- 14 hours ago
Parlor Room Season 2 Episode 1
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Do you want to play a game?
00:02No!
00:03I'm ready.
00:04I'm ready.
00:05I'm happy to just talk.
00:06Oh, I just tightened my belt.
00:06Oh, okay, librarian.
00:08Are we rolling?
00:09Yeah, we are!
00:10What?
00:11They don't call action on this show?
00:13It's a secret!
00:14Only I know.
00:15Secret?
00:16I can tell I'm sweating a lot over here already.
00:18Do you need a tish?
00:19No, that's just how I live.
00:20Because I got some stuffed inside this chair.
00:22Tish.
00:23Tish.
00:24Tish.
00:24NYU tish.
00:25NYU tish.
00:26All four of these people went to NYU tish.
00:28And that is a crime.
00:30This is for real.
00:30That is a crime.
00:31Sorry we're fixing comedy.
00:33Sorry we're saving the industry.
00:35Sorry!
00:41Hello!
00:42I'm Becca Scott and welcome to Parlor Room,
00:44where we play our favorite board games
00:46with your favorite people.
00:47Each episode, we invite a new guest
00:49to bring a game of their choosing
00:51and a huddle of hooligans.
00:53And today, we have the one, the only,
00:56the scandal monger herself,
00:57the spiller of secrets.
00:59It's Lily-Doo.
01:00I'm here to spill a lot of things,
01:02but Grant will be spilling his drink.
01:04Whoops.
01:04Now that would have been great.
01:05And you predict the future?
01:07Leave me alone.
01:08Leave me alone.
01:08There is a ring of dampness.
01:10Do you consider yourself a damp person?
01:12Yeah, I do.
01:13Hey, sharing the same couch?
01:15Yeah.
01:15Yeah.
01:17Hey Lily, what game are we playing today?
01:19We're playing a game called Priorities.
01:21Oh my gosh.
01:22Priorities.
01:23It is my priority to be here with you all,
01:25playing a game.
01:26Aww.
01:27That's really sweet.
01:27I'm gonna need some help introducing
01:29these lovely friends we have here.
01:30Could you help me with that?
01:31We have Yoshi's girlfriend,
01:33Break a Shop Car.
01:34Ooh.
01:35Is that the mouth you kiss Yoshi with?
01:37No, this one.
01:41It's banana surprise lover, Jordan Myrick.
01:44Fuck you, Paul Robolino.
01:45Yeah!
01:47Great.
01:47Right?
01:48Banana surprise is the last time I was on Parlor Room.
01:50Paul Robolino was in my episode with me,
01:52and he, for his snack, brought something,
01:55and all morning he was texting me,
01:57I have such a fun snack you're gonna love.
01:59Oh, my foodie queen, you're gonna love
02:00the snack I'm bringing.
02:01I said, okay, fun.
02:02He brings out something called Banana Surprise.
02:04It's mashed up overripe brown banana
02:07with orange juice mixed into it.
02:10Were you not surprised?
02:11Are you not surprised?
02:13I certainly was surprised,
02:14and I'll never forgive him.
02:17Paul really had me thinking he brought on
02:19some kind of artisanal local pastry.
02:22A freak on a leash, Grant O'Brien.
02:25Korn.
02:26Korn sang that song.
02:27God, when Grant says Korn,
02:29I hear it with a C and not the T.
02:31And about his feet.
02:31About his feet or something.
02:33I hear it.
02:34And she's so cool,
02:35she missed rehearsal at the hangout at SNL.
02:38It's Rachel Begram.
02:39Fuck you!
02:40Her intro's kind of about her job.
02:43My intro's about my job.
02:45Dating Yoshi is not a job.
02:47Well, before this gets even more insane,
02:49Lily, can you tell us a little bit about
02:51why you chose to bring priorities?
02:53I chose priorities because I think this is like
02:56a really open-ended fun game.
02:58Jordan famously hates games.
03:01Something famous on me.
03:02I wish we were just hanging out.
03:03This game is like hanging out.
03:05I feel socially awkward if I don't have a game.
03:08That's why.
03:09Okay.
03:09Conversation is a game.
03:10It's hard.
03:11It's a hard game.
03:12It's too hard.
03:13What if you treated it like something you could win?
03:16Now we're talking!
03:17Something's wrong with both of you.
03:19I can have a conversation.
03:20I'm having a conversation right now.
03:21Yes, you're perfect.
03:22Okay.
03:23Okay.
03:24Sorry.
03:26Alright.
03:26Right now, it's time to get to the priorities
03:30of this game in the form of rules.
03:36In priorities, players work together to guess
03:38how their friends rank everyday items.
03:40The Ranker draws five cards from a deck containing
03:43everything from yourself or the beach to cannibalism
03:47and secretly orders them from one, their most loved,
03:50to five, their most loathed.
03:53The rest of the players now confer.
03:55How do they think the Ranker ordered these items?
03:57Together, they arrange the cards accordingly,
04:00without any clues or help from the Ranker.
04:02Once everyone is in agreement,
04:04the Ranker reveals their choices.
04:06Every card that was ordered correctly is won by the players.
04:09Incorrectly ranked cards are won by the game.
04:12At the end of each round, if the accumulated cards
04:15can spell priorities, the players win.
04:18But if the game can spell it first, the players lose
04:22and they may need to reassess how well they really
04:25know each other.
04:26Well, if we're ready to play, let's make a game appear.
04:28Get your foot off the table.
04:33Lily's up first.
04:34I'm gonna give you five cards and nobody talk about them,
04:38nobody look at Lily until she's decided how she would
04:41rank them from love to loath.
04:43Okay, I'm such an indecisive person.
04:45France.
04:48Wooly sweaters.
04:49I do.
04:51YouTube.
04:53Hipster beards.
04:56And whistling.
04:57And the middle is just kind of like indifference.
05:00Indifference.
05:01What should we talk about while Lily's decided?
05:04Yoshi and your first date.
05:06So we met because he was like canvassing
05:09for a local politician who wanted to...
05:11Which one?
05:12Recursions.
05:13Recursions.
05:13Recursions.
05:14Who wanted to eliminate schools.
05:17And I thought that it was really inspirational
05:19that he was taking initiative.
05:20Totally.
05:20I've never met anyone that does that before.
05:23And I said, I really respect all your viewpoints.
05:25And he was like, well, I don't respect you.
05:26And that kind of got me thinking.
05:28Love that stuff.
05:28Do I deserve respect?
05:30Yeah.
05:30So I appreciate someone who could challenge me like that.
05:32Yeah.
05:32That's beautiful.
05:33Yeah.
05:33So I asked him out.
05:34And he asked my age and my weight and stuff.
05:36And I was like, that's funny.
05:38Did you say?
05:39That's funny.
05:40I said, ten and ten.
05:42Those classic Hollywood numbers.
05:44Ten and ten.
05:46The ideal Hollywood measurement.
05:48The perfect woman.
05:50Yeah.
05:50All right, friends.
05:51Now, rearrange.
05:52Okay.
05:52According to Lily's preferences.
05:54Now to see if my friends know me.
05:55I feel like vague, like, pockets of good and bad.
05:59I'm like, I think she likes big, woolly sweaters.
06:02Sure.
06:02And she likes fashion.
06:03And like fashion.
06:04She likes well-made materials.
06:05Exactly.
06:06So I put that in like a good area.
06:07Yeah, I agree.
06:08She likes travel, right?
06:09I feel like she likes France.
06:10Sure.
06:10Because she talks about how much you don't like it.
06:12Yes.
06:12Yeah.
06:12And YouTube, probably right in the middle.
06:14It's like, whatever.
06:15We worked at College Humor.
06:16Like, how much can you like this thing that you have to fight against?
06:19It provides work for some of us.
06:21So that's more positive.
06:22Maybe a little.
06:23You're thinking about for you.
06:24But I think.
06:24It provides work for you.
06:25And you like when I work.
06:27And I think this is indifferent, but also she likes like gross, weak men.
06:30So I don't know if it's like a hipster thing or really.
06:32No.
06:33Like the kind that tells her she's worth something.
06:35Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:36Like that twink husband of hers.
06:37Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:39He's not twink.
06:40Well, he's not.
06:40He doesn't have a beard.
06:42Yeah.
06:42I think hipster beard is more on the.
06:45You can't be pushing 40 in a twink.
06:47Those things are.
06:48Really?
06:50Well, and twonk is someone who was a twink, right?
06:53Well, a jacked twink.
06:55I thought that was more like a big.
06:55Oh.
06:56A twink.
06:57Twink, twink, twink.
06:58Where do you think hipster beards and whistling?
07:00Whistling's way annoying.
07:01Sometimes she likes irritating things.
07:03Right.
07:03So that's why I actually think this.
07:05I think that makes sense.
07:07Okay.
07:07That's my thing.
07:07And then sweaters over France?
07:10I think maybe.
07:11Yeah.
07:11She loves fashion.
07:13She likes fashion.
07:13Yeah.
07:13She wasn't sure about her answer.
07:16This feels pretty good.
07:16I think that's good.
07:17So whoever's next in line will be our final say.
07:20Okay.
07:20Yeah.
07:21I think this feels really good.
07:24Maybe nigh on perfect.
07:26Okay.
07:26Okay.
07:26I think we've nailed Lily to a T.
07:28If it deviates, it's because of an anomaly in Lily's mind.
07:32Yeah.
07:32I agree.
07:32Uh-huh.
07:33All right, Lily.
07:34We're ready for your presentation.
07:38Feels so good to be known.
07:41Yeah.
07:42Yep.
07:43Wooly sweaters, France, YouTube, whistling, hipster beers.
07:46We got them all.
07:47That's really impressive.
07:47Absolutely.
07:49Whoa.
07:50Okay.
07:50A gorgeous wooly sweater in organic fabric straight from the sheep.
07:56Beautiful.
07:57Straight from the sheep.
07:58France.
07:58Cool place.
07:59Beautiful country.
08:00A lot of beautiful textiles.
08:02Art.
08:02Back to textiles.
08:03Back to textiles.
08:04All textiles.
08:05YouTube.
08:05I love it and I loathe it.
08:07I love a little K-pop short.
08:10And then I also hate the algorithm.
08:12Yeah.
08:12Sure.
08:13Not enough Lily.
08:15Whistling.
08:17You can't do it.
08:19That was pretty good.
08:20Yeah, you can't do it.
08:21I can only wolf whistle at half volume.
08:24And one trip I went on with friends, I was practicing it as I was walking.
08:30And my friend in front of me got really scared because she thought a man was following her.
08:34Wolf whistling.
08:35Wow.
08:36She's so good at whistling.
08:37And then hipster beards, it's like, whatever.
08:39I don't hate it.
08:40I don't love it.
08:41But I like it.
08:42But that's loathe.
08:42Yeah.
08:43But I like it the least of everything.
08:44I kind of like all these things and this is like, whatever.
08:48Got it.
08:48It's like a hipster beard when it's extra long.
08:50I like beards.
08:51But why does it have to be a hipster beard?
08:53Why is it specified?
08:54It has a trust fund.
08:55Shape it up.
08:56I thought that was extremely successful.
08:58That's five potential letters for R spelling of the word priorities.
09:02Let's see what letters we got.
09:04R, R, R, R, R, R, R, R.
09:05R.
09:06I love that.
09:07Oh no!
09:08It sucks.
09:09Oh no!
09:10That's too bad.
09:11I swear I shuffled, but we're gonna shuffle again.
09:14I love that R.
09:15Okay, well we got four R's.
09:16All right.
09:17Rekha.
09:17It's you, are you ready?
09:18Yeah, big time.
09:19Your choices are oversharing, saying the wrong thing, arrogance.
09:26Wow, there's a theme.
09:28Soggy footwear and beer.
09:30Beer.
09:32For Rekha.
09:33For Rekha.
09:33Okay.
09:34Grant, why don't you tell us about the origin of all gay nomenclature?
09:43Well...
09:43Speak for all gay people.
09:44Yeah, yeah, speak for all gay people.
09:45I always do.
09:46A lot of times I'll find myself in need of some VHS head cleaner,
09:51and I have to get it from the refrigerator behind the counter at the sex shop.
09:56What an outdated way to get poppers.
09:58Just get it from like a guy named Cliff at a party.
10:01I like going into the sex store.
10:02It's just a little seedy, feels like cum could be on every surface.
10:05Oh, totally.
10:06Does that make you feel at home when there's cum on every surface?
10:08It smells like my apartment.
10:10Mmm.
10:11In your car, I've heard.
10:13Wow.
10:14It's so funny that Becca asked about gay nomenclature, and Grant's like, I love poppers.
10:20What a cliche.
10:21Rekha's made her choices.
10:23Yeah.
10:24Mm-hmm.
10:25Saying the wrong thing feels really bad, I would say.
10:27For a right guy.
10:28Yeah, that would be...
10:29Yes.
10:29I think that's probably at the bottom.
10:31Yeah, unique to me.
10:32But I do believe she doesn't like beer.
10:35She does not like beer.
10:35Yeah, I don't think she likes beer.
10:36But does she like beer more than arrogance?
10:39I don't think she drinks any beer at all.
10:41Yeah.
10:41We once met up at a wine bar.
10:42I think she got a white.
10:43She loves oversharing.
10:45Yes.
10:46I think, yeah.
10:46It's one of her favorite things.
10:47On top.
10:48Now, soggy footwear is the worst thing I can imagine.
10:51That's true.
10:52Worse than saying the wrong thing?
10:53No, not for Rekha.
10:54For Rekha, this is, I think, these are, and then we figure out the middle.
10:58It's possible soggy footwear could be worse than beer.
11:02I think.
11:02Because I think there's a world in which Rekha goes to some kind of, even though she doesn't
11:06like beer, she goes to some kind of restaurant or on a trip or whatever.
11:08What about a sour?
11:09She tries it.
11:10It's so funny to like arrogance more than beer.
11:14It's so funny.
11:14I don't think she does.
11:16It's so funny.
11:16I don't think she does.
11:17But I just think that beer being second doesn't feel right.
11:20I agree.
11:21I think it was Rekha before.
11:22Okay.
11:23I think it's time.
11:23Grant has to do the final.
11:25Yeah.
11:25For Rekha to lock it in.
11:26I think these two are the.
11:27Suave?
11:28I think lock this in.
11:29I've done yeoman's work.
11:31Rekha, let us have it.
11:35Alright.
11:35I do love oversharing because I think it was my number one.
11:39Of course.
11:39Uh huh.
11:40I think it can be a really wonderful way to get to know people.
11:44Okay.
11:44It just matters, you know, who you're oversharing at.
11:47She doesn't want to do the full reveal.
11:48I think oversharing at work, you know.
11:51The rest are wrong.
11:52She's teasing us.
11:53And so I really commend you for that one.
11:56Number two.
11:57I gotta say, I don't like anything else here.
12:01Yeah.
12:01Of course.
12:02So, everyone's correct.
12:03I don't like beer.
12:05But beer is the only thing here that I'm like, is like neutral.
12:10Yeah.
12:10To me.
12:10So I put beer second.
12:12We were afraid.
12:13We were afraid this might happen.
12:14That's what we thought.
12:15That's okay.
12:15That's okay.
12:16Another thing that is like, I don't like it, but it doesn't mean, it doesn't like fuck
12:21with my head.
12:23Soggy footwear.
12:24Oh.
12:25Not a big deal to me.
12:26I don't like it.
12:27She's tough.
12:27I am actually very tough.
12:29Wow.
12:30That's tough.
12:30So, number four.
12:32Saying the wrong thing.
12:33You don't know yourself.
12:34You're saying the wrong thing.
12:35You're saying the wrong thing.
12:35And this leads me to number five.
12:38Arrogance.
12:38Whoa!
12:40I love useful arrogance.
12:42Because that to me is not arrogance.
12:43It's confidence.
12:44Yes.
12:44Arrogance is like unfounded.
12:46Going to Tisch made me realize the difference between confidence and arrogance.
12:51Because you ask people to help you on set, they're like, I'm the Dolly King.
12:56I can set up a Dolly shot in 10 seconds.
12:59And I go, why would you lie to me?
13:02We're both 20 and we're inexperienced.
13:04Then you get on set and you go, Dolly King, we need a Dolly shot.
13:07And they're like, I got you.
13:0930 minutes later.
13:10Brings out a wheelchair.
13:11Yeah.
13:11You have a wheelchair and then equipment in the shot.
13:14And you're like, wow.
13:15And an old lady pushed on her knees going.
13:18The so-called Dolly King has ruined my short film.
13:22Do you want to name names with the Dolly King?
13:24I can and I won't.
13:26I mean, your mistake is trusting an 18 year old who calls himself the Dolly King.
13:31It's arrogance.
13:32Yeah.
13:32When he should be calling himself the Dolly Llama.
13:35Yeah.
13:36Come on.
13:37Come on.
13:38Come on.
13:38Come get him.
13:39That's right.
13:40Get him.
13:40Get him.
13:41Get him.
13:41Get him.
13:42That's awesome, Jordan.
13:44Anyway, let's flip over these cards.
13:47Crazy that arrogance is so low when you're friends with me and Jordan.
13:50Okay, the game has received an R.
13:53Oh my gosh.
13:54Y'all, I swear I shuffled.
13:56That's awesome though.
13:56That's great though.
13:58But this is great.
13:58But we don't want them to get other stuff.
14:00Yeah.
14:00Yeah.
14:01Well, we got one.
14:02Priorities.
14:03We got oversharing.
14:04We did.
14:04And we got oversharing and this letter is going to be?
14:06R.
14:07Oh, we need it.
14:08The IRS, my favorite institution.
14:12Okay.
14:12Okay.
14:13It's time to grant it up.
14:15Get some grants in here.
14:16Chat-up lines.
14:17Do we know what that is?
14:18What?
14:18Like a pick-up line?
14:20Or like starting a conversation for smallpox.
14:21I think it's a British word for pick-up lines.
14:23Pick-up lines.
14:23Is it called pick-up lines?
14:25Okay.
14:25It is.
14:26I never would have chosen.
14:27See, we are spelling one of them.
14:28We're spelling one of them.
14:29Priorities.
14:32Priorities.
14:32So we don't need a T.
14:33We don't need a T.
14:34Priorities.
14:35Priorities.
14:37Cramped public transport.
14:39Men.
14:40Uh-oh.
14:41Great.
14:41Oh, perfect.
14:41And from here, it looks like it says new.
14:43Oh.
14:44And Star Trek.
14:45Oh.
14:46Okay.
14:47Grant.
14:47All of these get him off.
14:48From love to love, what makes you come the most to the least?
14:53Ugh.
14:53Lampstar.
14:54It's gonna suck when Greta Thunberg is last.
14:57Yeah.
14:58So she sailed across the ocean.
15:00She does it all the time.
15:01It's incredible.
15:02It's her favorite.
15:03When you really think about the logistics of that.
15:05That's her thing though, right?
15:06She puts it on love.
15:07She's not taking planes.
15:08Yeah.
15:09It's unbelievable.
15:10We shouldn't.
15:10She's the best of us.
15:12Would y'all take a boat across the ocean to get some water?
15:14To prove how good I am?
15:15Is there a buffet on the boat?
15:16Yeah.
15:17It's called Catch Your Own Fish.
15:18Okay.
15:19It's a buffet.
15:20My ass.
15:21Okay, fine.
15:21I love ass and I love fish.
15:24Okay, Grant has fish.
15:24Well, it looks like Grant has chosen from ass to fish.
15:28Okay.
15:29Uh, okay.
15:30Pick up lines.
15:32I think he likes that.
15:33I think he likes that.
15:34It's not like pick up lines per se, but it's just like conversation starter lines.
15:37No, I think chatting up someone is like when you're flirting in English.
15:41Did you understand it to be pick up lines?
15:43I did.
15:43Okay, great.
15:43Okay.
15:44Cramped public transportation is a bad thing.
15:46No, I think it's high for him because he's lived in New York and I believe he's pro public transport.
15:50Wait.
15:50Yeah, doesn't he say some stupid shit like he finds it romantic or whatever to be cramped
15:54That sounds like some gay stupid shit he would say.
15:56Yeah, that does sound like Grant.
15:57I think public transport is just like you should be with the people.
16:01Yeah, I think he thinks something crazy like that.
16:03Wait, does Grant like Star Trek?
16:05Does anybody know?
16:06I have no idea.
16:07I feel like indifferent.
16:09I think he might like it because he has some weird nerd stuff, but all of these things
16:14I think he likes.
16:16So this is kind of the reverse of my situation.
16:18Yeah.
16:18Right all junkers.
16:19Yeah, I don't think he dislikes anything.
16:22You think he likes men the most?
16:24I think that's hard because I think it would be on game.
16:27So I think it would be funny to put men.
16:29Yeah, would Grant want to be honest or on game?
16:32Yes.
16:32And I think he'd want to be on game.
16:33It's going to be a bit.
16:35Wait, what do you think is the bit?
16:36The men thing.
16:38I think it's like, I think it's going to be like, but of course.
16:41Do you think he'll also be like, but men are evil, so blue, blue, blue.
16:44Oh.
16:45Do you think he put Greta Thunberg first just to be controversial?
16:48I literally think he would put her last.
16:50I do too.
16:51I think he laughed when I said, it's going to be tough when Greta's last.
16:54Okay, I hear the cramped public transportation thing.
16:56I don't know if it's second.
16:57I don't think it's second.
16:58I don't think it's last.
16:59But I don't think it's last.
16:59Like it could be some situation like this.
17:02Pick up lines.
17:03Grant's, well, famously bi from the Bachelor episode of Game Changer.
17:07Grant is bi.
17:07But is he really?
17:08That's what made me bi.
17:08Because you did choose two men to win, so.
17:12I feel like this is like, like he loves to like DM and like beat DM.
17:17I think it's high.
17:19I think it's high.
17:19He loves to talk.
17:20You think it beats him.
17:20But is it?
17:21Does he love?
17:22This is genderless.
17:24This is dick.
17:24This is for anybody.
17:25But do you think I like to talk up to, I like to have a pick up line with anybody.
17:29And I think that could be true.
17:31But do you think Grant feels like he needs a chat up line?
17:34Or he's like.
17:35But I feel like this is just like.
17:36I think it just means flirting.
17:37You know what I mean?
17:38I think British are trying to make things needlessly complicated.
17:40But he said he did read it as pick up lines.
17:43I think he's like, you don't need a pick up line when you just have charisma.
17:46When you're tall.
17:47And that's true ultimately.
17:49Do you think he likes Star Trek more than that?
17:51Is this something?
17:53Rachel ultimately has the final say.
17:55Which is crazy.
17:55Rachel.
17:56I feel like I know you the least.
17:57That's your problem.
17:58But.
17:58I do think it looks absolutely wild to have Greta Thunberg last.
18:02But.
18:02She's so far away.
18:03To have her.
18:04Loki as a bit.
18:05I feel like he maybe could have put her first.
18:07But I won't make that kind of choice.
18:09Um.
18:10I won't do that here.
18:12But I.
18:12Not here.
18:13Maybe afterwards.
18:14Another place.
18:14Another time.
18:15What is the deal on Star Trek?
18:16I feel like when we did, um, actually, you whispered a Star Trek fact to me.
18:22But that was ultimately incorrect.
18:23It did get wrong.
18:24And Trap heard it.
18:25And then, um, actually before me.
18:27But it was a Star Trek fact.
18:29It was the replicator.
18:30So he knows Star Trek.
18:31Alright.
18:32I'll leave it at this.
18:33I love a replicator.
18:34I'll leave it at this.
18:34Okay.
18:35It's certainly funny.
18:36Locked in.
18:36Done.
18:39Hey, you know what?
18:40Okay.
18:40You have one correct.
18:41Stop.
18:42Go on.
18:43You got one right.
18:44And how does it feel, as you were about to say?
18:46You know what?
18:47I feel invisible.
18:48Good.
18:48But, uh, but.
18:50Grant, hey, you were too tall to ever be invisible.
18:52I just saw his first one.
18:54Oh my god.
18:55What is correct?
18:55We have one.
18:57Cramped public transit is down towards the bottom.
18:59Yay!
19:01I love public transit.
19:02I'm a trained boy.
19:03When it's cramped, I care for it less.
19:05Star Trek is perhaps one of the greatest pieces of fiction made in the 20th century.
19:09He loves Star Trek.
19:11Only I know Grant.
19:12Love.
19:12You didn't know that.
19:14Don't even know that.
19:15I said.
19:15Bring that the text.
19:16I hear you.
19:17I hear you.
19:18You said I think he knew words.
19:20We both were like facts.
19:22I said.
19:22He whispered.
19:23No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
19:24He whispered a fact to me, and it was an incorrect fact.
19:26You whispered a Star Trek fact to me, but that was ultimately incorrect.
19:31That is what you said.
19:32And then you were like, but I'm not sure.
19:33I said, I think I'm going to stay with this.
19:35And you said, yeah.
19:35And you were asking about Star Trek.
19:37Because I'm like, if somebody's a Trekkie, they fucking love Star Trek.
19:40So this would have been at the top.
19:42And I fucking love Star Trek.
19:43Rachel.
19:43I love your past.
19:44Yes.
19:44Yes.
19:45Yes.
19:48If you had said he loved it, I would have moved it up here.
19:50And I simply said, I know he has seen the show.
19:52Well.
19:53Because I know Grant.
19:54Now, I'll tell you what's better than men.
19:56Greta Thunberg.
19:58Greta Thunberg.
19:59Fake.
19:59I know.
20:00100% fake.
20:02I like Greta Thunberg.
20:04Performative.
20:05I like Greta Thunberg.
20:06I think she's cool.
20:07Yeah, but one of these you've been inside of.
20:10Well.
20:11You don't know what I've been inside of.
20:13Well.
20:14Greta's a lot older now.
20:15Greta's 13.
20:16Not anymore.
20:17Not anymore.
20:18Being fake.
20:20One through five.
20:20Number one.
20:22No.
20:22I am neutral towards men because I like to judge a person for their character.
20:28Oh my god.
20:29Their gender doesn't matter.
20:31You're such a better person than we thought.
20:33Well.
20:34Something to think about when you think about me going forward.
20:37At the bottom are chat up lines.
20:40If you have real charisma, you don't need a chat up line.
20:43I know.
20:44You didn't know that.
20:45You did know that.
20:46I did know that.
20:47Those training wheels.
20:49You know Grant.
20:49That's for people that don't know how to talk.
20:51The like.
20:51Oh, did you fall?
20:52Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
20:54Don't come in with something planned.
20:56Come in planning to listen.
20:57Yeah.
20:58Oh.
20:59That's a pick up.
21:01That's pick up listening.
21:02That's no pick up.
21:02That's pick up listening.
21:04Is it?
21:04It sure is.
21:05I think.
21:07That's like the game style pick up where you're like.
21:09If you pretend to listen she'll be all over you.
21:11Yeah.
21:11Can I be real for a second Grant?
21:12We've been so wrong about you for years.
21:14Yeah, I guess this is correct.
21:15Greta Thunberg up top.
21:17Well, almost.
21:18Up top.
21:19Almost.
21:19Grant's trying to be the Greta Thunberg of this episode.
21:21She's 18 now.
21:21We got an eye, people.
21:22Okay.
21:22We got an eye.
21:24We needed another one.
21:26Listen.
21:26As long as everyone's being honest, we can win the game.
21:30Yeah.
21:30Honest.
21:32I'm always very honest.
21:33People are trying to pretend.
21:33People are trying to project.
21:35They're like, I put Mother Teresa, the Dalai Lama, and then, oh, all the way at the bottom
21:40is gross men.
21:42Coming.
21:42Coming.
21:43Coming.
21:44It's my least favorite thing.
21:46Men were right in the middle.
21:46Oh, boy.
21:47That's too bad.
21:48You're doing pretty well.
21:49That's not good.
21:49Yeah, you put that in spell check.
21:51It's rough.
21:51It's already put in priorities.
21:52It is.
21:53It absolutely is.
21:54It's already got a word going.
21:55Damn.
21:56Rough.
21:57Priers.
21:58That's what Grant has.
22:00We got priorities.
22:02Okay, Rachel, take us home.
22:03I think we actually need to take some time to look deep within our souls.
22:08Don't take us home.
22:09It's not going well.
22:10To maybe look into our tummies and see if they're hungry.
22:13Oh.
22:13That's right, everybody.
22:14It's time for Borders.
22:20Please tell us, Lily, what amazing snack have you brought to share with us today?
22:25Panda crackers and also little mushrooms.
22:28Those are really cute.
22:29It's beautiful.
22:30Little mushrooms.
22:31They're so good.
22:32These are little Asian crackers filled with chocolate and strawberry and they're perfect.
22:36And I became obsessed with these when I took a trip to Japan and I brought back so many boxes
22:41and they were like, you know you can buy those in the US, right?
22:43And I was like, yeah, I know, but I can't eat them on the plane if I'm buying them in
22:47the US.
22:47Yeah.
22:48Idiots.
22:49Duh.
22:50This is 900 times better than what Paul did.
22:53Paul should be fired.
22:55From his full-time job.
22:56From his full-time job.
22:57No more insurance for you, Paul.
22:58Because of banana surprise.
22:59Because of banana surprise.
23:00That's delicious.
23:01I love the koalas.
23:03I love these so much.
23:04Oh my God.
23:06I will say I originally wanted to bring egg tart and then we found out they're made with lard.
23:11Probably not all of them though, right?
23:13Lily told me all of them are because they asked everyone else to ask.
23:16Chinese and Portuguese?
23:18Why would I ask for Portuguese?
23:19Oh, wow.
23:19The strawberry chocolate.
23:20Colonizer.
23:21I think of you as culture.
23:22Colonizer.
23:22Stop feeling that at me.
23:23It's the outsides that are so nice.
23:26And the insides.
23:27And the insides.
23:27That's the insides.
23:29The outside's what's important.
23:30I see it on the crafty table all the time.
23:32And I've never gone for it before.
23:33And this has been a delightful experience.
23:35Why y'all not have only three left?
23:38I'm crushing these.
23:39You're crushing it.
23:40Okay, do people prefer the koalas or the mushrooms?
23:43Don't make me choose.
23:44Koalas just slightly.
23:45Rekha, nobody made you finish those cookies.
23:48That's so funny.
23:49I'm also going to finish.
23:50It's such a clean bowl.
23:52Why are we upset when someone finishes cookies?
23:54Let someone finish cookies.
23:56Well, your job was to be making jokes the whole time.
23:58I just didn't know.
24:00I could eat a whole tiny bowl in front of my friends
24:02and not speak.
24:03And not talk to them at all.
24:04And all of America.
24:04You locked in.
24:05You think all of America's watching this?
24:07And they're going to vote at the end of this episode.
24:09Yeah.
24:10One of us dies.
24:11Who do they think's the perfect pair?
24:12Three pairs, right?
24:13Me and Khal Drogo.
24:15No.
24:15Of all of us.
24:16What are you talking about?
24:17You and Khal Drogo?
24:19What are you talking about?
24:20That's so crazy.
24:21Khal Drogo could not be less the same type as your husband.
24:25What?
24:25And that's also true.
24:26Little do you know about David Kearns.
24:30Of us.
24:30We're talking about romantically?
24:32Yes.
24:32Here?
24:33Yes.
24:33Of us.
24:34Even of us.
24:36I'm sadly straight.
24:38So I have to pair up with his followers.
24:40No!
24:40Live in a man.
24:42Everyone's living in that scale.
24:45Nobody's straight.
24:46Get rid of sexuality.
24:47Amen.
24:48So this is just like friends?
24:50No!
24:50Like if you were to be a couple, but you're not really going to have to have sex with them!
24:54But I have to finger them?
24:55Yes!
24:56I don't know!
24:57I don't have Rachel today, but I think we're compatible.
24:58Whoa!
24:59Becca and I, or Rachel and I would argue the least, maybe.
25:02Thank you!
25:02I was going to say, I can see you and Rachel, Lily.
25:05Did you do Harold Rogo stuff?
25:07I think Lily doesn't realize that.
25:09I will come at you more.
25:10I've seen Rachel pop off when a woman tries to use her self-checkout counter at the grocery
25:15store.
25:16But she, okay.
25:17But to be fair, this is what happened.
25:18So Lily was over at the other self-checkout.
25:20I was at my self-checkout.
25:21And I'm still checking out.
25:22Like I hadn't even like finished checking out.
25:24And a lady comes up and she's like laughing or something.
25:27Then she starts scanning her shit.
25:28She starts scanning her stuff.
25:30My basket!
25:31My basket with my things are there!
25:33And she starts scanning and I was like, do you see me?
25:36And she was like, oh, I'm sorry.
25:37And I was like, I got mad because I was like, you know, I'm black and I'm being ignored.
25:42And I said, this lady, this white lady took up this space in front of me on purpose.
25:48Tell this bitch.
25:48You got so mad at her and she got mad at you back and that made you more mad.
25:51I know.
25:52Well, yeah, because I was like, why are you mad at me?
25:53You need to be apologized.
25:54Let's see if lady in the checkout is on the cards.
25:57It's time we get back to priorities.
26:03Rachel, I believe we know you better than anyone else in the world.
26:06Even though we met today, I feel like.
26:08Oh, me specifically.
26:09Yeah.
26:10Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:11So we're gonna get this, right?
26:12Even though we just met today.
26:14Emotionally prepared.
26:15Pilates.
26:18Bankers.
26:19Nobody react.
26:20I mean, you can do exactly the same reaction every time.
26:23Alone time.
26:24Oh!
26:24Okay.
26:26Snuggling.
26:27Oh!
26:28Reclining your seat back on a plane.
26:31Oh!
26:31Okay.
26:32Now, Jordan, gasp.
26:35Yes.
26:36Maybe tell us a story about a time a random person in a store made you upset.
26:40Oh!
26:41Many times.
26:42I got into a fight with a man at Costco one time.
26:45There was one line going to all of the registers and he decided that he was going to create
26:51two lines and he was going to be the first one in the other line.
26:56I bet he reclines his seat back on a plane.
26:59And then I was like, excuse me, I'm waiting.
27:01And he was like, well, I'm in the other line.
27:04And I was like, sir, there is no other line.
27:06There's like six people in this line and we're all just going.
27:09And he was like, well, no, I'm in the other line.
27:14I was like, no, it's not.
27:14And then it ended with just like me being like, what is wrong with you?
27:18And then like screaming at him and then him being like, you're a bitch.
27:20And me being like, I'll show you, bitch.
27:22Would you pull out your gun?
27:23I pulled out a gun, yeah.
27:23You pulled out a portrait of yourself?
27:24Yeah.
27:25I'll show you a bitch.
27:26This is my mom.
27:28She's ready.
27:29Okay.
27:31I love snuggling.
27:33And alone time.
27:33And it's an opposite of alone time though.
27:35Interesting.
27:36Well, she loves Pilates.
27:38She loves Pilates.
27:39I feel that Pilates will be up there.
27:40She said she would rather give up her rent controlled apartment
27:43before she gave up her monthly Pilates membership.
27:45I know that.
27:46And she's always going.
27:47She loves it.
27:48What a perfect goal.
27:49That's going to be in the good pile.
27:50Okay.
27:50Banger is not so great.
27:51Banger is like B bottom.
27:52Not so great.
27:53I think alone time and then snuggling.
27:55I think they're both great.
27:55What she's getting hung up about is reclining your seats on a plane.
27:58Because I could see her doing a rant in either direction.
28:00I can see a world where Rachel finds this to be disrespectful.
28:03And we all need to just take up the amount of space we're in.
28:05But I could also see a world in which Rachel goes, I paid for that seat.
28:09So I'm reclining my seat.
28:10Rachel gets comfortable on a plane.
28:11She's reclining.
28:12Yeah.
28:12Okay.
28:12I don't know if she loves it.
28:15Because this is the loathe area.
28:17You want to know my hot take?
28:18I think they don't recline enough and I wish they all reclined more.
28:21But the seats are like an inch apart from each other.
28:24She did this to me on a plane once.
28:26Charlie Brown.
28:28Eddie Murphy's brother?
28:29Charlie.
28:30I got it.
28:31I got one.
28:32Who is Charlie Murphy?
28:34Eddie Murphy's brother.
28:35Eddie Murphy's brother.
28:37He's also famous.
28:38You so disbelieved Eddie Murphy could have a brother that you made Charlie Brown.
28:41That's mostly for being Eddie Murphy's brother.
28:45Not Charlie Murphy.
28:48Charlie Murphy's brother.
28:49I'm sorry.
28:50Lily gets into defensive friend mode.
28:51And then he's like the word.
28:51What did Charlie-
28:52What did you call Charlie Murphy?
28:54Charlie Murphy?
28:55He did what to my friend?
28:58Move that fucking foot.
29:00Oh.
29:01I literally know you said Charlie Murphy.
29:04But I was like, that can't be a real person.
29:07We all know.
29:09We all know Charlie Brown.
29:10So he must do it.ID
29:11he must be real. Yes,
29:13we know. I think
29:14this is right. I think.
29:15You think she
29:16likes snuggling that much. It's neutral.
29:19It's neutral.
29:20But snuggling's better than being on a plane, period.
29:22It's possible that she would flip these, but that seems a little...
29:25Like, I think Rachel is, like, a sweet, nice person, so I can see...
29:29Rachel, you've never snugged with me.
29:32I can't comment at this time.
29:33That's a very specific experience.
29:34But at the very least, I know Rachel's horny.
29:37And snuggling's part of...
29:38Snuggling is part of that experience.
29:40Snuggling's non-horny.
29:40So then, do we flip snuggling in alone time?
29:43You could be horny in alone time.
29:44I think alone time, because I think...
29:46Even though I don't think of Rachel as, like, necessarily introverted,
29:50I think she's just not mine.
29:51No, I think she enjoys it.
29:51Wait, do we think she loves Pilates the most of all?
29:54We know she loves Pilates.
29:56How many flip socks do you own?
29:58I don't think I can provide that information.
29:59If she said that, then she was.
30:01And Rachel, if this is true, I think that's crazy.
30:05Because Pilates is fine.
30:06All exercise is normal.
30:07She's gonna murder you with her eyes.
30:09Doing exercise is very bad.
30:12Not in my Zumba.
30:13I disagree.
30:14Zumba needs to change the music.
30:15You don't like music that yells Zumba a bunch of times?
30:18No, I really...
30:19Zumba, Zumba, Zumba, Zumba!
30:21Can we please put Top 40 on?
30:23I don't like these sort of proprietary Zumba tracks.
30:26All right, we need a final answer.
30:28Jordan.
30:28I think this is what it is.
30:30Pilates is the only thing I've heard her talk about.
30:32What adult doesn't...
30:33This bitch doesn't be talking about anything.
30:35She knows it's not ever.
30:36That's the only thing I've heard her talk about.
30:37No, no, no, no.
30:39All I know is a big of space?
30:41You heard it here first.
30:42Pilates, Pilates, Pilates, Pilates, Pilates.
30:45Oh, my God.
30:46Pilates is the only thing from this list I've heard her talk about.
30:49Every adult person likes alone time.
30:52Snuggling, I think, is part of sex.
30:54And, you know, that's...
30:55People like that.
30:56And I know Rachel likes that.
30:57And then reclining your seat on a plane.
30:58I think Rachel is like, I paid for the seat, so I'm going to recline it.
31:01And then I think she probably feels neither here nor there about bankers.
31:04I feel like...
31:05I love it.
31:06I'm locking in.
31:07Okay.
31:07Well, you've locked in.
31:09Uh-oh.
31:10And...
31:11Uh-oh.
31:12Much like Lily said, it feels good to be known.
31:14Oh!
31:15It feels good to be known.
31:17We could win this!
31:19Zumba!
31:19Zumba!
31:20Do you like Pilates?
31:21Do you like Pilates?
31:22Charlie Brown?
31:24We can't do any more of that.
31:25I love Pilates.
31:27Yeah.
31:28So that was first.
31:29Alone time is high, because I love, you know, I just...
31:32I've been going to the movies by myself a ton.
31:34It's the best.
31:34I actually really like doing it now.
31:36It's higher than snuggling.
31:37I don't know if I've ever gone to a movie alone.
31:39It's tough.
31:39I feel like these, honestly, all three were just like...
31:42It should have been more like this.
31:45...any combination of these.
31:46Depending on the day.
31:46Okay.
31:47Now, it's interesting that you're reclining your seat back on the plane.
31:51I'm actually more of the politics of stop doing it.
31:53Stop doing it.
31:53And I'm like, stop being in my seat.
31:55Because I think people go back too far.
31:57What if you're slow?
31:58I think the only time you need to be going all the way back on your seat is when it's
32:01an international flight.
32:02Okay.
32:02If it's not an international flight, sit up, bitch.
32:04Okay?
32:05We're getting material.
32:06Use the features.
32:07Wait, what if it's L.A. to Mexico?
32:08L.A. to Mexico?
32:09That's short.
32:10That's too short.
32:11That's not going to St. Louis.
32:12That international doesn't count.
32:13What if the person in front of you reclining?
32:15Six hours is the threshold.
32:16That's fine.
32:16I'm saying it's fine for you to do that or for me to go back.
32:19I'm just saying on short flights, it's crazy how somebody go all the way back.
32:23And now I got the tray table at my knees and I'm trying to do something.
32:27I wish they were back.
32:28What?
32:28My airline goes back.
32:29My tits are fucking spilling onto the thing.
32:33They're huge.
32:34I have a medical condition now.
32:35In the cup holder?
32:36Yeah.
32:37It's disgusting.
32:38And they're like, sit back, ma'am.
32:39Like, put your titties away.
32:40I can't.
32:41I can't.
32:41I can't.
32:42Put your titties in their upright position.
32:45They said they need to put a plane and titty plus.
32:47You need those titties in an overhead chair.
32:50I said, okay.
32:51They said you got all the men on this plane in an upright position.
32:54Yeah, talk them under the seat.
32:55So we got all five points.
32:59Yay.
33:00That's all good about that one.
33:01We need it, guys.
33:02Yeah.
33:02That's a confidence boost.
33:04Oh, good.
33:05Cry or it.
33:07There are three eyes.
33:09Oh, we did need a T.
33:10It.
33:11And a B.
33:11And a B.
33:12Wow.
33:13Oh, good.
33:13Cry.
33:14So we, even more R's.
33:16We need an R and, sorry, an O and an E.
33:18Oh, my God.
33:19Close.
33:19Our ship has finally come in.
33:21Okay.
33:22Jordan's words.
33:24Weddings.
33:26Breakfast in bed.
33:28Ooh.
33:29Friendship.
33:30I feel like all this shit.
33:32Man buns.
33:33Oh, no.
33:34And money.
33:36Number one.
33:38Okay.
33:39Get ready for some war two signaling.
33:41Okay.
33:42Who's got a story?
33:43Lily, you haven't told a story.
33:45Okay.
33:45One time, Jordan and I went to go see Black Klansman at the Union Square AMC.
33:52Do you remember that?
33:53I forgot about that, but I do remember that.
33:55And Jordan goes and she gets her and she's sitting and she's watching trailers and she has her big soda
33:59and she's waiting.
34:00And me, I'm having a fight with the man who checks bags because I have a glass bell jar from
34:07my best friend's bachelorette that says Chris Wiener's bachelorette on it.
34:11And he's like, we don't let glass in whatever.
34:14And I said, oh, I'm so sorry.
34:16This is like commemorative though.
34:17So what if I like dump it out and then like put it in the bottom of the trash can
34:21and then I come back for it later.
34:23This is that like AMC at Union Square.
34:25It's in that second floor.
34:27Nobody goes on that floor.
34:28There's a trash can.
34:29And he goes, it will not be in the trash can if you put it in the trash can for
34:34when you come back.
34:35And I said, sir, I'm emptying the trash can in two minutes.
34:38Sir, he was like, spitefully, I will empty the trash can.
34:41That's what a monster.
34:43I go, this friend, she's really sick.
34:48I start lying.
34:49It's not.
34:49It's fine.
34:50I start lying.
34:50Did you get to keep the commemorative jar?
34:52He would not let me in the movie.
34:54He would not let me in the movie without saying wherever you put it, I'm going to empty that trash
35:00immediately.
35:01I would have done violence.
35:02Jordan is like texting me and she's like, where are you?
35:04And I was like, um, sorry, I'm sobbing speaking to the manager of this AMC.
35:09So I came out and got a refund on my ticket and my soda and we left.
35:13Hey, dude, if you're watching, which we know you are.
35:16My friend died and that was her.
35:17They would be accommodating.
35:18That was her.
35:20That was her glass.
35:21I was bringing her to see the movie.
35:22She said she doesn't want to see Black Clansman before she died.
35:26Did she wish?
35:27Her ashes.
35:28Her ashes.
35:29Really close.
35:30Her ashes were in my iced tea.
35:32She was late on deadline when the first cast members were listed.
35:34She was like, I gotta see.
35:36She was like, I don't try to.
35:37Speaking of dying friends and also weddings, let's bring our attention to Jordan's priorities.
35:42Jordan loves us.
35:43It's a lot of good stuff.
35:44Money.
35:45Money makes the world go wrong.
35:46You think money?
35:48Okay.
35:49Friendship.
35:50I think friendship is very high for Jordan.
35:51I think friendship is vital to Jordan.
35:53Jordan is a friend's person.
35:55I think friendship is first.
35:56Everything I know about her, she's got stories about friends and being with people.
36:01It seems like you're with people a lot.
36:03I think she would cut me off for $1 million.
36:05You think?
36:07I feel like she would put that lower.
36:09Who would put that?
36:10Even if it was just to signal, virtue signaling.
36:12No one's doing that.
36:13I love a wedding.
36:15Weddings sometimes have dry chicken.
36:17But she's planning her wedding now, and it's not a wedding, and it's still stressful.
36:22So I think she finds the wedding industrial complex.
36:24I think she loves weddings, but she's been too bad.
36:26Do we feel pretty neutral about men buns?
36:28She's been too bad.
36:28I think men buns is where it should be.
36:29Yeah, men buns are bad.
36:31I will defer to you, Lily, if you feel that Jordan is a pig for money.
36:37I think she likes money.
36:38I like breakfast in bed there, because there are bad parts of it.
36:41She is always bringing breakfast in bed to her wife.
36:43I know.
36:44That's why I'm like, maybe it's here.
36:46That's exactly, because she's always doing it.
36:48This is a romantic act of service that can't be purchased with money.
36:50Yeah, I think she does it because she likes to be the cook and to provide.
36:55But I think friendship would be higher.
36:56I think friendship is higher.
36:58Because she loved to talk about friendship.
36:59I think breakfast in bed.
37:00And she just proved what a good friend she is that she did it and wasn't like,
37:04peace, I'm going to go watch Black Klan's.
37:05I'm going to check this movie out.
37:07That is so nice of you.
37:08Yeah.
37:09That is so nice.
37:10I would have been like, I'm going to let this man by yourself.
37:13Okay, any strong opinions, because I feel pretty good.
37:16Locked.
37:17Wow.
37:20Uh-oh.
37:21Uh-oh.
37:22Uh-oh.
37:22We're in trouble.
37:22She's performatively making a thing.
37:25Oh!
37:26To be known as to be a capitalist little piggy!
37:29Point, point!
37:31You guys got it 100% right.
37:34Hey!
37:36Yeah.
37:37You guys are my nearest and dearest, so it's not surprising whatsoever.
37:40But yes, friendship is the most important thing to me in the entire world.
37:44But for how much money would you end your friendship with me?
37:47None.
37:47And that's fucking crazy that you said that.
37:49People have offered me money to not be friends with you, and I've turned it down.
37:53Yeah, you won't take any of my calls.
37:55Those people are cheap.
37:57And then, yeah, money, because there's so much good stuff you could do with it, right?
38:00I would like, if I had a ton of money, I would buy all of us places to live.
38:05Yes, I do make breakfast in bed for my wife on a regular basis.
38:08And I do love it.
38:09Absolutely good.
38:10You're crazy, I love you so much that you thought it was higher than money?
38:12Yeah.
38:13Rekha.
38:13I possible.
38:14Because you, that is a thing you like, that you're like, I can give you really nice home
38:19cooked meals all the time.
38:20You think she likes the niche thing of breakfast in bed more than all money that could pay out
38:24her home and debt?
38:26Wow, okay.
38:28Well, thank you.
38:29I have so much comfort.
38:31Don't be friends with her.
38:32I'll pay you a million dollars.
38:33Don't be friends with her.
38:34A million?
38:34Only a million?
38:35Over time and installments are all the way.
38:39Weddings, you guys were completely spot on.
38:41I've been to some good ones, been to some bad ones.
38:42I'm not having one because I think they're stressful and too expensive.
38:45But yeah, wow, you guys really clocked me in.
38:47Yay!
38:48That feels good.
38:49Oh my god, let's get our letter.
38:51Known, known, known.
38:52Completely unknown.
38:53Negmas.
38:54Utterly mysterious.
38:56It's so funny.
38:57Hey.
38:57Well, I just really like Benatunberg.
38:59Yours was so fake.
39:00It was crazy.
39:00We should have known how fake you are and then done it based off that.
39:02Look, we got an O, everybody.
39:05That's great.
39:06Priority.
39:06We need an E.
39:08Prioritists.
39:09It would have been too much if we'd all gotten everyone's right.
39:12Yeah.
39:12It would have been magic.
39:13It would have felt fake.
39:14Fake.
39:15Okay.
39:15It would have kind of granted.
39:16Fake, like, you know?
39:17Yeah.
39:17This is me, everybody.
39:18Okay.
39:19So I'm just going to go in the tank a little.
39:21Deleting your browser history.
39:23Oh, mysterious.
39:26Checklists.
39:27Okay, organized.
39:28Keep it inside.
39:30Being organized.
39:32Okay.
39:32This is, like, all the same.
39:34Very British spelling.
39:35Smushed avocado and toast.
39:37Oh, God.
39:38And the group chat.
39:40Okay.
39:41Go to the tank.
39:42Go to the tank.
39:43Somebody tell a story.
39:44Okay, when's another altercation someone's had in public?
39:47Rekha?
39:48A man parked in a compact parking spot.
39:51I hate which they're...
39:53A man are not allowed to do that.
39:55Why do they even make them that small?
39:56They are not allowed to do that.
39:57My compact spot is so tight.
39:59It's so tiny.
40:00And your car is so big.
40:01And there was no parking.
40:02So I parked in the compact spot that was next to this person.
40:06And I was like, I'm not going to be a super long time.
40:09It was really tight.
40:10But I'm wily...
40:13How tight?
40:14How tight?
40:14How tight?
40:15I mean, it was pretty close.
40:16But I could get out by being, like, crazy.
40:20And so I get back.
40:24Willful obtuseness drives me fucking crazy.
40:26Because it's a form of arrogance.
40:27He comes back.
40:28He's like...
40:29And I was like, hi, sorry.
40:31Like that guy in the second line.
40:32I was like, are you trying to get out?
40:33He's like, why would you do this?
40:35Him and his whole family.
40:36I was like, sorry, what?
40:38And he's like, why would you do this?
40:39And I'm like, there was no...
40:41He's like, why wouldn't you park somewhere else?
40:42I'm like, there's nowhere to park?
40:44Yeah.
40:44And then he was like, I can't get out.
40:47And I'm like, first of all, we're actually being kind of hyperbolic.
40:51Because you can get out and you can access a full side of your car.
40:54Did you say this is a compact parking spot?
40:56Here's what I said.
40:57She slept as children.
40:58Here's what I did say.
40:59I said, hey, I said I'm sorry.
41:01I don't know what else I can give to you.
41:03Ooh!
41:03And then he was like...
41:04Did he cry?
41:06Yeah.
41:06Yeah, I left him crying.
41:07That is like...
41:09That's strong.
41:09But I was just like, what do you want me to do?
41:11I already apologize if you think I'm in the wrong.
41:14Like, I think that is high road.
41:16High road, Rekha.
41:17Friends, what do you think my priorities are here?
41:20I think these are desirable things.
41:22Yeah.
41:23But in which order?
41:25I don't know which order.
41:25I'm not saying I know which order.
41:27I think being organized is broader and more general than checklist.
41:31And that makes it further off.
41:33More desirable.
41:34Yeah, I agree.
41:35This is generally...
41:36Do you not think the group chat is high?
41:39I love the group chat.
41:40It could be like...
41:40I agree.
41:41But I don't...
41:42She has a baby.
41:42I can imagine it being really annoying.
41:45You think I'm a baby?
41:46She's a baby.
41:47I...
41:48How old do you think I am?
41:49Now, I believe I said she has a baby.
41:51But we can roll it back.
41:53Has a baby.
41:53And I full out just...
41:55I heard is a baby.
41:56She's a little stupid baby.
41:57So she probably doesn't like group chats.
41:59Babies love group chats.
42:00I think I'm like, they're like...
42:01I just mean it's probably like irritating when that stuff is going off like...
42:05And you can't...
42:05But the group chats were the gossip.
42:07Yeah.
42:07But I feel like sometimes you're thinking you're maybe not going to be involved as much because
42:11you have a baby.
42:11Yeah.
42:12And so then you're saying, you want the group chat to be coming.
42:15The group chat is helpful because you don't have to individually text everybody.
42:17Yeah.
42:18You're getting updates, you know.
42:19I also think it says the group chat, not a group chat.
42:23So this is your favorite group chat.
42:25I would have to assume it's like your favorite one.
42:26You know, it's not like a bachelorette party group chat.
42:29The gals.
42:29But it could be like the family where you all send photos of like...
42:33This is not family.
42:34If that's that family group chat...
42:36This is not the family.
42:37Yeah, that's at the end.
42:37I don't think anybody likes the family group chat.
42:39Does everyone's family group chat just like have misinformation in it?
42:42It's chaos.
42:43It's AI in there.
42:44It's all kinds of Christianity memes.
42:45Look at this dog.
42:46This dog saved a baby.
42:48No, it didn't.
42:49I'm debunking things.
42:50I'm having fights with my brother about what Christianity is.
42:53Every uncle's like, I discovered a new medicine.
42:55I'm like, you know who Jesus was?
42:57It's crazy.
42:58You didn't hear Jesus.
42:59No, my brother was really getting into a fight with all of us about like,
43:02I don't understand why we need to respect Jesus at all.
43:05Tell me why.
43:06Like it was one of those jubilees.
43:08You were defending a jubilee?
43:09I was like, what?
43:10Why are we doing this?
43:11So you were defending Jesus?
43:13So I'm in here like defending Jesus.
43:15I'm like, what am I doing?
43:16I don't know.
43:17Jesus needs you defending him.
43:19He has a lot of support.
43:20He has a lot of defenders.
43:22I feel that this is like a neutral situation.
43:25I feel like it can really go either way.
43:27I could see her being like, I love that.
43:29It's so good because it is.
43:30Or she could be like, everybody likes it.
43:33I think she likes it fine.
43:36I think it's neutral.
43:37Now, what about deleting your browser history?
43:39How did that end up so low?
43:40Because who needs, she's an adult.
43:42Who needs to hide that?
43:43And I don't think, Becca, what films are you looking at?
43:46The only thing I think of is if she was Googling like,
43:48porn where guys look not like my husband or something that would be like upsetting.
43:53That's what she would do.
43:56Let me save that porn that doesn't look like David Curran.
44:00That's the only thing I can think of though.
44:01We have the same search terms.
44:03Crazy.
44:04Let's wait.
44:05I have to lock this down.
44:07I think the group chat is fun.
44:10I think the group chat is where you get gossip.
44:14I think the group chat could be above checklist.
44:16I agree.
44:17Above checklist.
44:18I don't know.
44:19I could see it.
44:20Break it up?
44:21It feels like silly to put two things that are almost the same right next to each other.
44:25But Becca's very silly.
44:26Oh.
44:27So.
44:27Oh, oh, oh, Grant.
44:29Going off.
44:32Going off.
44:32I think I feel, do we feel good?
44:34This looks good to me.
44:35I'm fine with that.
44:36I think we at least have like one right.
44:38I'm lucky.
44:39All we need is an E.
44:41All you need is an E and you did pretty good.
44:44Oh.
44:45All right.
44:47Okay.
44:48Um, you're so close.
44:49I love a lot.
44:51I love four out of five of these things.
44:54Um, love being organized.
44:56I'll take a whole closet apart, put it back together.
44:58Crazy.
44:59That's a great Saturday for me.
45:00That's awful.
45:01But my number one, last weekend, I was a bridesmaid and I got to give a speech.
45:07And were it not for the group chat, I don't think I would be in that wedding in the same
45:12way.
45:12I would be there.
45:13But would I get to give a speech?
45:15I don't know.
45:16It's the group chat.
45:16Yeah.
45:17Wow.
45:17I have my high school girlies, Sisterhood of the Traveling Ants, the group chat's number
45:21one.
45:22So the ants are traveling?
45:23Sisterhood of the Traveling Ants.
45:25So this is wrong.
45:26A-N-T-Z?
45:26They're aunties.
45:28Oh.
45:28They're the aunties.
45:29Not the kind of...
45:30A-N-T-Z, the movie?
45:31Your whole brain is broken in half today.
45:36Charlie Brown?
45:37Marty Allen's answer to Bugs Life.
45:39You talk about Charlie Brown.
45:40Not the DreamWorks picture.
45:44And not the DreamWorks picture.
45:46Well, we don't know what your speech was about, so...
45:48Yeah, so group chat number one.
45:50Being organized number two.
45:51Okay, great.
45:52So we just flip those.
45:53I almost put smashed avocado on toast second because food is good.
45:57I like food.
45:57I like food a lot.
45:59But being organized and checklists are a recurring thing.
46:02Smashed avocado on toast in particular.
46:04Haven't had it in a while.
46:05I could go for it right now.
46:07It's lunchtime and I'm hungry.
46:10Deleting browser history.
46:11Never going to do it.
46:12Can't make me.
46:13I search on private sometimes.
46:15I would say...
46:16Cal Drogo, David Kern's mashup.
46:18Oh, you found my website?
46:20What?
46:20It's just...
46:21One of those baby generators where you want to see what your kids look like.
46:23You put in David and Cal Drogo.
46:25I'm sorry.
46:25It's just David's head on Cal Drogo's body.
46:28Can we see it?
46:28No, no, no, no, no.
46:29Can we see it?
46:29Cal Drogo's head on David Kern's body.
46:32Oh, good.
46:32Yeah.
46:34Different than we were all about to.
46:35I'll take them both.
46:36That's a reverse movie.
46:37They're both double teaming me.
46:38How about that?
46:39Those two...
46:40These two...
46:40Those Minotaur's...
46:42Kern's, I did not mean to call you a reverse mermaid.
46:44I don't know why.
46:45Do we like this?
46:45Do we keep this in, David?
46:46I don't know.
46:47Let you decide in the edit.
46:48You're welcome.
46:49I don't know why I do this, but when...
46:50After I look at porn, I do delete my last hour search history.
46:54Hour?
46:56See...
46:57See, you just kind of open up.
46:58Yeah, she saw their four hours.
47:00She just released the last hour.
47:02Really good thing.
47:03One hour?
47:04You're watching film.
47:07You love that.
47:08The all-hiver of porn.
47:09I love film now.
47:10Okay, let's see what letters we got, because we could have won the game right now.
47:14We need these letters.
47:15But they also got letters.
47:16Okay.
47:17So we got...
47:19We won.
47:20An E!
47:20Oh, that's perfect.
47:22But did they win?
47:24Did they win?
47:24Because they needed...
47:26An R, you stupid idiots, and a J!
47:29Losers!
47:29Hey!
47:29The game's a loser!
47:31That's great!
47:31And we're the winners!
47:33Wow!
47:34That's huge.
47:35It feels...
47:36That's very exciting.
47:36Way to go, us!
47:38I personally am going to make it a point to be more well-known by my friends.
47:42I'm going to announce so that the next time we play this, it'll be easy.
47:44I'm going to start announcing things more about myself.
47:47I hate Pilates.
47:48I love Pilates.
47:49I hate...
47:49Wait, which one?
47:50Which one is it?
47:50Well...
47:51Yeah, why would you say that?
47:52Those are the only phrases that Jordan has ever heard out of Rachel's mouth.
47:56Yeah.
47:56It's true.
47:56Like a doll.
47:57We've had many conversations.
47:59Many, hey.
47:59Yeah, you work together.
48:01Like Charlie Brown.
48:04Lily's favorite actor.
48:06We learned so much about how Grant feels about Greta Thunberg.
48:09Yeah, call me.
48:11I feel closer to all of you now.
48:12Thank you so much for playing this game with me.
48:15Thanks for having us.
48:15And Lily, thank you for bringing it.
48:17Thank you for having us in your parlor.
48:17Thank you for having us.
48:18How sweaty is my upper brow?
48:20Very.
48:20That's it for Parlor Room, where strategy meets shenanigans.
48:23We'll see you next time.
48:24Bye-bye.
48:25How's everybody's upper lip, though?
48:27I really am impressed that we got somebody exactly right.
48:31I think Grant is more of a liar than I thought he was.
48:33Yeah.
48:34And you can keep that in there.
48:35And keep that in.
48:36And show it to him.
48:36Keep that.
48:36I'm being accused of virtue signaling, and I don't do that.
48:40I'm not down with that woke shit.
48:42I mean, you can have charisma and do a pickup line.
48:45And I think that they were seeing pickup lines as like, does your ass hurt because you fell
48:51from heaven?
48:51Like that kind of thing.
48:52You think that's how it goes?
48:53What if they just walk up and they say, hey, you like improv?
48:57I think that's disgusting.
48:59Is your hole torn because you fell from heaven?
49:02That's my recollection of it.
49:03Is your anus bleeding out the butt?
49:05Do you have a rectal medical issue?
49:07Does Jesus poke you out of there?
49:10I think it's a pickup line when it's not working.
49:13And I think it's charisma when it works.
49:15I'll agree with that.
49:16I agree.
49:17Because if a hot man with Riz comes up to me and says, is your asshole torn and bleeding
49:22because you fell from heaven?
49:23And I like it.
49:24You'd say, yes it is.
49:26Yes it is.
49:27That's Riz.
49:28I'm
49:29I'm
49:29I'm
49:29I'm
49:30I'm
49:30I'm
Comments