my girl,
12:06and what could be more honest
12:07than showing off what the good Lord gave you?
12:09If you want to flourish, give them a flash.
12:11That's my motto.
12:13Now, the next bit's got to be done more slowly,
12:16much more artistically.
12:18One of the oldest art forms in the world, this is, you know.
12:20I know.
12:21I'll be getting old myself soon
12:22if you don't hurry up and show me.
12:23Well, that's the whole point.
12:25The climax of the show must never be hurried.
12:28You've got to make the punter pant.
12:30Keep him old in his breath.
12:32All that frantic bum-wigling
12:33was just to get the old adrenaline going.
12:35Now, watch this.
12:42Every time you take one of these off,
12:45it's like peeling off a ten-pound note for yourself.
12:52But I told you about Saeed's father and his business
12:54and the strictest confidence.
12:56Strictest confidence?
12:57Don't make me laugh.
12:58It's all round the square.
12:59And who put it all round the bloody square?
13:01Are you suggesting I did?
13:03Well, I don't know anyone else who could have known.
13:05I don't know anyone else but you
13:06would go and bully the man like that
13:07just as you bully those poor kids
13:09over the Nick Ware business.
13:09Don't mind keeping your voice down.
13:11Why?
13:12Too embarrassing for your newfound friend here.
13:14You'd hear you squabbling in the gutter, is it?
13:16Well, you're beginning to embarrass me lately.
13:17Lady bloody muck.
13:19That's it you're fast becoming.
13:20And nasty with it too.
13:21Excuse me, Andy.
13:22Mind if I have a word for you a minute, Debs?
13:24I need to get rid of this charm over a minute.
13:26Pleasure's all mine, darling.
13:29Giving you hard time, is he?
13:31Sometimes he turns into a ride.
13:32So-and-so.
13:33Must be something in the Walford air.
13:35Yeah.
13:35They reckon they're macho men round here.
13:37Right mummy's boys, most of them.
13:39Buy your drink.
13:40I want to bend your ear back for a while.
13:42Why not?
13:44You know that set of gold clothes Debs bought me?
13:47Well, I want to surprise him too.
13:49I want to say thank you in a special way.
13:52Well, you know what they say.
13:53The way to a man's heart's through his stomach.
13:55Yeah, the way to my Debs' heart's usually through his wallet.
13:58Look, why don't you prepare him a delicious meal?
14:00Get rid of Sharon for the evening and lay it on in style.
14:03Subtle.
14:04Ooh, soft lights and music, eh?
14:07Precisely.
14:07Oysters?
14:08Yes.
14:09The girls round here used to swear by them.
14:11Try truffles.
14:12They're the oldest turn on tricking the book.
14:13You're a genius.
14:14I'll tell you what.
14:15I'll look up the recipe for you on my cookery book.
14:17Oh, you're going to need history book.
14:18When was the last time someone in Albert Square sat down to truffles?
14:22It'll have to be white wine, of course.
14:23Right.
14:24Very dry, very crisp.
14:25Don't give him a heavy burgundy.
14:27You don't even fall in your fleet, by the way, do you?
14:28Well, not till I've given him his present, I don't.
14:31You know, some people say curry's an aphrodisiac.
14:34Tony made one for me once.
14:36Didn't do much for me.
14:37Tony?
14:38What, you and our tongue?
14:39Yeah, Calvin's dad.
14:40Who else?
14:41Blimey, he gets around in his tea break, doesn't he?
14:44Cheers.
14:46Oh, here comes our Naution shining armor.
14:50That's a very nice romantic notion, Ethel, darling.
14:52But I'm just the dude who's come to change locks.
14:55Oh, you don't know how nice it is to have a man around the house again.
14:59Do you know?
15:00I've been living on my nerves since that break-in.
15:03And if Dot hadn't come back, I don't know what I'd have done.
15:06I reckon I'd have had a break-out, not a break-in.
15:10Well, I don't know what the world's coming to.
15:12I mean, I can remember the time when we all had our keys dangling on a bit of string behind
15:15the letterbox.
15:16Anyone could walk in, day or night.
15:19Oh, it used to be like that where I came from, too.
15:21Not anymore, though.
15:22Yeah, well, Dot and I aren't holding the keys to these premises anymore.
15:25Yes, we're just going to give them back to the government.
15:28Oh, do you know his address?
15:29Yes, I've got it written down.
15:30OK, when I finish here, I'll drop them off to the bossman and tell him your decision.
15:34There's my shining armor, man.
15:36Come here, Tony.
15:37I'll show you which locks are to be done.
15:39You know, it's all very well, Dot, going on about the good old days and keys on bits of string
15:44and that.
15:45But it's only Nick and his kind that make it all the trouble we've got today.
15:49Do you think Nick might have something to do with this job, then?
15:52I'm sure of it, and so do a lot of other people's and all of them.
15:56I mean, it's just not fair on her.
15:58You can't talk about it in front of Dot.
16:00Well, Nicky, right on both counts, you know.
16:02It's a shame about his mum, though.
16:03I mean, we all want to be proud of our kids, don't we?
16:05Yeah, he must be worrying the poor woman half to death.
16:08I feel almost as sorry for Dot as I do have her son's victims.
16:12Mirror, mirror on a wall.
16:14Tell me, am I the fairest of them all?
16:17Can be soppy, Effie.
16:18Oh, I was a queen in Snow White.
16:20Right, what are you two soppy-apes doing out here?
16:22Practise in.
16:23We're going to dress up as witches for the kids' fireworks night.
16:26Your mum's a witch, too.
16:27Oh, yeah?
16:28She won't need much practice.
16:30It's summertime.
16:32Well, you sound happy.
16:34Hey, you're looking at one very happy fella.
16:37After all this time, the first floor of my house is almost ready,
16:40and any day now, my first tenants will be moving in.
16:43That's nice.
16:43I don't know how you managed to fit it all in.
16:46You're doing our posters, too, aren't you?
16:48Our posters?
16:48Yeah.
16:49Yes, yes, for the fireworks, you're designing them.
16:52Oh, am I?
16:53First I've heard.
16:54What was it your girl, Vincent?
16:56Oh, yeah, and I remember he said,
16:57if you've won anything done, ask the busiest man in town.
17:00He told us.
17:01Oh, you said that?
17:02Yeah.
17:02I like that.
17:04Oh, well, if my son gave you ladies' word,
17:07there's no way I can break it, can I?
17:09Oh, stand still and I'll polish your armor.
17:15Sue, who's there?
17:16What a surprise.
17:18I love it.
17:20Is that all the matter, is there?
17:22I mean, he hasn't had an accident or anything.
17:24No, no, he hasn't had an accident.
17:25But there's plenty of the matter.
17:27And with his brother, Megmet.
17:28You just sit down, eh?
17:30I'll make a cup of tea.
17:31You can tell me all about it.
17:32No, no, I can't stop long.
17:33If Megmet knows anything, he'll kill me.
17:35Two teas for me, Sue.
17:36Or do you prefer coffee?
17:38Oh, no, tea's fine.
17:39Yes, thanks.
17:40Uh, am I not disturbing anything, are you?
17:43No, this is Alice's sister-in-law.
17:45Oh, hi.
17:46Hi.
17:46You're, uh, nice to meet you.
17:48I'm just having a family matter.
17:49All right, cheers.
17:50Sit.
17:51I hope you don't mind all this.
17:53Only if I was ever interested in opening my own shop,
17:56these are the sort of questions I'd need to know the answers to.
17:58Far away.
17:59OK.
18:00Where do you get your stock from?
18:02How many regular customers do you have?
18:04Should one change your sort of business into, say,
18:07a delicatessen to a health food shop?
18:08I mean, is there a future for the small store?
18:11What special requests do you have that you can't cater for?
18:14And not using them for a mortgage?
18:17I don't understand.
18:19Horses.
18:20Horses?
18:21They're putting that money on horses, Sue.
18:24Every penny of it.
18:26Well, he's been working three shifts.
18:28I mean, we actually had a few, Bob.
18:29They're gambling with it.
18:31Maybe he's pretending to me that we're going to have a new house, too.
18:35Well, maybe we will one day.
18:37If they win.
18:38It's my flight.
18:39Yeah, and that is why we've got to stop them now, before it goes any further.
18:43How do you know all this?
18:44I mean, I've heard Ali on the phone talking to Mehmet about mortgages, right?
18:48Sue.
18:49You don't understand the language, do you?
18:51When Ali phones Mehmet, they do not talk about mortgages.
18:56How do your prices work out against the supermarkets?
18:59Do you cut price anyone?
19:00Do you advertise?
19:01What are your storage facilities?
19:03Look, just a minute, please.
19:06Let's come up for air.
19:07Bye, Sue.
19:08Bye.
19:09Thanks for nothing.
19:10No, I mean it.
19:11Thanks.
19:14Best of luck.
19:18It'll take me hours to work all that lot out.
19:20There's no immediate rush.
19:22I mean, I'm only toying with the idea for future bedrooms.
19:24Only toying?
19:25I feel like I should fasten my seatbelt.
19:28Look, leave the pad with me.
19:31I'll study it and let you know my feelings later on.
19:33All right?
19:34Great, thanks.
19:37Here.
19:38Give us one of them big juicy apples, will you, darling?
19:42Right, you pigs.
19:43Didn't see that Tom Jones film, did you?
19:45Years ago it was.
19:46Where he keeps biting into this fruit,
19:48suggesting he wants to have it off with this bird.
19:50I don't go in for blue films, thanks.
19:53No, I want no blue movie.
19:54I was only 14 when I saw it.
19:55So?
19:56So.
19:57Just trying to make polite conversation.
19:59You don't know the mean of the word.
20:01What, polite or conversation?
20:02Either.
20:03I haven't seen Michelle recently, have you?
20:05What's it got to do with you?
20:07Well, I was just thinking how hard it must be for a young girl, pregnant, no-one to turn to.
20:14I thought maybe you could give her some advice.
20:16By the way, I don't know who the father is, do you?
20:19Why don't you neff off?
20:20Excuse me, Cathy.
20:22I'd like a word with you, young man.
20:24Blimey.
20:25You must be the only person around here who does.
20:28Apart from me old mum, of course.
20:30Well, go on then, Doc.
20:32Give it to me straight.
20:33I can take it.
20:33How long have I got to live?
20:35Ah, now, that's your problem, isn't it, living?
20:37Knowing how to live decently, I mean.
20:39Oh, come on.
20:40I might have found a few wobblers in the time, but...
20:42Wobblers?
20:43Yeah.
20:43Done one or two things I didn't know what to do, but, I mean...
20:45But you didn't break into my surgery, and you didn't rob the laundry.
20:48Is that what you're trying to tell me?
20:50Here we go again.
20:51Give a dog a bad name, eh?
20:53Yes, and you know what they say about leopards and their spots, don't you?
20:56I know what they say, all right.
20:57No-one knows it better.
20:59Do one of two naughty things as a kid, and he stays with you from the cradle to the grave.
21:03Very poetic.
21:04No.
21:04I didn't break into your surgery, and I didn't turn the laundry over.
21:08Knowing around here is going to believe me, are they?
21:12What's the problem?
21:14No problem.
21:15Oh, come on, I've heard nothing but the cold shoulder from you for the past day.
21:17I've heard from you, what's that?
21:18Don't come near me.
21:20What's the matter with your nail, for God's sake?
21:21And don't bring God's name into it, either.
21:23He's been really good to me, hasn't he?
21:25First he takes my baby away, and then he has you throwing all our hard-earned money down the drain.
21:29I wish I knew what you were talking about.
21:31I'm talking about your phony building society.
21:34Bookmaker society, more like.
21:36What do you mean?
21:37Your sister-in-law came to see me today.
21:40I don't know how she had the nerve to stand up to you two, but she did.
21:43What, guzzing?
21:44Yes.
21:45We've got a lot in common, haven't we, both married to compulsive gamblers?
21:48Gamblers?
21:49How you thought you could kid me with all that spiel on the phone?
21:52She understands the lingo, remember?
21:54She knows what six before the field means in Turkish.
21:57She just got it all wrong.
21:59No, I was the one who got it all wrong.
22:01I was such a mug standing here making plans with you.
22:05You've got as much more power as a snowflake.
22:08Listen, I was only trying to raise money for the both of us.
22:11Both of us?
22:11Yeah, for the both of us.
22:13Do you think I'll be out there all night long slaving away in that cab if I wasn't married to
22:16you?
22:16No, you'd be up the bloody racetrack all day long.
22:18Listen, we've got a system.
22:19It can't fail.
22:20The system will stuff your system and stuff you.
22:26Don't you've got mums to go to, you two?
22:28He kicks me out all hours, doesn't he?
22:30Well, we've got a lot of catching up to do, haven't we, Hedge?
22:32I bet he's dying to know what you've got up to in Ilford.
22:34Yeah, trouble is he minding like somebody answers.
22:37Speaking of answers, you come to a decision yet?
22:39Oh, you've got to say yes, Wixie.
22:40I need someone to read me bedtime stories.
22:42Mum's always too busy.
22:44Aye, aye.
22:44What's all this long?
22:45Oh, we've asked Wixie to become our full-time loving.
22:49Sorry, I mean living bum.
22:50Sharon.
22:51Aye, aye.
22:52Harry, Harry, Harry, you've got a chance to marry
22:57a nice little widow with a nice little puppy.
23:01She ain't no widow, is she?
23:02That can always be arranged, darling.
23:05Well, I've given them out a hell of a lot of thought.
23:08And?
23:08And the answer is yeah, I'd love to.
23:10Oh, great.
23:11So you can move in in a couple of days, eh?
23:12Yeah, that's a while now.
23:14Yeah, well, congratulations are in order,
23:15but we'd better be getting our skates on.
23:17Hang on, hang on, Pete.
23:18This calls for a little celebration.
23:30Here we're home, Kath.
23:31Oh, that's where you are.
23:33Oh, Maya.
23:34I was beginning to think this place was an hotel.
23:35We was booking in and out for bed and breakfast.
23:37Yeah, look, you sit yourself down there, son,
23:39and you're going to get the tastiest night and fault you've had in years.
23:45They sometimes get a little bit niggly when you come home late.
23:48Understandable, I suppose.
23:50Oh, but when I think our times have changed, oh.
23:53Here, my old grandfather, that'd be your great-grandfather, wouldn't it?
23:57Yeah.
23:57Yeah.
23:57My old grandfather, he would come home from the Vic for his handy lunch,
24:01and if he never liked the way his dinner was cooked,
24:04you know what he'd do?
24:04Chuck it straight on the fire,
24:06and make my old gran, God bless her, cook him another one.
24:09And she did too, without a murmur, mate.
24:11Oh, sorry, gentlemen.
24:13It's way past last night just for dinner.
24:15I could bring you a sandwich in the lounge, though.
24:17What would you like?
24:18Am, cheese, rat poison?
24:20Oh, come on, Kath, I could eat all's.
24:22Not here you couldn't, mate.
24:23Oh, come on, Kath, get the dinner on the table.
24:25There's a good girl.
24:26Your dinner, or what's left of it, is in the bin.
24:29Burnt to a cinder, and so's his.
24:31I really am sorry, Kathy.
24:32I don't know what to say.
24:33It's not your fault, Simon.
24:35You're too young to know about these things.
24:36But he should know better.
24:38Are you serious?
24:39Are you telling me that you've banged out dinner in that bin again?
24:42You've been warned enough, Pete.
24:44At least four times in the past week, by my reckoning.
24:46Well, you're well and truly out of order, my girl.
24:48Tell her, Simon.
24:49Ain't she well and truly out of order?
24:51I ain't forced to stand over at Stove, you know.
24:53I mean, there's nothing in the Ten Commandments
24:55that says they'll shut up and cook that old man's dinner
24:57while he's knocking them back down the boozer.
24:59And what about the money we're wasting on food?
25:01Look, why don't I drive the three of us up the West End
25:03and we'll have a slap up dinner all down to me, eh?
25:05In that state, you'd get Nick before you got halfway down the road.
25:08Well, this ain't good enough, my girl.
25:10You're right, it ain't, Pete.
25:11And the sooner you get the message, the better.
25:13There's nothing a woman hates more than having to cook a meal for a man
25:15and he can't be bothered to eat it.
25:17I've got enough problems now without this.
25:19Look, Simon's got himself a job.
25:21He's leaving.
25:22He's going to work in the Vic as a living barman.
25:25And we were just celebrating, weren't we?
25:27Oh.
25:27Well, there might be another leaving party soon.
25:30Cos the way things are going, young Simon there won't be the only one.
25:32I'll be on me bike and all.
25:34In fact, I'm off for some fresh air.
25:35Right now.
25:40Oh.
25:41We'll have to stop meeting like this.
25:43Get out of my way.
25:45Look, I'm just about sick of you the last couple of days.
25:48If I tell my old man about this, he'll wring your bleeding neck.
25:50Oh, yeah.
25:51Tell him about the kid then, did you?
25:53Tell him what?
25:54You know what.
25:56How old was you when you had that kid?
25:57Fourteen, was it?
26:00All right.
26:01If you've got something to say, say it.
26:02Oh, I'm sorry.
26:03I thought I already had.
26:05When you was fourteen, you had a baby, right?
26:07And don't deny it.
26:08Cos I got it from the horse's mouth.
26:10Official.
26:11Know what I mean?
26:12So that's where my bloody file went.
26:14I'll have the law on you for breaking into doctor leg surgery.
26:16Oh, yeah?
26:17And blow the gaff on your little secret.
26:20Seems Michelle wasn't the only one round here who got pregnant.
26:23Wonder how many others there are.
26:24Look, what do you want from me?
26:26Not a lot, considering.
26:28You can count yourself lucky, really.
26:30I know plenty of geezers in my position who'd love to have their wicked way over you.
26:34And that's just to say the least.
26:35I mean, you're quite a tasty bird, ain't you?
26:38But it just so happens, I'm in a bit of financial bother right now.
26:43Run out of money for drugs, did you?
26:44Careful.
26:45You don't want me all upset now, do you?
26:47I go mouthing off about you.
26:51Fair much.
26:53That's better.
26:56It just so happens I need about, er, 200 nicknay right now.
26:59A bit swiftish, like.
27:00I'm sure you understand.
27:01200?
27:02I ain't got that sort of money.
27:04I didn't say all at once, did I?
27:05What do you take me for?
27:07A villain or something?
27:09Go on, then.
27:10Give me the details.
27:12Well, you see, er, I reckon I can talk this geezer into paying him weekly installments.
27:1720 sovs a time.
27:19You'd better come and see me on the store when Pete's not there.
27:22It'll be my pleasure.
27:24Always thought you weren't just a pretty face.
27:26Now let me pass.
27:32Hope you haven't got another date tonight somewhere.
27:35Could prove to be a very expensive little lobby that could...
27:46Take care of yourself.
27:47Let me see you next time.
27:47Check it out.
27:47Bye.
27:47My forearms.
27:51Bye.
27:51Bye.
27:56Bye.
28:03Bye.
28:04Bye.
28:07Bye.