- 2 days ago
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00:00I can't believe it!
00:02It is the same one!
00:03Oh, Tim! It's not!
00:05It's red or yellow!
00:07No!
00:08I'm thinking of your bickering!
00:13Mum, look at this orgasm!
00:15Oh, and their rhino scones, Tim!
00:18A thousand bucks!
00:21So, when's the big day?
00:23Oh, it's not my wedding. I'm already married.
00:26So you're the bride then, are you?
00:28Oh, no! I wish!
00:30No, it's actually my wedding.
00:32A mature age bride!
00:35That's rather special, isn't it?
00:37We don't get a lot of ladies your age in.
00:40So, you'll be wanting something low-key?
00:43Oh, no! It's a fairytale wedding!
00:45Aren't they all?
00:47No, that's the same.
00:48Mrs. D is going to be by Pete.
00:50Yep, and I'm going to have a pumpkin style coat
00:52and period footman.
00:55Lovely!
00:57Yes.
00:58So, today, we just want to look for the bridesmaids' headpieces
01:02that are going to team with that.
01:04They're going to team with that theme.
01:08I might leave you two of them.
01:10Alright, thank you.
01:11Bye.
01:14That's alright.
01:15No, lower. Lower, Kim. Lower.
01:17I can't see!
01:18No, but it's more elegant if you can't see, Kim.
01:20I look like bloody Phantom of the Opera.
01:22Well, you could do worse, Kim.
01:24Oh, that Michael Crawford gets me hot.
01:26Not as hot as Kel, mind you.
01:29Now, that's it. That's cool.
01:30Oh, wow! Look at this, Mrs. D.
01:32This would be really beautiful on you. Look, it's got a snooze.
01:35Oh, that would go beautiful, King Henry VIII. Try it on.
01:38Yeah, try it on, Mrs. D.
01:41Oh, what's this thing for?
01:43Oh, it's a modesty flat. Goes like so.
01:45Oh, look.
01:46You could cover your crow's feet.
01:48I look like witchy poo.
01:50Well, it's a snooze bit.
01:51That's it, Kim. I've had it with you.
01:53I'm joking, Mum. Where's your sense of humour?
01:56It's not my fault Kel's losing interest.
01:58You know I'm keeping your voices down, please, ladies.
02:01Kel is not losing interest, Kim.
02:03He's just up against it at the moment.
02:05Just say it. Don't spray it.
02:06Time out. Time out, ladies, please.
02:11It's mine, Kim. It's I'm so horny.
02:15Hello?
02:17Well, hi, Kel.
02:19Tonight?
02:20Nothing.
02:21No, no, I'll cook. You're busy.
02:23What do you feel like?
02:25Seafood? Pasta?
02:27I could just throw you something on the hot rocks.
02:29Okay, 7.30?
02:31Alright, your great hunker's phone.
02:32Ta-ra.
02:41Hello?
02:43Melissa?
02:45This evening?
02:48What?
02:49What time?
02:516.30?
02:53Oh, that'll be cutting a bit.
02:54Fine.
02:56Oh, no, I want to.
02:57No, I really want to.
02:58Yeah.
02:59Look.
03:00Yeah, look.
03:01I'll be there, alright?
03:02Yeah.
03:03Yeah, I'll be there.
03:04I'm really looking forward to it.
03:06Alright, so Kel's coming to tea tonight, Kimmy, so I want you to make yourself scarce, please.
03:10Age before beauty.
03:12You'll keep.
03:13Alright, girls, I'm off-shop shopping, so you M-O-W, please.
03:16What?
03:17Make own way.
03:18See you later.
03:19So, Kimmy, are we going to go to the pub tonight?
03:21See pretty?
03:22Yeah, alright, Sharon.
03:24Oh, Brett, Brett, bloody Brett.
03:25You're loving so much.
03:26Why don't you marry him?
03:28I'm doing that, Kim.
03:29I think it's rude not to go, that's all.
03:35Oh, bugger, they're all split.
03:39Sure you've got enough there?
03:41Kim, you know I have to line my stomach.
03:44You know I'm allergic to alcohol.
03:46Sharon, what do me and Meg Ryan have in common?
03:51Have you done it with Russell Crowe?
03:52No.
03:54But she's beautiful, thin, you know.
03:56Exactly.
03:57And we both had marriage problems.
03:59Success!
04:01Oh, wow, Mrs. Z, what are newcomers?
04:04It's the new homeboy range.
04:06You wear it like so?
04:08Oh, Mum, you look stupid.
04:09You look like Leighton Hewitt.
04:11Well, Leighton is an ambassador for this country, Kim.
04:14That's right.
04:14He's so warm.
04:15Yeah, what are you still doing here?
04:17I've got a lot to do.
04:18I've got to unpack.
04:19I've got cowl coming.
04:20Look, I've got to take a look.
04:20Alright, alright.
04:21Keep your wig on.
04:22I'll go and get my poison purse spray.
04:23Okay?
04:24Look at this.
04:24It's really great.
04:25It's got bubba ganoush, taramithalata tzatziki and avocado dip.
04:30Isn't that great?
04:31Oh, that's unusual, isn't it?
04:31Yeah.
04:32I think Kel will be impressed.
04:33You know, he's a bit of a foodie.
04:34Likes me to keep up with all the latest trends.
04:37Oh, Mrs. D, you know, you could feed him cold-baked beans and he'd still wish at the
04:40ground you walk on.
04:41Oh, that's very nice of you to say, Sharon.
04:45Can I ask you something, Sharon?
04:47Yeah?
04:48How old do you think I look?
04:51Oh, well, I mean, you know, I think you look great, Mrs. D. I mean, you know, you look
04:55after yourself.
04:56You keep yourself trim.
04:57And, you know, to be honest, I think you look like mutton dressed as lamb.
05:01Well, thank you for noticing, Sharon, because I do go to trouble and I appreciate that.
05:06Okay.
05:06Come on.
05:07Let's go.
05:08Come on.
05:08Who's my boyfriend?
05:10Him?
05:11Yeah?
05:11Behave.
05:12I'm not a fucking outfit.
05:13Oh, fun times ahead.
05:21Good shout, Sharon.
05:22No, wait, it's your shout.
05:24No, you owe me.
05:25His wings, his wings.
05:26I can't remember what for, but I remember.
05:29Are you there for your breath?
05:30Yeah, I've had enough fun.
05:32I've tortured him enough.
05:33Poor Breddy.
05:34No, Sharon.
05:35He's got a worm, isn't he?
05:38Just walking.
05:40Where?
05:41Over there.
05:43Don't look.
05:44I need her milk.
05:53I need her milk.
06:01Is this okay?
06:03Break it in place.
06:09I can't take it in place.
06:11I need him enough.
06:13Do I feel if you want.
06:13I can't take it in place.
06:15Do I feel the thinking leap?
06:20...and finish.
06:25You alright?
06:27And now the brighter world.
06:31One, two, three, one, two.
06:34You looking? You can't see it.
06:37Maybe we should go over. How are you? Look, he's not coming. He can't see it.
06:44Are you looking now?
06:45Yes, come on over. I remember. Cold and quiet.
06:49I'm waiting. Sharon?
06:52Kim?
06:53Oh, didn't we get you? Hi, Brittany.
06:56You look really nice. Thanks for inviting us.
06:58Kim wasn't going to come, actually,
06:59on account of how she's, you know, put you in the freezer.
07:01Is that right? Yeah, you know, she reckons
07:03that you treat your foxes, you're getting putty out of it.
07:05Sharon! Sharon! Oh, that's your game, Mr Kim.
07:08What? I thought you came down
07:10and give it another try.
07:11Maybe I did. Well, that's a bad luck,
07:13because let me tell you, Kim, two can play that cone.
07:16You might have put me in the freezer.
07:18I'm going to put you in the cone of five.
07:20What do you mean by that, Fred?
07:22No, Sharon.
07:23Fred?
07:26Thanks, Sharon.
07:28You're welcome.
07:31Maybe Kim was right about Kel.
07:33I'd be speaking an untruth if I said I wasn't a little worried.
07:37I mean, all right.
07:38I am on the wrong side of 25, so shoot me.
07:41What's that?
07:42Perhaps I've been a fool.
07:44He's found himself some 20-year-old bimbo,
07:47some trim little piece.
07:48They're probably doing some horizontal folk dancing as we speak.
07:51Melissa?
07:53Melissa?
07:57Hi, Kel. It's me.
07:59It's 9.30.
08:01My chicken feet are ruined, and you're not here,
08:03but you'd know that because you're a...
08:05Well, I came to the realisation that I have a lot to give as a woman,
08:10and if Kel wasn't going to be responsive to that,
08:13then I will simply move on.
08:16I say poof to you, Kel Knight.
08:19I'm off to find myself some eye candy at the pub.
08:22What have I got that's disco dolly?
08:25And, Kel, remember?
08:27Don't say together, back side together.
08:30Don't say together, back side together.
08:33Thank you, Melissa. Bye-bye.
08:35Bye.
08:38Brett, talk to me.
08:40You've been choosing all.
08:42Brett Dean Craig, if you think this is funny,
08:44I've got news for you, I'm not laughing,
08:46and I've got a very good sense of humour.
08:50Yo, people.
08:51Mum, what are you doing here?
08:53I've come to dance, so don't get jiggy with me, Kim.
08:56What are you coming to look stupid?
08:59I look cool.
09:01Get used to it, Kim.
09:03Hello, hi.
09:04I'm being Aku, we're the one.
09:05Here they come
09:07how bowls and wine,
09:08I'm being with you.
09:13Oh, I stay and said,
09:17and it turns on me.
09:20Oh, baby.
09:36Cat, I can explain.
09:37I'm not talking to you, Kel.
09:39You should be up one too many times.
09:42You're the mid-range.
09:43No, no, you're right.
09:45I didn't mean to stand you up.
09:47What if I surprise for you?
09:49I've been taking dancing lessons for our bridal walls.
09:52So you don't think I'm too old for you?
09:55What?
09:56Come here and get set for the ride that you're on.
10:09They stay around the way you've asked for me.
10:13They didn't talk about you wanting me.
10:17I must admit that's what I want to hear.
10:21But that's your fault until you take me down.
10:25If it's you, leave me all alone out here.
10:30I'm wondering if you're ever going to take me down.
10:34Tell me what you're feeling because I need some more.
10:38Girl, you gotta let me know which...
10:40It's all your fault, Sharon.
10:42Craig, pick up the phone.
10:43I know you're there.
10:45Ready?
10:46Please?
10:50You're sick.
10:52Do you want me to get you a hot dog?
10:53Yeah, double, Sharon.
10:54Go to hell.
11:11Thanks, guys.
11:12Thank you very much.
11:18And I thought you meant me.
11:21You're a non.
11:23A foxy non.
11:25Ever since I was a kid, I've been ridiculed for my bad dancing.
11:28I thought you'd go off me when you realised how bad I was.
11:31You know, you'd be turned off.
11:33No, that's quite the opposite, actually, Kel.
11:36I'm actually quite turned on by your two left feet.
11:39Oh, really?
11:42Oh, that's nice.
11:43What do you call that?
11:44It's my left foot, actually.
11:45I'll just hang it over there.
11:47Is that all right?
11:48I told King Henry VIII to get nicked.
11:50Kel and I are just happy to do it on the front lawn.
11:53I can't believe I was so paranoid about him losing interest.
11:56I mean, I feel great and I look great.
11:58What is this?
12:00I won't speak to anything.
12:01Something all frosty to me.
12:03Oh, well, that's what you call the ice maiden getting her cumminsuppance, Kim.
12:09Ooh, Kel's beginning to sting.
12:11Oh, no pain, no gain.
12:12Actually, Kel's has gone a bit of a maroon, flippy sort of tone.
12:16Oh, really?
12:16That'll go nicer with my Britney Spears top.
12:19Actually, your book's a bit like a pizza, Kim.
12:21Oh, shut up, Mum.
12:22Gourmet.
12:27Oh, shut up.
12:28Why does he always have to mow at wine time?
12:32I don't know.
12:32I guess you think wine time's wine time.
12:34Oh, it's here.
12:35It's very exciting.
12:36Oh, no.
12:37What's the matter, Kim?
12:39I don't want to talk about it.
12:40Oh, come on.
12:41Still your gout.
12:42What's eating you?
12:43Lord Stilton has left Jackie Havarti and run off with Bree.
12:47Oh.
12:48Don't tell me anymore.
12:49I really want to read that.
12:50Oh, I love Barbara Cartland.
12:52Yeah.
12:53Barbara's very underrated, I feel.
12:54Yeah, and underground, that's what happened.
12:56Oh, Kim, you're cruel.
12:58Cruel, but fair.
13:00No, it's good to see you keeping up with your reading.
13:02Thank you, Mum.
13:02Keeping up with your history.
13:05Now, let's have a chance at this.
13:08Woo-hoo-hoo!
13:08Oh.
13:09How is it?
13:10Oh, no.
13:11I thought that earbrushed out the scab.
13:14Oh, no.
13:15I thought it was awesome.
13:16Yeah.
13:16It's different.
13:17I suppose it's different.
13:17It is, yeah.
13:18It's different.
13:19It's a little bit like Minnie Riperton with that.