Skip to playerSkip to main content
Movie
  • 2 days ago
Desperate Housewives S04E14
Transcript
00:00Previously on Desperate Housewives, Orson's Secret came out.
00:04So you don't know that your husband tried to kill Mike?
00:07And Bree couldn't forgive him.
00:11Lynette's stepdaughter, Kayla, never adjusted to being part of their family.
00:16But I'm never gonna love her, and you can't make me.
00:20And Dylan reconnected with her real father.
00:23I'd like to have a relationship with you, but if your mom is still scared of me, I don't want
00:27to upset her again.
00:29I don't have to tell her.
00:37It happens in every marriage.
00:41Couples accumulate lovely things.
00:44Things that make a house a home.
00:48But when the home is broken, these things must be divided.
00:54The most dignified way to do this is for each spouse to keep what is most important to them.
01:02And Bree and Orson Hodge were nothing, if not dignified.
01:08I assume you'll want a pewter cat?
01:11That was my gift to you.
01:13You adored it, as I recall. That's why I'm giving you the choice.
01:21And what about that hummel from your aunt?
01:23It's ugly as sin, but she insists that it's valuable.
01:26You keep it. Keep everything.
01:28There's only one thing in this house that I want.
01:31I know, but I'm the one thing you can't have.
01:33Please, you have to forgive me.
01:36Orson, every wife understands that her husband will make a few mistakes.
01:40Forgotten anniversary, the occasional harsh word, but we all have to draw the line somewhere,
01:45and I'm drawing mine at the attempted murder of my best friend's husband.
01:49Bree, if I could open up my heart and show you how sorry I am, I would, but I can't.
01:54There must be something else I could do.
02:01There is one thing.
02:03Name it.
02:05Turn yourself in to the police.
02:08But the statute of limitations hasn't run out. They would arrest me.
02:12And you'd probably go to prison.
02:14Yes, I could go away for years.
02:16Exactly, and if you could muster that kind of moral courage, I think I could forgive you.
02:22Oh, come on.
02:24I promise I'll wait for you.
02:30Bree, I can't go to prison.
02:36Very well.
02:42So do you want the cat or not?
02:45In any separation, it's only fair that each spouse get to keep what is most important to them.
02:55That's how Bree Hodge got to keep her pewter cat.
03:00And Orson Hodge got to hold on to his freedom.
03:17The suburbs are flush with a certain kind of fool.
03:22You know the type.
03:24The man who opens his door to total strangers.
03:28The woman who never uses her latch.
03:32It never occurs to them that letting someone into their home means letting them into their lives.
03:42Hi, I'm Allie.
03:43I understand you've got a room to wrap.
03:45Yeah, come on in.
03:46So because of my husband's disability, our financial situation has changed.
03:51Then we have this big house.
03:52Well, it's an amazing place and I love the room.
03:55I can't believe it's still available.
03:57Well, you know, anyhow, you have a great credit score.
04:02Oh, what was that?
04:04What was what?
04:06Ellie, did she just give me a dirty look?
04:09Uh.
04:11Yeah, I thought so.
04:14I'm sorry, Ellie, there's been some tension between my husband and me.
04:18See, the truth is we could have had the room rented by now if my husband wasn't so paranoid.
04:23Why?
04:23Because I wouldn't let the Swedish bodybuilder move in?
04:26You're as blind as a fruit bat.
04:27How would you know if he's a bodybuilder?
04:29I brushed up against him.
04:30I felt his bicep.
04:32It was huge.
04:33That wasn't his bicep.
04:34Why do you think he rushed out of here?
04:38Okay, I normally dig this sort of interpersonal stuff,
04:41but I have a class in 20, so back to me.
04:45You're right, Ellie, my husband was totally inappropriate.
04:48So, a class, are you a teacher?
04:50Actually, I'm an art student.
04:52My life was working pretty well,
04:54and so I decided to junk it and learn how to paint fruit.
04:58Stupid, right?
04:59No, it's gutsy.
05:02Well, we like you, Ellie,
05:04and if you have first and last month's rent, we'd like you even more.
05:08Fantastic.
05:09I just hit the bank.
05:11So, do you mind cash?
05:12Oh, no.
05:13I love cash.
05:14Cash and I go way back.
05:18So, are you okay with this, or do you need to grow per two?
05:21So, that really wasn't the guy's arm?
05:24It had an elbow.
05:29Is this the clean pile?
05:32Because I'm not seeing it.
05:33You know what?
05:34Do it all again.
05:35This time, use a little elbow grease.
05:40How are they doing?
05:41They're not suffering enough for my taste.
05:44Are you sure that washing dishes is the right punishment?
05:47Well, gee, I'm kind of at a loss here, Tom.
05:48Dr. Spock didn't have a chapter on how to punish your kids for burning down a building.
05:52I just don't feel like we're handling this right.
05:56Maybe we should take them to therapy.
06:00Tom, they're not serial killers.
06:01They're two little boys who were afraid their parents were breaking up.
06:05But still.
06:05No.
06:06We can handle this in-house.
06:08We can make sure they never do anything like this again.
06:12Fine.
06:13We'll try it your way.
06:16But this next month is going to be like boot camp for these guys.
06:19They are going to be cleaning out the gutters, taking out the trash, mowing the lawns.
06:24Wait a second.
06:24Those are your chores.
06:25No time to talk.
06:26Dinner shift's starting.
06:31Okay, this is the place.
06:33Oh, here, let me throw that away for you.
06:35No, I'm not finished with it.
06:38It's a Lamaze class.
06:39I guarantee you I will not be the only woman in there holding a chimichanga.
06:45Wow, it's all couples.
06:47I wish Mike didn't have that rehab thing tonight.
06:49Do you want me to stay?
06:51I can skip the movie.
06:52Oh, no.
06:53No, it's okay.
06:54I'll be fine.
06:55Okay, have fun.
07:11Quit eyeing it, I ain't sharing.
07:15Okay, don't talk.
07:17Just listen.
07:18Remember last year when I brought up dad's new girlfriend and you said you never wanted to
07:20hear another word about one of the skanks again?
07:22No.
07:24Okay, well, I just spotted them in the hallway and there's something you should know.
07:32Oh, my God.
07:33Okay, you're all caught up.
07:35He got his skank pregnant and you didn't tell me.
07:37I tried, remember?
07:38I said dad and Marissa are about to and then you stopped me and then you said talk to the
07:41hand and I said no one says that anymore.
07:42Okay, I get it.
07:43One more thing.
07:44They're married.
07:45See ya.
07:46Susie Q.
07:48What a small world.
07:51Look how fat you are.
07:54Hello, Carl.
07:54Marissa, this is Susan, my ex-wife.
07:58Hello.
07:59It's so nice to finally meet you.
08:03Honey, I'm gonna go sign us in and get us a couple mats.
08:06Okay.
08:09Could you believe this?
08:11What are the chances we'd end up having more kids, huh?
08:13Especially you.
08:15What does that mean?
08:16I'm just saying most eggs your age don't take.
08:19Power to you.
08:20Okay, clearly this is not going to work.
08:22So why don't you take your child bride and find another class?
08:25I know.
08:26She's young.
08:27Makes you want to have work done, huh?
08:29Or should I say more work done?
08:32The only work I've had done was getting 185 pounds of ugly fat sucked out of my house.
08:37You're jealous.
08:38I get it.
08:39She's gorgeous, funny, a law professor.
08:43No, no, no.
08:44Those are not the legs of a law professor.
08:46Not that she needs to work.
08:47I just made partner at my firm, thanks.
08:49I keep telling her, slow down.
08:52If you need something to do, why not oversee the remodel of our new ski chalet?
08:59Well, I'd better get back to Marissa.
09:01And by the way, you're dripping.
09:17Bye, Mom.
09:18I'm leaving.
09:18Yeah, I'm by 10.
09:2010, but it's almost 8 now.
09:22Yes, and it's also a school night.
09:25Fine.
09:26Introduce me to this boy, and we'll talk about making a curfew later.
09:31Yeah, maybe some other night.
09:33Sweetie, I'm going to have to meet him eventually.
09:35It's just, I don't even know if I like him yet.
09:39When I do, you can meet him.
09:42I'll be home by 10.
09:49Hey, Dad.
09:49Hey, Princess.
09:50Let's go, I'm starving.
09:56Honey, I can't find my nail file.
09:58Have you seen it?
09:59Is that some kind of joke?
10:02All right.
10:03Keep forgetting you're useless.
10:05I'm going to see if Ellie has one.
10:11Hey, Ellie, you got a sec?
10:13Be right there.
10:16Hey, what's up?
10:17Hey, um, oh, I'm sorry.
10:20I didn't know you were entertaining.
10:24Hi, I'm Gabby Solis.
10:27Hey.
10:28Um, so what do you need?
10:30Oh, you know what?
10:31It can wait.
10:32I'll see you in the morning.
10:40Okay, that was weird.
10:42What?
10:44Earlier tonight, I saw a guy coming out of Ellie's room, so I assumed it was her boyfriend.
10:49But just now, I caught her in there with another guy.
10:52Okay.
10:53So we have two tramps living in our house.
10:56That was for the useless comment, wasn't it?
10:58Mm-hmm.
10:59And it felt good.
11:04Oh, it sounds like he's leaving.
11:07I hope it's not because of me.
11:09Maybe I should go apologize.
11:28Okay, there may be two tramps in this house, but only one of them is getting paid.
11:36Hey, Lynette.
11:37Ida's cat got out again.
11:38You haven't seen him, have you?
11:39No.
11:40Sorry.
11:41I hope you find him.
11:41Well, if he's anything like Ida, he'll wander into my house drunk the next time guiding when I design.
11:49Wait, hold on.
11:50I have to fix this.
11:54It's just so unfair.
11:57Yeah, I know.
11:57I hate her.
11:59How come she's not in trouble?
12:01Because we started the fire, you idiot, so now we have to be punished.
12:05I know, but it was her idea.
12:10Boys, who are you talking about?
12:19Kayla, can I speak to you for a second?
12:22I guess.
12:24I need to ask you something, and I want you to tell me the truth, okay?
12:31Did you have anything to do with the fire at Rick's restaurant?
12:35Did someone say I did?
12:37I'm looking for a yes or no answer here.
12:42I didn't start the fire.
12:43No, the twins did, but they say it was your idea.
12:48It was a joke.
12:50I didn't think they'd actually do it.
12:52Kayla, why would you even joke about something like that?
12:58We heard you and Daddy talking about how Rick wanted to take you away.
13:02Porter was so mad, he wanted to blow Rick up.
13:05Preston told him he could use dynamite.
13:07I told him that was stupid.
13:09No one has dynamite in their house.
13:13But everyone has matches.
13:16Do you have any idea what you've done?
13:19Someone could have been killed.
13:20But they weren't.
13:21But it doesn't matter.
13:24Intentionally, setting a fire is a very serious crime.
13:28Don't you get that?
13:30I do.
13:32That's why I think it's good you're punishing the twins.
13:35They're really bad kids.
13:38And they need to learn.
13:58I told you we'd be overdressed.
14:00There's nothing wrong with that.
14:01It shows our respect for Lamaze.
14:03And, you know, the whole birthing process.
14:08Or is that your ex-husband's here.
14:11Carl?
14:12Is he here?
14:14What a freakish...
14:15Don't even bother.
14:16Why didn't you just tell me?
14:17Because I knew you'd make us switch to another class.
14:20Last time I was here, Carl kept throwing his perfect life in my face.
14:23And I just wanted to come back here and show him that we were doing well, too.
14:26Hence the sport coat.
14:28Hence.
14:29That's classy.
14:30Say a lot of hence when we see him.
14:32Susan, I'm not going to lie about who I am.
14:34I'm not asking you to lie.
14:35I'm just saying spin.
14:36Why won't you spin?
14:37I don't know.
14:39Hey, plumber.
14:40Somebody clog the toilet?
14:44Hi, man.
14:46Hey, guys.
14:47Mike, you remember Carl.
14:49And this is Carl's wife, Marissa.
14:51Hello.
14:54So how's things going?
14:55Are you still spending most of your time with your head under a sink?
14:59Actually, I hired a couple of guys.
15:01And they do all the work.
15:02I just sit back and cash the checks.
15:04Hence the sport coat.
15:06Yeah, you guys look fantastic.
15:07I feel like such a slob.
15:09Kind of overdressed, aren't you?
15:11Well, after this, we have a big party to go to.
15:13Yeah, our social life is just crazy these days.
15:16Seems like every night we have some fancy party.
15:18It's just bananas.
15:20Why don't you ever take me out?
15:22Hey, at least I didn't ditch you on the first day of the mods class.
15:25I didn't ditch Susan.
15:27I was getting my 30-day chip.
15:30What, you like an alky?
15:34Drugs, actually.
15:34Prescription drugs.
15:36But I went through rehab, and I'm clean now.
15:40Wow.
15:41Congratulations.
15:43Okay, people.
15:43Time to get started.
15:45Take your seats.
15:48So your hubby's been in rehab.
15:50That's just bananas.
15:57Wow.
15:58I know.
15:59Turns out the whole thing was Kayla's idea.
16:02Well, I guess Porter and Preston have a new dishwashing buddy, huh?
16:07No, I think it goes a little further than that.
16:11I think we have a seriously troubled young girl.
16:15She needs professional help.
16:20Like therapy?
16:21You brought it up before, and in this case, I really don't think we have a choice.
16:25Interesting.
16:25So the boys who actually physically set the fire, they don't need therapy.
16:30But Kayla, who only talked about it, she does.
16:32You didn't see her.
16:33She just sat there playing with her doll with this kind of eerie calm.
16:38Oh, she was calm.
16:40Yeah, better nip that in the bud.
16:42No, you're missing my point.
16:44No, I get your point.
16:45There are different rules for my kid than there are for yours.
16:51Well, yeah.
16:52Think of what that poor girl has been through.
16:55And on top of that,
16:58her mom was kind of a psycho.
17:02Okay, you're saying that Kayla is a psycho now.
17:06I am just saying, apple, tree.
17:10Maybe not so far.
17:12And I'm just saying, my daughter is fine.
17:15No therapy.
17:31Orson, what are you doing here?
17:33Marie, it's so good to see you.
17:34I have been doing some thinking.
17:36Yes, I can smell the thinking on your breath.
17:39Are you insane driving in this condition?
17:41No, I didn't.
17:42I arrived sober and I drank while I waited.
17:44I am a law-abiding man.
17:46Except for the occasional hit and run.
17:48Ah, the incident.
17:49That's what I'm here to talk about.
17:53I am prepared to meet your condition and go to the police.
17:57You are?
17:58Yes, I have it all figured out.
18:00The key is the sleep-walking.
18:03Susan saw it.
18:05We'll find a psychiatrist to testify that I was sleep-walking when I drove the car.
18:09It's brilliant.
18:09No, it's a pathetic fantasy fueled by cowardice and amaretto sours.
18:13You committed a crime, Orson.
18:15Face it.
18:18I just want to come home, please.
18:23Hey, glad you two are patching things up.
18:26But take the makeup sex inside.
18:29Edie, would you do me a favor and take Orson back to his apartment?
18:31I have to let my sitter go home.
18:33Uh, all right.
18:35Hop in.
18:38Don't make me go back there.
18:40The other divorced men are trying to start a book club.
18:43Oh, for God's sakes.
18:45You can sleep it off on my couch tonight.
18:48Now hitch up your skirt and get in.
18:55There have been men coming out of her room at all hours of the night,
18:58and I saw her counting a wad of cash.
19:01So long story short, I need your help to get that hooker out of my house.
19:06What do you want us to do?
19:08Well, I've got no solid evidence, and she's got a lease.
19:11So, Bob, I was hoping you could solicit her services.
19:15That way I'll have proof.
19:17You do know I'm gay, right?
19:20Exactly.
19:21You people are theatrical,
19:22and I need someone I can count on to give a decent performance.
19:26I don't know.
19:27I'll do it.
19:31What?
19:32Well, no offense.
19:34I just think Bob has a better shot at pulling it off.
19:37He's a little more...
19:39Butch.
19:39I know.
19:41You hear that, honey?
19:42Please.
19:42The only way you'd be convincing as a straight guy is if you died and came back as a straight
19:47guy.
19:48I'm sorry, who went to their senior prom with a girl?
19:52Yeah, Susie Sellers, game maker.
19:54If you're looking for Butch, you should know that I played Tony in West Side Story to rave reviews.
20:00He also made out with Officer Krupke during intermission.
20:05Well, I really don't care who does it.
20:09Just get it done.
20:11And don't worry that.
20:19Oh, never watch a C-section film if you had a calzone for lunch.
20:26Everything okay?
20:30Did you have to tell Carl about rehab?
20:32You said I didn't have to lie.
20:34Yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to go blurting all our deepest, darkest secrets.
20:38It's not dark.
20:39It's part of who I am.
20:40Plus, one of the first things they teach you in the program is it's not healthy to keep secrets.
20:44Hence, the honesty.
20:45Oh, enough with the hints.
20:49I'm just saying that some things are private.
20:51And I think that you can be honest without being inappropriate.
20:55When I said it, his wife congratulated me.
20:58Did you notice that?
20:58And Carl made his happy monkey face.
21:01Did you notice that?
21:02You know what, Susan?
21:04This reminds me of the battle I have to fight every day for the rest of my life.
21:09That's what's important to me.
21:10I don't give a rat's ass what your ex-husband thinks.
21:26This isn't Dr. Kagan's office.
21:27Well, actually, this is a different kind of doctor.
21:30You know, the kind you can talk to.
21:32You brought me to a shrink?
21:35Well, I thought you might like to have a safe place where you could share your feelings.
21:39You know?
21:41With your mom's death, moving in with us, you've been through a lot.
21:46That was a long time ago.
21:47I'm fine.
21:48Well, good.
21:49But sometimes, when you go through hard things, it changes the way you think.
21:56Maybe we have trouble telling the difference between what's right or what's wrong.
22:01I don't have any trouble with that.
22:03Actually, you do.
22:04That's why you're here.
22:05So let's just wait and talk to the doctor.
22:18You know what, Lynette?
22:20Maybe I should talk to the doctor about right and wrong.
22:24Good.
22:25Then maybe I should talk to the police.
22:27What?
22:27No.
22:28Sweetie, we don't need to do that.
22:31Really?
22:32Because what the twins did is a crime.
22:34I mean, like you said, someone could have been killed.
22:37So if we don't go to the police, wouldn't that be wrong?
22:42You don't understand.
22:43No, I do.
22:45If I have to talk to the shrink, I have to talk to the cops.
22:51Hi.
22:52You must be Kayla.
22:54I'm all ready for you.
22:56Actually, I think we're okay.
22:59We resolved our problems just sitting in your waiting room.
23:04Boy, you're good.
23:06Okay, so we're gonna go.
23:16Target in place.
23:17We're a go.
23:19He's coming out.
23:26What is he wearing?
23:29He looks like the lost member of Wham.
23:32He thinks the outfit makes him look straight.
23:34Just be thankful I got the toothpick out of his mouth.
23:40I'm sorry.
23:40Must he put his hand on his hip like that?
23:43Pitch up, for God's sakes.
23:46What?
23:47What do you think I am?
23:48Uh-oh.
23:49Oh, crap.
23:52Abort.
23:52Abort!
23:54I'm sorry.
23:55I'm sorry.
23:55You are a pig, and I'm gonna kick your ass.
23:57Ow!
23:57Abbey, what are you doing?
23:59Your creepy neighbor.
24:00He came over here and offered me money to sleep with him.
24:03Gabby, tell her.
24:05Tell me what?
24:08He did the same thing to me.
24:10Purr!
24:11Oh!
24:11Hey, that's enough, Gabby.
24:13Tell her, or I will.
24:16What's going on?
24:19Here's the thing.
24:21I thought you were a hooker.
24:23So I had Lee proposition you so I could catch you in the act.
24:27But guess what?
24:28You passed the test.
24:29Yay!
24:30Everybody inside for margaritas.
24:38Ellie, wait.
24:40I made a mistake.
24:41Can we please talk about this?
24:43Dude, you just told your neighbors that I'm a whore.
24:46Look at it from my point of view.
24:48You're an attractive woman.
24:49Guys are coming and going.
24:51I saw you take money from one of them.
24:53What am I supposed to think?
24:59All right.
25:00You might as well know.
25:03I do tattoos.
25:06You do what?
25:07See, I've been working downtown,
25:10and I have this jerk of a boss who takes 70% of my money.
25:15So I'm trying to earn enough cash to finally open my own shop.
25:20You've been running a tattoo parlor out of my house?
25:23I know.
25:23I'm sorry I lied.
25:27I'll be gone in the morning.
25:28Okay, Ellie, wait.
25:30You don't have to go.
25:31Are you sure?
25:32Because I have to keep doing my work to pay for school.
25:35Well, I suppose I could look the other way for a few months.
25:39It's the least I could do for thinking you're a whore.
25:44Forgive me.
25:45Of course.
26:11Oh, hi.
26:12Hi, Edie.
26:13Thanks again for helping me out last night.
26:14Oh, no problem.
26:16Or since car is still parked at my house.
26:18Um, did he mention when he'd be coming back to pick it up?
26:21Well, why didn't you ask him yourself?
26:22He's in the shower.
26:26He spent the night here?
26:28Apparently, he's not a big fan of Fairview Towers,
26:30and he was so drunk and whiny.
26:31I just let him ride my couch.
26:33Well, um, just so you know, in the future,
26:37I'm not comfortable with that.
26:39This can't happen again.
26:43Bree, what are you getting at?
26:46I think you know.
26:48Tell me anyway.
26:49Just in case you're not saying I'm a big slut.
26:51Oh, come on, Edie.
26:53You know Carlos, Mike, Carl?
26:55You do have a way of picking at other women's leftovers.
26:58First of all, I am not attracted to Orson.
27:01And that would be like having sex with PBS.
27:04And second, just because I don't like your attitude,
27:07I'm gonna let him stay as long as he wants.
27:09Edie.
27:10Days.
27:10Weeks.
27:11Might even let him hang my Christmas lights.
27:13Come on, Edie.
27:13Think of our friendship.
27:26How'd you expect me to react, Lynette?
27:28You took her to therapy behind my back.
27:30And I wouldn't have done that
27:31unless I thought we had a serious problem, which we do.
27:34Why?
27:34Because she threatened you?
27:35Of course she did.
27:36You ambushed her.
27:37Mom, it is one thing not to want to admit
27:39something's wrong with your kid.
27:40It's another to just bury your head in the sand.
27:42Who's burying their head in the sand?
27:43No, no, no, no, you're distorting reality.
27:47I'm not.
27:48What would be my agenda?
27:49You can't pull the crap like this.
28:05Whoa.
28:07What are you doing?
28:08I jumped off the roof.
28:09It was awesome.
28:10No way.
28:11Yeah, it was just like a parachute.
28:13You want to try it?
28:15Well, maybe it won't work.
28:18It will.
28:19I just did it.
28:20If you want, I can show you.
28:23Oh, wait.
28:25You're in trouble.
28:27You can't.
28:30Never mind.
28:39You're in your head in the sand.
28:40You're in your head in the sand.
28:41You're in your head in the sand.
28:41No, it is different.
28:41There's so many opportunities that you can look and see what's going on.
28:45I am not.
28:45You can't pull crap like this, Lynette.
28:47Either you treat Kayla like she's your own kid.
28:48Oh, come on.
28:49I do.
28:51Mom.
28:53Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
28:55Oh, my God.
28:56Oh, my God.
28:56Oh, my God.
28:57What happened?
28:58Is he okay?
29:00Porter, get down off that roof.
29:03Ow, it hurts.
29:05Oh, we gotta take him to the hospital.
29:06Okay, you stay here.
29:07You take care of the kids.
29:08I will take them to the hospital.
29:09All right.
29:10No, you both go.
29:11I got the kids.
29:12Go, go, go, go.
29:12Thanks, Karen.
29:13Come here, buddy.
29:15It's okay, sweetie.
29:15You're gonna be just fine.
29:35Hey, Susie, where's the plumber fishing a wedding ring out of some housewife's grease trap?
29:42He's not feeling well.
29:44I see Marissa isn't here either.
29:47Yeah, she got stuck at her book signing.
29:50She writes books like you.
29:52Only hers are for grownups, and they sell.
29:55Okay, Carl, you win.
29:57You happy?
29:58Whoa.
30:00What's this about?
30:01Just drop the act.
30:02You are so loving this.
30:04You ended up with the Miss America with a law degree, and I ended up with the pillhead plumber.
30:11Bravo.
30:13Damn it.
30:14Why won't this unroll?
30:16You know, Marissa's not perfect.
30:19We have our problems like anyone else.
30:22Oh, really?
30:24You guys live one day at a time?
30:27Is your first thought when she's late that maybe she's out using again, or maybe she's dead?
30:35It just seems like everything is so fragile right now, which is not the way you want it to be
30:42when you're about to have a pee.
30:51So you're worried you might be having a kid with an unreliable guy.
30:55I get it.
30:56You did that once before.
30:58Uh, yeah.
30:59That guy was the worst.
31:01Wasn't I, though?
31:02I cheated.
31:04Drank too much.
31:05I made that play for your cousin.
31:08Oh, right.
31:09You didn't know about that.
31:10That never happened.
31:11Anyway, I lied about every bit of it.
31:15At least Mike's trying to be honest.
31:18I know.
31:20Just wish I could fast forward through my life and see that everything ends up okay.
31:26Hey, don't tell the plumber this, but, uh, he's a good guy.
31:30I think he's gonna be there for you in a way that I never was.
31:39Which cousin?
31:42Oh, look, a model of the uterus.
31:46He's a big gray cat.
31:48See if you can just keep an eye out.
31:49Of course.
31:50Actually, Karen, when I'm done here, I could go try to find Toby for you.
31:53Thanks, Bree.
31:54I appreciate that.
31:55Oh, if you do find him, don't look him in the eye.
31:57It angries him up.
32:02It's very nice of you to help her.
32:05And it'll take your mind off of everything with Orson, too.
32:08I hope so.
32:09Truth is, I miss him.
32:10And I'll probably let him come home eventually.
32:12I just need to know he understands the gravity of what he did.
32:17Well, I don't know what he did, but be careful.
32:20Some men say they're going to change, and they can't.
32:26Oh, hello, Dylan.
32:27You look lovely.
32:28She has a date with a boy I haven't met yet.
32:32It's just a movie.
32:33It's no big deal.
32:34Be that as it may, it's the, what, third time you've gone out?
32:38I don't even know his name.
32:40Mom, I told you I'm not ready for you to meet him.
32:42When I am, you'll know.
32:44Good night, Mrs. Hodge.
32:45Okay, back to business.
32:50How do you feel about Parker House roles?
32:53I mean, personally, I think they're played out.
32:55Actually, Bree, can we pick this up again tomorrow?
33:00Of course.
33:00Is everything all right?
33:02Oh, yes.
33:03I just need to go spy on my daughter.
33:06Oh, the key is to keep one car between yours and hers at all times.
33:10Have fun.
33:15We should probably get the check.
33:18I have to be back by 10.
33:20We should a lot of time for coffee.
33:22I don't want to push it.
33:24Mom was all over me tonight.
33:26I'm sorry about that.
33:29Whatever, it's fine.
33:30No, it's not.
33:33I can see how hard this whole thing is on you.
33:36Makes me wish we could just tell her the truth.
33:42I don't know.
33:45Well, it's your choice.
33:47And you're probably right.
33:49We got a good thing going here.
33:51I don't want to ruin it.
33:54But I'll tell you something.
33:56If it was only up to me, I'd come clean.
34:02You would?
34:03Absolutely.
34:05That way, I could tell your mom how sorry I am.
34:09And I wouldn't expect her to forgive me.
34:12But I could hope she could at least see I've changed.
34:22But whatever you want to do is okay by me.
34:55Okay, thank you.
34:58Well, I've got a room at a hotel in Mount Pleasant.
35:01I guess I'll get going.
35:03Oh, it's late.
35:05Why not just go tomorrow?
35:07Well, I feel like I'm imposing.
35:09You are.
35:11Why don't you make a decent martini?
35:13So what the hell?
35:16So, you're like the Hodge formula, huh?
35:20You see the secret.
35:21I don't hear shaking.
35:26By the way, did you see Bree when you were coming home?
35:31Oh, no, I didn't.
35:34I keep thinking she's going to call me.
35:36Look, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to,
35:39but what the heck happened over at Ken and Barbara's dream house?
35:43I made a mistake and Bree won't forgive me.
35:46See, that's the problem with the Bree's of this world.
35:49They're too damn perfect.
35:51I mean, they don't understand that people like you and me,
35:54and I thought we screw up.
35:57Yeah, well, this was no ordinary mistake.
35:59This was something terrible.
36:02Was it something gay?
36:04What?
36:05Of course it wasn't.
36:07Keep talking.
36:08Trust me.
36:10Bree will never forgive me.
36:12You know what?
36:13Maybe she shouldn't.
36:14Maybe I'm not worthy of forgiveness.
36:19Well, are you sorry for what you did?
36:24Yes.
36:26More than anyone will ever know.
36:28Well, then you're worthy.
36:36Thank you, Edie.
36:40Don't start.
36:41I'm drunk.
36:42I'm going to start crying, too.
36:43Come on.
36:45You're a good person, Edie Britt.
36:49Well, you're not so bad yourself.
37:03You're right.
37:05Bad idea.
37:08I blame the heart formula.
37:11Yes.
37:15Well, you're probably tired.
37:17Let me get your room ready for you.
37:34Mom?
37:36Can I talk to you?
37:38Of course.
37:45I guess I just have to say it.
37:49I've been lying to you.
37:52There is no boy.
37:55And?
37:57And.
37:59Oh, I've been meeting someone.
38:01That part is true.
38:04But it's dad.
38:07I've been meeting dad.
38:11Really?
38:14Let's see.
38:15You're not upset?
38:17You made it very clear that you wanted to meet your father.
38:21So I knew this day was coming.
38:24And I prepared myself.
38:28Well, can I go get him then?
38:37Come in.
38:39She says it's okay.
38:49Hey, Kathy.
38:54Been a long time.
38:56Dylan, why don't you go up to your room so we can catch up?
39:03It's all right, really.
39:06Go ahead.
39:14You did a great job with her.
39:15She says she's a wonderful girl.
39:22You look fantastic.
39:24Haven't aged a day.
39:32Look, I'm here for Dylan, okay?
39:35I'm sure that's what you told her.
39:38And I'm sure she believed it.
39:40Because she doesn't know you.
39:43But I do.
39:45No, you don't, Kathy.
39:47Not anymore.
39:48It's been a long time, 12 years.
39:50I know exactly how long it's been.
39:52Okay.
39:54Good.
39:55Because I'm...
39:57I've changed.
39:59I'm a different man now.
40:02Well, you have to admit that that's possible, right?
40:06You've changed, huh?
40:08Well, maybe you have.
40:11I have.
40:12Like to know how?
40:14Sure.
40:15You want to tell me?
40:19I'm not scared of you anymore.
40:23Good.
40:24You don't have to be.
40:29I'm not the same woman you knocked around.
40:32The woman you punched.
40:35Choked.
40:37The one whose blood you licked off your knuckles.
40:42She's gone.
40:45So you'll just have to prove you're a man.
40:49Some other way.
40:52You trying to make me mad, Kathy?
41:00I didn't know I still could.
41:06Can I?
41:10This is a lot to deal with after so long, I guess.
41:14I shouldn't have sprung it on you all at once.
41:17Tell Dylan I'll call it tomorrow.
41:28And you're as beautiful as you ever were, Kathy.
41:36Good night.
41:51The word welcome always carries with it a certain amount of risk.
41:58After all, to let someone into your home is to let them into your life.
42:05And we never know what sorts of horrible secrets they carry with them.
42:13We can't foresee the painful effect they might have on our loved ones.
42:23We don't anticipate the gossip that could result from their presence.
42:31Yes, we must be very careful with those we invite into our lives.
42:38Because some will refuse to leave.
42:52Because I tell them all.
42:54That'll be nice.
Comments