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00:04:01¿Cómo te dicen?
00:04:32A woman's a two-faced
00:04:34A worrisome thing
00:04:35Won't leave you to sing the blues
00:04:39In the night
00:04:41Now the rains are falling
00:04:43Now the trains are calling
00:04:45A hooey to hooey
00:04:47Sure, that's a lot of hooey
00:04:48I heard a train whistle, see?
00:04:49So I blew town
00:04:50Then I met up with the rat
00:04:51That started me on the road with the crime
00:04:52Fish-eye Louie
00:04:53I wanted to kill him
00:04:54I grabbed him by the chute
00:04:55I squeezed and squeezed
00:04:57I wanted to pay him back
00:04:58For making me an outlaw
00:04:59Shunned by society
00:05:00A stinker
00:05:01Let go
00:05:02But he got away
00:05:03From Natchez to Sing Sing
00:05:06From Memphis to Alcatraz
00:05:08Wherever the rock piles grow
00:05:13I've been in the best jails
00:05:15Why, sure
00:05:16I've seen me the best frails
00:05:17And then just like my mama
00:05:19Don't tell me
00:05:19I met a two-faced woman
00:05:21Two-kiss of Bessie was her name
00:05:22Ah, they was handy
00:05:24Those two faces
00:05:24She could crack a safe
00:05:26And look out for the cops
00:05:26At the same time
00:05:27She was nuts about me
00:05:29Till she fell for another guy
00:05:30Fish-eye Louie
00:05:32I wanted to knock him off
00:05:33See
00:05:33So I went to his hideout
00:05:34And I broke down the door
00:05:36But he wasn't there
00:05:36So I waited for him
00:05:37I nabbed him
00:05:38I squeezed and squeezed
00:05:39I squeezed harder and harder
00:05:41Suddenly I hear the sirens
00:05:42Woo!
00:05:43The bulls!
00:05:44Somebody's tipped him off
00:05:45Somebody's squealed at the cops
00:05:46My mama don't told him
00:05:48My old lady
00:05:49A stool pigeon
00:05:51I'm trapped
00:05:52Trapped like a rat
00:05:53They're coming in on me
00:05:54They're getting closer
00:05:55Closer
00:05:55Brr-da-da-da-da-da-da
00:05:57Oh, they got me
00:05:57Oh, mama
00:05:59Mama, I gotta talk fast now
00:06:01You was right
00:06:03I've been in some big towns
00:06:06I heard me some big talk
00:06:07But, but there's one thing I know
00:06:10I can't die
00:06:12Till I get even with fish-eye
00:06:13Fish-eye
00:06:17A woman's a two-faced
00:06:19A worrisome thing
00:06:22Will leave you to sing
00:06:23A blue
00:06:26In the night
00:06:30Good, good, good
00:06:32Thank you, John Garfield
00:06:34Thank you very much
00:06:35And good night, John
00:06:39If you please, Cookie Fairchild
00:06:44Potatoes aren't cheaper
00:06:46Tomatoes aren't cheaper
00:06:47Now's the time to fall in love
00:06:51Why the butcher, the baker
00:06:53The candlestick maker
00:06:54Gave their price a downward shot
00:06:56Here we are
00:06:57Step right in the bus, folks
00:06:58We're leaving in a few minutes
00:06:59For an intimate glimpse
00:07:00At the homes of Hollywood's biggest movie stars
00:07:03It's the biggest 50-cent value in Hollywood
00:07:06Don't miss this opportunity, mister
00:07:08You can tell the folks back home
00:07:09You saw Betty Davis picking flowers in her own backyard
00:07:12There's a million thrills in Beverly Hills
00:07:15Take a glamorous trip through the Sunset Strip
00:07:18Come on, driver
00:07:19It's 25 after 5
00:07:20Just let me get two more suckers, will you?
00:07:23I mean, customers
00:07:23Just two more
00:07:24No waiting
00:07:25No delay
00:07:26We've even exactly
00:07:28You can still find someone
00:07:30Hey, Pete
00:07:32Will you please give me a break?
00:07:33It's tough enough without trying to outshout that guy
00:07:35Okay, okay
00:07:38Hiya, Pete
00:07:39Hiya, Mr. Butler
00:07:40You got a sporting news?
00:07:41Yes, sir
00:07:41How's it, Pete?
00:07:42Haven't seen you in quite a while, Mr. Hellinger
00:07:44Olivia de Havill and Alan Hale
00:07:46Step right this way
00:07:48You going to fights, Mark?
00:07:50Hello, Mr. Butler
00:07:50Oh, hello, Joe
00:07:52Say, what's that for?
00:07:53Have you given up acting?
00:07:54Oh, no, but
00:07:55Well, a fella's got to make a living between pictures, Mr. Butler
00:07:57Oh, I see
00:07:58Say, I understand that you're directing a picture over at Warner Brothers
00:08:01That's right, Joe
00:08:02You think there might be a little something in there that I can play?
00:08:05Well, here's the man to ask, Joe
00:08:06This is my producer, Mark Hellinger
00:08:08Joe Simpson
00:08:08Hello, Joe
00:08:09Mr. Hellinger
00:08:10You really ought to use me, Mr. Hellinger
00:08:12I've been reading your stories for years
00:08:14Well, that makes two of us, anyhow
00:08:15Tell you what you do, Joe
00:08:16Give me a ring at the studio some morning
00:08:18Would six o'clock be too early?
00:08:20I don't get in until nine
00:08:22I'll hold the wire
00:08:24See you later, Joe
00:08:26So long, Joe
00:08:28That's a funny little guy, Dave
00:08:29Clean him up when he's a ringer for Eddie Cantor
00:08:31That's his trouble, Mark
00:08:32I had him play a small part once in a great dramatic scene
00:08:35And the audience died laughing
00:08:36I had to shoot the whole thing over without him
00:08:39That's why nobody wants to use him
00:08:40Pretty rough deal
00:08:41Poor little guy can't get a break because he looks too much like a star
00:08:44Yeah
00:08:45That's a new way of becoming a failure
00:08:47Hiya, Pete
00:08:48Hiya, Tommy
00:08:49Cantor show?
00:08:50What time is it?
00:08:51About 527
00:08:52What's all the excitement about?
00:08:53Something big, Pete, big
00:08:55And when Tommy Randolph says big, it's big
00:08:59Say, this is too much
00:09:01Hey, what's the idea, Joe?
00:09:03Tommy, I thought you were a pal of mine
00:09:04You know I can't stand that Popeye baboon
00:09:07Why don't you relax?
00:09:08Aren't you imposing a little?
00:09:10Don't be impatient, folks
00:09:14How about it, sailor?
00:09:16Show the little lady all the homes of the movie stars
00:09:18I'm sorry, Mac
00:09:19I've only got an hour and I've got to get back to my ship
00:09:20What better way can you spend your last hour than a nice bus ride?
00:09:23Are you kidding?
00:09:25Listen, we've been here for two hours now
00:09:27When are you going?
00:09:28I hope you'll be listening again next Wednesday night
00:09:31Until then, ladies and gentlemen
00:09:33This is Eddie Cantor saying goodnight, everybody
00:09:36Come on, Mac
00:09:42I can think only on that Dinah Shore
00:09:44We must get her for the benefit
00:09:46When I am conducting her with my orchestra
00:09:49Oh boy, oh boy
00:09:50What effects I will get
00:09:52Orchestra and play
00:09:53No, no, no, no, no
00:09:54Come, we will talk to you
00:09:55Oh, here, here
00:09:56To Dinah Shore?
00:09:57Yeah
00:09:57Are you crazy?
00:09:58Why?
00:09:58That's not the way to get Dinah Shore
00:09:59If you want to get Dinah Shore, you don't talk to Dinah Shore
00:10:02If I want Dinah Shore, I don't talk to Dinah Shore
00:10:05No, no, no
00:10:06We talked to Eddie Cantor
00:10:08He's got her under exclusive contract
00:10:10That is, we should talk to Eddie Cantor
00:10:12But we won't
00:10:14Come on, break it up, boys
00:10:15You're double-pied
00:10:15Leave me alone
00:10:16We should talk to Cantor, but he won't
00:10:18No, because if we talk to Cantor now
00:10:19He'll want to be in the benefit
00:10:21That's bad
00:10:22Oh, we don't want him in the benefit
00:10:24We do want Dinah Shore
00:10:25However, if we talk to Cantor at the right time
00:10:28We may be able to get Dinah without Cantor
00:10:31You understand?
00:10:32No
00:10:34Pardon me
00:10:35Ah, fresh guy
00:10:36What's the matter with this?
00:10:38There you are
00:10:43All right, folks, let's have a little system here
00:10:45I know you want everybody's autographs
00:10:46So just go from one star to another
00:10:48This way, please
00:10:53Here you are, young man
00:10:54Can we go home now, Uncle Eddie?
00:10:56Yeah, shh, quiet
00:10:58Mr. Cantor
00:11:01Yeah?
00:11:01May I tell you that I feel you're one of the greatest artists in the world today?
00:11:04Oh, thank you
00:11:05Thank you very much
00:11:06I would feel highly complimented if you'd honor me with your autograph
00:11:08Have you got a pen?
00:11:10You're very happy indeed
00:11:11It's for a little boy
00:11:13That's all right
00:11:15Anything else I can do for you?
00:11:17No, thanks
00:11:17You've done more than enough already
00:11:18It's a pleasure, sir
00:11:19Come in again
00:11:33Oh, waste it, Tommy
00:11:34That all belongs to Eddie Cannon now
00:11:36Barney, you got it
00:11:37Got it?
00:11:38Listen, when Barney Jackson tells you he's gonna get you a contract
00:11:40You get a contract
00:11:41Yee-hey!
00:11:43Careful, careful, careful
00:11:44That ink's still wet
00:11:45Barney, you're a great agent
00:11:47How much do I get?
00:11:48A hundred bucks a week
00:11:49A hundred bucks?
00:11:50Oh, well, thanks anyway, pal
00:11:52I guess that's all right for a start
00:11:53Uh-uh, how about my commission?
00:11:54You know, sixty bucks in advance
00:11:55Oh, sure, sure
00:11:56This way till he hears me sing
00:11:57I'll bet he'd tear up that contract
00:11:58Give me twice the salary
00:12:00He doesn't know what you're giving him
00:12:01Not yet, but he'll find out
00:12:03Yeah, well, there's sixty bucks right there
00:12:05There's your contract
00:12:05And good luck, kid
00:12:06Thanks
00:12:08When does he want to see me?
00:12:09Oh, oh
00:12:09Well, you're supposed to report to Cantor's house tomorrow morning
00:12:11He's expecting you at eleven o'clock
00:12:13Okay
00:12:14And Barney, no matter how big a star I get to be
00:12:16I'll never forget you for this
00:12:17I know you won't
00:12:18So long, Barney
00:12:19So long, kid
00:12:29Mr. Jackson?
00:12:31Mr. Jackson?
00:12:32Wait a minute
00:12:33Mr. Jackson?
00:12:35Mr. Jackson?
00:12:36Well, hello there, Pat
00:12:37Hello
00:12:38Say, I was just upstairs in your office
00:12:39And all the furniture's gone
00:12:40Even the chair
00:12:41Say, what's going on around here?
00:12:43Didn't I tell you?
00:12:44I'm moving into a brand new suite of offices
00:12:45It's a gorgeous place
00:12:46Chromium carpets
00:12:47The chair is that thick
00:12:47Hmm, I see
00:12:48Well, what about Moondust?
00:12:50Moondust?
00:12:51Moondust
00:12:51Yes, that's my song, remember?
00:12:53You guaranteed to get it published in two weeks
00:12:55That was a month ago
00:12:56Oh, certainly
00:12:57I bet you thought I forgot all about it
00:12:58Well, look, honey
00:12:59Those things take a little time
00:12:59Arrangements, copyrights
00:13:01You understand?
00:13:02I think I do
00:13:02Give me back my fifty dollars, Mr. Jackson
00:13:05Now, just leave everything to me
00:13:06Barney Jackson never let a client down
00:13:07Well, listen here, Mr. Jackson
00:13:08I might be from a small town
00:13:09But I was not the village idiot
00:13:11I want my fifty dollars
00:13:12Just a minute, sister
00:13:12I want to give you a little tip
00:13:13Show business is all new to you
00:13:14You're still green
00:13:15You're still a novice
00:13:16Oh, maybe so
00:13:16You've got a lot to learn
00:13:17You've got to have grace
00:13:18You've got to have poise
00:13:18You've got to have self-assurance
00:13:19Well, what's that got to do with it?
00:13:21When you're trying to sell a song to somebody
00:13:22Don't let them know you're just a scared kid
00:13:23Just an amateur
00:13:24You've got to be professional
00:13:25Be aggressive
00:13:25Be egotistical, you understand?
00:13:27Well, sure
00:13:28Okay, there's fifty dollars worth of advice
00:13:29And now we're even
00:13:31So long, kid
00:13:32So long, Mr. Jackson
00:13:36Even?
00:13:39Union Depot, buddy
00:13:43Wait a minute
00:13:43He's not in there
00:13:48Follow that cab
00:13:50Yes, ma'am
00:13:56Hurry up, please
00:13:58Wait a minute
00:13:59What am I doing?
00:14:00This isn't a taxi
00:14:08Oh, I'm sorry, miss
00:14:09If there's anything I can do to help
00:14:11Come on, let's get going
00:14:12We want our money
00:14:14We've been stalling here
00:14:15For over two hours
00:14:16Come on, get going, will ya?
00:14:22We're now passing the homes
00:14:24Of some of our greatest stars
00:14:25On the left you'll see
00:14:26The residence of Walter Houston
00:14:28What kind of a song was that
00:14:29You said you wrote?
00:14:30It was a beautiful, sentimental ballad
00:14:32That'll be refreshing
00:14:34All you hear today
00:14:35Is scrub me mama
00:14:35With a salad fork
00:14:36Or beat me baby
00:14:37With a boiled potato
00:14:39What song or no song
00:14:40What you ought to do
00:14:40Is to go home
00:14:41Oh, I couldn't go back
00:14:42To Elk Falls
00:14:43Even if I wanted to
00:14:44I haven't got the money
00:14:45Oh, don't worry
00:14:46I'll help you
00:14:47I have plenty of friends
00:14:49We all live together
00:14:50Hedy Lamar
00:14:51Lana Turner
00:14:52Betty Grable
00:14:53All have homes
00:14:53Over there on the left
00:14:55Most of my friends
00:14:56Live in Gower Gulch
00:14:57Gower Gulch?
00:14:58Yeah, all picture people
00:14:59Nothing very fancy
00:15:01But they're a great bunch
00:15:03I can't understand it
00:15:04Nobody even wants to hear my song
00:15:06Oh, this is a tough town
00:15:08Look at me
00:15:09Driving a bus so I can eat
00:15:10Me, a fine dramatic actor
00:15:13And now, ladies and gentlemen
00:15:15On your right
00:15:15The home of Stuart T. Hollingshead
00:15:17Who?
00:15:18Stuart T. Hollingshead
00:15:20The great Vitagraph tragedian
00:15:21You must remember him
00:15:23In Death Before Dishonor
00:15:24Never heard of him
00:15:25Never heard of him
00:15:26His greatest role
00:15:27The famous deathbed scene
00:15:29His family clustered around his bed
00:15:31Ah, I can see him now
00:15:34There he lies
00:15:35Droning with pain
00:15:36He raises himself up
00:15:37On one elbow and says
00:15:38I want you to promise me
00:15:40One thing
00:15:41And one thing alone
00:15:42My son
00:15:44Before I die
00:15:47Before I die
00:15:50Hey, Mama
00:15:51Ain't he funny?
00:15:52He looks just like any care
00:15:53Oh, Mama
00:15:58He pushed me, Mommy
00:16:12That's great, Spike
00:16:13Now give us hutch or cornea
00:16:15Lone
00:16:19Piere
00:16:20Great
00:16:20Ah
00:16:24Ah
00:16:25Uh
00:16:27Ah
00:16:27Ah
00:16:29Ah
00:16:34She
00:16:35Ah
00:16:39Ah
00:16:41Ah
00:16:42Ah
00:16:42Ah
00:16:44There are
00:16:45Not
00:17:09¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:17:43¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:11¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:34¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:53¡Suscríbete al canal!
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00:20:27¡Suscríbete al canal!
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00:23:33All right, we'll give it to you
00:23:34Let them have it, Spike
00:23:42Sprinkle me with perfume rare
00:23:45And I'll be on my way
00:23:47Stick some slick-em on my hair
00:23:50I may be gone all day
00:23:55Oh, I'm ridin' for a ball
00:23:59Doodin' up, doodin' up
00:24:00In my shirts and ties
00:24:01For the gal with the big blue eyes
00:24:04Oh, I'm ridin' for a fall
00:24:07Doodin' up, doodin' up
00:24:09In my two-tone shoes
00:24:10For the gal with the baby blues
00:24:12Oh, yes, I know
00:24:14She's a dangerous critter, I know
00:24:16She's a dangerous critter, I know
00:24:19She's a dangerous critter, I know
00:24:22But I can't quit her
00:24:24I'm ridin' for a fall
00:24:27Doodin' up, doodin' up
00:24:28Like I wasn't wise
00:24:30To the gal with the big blue eyes
00:24:32Oh, yes, I know
00:24:33She's a witch of a woman
00:24:35I know
00:24:36She's a witch of a woman
00:24:37I know
00:24:38She's a witch of a woman
00:24:40I know
00:24:41Oh, but I'm so human
00:24:43I'm ridin' for a fall
00:25:16Doodin' up, doodin' up
00:25:16Doodin' up, doodin' up
00:25:16I know
00:25:17I know
00:25:19But ooh, that figure
00:25:22I'm ridin' for a fall
00:25:24Doodin' up, doodin' up
00:25:26Like I wasn't wise
00:25:27To the gal with the big blue eyes
00:25:29Oh, yes, I know
00:25:31She'll be spendin' my sugar
00:25:33I know
00:25:33She'll be spendin' my sugar
00:25:35I know
00:25:36She'll be spendin' my sugar
00:25:38I know
00:25:38You can't rhyme sugar
00:25:42I'm ridin' for a fall
00:25:44Doodin' up, doodin' up
00:25:46Like I wasn't wise
00:25:47To the gal with the big blue eyes
00:25:49Yes, I'm ridin' for a fall
00:25:53Doodin' up, doodin' up
00:25:54Like I wasn't wise
00:25:56To the gal with the big blue eyes
00:25:58Doodin' up, doodin' up
00:26:00Like I wasn't wise
00:26:01To the gal with the big blue eyes
00:26:03Doodin' up, doodin' up
00:26:05Like I wasn't wise
00:26:06To the gal with the big blue eyes
00:26:10¡Gracias!
00:26:38I kind of promised Pat last night.
00:26:40Why not?
00:26:41If a guy's got influence, he should use it.
00:26:43Oh, that's right.
00:26:44Oh, say, if you're going to sing that song,
00:26:46you better get familiar with the lyric, huh?
00:26:47Go ahead, read them.
00:26:49Let's see.
00:26:52Moondust by Irving Dixon.
00:26:54That's my pen name.
00:26:55Irving?
00:26:56Well, Berlin did all right with it.
00:26:58Yeah, she did all right, yeah.
00:26:59I'll just give you the first chorus.
00:27:02Moondust, you shone from above.
00:27:05Moondust, you lit up my love.
00:27:08Moondust, you gave love a shove
00:27:10right into my arms.
00:27:12Solid, huh?
00:27:13Yeah, yeah, it's very good.
00:27:15That's good, that's good, that's good.
00:27:17Moondust, why did I fall?
00:27:19Moondust, why did love call?
00:27:22Moondust, you had so much on the ball
00:27:24that you made me fall for his charms.
00:27:29Arms and charms, that's a nice rhyme.
00:27:31Quite unusual, it's like moon and spoon.
00:27:33Oh, it's solid, I dig this finish.
00:27:35Though he looked like grade A,
00:27:37meet that old Milky Way,
00:27:38he left me.
00:27:40But now I'm wise.
00:27:42There's no kiss on my lips.
00:27:44There's a total eclipse.
00:27:46Cause, moondust, you got in my eyes.
00:27:51All it needs is a little more moondust.
00:27:53I got a lot of extra choruses, too, you know.
00:27:56You'll never top that one.
00:27:57Oh, thanks.
00:27:58You think this song is right for Mr. Cantor?
00:28:00Nobody else should ever have that number.
00:28:05Now, let me get this straight, boys.
00:28:07You say you want to dine ashore for a benefit.
00:28:08What kind of a benefit?
00:28:10Well, it's just one of those things, Mr. Cantor,
00:28:12you know, for allied charities.
00:28:13Allied charity?
00:28:14You mean the Cavalcade of Stars this Saturday?
00:28:16That's it.
00:28:17Every star in the business will be there.
00:28:20It will be the biggest, the greatest.
00:28:22It will be a nice little show.
00:28:25Little show?
00:28:25Why, it'll be sensational.
00:28:27Well, of course you can have dine ashore.
00:28:28Really?
00:28:29Well...
00:28:29Olaf, how long have we been at that thing?
00:28:31About 15 minutes.
00:28:32That's enough.
00:28:33I don't want to get too tired.
00:28:34Can you have dine ashore?
00:28:35Why, you certainly can, and she'll be marvelous.
00:28:38Dine will come out and sing a song.
00:28:39Then I'll do about seven or eight numbers.
00:28:41That's a half an hour with applause, 45 minutes.
00:28:42And before I get through, believe me,
00:28:44it'll be a great show.
00:28:45A great show.
00:28:46Mr. Cantor, really, I don't believe that you understand.
00:28:49You don't creep the poem we are driving into.
00:28:52Even if we didn't have a reason to not want to,
00:28:55which we got.
00:28:56We still don't want to.
00:28:58Yeah.
00:28:58Eh?
00:28:58Nah?
00:28:59Nah?
00:28:59Yeah.
00:28:59What Dr. Schleiner is trying to say is
00:29:01that we are using motion picture names exclusively.
00:29:03Motion picture?
00:29:04I've been a picture star for years.
00:29:05Wouldn't you call me a name?
00:29:06Oh, definitely.
00:29:07But not the kind I could put in lights.
00:29:10That's very funny.
00:29:11I know what you're thinking about.
00:29:13I'm going to use a lot of old jokes.
00:29:14Like when I walk into a department store
00:29:16and the woman says to me,
00:29:17Sonny, would you mind holding that door open for me?
00:29:19I said, Sonny?
00:29:20Madam, I'd like to have you know
00:29:21I'm the father of five girls.
00:29:22She said, would you mind repeating that?
00:29:24I said, not if I can help it.
00:29:25Oh, yes.
00:29:29I've always laughed at that one.
00:29:31But I don't do those old jokes anymore.
00:29:33How would you boys like to hear a brand new song
00:29:35they just wrote for me today?
00:29:36No.
00:29:36Fine.
00:29:37I'll let you hear it.
00:29:38Oh, Mr. Cameron, please.
00:29:38We have in time.
00:29:39Just a couple of chords.
00:29:40It'll take about a half an hour.
00:29:41Olaf, do you remember the number?
00:29:50No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:30:12No.
00:30:14Come on, everybody, come on.
00:30:15That's one way of keeping your help, entertain them.
00:30:17Come on, everybody, get ready for your treat.
00:30:20You see, I always try out my new songs on the household staff.
00:30:23If they laugh, I use the new song.
00:30:24If they don't, we get a new staff.
00:30:28Play, Ola.
00:30:33Thank you for your cordial invitation, Mrs. Jones.
00:30:36But with nightclub life, we're through.
00:30:39Non-essential spending brings inflation, Mrs. Jones.
00:30:43So here's what we're planning to do.
00:30:46We're staying home tonight, my baby and me.
00:30:50Doing the patriotic thing.
00:30:53I've got my income tax return to hurdle.
00:30:56And she'll be saving mileage on her girdle.
00:31:00Don't want to roam tonight.
00:31:02We're snug as can be.
00:31:03Hoping the phone will never ring.
00:31:07The landlord never told us when we moved in this flat.
00:31:10That you can use the fireside for more than a jet.
00:31:13We're staying home tonight, my baby and me.
00:31:17Doing the patriotic thing.
00:31:20We're staying home tonight, baby and me.
00:31:24Having a patriotic time.
00:31:54We'll play a game of rummy.
00:31:56It's cheaper than the Ritz.
00:31:58The winner wins a kiss and just in case of a blitz.
00:32:01We're staying home tonight, my baby and me.
00:32:05Having a patriotic time.
00:32:08A coffee could be sweeter, but I'm not in the dumps.
00:32:12Cause every time she hugs me, it's like two extra lumps.
00:32:15We're staying home tonight, baby and me.
00:32:19Having a patriotic time.
00:32:27What, only one bow?
00:32:31They love me.
00:32:37Wait for me, kids.
00:32:38I'll be out as soon as I can.
00:32:39Good luck, Tommy.
00:32:40We'll keep our fingers crossed.
00:32:41Boys, I can't understand that.
00:32:42Me with my experience and benefits.
00:32:44Why don't you want me?
00:32:45Why?
00:32:45Well, Mr. Cantor, to be brutally frank, you have the reputation of taking over everything
00:32:50in which you participate.
00:32:51Me?
00:32:52I take over?
00:32:52Yes, please.
00:32:54Yes.
00:32:55The whole town knows it.
00:32:56You're nothing but an old fussbudget.
00:32:57Me?
00:32:58That's right.
00:32:58You are an old fussbudget.
00:33:00Buss, buzz, buzz, buzz.
00:33:02What's he said?
00:33:04But boys.
00:33:05No, no, no.
00:33:06Boys, I am merely trying to help.
00:33:08Merely trying to help.
00:33:10That is the trouble.
00:33:11We don't need help, Mr. Cantor.
00:33:13I'm staging this show.
00:33:14We are striving for an esoteric production.
00:33:17Satirically on team.
00:33:18Aesthetically entre nous.
00:33:20And we don't want it stunk up.
00:33:22Yes, yes.
00:33:22That's what we don't want it.
00:33:24What?
00:33:25Stunk up.
00:33:26That I can say.
00:33:27Listen.
00:33:28All we want is Dinah Shaw.
00:33:30If you want Dinah, take her.
00:33:31She's yours.
00:33:32As for myself, I want nothing.
00:33:34Absolutely nothing.
00:33:35Oh, well, thank you.
00:33:37Thank you, Mr. Cantor.
00:33:38I want nothing at all.
00:33:40Of course, you'll make me the chairman of the committee.
00:33:42Chairman of the committee?
00:33:44Well, certainly.
00:33:45That is out.
00:33:46Definitely out.
00:33:47All right.
00:33:47If that's the way you feel about it.
00:33:49No Cantor.
00:33:50No Dinah Shaw.
00:33:51And no sandwiches.
00:33:52Nah, nah, nah.
00:33:53Very well.
00:33:54Come, Slater.
00:33:54Wait a minute, boys.
00:33:55Let's not be hasty.
00:33:57Of course, you know, we can talk this thing over.
00:33:59Hi, Mr. Cantor.
00:33:59Glad to see you.
00:34:00I'm Tommy Randolph.
00:34:01You see, you don't have to rush away.
00:34:03Who?
00:34:03Tommy Randolph.
00:34:04You know, radio program.
00:34:05Radio program?
00:34:06Yeah.
00:34:07Look, son, I'm busy.
00:34:07I'll see you in a few minutes.
00:34:08As I was saying...
00:34:09Yeah, go ahead and take your time.
00:34:10After all, we got a whole career ahead of us.
00:34:12Hey, Eddie?
00:34:13No point to any further discussion.
00:34:15Come, Slater.
00:34:15Gentlemen, you don't understand.
00:34:16I'm sure, I'm sure that we can iron this thing out.
00:34:19We don't want to iron.
00:34:20We just want Dinah Shaw.
00:34:21Yeah, but I discovered it.
00:34:22I discovered Dinah Shaw.
00:34:23She isn't the only one, eh, Eddie?
00:34:25Of course not.
00:34:26Why, she...
00:34:27Look, young man.
00:34:28I'm a little bit busy and I'll see you in a few minutes, huh?
00:34:31Is that all right?
00:34:32Boys, how can you think of Dinah working without me?
00:34:34Why, it's like bread without butter.
00:34:35Like ham without eggs.
00:34:36Like...
00:34:36Like Cantor without Randolph.
00:34:38Like Cantor without Randolph.
00:34:39Who's Randolph?
00:34:40Who's Randolph?
00:34:41Just a combination of Dennis Day, Kenny Baker, and Pink Crosby all rolled into one, that's all.
00:34:45Well, look, whoever you are, just take a nice long walk or a swim, will you?
00:34:49Will you do that for me?
00:34:51Gentlemen, I'm sure that we can get together.
00:34:52Not on your terms, Mr. Cantor.
00:34:54Your whole attitude has been highly uncooperative, extremely ungenerous.
00:34:58Wait a minute!
00:34:59Wait a minute!
00:34:59You can't talk like that to Mr. Cantor!
00:35:01Quiet, you!
00:35:02He's the most generous man I've ever met.
00:35:03Speak up, my boy!
00:35:04Everybody knows about Mr. Cantor's generosity.
00:35:06There you are, you see, you see?
00:35:07Why, what was I yesterday?
00:35:08Yeah.
00:35:08A nothing.
00:35:09A nobody.
00:35:10And what am I today?
00:35:10What is he today?
00:35:11A star.
00:35:12And you want to know why?
00:35:13Go on, tell him, son, tell him.
00:35:14I'll tell you why.
00:35:15Because this man, the soul of generosity, took me, an unknown kid, without an audition,
00:35:19mind you, took me and signed me up to a five-year contract.
00:35:22The boy is right.
00:35:22He's absolutely right.
00:35:24Contract?
00:35:25What are you talking about?
00:35:26What kind of a contract?
00:35:27I've got it right with me, boss.
00:35:29Well, who...
00:35:29And nobody's going around insulting Eddie Cantor.
00:35:32Nah, nah, not right.
00:35:33He's got me signed up for a hundred bucks a week.
00:35:34Say, Randolph, this is a contract.
00:35:36Silly of me to forget.
00:35:37Oh, uh, Olaf.
00:35:38Oh, that's all right.
00:35:39You probably got plenty on your mind, eh, boss?
00:35:41Plenty.
00:35:41Olaf, uh, this young man has a contract with me.
00:35:44Let's show him inside, shall we?
00:35:45Oh, don't trouble yourself, Eddie.
00:35:48Oh, no trouble at all, eh, Olaf?
00:35:49It's a pleasure.
00:35:51I'll see you in a minute, gentlemen.
00:35:59Tommy's been in there quite a while now.
00:36:00I wonder how he's coming out.
00:36:02Stay out of here.
00:36:07Well, gentlemen, have you reached the decision?
00:36:09Oh, oh, yes.
00:36:10Yes, Mr. Cantor, we have.
00:36:12And against our better judgment, we must have dine ashore.
00:36:15So we have decided to make you chairman of the benefit committee.
00:36:19What?
00:36:20It is clearly understood the position is entirely honorary,
00:36:22and you are not to interfere with the show.
00:36:25Me interfere with the show?
00:36:27Me?
00:36:27Gentlemen, if I interfere, I hope I never take a bow again as long as I live.
00:36:31Why, I won't even come to rehearsal.
00:36:33One, two, now you're dancing.
00:36:37One, two, watch your hands.
00:36:39Oh, play that music.
00:36:41Hit, sing.
00:36:42Ah, no.
00:36:43You fail to dance for me.
00:36:45Hold that.
00:36:46Hit, hold.
00:36:46Now, fail to follow me.
00:36:48One, two, three, four.
00:36:50Look.
00:36:51Look what he does with the beautiful music and my orchestration.
00:36:55Your orchestration?
00:36:56What about my dance routine?
00:36:58He's ruined.
00:36:59He's ruined it, I tell you.
00:37:00Anyway, and why?
00:37:01Because you had to make him chairman of the committee.
00:37:05And why?
00:37:06Because you had to have dine ashore.
00:37:08Please, please, don't blame him if you're blaming.
00:37:10Blame you?
00:37:11Who's blaming you?
00:37:12I am.
00:37:13That's who.
00:37:14Please, why don't you insult him like we disgusted him?
00:37:17Why don't you insult him like we disgusted him?
00:37:19I will tell you, because you are more disgusting than me.
00:37:23Is that so?
00:37:25Who do you think you are, anyway?
00:37:27Wait a minute, girls.
00:37:27Hold everything.
00:37:28Boys, stop playing the music.
00:37:30Stop the music.
00:37:32Gentlemen, you are ruining my rehearsal.
00:37:34Your rehearsal?
00:37:35Our rehearsal?
00:37:36You're ruining our rehearsal.
00:37:37But, boys, what have I done?
00:37:39We had this number rehearsed and perfect four hours ago.
00:37:42And then you came into the picture.
00:37:44And let me tell you, we're about fed up with you and your interference.
00:37:47Fed up, do you hear me?
00:37:49Up to here.
00:37:49Aren't we, doctor?
00:37:50Higher.
00:37:52You see?
00:37:53I can't understand it.
00:37:54You boys should thank me for coming here.
00:37:56The music was bad.
00:37:57The lighting was no good.
00:37:58But one thing I will say, who designed that costume?
00:38:01That's my work.
00:38:02I did.
00:38:03Congratulations.
00:38:04Someone should give you a hot foot.
00:38:05Up to here.
00:38:07Higher.
00:38:08What's that animal it shouldn't happen to?
00:38:11A dog.
00:38:12That's it.
00:38:13Now, girls, we'll try it again.
00:38:15Boys, close your curtains.
00:38:17I want to keep this very intimate.
00:38:18Come down here, girls.
00:38:19This is going to be one of the biggest things I've ever done.
00:38:21And I've done some big things.
00:38:22Sometimes I even frighten myself.
00:38:25Now, listen to me, Slater.
00:38:25Listen to me.
00:38:26We've got to do something about Cantor.
00:38:28We've got to get rid of him.
00:38:29So you, you take him away someplace and talk to him.
00:38:31Oh, no, no.
00:38:32Talk to him.
00:38:32I don't want to talk to him.
00:38:34No, no.
00:38:34He told me today three times the story of his life.
00:38:37No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:38:40The story of his life.
00:38:42Why, that's it.
00:38:43That is it.
00:38:44The story of his life.
00:38:47Doctor, you're a genius.
00:38:52Naturally.
00:38:54Keep your line straight, girls.
00:38:55You're doing fine.
00:38:55It's by accident, but you're doing fine.
00:38:57That's it.
00:38:57Mr. Cantor.
00:38:58Yes, sir.
00:38:58You want it on the telephone.
00:39:00Thank you, son.
00:39:01Son.
00:39:11Hello?
00:39:12Just a minute, please.
00:39:13Who's winning?
00:39:14I am.
00:39:15I got half of your game.
00:39:16Yes?
00:39:17Mr. Cantor, this is Colonel Robert E. Jefferson, sir, of the Montgomery Post-Gazette, sir.
00:39:22Yes, sir.
00:39:23Look, Colonel, I'm a very busy man.
00:39:24I'm not doing any advertising this year.
00:39:26We're lousers, how?
00:39:27You're very busy, sir.
00:39:28But what we all down here wants from you all up there is a complete story of your life, sir.
00:39:35My life?
00:39:36A pleasure, Colonel.
00:39:37I'll make it brief.
00:39:38Just pull up a chair.
00:39:40Now, you begin right at the beginning, sir.
00:39:42And don't omit any of the details, no matter how boring they may be, sir.
00:39:46Yes, sir.
00:39:47Fine.
00:39:48Well, Colonel, my ancestors crossed the plains in the first covered wagon.
00:39:52If you ever saw my ancestors, you'd understand why the wagon was covered.
00:39:56Don't print that.
00:40:01Boy!
00:40:01Yes, sir?
00:40:02Tell Dr. Schlainer to put that Jack Carson Allen Hale number on right away.
00:40:06The Carson Hale number, Dr. Schlainer.
00:40:25Where is you on the bill with me in Dallas?
00:40:28Or was it the palace?
00:40:29Or was it the strad?
00:40:32Didn't you have a blonde with you named Alice?
00:40:34Yes, that was in Dallas.
00:40:36And wasn't she frad?
00:40:39I know your face.
00:40:40It's a face in a million.
00:40:42Shake, brother, shake.
00:40:44With a brother of all a million.
00:40:49Hello!
00:40:50Hello!
00:40:50Hello!
00:40:51Hello!
00:40:51You look all ready to go.
00:40:53But where are you going to go?
00:40:54I certainly wish you'd let me know.
00:40:56Goodbye!
00:40:57Goodbye!
00:40:57Goodbye!
00:40:58Goodbye!
00:40:58A happy fellow am I.
00:41:00And though you'll call me an awful sap.
00:41:02Who, me?
00:41:03I found a wonderful spot on the map.
00:41:06I'm going north.
00:41:07He's going north.
00:41:09Not talking about south.
00:41:11Not talking about south.
00:41:12Not talking about west.
00:41:14One place he loves best.
00:41:15I'm shouting.
00:41:16I don't want to live without the...
00:41:18Why don't they write a song about the north?
00:41:20You heard him say north.
00:41:22Not talking about east.
00:41:23He never mentioned east.
00:41:25I just want a feast.
00:41:26Oh, boy, what a feast.
00:41:28These eyes on Syracuse and Albany.
00:41:31A buffalo and Schenectady.
00:41:32North is my favorite direction.
00:41:35Point to the state of Maine.
00:41:39Pardon me, boy.
00:41:40If that's the Chattanooga shoot you well,
00:41:42I guess I must be on the wrong grid.
00:41:44Because I've been north.
00:41:45I think you mean it.
00:41:47I've been back and forth.
00:41:49You've really seen it.
00:41:50Oh, mother, you can take a rock and slam me
00:41:53if I should ever call you mammy.
00:41:55Way up north.
00:41:57One, two, three, four, six, seven, eight.
00:42:09Stop.
00:42:09I'm going north.
00:42:11He's still going north.
00:42:12Too lazy downtown.
00:42:14Hates the sugar cane in his mouth.
00:42:16Too lonely out west.
00:42:17Pardon me, get it off your chest.
00:42:19I can't begin to tell you how I love the cities and states
00:42:22and counties of the north.
00:42:24He knows his own mind.
00:42:25Northeast will not do.
00:42:26He's quite particular.
00:42:28Northwest gets me blue.
00:42:30He's perpendicular.
00:42:31Head straight for Saskatoon, Saskatchewan,
00:42:34Labrador, and on and on to the north.
00:42:37That's my favorite direction.
00:42:39Pointing up to Hudson Bay.
00:42:42Pardon me, boy.
00:42:43But when the midnight shoots you leave from Alabama,
00:42:45I won't be going your way.
00:42:47Because I'm heading north.
00:42:49He'll never have a famine.
00:42:50I've been back and forth.
00:42:52He lives on Nova Scotia salmon.
00:42:54You'll find me where there is no cotton pickin'.
00:42:56Never again to fry a chicken.
00:42:58Way up north.
00:43:01Way up north.
00:43:25The North is my favorite direction.
00:43:29Pointing to the Arctic Sea.
00:43:32Pardon me, boy.
00:43:33Is this the road to Mandalay?
00:43:35Well, you can go to Mandalay, but not me.
00:43:37Because we're heading north.
00:43:39Is that your latitude?
00:43:40I've been back and forth.
00:43:42In every latitude.
00:43:44We are the only act in Bonneville
00:43:47that never will be content until we're way up.
00:43:52Marsh!
00:43:54Way up.
00:43:56We're not from Dixie.
00:43:58Way up.
00:44:01We are from hunger.
00:44:04Way up.
00:44:05Way up.
00:44:06Lord.
00:44:11Yes, sir.
00:44:12Anyway, Colonel, thanks to perseverance and clean living,
00:44:15by the time I was two years old,
00:44:16I made enough money to retire,
00:44:18so I kept right on working.
00:44:19When I was three, I entered school,
00:44:21but at the end of the first time,
00:44:22I quit and opened up a school of my own.
00:44:24Well, some months later, I was married,
00:44:26and everybody congratulated my wife.
00:44:28I was the catch of the season.
00:44:31Hello, Joe.
00:44:32How are you, Joe?
00:44:33Hello, fellas.
00:44:33Congratulations, Charlie.
00:44:34I'm glad somebody in Gowagulch got a job.
00:44:36Yeah, that's swell.
00:44:37Just heard about it, fellas.
00:44:38Don't let these Cherokee Union suits fool you.
00:44:41We got all dialed up to take publicity pictures with Edward G. Robinson.
00:44:44We made him an honorary chief.
00:44:46It's a newspaper plug for Cavalcade of Stars.
00:44:49Oh, that's that big benefit Saturday night, isn't it?
00:44:51Yeah.
00:44:52I've got to get out of these things.
00:44:54My girdle is killing me.
00:44:57Cavalcade of Stars.
00:44:58Boy, that's really going to be a show.
00:45:00Betty Davis, Ann Sheridan, Humphrey Bogart.
00:45:02What a benefit.
00:45:03Every big shot in town will be there.
00:45:04Sure, and I'm my best in front of a professional audience.
00:45:07If I had a chance to sing for a crowd like that,
00:45:08I bet I'd get a dozen contracts.
00:45:11You want an aspirin?
00:45:12What's the matter?
00:45:13I've got an idea.
00:45:14Why don't you do it, Tommy?
00:45:15Why don't I what?
00:45:16Go down to the theater and tell them to put you on Saturday night.
00:45:19Pat, you forget one little item.
00:45:21You know I have a great voice, so do I.
00:45:23They don't.
00:45:24Tommy, let me give you a tip.
00:45:25In show business, you've got to have poise.
00:45:27Be professional, be aggressive, be egotistical.
00:45:29You understand?
00:45:30Sure.
00:45:31Even with my personality, I couldn't get through that stage door.
00:45:33Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.
00:45:35Joe, can you get him in?
00:45:36After all, Davis and I are pals.
00:45:38Betty Davis, the actress?
00:45:40No, Max Davis, the doorman.
00:45:41Oh, well, come on in.
00:45:43What are we waiting for?
00:45:43Wait a minute, Pat.
00:45:44I'm not so sure.
00:45:45Yeah, but it's worth a trial.
00:45:46And if it works, it'll be a great break for your kid.
00:45:48Oh, and for Moondust, too.
00:45:51Yeah.
00:45:52Moondust.
00:45:53Well, let's go.
00:45:54Let's go.
00:45:55She said, let's go.
00:45:56This ought to make great reading.
00:45:57Inspirational stuff.
00:45:58Now to continue.
00:45:59By that time, I had five lovely daughters.
00:46:02All girls.
00:46:03That's the year I made Whoopi for Ziegfeld.
00:46:05Am I boring you, Colonel?
00:46:07Yes, indeed.
00:46:09Oh, certainly not, Mr. Cantor.
00:46:10No, of course not.
00:46:11It's most interesting.
00:46:13Pray continue, sir.
00:46:15Mr. Farnsworth.
00:46:16What do you want?
00:46:17What do you want?
00:46:17Have you got time for Aunt Sheridan?
00:46:19Have I got time for her?
00:46:21The question is, is Aunt Sheridan got time for me?
00:46:23I mean, have we got time to rehearse her number?
00:46:25Oh, the number, yes.
00:46:26Go ahead with it.
00:46:27Go ahead.
00:46:27Go ahead.
00:46:31Go ahead with Aunt Sheridan.
00:46:32Come on, Bites.
00:46:33Bites.
00:46:33Bites.
00:46:41And so, young ladies, feminine charm and dignity must be preserved.
00:46:46Let man pursue.
00:46:48Let woman elude.
00:46:50It is always thus that love is born.
00:46:53Here is a book enormous on how to conduct our lives.
00:47:00Everything will come to her full ways.
00:47:04But how long must a lady wait for days?
00:47:09Somebody please inform us exactly how love arrives.
00:47:23Love isn't born on a beautiful April morning.
00:47:30Love isn't born.
00:47:33Love isn't born.
00:47:34It's made.
00:47:37And that's why every window has a window shade.
00:47:44Love can't do much for a couple who don't quite touch.
00:47:50Love needs a chance to advance.
00:47:57And that's why folks who never cared for dancing, dance.
00:48:04So, my precious young dove, if you're waiting for love, better make the most of your chum.
00:48:10Oh, the feeling won't start in the gentleman's heart till you're in the gentleman's arms.
00:48:19Love isn't born.
00:48:21That's a fable to treat with scorn.
00:48:25Let's call a spade, a spade.
00:48:31When he says, dear, come up and see my antique jade.
00:48:38Remember, love isn't born.
00:48:42It's made.
00:48:45How true, how true, how very, very true.
00:48:49It's all a game.
00:48:52How wise, how wise, how very, very wise to fan the flame.
00:48:57That old Prince Charming story was a fake.
00:49:01The sleeping beauty must have been awake.
00:49:04You've got us all believing in you.
00:49:08Continue, please continue.
00:49:11Love has to climb.
00:49:13It can suddenly ring that chime.
00:49:17Climb, sister, time is short.
00:49:21Sister, won't you be a sport?
00:49:23You'll find there's no partition in a Davenport.
00:49:27No partition, no partition in a Davenport.
00:49:30Love doesn't act.
00:49:32Till the cards are discreetly stacked.
00:49:36Here is a fact.
00:49:39Face.
00:49:40Yes, you gotta face the fact.
00:49:42A man won't take a taxi just to get no place.
00:49:46How they hate a taxi getting no place.
00:49:48Oh, my precious young dump, if you're dreaming of love, better lead him into the trap.
00:49:54Or you'll never remain on the gentleman's brain till you're on the gentleman's lap.
00:50:01Love won't exist.
00:50:03Oh, no.
00:50:04If you constantly slap that wrist.
00:50:06You'll do and you'll be right off his wrist.
00:50:10You'll say.
00:50:11Yes, you gotta be careful.
00:50:13So don't keep crying, wolf, at every gay young blade.
00:50:19And when you walk alone and forlorn, and then you hear a Cadillac horn, remember, love isn't born.
00:50:30It's me.
00:50:46Uh-oh.
00:50:47Max Davis.
00:50:48What about him?
00:50:49That's not him.
00:50:50Huh?
00:50:51Well, let's go home and wash the bus.
00:50:53No, wait a minute.
00:50:53Let's wash this up first.
00:50:54That's right.
00:50:55When Tommy Randolph says he's gonna get in someplace, nobody keeps him out.
00:50:58Now you're talking, Tommy.
00:51:01That's what I call taking a bull by the horns.
00:51:03Yeah, but look at that bull.
00:51:05Hello?
00:51:08Where do you think you're going, fella?
00:51:09In there.
00:51:10I gotta see a man about a job.
00:51:11You must have skipped reading when you went to school.
00:51:13Why, nobody gets in there.
00:51:14Now blow, will ya?
00:51:16Blow.
00:51:16When Tommy Randolph wants to get in, nobody keeps him out.
00:51:19Nobody except that doorman.
00:51:21Uh-oh.
00:51:22What now?
00:51:22Another idea?
00:51:23And what an idea?
00:51:24Come on, Joe.
00:51:26Now wait a minute, partner.
00:51:27You don't understand.
00:51:28I understand my orders.
00:51:29Nobody goes in there without a written pass.
00:51:32Now blow, kitty.
00:51:35You can't do it.
00:51:36You can't break my heart and toss me aside like a wilded flower.
00:51:38You can't do it, Harry.
00:51:40But, but, but, Harry, but...
00:51:41Oh, don't hit me again.
00:51:42Please don't.
00:51:43All I ask is bread for our three little babies.
00:51:46Oh, please, Harry, don't twist my arm.
00:51:49Pat, you've got me mixed up with somebody else.
00:51:50This is Joe, remember?
00:51:51Oh, you beast.
00:51:52How can you let your children starve while you buy champagne for that red-headed hussy?
00:51:56Hardly, lady.
00:51:57Can I be of assistance?
00:51:58How dare you win if you're in a private conversation?
00:52:00Will you mind your own business?
00:52:01Champagne?
00:52:02But listen, lady, I was only...
00:52:03Keep your mouth out of this.
00:52:04If we need your help, we'll ask for it.
00:52:06Yes.
00:52:06Oh, you think you're a wise guy or something.
00:52:08Yes, I think I'm a wise guy or something.
00:52:10What about it?
00:52:10What about it?
00:52:11Plenty about it.
00:52:12Oh, so you think you're tough, huh?
00:52:14Yes, I'm pretty tough.
00:52:15You want to make something out of it?
00:52:16Take off them glasses, shrimp.
00:52:17All right, there.
00:52:18What are you going to do about it?
00:52:25Well, hello, gentlemen.
00:52:26How do you do?
00:52:26We're very busy.
00:52:27You're not safe.
00:52:28Oh, hello.
00:52:29How are you?
00:52:30Hello.
00:52:30There was certainly some clambake at the pool yesterday.
00:52:32Cantor certainly made a horse's neck out of me.
00:52:34Horse's neck?
00:52:35Together with us, that makes one complete horse.
00:52:38Nobody can treat me like that and get away with it.
00:52:40If I ever lay my hands on the broken down little runter...
00:52:43Yes, yes, yes.
00:52:43Go on.
00:52:44I'll break every bone in his body.
00:52:45You will kick him a few times, too, yes?
00:52:48And maybe step on his face a little.
00:52:50Well, I don't want to bother you with my headache.
00:52:52I came here to get in the show.
00:52:54In this show?
00:52:55Yes.
00:52:56Who do I see?
00:52:57You see us?
00:52:58No, no, no.
00:52:59No?
00:52:59Yes.
00:53:00Go right ahead.
00:53:01Not us.
00:53:02We can't go over the head of the chairman.
00:53:04No, we can't.
00:53:04You should see the chairman of the committee.
00:53:06Oh, swear.
00:53:07Where do I find him?
00:53:08Right in that office.
00:53:08Right down there.
00:53:09Just walk right in, young man.
00:53:10Oh, thank you.
00:53:10Thank you very much.
00:53:11You don't have to knock.
00:53:13Then came the stock market crash, and I opened up an antique shop.
00:53:16Such antiques.
00:53:17No, no.
00:53:18None of my jokes.
00:53:19Come in.
00:53:21Well, of course.
00:53:22Well, naturally.
00:53:22Oh, pardon me.
00:53:23They told me I could find the...
00:53:24You!
00:53:25Again!
00:53:26Olaf!
00:53:27Stay out of here!
00:53:31Oh, I'm sorry, Joe.
00:53:33Please, Pat.
00:53:34If you get any more ideas, leave me out of them.
00:53:37Well, you made a great sacrifice, Joe.
00:53:39Yeah.
00:53:40At least we know Tommy's sitting pretty.
00:53:44Well, anyhow, sitting.
00:53:52Oh, my jaw.
00:53:53How can you eat like that with the foil you took?
00:53:55Where I landed, it doesn't hurt my appetite.
00:53:58You know, I can't help feeling we're overlooking something.
00:54:00There must be a way to get Tommy in that show.
00:54:03I'd be in it if it weren't for that marble-eyed weasel.
00:54:05I'll get even with him if I have to break every sidewalk in town.
00:54:08Now you know how I feel.
00:54:09I hope I never hear his obnoxious name again.
00:54:12Kenny Cantor!
00:54:16Oh, please, forgive me for laughing every time I see that ridiculous face.
00:54:21Mr. Cantor, I simply must have an autograph.
00:54:24Madam, I'm sorry, but I don't happen to be the...
00:54:25Those bastards didn't fool me.
00:54:27I'd know little Eddie anywhere.
00:54:30And those silly, silly eyes.
00:54:32You will give me your autograph, won't you?
00:54:33Pretty, please?
00:54:34Look, madam, I don't want to disappoint you.
00:54:36Go on.
00:54:37Sign it.
00:54:37Let the lady go back to her table.
00:54:39Eddie?
00:54:40Eddie?
00:54:40Oh, oh, oh.
00:54:43Oh, thank you, you dear, dear funny man.
00:54:46And remember, if you ever come to Peoria,
00:54:48I'd like to spend some Wednesday with you.
00:54:52Don't you forget now.
00:54:54Goodbye.
00:54:56I beg your pardon.
00:54:57Goodbye.
00:54:58You see, I'm haunted.
00:55:00It's a curse.
00:55:01Wait a minute, Joe.
00:55:04What's the matter, Pat?
00:55:05She got a pain?
00:55:05No, she's got another idea.
00:55:07I'm going to fill the bus.
00:55:08No, wait a minute.
00:55:09Listen, if you...
00:55:10Oh, Eddie Cantor, you'd let Tommy sing tomorrow night, wouldn't you?
00:55:13Of course he would.
00:55:13He's my pal.
00:55:14Well, all right.
00:55:15We'll cut his hair a little bit, take off those glasses,
00:55:18and presto, Joe Simpson is Eddie Cantor.
00:55:21Now, just a minute.
00:55:22Great.
00:55:23He goes down to the theater and tells them to put me on.
00:55:25I can see the whole thing.
00:55:26Brother, if you can see me at the theater, you need these glasses.
00:55:29No, Tommy, I'm not going to do it.
00:55:30Not even for you.
00:55:31Oh, but Joe...
00:55:32He's right, Tommy.
00:55:33It's too much to ask.
00:55:34After all, a part like this requires great acting.
00:55:37Acting?
00:55:38What do you mean, acting?
00:55:40What a plot.
00:55:41An actor's dream.
00:55:42A chance to impersonate your own worst enemy?
00:55:44Ah, too bad.
00:55:45I don't think Joe could handle it anyhow.
00:55:46No.
00:55:47Who couldn't handle it?
00:55:48I saw him an actor.
00:55:49Well, yeah, but I don't think we can risk it.
00:55:51But you've got to.
00:55:52This is my big chance.
00:55:53What do you think, Pat?
00:55:55Well, okay.
00:55:57Thank you, Pat.
00:55:58I'll never forget you for this.
00:56:00But how are we going to get rid of Cantor?
00:56:01Huh?
00:56:02After all, you can't have the two of us running around the theater.
00:56:05Yeah, we've got to get rid of him somehow.
00:56:07Yeah, but how?
00:56:08How?
00:56:08You can't give him back to the Indians.
00:56:12Indians.
00:56:13That's it.
00:56:14Indians.
00:56:14Indians.
00:56:16Indians.
00:56:23Sure, Joe.
00:56:23Be glad to help you out.
00:56:25Don't do anything to him.
00:56:26That won't hurt.
00:56:27Don't worry, Joe.
00:56:28We'll talk it over when you get here.
00:56:30Thanks a million.
00:56:33How'd you make out, Joe?
00:56:34What did he say?
00:56:35What did he say?
00:56:35We're all set.
00:56:36I told you they'd do it.
00:56:37Good old Charlie.
00:56:38Now I'll show him I'm an actor.
00:56:39And a great actor, too.
00:56:40This is the start of your new career.
00:56:42No more tourists.
00:56:43No more bus.
00:56:44What a pleasure.
00:56:45Hey, Joe.
00:56:45Two suckers in the bus.
00:56:48Well, business before pleasure.
00:56:50So long.
00:56:51So long, Joe.
00:56:51Bye.
00:56:52See you later.
00:56:52Yeah.
00:56:53Oh, if this only works.
00:56:55Pat, you were wonderful.
00:56:56Oh, sure.
00:56:57Sometimes being a genius comes in handy.
00:56:59No kidding.
00:57:00When I get to be a star, I'll have you to thank for it.
00:57:02Oh, think nothing of it.
00:57:04I think more of it than you realize.
00:57:07Here's a cute number.
00:57:09No you, no me.
00:57:11It's kind of appropriate, too.
00:57:19Without you, I'll never be much.
00:57:22Without you, my plans will fall through.
00:57:25So I have prepared this reliable collection of facts undeniable
00:57:30To point out how much I depend on you.
00:57:37No sunny little sunbeam.
00:57:40No springtime.
00:57:42No tasty little apple.
00:57:46No pie.
00:57:48No tricky little trombone.
00:57:51No swingtime.
00:57:55No one and one, no two.
00:57:58Nothing could be more true.
00:58:01No rainy little raindrop.
00:58:03No ocean.
00:58:06No lovely one to sigh for.
00:58:10No sigh.
00:58:11And there's my little song of devotion
00:58:18Which all adds up so obviously
00:58:22No you, no me
00:58:28No sixty little minutes
00:58:31No hour
00:58:33No healthy little moo-cum
00:58:37No cream
00:58:39No alternating current
00:58:43No power
00:58:45No great Tchaikovsky tunes
00:58:50No hit parade moons and dunes
00:58:53No pretty little mirror
00:58:55No reflection
00:58:57No pretty little dream girl
00:59:02No dream
00:59:05Plus lots of other terms
00:59:08Of affection
00:59:11Which all add up more personally
00:59:15No you, no me
00:59:17In other words, I'm hot on your trail
00:59:33You know Mr. Farnsworth hates animals.
00:59:35You better get this thing out of here before he sees it.
00:59:36Mr. Kanner ordered it and he got it.
00:59:38Well, don't say I didn't tell you.
00:59:40I tell you, Schreiner, it is chaos.
00:59:42Just utter chaos.
00:59:43Did you hear his latest idea?
00:59:45Well, he wants us to dress the dancing girls
00:59:47As boiled potatoes and have them dive in a tank of sour cream.
00:59:51Ridiculous.
00:59:51It would splash.
00:59:52What?
00:59:52Mr. Farnsworth.
00:59:53What do you want?
00:59:54Would you tender these, please?
00:59:54What'll I do with them?
00:59:55Just initial them.
00:59:56Why?
00:59:56Don't argue.
00:59:57Please don't argue with me.
00:59:58I tell you, I can't stand anymore.
01:00:00I can't stand it, no.
01:00:01Seven hours till curtain time and that man Kanner wants to change our entire finale.
01:00:05Oh, I tell you, he's just wrecking my life.
01:00:08Thank you, Schleiner.
01:00:08Thank you.
01:00:09I know exactly how you feel.
01:00:11I know that I have your sympathy.
01:00:13But if that man Kanner makes one more suggestion...
01:00:20Now, now, now, you must not lose your grip.
01:00:23Whatever happens, give...
01:00:25A lion!
01:00:27He can't!
01:00:28A lion, a lion!
01:00:29It's all right, Schleiner.
01:00:30There's no danger.
01:00:30You just look him straight in the eye.
01:00:32Here, halt!
01:00:34Halt!
01:00:36This I don't believe.
01:00:38What's the idea of all these animals?
01:00:40They're for the Harlem number.
01:00:41Mr. Kanner changed a scene to the African jungle.
01:00:43Oh, he did, did he?
01:00:45Yes, sir.
01:00:45You have all those wild beasts sent back to Walt Disney, where they belong.
01:00:48Yes, sir.
01:00:48What?
01:00:49This is preposterous.
01:00:51It's ridiculous.
01:00:52It's ridiculous.
01:00:53Schleiner, this is the end.
01:00:56Yes, I can't see that.
01:00:57And dinosaur, or no dinosaur, I'm going to tell him that right now.
01:01:08Mr. Kanner, we heard...
01:01:09Go on, go on, get out of here and shut that door.
01:01:12Mr. Kanner's occupied.
01:01:13Out, out, out!
01:01:14Oh, excuse me.
01:01:17Out!
01:01:19Hey, hey, you.
01:01:21Hey, who?
01:01:22Who are you, hey?
01:01:23I'm talking to you, fatso.
01:01:24Where would he be?
01:01:25If he would be where I like him to be, he's already crisp on both sides.
01:01:30Now, wait a minute, blubber.
01:01:31Do you know who you're talking to?
01:01:32No.
01:01:33Do you know who you are talking to?
01:01:34No, and I don't care.
01:01:35You see, I was happy not to meet you.
01:01:37Goodbye.
01:01:38Just a minute.
01:01:39No, no, no.
01:01:39Come back here.
01:01:41Listen, Jughead, don't you believe Eddie Kanner wants to talk to me?
01:01:44He's been sending me notes all day.
01:01:45Here, I'll show some of the notes to you.
01:01:47Notes to me?
01:01:48Yeah.
01:01:48Notes to you, too?
01:01:50I'm a musician.
01:01:51I know more about notes than you do.
01:01:53All right, all right.
01:01:54Cool off.
01:01:55This is no time to be burning up all that good beef.
01:01:58No, no, no.
01:01:58Keep your hands to myself.
01:02:00And when I talk, you keep a civil talk in my head.
01:02:03What did I do?
01:02:04Did I send for you?
01:02:05Why, no, but...
01:02:06I start this conversation.
01:02:07No, but...
01:02:08Then you mind my business and I mind yours.
01:02:10Now get out, stay out, and never come back.
01:02:12Do you understand?
01:02:14Why, sure, if that's the way you want it.
01:02:16Jeez, lad.
01:02:18Let the old man bulldoze you, eh?
01:02:20Yeah.
01:02:22That ain't like me.
01:02:24Gee, I hope none of my movie fans hear about this.
01:02:43Slater.
01:02:44Slater.
01:02:44Look, did you did it so fast?
01:02:46That big brute, Olaf, he's in there, and he, uh, he...
01:02:49Oh, I tell you, the whole thing is just hopeless, that's all.
01:02:51I got you into this complication, and it's up to me to make a mess out of it.
01:02:56Why?
01:02:56I mean, who?
01:02:57Uh, how?
01:02:58I tell Dinah Shore she's out of the show.
01:03:01That is perfect, and that'll do it.
01:03:03But you be firm with her, won't you?
01:03:04Ahoi.
01:03:04Ahoi.
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