- 19 hours ago
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00:00:15Johnny English.
00:00:19Five years ago he was our top agent.
00:00:22Yeah. Took his eye off the ball in Mozambique.
00:00:38Does it have to be him?
00:00:40He's the only one our contact will talk to.
00:00:46So where is he?
00:01:14You came here.
00:01:16To forget your life of shame.
00:01:20But the path you must tread to new life will not be easy English.
00:01:31Our purpose here is simple. To strengthen what is weak. Make hard what is soft.
00:01:44Help! Help! Help!
00:01:56This will take time.
00:02:04Mind must be master of the body.
00:02:11Strong mind can separate the body from its suffering.
00:02:18Good concentration English.
00:02:22Sorry?
00:02:23Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
00:02:28You are not young.
00:02:32But with age comes wisdom.
00:02:37Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
00:02:56Master put!
00:03:08Master. What is my destiny?
00:03:13I'm in touch with a higher power.
00:03:26MI-7 wants you on the first flight back to London.
00:03:38Master, am I ready?
00:03:44No.
00:03:47Window seat or aisle.
00:03:56Good morning, sir.
00:03:59Does she have a British intelligence?
00:04:00Electronics press 1.
00:04:02Electronics press 1.
00:04:03To speak to an agent press 2.
00:04:05Does she have a British intelligence?
00:04:06Certainly, sir. Can I redirect you to our website?
00:04:08Absolutely.
00:04:13Good morning, sir. Can I help you?
00:04:15Johnny English.
00:04:17Pegasus is expecting you.
00:04:19Look into the camera.
00:04:26Don't smile.
00:04:31Pamela Thornton, head of MI-7.
00:04:35Johnny English.
00:04:37Have a seat.
00:04:40You've been away for some time, English.
00:04:43But you haven't been forgotten.
00:04:48People here often talk about your adventures in Mozambique.
00:04:55Well, MI-7 has come a long way since then.
00:04:58The guns, the fast cars and the chauvinism are all on their way out.
00:05:05Frankly, I didn't want to see you back.
00:05:07You are everything I came into this service to change.
00:05:10But my hands are tired.
00:05:13And there are times when one has to...
00:05:19We have a situation.
00:05:22Indeed.
00:05:26There's a good puss.
00:05:28There's a good puss.
00:05:32There's a good pussy.
00:05:33Who's a good pussy?
00:05:34I'm impressed.
00:05:35Who's a good pussy?
00:05:36Phil, we never let strangers pick him up.
00:05:38Oh, I'm very much at one with the animal kingdom.
00:05:41Meow.
00:05:42There's a good pussy.
00:05:43I know.
00:05:44I know.
00:05:45Who's lovely?
00:05:46Who's lovely?
00:05:48Who...
00:05:52We're all lovely.
00:05:57Kate Sumner.
00:05:59Our behavioural psychologist.
00:06:01I've heard a great deal about you.
00:06:03Glowing reports, I trust.
00:06:04Tell me, Miss Sumner, what exactly does a behavioural psychologist do?
00:06:10Monitor observable behaviour for signs of internal psychology.
00:06:15We read people.
00:06:17Oh.
00:06:18Well, we must get together sometime.
00:06:20I think you'll find me a real page-turner.
00:06:22Oh.
00:06:35So, Pegasus, this situation...
00:06:39Ex-CIA agent Titus Fisher has contacted us from Hong Kong.
00:06:43He has intelligence of a plot to assassinate the Chinese Premier at the Anglo-Chinese talks next week.
00:06:49We need you to go and find out what he's got.
00:06:52Well, in that case, Pegasus, count me in.
00:06:57Agent One will meet you downstairs.
00:07:04So, I just scaled the walls, blew the whole place to Kingdom Come, and an hour later I'm sitting in
00:07:08the bar with a white Russian in my hand.
00:07:11Who was very lovely too, I can tell you.
00:07:14Simon.
00:07:18Hello, Johnny.
00:07:21Simon.
00:07:22Simon.
00:07:23You look wonderful.
00:07:24But then you always did.
00:07:25Welcome back.
00:07:26How long's it been?
00:07:27Oh, I don't know.
00:07:28Five years?
00:07:29Three months and six days or something?
00:07:31Of course.
00:07:32Mozambique.
00:07:35That was a balls-up with a cherry on top.
00:07:39Come on.
00:07:40Let's get you sorted.
00:07:42Welcome to the toy cupboard.
00:07:53I won't leave you my number.
00:07:55You know Patch?
00:07:56Patch Quartermain.
00:07:58The man himself.
00:07:59English.
00:08:00Please, don't get up.
00:08:01Oh, no chance of that.
00:08:04Lost them. Testing the B6 exploding brogues.
00:08:08Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:08:09How are you?
00:08:11Have to be this one, I'm afraid.
00:08:13Lost this to the detent doorbell.
00:08:16Well, it's great to see what's left of you.
00:08:20This is rather good fun, actually.
00:08:22Top speed of 60 MPH and I've managed to add the odd thing.
00:08:30This way. I haven't got all day.
00:08:32Don't!
00:08:35Did you stop meddling in English?
00:08:37Here she is.
00:08:39Ah, the Rolls Royce fountain.
00:08:40Truly the Rolls Royce of automobiles.
00:08:44Armour plating. All the bells and whistles.
00:08:47Safe bonnet.
00:08:48Bonnet.
00:08:49Command accepted.
00:08:51Voice activation recognizes only you.
00:08:54Rolls has fitted one of their experimental engines.
00:08:56The 9-litre V16.
00:08:58Goes like the wind.
00:09:01Only quieter.
00:09:04Beautiful.
00:09:05Keep up.
00:09:06Here's what you'll be taking to Hong Kong.
00:09:09Ah, yes.
00:09:10Satellite receiver.
00:09:11Tracking device.
00:09:13Semtex chewing gum.
00:09:15And now, what did I just say?
00:09:17Oh!
00:09:17Oh!
00:09:20That's the new P2 digital dug gun.
00:09:23Gentlemen.
00:09:24May I remind you all that MI7's current weapon of choice is dialogue?
00:09:29Don't we do love it when it gets strict, Pegasus?
00:09:35English, you go to Hong Kong tonight.
00:09:38Fisher will contact you there.
00:09:39To ensure protocol is observed, I'm sending someone with you.
00:09:46Agent Tucker.
00:09:50It'll be an honor, sir.
00:09:53It'll be an honor, sir.
00:09:53Well, it'll be good to have somebody to carry the bags.
00:09:56You made a laughing stock out of this service once, English.
00:10:00Not on my watch.
00:10:02Clear.
00:10:03Crystal clear, Pegasus.
00:10:12Just like old times, eh, Johnny?
00:10:14I'm off to Switzerland.
00:10:15Let's catch up when you get back.
00:10:16There's nothing I'd like more, Simon.
00:10:21No one's seen the voice-changing travel lozenges.
00:10:27Um...
00:10:29No.
00:10:31No.
00:10:35No.
00:10:35No.
00:10:37No.
00:10:54Come on, Tucker.
00:11:01I'm not 21 until September, so I'm not really allowed in.
00:11:05Sucker, you're an agent working for Her Majesty's Secret Service.
00:11:07Destructing part.
00:11:21$10,000 worth of these, my lovely.
00:11:28Another seat, please.
00:11:36Be alert for contact, Tucker.
00:11:39We're looking for a Chinese man in spectacles.
00:11:45Sir, the Chinese man in spectacles.
00:11:54Contact.
00:12:03Evening.
00:12:21Your grandmother is sick.
00:12:25What?
00:12:27Your grandmother is sick.
00:12:30Well, she's dead.
00:12:31That's how sick she is.
00:12:43Is he dead, sir?
00:12:44Yes.
00:12:46Oh.
00:12:57Hey, they're like, hey, they're great.
00:13:12Hi, Mum.
00:13:13What's the matter?
00:13:14No, no, no, nothing's the matter.
00:13:15What's the matter?
00:13:16I felt a bit funny last night, but I'm okay now.
00:13:23So what have you got for us?
00:13:25The people behind the plot to kill Zhang Ping, the Chinese premier.
00:13:29A group called Vortex.
00:13:31Never heard of them.
00:13:32Paid assassins.
00:13:33The best there is.
00:13:41Come on, Fisher.
00:13:42I need names.
00:13:43I need evidence.
00:13:49Vortex has a secret weapon.
00:13:51This is one of three keys that, when used together, gain access to it.
00:13:56Without this, Vortex is finished.
00:13:59How did you get hold of it?
00:14:01It's mine.
00:14:03I beg your pardon?
00:14:05Vortex is three of us.
00:14:11Come on, Fisher.
00:14:13You, a hired assassin?
00:14:16You couldn't hit a barn door with a banana.
00:14:19And as for Vortex, clearly you've got the name off a box of washing powder.
00:14:25Vortex was in Mozambique.
00:14:29What?
00:14:30Yeah?
00:14:32Really?
00:14:33Mom, mom, go, go, go, go, go.
00:14:36We were all there that day, Johnny boy.
00:14:38Let's get a sound.
00:14:39What?
00:14:43Hey, there's a pick.
00:14:45Come on.
00:14:45Come on.
00:14:47Come on.
00:14:58Madam, let me help you with that.
00:15:00Here, yes, I think you should vacate the area.
00:15:02There are some very dangerous people about.
00:15:05There we go.
00:15:13Get out of here, sucker.
00:15:15Get out of here.
00:15:16Get out of here.
00:15:16Oh.
00:15:17Ah.
00:15:18Oh.
00:15:19Oh.
00:15:20No.
00:15:24What?
00:15:38Sir, sir!
00:15:39Over here, Tucker.
00:15:41I lost this, sir.
00:15:42Look what I found.
00:15:50This way, sir, this way!
00:15:52You get down to the street.
00:15:53I'll take the roof.
00:16:24I'll take the roof.
00:16:28You are not young, but with age comes wisdom.
00:16:55I'll take the roof.
00:17:25I'll take the roof.
00:17:27I'll take the roof.
00:17:28I'll take the roof.
00:17:33I'll take the roof.
00:17:48I'll take the roof.
00:17:49I'll take the roof.
00:18:01I'll take the roof.
00:18:02I'll take the roof.
00:18:05I'll take the roof.
00:18:06I'll take the roof.
00:18:10I'll take the roof.
00:18:11I'll take the roof.
00:18:12I'll take the roof.
00:18:17I'll take the roof.
00:18:17I'll take the roof.
00:18:40I don't know what the hell is going on.
00:18:41Okay, come here.
00:18:49Come on, Tucker.
00:18:51Can I help?
00:18:52I'm commandeering this vessel in the name of Her Majesty.
00:18:56All right, Owing, Commander.
00:18:58How exciting.
00:19:16Now, what's your poison? Can I get you something?
00:19:19Um, we've got vodka, rum.
00:19:25Your safety is our priority.
00:19:28You can help us by familiarizing yourself with this leaflet.
00:19:34Cream of moss, a smidgen of port, and that's about it, I'm afraid.
00:19:42I'm Shirley.
00:19:43Well, hello, Shirley.
00:19:48Just a tab to your left, Shirley.
00:20:31I said, wait, come on, man.
00:20:34Let's go.
00:20:36I can't see you.
00:20:36I'm going to kill you.
00:21:09Oh, yes, looks like a gladiator!
00:21:36Come on, put it up!
00:22:05Come on, come on!
00:22:24More champagne, my lovely.
00:22:26Certainly, sir.
00:22:27Tucker, are you sure you don't want a shandy or something?
00:22:29I've got to finish this mission report, sir.
00:22:32And Pegasus wants to see us as soon as we touch down.
00:22:35The mission report?
00:22:37Oh, come on, Tucker, live a little.
00:22:40You should learn to savour success.
00:22:43Work hard, play hard.
00:22:47Isn't that right, Barbara?
00:23:02Oh, come on.
00:23:07Vortex is finished.
00:23:10But better still, for years I believed what happened in Mozambique was my fault.
00:23:16Now I realise it was only partly my fault.
00:23:20What did happen in Mozambique?
00:23:33Excuse me, sir.
00:23:34We're coming into land.
00:23:36Can I store that overhead for you?
00:23:37Certainly.
00:23:40Sir, I don't think he's a Susan.
00:23:44But then you're not a linguist, are you, Italian?
00:23:47It's not Susan.
00:23:49It's Shushan.
00:23:51From the Zinzu region, unless I'm very much mistaken.
00:23:55Thank you, Shushan.
00:24:11Foreign Secretary.
00:24:13I hope you've got something for us, English.
00:24:16The Prime Minister is extremely concerned.
00:24:19He has every reason to be so.
00:24:21There is a plot to kill the Chinese Premier,
00:24:24masterminded by a group of ruthless assassins called Vortex.
00:24:29Good Lord.
00:24:30The danger, however, has been averted.
00:24:34Now that we have this...
00:24:43English.
00:24:44Now I know what you're going to say.
00:24:45It's a pretty small object.
00:24:49Well, it's often the little things that pack the biggest punch.
00:24:53After all, David killed Goliath with a pebble.
00:24:57The mighty Vortex has been slain by my possession of this small key.
00:25:25Shushan.
00:25:28Susan.
00:25:33We got it.
00:25:35The Fisher talked.
00:25:38Understood.
00:25:40We'll deal with English.
00:25:45You've got some more cleaning to do.
00:25:49Mummy, Mummy, Mr Rhubarb's here.
00:25:52Is he?
00:25:53Darling.
00:25:54Why don't you show him into the Conservatory?
00:25:56I'll be with you in just a minute.
00:25:58OK.
00:25:58Come on.
00:25:59Come on.
00:25:59Let's go.
00:26:00Can you show me?
00:26:02Perhaps when you've found your key, you'll give me a call?
00:26:06I'm very sorry, Foreign Secretary.
00:26:08I'd hoped to have more for you.
00:26:12Oh, God.
00:26:13Oh, God.
00:26:14Oh, God.
00:26:42Pegasus.
00:26:43I've got her.
00:26:45You rich.
00:26:46English.
00:26:47She was in Hong Kong.
00:26:48She's the killer.
00:26:51She's my mother.
00:26:54Couldn't she be both?
00:26:59Mummy.
00:27:00Mummy, are you all right?
00:27:02Shall we get you a cup of tea?
00:27:07You'll be fine, Mummy.
00:27:08What's that matter?
00:27:10Yeah, I think a cup of tea.
00:27:13That's what's required.
00:27:19Pegasus.
00:27:20I am truly, truly sorry.
00:27:22Don't apologise to me.
00:27:24Apologise to her.
00:27:36I cannot apologise enough.
00:27:38This is, er, Pegasus.
00:27:42It was a simple case of mistaken identity, I'm afraid.
00:27:46Now, I completely understand how upset you are,
00:27:49but I was hoping perhaps we could talk.
00:27:55Sir?
00:27:56Tucker!
00:27:58It's her!
00:27:59It's the killer from Hong Kong!
00:28:00No, it's not her, sir.
00:28:01It is this time.
00:28:02It's really her.
00:28:03It's not her, sir.
00:28:04Yes, it is.
00:28:11Right way!
00:28:13Sir!
00:28:15You murderous crone!
00:28:19You murderous crone!
00:28:35This is the witch who works for Vortex.
00:28:38What any more, you old hag?
00:28:41English!
00:28:42Franny!
00:28:52You humiliate me in front of the Foreign Secretary.
00:28:54You lose our only lead on Vortex, and then you try and kill my mother.
00:28:59Twice!
00:29:01Pegasus, we have another lead.
00:29:03Vortex was in Mozambique.
00:29:04They were responsible for the death of President Shambal.
00:29:07No!
00:29:08You were responsible for the death of President Shambal.
00:29:22Well, you certainly gave Mr. Rhubarb a run for his money.
00:29:27Still, at least we know Vortex was in Mozambique.
00:29:32When you told Pegasus, you displayed all four indicators of someone telling the truth.
00:29:44It's a facial action coding system.
00:29:47Its high-speed cameras record micro-expressions invisible to the naked eye.
00:29:51Detect what we call emotional leakage.
00:29:53Miss Sumner, I'm a trained agent.
00:29:55I don't leak.
00:29:57I want to take you back to Mozambique.
00:30:01Is that really necessary?
00:30:05Take a look at this.
00:30:07I want to take you back to Mozambique.
00:30:12There.
00:30:14Could we call that leakage?
00:30:16Now play ball.
00:30:17I'm taking a risk being here after hours.
00:30:21If Vortex was in Mozambique, perhaps you saw something.
00:30:24I'm going to take you back there using hypnosis.
00:30:27Oh, please. Spare me the new-age mumbo-jumbo.
00:30:30Mr. English, please.
00:30:31I'm a professional.
00:30:32I'm not going to just snap my fingers and make you say the first thing that comes into your head.
00:30:38Plump pillows.
00:30:40Excuse me?
00:30:41Brilliant mime.
00:30:43Beautiful face.
00:30:45Incredible.
00:30:47And completely out of my league.
00:30:55I'd like to take you back to Mozambique.
00:31:02Tell me what's happening, Johnny.
00:31:04Where are you?
00:31:06President Shambal's inauguration day.
00:31:10Yes.
00:31:10Your head of security.
00:31:15Everything's going perfectly.
00:31:17Today we climb the mountain.
00:31:19Major English.
00:31:22The people have spoken.
00:31:24And the message is waiting.
00:31:29The backup electrical supply has been cut.
00:31:34No, it hasn't.
00:31:36It's been turned off.
00:31:38Do you know how to turn it on?
00:31:42I should be getting back.
00:31:45Well, operations like this are always difficult.
00:31:48But it's very satisfying when you get a result.
00:31:50The president couldn't be in safer hands.
00:31:53The future belongs to Mozambique.
00:31:59Ah, the fireworks have begun.
00:32:01The sound of freedom and celebration.
00:32:11Easy, Johnny. Easy. Go back.
00:32:13Before the jacuzzi.
00:32:14What did you see?
00:32:21Yes.
00:32:23Fisher.
00:32:26On the terrace with two others.
00:32:28Yes.
00:32:29All three members of Vortex were there that day.
00:32:32Who can you see?
00:32:34Who can you see, Johnny?
00:32:39Artem Karlenko.
00:32:45Double agent.
00:32:46Recruited by MI7 in Moscow.
00:32:49Retired after his penchant for killing people threatened his cover.
00:32:53Five years ago, he turned up here.
00:32:55As Sergei Podovkin.
00:32:57Rich.
00:32:58Very rich.
00:32:59A member of the exclusive Oakwood Golf Club, which is where you'll be meeting him.
00:33:02He's in a match play competition, sir.
00:33:05I'm making you his opponent for the day.
00:33:10You're booked in as Mr. Peter Adams.
00:33:15Thank you, Tucker.
00:33:17If Karlenko is Vortex, I want you to bring him in.
00:33:21Alive.
00:33:44Alive.
00:33:45Mr. Pussikin.
00:33:47Budovkin.
00:33:49And you must be Mr...
00:33:54Um...
00:33:55Adams.
00:33:57Beautiful car, Mr. Adams.
00:33:59Ah, the Royce.
00:34:01Ready, sir.
00:34:04Shall we?
00:34:06Let's go.
00:34:07Command accepted.
00:34:10So what line of business are you in, Mr. Adams?
00:34:13Budovkin.
00:34:14Uh...
00:34:15Sorry, yes.
00:34:16I'm Mr. Adams, and you're Mr...
00:34:18Uh...
00:34:18Uh...
00:34:18Whoever you said you were.
00:34:20Will.
00:34:21Stop!
00:34:24Oh.
00:34:24Sorry.
00:34:25I thought I'd forgotten something.
00:34:44I thought I'd forgotten something.
00:34:47Oh.
00:34:52Gloves, sir.
00:34:54I may not know much about golf, Tucker, but I know how to hold the bat.
00:35:23Shot, sir.
00:35:38So, what line of business are you in, Mr. Puddykin?
00:35:41I made my money in the removals business.
00:35:43Ah.
00:35:46A friend of mine had shares in the removals business.
00:35:49Titus Fisher.
00:35:50You haven't come across him at all?
00:35:53I warn you, Mr. Adams, not to stray into the rough.
00:35:56If you get in there, you might never come out.
00:35:59I'll bear that in mind, Mr. Puddykin.
00:36:02Puddykin, please.
00:36:17Shot.
00:36:18As was my friend Fisher, actually.
00:36:22In the back.
00:36:25By his cleaner, of all people.
00:36:34But they didn't take much.
00:36:37Just a key.
00:36:45Break left to right, I think.
00:36:48Mr. Puddykin.
00:36:48It's three levels.
00:37:10In the trees.
00:37:14Come on.
00:37:18Oh, my God.
00:37:19He can't die.
00:37:20He mustn't die.
00:37:20Let's get out of here.
00:37:21Come on.
00:37:22Come on.
00:37:22Come on.
00:37:26He's not looking good, sir.
00:37:28We're getting you to a doctor.
00:37:30You'll be fine.
00:37:33You do not have to play these, sir.
00:37:35It was part of basic training.
00:37:36Good.
00:37:37It's just like riding a bike.
00:37:44Yes, it's all coming back to me.
00:37:48Raise the...
00:38:07This is helicopter, golf, hotel, Zulu, Zulu, Tango.
00:38:11We have a casualty on board.
00:38:12Request guidance to nearest hospital.
00:38:15Our location.
00:38:16Location.
00:38:17Um...
00:38:17She shot out the navigation system.
00:38:20Hang on.
00:38:30Run stock.
00:38:32Our location is run stock.
00:38:34What's her altitude?
00:38:38About 18 inches.
00:38:40Hello?
00:38:42Hello?
00:38:45Sorry.
00:38:46I'll just move.
00:38:48What now, sir?
00:38:50We'll have to stick to the road.
00:38:52Let's follow the 1328.
00:38:54There's bound to be a hospital in Dingham.
00:39:02Look after him, Tucker.
00:39:03Look after him.
00:39:09I think we're losing him, sir.
00:39:11We can't lose him, Tucker.
00:39:12He's our only lead.
00:39:14Try something else.
00:39:21Don't give up on us, baby.
00:39:24Lord knows we've come this far.
00:39:34Don't give up on us, baby.
00:39:35We are the angel and the dreamer.
00:39:43Don't give up on us, I know.
00:39:46We can still come through.
00:39:52Don't give up on us, baby.
00:39:56Don't give up on us, baby.
00:39:59Don't give up on us, baby.
00:40:00Don't give up on us, baby.
00:40:00We can still come through.
00:40:04Look, sir.
00:40:05Follow the ambulance.
00:40:07Good idea.
00:40:10Don't give up on us, baby.
00:40:24Don't give up on us, baby.
00:40:39IGB?
00:40:41Yes.
00:40:42CIA?
00:40:46Yes. Yes!
00:40:52MI7.
00:41:02Unbelievable.
00:41:04A vowel in MI7.
00:41:09A mole, sir.
00:41:11What?
00:41:13There's a mole in MI7.
00:41:16There's a mole and a vole?
00:41:19No, sir. There's a mole, not a vole.
00:41:22Well, I disagree. There's certainly a vole.
00:41:25I mean, we know that much.
00:41:27All you're saying is there might be a mole as well.
00:41:32Pegasus.
00:41:34There's a meeting at MI7 with the Prime Minister.
00:41:43I'm here again, eyes down and to the left, indicating dissent.
00:41:47With Xiangping, it's all about the eyes.
00:41:49Thank you, Miss Sumner.
00:41:50If the talks go ahead, I'd like you with us.
00:41:52Yes, Prime Minister.
00:41:55Good evening, gentlemen.
00:41:57Mr English.
00:41:58Miss Sumner.
00:42:00Right.
00:42:03So, when's the Prime Minister going to grace us with his presence?
00:42:07I'm the Prime Minister.
00:42:10Yeah, you wish.
00:42:19Um.
00:42:21All right.
00:42:22So, we're all here.
00:42:23Ahem.
00:42:25These talks with China are of paramount importance.
00:42:29Rogue states in Southeast Asia have begun secretly to develop nuclear weapons.
00:42:33It is vital that we get China on side.
00:42:35Traditionally, China has been impervious to our concerns,
00:42:38but I believe Xiangping, given the opportunity,
00:42:40can and will help defuse this situation.
00:42:44Well, with his pro-West stance, it certainly offers an opportunity.
00:42:47The talks can't go ahead unless we can guarantee his safety.
00:42:51I believe with the correct security that we can.
00:42:53If Vortex is operational, it's just too dangerous.
00:42:56I'm inclined to agree, Prime Minister.
00:43:01There is a way.
00:43:03The Swiss are willing to lend us La Bastion.
00:43:06That's their government fortress in the Alps.
00:43:09It's a stunning example of architectural engineering at altitude.
00:43:13And completely impregnable.
00:43:16I mean, that should solve all our security issues.
00:43:19Then the talks go ahead.
00:43:22Pamela, I hope you've brushed up on your mandarin.
00:43:24I'd like you in the room with me.
00:43:25And your best man on security?
00:43:27Yes, Prime Minister.
00:43:30Where are we on Vortex?
00:43:34English.
00:43:35Vortex is three men.
00:43:37Fisher was one.
00:43:39Karlenko was another.
00:43:40Karlenko was killed today on the orders of the Third.
00:43:45Any leads?
00:43:46Yes, but I need time.
00:43:48We do not have time.
00:43:50We need to know the identity of the third person in Vortex.
00:43:59Give me twenty-four hours.
00:44:11Another bottle of Romney Conti?
00:44:13Of course.
00:44:14Would you like to choose desserts?
00:44:15Yes.
00:44:16You.
00:44:19Then bring two spoons.
00:44:25Cheers.
00:44:26Cheers.
00:44:27Cheers.
00:44:31So, come on, Johnny, what was it you wanted to ask me?
00:44:39Simon, do you know what this is?
00:44:45Some sort of key?
00:44:48Karlenko and Fisher both had one, and they were both killed for them.
00:44:53Well, I'll give it to the boys at the lab.
00:44:58Karlenko told me that the third man in Vortex is in MI7.
00:45:11And you believed him?
00:45:14Simon, I have to ask you a question, face to face.
00:45:22Do you have any idea who it might be?
00:45:29Johnny, I thought you were about to accuse me.
00:45:32No!
00:45:33I mean, honestly.
00:45:34What?
00:45:34Simon Ambrose, the evil mastermind.
00:45:37Don't stop it.
00:45:37The traitor in our midst.
00:45:39You!
00:45:39You!
00:45:40Oh, Simon, you are so funny.
00:45:47Oh, my dear.
00:45:51Will you excuse me for one moment, Simon?
00:46:06Sir.
00:46:07Tucker, can't this wait?
00:46:09Sir, it's Ambrose.
00:46:11Yes, I know it's Ambrose.
00:46:11Sir, nothing did it with him.
00:46:12No, he's the third man in Vortex.
00:46:17Simon Ambrose?
00:46:19He went to Eton.
00:46:23Ah, Simon.
00:46:25Leave it.
00:46:29Move.
00:46:30Come on, move.
00:46:32Tucker.
00:46:34You said you never knew Karlenko.
00:46:37That's right.
00:46:38Then how do you explain these?
00:46:40I had some to Karlenko's computer.
00:46:42You and him in Mozambique?
00:46:46Not at all.
00:46:52Yeah.
00:46:54All right.
00:47:02Yeah.
00:47:10Sometimes I have trouble myself, oh boy.
00:47:30You're Vortex. You're a third man in Vortex.
00:47:33Tucker, this is ridiculous. Sorry, I'll be with you in just a tick.
00:47:37It's true. I was in Mozambique.
00:47:39What?
00:47:40I was there because of Patch Quartermain.
00:47:44Patch? Sorry, I'll just be one second.
00:47:47He's the man you're after.
00:47:50You're bluffing.
00:47:52Sorry.
00:47:52I work for a secret organisation inside MI7 set up specifically to bring him in.
00:47:59A secret, secret service?
00:48:01Oh, yeah, what's it called?
00:48:03What's it called?
00:48:07Armitage.
00:48:09A secret, secret, secret service called Armitage.
00:48:12We answer only to the PM.
00:48:17It's extraordinary, Simon.
00:48:19Indeed it is.
00:48:20That you'd think for one moment that I would fall for such a steaming pile of old baloney.
00:48:29Well done, Tucker. You're not spy of the month for nothing.
00:48:32Thank you, sir.
00:48:33Here, let me take that.
00:48:35Now go home.
00:48:37What?
00:48:38You're the one talking baloney.
00:48:40You're in way over your head, boy.
00:48:42Now run along.
00:48:43No, I won't go, sir.
00:48:45He's lying.
00:48:45You've let me down, you've let the service down, and frankly, I think you've let yourself down.
00:48:51Well, I...
00:48:52Now get out.
00:48:58Patch Quartermain, of all people, blowing his own legs off.
00:49:03Now that's what I call deep cover.
00:49:05And to think how much I admired him.
00:49:08He hates you.
00:49:09Really?
00:49:10He always has.
00:49:11He thinks you're a moron with no place in MI7.
00:49:14A jumped-up grammar school nobody.
00:49:17That's why he tried to destroy you.
00:49:21Now, Johnny.
00:49:23Just because he ruined your life, that's no reason for you to go rogue and take him down on your
00:49:27own.
00:49:29God forbid I should put a crazy idea like that in your head.
00:49:35Good night, sir.
00:49:38Oh, Johnny.
00:49:39That key you showed me.
00:49:41You might need it to bring him in.
00:49:47Thank you very much, sir.
00:49:51Silly tit.
00:49:57Bingo.
00:50:00We need a meeting with our clan.
00:50:02Of course.
00:50:14Pegasus.
00:50:17We have the third man.
00:50:21It's Johnny English.
00:50:33Hello, Patch.
00:50:35Looking for forgiveness.
00:50:39It's all over for you now, Ingrid.
00:50:42It's the end of the line.
00:50:44Yes, you'd like that, wouldn't you, Patch?
00:50:46After all, I'm just a jumped-up grammar school nobody, aren't I?
00:50:51What are you talking about?
00:50:53I know that you are the third man in Vortex.
00:51:02No, Johnny.
00:51:04You are.
00:51:05No, you are.
00:51:07No, you are.
00:51:10Stand by all agents.
00:51:12And it all ends here.
00:51:19Take him.
00:51:36I...
00:51:38Johnny.
00:51:39Hey.
00:51:39No, he's gone.
00:51:40Wait for it.
00:51:42I love you.
00:51:44I love you.
00:51:47I love you.
00:51:47Yes, sir.
00:52:00Johnny.
00:52:13Hey, watch him!
00:52:16Got him!
00:52:18Move!
00:52:18Move!
00:52:20Don't lose him.
00:52:21Go, go!
00:52:25After him!
00:52:35Heading west into Bond Street.
00:52:37Mobilise all vehicles.
00:52:54Not even though he's doing so.
00:52:55How about I'm going to get into the top?
00:52:56I'm going to get into a tank!
00:52:57Maybe?
00:52:57No, no, no!
00:52:59One of those things…
00:53:00I'm gonna get into the tank too.
00:53:01What did you want me to do about it?
00:53:02Oh my God.
00:53:03I'm going to get into the tank.
00:53:03I'm going to use the tank too.
00:53:04No, you're gonna need to go.
00:53:05I'll get into the tank too.
00:53:06If you're not getting inside.
00:53:07If you did, go the next tank too.
00:53:21You've lost him. I don't believe it.
00:53:37Oi! Who do you think you are?
00:53:41Oh!
00:54:13Gocha!
00:54:14Gocha!
00:54:41Gocha!
00:54:44Agent English, pull over! Pull over!
00:54:47Pull over!
00:54:50Pull over!
00:54:51Pull over!
00:54:58Come on!
00:55:00Come on!
00:55:02Come on!
00:55:03Go!
00:55:03Go!
00:55:12Stop it! Stop it!
00:55:16Get after him!
00:55:35Kate, Kate, I'm not Vortex. I've been framed. You must believe me.
00:56:06How will it be done?
00:56:11Same as in Mozambique. One person apparently working alone.
00:56:16Where have you chosen? Leave that with me.
00:56:23My account in Zurich. Five hundred million US dollars, as agreed.
00:56:42You've been out for hours.
00:56:54Ah! You're lucky it was just a flesh wound.
00:56:57Now look, I'm going to Switzerland tonight, but you can stay here while I'm gone.
00:57:03I've been going through the news footage from the night Sean Barr was killed.
00:57:08And there's something not right.
00:57:10Seconds after President Sean Barr was shot, the assassin collapses and dies.
00:57:14And the autopsy says heart failure.
00:57:18But, if you go through the classified CCTV footage...
00:57:25You alright?
00:57:27Yeah, fine.
00:57:29Take a look at this.
00:57:32Fifteen minutes before the assassination.
00:57:35Look, he's manic.
00:57:37He's completely lost control of his body.
00:57:40And then, suddenly, catatonic.
00:57:44Here? Wait.
00:57:47There.
00:57:49Someone was talking to him.
00:57:54I don't think he had any idea what he was doing.
00:57:58I think Vortex's secret weapon...
00:58:01Is a mind control drug.
00:58:04And only one fits the symptoms.
00:58:09Tamox...
00:58:10Tamox...
00:58:11Tamoxaline...
00:58:12Tamoxaline...
00:58:14The CIA ordered its destruction ten years ago.
00:58:17And the agent in charge of its disposal...
00:58:21Titus Fisher.
00:58:23Here.
00:58:27I don't know how to thank you.
00:58:30I'd love a take-all.
00:58:33Consider it done.
00:58:37Flying low.
00:58:47So, Johnny, what are you going to do about Vortex?
00:58:51I don't know.
00:58:53If only Simon was here, he'd know what to do.
00:58:56Why do you think he's better than you?
00:58:58Well, a man's a god.
00:59:01Well, I prefer mortals.
00:59:04Pure, complicated, maddening mortals.
00:59:09I've come to realize that what's really exciting to me...
00:59:12Is great loyalty.
00:59:14Determination.
00:59:16Courage.
00:59:18You have always fascinated me.
00:59:20Clinically.
00:59:22But now...
00:59:26Miss Sumner...
00:59:28Your pupils are dilating.
00:59:31Are they?
00:59:33Your cheeks are colouring.
00:59:37Eye contact is deepening.
00:59:39Heart rate rising.
00:59:43Miss Sumner...
00:59:44I believe we're emotionally...
00:59:47leaking.
00:59:51The bedroom, quickly.
00:59:53Absolutely.
00:59:55Now.
01:00:04Hello?
01:00:05Hello?
01:00:06Oh, Simon.
01:00:07Hi, Kate.
01:00:08Are you ready?
01:00:09Oh, how nice.
01:00:12I'll just get my bag.
01:00:18You alone?
01:00:19Of course.
01:00:21Been working.
01:00:22Been brushing up on the Chinese PM.
01:00:25You?
01:00:25We're trying to track down Johnny English.
01:00:31There's some questions we want to ask him.
01:00:33About Vortex.
01:00:35Don't suppose you've seen him, have you?
01:00:37No.
01:00:38Not hiding him away?
01:00:41Not my type.
01:00:43Shall we?
01:00:44Mm-hmm.
01:01:01Mm-hmm.
01:01:04Mm-hmm.
01:01:23Ambrose.
01:01:47Ambrose.
01:02:08Come on.
01:02:10Come on.
01:02:17Whoa!
01:02:19Whoa!
01:02:23Whoa!
01:02:25Whoa!
01:02:27Whoa!
01:02:52There's a Mr. Adams to see you calling.
01:02:56Hello Tucker.
01:02:57What are you doing here?
01:02:59Every agent in the country is after you.
01:03:01We were right about Ambrose.
01:03:04What do you mean we?
01:03:05If we can act fast, we can still-
01:03:06You wouldn't listen, would you?
01:03:08You think you know it all, well you don't.
01:03:11Being an agent means everything to me.
01:03:13And thanks to you, I'm suspended.
01:03:17Would you boys like some more squash?
01:03:19I think so.
01:03:23Tucker, Ambrose is in Switzerland.
01:03:26We are in duty.
01:03:28I am here because my country needs me.
01:03:33And because it needs you, too.
01:03:38And because it needs you, too.
01:04:03Um...
01:04:04Obstruction detected.
01:04:10Um...
01:04:15Um...
01:04:16Um...
01:04:22Um...
01:04:23Let's get out for Switzerland, let's kick some bottom.
01:04:57You have arrived at your destination.
01:05:00Good luck, sir.
01:05:10Le Bastion.
01:05:12One way up, one way down.
01:05:18Come on, let's get the stuff.
01:05:24Whoa, look, the T2 ground-to-air missile.
01:05:29That's a D7 bulletproof shield.
01:05:32Take it from me, Taka.
01:05:33I was working with these while you were swinging conkers.
01:06:04The P8. Grab a hook.
01:06:06Check.
01:06:07Estimated height.
01:06:0835 feet.
01:06:09All yours, Taka.
01:06:11Can I just say, sir, this is just great.
01:06:18Well, go on.
01:06:27The D16 ascender and up we go.
01:06:31Are you sure that's the ascender, sir?
01:06:32Yes, yes.
01:06:33I know it anywhere.
01:06:34Agent in distress.
01:06:36Agent in distress.
01:06:46Agent in distress.
01:06:48Agent in distress.
01:06:50Agent in distress.
01:06:52I am over here.
01:06:54Shut up.
01:06:55Shut up.
01:06:56I am over here.
01:06:57Got him.
01:06:59I am over here.
01:07:06Activating visual locator.
01:07:09Three.
01:07:10Two.
01:07:11One.
01:07:14DEBANAH!
01:07:16Resisting facility.
01:07:17Let me see him!
01:07:19Intruder's Insectophore!
01:07:21I drink an Insectophore!
01:07:24Oh, dear God, let me not die in the hands of the Swiss.
01:07:31Tucker, now listen.
01:07:33I want you to attack me.
01:07:35After a struggle, you can arrest me
01:07:37and take me inside as your prisoner.
01:07:39Sir, I can't.
01:07:40Tucker, that's an order.
01:07:43Hit me.
01:07:47Come on, harder.
01:07:49That's it, sir?
01:07:54See how people get the taste for this.
01:07:58I've got a better idea. I'll shoot you.
01:08:01No, no, no.
01:08:02Die, Vortex Scum!
01:08:04Tucker!
01:08:06Hey!
01:08:10Payton Tucker!
01:08:14It's Johnny English.
01:08:18Back in.
01:08:35Glass can withstand mortar attack.
01:08:37The door's one way. You can get out, but no one gets in.
01:08:40Excellent.
01:08:46You ready, Slater?
01:08:54I'll, er, have them send refreshments to your room when you're ready, Beggasus.
01:08:57Thank you, everyone.
01:09:07I'll take it from here, boys.
01:09:12I'll be right there.
01:09:15Let me see your ID.
01:09:18Um...
01:09:18Excuse me.
01:09:19What the...?
01:09:22Stop!
01:09:25Warning.
01:09:26This is a designated conflict zone.
01:09:28Stop!
01:09:30Ah!
01:09:32There.
01:09:36Sir?
01:09:37Sir?
01:09:53Oh!
01:09:54Oh!
01:09:55Oh!
01:09:55Thank you so much.
01:09:56You're welcome, Beggasus.
01:09:58Pegasus.
01:10:07Go on.
01:10:09Go on.
01:10:12Go on.
01:10:18What the hell is that?
01:10:25Sir?
01:10:27Sir?
01:10:31English!
01:10:32English!
01:10:32Pegasus!
01:10:33They're going to make you kill Xiangping!
01:10:36You're insane!
01:10:4081, thank God!
01:10:42He won't help you.
01:10:44He's the third member of Vortex, aren't you, Simon?
01:10:51Here's to give you some Tmoxibub rack.
01:10:55Tmoxibub rack.
01:10:56Beb…
01:10:56Beb…
01:10:57Beb…
01:10:58Beb…
01:10:58Beb…
01:10:59Beb…
01:11:01Beb…
01:11:02To give you a drug
01:11:05that'll make you obey his every command.
01:11:15I'm intrigued, Simon.
01:11:18How exactly were you going to administer it?
01:11:26By injection?
01:11:33Some hideous gas through the air vents?
01:11:42Or by spiking head drink.
01:11:47Tamoxilin barbabutinol.
01:11:54I'll enter the manic phase any moment now.
01:11:59I have to warn you that I've been trained to resist this kind of thing.
01:12:06You swine!
01:12:08Agent 1, what's going on?
01:12:09Oh, he's quite harmless at this phase.
01:12:11The drug will kill him, but just before it does, there'll be a short window where he'll do everything I
01:12:16tell him to.
01:12:25Poor Johnny.
01:12:27You were never really MI7, Johnny. You were never really one of us.
01:12:30And now you're about to become our most famous agent.
01:12:41You'll now do exactly as I tell you.
01:12:45You are a traitor to the service and to your country.
01:12:47Shut her up, old chap.
01:12:50Duck.
01:12:51What?
01:12:55I warned you.
01:12:57Okay, Slater. Let's get him ready.
01:13:02Ready.
01:13:04Premier Ping, it's a pleasure to finally meet you.
01:13:07You had a pleasant flight, I trust?
01:13:10I was just asking...
01:13:11I mean, if he had a pleasant flight...
01:13:15Okay.
01:13:16Johnny's back on the team.
01:13:18What?
01:13:19It's all checked out in the PM when the Chinese have approved it.
01:13:21Approved what?
01:13:22He's standing in for Pamela.
01:13:23Isn't it great?
01:13:34Excuse me.
01:13:37Agent...
01:13:37Tucker.
01:13:43Good.
01:13:44Good.
01:13:45And your wife is as well?
01:13:49Lock it up, Johnny.
01:13:52Wonderful.
01:13:53Wonderful.
01:13:54Please.
01:13:55That's it.
01:14:05Premier, I am most grateful you have agreed to meet me at this time.
01:14:10It is our pleasure.
01:14:17I can assure you that the Chinese people have always regarded the British people as completely horrible.
01:14:31Honourable.
01:14:32Honourable.
01:14:33Completely honourable.
01:14:37Of course.
01:14:39I was very keen to meet...
01:14:59Johnny, stand up and go to the water table.
01:15:03Oh.
01:15:07Premier, I believe the present danger can be averted if we act swift.
01:15:11Go to your right pocket.
01:15:16We designed it for Pegasus.
01:15:18Well, it's too bloody late now.
01:15:24Just act natural.
01:15:29One.
01:15:30One.
01:15:31One.
01:15:34One.
01:15:37One.
01:15:37One.
01:15:38Prime Minister.
01:15:39Something's wrong.
01:15:40China does not spunk well to advise-
01:15:43Pull out the barrel.
01:15:44One.
01:15:45One.
01:15:46Now, Johnny, I want you to kill Shang-Ping.
01:15:52Oh, dear God, no.
01:15:57He's being controlled.
01:15:58By whom?
01:16:00Ambrose.
01:16:02Shoot Shang-Ping.
01:16:07The mind must be most of the body.
01:16:15He's resisting it.
01:16:18His left hand is fighting the right hand.
01:16:25Come on, Johnny.
01:16:27If I could interrupt the frequency, I could stop Ambrose from communicating with him.
01:16:47English, stand up.
01:16:58Come on, come on.
01:17:02We'll be dead in 50 seconds, huh?
01:17:07Tucker!
01:17:08Come on.
01:17:11Pull the trigger.
01:17:12I'm in.
01:17:32Listen to me.
01:17:33This is Simon Ambrose, and I order you to shoot Shang-Ping.
01:17:36Huh?
01:17:40Ten seconds, sir.
01:17:43Fire!
01:17:54Go, go, go.
01:17:56Time to get out of here.
01:18:02Hold your fire!
01:18:04Stand down!
01:18:05Come on.
01:18:29This palace is dropping.
01:18:30Don't lose him.
01:18:31Carter.
01:18:32You, sir.
01:19:01You're not.
01:19:13Open your heart, English, and you shall be reborn.
01:19:30Almost there.
01:19:58Thank you, Kate.
01:20:00I was passing.
01:20:02Sir.
01:20:03Tucker.
01:20:06Welcome back, sir.
01:20:08Thank you, Tucker.
01:20:09I won't kiss you if you don't mind.
01:20:10Well, whatever.
01:20:15Where's Ambrose?
01:20:27English?
01:20:29Sir?
01:20:30What are you doing, sir?
01:20:31Guideline 17-5.
01:20:33Never question a senior agent in the field.
01:20:35No!
01:20:36No!
01:20:37No!
01:20:39No!
01:20:40No!
01:20:41No!
01:20:42No!
01:20:42No!
01:20:42No!
01:20:43No!
01:20:44No!
01:20:44No!
01:20:45No!
01:20:46No!
01:20:47No!
01:20:48No!
01:20:50No!
01:20:51I don't know.
01:21:42I don't know.
01:22:10Rose, you five-star turd.
01:22:36Another ball's up, Johnny.
01:22:48What's the matter with you?
01:23:12It's all over, Ambrose.
01:23:15You can betray your country, you can cheat your friends.
01:23:19But you can't get away from Johnny.
01:23:38So long, Johnny!
01:23:45The D7.
01:23:47The bulletproof shield.
01:23:52It's not working.
01:23:54It's the T2, sir.
01:23:56It's the T2!
01:23:59Close it!
01:24:00Close it!
01:24:01Stupid thing!
01:24:14Oh, Johnny!
01:24:20The T2.
01:24:26Tucker.
01:24:28You clever boy.
01:24:48I couldn't be more delighted.
01:24:50Vortex's paymasters have been arrested and China has expressed its gratitude to both Britain and the service.
01:24:57We owe English a great deal.
01:25:03Reinstating his knighthood is a truly lovely gesture.
01:25:05And it'll mean the world to him.
01:25:09Her Majesty will be with him shortly.
01:25:11He partial Marion.
01:25:12He's calling melak.
01:25:16He's m poor.
01:25:17Johnny.
01:25:45I don't know what to do.
01:25:51Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
01:25:52Ahhhh!
01:25:53Ahhhh!
01:26:00Gotcha!
01:26:06Gotcha!
01:26:08Ahhhh!
01:26:08Ahhhh!
01:26:09Ahhhh!
01:26:10I've just about had enough of you, you old cow!
01:26:14No!
01:26:14No one!
01:26:15Ahhhh!
01:26:16Pegasus!
01:26:17English!
01:26:18It's her!
01:26:18It's the killer cleaner!
01:26:20Finally I've got her!
01:26:24You never know when it's out, do you?
01:26:27Whoa!
01:26:28It's over!
01:26:28Over!
01:26:29Over!
01:26:30Over!
01:26:31Over!
01:26:32Over!
01:26:32Over!
01:26:34Over!
01:26:35Over!
01:26:35Over!
01:26:35Over!
01:26:35Over!
01:26:35Over! Over!
01:26:35Over!
01:26:36Over!