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Desperate Housewives S05E07
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00:00Previously on Desperate Housewives...
00:02Can we start over?
00:03It was a surprising day for the women of Wisteria Lane.
00:07Well, I was wondering if you might want to have dinner with me.
00:10Okay.
00:12He's giving her orgasms?
00:14Yeah, not deliberately.
00:15I can see you're going to be great friends.
00:18You are a vibrant, attractive woman.
00:20You haven't had sex in two years.
00:23That spells grandma to me.
00:24Let me come stay with you when I get out of here.
00:27This guy thinks I'm out of commission and I'm going to keep it that way.
00:30What's wrong with you? You've been antsy all night.
00:31I think I left the freezer door at Scavo's open.
00:34But it was an even more surprising night...
00:36Crap! It's my dad!
00:38...for the Scavo's.
00:39Where is she?
00:40Don't.
00:41She isn't wearing anything, all right?
00:42Who is she?
00:43Just a girl from English class.
00:45I'm going to go in the bathroom. You've got 60 seconds to get her out of here.
01:04There was a slight misunderstanding in the Scavo house that night.
01:10You see, someone in the family was having an affair with a married woman.
01:16And Lynette Scavo suspected her husband.
01:21Hey.
01:23False alarm.
01:24The freezer was shut tight.
01:26Unfortunately for Lynette, she was wrong.
01:29Liar.
01:31What?
01:31I always knew things could change between us, Tom.
01:34But no matter what, the one thing I always thought I'd get is your respect.
01:38Lynette?
01:38What's going on?
01:39I followed you to the warehouse. I know everything.
01:45Oh, boy.
01:49Yeah, at this point, I think I'm going to need a little bit more than that.
01:53You're right. I shouldn't have kept this from you.
01:56And, you know, for what it's worth, I wanted to bring you in on it.
02:00Huh?
02:01But I was afraid you'd overreact.
02:08That's what you were afraid of?
02:11Hey, I'm upset, too. But let's face it. Boys will be boys.
02:15I think I have to sit down now.
02:18Lynette, are you really surprised?
02:23It's not the first time this has happened.
02:25And it definitely won't be the last.
02:28You know what? I have to kill you now.
02:30Well, he's your son, too.
02:32Who?
02:33Porter!
02:34What are you talking about?
02:35I found out Porter's been hooking up with some girl at our warehouse.
02:38What are you talking about?
02:41And just like that, the slight misunderstanding in the Scavo house had ended.
02:50Hey, what's up?
02:54You're having sex with your best friend's mother?
02:57And a huge family crisis had begun.
03:20Desire, it's an emotion designed to lead us astray.
03:25Causing us to buy things we can't afford.
03:30Encouraging us to sample desserts we don't need.
03:37And pushing us into love affairs we're clearly not ready for.
03:44I want you to call that woman and tell her you are never seeing her again.
03:48Her name is Anne.
03:49Her name is Mrs. Schilling.
03:52She was your t-ball coach when you were six.
03:54By the way, does your best friend know you're sleeping with his mother?
03:59We're keeping our relationship from Kirby for now.
04:01This isn't our relationship.
04:03You are being used by this woman.
04:05No, I'm not.
04:06I love her.
04:07Oh, okay.
04:08That's it.
04:09I'm calling her.
04:10No.
04:10Hey!
04:11What if her husband answers?
04:12Gee, Porter, that's just one of the pitfalls of dating a married woman.
04:17Listen to me.
04:19Mr. Schilling can't find out.
04:21He's totally violent.
04:22He would kill her.
04:23Well, then you have put her in a very dangerous position, haven't you?
04:30Okay, I'll call her.
04:31I'll tell her it's over.
04:32I'm not going to say that you know.
04:34That'll just freak her out.
04:35But you have to promise me that you won't say anything to her psycho husband.
04:39I am not promising anything.
04:40So help me.
04:41If I find out that you do something and she gets hurt, I will leave this house and I will
04:45never come back.
04:46Oh, please.
04:46You would never do that.
04:48Yeah?
04:50I've done a lot of things you never thought I would do.
04:57Wait.
05:02We won't say anything.
05:07But if you don't end this, you won't have to leave.
05:11We will throw you out.
05:18So you wanted to see me?
05:20Sit.
05:22Tell us, Charlie.
05:23Charlie, have you enjoyed working here at Mrs. Vandercamp's?
05:28Yeah.
05:28It's great.
05:29You don't feel you've been underpaid?
05:31No.
05:32Well, then perhaps you can explain why you stole $200 from the petty cash box yesterday.
05:36What?
05:38I didn't steal anything.
05:39Charlie, we wouldn't accuse you unless we had concrete evidence.
05:42And thanks to my diligent partner here, we do.
05:51So am I, like, fired?
05:54You're more than like fired.
05:57You're fired.
05:58And of course we want our money back.
06:00I don't have it.
06:02I spent it.
06:03Well, then I suggest you return your purchase.
06:05Do you have a receipt?
06:07Yeah.
06:08Yeah, like pot dealers give receipts.
06:10Well, you've just covered yourself in glory on this one.
06:14Just, please, don't tell my parents.
06:17I'll get you the money.
06:18I promise.
06:23Could you believe it?
06:24A thief and a pothead.
06:26At least we know now where the two pounds of cookie dough went.
06:34Too many eggs?
06:35I'm not.
06:36Oh, I gotta have one more.
06:40Thank you for doing this.
06:42Ah, well.
06:43We needed to wipe the slate clean, right?
06:45Mm-hmm.
06:46And honestly, this is the best second first date I've ever had.
06:51Isn't it?
06:51Mm-hmm.
06:53And knowing we're not going to have sex takes all the pressure off.
06:57Mm-hmm.
06:59That's something we know?
07:01Yes.
07:02We're starting completely over.
07:04So this time, we're going to do things right.
07:07W-w-which means what?
07:10Well, it means no sex until at least 8-4.
07:15Ah.
07:16I want us to spend this time really getting to know each other.
07:20I-I do know you.
07:22What's my least favorite word?
07:24Phlegm.
07:26You're just guessing.
07:28It's panties.
07:29Mm-hmm.
07:30Although some days it's larva or chunks.
07:33Well, I will try to remember that.
07:35Mm.
07:36Now you tell me something I don't know about you.
07:40Okay.
07:43I'm a painter.
07:46I sort of guessed that when you painted my house.
07:49I mean, I paint art.
07:54Like, on a canvas, in a frame.
07:58Seriously?
07:59I went to art school in Paris.
08:01And my professor had a beret, so you know he was good.
08:07Wow.
08:10So now you're painting my bathroom?
08:14Yeah.
08:15That sucks.
08:17But I've been blocked for the past year.
08:20Blocked?
08:21Yeah.
08:22I mean, I keep trying to start new pieces, but nothing comes.
08:26It's driving me crazy.
08:30Mom, I'm sorry things aren't going well.
08:33But I'm glad you told me.
08:36See, we're getting to know each other.
08:39And we wouldn't have if we'd spent the whole night in bed.
08:41Yeah.
08:42And now I'm creatively and sexually frustrated.
08:49First dates are awesome.
08:55Geez, Roberta, I know you hate to throw anything away,
08:58but do you have the garbage man bringing you stuff now?
09:00Pardon my French, but what's French for kiss my ass?
09:04So you said Dave has a secret.
09:06Now, how are you getting that from this?
09:08It's just a bunch of phone numbers.
09:09Yeah, maybe just a bunch of numbers to you,
09:11but to a savvy sleuth with a keen eye and the nose of a bloodhound.
09:15Yeah, yeah, you're Miss Marple with a bum liver.
09:18So, what's he hiding?
09:20Let me walk you through it.
09:22Around the first of every month,
09:23Dave gets a string of calls, five or six,
09:26from this number in Boston.
09:27They're all short, 10, 15 seconds.
09:29My guess is he's not picking up.
09:30Somebody's leaving him messages, you know, bugging him.
09:33Once a month, huh?
09:34Yeah.
09:35My guess it's a next wife looking for her alimony.
09:38Except it's not.
09:38You see this?
09:40After a few days, he always calls back.
09:42And who, you ask, is he calling?
09:46A hospital in Boston?
09:47It's the office of Dr. Samuel Heller, psychiatrist.
09:57So, once a month, Dave whines about his life
10:01to a Beantown head shrink, huh?
10:06Big whoop.
10:07Oh.
10:08I looked up your Davies doc on the web.
10:10He's not your garden variety shrink.
10:12He's a renowned psychiatrist
10:13and published author with a very specialized field of expertise.
10:20And that, my dear Watson,
10:23is your neighbor's little secret.
10:47Oh, lap of luxury, how I've missed sitting in you.
10:51Oh, gotcha.
10:54Celia!
10:55Juanita!
10:56Chef is taking fresh-baked cookies out of the oven.
10:59Ha, ha, ha.
11:01Ha.
11:02Oh, I can't tell you how nice it is
11:05to hear the sound of children's laughter in this house.
11:08You know what I was thinking?
11:10Why don't you all stay the weekend?
11:12Oh, we'd love to.
11:13Yes, you can't.
11:14Why not?
11:16Celia's birthday party is Sunday.
11:17We've got to get ready for it, remember?
11:19What's to get ready?
11:20You buy a $9 sheet cake
11:21and fling a pinata over a tree
11:23and bam, party time.
11:25But I don't have a change of clothes.
11:28My nephew left a whole closet full of old clothes.
11:31I'm sure something will fit you.
11:33Well.
11:33Carlos, just nod your head
11:35because I ain't leaving this pool.
11:37Oh, good, it's settled.
11:40Oh, Gabby, your margarita's getting low.
11:42I'll send Brandon out with a fresh one.
11:48What are you doing?
11:50What? You heard the woman.
11:51She wants children's laughter.
11:52And I want the lobster the chef is serving for dinner.
11:55It's a win-win.
11:55I just don't feel comfortable with this.
11:57Why not?
11:58I mean, look at this place.
11:59It's like Shangri-La.
12:01Wow, you're right.
12:02The pitch black I see here
12:04is much more dazzling than the one at home.
12:06What is your problem?
12:08My problem is that it's a bad idea
12:10to mix business and pleasure.
12:11Says the man who massaged her into an orgasm.
12:14Even more reason to keep some professional distance.
12:17Carlos, she is just a lonely old woman
12:19yearning for some friendship and human contact.
12:21And I, for one, am happy to be that human.
12:27Mrs. Solis, your margarita?
12:31Oh, shoot.
12:32I can't reach it.
12:53Hey, guys.
12:54Sorry I'm late.
12:55Hey.
12:55You bring beer?
12:56Was I supposed to?
12:57No.
12:58Tom was supposed to.
12:58Gosh, sorry.
13:00I thought the two cases I bought Monday
13:02would have lasted more than one rehearsal.
13:04Boys, we're better off not drinking today.
13:06We've got a lot of work to do
13:07and only one week to do it.
13:09What are you talking about?
13:10We are playing Battle of the Bands
13:12at the White Horse.
13:14Ha, ha, ha, ha.
13:17Uh, Dave, Battle of the Bands isn't for amateurs.
13:21You gotta audition.
13:22Uh, we don't.
13:24Edie's got a real estate buddy
13:25whose husband owns the club.
13:27You're kidding.
13:28We're playing an actual gig.
13:30In front of people who aren't listening
13:32just because I pay their allowance?
13:34Well, this is fantastic.
13:35Yes, but that means the pressure's on.
13:38We've got to really rehearse our cover stuff
13:39and we need an original song.
13:43I don't know anything about songwriting.
13:44I know a little bit.
13:46No, you don't.
13:49It's fine.
13:50Mike and I will write something.
13:51You got a little time later?
13:52Not tonight.
13:52I got plans.
13:55Plans?
13:57What's her name?
14:01Can we just rehearse, please?
14:03You know, I heard that Susan and Jackson broke up.
14:05I heard they got back together.
14:07It's not Susan.
14:08Stop guessing.
14:09Also, get lives.
14:11Whatever, Mike.
14:13Just so long as you're having fun.
14:19Hey, who said you'd turn the board around?
14:23Get back here.
14:24No, just come out here and show me some moves.
14:27Sorry to bother you.
14:28Just wanted to see if you needed anything before I go off to bed.
14:32No, we're good.
14:33Sure you don't want to order margarita number 12?
14:35You sure you don't want to shut your pie hole?
14:37It's so cute how you two bickered.
14:40Carlos, how do those pajamas fit you?
14:42They're perfect.
14:43I hope your nephew doesn't mind that I was wearing them.
14:45He'll never know.
14:46We're estranged.
14:50Oh, okay.
14:54Anyway, we're good.
14:55So have a nice night.
14:58Oh, what's that?
15:00Some animated thing.
15:02I love animated movies.
15:04The girls wanted to watch it, so we're kind of having a family movie night.
15:08Oh, that sounds like fun.
15:12My heavens, is that penguin surfing?
15:16Gee, I don't know.
15:17Can't really see the screen anymore.
15:20Oh, dear.
15:21I'm being rude.
15:22It's okay.
15:29Man, that's better.
15:35Did she just crawl?
15:37Oh, yeah.
15:43And so there I was in ninth grade, and my boobs had not made an appearance.
15:48I was desperate.
15:50Yeah, let me refill that for you.
15:52And so that's when I got caught stuffing at the pep rally.
15:57And six months later, kaboom, I was voted prom queen.
16:01Nice work, girls.
16:08Stop that right now.
16:10What?
16:10The sex music.
16:12Turn it off.
16:13That's not sex music.
16:21We are not having sex until date number four, and this is date number two.
16:25I know what it is.
16:28It's just that you look so hot in these pants, and your hair smells so good.
16:33And your eyes.
16:36Ah, look, I made you dinner.
16:38Come on.
16:40Jackson.
16:40I braised beef for you.
16:42Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to braise me?
16:45Okay, do you know how sad it makes me to know that you only braised it to boink me?
16:50You're supposed to be asking me questions.
16:52The point of all this was to get to know each other better.
16:55How is it going to make our relationship stronger for me to know that in the fifth grade they sent
16:59you to the therapist because you wouldn't stop chewing your hair?
17:03You know, that was hard for me to share.
17:06And the fact that you just make light of it, you know, I am calling the second date officially over.
17:12And you know what?
17:14I was going to let you fill me up over my blouse, but now, nada.
17:42There you are.
17:45What?
17:48So, before we wrap up here, we still need some chaperones for the junior prom.
17:54Aunt Schilling is coordinating the volunteers, and she could really use some help.
18:00Nobody?
18:07I know we're all busy, but this is important.
18:11We want our kids to have fun, but let's face it.
18:14If we don't keep an eye on them, God only knows what kind of trouble they'll get into.
18:23Helen? Marjorie? You'll help?
18:27Fantastic. Thanks, guys.
18:38Hey, Lynette.
18:42Do these meetings keep getting longer, or do they just seem that way?
18:48I don't know.
18:53So, how's the family?
18:56I haven't seen Penny in so long, and all the kids are getting so big now.
19:00I guess the boys will be going off to college soon.
19:03Ah!
19:05Lynette!
19:05I know everything, okay?
19:12Look, I'm sorry, but it's important for you to understand.
19:19I love Porter.
19:21Ow!
19:22Ah!
19:24Ah!
19:26So do I.
19:27And if you ever lay a hand on him again, you will find out just how much.
19:35Ow!
19:52Oh, Bree, I've got good news.
19:55Me, too.
19:56You go first.
19:58I hired a girl to replace that thief, Charlie.
20:01Oh.
20:02Well, are you sure she's trustworthy?
20:04Well, she comes with a strong recommendation from the head of the local FBI office, her father.
20:09Who's Mormon?
20:10Well done, Orson.
20:13Your turn.
20:14Oh.
20:14Oh, the new Christian reader just published an advance review of my cookbook.
20:19Listen.
20:20Mrs. Vandekamp's colorful stories of her upbringing show her upstanding values, but her recipes
20:26are sinfully delicious.
20:28They gave me four halos.
20:31Then I think this is appropriate.
20:34Holy cow.
20:37I have to admit I had some reservations about us working together, but this has succeeded
20:42beyond my wildest dreams.
20:44Mm.
20:45We're quite a team, aren't we?
20:47Yeah, the best part is we get to see each other all the time.
20:50Mm-hmm.
20:50I know, which makes the hardest part, keeping my hands off you all the time.
20:57Oh!
20:58Orson, you can't be serious here.
21:00Hmm?
21:02This kitchen is the birthplace of our triumphs.
21:05What better place to celebrate them?
21:07Hmm?
21:11Oh, honest counters.
21:13Hard on my head.
21:14You want me to stop?
21:15No, get me an oven mitt.
21:17Right.
21:20Oh, much better.
21:23Rise and shine, girls.
21:25Rise and shine.
21:28Oh, my God.
21:29What are you doing?
21:30Gabby, it's fine.
21:31We're just doing a little art project.
21:34I told the girls they could decorate the room any way they wanted.
21:39I'm making a castle.
21:41It's stupid.
21:42No, you're stupid.
21:45You're both stupid.
21:46Stop it.
21:47I mean, Mrs. Hildebrand, this is really nice of you, but why would you want to ruin your
21:51beautiful room?
21:52Oh, it's not my room anymore.
21:53It's their room.
21:56What?
21:56Yes, it's the room they'll be staying in whenever you come to visit.
22:00They're getting a new TV.
22:02Bunk beds.
22:03I'll have it ready by the time you get here next weekend.
22:08Oh, next weekend.
22:10Carlos and I have plans.
22:13Well, I bet the girls don't.
22:15I'll send the car for them.
22:18I don't think that's such a good idea.
22:21How about it, girls?
22:22Want to spend next weekend here?
22:24Yay!
22:25Yay!
22:25Thank you, Mrs. Hildebrand.
22:27Oh, what did I tell you?
22:29Sorry.
22:30Thank you, Grandma.
22:33Come.
22:41Grandma.
22:41She told them to call her Grandma?
22:43Yeah.
22:44That's why we're leaving.
22:45After you told her we'd stay all weekend, how are we going to do that?
22:47I don't know.
22:48Make an excuse.
22:49Say you have some blind thing you have to go to.
22:53We have to be very careful here.
22:55This woman has a lot of pull at the country club.
22:57Plus, we've got that Europe trip coming up.
23:00Whoa, whoa, whoa.
23:00We're not going to Europe with Grandma Nutschop.
23:02I'm not walking away from $100,000.
23:05We need that money.
23:06Carlos, it's not worth it.
23:07She's really starting to freak me out.
23:09Damn it, Gabby.
23:10I told you it was dangerous getting chummy with the client,
23:13but you wouldn't listen.
23:14You had to stay for the lobster.
23:15Hey, I seem to remember some melted butter on your bib, too.
23:18Now, how are we getting out of here?
23:20She knows we've got Celia's party tomorrow.
23:23I'll tell her we have to go shopping for that.
23:25Everything will be fine.
23:33Sorry.
23:34I had to wait for my folks to go to the store before I could sneak out.
23:38What's wrong?
23:43Are you okay?
23:45I don't know what to do.
23:48About what?
23:49Let me help you.
23:51It's just all such a mess.
23:53Wait.
23:55Is this about my mom?
23:56Did she do something else to you?
23:58Did she call your husband?
24:01No.
24:02Well, then what?
24:03Tell me.
24:09I'm pregnant.
24:15I'm pregnant.
24:28Hey, do you mind if I cut out early today?
24:31I don't see why not.
24:32I mean, everything's pretty much done here.
24:34You can go now if you'd like.
24:36Thanks.
24:38Thanks.
24:41It's true.
24:42Do you look handsome?
24:43Do I?
24:44Great.
24:48Something wrong?
24:49Well, you remember Charlie, the kid you guys fired for stealing?
24:53Well, he called and asked how you could prove it, and I said, we've got a surveillance tape,
24:58scuzzball.
25:00Well, uh, guess who stole the surveillance tape last night?
25:04That does it.
25:05We're pressing charges.
25:07You might want to hold off on that, because according to Charlie, the surveillance tape is
25:12also a sex tape.
25:17What?
25:18Yeah, he said it shows a couple really going at it, so any idea who those crazy kids might
25:25be?
25:27Oh, dear God.
25:28Yep.
25:29I kind of thought so.
25:31How could this be happening?
25:34Before anything got serious, I made a point of turning the camera off.
25:38Wait, I turned it off, too.
25:40I didn't see you do that.
25:42No, you were looking for the olive oil.
25:44Obviously, you turned it back on.
25:50We need to, um, get that tape back.
25:53Yeah, well, break out your checkbook, because he wants two grand for it.
25:56$2,000?
25:57Yeah, or he's going to post it on YouTube.
26:00What are we going to do?
26:01Well, first you need to decide what your porn names are going to be.
26:04Okay, this is not a joke.
26:06My book comes out next month.
26:08My old-fashioned traditional cookbook.
26:11This could ruin me.
26:13All right, Brie.
26:14We'll just pay him.
26:14No, I refuse to pay blackmail to some hooligan who's stolen from us twice.
26:24Andrew.
26:26All my life, I have done my best to teach you to respect God and the law and never to
26:32harm another living thing.
26:36I want you to forget every one of those lessons if it'll help you get that tape back.
26:41Wow.
26:43So, carte blanche.
26:46Uh, within reason.
26:47We are not condoning arson or violence or...
26:51Arson?
26:52Don't cram with the boy's style.
27:14Hey, sweetie, now don't forget to make a wish.
27:18Yeah!
27:19Happy birthday!
27:23Happy birthday!
27:33Virginia!
27:34What, uh, are you doing here?
27:35I came to give Celia her birthday gift.
27:38Well, she's a little busy with her friends right now, so just give it to me and I'll make sure
27:43she gets it.
27:44I'm afraid that won't be possible.
27:46You see, for my present, I'm going to take her to a shop that sells the most exquisite antique dolls
27:51and let her pick whichever one she likes.
27:54Well, she's not going to leave her party to go buy a doll.
27:57Of course not.
27:58I'll wait on the porch till it's over.
28:00Look, I'm sorry, but I don't want you driving off with my daughter.
28:04Well, you know she'll be safe with me.
28:07But if you'd feel better joining us...
28:09You sure are making this hard.
28:12I have tried to be nice, but I am running out of polite here, so I'm just going to say,
28:16knock it off.
28:18I'm sorry.
28:19Knock off what?
28:21This whole creepy, clingy, I'm your grandma routine.
28:24But I've come to feel like a grandmother to the girls.
28:26In three days.
28:28That's the creepy part.
28:29What a hurtful thing to say.
28:32Especially given how generous I've been to your family.
28:34Yeah, too generous.
28:35It's like you're trying to buy us or something.
28:37Well, we're not for sale, so just back off.
28:41Who do you think you're talking to?
28:43You wicked, ungrateful girl.
28:47You're not the first greedy bitch who's tried to bleed me dry and then wash her hands with me.
28:51Okay, we're done here.
28:52Goodbye.
28:57Am I not making myself clear?
28:58Get off my property!
29:00Gabby!
29:01What's going on?
29:04I came to buy Celia a doll.
29:07I believe you've heard Gabby's response.
29:11Virginia, please.
29:13Allow me to apologize?
29:14I think it's a little late for that.
29:26Thank you for a wonderful third date.
29:31And I'm glad that you're back on board with our plan.
29:34Yeah, I don't really think I'm starting to get something out of it.
29:38Oh, pop quiz!
29:40Why did Tim Beale stop talking to me in eighth grade?
29:43You told Erin Connors about her nose job.
29:45Right?
29:47What time is it?
29:48Uh, 10.48?
29:50No.
29:51It's sex time.
29:53Huh.
29:53Hmm.
29:54Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
29:56What?
29:57Stop.
29:58We're not having sex till the fourth date, remember?
30:00Jackson, look at me.
30:02I'm tipsy.
30:03I'm horny.
30:04I'm easier than a five-year-old's homework.
30:07Hmm.
30:11I'll call you tomorrow.
30:21The forehead?
30:27I hate to say anything, Stan, but you are president of the country club.
30:32You need to know that the way Carlos touched me during my last massage, well, let's just
30:39say it was highly inappropriate.
30:41And that kind of behavior is a liability the club can't afford.
30:49Good.
30:51I appreciate you taking care of it.
31:01Hello?
31:02Uh, hello.
31:03Is this Dr. Heller?
31:04Speaking.
31:04Who's calling?
31:05I'm Maggie Card, Hilltop Insurance.
31:07We have an applicant for a new term life insurance policy, and he lists you as a previous
31:12care provider.
31:13I was hoping to verify his medical history.
31:16The name's Dave Williams.
31:17Dave Williams?
31:18I don't know what Dave Williams.
31:20Well, sure you do.
31:20You call him every month.
31:23How would Maggie know that?
31:24I'm guessing.
31:26Who is this?
31:27Uh, hi.
31:28Dr. Heller.
31:29I'm, uh, Lindsay Thorne.
31:31I'm, uh, Maggie's supervisor, and she's confused and about to get fired, and, uh, we just need
31:37you to confirm for our records that you're treating a man named David Williams.
31:42What is your Medicare ID number?
31:45Um, I'm not sure.
31:46We're in the process of converting to the metric system.
31:51I don't know who this is, but are you aware that what you are doing is illegal?
31:58Okay, look, we're just trying to get some info on this guy.
32:01He just moved to Fairview, and he's really creeping people out.
32:05You're in Fairview?
32:06Yeah, why?
32:07Does that mean something to you?
32:13No, I'm just trying to get all the info I need when I contact the federal authorities
32:18to let them know that.
32:24Well, we really screwed the pooch on that one.
32:27Yeah, back to the drawing board.
32:29Can I Irish that up for you?
32:32It's new somewhere.
32:40You got the tape!
32:41How did you manage that?
32:42Orson, we don't need to know.
32:44No, you don't, but it's kind of amazing what you can get a bunch of bikers to do for a
32:48case of beer.
32:49Oh, my.
32:50Well, I better destroy this.
32:52Actually, you may want to watch it first.
32:55Why?
32:55I'm embarrassed enough as it is.
32:57Humor me.
32:58I'll queue it up.
32:59You watched it?
33:00Well, I had to make sure it was the right disc.
33:03Here, just watch a little bit.
33:07Oh, dear God, I can't look.
33:09Really, Andrew?
33:13Wait, Brie, that's not us.
33:16What?
33:17Well, who is it, then?
33:18Wait, wait.
33:19You flip sir in just a sec.
33:20This is where it gets good.
33:28Catherine!
33:29And Mike.
33:32Just so you know, I'm never eating anything that comes out of that kitchen again.
33:50Jackson?
34:03Hi.
34:04Hi.
34:14I am declaring this our official fourth date, okay?
34:18The rules have been followed, and you may begin disrobing now.
34:25I'm kind of doing something right now.
34:29Okay, I just ran into your house half naked.
34:32The only thing you should be doing is me.
34:37What is on your face?
34:39Is that paint?
34:41Are you painting again?
34:43Uh, yeah.
34:45I thought you were blocked.
34:47I was, but not having sex for a few days kind of got my juices flowing in a different direction.
34:54So, now, I really need to finish.
34:57So, you've broken through your creative log jam?
35:03Congratulations.
35:04Oh, why not celebrate by ripping off my clothes with your teeth?
35:07I can't. I'm not finished yet.
35:10How close are you? Because I can wait.
35:13Wait, wait. No, no. Don't look at that yet.
35:23That's me.
35:26Uh, it's supposed to be.
35:34That look on my face.
35:37I've seen it before.
35:41In the mirror.
35:43When I'm feeling...
35:49How do you know about that look?
35:54Well, I know a lot about you.
36:00I know your cheeks get red when people say you're pretty.
36:06I know that your eyes start to tear up whenever you talk about your grandfather.
36:14And I know that when you're really sad, you get that beautiful, haunted look.
36:23That you try to shake off before anybody can see it.
36:30I can't believe I ever thought you didn't know me.
36:43Well, I guess I should let you finish this.
36:46I'm sort of missing hands.
36:49Hmm.
36:50Actually, that is one detail I could do some help with.
36:54Really?
36:55Unless you have a problem posing naked.
36:58Oh, come on.
37:00I think you know the answer to that.
37:10Hey.
37:11Hello, Catherine.
37:13Um, I thought you might want this videotape from our surveillance camera.
37:20We have a surveillance camera?
37:22Yes, in the, uh, test kitchen.
37:28Oh, my God.
37:29So, that means you saw me and...
37:32Mike.
37:33Yes, indeedy.
37:35Oh, I am so embarrassed.
37:38Oh, what you must think of me.
37:40Let's not dwell on it.
37:41Oh, I mean, having sex in the kitchen.
37:43Where food's prepared.
37:45What kind of demented slut would do that?
37:46I said, let's not dwell on it.
37:52Thanks for bringing it by.
37:54Catherine, I'm sorry, but I just have to ask.
37:57You sure you know what you're doing?
37:59Meaning what?
38:01Meaning Susan is your oldest friend on this street.
38:05She divorced Timbree, and she's seeing someone else.
38:09Why can't Mike do that?
38:10Because she's your friend, and we're women.
38:13We don't do that to each other.
38:20Look, I've been alone for five years.
38:23I'm finally in a relationship, and you're trying to make me feel guilty?
38:27Is that what I saw on the tape?
38:28A relationship?
38:30I don't know what it is.
38:32All I know is I'm having the time of my life.
38:39Fair enough, but just be careful.
38:41I mean, this is very complicated.
38:43I'd hate to see it end badly.
38:58Hey, breakfast's on the table.
39:11Porter, this whole hating me thing that you've got going on right now, believe it or not,
39:17I get where you're coming from.
39:20I don't hate you.
39:21But one day, you are going to meet someone more appropriate.
39:30Someone who wants the same things that you do out of life.
39:33Then you are going to know what real love is.
39:38And when you do, I hope you will finally see where I am coming from.
39:49Yeah?
39:50It's me.
39:51Can you talk?
39:52Hey, Gary.
39:53I'm running kind of late.
39:54Can I call you later?
39:56Just listen.
39:58I can leave town Saturday.
40:00You have the money, right?
40:02Yeah.
40:02No problem.
40:04I love you.
40:20I know where you're coming from, Mom.
40:26And I want you and Dad to know that I really appreciate everything you've done for me.
40:38Good.
40:42I'll see you downstairs.
40:55Desire.
40:56It's an emotion designed to lead us astray, persuading those who crave love to make foolish choices.
41:08Causing those who yearn for family to act out in anger, allowing those who are lonely to behave in reckless
41:26ways.
41:30And when the pursuit of our heart's desire becomes an obsession, the best we can hope for is a caring
41:39friend willing to come along.
41:43Hi.
41:45I'd like to book the next flight to Fairview.
41:47And stop us.
41:53I'll see you next time.
41:54Thanks for listening.
41:57Thanks for listening.
41:59Thanks for listening.
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