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Glenn & Mick’s Celebrity Intervention - Season 1 Episode 7 - Jim Jefferies
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00:19Hello and welcome to Glenn and Mick's Celebrity Intervention.
00:23This is the show where we take a well-known celebrity
00:26and put them through a few hoops,
00:28tell them some home truths and not before time.
00:31To help me do that, let's introduce you to my co-host Lawrence Mooney.
00:40Lawrence, I'm just going to ask straight off the bat,
00:43this is a big night for you,
00:44because you're on the other side of the intervention.
00:46Yes.
00:47How's it feel?
00:48This is unique territory for me.
00:49It feels great to be the intervener.
00:51How's it going?
00:52Well, it's a process Mick, one day at a time.
00:55One day at a time.
00:57Well, I hope you've come on a good day.
00:58Let's get straight into it.
00:59Now, before we meet tonight's celebrity intervention subject,
01:03there are other people, places and things that need a good heart intervention.
01:06Let's get straight into it.
01:08Who needs one?
01:08I'll tell you what, Elon Musk needs an intervention, doesn't he?
01:12Yes, he does.
01:12Look, the Tesla fine, but his surname, Musk, it's my favourite lolly flavour.
01:17And so, because I've got a great imagination, I keep thinking, does he have a willy like a musk stick?
01:24And if he does, it's no longer my favourite lolly flavour.
01:28There you go, someone had to say it.
01:31What about the avatars from the Avatar movie?
01:35Boo!
01:35You're just a bunch of stuck-up smurfs.
01:39On a zimping.
01:40Yeah.
01:41Get off the gear and get cracking.
01:43Who else do you think?
01:44Oh, sourdough bread.
01:46Sourdough?
01:46No, I've had a gutful.
01:47If you can't put a snag in you at Bunnings, you're not bread.
01:50That's right.
01:51You're a poor man's baguette.
01:53That's all I've got to say.
01:54But what about dog shows?
01:56What about some events the dogs can enjoy?
01:58Like, I don't know, licking your own balls.
02:00Yeah.
02:01Getting the lipstick out.
02:04You know what I'm saying?
02:05So much to intervene against.
02:07Yes.
02:07What about this one?
02:08Paper straws.
02:10We are having a gutful.
02:12Thanks for ruining my smoothies.
02:14I can't give a shit about the sea turtles.
02:16Give me back some plastic.
02:18What is the natural enemy of paper?
02:20Water.
02:21That's why they don't put drinks in paper bags.
02:23One more to go.
02:25Oh.
02:25Oh boy.
02:26Pandas.
02:27Pandas.
02:27Always talking about their fertility.
02:29They're only fertile for 10 minutes a year.
02:31Come on.
02:32Get some oysters into you.
02:33Crank up the Barry White and get down to it.
02:36That's why you haven't got a style named after you.
02:39There's dog style.
02:39There's not panda style.
02:42Panda style is this.
02:45Someone has to come in and push their bottom up and down.
02:47Come on, pandas.
02:49All right.
02:49You've worked up a sweat.
02:50We have indeed.
02:51I think we're ready to go.
02:53Now it's time, as you may have realised, Glenn's not with us.
02:56Because as always, he's out hunting down tonight's celebrity intervention subject.
03:02And as you know, he has to find them and bring them back to the studio by tricking them into
03:07it.
03:07Using a canny ruse.
03:09Let's cross out live and see what Glenn's up to.
03:13Over there is Jim Jeffries.
03:16Let's see how we go.
03:19Jim.
03:20Glenn?
03:21Glenn Robbins.
03:22G'day, mate.
03:23How are you?
03:23Good to see you.
03:25What are you doing?
03:25Got an appointment.
03:26Appointment for what?
03:28My neck.
03:28Oh, you've got a bad neck.
03:30You've got to go to the chiro.
03:32Long flight.
03:32Bad neck.
03:33The old cervical displacement air pressure.
03:36Cervical?
03:37I was an acupressurist back in the 80s.
03:39Worked in LA.
03:40Just follow my fingers with your eyes.
03:41What are we doing?
03:42Just trust me.
03:43Follow my fingers with your eyes.
03:46You're feeling good.
03:47You're feeling nice and relaxed.
03:48Trust me.
03:49Trust me.
03:49You're touching me, Glenn.
03:50Just trust me now.
03:52And away you go.
03:55Your C2 and your C3 are now back in position.
03:59And I bow to you for that.
04:02You do need a little bit more work.
04:04I reckon you come back to my place.
04:06No.
04:06Come back to my place.
04:07I've got a bed.
04:08I've got towels.
04:08I've got oils.
04:09I've got cups.
04:10I've got needles.
04:11Just pop in the back.
04:12Don't ask any questions.
04:14It's gone again.
04:15Okay.
04:15Just relax.
04:16Nice and easy.
04:17Pop it in down there.
04:18What sort of pants are you wearing?
04:20Just denim.
04:20Just normal jeans.
04:22Do they come off easily?
04:25Jim Jeffries has been doing it.
04:28Jim Jeffries.
04:29Wow.
04:30Probably the greatest stand-up this country's ever produced.
04:33And let's be honest, there's a bit going on that needs work.
04:37Yeah, we've got to have a chat to him.
04:38And he needs an intervention.
04:40He does indeed.
04:41Obviously, you've got to take them a while to get back.
04:43It looked like a city hotel.
04:45Oh, hey, they're here right now.
04:46Make it welcome.
04:47It's Jim Jeffries.
04:52Hello.
04:54Hello.
04:55Thanks for coming.
04:58Sit down.
04:59You know Glenn?
05:00Yes.
05:01I met Glenn.
05:04It's okay.
05:06It's okay.
05:07It's okay.
05:07How are you, Jim?
05:08I'm...
05:08It's great to see you.
05:09I'm surprised.
05:10We wish it was under better circumstances because, obviously, there's a bit of work to
05:14be done here tonight.
05:15Jim, you're here because we love you, man.
05:17We love you.
05:18We care.
05:18But I don't even know you.
05:21I've just met this one.
05:22I know you a bit.
05:23Yeah, but we're the closest friends you have.
05:26So, Jim, there's a bit to work through, but I thought we'd start with the big one.
05:30Okay.
05:30And let's get this out of the system first.
05:32Straight off the bat, I need to ask you this.
05:35Why do you and your fans hate each other so much?
05:37What?
05:38Me and my fans?
05:38You and your fans hate each other.
05:40It's a pattern of behaviour that's been going on for some time, and I'm going to take
05:43you back many years to your time in Manchester, which was the canary in the coal mine.
05:47When this incident happened live on stage, we should have tipped this as a red flag.
05:52Okay.
05:53It's pushing it inwards.
05:55Where do you...
05:55Oh, hang on.
06:00Yeah, yeah.
06:06That's hard to watch.
06:08Yeah, I find those memories hard, actually.
06:10I should point out that's a traditional welcome to country in Manchester.
06:15There's nothing that wrong with it.
06:17What are your memories of that?
06:18Because you look like you're being chased by a bee.
06:20I was living in Manchester at the time.
06:22I had somebody heckling.
06:24There was a woman over there heckling, and I put her down several times.
06:28And then I had a closing line that I've used often, which is, I'm going to leave you alone
06:33now, like your dad did.
06:35Right?
06:36Anyway, a guy over here had some issues with his father that hadn't been resolved.
06:43He was an Irishman, and I know this because he didn't punch me right away.
06:47Yeah.
06:47It turns out he finished his drink.
06:50So he sat for a little bit longer, finished his drink, and then he ran up.
06:53And if you see the first bit of the footage, I go, oh, hang on, mate.
06:55I thought he was looking for the bathroom.
06:57You know what I mean?
06:58And then I get the punch to the head, and then in my brain I was fighting back really
07:02good, but now watching the footage, I'm pretty sure I just cowered for most of it.
07:07And then the lovely people in Manchester came up and actually saved me.
07:11Now, every time I go to Manchester, I think we saw four or five people, if I'm in a bar
07:15in Manchester, someone will come up to me and go, I was the guy who came up and saved
07:20you.
07:20I've bought about 40 pints in Manchester for all the different people who saved me.
07:25I get out, I go down, I go into the dressing room.
07:28The other comic on is Michael McIntyre.
07:30Now, neither me or Michael were anybody in the industry back in 2006.
07:34And Michael was watching the footage of it happening on the TV in the dressing room.
07:39And as he's watching it, he hears me coming.
07:41I've got me black eye, and I'm swearing in the hallway.
07:43He hears me coming, so he changes the channel.
07:45And I walk in, he's just watching snooker.
07:49And I come in the room, and he doesn't even turn around.
07:52He just goes, how did it go?
07:56And I said, not good, Michael.
07:58I just got punched in the head.
07:59And he went, no one can follow me.
08:04Something for me that is incredulous in that story is that an Irishman who was drunk
08:10resorted to violence.
08:11That's never happened.
08:13The security caught him, and they took him backstage.
08:16And then they said, oh, do you want to press charges?
08:19And I looked at the footage, and I said, I think I'll make more money out of the footage.
08:23Just lock him up for the night.
08:25But thank God, this was 2006.
08:26This was before camera phones.
08:27Yeah, right.
08:28Right.
08:28Because if there were other angles, you would have saw the joke that I said before, and
08:31you probably wouldn't be on my side.
08:34Well, we're glad you're here, and we're glad you're talking about it.
08:37Someone else who's here, of course, he's here tonight.
08:40The guy from Manchester, he's in the crowd.
08:42No.
08:43There he is.
08:44No.
08:45Oh, if I'm reading the body language.
08:47Geez, that is him.
08:47Made up with your dad, mate?
08:50Don't bite.
08:51Don't bite.
08:52Don't bite.
08:53We're going to watch this as the episode goes on.
08:54Maybe we can all heal a little bit tonight.
08:56A little bit together.
08:57We're going to go to a break.
08:58Okay.
08:59More Jim Jeffries in just a moment.
09:00You're doing good, mate.
09:01You're doing good, mate.
09:17Welcome back to Glendale Myths Celebrity Intervention with our special guest Jim Jeffries.
09:22You did very well, Jim.
09:23You seem to be confronting it head on.
09:25I want to improve.
09:26You do want to improve.
09:27There's a bit of improving to do.
09:29By the way, in our research, we found out that wasn't the first time you've been punched
09:33on stage.
09:34Do you remember your appearance on Vidiot?
09:36Well, I punched him.
09:38Oh, Geoffrey threw you off there.
09:41You can get him after the show.
09:43Yeah, get him now.
09:45That's it.
09:45All right.
09:46Hang on a minute.
09:49Wow.
09:49That was my friend, Sebastian Bobois.
09:52He was from the...
09:54I haven't seen that footage since I was...
09:56That was Dwayne McLean, the D-Train, was the other...
10:00Was the guest who played for the Sydney King.
10:02I won so much shit on Vidiot.
10:05I won a voucher of movie tickets to Hoyts.
10:08Right.
10:08And I won a TV, a video...
10:11I went through several episodes.
10:13I won it all.
10:14You carry over champ.
10:15No, I lost the final episode that was going to give me a camcorder, like a big thing like
10:19that.
10:19It was brilliant.
10:21Yeah, it was...
10:21I was 14 years old.
10:22Let's take a look at that little kid up there.
10:25What happened to him?
10:27What happened to that beautiful, beautiful little boy?
10:30His teeth just became good on their own.
10:35And you got a little bowl cut, so...
10:37Yeah, yeah.
10:38Obviously, that was my favourite outfit.
10:40I'm on TV.
10:40That must have been my best type of billabong jumper.
10:44I was ready to go.
10:45No, that was brilliant, Vidiot.
10:47I'll tell you about Vidiot, right?
10:48So the first episode, you play with kids from your school.
10:50They come down to school, they audition you, and then they go on.
10:53The next...
10:53If you win, like, the Monday through the Thursday, on the Thursday, you get to play with the other
10:57kids that have won from the other school.
10:59And none of the girls at my school liked me because they knew me.
11:04Now, these girls that were on the next episode, right, they were having fun.
11:09Plus, I had a wad of movie tickets.
11:12I'd won all these movie tickets.
11:14So I was like, oh, I can't go to the movies by myself.
11:17Fantastic.
11:18So I took one of them to Strictly Ballroom.
11:22And we snogged all day, and there was Strictly Ballroom.
11:26And the rest is history.
11:28Now, that's another point of intervention here, but we wanted to know...
11:31We were discussing this off.
11:32Are you a bit of a fraud?
11:35Is that...
11:37I'm going to take that with a grain of insult.
11:40Well, what I mean is you present yourself as an edgy, young comic, and you're on the edge,
11:45and you're pretty angsty, but your background is quite different.
11:49Did you or did you not come up through WAPA, which is a school for theatre, musical theatre...
11:55And opera.
11:56And opera.
11:57Is that where you come from?
11:59I will have you know that Hugh Jackman went to WAPA, and he's bloody Wolverine,
12:04so stop trying to make me seem like some type of wimp.
12:06If it's good enough for Wolverine, it's good enough...
12:09Yeah, so I did...
12:10What was your forte?
12:12None of it.
12:13I did singing and dancing.
12:14I wasn't good at school.
12:15I failed school.
12:17The only way I was going to get to university is through auditioning.
12:19So I went and sang a song in front of a...
12:21It was like an Australian Idol.
12:23You go and sing in front of a few people, then you do a monologue,
12:26and then you're off at WAPA, right?
12:28And it was great.
12:29It was over in Western Australia, cheap to live there back then.
12:32And it was just like being in fame.
12:34Every day you would be singing and dancing.
12:37Let's have a look at you in action.
12:39There we go.
12:41Yeah, it looks very highbrow.
12:44Here you are.
12:45I think this is your first invitation to the Met Gala.
12:48What are you doing there?
12:50What's that?
12:50That's actually...
12:51That was an opera...
12:52That's a professional production for the Australian Opera of Romeo and Juliet.
12:56Oh, wow.
12:57And that was, I assume, a masquerade party.
13:00I...
13:00Did you make your own costume?
13:01I...
13:03And did you mind looking like a fuckwit?
13:09What have we got here?
13:10I'm...
13:11What are you doing here?
13:11That's a...
13:12That's after the interval.
13:13That's a different scene.
13:14Looks like you're about to tie someone to a railway track.
13:17I'll tell you...
13:17I'll tell you what we don't have there.
13:19A real moustache.
13:21I was about 18 there.
13:23That hadn't really grown in, but...
13:24We've got another photo here.
13:26Can we have a quick look at this?
13:27Yeah.
13:28Oh, this is the first time you punched a cone?
13:30Yeah.
13:33You look like John Mayer's nerdy twin brother.
13:35Yeah.
13:36Lawrence, you went to drama school.
13:38Yeah, I went to the National Theatre Drama School.
13:39Did three years of movement.
13:41I was actually quite a good dancer.
13:42Right.
13:42And one of my signature moves, I perfected this at the Manhattan in Ringwood.
13:46It's called...
13:51It's called...
13:52We're all going there afterwards.
13:54OK.
13:54Yeah.
13:55We've got a minibus outside.
13:56It's called Double Trouble.
14:05Do we actually...
14:08Do people actually understand the joke you made there?
14:11I didn't understand it.
14:12Really?
14:13I can tell you what, it never worked.
14:16Can I ask you, you had some killer moves back in the day, did you not?
14:20I...
14:20Look, I don't want...
14:21I can teach you how to do the killer move.
14:23In the wrong hands it can...
14:24Sure.
14:25...get people in trouble, but I do a move where...
14:27Don't try this at home.
14:28You're on the dance floor, you pretend you've got a toffee,
14:31and it's not opened, you put it down the back of your pants,
14:34and then you've got to open the toffee with your arse.
14:36So it's like this.
14:47And then you chew it.
14:48And then you chew it.
14:49Do you...
14:50Do you feel like you're back at Whopper?
14:51What?
14:51Yeah, yeah.
14:52It's exactly the same feeling.
14:54Does it have to be a toffee?
14:55Can it be...
14:56Like, like, does a minty wrapper work?
14:58Oh, a minty wrapper would work.
14:59Oh, minty would work.
15:00Yeah, yeah.
15:01Looks like he's trying to undo a fanta.
15:02You'd actually have a red skin after that.
15:07While we're heading down the fraud track,
15:09there's someone else who wants to be heard.
15:12Rhys Darby.
15:13What's Rhys?
15:14Oh, hey.
15:15Just leaning up against the cupboard there.
15:17Rhys Darby here, and as a New Zealander,
15:19I'm used to one thing.
15:21Australians claiming our things as their own.
15:24From Farlap, to Russell Crowe, to the Pavlova.
15:27That one's two herds, guys.
15:29And what are you putting strawberries on it for?
15:31You're not supposed to do that.
15:33Anywho, Jim Jeffries, which isn't even his real name,
15:37you have done something even weirder.
15:40Yeah.
15:40You've pretended to be a New Zealander and got caught.
15:43Now that's just wrong.
15:45Yeah.
15:45It feels like stolen valour, mate.
15:48It's actually unnatural, like kissing your sister,
15:52which you Aussies can take credit for all on your own.
15:56You're right.
15:58Now?
15:58He's referring to what's he referring to there.
16:01Yeah.
16:01So me and Rhys, we started out in London together.
16:04Yep.
16:05So 25 years ago we were working together.
16:08There was an incident.
16:09Okay.
16:10I'm living in England, right, doing stand-up,
16:12and Australia loses the World Cup in rugby.
16:16Johnny Wilkinson kicks that goal.
16:18I remember.
16:19Right.
16:19Tough day for us all.
16:20Then about a year later, we lose the Ashes, right?
16:23Greatest Ashes series ever.
16:25But we lose.
16:27And then my life was a misery, right?
16:29Yes it was.
16:29So every time I get on stage, the British, like lovely people,
16:34great losers, terrible winners.
16:36The worst winners that ever worked.
16:38I hope they never win another thing again,
16:40and I think my wish will come true.
16:42Anyway, so every time I get on stage they're like this,
16:46they're like, Johnny Wilkinson, the Ashes, the Ashes.
16:51I couldn't get a joke out for a year.
16:53For a year.
16:54For a year everyone went, Johnny Wilkinson, the Ashes.
16:55One time I'm in London, I'm doing five gigs that night,
16:58I end up one o'clock in the morning doing the London Comedy Store,
17:01last gig of the night, I've heard Johnny Wilkinson, the Ashes,
17:04Johnny Wilkinson, the Ashes.
17:05I say to the MC, I said, I can't handle this anymore.
17:08Tell them I'm from New Zealand.
17:11I said, I don't want to put up with this.
17:13They go, please welcome to the stage all the way from New Zealand,
17:16Jim Jefferies.
17:17And I'm having a great gig for the first time in a long time.
17:20I have the audience in the palm of my hand.
17:23No problems.
17:24Every joke is hitting.
17:25I have to change a few lines like, you know,
17:27growing up in New Zealand, little things like that.
17:30That harbour bridge in Auckland.
17:32Yeah.
17:34In the third row there's a rather large Maori fella.
17:37He's there.
17:38And I went, you know, growing up in New Zealand,
17:40and all I hear is this, not true.
17:45And I was like, no, no, no, no.
17:49I go, anyway, New Zealand.
17:51And I hear, bullshit.
17:54Right?
17:54And he doesn't even say a protest.
17:56He just stands up and he goes, he goes,
18:00he's not from New Zealand.
18:01He's an Australian.
18:02I'm going to go for piss.
18:03Right?
18:05And the audience...
18:07Now they know.
18:08Not only did we lose the Ashes, not only did we lose the rugby,
18:12but I was lying convict scum and they booed me off the stage
18:18and I was just like, good night, everyone.
18:20God bless New Zealand.
18:21And Rhys was in the audience and he's never let me bloody forget it.
18:24There's something else in there that we noticed.
18:25He said it's not your real name.
18:27Yeah.
18:27What's that about?
18:29What's going on?
18:30You mean you changed it to Jim Jefferies?
18:32It turns out that having an alliterated name, Mick Molloy,
18:35it sounds better.
18:36Sure.
18:37Right?
18:38And, okay, so...
18:39Is that your real name?
18:40It is my real name.
18:42It's actually my dancing name.
18:44Yeah, yeah.
18:44But I use it...
18:46You look like you have more of a, like, Croatian-y,
18:48sort of, Greek sort of vending...
18:50But Molloyoski.
18:52I'm in the witness protection scheme.
18:54Okay, so...
18:55The big reveal.
18:56So, okay, so my real name is Geoffrey James Nugent
19:01and it's Geoffrey with a G.
19:04And Nugent's spelled N-U-G-E-N-T
19:06and James is my middle name.
19:08So I changed it to Geoffrey James for one show
19:11and then I changed it to Jim Jefferies.
19:12And the reason I did that, I was 17
19:15and I was doing an open mic at the Manly Boat Shed in Sydney.
19:19Yep.
19:20Adam Hills was emceeing.
19:22Never heard of him.
19:23Yeah.
19:25He was only a young man as well.
19:27I think he had both legs back then.
19:31And, uh...
19:32Oh, boy.
19:34There's a drive-by for Hillsy.
19:36Anyway, so he welcomed me on the stage
19:39and he looked at his bit of paper
19:41and he said,
19:42please welcome Godfrey Nugent.
19:45And I was like, Godfrey Nugent?
19:47That's not...
19:48That's gotta go.
19:49Yeah, that one's not gonna...
19:50It doesn't look good on a banner.
19:52Godfrey Nugent.
19:53So I changed it to Geoffrey James
19:54and then Jim Jefferies
19:55because Geoffrey James sounds too much like Jesse James
19:57or something like that.
19:58And then Jim Jefferies.
19:58But I haven't gone by that name
20:00and I've kept that a secret for, uh, 30 years
20:03and I appreciate that, mate.
20:04So, is there a little part of you
20:06that protects young Geoffrey Nugent?
20:09I...
20:09That's...
20:10Because Geoffrey Nugent is a nerd.
20:12Yeah, exactly.
20:13Exactly.
20:14But he won Buddy Vidiot.
20:16Did your parents make you change your name
20:18because they saw your act
20:19and just went,
20:20please...
20:21Please don't be on Nugent.
20:22I'll be honest with you.
20:23At one stage I was like,
20:24if the opera singing and musical theatre career
20:26takes off,
20:27you'll be Geoffrey Nugent.
20:28If me saying the C word a lot takes off,
20:30I'll be Jim Jefferies
20:31and it just so happens it went the other way.
20:33Can you hang around Godfrey?
20:35I...
20:35Can you hang around?
20:36We've got some more to work through.
20:38I can't hang around Jim every day.
20:41Hang around Jim.
20:42We'll be back with Jim Jefferies in just a moment.
20:43Fantastic.
20:44Very fantastic.
20:46I think we'll be right back.
20:57You've done a very good job.
20:59Welcome back to Glenn and Mitch Celebrity Intervention
21:01with my co-host Lawrence Mooney.
21:03You're doing a great job.
21:04I'm really enjoying this
21:05and I think that we're making some great progress, Jim.
21:07We are.
21:07I'm nervous.
21:09There's a lot of secrets that have come out now.
21:11Yeah.
21:12I'm not over the moon about it.
21:13I am concerned about one thing
21:15and that is your Hollywood lifestyle.
21:17I think it's changing who you were
21:19and let me remind you that I knew a young Jim Jefferies
21:22way back in 2001.
21:24We did a gig in Terrigal, New South Wales together.
21:28You laugh now.
21:31Because they weren't laughing then.
21:33Anyway.
21:34And then your parents drove us home.
21:37Someone had to.
21:38Yeah.
21:39I can't imagine we were sober for that show.
21:41I can't imagine that.
21:42But your parents were giving you feedback.
21:44Yeah.
21:45About not swearing on stage.
21:47Yes.
21:47And you swore a lot in that car.
21:50Yeah.
21:50My parents weren't very positive about me doing stand-up.
21:54My dad more so than my mother.
21:57My mother sadly passed away five years ago.
22:01And it's very sad because she didn't live long enough to see my father happy.
22:05She missed it by a couple of days.
22:12And she just held on.
22:15She just held on.
22:16She just held on.
22:17She just held on.
22:17She just missed it.
22:18It was bloody terrible.
22:19Yeah.
22:19But my mother, I remember because I was saying the C word.
22:26I might say it on this show.
22:27You can.
22:27Channel 7.
22:28You can.
22:28You can.
22:29Okay.
22:29So I was saying **** on stage.
22:31And, um.
22:32Oh, that's C word.
22:33Oh.
22:34I thought the C word was Channel 7.
22:39Anyway, I said it on stage at a gig when I was, you know, 18 or something like that.
22:44And, uh, my old PE teacher was Mr. Rod Hartnett.
22:48My mother was a school teacher at the school.
22:50He glassed me up the prick.
22:51He went the next day and he said, oh, you were saying see this and see that.
22:55And my mum came home so furious.
22:56And I went, Mum, I would never.
22:59I don't know why you'd say such a thing.
23:01So I guess I am a fraud.
23:03No.
23:03And by the way, Rod's a ****.
23:05Yeah.
23:07That's what you say when you're doing that.
23:09But you.
23:11Remember me, Mr. Hartnett?
23:13Eric.
23:13You've transitioned from that sweet boy swearing at your parents in the car.
23:17Geoffrey Nugent, yep.
23:17To now rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous in Hollywood.
23:20And we're worried that it's just changing you.
23:22You've gone more Hollywood than Peter Allen.
23:24You have got a very close friend who is probably one of the most famous people in the world at
23:29the moment.
23:30Yes.
23:30She's concerned about you.
23:31Oh, I thought you were going to say someone different.
23:34Lisa Vanderpump.
23:35I love, look, I love Lisa.
23:37I love Lisa Vanderpump.
23:37You're great friends.
23:38That's a shirt that didn't fit my neck anymore.
23:41But that's me at her dog charity.
23:44I met Lisa.
23:45I did one of her podcasts once.
23:47And then she said, oh, you must come over to Villa Rosa, which is her home with all the ponies
23:53and the swans and all the dogs and everything.
23:55Wow.
23:55And I said, oh, yeah, I'll get right on that.
23:57And I told my wife.
23:57My wife is like, we're going.
23:59That's Lisa Vanderpump.
24:00My wife's favorite, you know, like housewife.
24:04So we went over the house and me and Lisa get on like a house on fire.
24:08And I seriously, we call each other up every couple of days and have a long chat.
24:12And I love Lisa with all my heart.
24:14And anyone who wants to say anything bad about Lisa Vanderpump has to come through me first.
24:18All right.
24:18Well, I'll tell you what, she may have a few bad things to say about you.
24:25Jim Jeffries.
24:26Oh, yes, Jim.
24:28I used to love Jim.
24:29Jim Jeffries, great guy.
24:32Then he came over here and he just got carried away with himself.
24:35I mean, I can't really explain it, but I mean, he's gone so Hollywood.
24:39If I think he's too Hollywood, you know he's too Hollywood, right?
24:45I mean, all he talks about is Brad Pitt, Brad this, Brad that.
24:50I think over there, what he used to be like, you would have called him like a bowman or something.
24:56But now, I mean, he's more plastic than my bloody credit card.
25:01I'm not saying something.
25:03Well, there's a couple of accusations in there that we're going to see.
25:09So, I'm a big, I'm with you.
25:11I'm a big.
25:12You're a fan?
25:13I'm a big fan of Linda.
25:14No, it's Lisa.
25:16No, it's Linda.
25:17It's Lisa Vanderpump.
25:18It's Linda Vanderpump.
25:19It's Lisa Vanderpump.
25:21Lisa Vanderpump.
25:22Lisa Vanderpump.
25:23Lisa Vanderpump.
25:23LBB.
25:25Yes.
25:25I've got a problem, because I, um, I, uh, I don't know what you're talking about.
25:31No, Liz.
25:38I'm amazed that Toffee didn't fall out.
25:43I hope he never goes to prison.
25:46Because you will be Vanderpump.
25:47Yeah, you know.
25:48So Brad Pitt, what happens with Brad Pitt?
25:50So, you hang out with Brad Pitt, he's a major.
25:53Now I'm in trouble for mentioning Brad Pitt.
25:55Now you're asking me about Brad Pitt.
25:56I want you to tell me, what's your relationship with Brad Pitt like?
25:58Brad, Brad was, aw.
26:03Now I'm going to look like I'm name dropping.
26:05What about the bloke from, yeah, he's not looking happy.
26:07No, really?
26:09The bloke from Manchester's had enough.
26:10He's a, he's a, he's.
26:12So Brad, Brad was the weatherman on my TV show in America.
26:18I had a TV show called The Jim Jeffery Show.
26:20It was a great show.
26:20And he was, he was my weatherman.
26:22And he would come on and read the weather.
26:24We've got a clip.
26:25Let's take a look.
26:26Here's our own Jim Jeffery Show weatherman.
26:29How's it looking out there, weatherman?
26:31Thank you, Jim.
26:32Thank you, Jim.
26:33So things are going to be getting warmer in this area here and this area here.
26:41Thank you, Jim Jeffery Show weatherman.
26:44Do you have any future forecast for us?
26:47There is no future.
26:49There is.
26:50OK, so.
26:51That is huge.
26:52Can I just say, I am a very big fan of Bill Pitt.
26:59I think it is.
27:00No, it's Brad Pitt.
27:02It's Brad Pitt.
27:02It's Brad Pitt.
27:03It's Brad Pitt.
27:04Oh, boy.
27:05It's Brad Pitt.
27:06It's Brad Pitt.
27:07Oh, no.
27:09It's done it again.
27:12Get the other fans as well.
27:15Hey.
27:16Hang on.
27:16Are you on TV?
27:17You're not allowed to show name brands.
27:20Just before we hear about Brad Pitt, we asked him to be on the show.
27:22He sent us this.
27:23It just goes, to whom it may concern.
27:26How did you get in touch with Brad Pitt?
27:29You can imagine my excitement when I got your email asking me to share a message for Jim
27:34Jefferies.
27:35You'll have to imagine because there was none.
27:39Going on Jim's show was the biggest regret of my life and I was in Legends of the Fall.
27:44No regards, Brad Pitt.
27:46Anyway, that's from Brad.
27:49So, how did you meet him?
27:50How did you get him on your show?
27:53Brad came to one of my shows, my stand-up shows during COVID because he could wear a
27:58face mask because COVID was happening.
28:01So, he walked into the room, he walked all the way down the aisle and then he sat in
28:05the front row and took his mask off and no one knew Brad Pitt.
28:08Did you know it was Brad Pitt?
28:08Yeah, I had an erection the whole time.
28:12No, sorry, so he, so, so, so then Brad said he'd be on my show as the weatherman and if
28:18you cut back to that picture of him in the linen suit, that was the suit that he wore,
28:23right?
28:23So, that was an Italian linen suit.
28:25He did the show four times.
28:27Then my show gets cancelled.
28:29Why?
28:30Because everything does.
28:32This show.
28:33You'll find out in three episodes.
28:37Right?
28:39Anyway, so.
28:40That's hopeful.
28:41So, they're clearing out my office and literally they've got like the razor blade scraping my
28:47name off the door, off the glass window, right?
28:49And one of the girls from wardrobe comes in and she goes, I have Brad Pitt's suit.
28:55I could take it over to his house if you like.
28:58And I'm like this.
28:59Oh, I'll take it.
29:00Like that, right?
29:00Because I still get starstruck around Brad, right?
29:02And so, I ring Brad up and I said, oh Brad, I've got your suit.
29:06Would you like me to bring it over?
29:07And he said, just give it to charity.
29:10Like, fuck, I was going to give it to charity.
29:13Now, I'm a little bit larger than Brad.
29:16I don't have the same physique.
29:17I put the suit on.
29:19I'm standing in my room.
29:19I look like Pee Wee Herm in the sleeve.
29:22Like this.
29:22I'm in the little suit.
29:23Didn't fit me, but I packed it all up.
29:26And for Christmas under the tree, I had Brad Pitt's suit.
29:30And I gave it to my then 80-year-old father.
29:32And I said, there you go.
29:33There's a suit.
29:34And it fit him perfectly.
29:35And I go, Dad, that's Brad Pitt's suit.
29:38And my dad goes, who's Brad Pitt?
29:41And I show him the photo on my phone.
29:43I go, there he is wearing the suit.
29:45Right?
29:45And he goes, get me a laminated version of that photo to fit in the top breast pocket.
29:51Right?
29:52My dad doesn't have a phone or anything like that.
29:54So now when he takes women on dates, he wears the Brad Pitt suit.
30:00And he goes, if they start to lose interest, I bloody whip it out.
30:05I whip it out.
30:06And he goes, and they're back in.
30:08And he goes, and you know what?
30:09They always know who he is.
30:13That is good.
30:13That is true.
30:14That is true.
30:14That is true.
30:16That is true.
30:17That is true.
30:17Now the other thing, Lisa, or Linda in your case, referred to was your cosmetic surgery.
30:21Said you had more plastic than a credit card.
30:23True or false?
30:24You've had some work done.
30:27I've had the teeth.
30:29I've had the teeth.
30:51That's the difference reduction.
30:53It was necessary.
30:55Well, you've got the big ones out of the way.
30:58So Mick, you have had some work as well.
31:02I've had two chins added.
31:04And I've got fake love handles.
31:06But that's fine to buy.
31:07How's our friend from Manchester going?
31:09You're loosening up a bit?
31:10You're still seething?
31:12Well, he looks like he's seething.
31:13Jeez.
31:14I don't know what you've done here.
31:15There's a bit of work to go.
31:16Hang about.
31:17We're going to come back with more Jim Jefferies in just a moment.
31:33You're fantastic.
31:34I think they're getting somewhere.
31:35We're doing well.
31:36Welcome back to Gwen and Nick's Celebrity Intervention with our guest Jim Jefferies.
31:41You're doing well, mate.
31:42You seem to be coming along.
31:43I feel like I'm improving as a...
31:44Oh, yeah.
31:48OK.
31:49We're going to go deep now.
31:50We've had some friends and some colleagues.
31:53We haven't gone deep enough.
31:54I feel like we've gone deep enough.
31:55We'd like to get some family involved.
31:57And we thought we'd hear from your wonderful wife, Taisy.
32:02Hi, everybody.
32:03Jim needs an intervention for his fear of bananas.
32:08He doesn't just, like, hate the idea of eating a banana.
32:13He can't physically be near a banana.
32:16He can't be in a room with, like, banana wallpaper.
32:20And that's been my dream for so long, to have a room covered in banana wallpaper.
32:25I would also like to enjoy a banoffee pie with him someday.
32:29And I think he would actually like banana if he tried it.
32:32I don't think he's even ever tasted it.
32:34He's just repulsed by them.
32:35So, please, help him overcome his fear of bananas.
32:40All right.
32:41Now, hang on.
32:43Just before we get to that, can we address the elephant in the room?
32:46Yes, yes.
32:47You are batting way out of your league.
32:49What is going on now?
32:51Smart, funny, beautiful.
32:53Taisy is amazing.
32:54How did you reign that?
32:57What did you pull?
32:58What card did you play to get that woman to fall in love with this?
33:03I met my wife on a dating app, as many people do, or many people met her.
33:09No, I met my wife on a dating app, and I went on one date with her, and it went
33:14okay.
33:16And my wife's obviously British.
33:18Yes.
33:19And we were going out in L.A., and she was, like, into me, but not really.
33:23I wasn't going to get a second date.
33:25She liked me.
33:26She thought I was nice enough.
33:27And then I told her that I gave Piers Morgan the finger on the Bill Maher show.
33:33Yes.
33:33Which I did.
33:34I was all drunk and maybe other things, and I got really over-
33:37I got really overexcited on live TV, and I went,
33:41at Piers Morgan.
33:42Well, hang on a second.
33:43We've got that footage right here.
33:44Let's take a look.
33:45Let me fuck off.
33:46I'm getting a fucking Muslim, babe.
33:48Let me fuck off.
33:51Let me fuck off.
33:56Let me fuck off.
33:58Let me fuck off.
33:58Let me fuck off.
33:58Let me fuck off.
33:58And so what happened was, it was during Trump's first bit of his administration,
34:03he started banning certain people from coming in to the country, and all that type of stuff.
34:07And I said, I went, I went, I'm like, this is really Hitler stuff.
34:11And then Piers clutched his pearls, and he said, how dare you?
34:15I gave Piers the finger, and then my wife, I told her the story, and she goes, oh, I watched
34:20that.
34:21I watched that.
34:22And she rang her mum up, and she goes, she goes, mummy, because that's how British people talk.
34:27She goes, mummy.
34:29She goes, I'm with the guy who told Piers Morgan to fuck off.
34:34And that guy, that's the line.
34:36Love at first finger.
34:37And what?
34:41Now, let's tack on into it.
34:43Bananas.
34:43What's the deal with bananas?
34:45I don't.
34:45Why do you hate bananas?
34:47I don't.
34:48Would you, if we had bananas here on Saturday night, how would you be upset?
34:52No, I don't.
34:52I'm not scared of bananas.
34:53I just don't like to be in the same.
34:55I don't like to be in the same.
34:57Would that be a problem?
34:59Sorry.
35:01Sorry.
35:02That's a.
35:04You've got to worry, it's exposure therapy.
35:06It's exposure therapy.
35:08Yeah, we're not doing this for our.
35:10No, that really does quite upset me.
35:11It doesn't.
35:12No, it's not.
35:13I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, look.
35:18It's upsetting me now.
35:20Remove the banana, please.
35:22It's got, it's, it's the black dots on the bloody thing.
35:24It's, it's, it's, I, I.
35:25It's bruised.
35:26A green, yeah, a green one I can handle.
35:29What about, what about lolly bananas?
35:32I've never eaten one of them.
35:33You've never eaten one of those?
35:33No, I'm not, I'm not eating one of them.
35:35No.
35:35Get the fuck out of you.
35:37You've got to, is that, is that what you've seen?
35:39I once had a banana paddle pop by mistake, thinking it was a vanilla one.
35:43No, it was instant.
35:44I, I, I've never eaten, but, oh, God.
35:48Is that, is that, has that been, has that been above me the whole time?
35:50It's the whole time.
35:51The, the, the, the banana of Damocles.
35:54The banana boat.
35:55Yeah, I'm alright with that.
35:57I'm alright with that because I'm pale.
35:59I have to put up with some things.
36:00What if we showed you a picture of Bananarama?
36:03Is that, is that, is that difficult for you?
36:07No, I'm, I'm alright with that.
36:08Hello.
36:10Hello.
36:10Get out of it.
36:11I just, it's, it's called the fruiterer.
36:15What about the Big Bananas?
36:17Would you ever go take, pay a visit to the Big Bananas?
36:19My parents would go to the Big Bananas or I'd stay outside the Big Bananas.
36:22I've never walked through the Big Bananas.
36:24Is it a terror?
36:25I feel really sick now.
36:26I honestly feel quite uneasy about the whole thing.
36:28You know what, my chin, don't, don't peel it, don't peel it.
36:31You don't, hey.
36:33I'm proud of you, don't do it.
36:35I'm not, I'm not.
36:37I'm not, no.
36:39Don't, stop it.
36:41Please.
36:42No, put it away, I'm not.
36:43No, I'm not, I'm not, no, no, no.
36:45I'm putting it away, I'm putting it away.
36:47It's going away.
36:49It's, it's, it's, it's the peeling.
36:51Right, I'll tell you what we'll do, Jim, we'll go to a break.
36:53We'll sort this out.
36:54Back with more intervention in just a moment.
37:07It was up there.
37:09We're not going to be up there.
37:10You don't need to worry.
37:11Welcome back to Glen and Vic's Celebrity Intervention, where we've just found out that Jim Jefferies
37:17has a phobia about bananas.
37:18And by the way, can I just say to our bloke from Manchester, in the future you don't have
37:23to punch him in the face, you can just peel a banana and chuck it.
37:27And you do it.
37:27And you don't.
37:27Do you remember that sketch, that Monty Python sketch, what do you do if someone attacks you
37:31with a banana, like that, and I'm like, that's fucking terrifying.
37:35Now, we're moving on.
37:36He also told us in the break, that was genuine.
37:38Yeah, that was, when he peeled it, I was alright with that one, and I was alright with the sweets,
37:43I was alright with the syntheticness of it, but, no, when he peeled it, and it had a brown
37:48spot at the top of it, and I saw it from a...
37:52Can we move on?
37:53We're nearly done here, but there's one more big topic.
37:55What's your beef with the village people?
37:57What is your beef with the village people?
38:00I don't have a problem with the village people.
38:01The village people have a problem with me.
38:03So, tell us what happened.
38:04Why are you guys getting to court?
38:06I was doing my podcast, and Trump was having his inauguration, and the village people played
38:11at the inauguration, and Trump did that dance that looks like he has two guys standing either
38:17side of him.
38:17The banana dance.
38:18Two bananas.
38:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
38:21Are coming in pairs.
38:257.30 time slot.
38:267.30.
38:28So, the village people said, isn't it funny that all these right-wing evangelical Christians
38:34are dancing to the YMCA a song about men having sex in the showers?
38:39But their song slaps.
38:40It's a banger.
38:41It's a banger.
38:42We know it's a banger.
38:43I love it.
38:44And I...
38:44So, I...
38:45You know, I said that the village people's music has gay overtones, right?
38:49The next day, I get a letter from Karen Willis.
38:54Yes.
38:54Karen Willis is a lawyer.
38:56Karen Willis is married to Victor Willis.
38:59Victor Willis is the cop from the village people.
39:03Right?
39:03And now that he's getting all that MAGA money and all that type of stuff, he is suing
39:07anyone for defamation if they say the village people are gay.
39:12Right.
39:12Uh, this is a hill I'm willing to die on.
39:15I...
39:16Are you saying that these people right here are gay?
39:22Yes.
39:23You're saying they're gay?
39:24No, they are not gay.
39:26You're out of your mind.
39:27Even the guy and the chaps?
39:29So, Victor Willis isn't gay.
39:31He says he's not gay.
39:32Well, you have to believe him.
39:33Yeah.
39:33Uh, but the...
39:35I assume the rest of them are.
39:36And where have you left?
39:37You're not in court anymore.
39:39Uh, so...
39:39So, if I keep on saying that the village people have gay overtones, they have promised to sue
39:45me, uh, so I rang up Karen.
39:47I apologised to her.
39:48I said, I said, if it's not about that, she said, uh, she goes, it's about men going to
39:53the YMCA and playing a bit of basketball.
39:54It doesn't mention basketball.
39:56At any stage, it never mentions, you can shoot me some hoops.
40:00None of that.
40:01And I said, all right, Karen, the YMCA isn't about homosexuality, but you have to give
40:07me in the Navy.
40:08You have to give me in the Navy.
40:11So, she's got a problem with you, but she hasn't got a problem with Wikipedia.
40:14They just describe it as a gay band from Greenwich Village, which they refer to as part of a gayberhood.
40:22Uh, and I've never heard the term gayberhood before.
40:25Well, I'm going to start using that term all the time, a gayberhood.
40:29I'll just apologise right now to the village people.
40:33I'm sorry I said such a horrible thing about you.
40:36I, I, it obviously isn't true.
40:38So.
40:39Well, that's going to, that's going to fix it.
40:42Can we have a look at that photo one more time, please?
40:45This is a totally heterosexual band.
40:47No gay overtones.
40:48No, no, no, no gay, don't.
40:49Macho man has no overtones.
40:52That looks like my indoor cricket team.
40:57YMCA and Macho Man was from the album Cruising.
41:00Is this, like, I'll just say this.
41:02If it does go to court and you're in the dock and they ask you, how do you plead?
41:05You should spell out, not guilty.
41:08We're going to be back with Jim Deathly for Big This Home in just a moment.
41:23Thank you so much.
41:27You've been great.
41:27Hold your hand here just a second.
41:29There it is.
41:30Great.
41:31You've, you've really done well, Jim.
41:32Jim Jeffries, of course, our special guest tonight on Glenn and Mick's Celebrity Intervention.
41:37How do you think you've gone?
41:38Have you learned anything?
41:39Look, I want to thank you guys.
41:41Yeah.
41:41For setting me straight.
41:42It's been a big deal for me.
41:44It has.
41:44Mick, over the years, you've been a hero of mine.
41:47I've watched you on TV for years.
41:49I've worshipped you as a young man.
41:51Oh, wow.
41:52You're literally my favourite comedian.
41:54Lawrence, we worked together.
41:56Glenn, you've been on TV.
42:02And we've come full circle.
42:03We've come full circle.
42:04When I was a young comic starting out in Perth, when I was out in Whopper and all that type
42:08of stuff, I was, I had a gig in the Claremont Hotel at the top there.
42:14It was good because I had this gig and I was out there flyering, trying to push my gig so
42:19I could get some stage time.
42:20Yeah, of course.
42:21And you were there, Mick.
42:23I was.
42:23I was, I don't remember.
42:24You were as drunk as I've ever seen a human being in my entire life.
42:28It doesn't sound like that.
42:31With a girl who was far out of your league.
42:34And I went up and I said, Mick, I said, can you come and perform at my comedy club tomorrow?
42:40And you said, ring me tomorrow.
42:41I'll see what I can do.
42:42And then I gave you one of the flyers and I said, will you sign this for me?
42:47And you signed it to Jim, make him laugh and feed him Froot Loops.
42:52Mick Malloy.
42:53And I thought, I've kept it for years.
42:57I've kept this bit of paper for years.
42:59Make him laugh and feed him Froot Loops.
43:01And I thought it was profound and maybe you meant something.
43:04And then over the years I've gotten to know you and now I know you're just an idiot.
43:10It was nothing.
43:11I'm glad I had an effect on you.
43:14A young emerging Jim Jeffries.
43:15Did you not have a moment with him where you ate something together?
43:19Oh, yeah.
43:19Oh, oh, oh.
43:20Yeah.
43:21So, okay.
43:22So, so Mick.
43:23You'll pay for this, Robbins.
43:24Yeah.
43:25So, so Mick came out to, uh, to LA, right?
43:29Oh, you can't tell this story.
43:30I can.
43:31It's time to go.
43:32No, no, no, no.
43:34No.
43:35No, this is not going to make it.
43:36No, no, no.
43:37There's no point telling it.
43:38We'll tell it.
43:38We're wrapping up.
43:39So, so I took Mick out to dinner at Soho House.
43:43I can get him.
43:44Soho House?
43:45Yeah.
43:45Oh, yeah.
43:45I took him the full nine yards.
43:47I took him out to Soho House.
43:48Now, I don't drink anymore because it's irresponsible.
43:50Uh, I just get high every day.
43:53So, so I'm California sober, as I like to call it, high and dry, right?
43:56So I took an edible.
43:58I take edibles all the time.
43:59I can handle myself with them.
44:01Mick, Mick took, Mick, Mick took an edible and he's there with his brother.
44:06He did all right.
44:07Mick, not so good.
44:08I was, I was popping them like Maltesers.
44:13So we, we, we leave, we leave the venue.
44:15We, we go outside.
44:16We're going to walk off to a bar.
44:18As we walk out the bar, Mick falls into a hedge, right?
44:22And cartoonishly, his legs are up in the air.
44:25It's like a Peter Sellers kid.
44:26He's in the bushes.
44:27I have to get him back out.
44:28And I go, what happened?
44:29You fell into a hedge.
44:30We go off to a bar and then Mick goes, oh, I like the old bar we're at.
44:34Let's go back.
44:35We go back.
44:36He falls into the same hedge.
44:39So he fell right into the hedge and left into the hedge to get his equilibrium right.
44:44We've got to go.
44:45What have you learnt tonight about yourself?
44:46Uh, I've, I've, I've learnt that my gigs are going to be really bad because audience members are going to
44:52bring bananas down.
44:54Do we love Jim Jeffries and everybody?
44:57Stand up.
44:57Here we go.
45:01I feel we'll stand up, Jim, for this stand up.
45:04Because I think we've had a great night.
45:05I just want to ask you, the audience, do you think Jim's made a breakthrough?
45:09Do you love Jim?
45:10Yeah.
45:11I think it's fantastic.
45:13I think it's been big.
45:14What about you, mate?
45:15No.
45:15I'm not happy.
45:16I've had enough for you.
45:17Here he comes.
45:18That's it.
45:18That's the bloke from Manchester.
45:20Watch out, Jim.
45:20He's coming down.
45:21No, don't do this.
45:23No, no.
45:23Come here.
45:25Come here.
45:26Come here.
45:26Oh, no.
45:26He's got to go.
45:28He's got to go.
45:29He's got to go.
45:30Good night.
45:33Thank you for coming.
45:35We are Jim, Jim, Jim.
45:38It's how we do.
45:41Good night.
45:41We'll see you next time.
45:43It's the work of her, Pat.
45:48Well, you know what?
45:49I thought that went really well.
45:51I felt like I learned a little bit too much about myself, to be honest.
45:53I'll tell you what I learned.
45:55It's fun to stay at the YMCA.
45:58No, Glenn.
45:59We won't be doing that.
46:00You want to go back for a massage, perhaps?
46:03Go on.
46:05Got the robe all ready.
46:08Make them laugh and feed them Froot Loops.
46:12We'll see you next time.
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