00:00Good evening, Jose. Hola, Senor Heff.
00:03All right. It's good to see you.
00:05It's good to see you. Gracias, Senor Heff.
00:07Excuse me. What? Who the hell is Heff?
00:10He said Jeff. No, he said Heff.
00:12It's the same thing. Uh, no, it's not.
00:16Jose, what'd you say? I say Senor Heff.
00:19What the fu—now he said Heff.
00:22It's all the same.
00:24Wait, didn't you watch Sesame Street?
00:27Jeff is Jeff, Heff is Heff, and Heff is Heff.
00:31One of these things just doesn't belong here.
00:43Tonight's show is sponsored by the sound—
00:47I'm sorry, Jose. It's okay.
00:50Okay, he's an idiot.
00:52You're on a stick.
00:53Stick. Stick-a-caw.
00:56Jeff-a-faw.
00:58Ha-ha-ha.
01:01I have a question for Josie.
01:13My name is Jose.
01:15Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were in America
01:19speaking frickin' English.
01:22But I didn't see the little chk over the E,
01:26which magically changes Josie into frickin' Jose.
01:31And I didn't see the nyup over the N,
01:33which changes jalapeno into jalapeno.
01:37It's got a nyup over the N and a chk over the E.
01:40Two keys I can never frickin' find on a frickin' keyboard.
01:50Apparently it's a secret known only to the Mexicans.
01:54So, Jose, when you're typing—
01:57Oh, I'm sorry.
02:04Talk about huntin' pecs.
02:09I'm sorry, Jose.
02:10It's okay. I'm going to hire Ajnett to kill him.
02:15So, what's your question? And be nice.
02:17Okay. Um, you're a jalapeno.
02:20Si, senor.
02:22Honestique.
02:22Right.
02:23You're a Mexican jalapeno.
02:25Honestique.
02:26Right.
02:27Are you a legal Mexican jalapeno?
02:33Well, what'd I say?
02:34This is not the appropriate time and place to ask it.
02:37Too late!
02:38So, Jose, are you legal?
02:39Are you legal?
02:40Are you legal?
02:40Are you legal?
02:41Are you legal?
02:42What? I know the answer to the question.
02:46What, Jose?
02:47Si, senor.
02:48Are you legal to be in this country?
02:50Si, senor.
02:51Okay.
02:51I have my green card.
02:53Where is your green card?
02:55You see my other speak.
03:01Silence!
03:04I kill you!
03:06I took a shower on Monday.
03:08Friday's still not dry.
03:11If she had a costume, she'd have two Ds on her chest.
03:15Do you know what your breath smells like?
03:18Dun-ha.
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