- 7 minutes ago
Make That Season 1 Episode 4
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Hi, my name's Ewing. I like drawing and showing up for the boys.
00:05Cut me and I bleed girlsfields United. Never miss a game.
00:10Come on, the keys! Come on, the keys! Come on, the keys! Come on, the keys!
00:15What's the score, boys? Ewing, the scoreboard's right there.
00:23Technically, they've lost all their games this season,
00:25but I'll never give up on the lads.
00:27Er, this is the guys pleading with the ref.
00:35This, this is the Euglet.
00:37Here, he's got magical powers.
00:40He's taken a vow to help anyone in their time of need.
00:44What if the Euglet teamed up with girlsfields United
00:48and helped them to win their first football game?
00:51Now that is a movie I'd love to see.
00:54This is what I love about this country.
00:57The devotion. The spirit.
01:00England's green and pleasant pastures.
01:02This is more than just a feel-good sports movie with a sprinkling of fantasy.
01:06This is a boy's wish.
01:08We can't let anything stand in our way.
01:13Never give up!
01:14Never give up!
01:15Never give up!
01:50I couldn't wait to meet Ewan and find out more about his little green character.
01:54We cruised into Gernsfield to catch up with the man of the match himself.
01:58Congratulations, Mr. O'Donoghue.
02:00What are your thoughts on today's selection?
02:02Huh?
02:04He's real!
02:05Oh my god, it's you!
02:07You might be riding high after today's fantastic result.
02:11Do you have anything to say to the fans at home?
02:13Oh my god.
02:14You're gonna make my movie!
02:15Well there you have it.
02:16The penny is dropped and the gaffer is speechless.
02:19At the end of the day, he's playing a real blind a great vision from the lad himself!
02:24Can I do one?
02:26Have you got one prepared?
02:28Yeah.
02:33Sorry mate.
02:34I don't think we've got time.
02:36It's my moment, mate.
02:41I can't wait to tell the lads about this tomorrow at training.
02:45Oh, you're going to watch the training as well?
02:47Yeah, training's just a code before kick-off really.
02:50You know, they chat about cat-ticks I guess.
02:52And I get a goat's house raising!
02:54Oh, um, are your parents around?
02:57We just have a few forms we'd like them to sign.
02:59My parents?
03:00No, they're in Devon.
03:02That's right.
03:03Devon is, I'll sign it.
03:04You know, it's nice to see a bit of paper.
03:08Everything's gone all digital, hasn't it?
03:11I'll grab a pen.
03:15Devon?
03:16Goodness me!
03:17I'm dying to know more about this little yug-yug fella.
03:20He's quite charming.
03:22Really, he is.
03:23It's pronounced yug-letch!
03:25I'm sorry, it's just that I'm a big fan.
03:28I'm still surprised you got the rights.
03:30Honsworth is a real bulldog.
03:33Hold up, what's happening?
03:34What rights?
03:37Houston?
03:38We have a pen.
03:41Uh-oh.
03:42Slide oversight here.
03:44It turns out that the yug-let is actually a quite well-known existing English children's book character.
03:49Created by Sir BBB Honsworth.
03:52The yug-let was voted the third best Britain of all time, has a chain of department stores, two airports
03:58named in his honour, and he can be found on the back of every ten pence coin.
04:02Suffice to say, Jess had somehow failed to include the yug-let in my official dossier on the British way
04:09of life.
04:11I thought he got everything.
04:16I hope one day I can forgive her.
04:19How can I bring together the people of the Empire if I'm totally ignorant of their beautiful culture?
04:24Sam, he's like a national treasure.
04:26We had to memorise the books at school.
04:28There's 50 of them.
04:29I mean, this fella's got a reasonable selection, but he's missing all the classics.
04:33The yug-let takes Rhodesia.
04:36Rhodesia?
04:37Yeah, that one got me through my divorce.
04:39Have you been living under a fucking rock?
04:41That's a pretty serious allegation.
04:43Man, the yug-let seems like he has a lot of wisdom.
04:46I wish we had him in Australia, instead of Melanie Pelican.
04:50Melanie, have you been out in the sun again?
04:52God, you are riddled with melanomas.
04:57Don't forget to wear sunscreen, kids!
05:00Poppins give me the willies.
05:01Look, we can just make the movie anyway.
05:04We'll just say he's a different kind of gnome.
05:06He's a forest friend.
05:08Last of the noble order of the elderflower hog imps.
05:12Last of his kind.
05:15Nice.
05:16Is that a serious suggestion?
05:18This is BBB Honsworth.
05:20He'll just want to knock off a mile away.
05:21Do you want him to send him the suits?
05:23I can't be dealing with the suits.
05:26It felt like Ewan's dream was just out of reach.
05:29We'd need a miracle to get the rides.
05:33Thankfully, I'm in the miracle business.
05:36We tracked down BBB Honsworth at his unlisted country estate.
05:42I mean, we should cut our losses.
05:45Sam, he hates visitors.
05:47Like, hates them.
05:48You know, he's not been seen in public since he tried to filibuster the Good Friday Agreement.
05:52Listen, I made a promise to that sweet Ewan.
05:55Not just to him, but to these British Isles.
05:59We all call home.
06:02Winnie, don't vomit.
06:03Do we have some kitchen roll?
06:05Oh, sorry.
06:06It's just pre-Honsworth's nose.
06:09The man is a god to me.
06:10I'll be alright once I'm inside.
06:12Inside his house.
06:13Jesus.
06:15His actual house.
06:20Sorry.
06:21If only we had some sheets of kitchen roll.
06:24Winnie, maybe you should sit this one out.
06:27I'll look after him.
06:28No.
06:29Winnie, you've twice vomited.
06:30No.
06:31What if you freak out and get a stiffy?
06:33You can't take this away from me, no.
06:35Wait outside.
06:36Sam!
06:37With the only British-born members of the crew recovering outside,
06:41we'd have to work hard to assimilate.
06:43It was a privilege to see a traditional dipping ceremony up close.
06:56I found your email to be morbidly offensive.
07:00I'm simply not in the business of prostituting out my beloved Youglet
07:04to every Tom, Dick and Harry who wants to make a motion picture.
07:08Not after what happened last time.
07:09We're trying to grow up.
07:12Well...
07:13Oh, yes.
07:14This is not my first rude you, as those fat Americans say.
07:19Thank the Lord we stopped that abomination.
07:21Can you believe they put my sweet, nubile Youglet in a baseball cap?
07:28Lucky bastards.
07:30Oh, what are we doing?
07:31Let's get in there, Pat.
07:33He can't see me.
07:34What?
07:36Didn't want to say anything, but I've got a bit of a history.
07:40With Hunsworth.
07:42Back when I was running game with my uncle Pat.
07:45Your uncle's called Pat as well?
07:48Everyone in my family is.
07:49We slightly borrowed the Youglet's branding for a business venture.
07:58You silly bitch.
08:01I had tickets for that.
08:03Totally ruined my 19th.
08:05These flash new characters with their blue hair and bisexual tofu.
08:12That's not who we are.
08:15The Youglet is an Englishman.
08:18As English as fish and chips.
08:21Siggy and a Brompton.
08:22A thousand years on the West End.
08:24Yes, but...
08:24Of course, Johnny Foreigner doesn't get that.
08:28In truth, the only way that I would green light a Youglet picture
08:32is if I knew it was going to be done properly,
08:35faithful to the source material,
08:37and with an entirely British crew.
08:40On screen and behind the camera.
08:46Oh, I simply couldn't have put it better myself, my Lordship.
08:53That's exactly, that's exactly right.
08:56To be fair, I'm not being funny.
08:59You alright, love?
09:00Probably just having our in, actually.
09:04Love Stonehenge.
09:06Born and raised Stonehenge myself, cafe culture.
09:09Absolutely bonkers, oi oi.
09:13Don't mind if I use the toilet on the way out.
09:17Love to have a go with the bloody toilet.
09:31I had no idea.
09:33Fellow countrymen.
09:38My darlings.
09:40Winnie, you weren't wrong.
09:42Hornsworth is a true gentleman of the Crumpington Order.
09:46His entrustings shall not be in vain.
09:48Don't tell me that.
09:49At least lie about him.
09:51What are you on about?
09:51He said yes.
09:52You got the rights?
09:53We got the rights.
09:54I just got my first kiss right up top.
09:58A kiss from Hornsworth.
10:01That's it.
10:02Let's get back in there.
10:04No, Whitney!
10:07With Hornsworth's blesser, nothing could stop us from bringing the youglet to the big screen.
10:13Now enough classic banter.
10:15Time for some footy.
10:27Be careful, he's an old dog.
10:30What's for lunch then?
10:31I'm rather peckish for lunch.
10:33Oh, I got sushi.
10:35No, no, ditch that.
10:36Roast dinner's all round.
10:37It's gotta be.
10:40He lives.
10:43For you, Glenn.
10:44Make it go, Sebastian.
10:46Fire it up.
10:48Sam, I'm a little uneasy about this.
10:51Sebastian, you're always going on about puppets.
10:53You love puppetry.
10:55We may have got our wires crossed a little bit.
10:57They are my main phobia of the 12 major phobias.
11:02It's for you, Glenn.
11:04Wow.
11:05Can you speak?
11:06Make him, um, make him say my name.
11:09Say his name.
11:11Say my name.
11:12Say my name.
11:13Just say it.
11:14Right now!
11:15Say it!
11:16You will say his name!
11:17You will say my name!
11:19Say his belly!
11:19Say my name!
11:20Now!
11:27I love you, Ewan.
11:29Oh, fuck!
11:32That is good.
11:35All right, lads.
11:36Let's get you into makeup, eh?
11:37Can you put a spell on me?
11:38Can you fly?
11:39All right, fella.
11:40What?
11:40My turn.
11:42Bring it in.
11:43Bring it in.
11:44Bring it in.
11:45Bring it in.
11:51Oh!
11:53Oh!
11:58Oh!
12:05What can I get for you, Missy?
12:07Jog on.
12:08Oh!
12:09That's no way to say hello to your uncle, is it?
12:12Enjoyed your article.
12:14Always good to see a Pat in the paper.
12:16You got the keys to the kingdom.
12:18The Euclid is ours at last.
12:20We're back in business.
12:22I don't work for you anymore, Pat.
12:23I've gone legit.
12:24Who's doing your merch?
12:26Knocked up a few samples, I have.
12:28Eh?
12:29Eh?
12:30Let's collab, Pat.
12:32I'd have to check the call sheet.
12:34I'm not sure we need a two-bit con man who smells like a puddle.
12:39You know, I didn't have the time of my life in prison.
12:42But they never caught you, though, did they?
12:44Funny that.
12:46Pat, where you at?
12:48Sorry.
12:49That's my boss.
12:51The dog drank a Bollington's.
12:53Is that bad?
12:54Change your mind.
12:55No!
12:56Change your mind!
12:57Come here!
12:57Change your mind!
12:58Shut up!
12:59Change your mind!
13:00Change your mind!
13:01Hey, Cheeky.
13:03I know what you're thinking.
13:04You want an ice cream, don't you?
13:06I'll get you one.
13:07What do you want?
13:08Nah.
13:08You know what?
13:09Saving myself for this roast.
13:13He would probably have been repulsed by me.
13:18Another creepy yug head drooling all over him.
13:21Oh.
13:22You couldn't be more wrong, sir.
13:26Mr. Hornsworth would be proud to call you a forest friend.
13:31Oh.
13:32You see me.
13:34What kind of kid doesn't want an ice cream?
13:39Excuse me.
13:40This is private.
13:52There you are.
13:58That's different.
14:20What is that?
14:22Is that a dog?
14:23He's a dog.
14:26His name's the Euclid.
14:28He wants to help us.
14:30Mate.
14:31We've got a massive match this month.
14:38I think I just found that secret weapon.
14:41He's got abilities.
15:08I'd like to incorporate a new tactic.
15:13Kindness
15:14If the midfielders could just employ a gentle
15:17Cut
15:19Sebastian, I can see your mouth moving
15:20It looks fake
15:22Yeah, but I'm not even on screen
15:25You're still doing it
15:26What's the issue? I'm not on camera
15:29Just don't move your mouth when you talk
15:32I think ventriloquism continues to master
15:36They should really teach you in schools
15:37Yeah
15:40Nathan, is it?
15:41Quick word?
15:45Nobody likes when footballers get political, yeah?
15:48Sure
15:49Excuse me
15:52The suits?
15:54I can't be dealing with the suits
15:56Sam Campbell?
15:58Yeah
15:59You are in breach of copyright law
16:02No, no, there's been a mistake
16:03We had an agreement with Mr. Honsworth
16:05Mr. Honsworth embraced us
16:07A kiss on the top of the head isn't legally binding
16:10Top of the head
16:11Our client is not of sound mind
16:13He couldn't give you the rights
16:15Even if he wanted to
16:16They belong to the board of trustees
16:17Mr. Honsworth only has permission to appear next to the character
16:21In his commercials for prescription strength deodorant
16:25In fact, there are grounds to file a lawsuit against you
16:28For mental distress to our client
16:30No comment
16:31I know my rights
16:33My client doesn't have to say anything
16:35Without also getting to wear a nice suit
16:57I ask that we may call the ploughman's truce
17:00We stand together
17:02As brothers
17:04May the sun never set
17:07When the
17:10Meaningless
17:11You have blatantly stolen our client's intellectual property
17:14And that thing will need to be incinerated
17:17Sebastian?
17:17Please, professional lawyers
17:19This is all I have
17:20I can't go back to my human form
17:23When are we filming the penalty suit now?
17:25Hey?
17:26Not Meg!
17:28Go on
17:29Tell him
17:29Look this innocent child in the eye
17:32And tell him his movie can't happen
17:34Because we didn't get a certificate
17:36Whatever it is
17:38Child?
17:40What are you all about?
17:41Don't cry, Ewan
17:42Don't let these bastards see you cry
17:46I'm faulty
17:48I'm faulty years old
17:52Okay
17:53No, I'm Gavin
17:54Gavin?
17:57Fuck
17:59I'm saving myself for this roast
18:03I'm faulty years old
18:04Oh dear
18:09You're 40?
18:11Why do you love the euglet so much?
18:13You really are very thick
18:15Do your research, mate
18:16Everyone loves the euglet
18:18Oh, that's right
18:19He's an institution
18:20Come along now, Mr. Honsworth
18:22Please
18:22Please
18:23If you would
18:24Could you sign
18:25For an old fan?
18:28Oh, Christ
18:29Go on
18:29If you're quick
18:30Ah, this young whippersnapper
18:32Has dug up an old classic
18:33The euglet
18:35Fingers of Pygmy
18:37Ah, that was a fun one
18:38Um
18:39Where did you
18:40Get these?
18:42Oh
18:42Had most of these
18:44Since I was
18:44Need high to a grasshopper
18:45I've got the entire collection
18:48The entire collection?
18:50Yes
18:50Turns out a few of the old books
18:52Had some pretty dicey titles
18:54Along with some rather troubling inscriptions
18:56I agreed to hand over Winnie's box of evidence
18:59In exchange for the rights to the euglet
19:01And 12 cases of the prescription strength deodorant
19:04For a friend
19:05Ewan made me realise
19:07Football isn't about what happens on the pitch
19:10It's about everyone in the terraces
19:12Supporting their team
19:13I sacked the players
19:15And started over
19:17This one
19:18Is for the fans
19:32Big game on Sunday
19:33So we thought we might pay a little visit
19:36To the ref
19:38Ever since the euglet took over the firm
19:40We've been a bit more
19:41Hands on
19:43With our souls
19:48There he is
19:52Football
19:53Yeah
19:56Shame we had to ditch the Greenfield boys
19:59Jess, you still have so much to learn
20:01Those guys are born losers
20:03They'll never be legendary footballers
20:05Like Messi
20:08Or Ronaldo
20:09Ah, looks like you were a bit quick
20:11To judge your Uncle Pat-Pat
20:13Winnie
20:14That man lives by the code of the fairground
20:17Sam must have given him something
20:25Well, there you have it
20:26The Geeks have earned a well-deserved quarter
20:29There will be celebrations in Gernsville tonight
20:32That'll be £6.50 please, mate
20:44I didn't realise these pints were for the euglet
20:48These are on the house
21:12Oh, Britannia!
21:16Britannia!
21:20Britannia!
21:21Britannia!
21:22Britannia!
21:23Britannia!
21:26Britannia!
21:27Britannia!
21:28Britannia!
21:28More suit!
21:29What now?
21:30Sam Campbell
21:31Hello!
21:33We've seen what you've done
21:34Britannia!
21:37Britannia!
21:37Britannia!
21:37We're from the Home Office
21:39We would like to offer you full British citizenship
21:45I accept this honor.
21:48Everything I do is to further the British cause.
21:56Rule Britannia.
21:59We can rule the ways.
22:02Britain never, never, never shall be saved.
22:17Look, Dad, it's for you, Gloop.
22:19Hello, Dad. Hello, boy.
22:21Are you ready to eat some nice ice cream?
22:24Aye! I can still see your fucking lips moving, mate.
22:27It looks fake!
22:42You'll be right back.
22:44You'll be right back.
22:54Have a great day.
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