- 2 days ago
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00:26I'm looking for the dress today.
00:29No way, Jose. It's bad luck.
00:32Mm-hmm. Now, Kim's coming with me.
00:35Yes, she's still here, Kel.
00:38Oh, I don't know why she won't go back.
00:40There's more going on than we realise, though.
00:44Yeah, she's driving me mad, eating me out of house and home.
00:47I'm going to have to say something.
00:49Yes, I'll be nice. No, I will.
00:52Okay, ta-da, doll. Bye.
00:55Kimmy, Kimmy, Kimmy. Look at me, please. Look at me.
00:58Look at me. Look at me.
01:00Now, I've got one word to say to you, Kim.
01:02Go back to Brett, too sweet. Get real. You'll never do any better.
01:06Hi, Mrs Dee. Hi, Kimmy. Hi, Sharon.
01:09I can't believe what I'm hearing, Mum.
01:11Where has this come from?
01:12Kim, you've been sitting on my fatigue for night on three weeks now.
01:16Oh, Kimmy, you're going to tease her, is this her?
01:18Well, she is my best friend, Sharon.
01:20Oh, it's Kel, isn't it? I knew he didn't like me.
01:23No. Now, you know that's not true. You know Kel thinks you are the bee's knees, Kim.
01:27When is it, Kim? This Saturday night. I'm not doing anything this Saturday night.
01:30Well, I've told Brett I can't go back at the moment. I've told him I am not living with that
01:34bloody dog.
01:35Oh, poor little Cujo.
01:37She's a 75-kilo rotty, Mum. You don't know what it's like over there. It's like that movie Single Light
01:43Female.
01:44Oh, I love that film.
01:45Tito thinks she's me. She sits on my side of the bed. She growls at bread. She drinks out of
01:50the toilet bowl.
01:51Oh, Kim.
01:52Next thing you know, she'll be smoking pine lights and shopping at Fountain Gate.
01:55I think you'd better cut down on those diet pills. Those laxatives are messing with your head.
02:02Kim, I'll tell you something for nothing. You may eat like a pig, but you're certainly not a dog.
02:07Well, if I'm not a dog, how come I've got a bitch for a mother?
02:11I heard that.
02:13Brett took me so for granted. I was just a boring old housewife, wasn't I?
02:17I mean, maybe if he had treated me half as nice as he treats Cujo, I would have stayed.
02:22He treats that dog like a bloody princess.
02:25Cujo, what do you want for tea? Cujo, do you want to go for a walk? Cujo, do you want
02:28to have a bath now?
02:29I mean, did Brett ever stop to think that maybe I would like to have been given a bath?
02:40Come in if you're good looking.
02:42Ooh, I like what I see.
02:44How's my foxy fiancee today?
02:47Gorgeous girl.
02:48Listen, I'm going to hightail her down to the supermarket. Do you want anything?
02:51Yeah.
02:51Sit here and we'll make a lift.
02:53G'day, Kim.
02:53Mum, where's the Tiffany fix?
02:55Hidden.
02:55Cal and I like to have one after two of the night time and the packet's always empty.
03:00Anyway, Brett wouldn't want you eating though.
03:02No, he saves him for bloody Cujo.
03:04Do you need any more of that canned tuna sandwich?
03:06Yeah, I do.
03:08Kim, what is going to get you back with Brett?
03:11Because from where Cal and I are sitting, you are clutching at spanners at the moment.
03:16One minute Brett's the spanner, the next Cujo's the spanner.
03:19Who's going to be the next spanner?
03:20I don't know, Mum. I'm confused.
03:22How are you off the took paper?
03:24I don't know, actually. I've got to go, so I'll check.
03:30You're not your normal cheery self, are you, Kim?
03:33Is there anything I can do to help?
03:34No.
03:36Actually, if you know where the deputy fix, say, could you get me one, please?
03:41Alright, but don't tell your mum. Just turn around for a second.
03:54Affirmative to a paper doll.
03:56Look at the time, Kim. I've got my bridal fitting down at Fountain Gate.
03:59You go and get ready.
04:04I hate my hair.
04:06Maybe I'll get Tina to cut it all off at her hair instead, but...
04:09Yeah, you could get it layered and some nice feathering on the ends.
04:12I want it all off. Really short.
04:15Short?
04:16No, Kim, not your crowning glory.
04:18Guys like long hair on a lady, especially when it's on her head.
04:22I don't care what guys like at this late stage.
04:33No.
04:40No.
04:41No.
04:41No.
04:43No.
04:54Oh, Mum.
04:55That's it.
04:57Oh, that's so nice.
04:59Oh, Mum with those people why they're so cute!
05:02No!
05:06Oh, Mum.
05:07wants? Why does it always have to be about what the guy wants? What do you want, Mum?
05:11Geez, Jermaine, calm down. Now, what do you reckon? Kim, the hook?
05:15Or the crook? Mum, I just had an idea. You could have little sheep
05:19as a tendon. Oh, Kim, yes, a little boy and a little girl sheep
05:23dressed up in a bib and race in a fairy costume with jiffies. Yeah, later at the reception we could
05:27put them both on the spit roast. Good thinking. That'd save us some lure. And that could be
05:31the theme of your wedding. Mutton dressed as lamb.
05:38No, thank you, Kim, for today.
05:41Your ideas, Remiconuvial, is much appreciated.
05:44Especially if you're going through your own couple of times to threaten Pujo.
05:47Not to fret, Mum. But what is it, Kim?
05:51Come on, you can tell me. I won't judge you. I think maybe now, I don't know,
05:55maybe marriage isn't for me. Oh, don't be stupid, Kim. Of course marriage
05:58is for you. It's the normal thing to do. Maybe I want to be different. Explore things.
06:03Don't go all weird on me, Kim. That is classic, Mum.
06:07She thinks she's so open-minded and so out there, but she's so not. Whereas I am willing
06:13to try new things. I've even bloody dained to have a get-to-know session with Pujo.
06:18Brett's idea.
06:22She doesn't like me, Brett. I told you.
06:25She can smell your fear. Bah, bah.
06:28Down, Pujo. Down.
06:30Not down. Bah. You've got to say bah. The command is bah.
06:33Bah, bloody bah.
06:34Stay. Stay. Watch this. You've got to get the ball.
06:38Go.
06:39Is it clever?
06:41Yeah, well, I could do that.
06:44Where are you coming home, Kim?
06:47Major?
06:51Don't know how to use the washing machine.
06:54Oh, right.
06:55Oh, that's all I am for you, a slave, isn't it?
06:57Well, I don't know how to use the washing machine either, Brett.
07:00Keep it on going.
07:01Stay, Kim.
07:03Stay.
07:03Stay.
07:04Stay.
07:06Ow!
07:07What?
07:07Sorry, I meant Pujo.
07:10Kim?
07:18Oh, how's Brett?
07:20Still got one thing on his mind.
07:21Oh, that sounded promising.
07:23Pujo, Mum.
07:24His dog.
07:25Bloody men, I'm over them.
07:27There you go, mate.
07:29Very butch of it, Kim.
07:31Hi, Mrs. D.
07:32Hi, Sharon.
07:33Hi, Sharon.
07:34You're not.
07:35Oh, what's all this?
07:36Oh, I've taken up golf, Mrs. D.
07:38Oh, really?
07:39Yeah.
07:39Me and the girls are going to go down the peninsula next month playing a tournament.
07:42Which girls?
07:43Oh, you know, Katie, Ellen, Martina, just the usual gang.
07:46Maybe I could try a golf.
07:48Oh, yes, Kimmy, you'd be great.
07:50Oh, you'd be a natural.
07:52You could play with us.
07:53The girls are muddy.
07:54You'd fit right in.
07:54No, I don't think so, Kim.
07:56Why not?
07:57Well, no offence, Sharon, but I'm not that mad on the gear.
07:59I'm not very feminine.
08:00It's sport, Mum.
08:02It's not meant to be feminine.
08:03I reckon I'll be good at this.
08:04So, which way do you swing?
08:06Oh, either way's fine.
08:07Yeah?
08:07Can you show me?
08:08Yeah, sure.
08:09Alrighty.
08:10You just, alright?
08:11You kind of get your hips like that.
08:12Oh, that feels good.
08:13I like that, Sharon.
08:14Yeah, you like that?
08:14Oh, why don't you come down the driving range with me tomorrow?
08:17We could back a few more.
08:18Hey, Sharon, there are no guys, though.
08:20Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
08:21Guy for his own.
08:22Tell the guy for his own.
08:22Can you tell me again?
08:23Yep.
08:23Yep.
08:23No, just you, me, Katie, Alan, Martina.
08:26That's the way we like it.
08:29Oh, well, why don't we tell?
08:30Yeah, I need to get out of the house.
08:32That'd be nice.
08:33I'll be ready.
08:34Bye.
08:35Bye.
08:42Well, if I am so attractive, Kim, how come I can't get a guy?
08:46I don't know.
08:48Well, I'm going to do something about it.
08:50Did you see current affair the other night?
08:52They had a thing on speed dating.
08:53It looks fantastic.
08:54No?
08:55Sounds stupid.
08:55No, Kimmy, it's great.
08:57Don't forget the boot.
08:58You have six girls and six guys, and you talk for six minutes,
09:02and then the guys decide which ones they want to marry.
09:04I reckon I'm definitely going to give it a go.
09:06What, you're going to talk to six guys?
09:08Maybe I'll come.
09:09Kim, you can't.
09:10You're already married.
09:11Well, maybe that's my problem, Sharon.
09:13Maybe I got married too young.
09:15Maybe I didn't have enough chance to sow my rolled oats enough.
09:17I don't think that's true, Kim.
09:19No, no, it'll be fun having guys swarming all over me again.
09:22Brett takes me for granted.
09:24He's got to realise just exactly what he married.
09:27I think he already does, Kim.
09:28God, I'm starving.
09:30Hippity-bitch.
09:32Isn't it weird, do you?
09:33I would love the idea.
09:35Quick, come here.
09:36What?
09:36I need you.
09:37What are you doing?
09:39Do you want me to get this off quick before mum comes?
09:51This pino is excellent.
09:53Hmm?
09:54You're very quiet today, lovely lady.
09:56Penny to your thoughts.
09:57Oh, no, I'm just enjoying my curly.
09:59No, there's something going on in that pretty little hair of yours that you're not telling
10:02me.
10:04Kel, you're right.
10:06You can read me like a book.
10:09I can't keep it in.
10:11What is it?
10:11What's happened?
10:13It's Kim.
10:14All is revealed, Kel.
10:15Well, we now know why she won't go back to British.
10:20Kel, Kim is a homosexual.
10:23Is that all?
10:24I thought it was something serious.
10:26Don't worry about it.
10:27Say she's the gate of Orsi.
10:28Don't make a joke of it, Kel.
10:30Oh, come on, we've all been there, done that.
10:33Oh, I certainly haven't, and you haven't.
10:35Kath, I was in the Navy for six years.
10:38So it's probably just a stage she's going through.
10:40Come on, finish the meal and we'll order some dessert.
10:42It looks very nice.
10:45No, I think I need to be alone, Kel.
10:47I'll take a day with that, if you don't mind.
10:49You can get a lift back on the bus with those Rotarians.
10:51Kath, will you do...
10:52Kath?
10:55Kath?
10:57Kimmy, can I wear these?
11:00Yeah.
11:02Does Brittany know you're going speed dating?
11:05Yep, tell them all about it.
11:07Are you jealous?
11:08Green.
11:09It's grapeable.
11:10It's fantastic.
11:13Don't tell Mum, though.
11:14She wouldn't understand.
11:18Here, can you strap this on?
11:21Ow!
11:23Oh, that is great.
11:25That is great.
11:27Let's do it.
11:30Call me old-fashioned, but what they're doing up there is illegal, isn't it?
11:34Well, I'm sure the bill's before Parliament.
11:36If it isn't, it bloody well should be.
11:41Oh, hi Mum.
11:43Bye Mum.
11:44Oh, are you two going out?
11:46Yeah, yeah, we're just going out.
11:47Just a tour of us.
11:48To have a quiet drink.
11:49Yep, just a tour of us.
11:51Alright, well, I hope you enjoy yourselves doing whatever it is you do.
11:55Don't mind me.
11:56I'll just be here on my own being normal, having a nice normal type of night.
12:00Whatever.
12:02Where's Kel?
12:02I don't know, you see.
12:03I wouldn't know, Sharon.
12:05Kel and I have some issues at the moment.
12:07Enough said.
12:08You know what I reckon?
12:10I reckon you should come out.
12:12I don't think so, Sharon.
12:15Okay, a bit of juice, please.
12:17A bit of juice, please.
12:18That's right, I know.
12:19It's very exciting.
12:20Okay, girls.
12:21How are you all going tonight?
12:23Good luck.
12:24Good luck.
12:24A bit of juice, please.
12:26Come on, girls.
12:26I have a surprise.
12:27Come on.
12:28Now, ladies, you've got six minutes.
12:30Alright?
12:31Your time starts now.
12:36Hi, my name's Ken.
12:38My name's Sharon.
12:39I love support of every kind, especially netball and indoor cricket.
12:41I hate guys for up themselves.
12:43I'm a bit injury prone, having fractured my fibula five times.
12:46I hate girls for up themselves.
12:48I've also had a shoulder reconstruction and I've got to survive.
12:50I hate anyone getting up my goat.
12:52I've got to be a motivational speaker.
12:54I'm a bit desperately lonely.
12:55What do you hate?
12:58He doesn't get me.
12:58I hate you.
12:58I hate you.
12:58I hate you.