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00:00I love you
00:39I love you
01:00It's Denise Fox
01:04You've been waiting for my call
01:07Homework please
01:09Forcing it out of Denise
01:12In the middle of the flicking part of the kiss
01:13I wouldn't have done it if I
01:15Sit
01:16Breathe
01:19I'll put the kit on
01:24I can message Amy if you want
01:26Maybe we could all go over in a little bit
01:29Kim
01:30Jordan got hurt
01:33So Denise felt
01:34She had to put her treatment off
01:38Hold on
01:38You knew
01:41You should have told me, Yolandi
01:44I know
01:46I mean
01:47Well I'm telling you, Libby
01:48I'm telling you now
02:07Okay, look
02:08Denise has got acute myeloid leukemia
02:12Okay, it's an aggressive blood cancer
02:15Starts in the bone marrow
02:17Is that why you've been so knackered?
02:20Yes
02:23And that they want her to start chemotherapy
02:25Okay
02:26Okay, good
02:29Doctor sorted my mum out
02:30This is an inpatient note
02:32It's going to be for a month
02:35It's starting tomorrow
02:37What?
02:38So you're going to have to stay at the hospital
02:40Nights and all
02:41That's nearly half the summer holidays
02:43Consultant says it's urgent, mate
02:45Oh my god
02:47Are you going to die?
02:50Oh, so you decided to join us then, did you?
02:52Have you washed your hands?
02:56No
02:57No
02:58I am not
02:59Come here
03:01I am going to be around for a very, very long time
03:06That is a promise
03:08Okay?
03:09Okay
03:11Look, hospital is nothing
03:13It's just lying there
03:14While they give you some medicine
03:16What I'm more bothered about
03:18Is you lot staying on top of things
03:20While I'm out of action
03:21Like having a shower every day, Raymond
03:23Yes
03:25And not ruining me carpets with your hockey boots
03:27And not lying in the bed
03:30For the next four weeks
03:30Steering at your phone
03:32We were going to start yoga, weren't we?
03:35And you promised me
03:36That you were going to sort through that wardrobe
03:37I'll do it
03:38I'll start leaving my hockey boots at the back door
03:41Yes
03:41You will
03:42You're all going to have to step it up a bit
03:45So
03:46I'm setting up a rota
03:48And I've made you a list of chores
03:50Every day
03:51Is it like them star charts she used to give me as a kid?
03:54She tried to do that with me and Libby
03:56Ah, no, though
03:58Because this one is on your phones
04:00So no one can accidentally
04:02Add half a dozen stars on there, Ricky
04:06Because it'll be shared
04:07And I'll be watching you
04:09Now, you all need to download the app
04:11I'll be sticking it on your iPad
04:13Highest number of ticks wins a prize
04:15What's the prize?
04:17Ah, that's a secret
04:18But it'd be something brilliant
04:20And you don't even stand a chance
04:21If you don't know how to work the washing machine
04:24Jack
04:26What?
04:27Come on
04:28You shrink every jumper that you touch, don't you?
04:31I ain't got a pair of knickers, he hasn't turned pink
04:33You've never checked a pocket for a tissue in your life
04:35Oh
04:36Oh, right
04:37Okay
04:39Fine
04:43Okay, so come on
04:44Let's make a start on these
04:45While we wait for the spaghetti
04:46Come on
04:47An Anami scan
04:49Could have helped us plan
04:52That is it
04:53That is the only thing I would have said
04:56If you'd given me a chance, Ben
04:59Sorry
05:01I'm sorry
05:01Okay
05:03And you're right
05:04And you are so lovely
05:07And I'm sorry
05:10I think I'm just
05:12It's just the woman's
05:13And I'm just worried about Denise
05:15I think
05:16And my dad
05:16And
05:17Yeah, well
05:17I don't know
05:18I said the only thing I thought
05:21I want to be there for you
05:24Both of you
05:26Not just part-time
05:30Live with me
05:31Just us
05:33Us three
05:35Our family
05:39How do you fancy moving in together, Penny?
05:48Can we get a tickly visit?
05:50Depends if there's chocolate
05:51Yeah?
05:55Look, I know that I've had more time with this
05:59And this has come as a bit of a shock
06:01But we're all right
06:04Okay?
06:05We're all all right
06:06You don't need to worry about us
06:09We're all pulled together, won't we?
06:11Good
06:13Bath, bed
06:15No arguments
06:16Come on
06:17Teeth, teeth, teeth
06:18You pack your PE kit
06:20And if your phone needs charging
06:22Kitchen, please
06:25Come on, life goes on
06:26We've all got school in the morning
06:31You've done good
06:33We need to
06:34You don't have to do this tonight
06:37Yes, I do
06:39It's a risk of infection
06:41And all that
06:44Can you
06:46Warn the kids?
06:47Yeah
07:14Chelsea let me in
07:17Sorry, they're a bad time
07:19I'd better
07:22Yeah, don't wake up, okay?
07:30It's all right to hear
07:38I might want to talk
07:43I'm pretty sure the football's on
07:48Highlights at least
07:58I'm glad that you texted
08:02Well, I've got everything
08:04Set up
08:05If you
08:08Thanks, just
08:11Give me a minute
08:13Okay
08:14Okay
08:15Okay, I'm sorry
08:18I'm so sorry, Denise
08:22Don't be nice to me
08:23Okay?
08:26Okay, I can
08:27I can do that
08:33I just can't believe this is happening, Kim
08:37It's like I want to wake up
08:40I can't stop looking online
08:41I can't go down rabbit holes
08:45So I go
08:46Into the hospital with cancer
08:51And then they lower my immune system
08:54Which
08:55That's standard
08:58But it just doesn't seem to make logical sense
09:02Because it just all seems so
09:06Brutal
09:08I know
09:12But
09:13You can't
09:14You know, you can't always trust everything that you read on
09:17The internet, you know
09:19You keep thinking
09:21I know what the plan is
09:25And Jackie just keeps pushing, pushing
09:30But it's not his life
09:33It's my life
09:37There's still time
09:39I could change my mind
09:42I
09:46I don't have to do this
09:48Do I?
09:52So
09:53I told Denise, you know
09:54If you
09:55We need any help
09:56You know, picking up Ramis
09:58From school
09:58That sort of thing
09:59I'm just saying, you know
10:01I'm a bat
10:03I appreciate it
10:07Come in
10:09She ain't doing anything
10:12I don't
10:13Feel that bad now, though
10:15I don't want to feel worse
10:19And bald
10:23Not even me eyelashes
10:25I don't care
10:26If that sounds vain
10:28Because
10:30This
10:32It
10:33It's
10:36Well, it's the first step, isn't it?
10:42I don't want to lose all my hair, Kim
10:45Do you know how much
10:47That might freak Raymond out?
10:51And Jack
10:54What if he can't stand the sight?
11:01Well, you ain't done the menopause yet
11:04Trust me
11:06Hard enough to keep the spark
11:09D
11:09And throwing up
11:15What if I just don't go
11:18Just
11:19Like
11:20Stay
11:22Home
11:26Because no one
11:28Knows when they're going to go
11:29Do they?
11:30Where's the difference?
11:34Yes
11:36We can
11:37We could
11:39It's your choice
11:44I have to do the best, Kim
11:53And the kids
11:55I don't know what best it is
12:02I'm only 57
12:05There's so many things I haven't done yet
12:07I don't know
12:09I've never tried
12:12No, I don't want to do this
12:18I feel like
12:21I'm standing
12:22At the edge of a cliff
12:26Just so
12:31Hopeless
12:35What if I go into the hospital
12:38And never come back out?
12:42Hmm?
12:48I promise right
12:50I could die
12:59Couldn't I?
13:13I'm so scared
13:16I'm so scared
13:19I'm so scared
13:20I'm so scared
13:23I'm so scared
13:23I'm so scared
13:25I'm so scared
13:26I'm so scared
13:30You're allowed to be
13:33And so am I
13:36But listen
13:39I need you to know
13:42You can always tell me the truth
13:45And I will always be honest with you
13:49Okay?
13:53This
13:54This is a wobble
13:56Dee
13:58And you can put it off
14:00You can put it off if you want
14:02All that you want
14:05But you know you don't really have a choice
14:10You have to trust your consultant
14:14Okay?
14:16And I promise you
14:19I will buy you the most beautiful head wraps there is
14:23Yeah?
14:24And you will be known as the Nubian Queen of Walford
14:27Yeah?
14:30And then
14:31I don't know
14:32We can do something together
14:34You know
14:35We can
14:35I don't know
14:36Learn
14:36Learn French
14:38And go to France
14:40And see the Monet
14:44But if you don't want to be helpless
14:47You have to do what they tell you to do
14:52You have to
14:57And I know that
15:00You're the one that's going through this
15:03But trust me
15:07You're not alone
15:12You're not alone sis
15:20And I promise you
15:23If anything
15:26If anything
15:31I promise you
15:32If anything
15:34I will be a mum
15:36To your kids
15:38I promise you
15:42Well if that ain't motivation to get better
15:44I don't know what is
15:46You are so rude
15:48A bag out of water
15:51You're rude
15:55Okay
15:58Ready?
15:59Mm-hmm
16:02Okay
16:03We've got this now
16:03Okay
16:15Okay
16:27I don't want a big fuss
16:28I don't want anyone
16:34Wait for me off
16:51I know people
16:54Just try to be kind
16:56Just try to be kind
17:03Don't want any pity and glances
17:05Or
17:07Anything like that
17:26Hard enough for getting me own head round?
17:34You are beautiful mum
17:38You are beautiful mum
17:47Yeah
17:50Have you seen this new picture Raymond's done?
18:07So are you going to be okay getting the kids off to school this morning?
18:10It's just I know you've got a lot on your plate with Jordan
18:12I'm fine
18:14I've got this
18:15And if Jordan needs extra physio then
18:18I'll do more shifts and get more cash
18:36Mum
18:37No way
18:38Come in
18:40Come in
18:42You're in there, eh?
18:43What is
18:44I'm going to be long now
18:46Oh
18:48Yeah, you just called us
18:49Oh God
18:50He came as soon as I heard
18:52Oh
18:53But you didn't have to do that
18:55Not with your job
18:55And everything
18:56I'm here for as long as you need me mum
18:58Day
18:59Yeah
19:00Yeah
19:00Will you, um
19:01Will you come first thing in the morning?
19:06Oh my squiggle
19:08Oh
19:09You say I feel better already just having you at home
19:14Oh
19:16But you are part of this family now
19:18Your land is all over the place
19:19I just don't know what I'm supposed to say to her
19:21Maybe I'll get her some flowers or something
19:24Just
19:26Don't want to get in the way
19:30No
19:30No, but you know what this text means
19:34Negative
19:35That means Lauren can stop washing the towels every five minutes
19:38Clear, Peter
19:38NHS confirmation
19:39That means nothing creeping
19:40Growing on
19:42Or rotting the crown jewels
19:43You're an absolute catcher
19:45And you
19:45Yes
19:45Yes
19:46That's very astute of you to notice
19:48And I'm not a super spreader
19:50Spread the word
19:51We're the last stop
19:52The last stop
19:52The last stop
19:53The last stop
20:34just saying you could have told me if you thought mum was ill yes yes only I didn't so I
20:40couldn't
20:40but you could have come home more than once if I hadn't checked for yourself I have what yes we
20:45know you are very busy you have a CBT event and you're working late and you're the only one who
20:49can deliver this very important project I know I do my best and now that I have Jordan and I
20:55haven't
20:57why is it that 10 minutes back here and I'm already feeling like I can't breathe
21:02people grow up they move on and move out and it doesn't seem to matter how much I have done
21:09I am straight back here and straight into being treated like I'm seven years old that's not what
21:13I'm not like you or mum or auntie Kim and you know I am really grateful for you giving up
21:19your bed but
21:20long-term option I don't want to be sleeping on mum's sofa and no not because I'm a snob
21:25because it rips my neck can you just stop stop
21:29my son is in hospital and he might never walk again and now mum has left and yeah okay I
21:46should
21:47have noticed that she is sick and I never and I know that this is really really selfish I but
21:58I can't
22:23so use the bell you don't worry about bothering anyone if something feels
22:28off you press the bell
22:38I'm going to be honest with you the next four weeks are going to be extremely difficult
22:44this ward will become your life the chemotherapy we're starting is deliberately harsh it has to be
22:54it will destroy your bone marrow completely you'll have no immune system at all
23:01so a sore throat a mouth ulcer a little cut
23:06sort of things you normally ignore could become very serious very quickly
23:13you will be isolated visitors will be restricted
23:19staff will be coming in and out at all hours we will try to give you time to rest but
23:25it can be
23:27relentless you will almost certainly require repeated blood and platelet transfusions
23:36bleeding and bruising common infection is expected it's not unusual
23:43some patients end up in intensive care that's not inevitable but I do have to warn you
23:54we are putting you through this Denise because it's your best chance of a cure
24:08so you feel unwell or frightened or something simply doesn't feel right
24:15ring the bell I got it can we start please
24:23from now I will help I've got some savings not much no Libby you do not want to be taking
24:29out
24:30loans and how are you going to have the time to do more shifts Jordan does need a wheelchair
24:35when he gets out and you're going to want the best and Patrick's bedroom will need to be set up
24:39all of that's gonna cost money gels gels okay fine mum's had me set up that star chart thing so
24:51I'll just put a message in there maybe somebody will know what the big secret is
25:05I've got these letters from Grey's family to Jordan but I have I've shoved them in a baby box
25:17but they've been coming to the old house since he was born Nicola's been passing them over
25:26I think they're from Grey's nan I've only opened one just one it's a birthday card you know what
25:38Jordan can have the lot when he's 18 and he's old enough okay the card had a check-in
25:47for a grand
25:50no no please don't say it because honestly I can't and I have not told anyone Libby and I know
25:57I know what a thousand pounds could do even more now and I know that Jordan needs it and
26:02I know that there is blood but I I still get flashbacks
26:07I I can't have that man know anything about my son not even indirectly because Grey is evil Libby
26:17and I have to protect Jordan I I have to protect him don't I
26:25minute hello yes yes yes it's Chelsea Fox is Jordan awake
26:33uh no no no yes no I'll I'll grab a pen I'll grab a pen um has his test results
26:38come back yet
26:40thank you
26:56thank you
27:27You might be a bit cold.
27:28That's normal.
27:30Just let me know if anything is sharp or sore.
27:33If it stings, tell me straight away.
27:36Okay?
27:51You're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing.
27:53Just breathe normally.
27:55You don't need to brace.
27:59I'll warn you, the pump beeps for no reason other than to make people jump.
28:04Okay.
28:05Good.
28:06I'll check back in 15.
28:09When, erm, when will I fail it?
28:13Day one's usually the easy day.
28:14Quiet part.
28:15It's a marathon, not a sprint.
28:17I think the drugs are just getting started.
28:20Is that your family?
28:23Sweet.
28:24Oh my God.
28:39Bye.
28:39Bye.
28:39Bye-bye.