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00:15Good morning, darling. I've made you breakfast. Did you sleep all right?
00:19Um, yeah. Yeah, I had a really weird dream.
00:24Did you be?
00:25Yeah, I dreamt you'd chuck me, and I moved in with a girl I hardly knew.
00:28I dreamt you?
00:30Yeah.
00:31Has it?
00:32Yeah.
00:35Shit!
00:47Shit.
00:49Son of a...
01:18Tim.
01:21I'm really trying to work.
01:22What are you telling me for?
01:23Well, I...
01:25I can't concentrate with this mess.
01:26I just... I think it's time we unpacked.
01:28Oh, I have unpacked.
01:29Have you?
01:40I'm not talking about your room.
01:41I'm talking about this room.
01:42This is a shared area.
01:43You've got stuff in here, too.
01:45Yeah, I know, but it's under your stuff.
01:46As soon as you clear it up, I can do the rest.
01:48I've got work to do.
01:49Yeah, so you keep saying,
01:50but I haven't seen you sit behind that tight writer
01:51for longer than two minutes.
01:52What do you mean?
01:54I mean...
01:55I think you're trying to avoid doing any work.
01:58Oh, really?
02:04I just think we should draw up some kind of a rota.
02:07Right?
02:08All right.
02:08We need to establish domestic equilibrium.
02:11Okay.
02:12We need to get used to each other.
02:13We don't know each other that well, do we?
02:19Ha, ha, thrash.
02:22No.
02:22In the interest of making this cohabitation charade work for us,
02:26I think we should do everything we can
02:27to try and make day-to-day life
02:30as easy and enjoyable as possible.
02:32All right.
02:32All right.
02:33Look, I'm agreeing with you.
02:35Right.
02:36I'll get on with it, then.
02:38All righty.
02:42All righty.
02:44Right.
02:47I'm going to devine into kitchen litter.
02:50Right, then.
02:51Yes.
03:11I'm going to devine.
03:12Right.
03:16Right.
03:42Hey, it's okay, it's me.
03:44Oh, gosh.
03:46How's it going?
03:48Fine.
03:49How long have I been going?
03:50Two and a half minutes.
03:52Shit!
03:53Listen, I've got an idea.
03:54What?
03:55It's something I think you're gonna like.
03:56I've got to be getting on with this.
03:57It's important, Daisy.
03:59Trust me.
04:05I'm glad we did that.
04:07We had to, really.
04:09It was inevitable, you know?
04:10I'm just glad we did it sooner rather than later.
04:12I think they would've been a hell of a lot of tension if we'd left it any longer.
04:15You tell it now.
04:21What shall we do now?
04:24I think we should descale the teapot.
04:26You filthy bitch.
04:27You love it.
04:34What shall we do now?
04:43What shall we do now?
04:53Um, well, we're having a sale on X-Men comics at the shop,
04:56and Bilbo wanted me to draw a picture of Wolverine slashing prices with his adamantium claws.
05:00All right.
05:01I'm also doing a poster...
05:02All right!
05:20All right!
05:26Oh, my glasses.
05:28Where are my glasses?
05:36All right.
05:38Yes!
05:40Let's have a party.
05:41Let's have a housewarming party.
05:43What?
05:43It'd be great.
05:44I can make invitations out of plastic and tin foil.
05:48We can invite Marsha from upstairs and Brian.
05:51Yeah, all right.
05:52When?
05:52Tonight!
05:53Let's have it tonight!
05:54Tonight?
05:55Yeah!
05:55That's a bit short notice.
05:56It'd be great.
05:57I'd call on my mates.
05:57They'd be like Warhol's factory, you know?
06:00Artists, writers, musicians, dossers off the street,
06:02all just interacting and relaxing in our pad,
06:05the new hub of North London.
06:06The cutting edge!
06:07You know?
06:07We have a glitter ball.
06:08I can make one out of tin foil.
06:11All right.
06:12Yes!
06:13But your room's the coat room.
06:14Okay.
06:16Get this old thing out of the way.
06:18Barley!
06:19Oh, my, it's Barley!
06:21Oh, my, it's Barley!
06:24If we have it, they will come.
06:27I said yes.
06:40We've all got police nowadays, wouldn't we?
06:44Oh, hello!
06:46Everything all right?
06:47Oh, yeah. Teenagers, are you?
06:49She's not a teenager, she's the devil in an acre!
06:55Well, us amiable bunch of 20-somethings,
06:58us harmless happy-go-lucky lot,
06:59we're just having a party tonight, very small, very quiet,
07:02and we just wondered if you and Amber wanted to come
07:03and throw coleslaw at each other.
07:06She won't come, she's having a party of her own up here tonight.
07:09You sure you want me there?
07:10Oh, yeah, yeah, I would love it if you came.
07:13Will Brian be there?
07:15Well, yeah, I hope so. Tim's just gone to ask him.
07:18Do you like him?
07:19He's all right.
07:21Good legs.
07:30Who is it? Father Christmas.
07:35Oh, it's you.
07:36Who do you think it was?
07:39Daisy wants to have a house-warming party tonight,
07:40so she sent me down here to ask you if you want to come.
07:43Is Marsha coming?
07:44Er, I don't know, she's just gonna have to ask her.
07:47What's the deal with you and Marsha?
07:49You know about the deal?
07:51What?
07:52I'm busy, Tim, painting a triptych.
07:55Oh, yeah, what's it called?
07:56Bad Sandwich.
07:57Really?
07:57Yes.
07:58It's a piece about violence in its immediacy, the instancy of the event,
08:03a synchronic rendering of three explosive, aggressive expressions.
08:09There'll be girls at the party.
08:10Really?
08:11Yes.
08:11Mmm.
08:14Oh, am I?
08:15Yeah.
08:15I don't think we're gonna need any security, really,
08:17because it's gonna be very low-key, believe me.
08:19Well, yeah, well, bring one.
08:21Bring the Beretta.
08:22Yeah.
08:23Oh, no, bring the Glock 17.
08:25Yeah.
08:25That's my favourite.
08:26Okay, I'll see you later.
08:28Bye.
08:28Where have you been?
08:29I've been to Marsha.
08:30What's the Glock 17?
08:32It's a gun.
08:32You've been talking to Marsha for four hours.
08:34Yeah, did you know her husband once drummed for status quo?
08:37Who's bringing a gun to the party?
08:38Mike, is that what you've been talking about for four hours?
08:41Why's Mike bringing a gun to our party?
08:43Security.
08:44Do you think she suspects we're not a couple?
08:46I don't think so.
08:47Why do we need security?
08:48We're not organising a rave.
08:50Yeah, well, it's not that kind of security.
08:51It's like a gong, a troll, a lioness blanket, you know.
08:54So, um, do we still have to hold hands in the corridor?
08:58Not if you don't want to.
09:00I didn't say that.
09:01Well, we could probably cut down on the fake sex noises.
09:03Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
09:08My friend Twist is coming.
09:09Oh, you're gonna love her.
09:10She's brilliant.
09:11She's brilliant.
09:12Really intelligent.
09:12Funny.
09:13Talented.
09:13Funny. Funny. Interesting.
09:15Forget all that. Is she fit?
09:16Oh, yeah.
09:17She ran half a marathon for Fashion Aid.
09:19You managed to rustle up any media types?
09:21Oh, yeah.
09:21Who?
09:23Paperboy.
09:24Smooth.
09:25What about you?
09:26Well, what with the skater-rama at the East Finchley Uber Bowl
09:28and the Tripods Convention in Swindon,
09:30most of my friends aren't otherwise engaged, so...
09:32No waiting.
09:34It's gonna be great.
09:36I'm just gonna go and try a few outfits.
09:39PHONE RINGS
09:42Hello?
09:43Oh, hi. Er, is Daisy there, please?
09:45Yeah, hang on. She's just getting her clothes on.
09:46Daisy, it's your boyfriend.
09:48Shhh!
09:50Hi, Richard.
09:51Hi. Um, what did he mean by that?
09:53My what?
09:54About you getting your clothes on.
09:55No, er...
09:56We're having a housewarming,
09:58and I was just trying to pick some clothes, you know.
09:59Oh, let's see.
10:00Oh, how's it going?
10:02What?
10:03Oh!
10:04Oh!
10:04Oh!
10:05What's that?
10:06Oh!
10:06Daisy!
10:07I can hear sex noise!
10:08Shhh!
10:09Oh!
10:25Oh!
10:26Oh!
10:33Oh!
10:34Oh!
10:36Oh!
10:36Oh!
10:38Oh!
10:38Oh!
10:38Oh!
10:39I see it as a tribute to Christo, the artist.
10:44I see it as a waste of Bako the foil.
10:51Party!
10:52Yay!
10:53Okay.
10:54Woooo!
10:55Woooo!
10:58Music!
10:59Music!
11:00What do you want about music?
11:01What do you want about music?
11:02Party tape!
11:03Here we go!
11:05I got a..
11:06Hot dog!
11:07Get your Jamie's head!
11:09I got more cookies!
11:12Hot dog!
11:14Get your Jamie's head!
11:15Come on!
11:17Hot dog!
11:18I got a...
11:22Try not to eat too much, it's because there's quite a lot of people coming, yeah?
11:28Hey Brian, do you want some ice? Come on, come on, get some ice, go on!
11:35Oh god, I don't understand this! I defrosted this earlier, it just eats up electricity and frosts up really quickly.
11:41I've got half a magnum in there this afternoon, I can't get it out now.
11:45It's almost as if it's...
11:46Self-aware.
11:49Yeah.
11:56Ben!
12:00Hi Mike, it's in.
12:03Hello.
12:04Oh, hi. We're looking for the party.
12:06Ah, yeah, well, come on in.
12:08Are you Amber's dad?
12:12It's upstairs.
12:15I think you might have missed the puppet show though.
12:17Fuck off!
12:18What did you say?
12:19I said fuck off.
12:21I know what they said, Mike.
12:23Little cow, standing there with her blimmin' purple hair and her Alka Pops giving all that.
12:27Hello.
12:29Sorry, this is my best friend Mike.
12:31Hello, Mike.
12:31Hello, I'm Daisy.
12:32Nice to meet you.
12:33How are you doing?
12:33Sergeant Mike Watts, TA.
12:35It's the longest way up.
12:36Shortest way down.
12:37Oh, you bought something?
12:38Yeah.
12:39I've got a, er, landmine.
12:41Oh.
12:41Right.
12:42I'll just put that somewhere today.
12:47I'll say.
12:51Artist.
12:53Writer.
12:55Uh, Mike.
12:56You never told me Amber was having a party.
12:59Yeah.
13:00We'll show them.
13:03What is this?
13:04This is rubbish.
13:05We should be listening to firmly own melodies, kicking tunes, thumping bass.
13:09God, I sound so stupid.
13:11Oh.
13:19Twist.
13:20Hi.
13:22Daisy.
13:23Oh.
13:24Now, don't you look nice?
13:26Bit of a midriff show?
13:27Yeah.
13:27Big's in this season.
13:29Good for you.
13:30Good for you.
13:30Come on.
13:40Hey, everyone.
13:41This is my friend, Twist.
13:42Hi.
13:43Hi.
13:45Hey, Twister.
13:46What can I get you?
13:46Well, er, I shouldn't really drink because of the yeast.
13:49But go on, I'll be naughty and have a spritzer.
13:51Is there anywhere I can hang my wrap?
13:53Daisy's room's the co-room.
13:54Right.
13:56She's great, isn't she?
13:57She's so great.
13:58She's so funny.
14:01Oh.
14:03Oh.
14:03Oh.
14:03Oh.
14:04Oh.
14:04Oh.
14:05Oh.
14:05Do you have two got separate rooms?
14:07No.
14:07Yes.
14:08No.
14:08In argument.
14:09Yes.
14:10Yeah, we had a fight.
14:10Daisy snore.
14:11Yeah, I snore.
14:13Like a pig.
14:14Sweaty pig.
14:15I know, you're the pig.
14:17I'm not the snoring one.
14:18Oh, yeah.
14:19That's obviously separately anyway.
14:20Yes, that's right.
14:21Yeah, we're not a couple.
14:22Hey, hey!
14:24Funny.
14:25That is good.
14:26The fact is, we're not a couple.
14:28We like to get the flat.
14:30But we really like it here.
14:31So please, please, whatever you do, don't tell.
14:33Oh, sure.
14:34Hello.
14:35Hi.
14:37It's me, the weirdo from upstairs.
14:40Oh.
14:42Am I late?
14:44No.
14:47Hello, Prime.
14:49Hello.
14:52Um, Twist.
14:54Um, Marsha, this is Twist.
14:56Uh, she's in fashion.
14:58Uh, Marsha's a landlady.
15:01Hello.
15:02Hi.
15:03Interesting outfit.
15:04Oh, thanks.
15:05Thought I'd make an effort.
15:06Mm, yeah.
15:07I can really see what you tried to do.
15:10Yeah, true yours.
15:11Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
15:13And that's Mike.
15:15Uh, and he's a Mike.
15:21Where shall I put my coat?
15:22Uh, what?
15:24Um, uh, don't worry.
15:25Whoa!
15:26I'll put it in Tim and Daisy's room.
15:31Whoa!
15:39Whoa!
15:49If I was you, I wouldn't care, you know. You're great like that.
15:52You can just eat what you like and you don't care if you get fat.
15:55Wish I didn't have to be so picky.
15:57She can't trust them in that organic produce shop, you know.
15:59It's con after con.
16:01That's it, isn't it?
16:02Con after con, you know, the evil hand of capitalism dons a gardening glove
16:06to take our money in the name of global awareness.
16:08There's a woman in there with really squinty eyes.
16:10She stinks of garlic and she looks like a turd in a wig.
16:12You'd think with the amount of money she's raking in,
16:14she could at least afford a new airbrush, a t-shirt or something.
16:19Anyway, it's quite a nice flat.
16:23It'd be better when you've unpacked and cleaned up a little.
16:26This is it, actually.
16:28Tim seems nice and friendly, doesn't he?
16:34Come on now, Daisy.
16:36Stop feeling like a big, fud, ugly failure.
16:38Yeah? Everything's going to be fine.
16:40Hmm? Hey?
16:42Good.
16:50So what do you do, Brian?
16:53You paint.
16:54Oh, yes. What sort of thing?
16:56Tell her, Brian.
16:59Anger.
17:14I know exactly what you mean.
17:22Oh, time warp!
17:24Oh, time warp!
17:27Let's do the time warp again!
17:31Don't shoot the left.
17:33I'm only set to the...
17:34Bloody hell, this clock is so rubbish.
17:36Is it?
17:36You were there.
17:37I've been providing some much-needed door security, Tim, Tim.
17:39Any problems?
17:40No.
17:40I'm sorry.
17:41Do you think we're getting old, Mike?
17:42Everyone gets old, Tim.
17:43Everyone except my cousin Adam.
17:45What's so special about your cousin Adam?
17:46He is getting younger.
17:47Bastard.
17:48What are we going to do?
17:48There's nothing we can do.
17:49The government, no.
17:50They're going to be really hush-hush.
17:51I'm not talking about Adam.
17:52I'm talking about what we're going to do now.
17:53I don't want to go into your party.
17:54But they were playing the time warp, Mike.
17:56I hate the time warp.
17:57Daisy likes it.
17:57So what?
17:58I hate it.
18:00It's boiling-the-bag perversion for sexually repressed accountants
18:02and first-year drama students
18:03with too many posters of Betty Blue,
18:04the Blues Brothers, Big Blue and Blue Velvet
18:06on their blue bloody walls.
18:07It's just a song.
18:08I don't care.
18:09I hate it.
18:10I don't want to hear it.
18:11I don't want to hear it at a party.
18:12Least of all, a party I'm supposed to be throwing.
18:14For the love of God damn it.
18:15I'm trying to sell it.
18:17I'm trying to sell it.
18:18Well, we're all in the arts and in the media, you know.
18:22I'm writing a screenplay at the moment
18:25called, um, Guacamole, um, Window.
18:30So I think you'd be good for the lead, actually.
18:33Oh, do you want one?
18:36No, I'd better not.
18:38Go on, then.
18:39Go on, then.
18:39I'll have a half.
18:40I'll have a half.
18:41They're mints.
18:43Yeah, I'll have a half.
18:44Mint.
18:44Bye-bye, Mr. Merry-bye.
18:48So much, there is two, but there is also a very good guy.
18:52Ow!
18:54Ow!
18:55Ow!
18:56Ow!
18:57You stop it!
19:00I mean it!
19:04I'm sorry I didn't get into the army, Mike.
19:06It's not my fault.
19:08Even if it was, that was a long time ago.
19:10I'll still remember it, Tim-Tim.
19:20Hey, no time for that now.
19:21What are we going to do?
19:22We could slap each other about a bit more.
19:24No, I don't feel like it.
19:25Uh, we could go to Amber's party.
19:27What?
19:28Amber, they go upstairs.
19:29Are you suggesting we crash Amber's party?
19:31I don't know.
19:31We used to be a load of teenage girls.
19:35And that's a good thing.
19:37Ha!
19:41Hey, I know this much is true.
19:48Oh, hey, I know this much is true.
20:00Have you got any more beers?
20:01We need some more beers.
20:03What are you doing?
20:06Who are you?
20:08I'm the paperboy.
20:09Daisy's got a brace.
20:11I thought it was a piercing.
20:12Urgh!
20:13Look, you should come upstairs.
20:14It's brilliant.
20:15It's 2.30am.
20:15It's just got started.
20:17I don't know.
20:18Daisy, there's things like that you wouldn't believe.
20:19What about the party?
20:21What about the dips?
20:22That's what I mean, Daisy.
20:23Don't you see?
20:23What?
20:24Dips.
20:25The Dimewall.
20:26Paperboys.
20:26All right.
20:27Not many people came, but you're having a good time, aren't you?
20:33It's a party.
20:35Is this a laugh?
20:36It's not a laugh.
20:37It's not even a party.
20:39Daisy, there'll be a time for dips, okay?
20:42But this isn't it.
20:44He's right, Daisy.
20:46There's nothing for us here anymore.
20:50Join us.
20:52Yes, come on, Daisy.
20:55Join us.
20:56Join us.
21:26Look at them.
21:28They're all so thin.
21:29They're all so thin.
22:15You want a piece of me?
22:16Come get some.
22:26Heads up.
22:33Oh, shit.
22:36Hiya.
22:37Don't sneak up on me like that.
22:39Ooh.
22:40Want a cup of tea?
22:42Yes.
23:09I need you to eat.
23:11You're okay.
23:13I haven't been to bed.
23:14Me and Mike met up with these two Scottish guys in the pub and they gave us all this cheap
23:16speed.
23:17Oh, Tim, they're so tacky.
23:19Yeah, I know.
23:20You know, they were so nice.
23:21I think if you'd have said no, they'd have got offended and beaten us to death with a pool
23:24cube.
23:24Oh, I know.
23:25Where's Mike now?
23:26Oh, I'm going to go and get my rejection letters then.
23:38Oh, I met this really, really nice girl last night.
23:42Shh.
23:43I'm supposed to be your girlfriend.
23:46Why don't you mind here?
23:47Don't be daft.
23:48You never know who's listening.
23:51Nobody's listening.
23:53You never know who's listening.
23:55Nobody's listening.
24:00So who was this girl then?
24:02Her name was Cassandra.
24:04She was a psychic.
24:05She gave me her phone number.
24:07That's our phone number.
24:09Man, she's good.
24:15Rejection, rejection, rejection.
24:17This is shit.
24:18This is so shit.
24:21I'm a good writer, you know.
24:23All I want is a chance to prove it.
24:25You know, too much to ask.
24:28Oh, I really miss my boyfriend.
24:30I'm going to go to Hull to see Richard.
24:33Don't try and stop me, Tim.
24:35Okay?
24:35I really need this.
24:37Oh!
24:39It's from Flaps.
24:40Who?
24:40A woman's magazine.
24:42I've got an interview today.
24:44I've got to get ready.
24:45What about Richard?
24:46Who?
24:47Right.
24:48I'm going to go to the shops.
24:49Do you want anything?
24:50Porn!
24:51Tim, I'm not going to buy you porn, okay?
24:53You can get it from railway sidings like everybody else.
24:56I can't.
24:56I'm an adult.
24:57I'm supposed to leave it there.
25:00Oh, I'm not going to buy you porn.
25:07Bring him up back.
25:13What are you playing?
25:15It's a subtle blend of lateral thinking and extreme violence.
25:19What?
25:20Like it's a knockout?
25:23Do you want something?
25:26No, not really.
25:29Oh, there's a letter if you came yesterday.
25:34It's open.
25:35Yeah, I opened it by accident because we've both got eyes in our names.
25:56It's from Vulva.
25:58Oh, yeah?
25:58Is that another woman's magazine?
25:59Vulva.
26:00It's an old friend.
26:01She's having a show tonight.
26:02You've got a friend called Vulva?
26:04Who's called Vulva?
26:05Her real name's Ian.
26:06You mean her real name's Ian?
26:07She's non-gender specific.
26:09Oh, wait, you mean he's a tranny?
26:10More than that.
26:12What, a big fat tranny?
26:13Velva.
26:14Had a multimedia performance art partnership before she moved on.
26:20Such aesthetic wonders.
26:22Such vibrant times.
26:25Yeah, I can imagine.
26:35No, no, no, we did valuable work.
26:43She was the beautiful one, really.
26:46I just danced to her tune.
26:48It was purity.
26:50It was physical.
26:51Not in a sexual sense.
26:53We were collaborative.
26:55I don't expect you to understand.
26:57Most people don't want to hear.
26:58They just switch off.
27:00It's hard to hear the story of a love affair between two straight men.
27:04One of whom is the most divine woman alive.
27:10So you're going to go?
27:12I don't know.
27:12I haven't seen her for ages.
27:14No.
27:14I mean, are you going to go now?
27:16No.
27:17Oh, yeah.
27:24Research, research, research, research, research, research, research.
27:29Is it totally about what you're talking about?
27:32What do you do?
27:33What do you do?
27:38I'm here.
27:39I'm here.
27:39I'm here.
27:53I'm here.
27:55Thanks.
27:56Come to fares, right.
27:58Ooh, come to fares.
27:59OK.
28:00One, what do you think about...
28:01What do you think about come to fares, Daisy?
28:05What do I think about them?
28:06Um, well, I like them.
28:08I think they're good.
28:09Right.
28:09I'll show her.
28:10I think she's dressed something like a lesbian.
28:13How did a lesbian dress?
28:14Kind of like Susie Quattro?
28:16It's not really a lesbian magazine.
28:17It's more for modern go-getting young women with something to say, you know,
28:21with a contribution to make.
28:22Women like...
28:22Susie Quattro?
28:23No, like me.
28:24I'm not sure if I should go casual or strappy.
28:27Something a bit glam.
28:28Reliable and frumpy or stupid and glamorous.
28:29Why don't you go something in between?
28:31Frumpy and stupid.
28:32Save you getting ready.
28:32Tim, I'm serious.
28:34This is important.
28:34I've got to get the right...
28:35Look!
28:36Daisy.
28:37Daisy, Daisy, Daisy.
28:41It's going to be OK.
28:44Now, have a big toke on this South African drugs-refer style spliff, Doobie.
28:47I don't know.
28:49It might make me paranoid.
29:08You all right?
29:10No.
29:15I don't know.
29:26I nearly didn't make it.
29:28I've followed most of the way in my squirrels.
29:29Must have seen it about six or seven times.
29:32Maybe it was six or seven different squirrels.
29:38I like your shoes.
29:39Or Patrick Cox's.
29:41I like your shoes.
29:41Oh, right.
29:41Borrowed them.
29:42Yeah.
29:43It's more feet for a bloke.
29:46Give Josh a big kiss for me.
29:48See you Saturday.
29:50Daisy Steiner.
29:52Hiya, Linda.
29:53Be with you in a minute.
29:54Love the shoes.
29:56Patrick Cox's.
30:00Maybe you should try buying your own shoes of future.
30:14Hello, Velva.
30:17Come.
30:20Hi.
30:23Hello.
30:29Hello, Velva.
30:34Yeah, hi, Velva.
30:36Nice invitation.
30:37Hmm?
30:38Oh, yeah, yeah.
30:39Hi.
30:39Hi, Velva.
30:40Velva.
30:41Hi, how are you?
30:42How?
30:42How are you?
30:44How are you?
30:45How are you?
30:46Brian.
30:47Painter.
30:48Damien.
30:48Damien?
30:49Damien Hurst.
30:50Hi, Brian.
30:51Velva.
30:51I'm talking to Damien.
30:53Is it water with the sheep in the box?
30:56No, I paint.
30:58Lots of work with paint.
30:59I do.
31:00Big...
31:01Big...
31:02Big fucking loser.
31:04Yeah.
31:05Yeah.
31:05Big loser.
31:06Brian.
31:07Painter loser.
31:08Big fucking loser.
31:14Take a seat.
31:20Daisy, is it?
31:23Ah.
31:24Like a little flower.
31:26Right.
31:27I'm Yolanda.
31:28This is Tracy, who is our stylist, and Catherine, who is head of marketing.
31:31And you've already met Sarah.
31:33She is administration.
31:34The position requires you to work closely with Michelle and Tara, who aren't here at the
31:38moment because they're busy working on features for our first edition, which we're
31:41aiming to get out by the end of the month.
31:43We've already started our launch campaign.
31:44Have you seen it?
31:47I'm sorry?
31:48Have you seen the launch campaign?
31:51Yes.
31:52Our magazine reflects the needs of today's women.
31:55We want it big, hard, and we want it now.
31:58I knew I should have bought huge fat cocks.
32:00What we need to know is whether you feel, as someone working for our magazine, you could
32:04honestly and intelligently reflect the needs of our demographic.
32:07The 20 to 40-year-old woman who doesn't say no, who sees her home interiors the
32:11same way she says her love.
32:13Be nice.
32:19Spunk.
32:20We don't want you to pigeonhole yourself, but would you call yourself a post-feminist?
32:25Let me put it this way.
32:27Do you drink pints or shots?
32:29Well, I do drink a pint.
32:32I will drink a pint, but I've been known to drink a vodka and tonic.
32:35You know, at a wedding or...
32:40Well, thanks for coming.
32:42It's been really useful.
32:46Okay.
32:49You're right too well there.
32:51Goal power!
33:05Don't write me off, Velva.
33:08I can be...
33:10conceptual.
33:12I'm sorry, Brian.
33:15Please.
33:16It's your work.
33:17Abstract expressionism is so mid to late eighties.
33:39There's no reason for us to stay any longer than necessary.
33:43Let's split up, look for any survivors, and get out of here.
33:48Right.
33:50One last.
33:51Here's the wait.
33:53Hey!
33:56How'd it go?
33:57Yeah.
33:58Great.
33:58Oh, well.
33:59Anyone phone?
34:01Your boyfriend.
34:02Anyone important?
34:03No.
34:07You know.
34:11You know when you said it went well?
34:13Well, when you said well, did you mean shite?
34:18Yes.
34:20I froze up.
34:21I just made a tit myself.
34:24How much of a tit?
34:27I said girl power.
34:31Did you do this?
34:34Yes.
34:38Well, I mean, you know.
34:40You might have impressed them.
34:42Tim.
34:45Tim?
34:45Yeah, I'm thinking.
34:46Oh, shit.
34:48Shitting shit it.
34:49Oh, now, come on.
34:50Don't be so dramatic.
34:50You don't know for definite that you haven't got it.
34:52They might have phone yet.
34:54PHONE RINGS
34:56Well, pick it up then.
34:58PHONE RINGS
34:59Hello?
35:00Oh, hi, Mike.
35:02Yeah, he's here.
35:03I'll just get him.
35:03It's your boyfriend.
35:04He's not my boyfriend.
35:06Hi, bud.
35:08Hello, Timmy.
35:09How are you?
35:10Uh, Sheffield.
35:10What are you doing in Sheffield?
35:12Fell asleep on the tube.
35:13The tube doesn't go to Sheffield, Mike.
35:15Yeah, I know.
35:16I, uh, must have changed at King's Cross.
35:18Right, well, don't fall asleep on the way back, okay?
35:21Mike.
35:22Mike!
35:27What is it with you two?
35:28You sound like his dad sometimes.
35:31Well, it's a long story.
35:44Hello?
35:45Brian?
35:46No, no, here's the weirdo downstairs.
35:48Oh, sorry, sorry, Brian.
35:50Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:51Come up.
35:51Okay.
35:51Bye.
35:53Brian's coming up.
35:54Why did he phone?
35:55I don't know.
35:55Why did he paint his arse blue last week?
35:58You don't like him, do you?
35:59I do like him.
36:00I just think he's a bit pretentious.
36:01How do I look?
36:03A bit pretentious.
36:05I think you look lovely, Brian.
36:07Do you think I should lose the waistcoat?
36:08I think you should burn it.
36:10Cos, you know, if you lose it, you might find it again.
36:13You going out, Bri?
36:14Yeah, he's going to see his transsexual ex-boy girlfriend's new play.
36:18Oh, that sounds great.
36:20Oh, we'll come.
36:21You'll come, won't you, Tim?
36:22No way, it's not my cup of tea.
36:23No, it isn't.
36:24Oh, come on, Bri, it'd be great, it'd be fun.
36:27If you hate it, it's just a bit of art, you know,
36:28a load of wankers, influential people.
36:30Free booze, though.
36:31Mmm, yeah.
36:32Okay, let's go to the theatre.
36:34Well, you can come if you want, but you probably won't get in.
36:37Erm, there's three of us.
36:38We've only got one invitation.
36:40That's okay.
36:40Go on, then you go.
36:42There's not that many here.
36:43I haven't got tickets.
36:44Look, mate, I've told you.
36:46You can go in.
36:47It's ridiculous.
36:48They haven't even invited.
36:49Look, just leave it, Bard, right?
36:50Let's just go in.
36:51It'll be fine.
36:52Yeah, ma'am, we're not going to embarrass you.
36:53You know, we're just, we're here if you need us.
36:55Okay?
36:56Sorry.
36:57Sorry.
37:01Hey.
37:10What are you doing here?
37:11Oh, er, we just came with Brian.
37:13Oh, wonderful.
37:15So how's it all going with the flat and everything?
37:17It's fine.
37:18Sorry.
37:19You come here for a big night out, it's your landlady spying on you.
37:26Hello, Brian.
37:27Haven't seen you for a long while.
37:29Been painting.
37:30You've just been trying to avoid me, haven't you?
37:35Show's starting up.
37:55Hey.
37:56Shhh.
38:00Macro.
38:02Piotti.
38:04Dust me clean.
38:07Brand.
38:09Lysol.
38:11Using a cleaning spray.
38:14Neat.
38:16Etchah.
38:16Suck it in.
38:18Films.
38:19Turn it out.
38:20Come on.
38:31Beautiful.
38:32Beautiful.
38:34I cannot believe I said girl power.
38:39Hey, deadhead.
38:40Take a bite of peach.
39:02Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
39:07It's not finished!
39:10It's finished!
39:24Do you wonder if I put my glass there?
39:26It's for your country.
39:29I thought you were brilliant.
39:31And who are you then?
39:32I'm Desi Steiner. I'm writer, journalist.
39:36Do you know any famous or important people?
39:38Well, my mum's cousin went to school with Enya.
39:41She was in the year above, but I had the same percussion teacher.
39:45I ain't your mum, and I ain't you.
39:48That's brilliant, brilliant.
39:54Vulva, hi.
39:55Brian, you came.
39:57Wouldn't have missed it for the world.
39:58Are you still painting?
40:00Not exclusively.
40:02Moving into multimedia pastures, installations,
40:05a platter of organic processes mixed with a pinch of irony
40:08and a side helping of self-deprecation.
40:11Sounds delicious.
40:14You should see what's for pudding.
40:26Oh, Brian, who came?
40:29Um, no, I just spilled my drink.
40:31So nice to see you.
40:32Are you still painting?
40:34Not.
40:36Uh, just, you know, multimedia splatters.
40:39Irony and self-deprecation.
40:41Sounds a little hard to swallow.
40:44It's pudding.
40:45Poor thing.
40:47I always loved your quirkiness.
40:49You must be able to see I've moved on.
40:51The projects I've been working on with Hoover
40:54are the most incisive and effective I've ever done.
40:56I can't believe some of the shit I used to do with you.
41:01That's the difference between you and me, Brian.
41:03I could always see into the distance.
41:05You, it has to be said, were always a little short-sighted.
41:10Anyway, we're having a post-mortem at the Squid and Mashed Potato.
41:14I suppose you could tag along.
41:18You make your mind up and maybe I'll see you later.
41:30Now, come on.
41:32There's no need for us to be here any longer than necessary.
41:34Let's split up, look at the survivors and get out of here.
41:36A mighty novel and poetry and articles, short stories, children's book.
41:41Oh, and I'm doing a side-down before.
41:42No, piss off, will you?
41:44Come on.
41:44What are you doing?
41:45I'm saving us.
41:46This is over.
41:50Bye.
41:51Bye, Ben.
41:53I'll see you later.
42:03So beautiful.
42:04Yeah.
42:06Like a kind of visual poetry.
42:10Wish I could do that.
42:11Well, I'm sure you could if you had funding.
42:14Right hook.
42:16Bang.
42:17What?
42:18Should have done it long ago, Daisy.
42:20In this drunken, childish way, Tim saved me.
42:24Talk about expression.
42:27Talk about the truth.
42:29But what truer expression is there than the purity of the clenched fist?
42:34I am a man, Daisy.
42:37A man.
42:39Vulva treated me like a monkey.
42:42I'm more than that.
42:44I am a man.
42:45A monkey man.
42:47A beast with a mind and a mind and fists.
42:51And I will not be subdued again.
42:53Not by vulva.
42:54Not by anyone.
42:58Hey, fella.
42:59No, he is.
43:12Morning, slugger.
43:14Letters?
43:14I don't know.
43:18How do you feel?
43:22Like I'm going to die.
43:24Me too.
43:25So what happened last night?
43:27We went to see an interesting piece of contemporary theatre.
43:30We drank an enormous amount of free wine,
43:32we ate our body weight in twiglets,
43:33and you punched an artist in my face.
43:36Shit. I'm not supposed to eat twiglets.
43:39Why not?
43:40They make me violent.
43:44It's from the magazine.
43:46Maybe they did like me.
43:47Maybe they liked my kookiness.
43:49I could be like the cute one in the office,
43:51you know, the ditzy one who always gets it wrong,
43:53you know, the office clown.
43:54I'd be like,
43:55ooh, you land off, lost the farm,
43:56and she'd be like,
43:57that's all right, Daisy,
43:58because, you know, we just like having you around,
43:59you know, because you're like crazy and wild.
44:01You're like an asset to the office dynamic.
44:04So, no.
44:05Oh, well, never mind.
44:07Who needs them anyway, Daisy?
44:08You know, what do they know?
44:09Nothing.
44:09They're just jealous.
44:10Of what?
44:12Your tits.
44:14It's not about my tits anymore, Tim.
44:16I wish it were.
44:17It's not like the old days,
44:18when you could get a job wearing a short skirt,
44:19showing a bit of cleavage.
44:21I've got to prove my intellectual worth.
44:23I just...
44:24I know there's something I've got to be.
44:26I just don't know what it is.
44:27I feel like a rabbit.
44:30Trapped on a road to nowhere.
44:32Frozen.
44:33In headlights of the 21st century.
44:35Daisy, for the last time,
44:36you stopped being so dramatic.
44:38Why did you have to make such a performance out of everything?
44:41From the 21st century.
44:42Let's comeela west coast.
44:42no, nothing caress.
44:42Oh!
44:45faults!
44:46FŃŃ!
44:46Fields!