- 23 hours ago
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00:01I wanted your love, but I got uncertainty
00:06It had so hard to understand you
00:10I'm not good at you to be
00:13Now the places that we knew
00:16Remind me of how we knew
00:19Excuse me, madam, but we've had complaints about excessive incarceration
00:22Please leave!
00:23Cheeky satcha!
00:25Orange juice with vodka!
00:32Hi, Mum
00:35I suppose Marie's told you she could never keep quiet
00:38Is that new?
00:41No, it's ages old
00:42You see, I would have bought you that
00:43I'll buy you things and never wear them
00:44So what has he been saying?
00:46Oh, he's the expert now
00:49Apparently you can get a form from the town hall
00:51No lawyers, no expense
00:53You can get divorced for 45 quid
00:54Don't you need a reason?
00:56How much did it cost?
00:59I don't know, eighty?
01:00Eighteen?
01:02Eighty?
01:03On a shirt
01:04You must have said why
01:06I stopped listening a long time back
01:09Oh, and he's always got something to nag about
01:12It's like Marie Robert taking off like that
01:14Oh, it's food and drink to him
01:15Nothing he likes more than a bit of trouble
01:18What have you said?
01:19Oh, I'm looking at flats
01:22Nice little place in Hale
01:23I've kept myself in trim
01:24And I'm a fine old time
01:27You can show me round
01:28You can be my guide
01:30Singles bars
01:31Gee, you must know them all
01:36Come on then, you haven't said a word
01:38How's it going?
01:40That date of yours
01:42The new girlfriend
01:43Erm, not so bad
01:45You're still seeing her then?
01:47How long's that been now?
01:50What's her name?
01:51Rosalie, I'm with a customer
01:53Oh
01:54Sorry
01:58There's all sorts of benefits with the club card, sir
02:01Save up points
02:02You can get air miles
02:03Weekend breaks
02:04Are there any other benefits in store?
02:06What would you have in mind, sir?
02:08I just thought there might be the chance to shag one of the staff
02:11Exactly what kind of shag did sir have in mind?
02:14Oh, I thought the full fuck
02:15Oh, very good, sir
02:17Has some special offer this week
02:19Bonus points
02:21I could have it delivered to your car for ten minutes
02:23This goes well beyond my job description
02:25And he didn't pay for it
02:27If he said he did
02:28He's lying
02:29It's all on insurance
02:34Hold on a minute
02:36Hiya
02:36We're going out
02:38It's a student night in paradise
02:40It's about time I had an educated shag
02:42I can't
02:43I'm busy
02:44You're never busy
02:45Oh yeah, right, Cameron
02:47Fuck off!
02:49Vince, you've got to
02:50My parents are going mad again
02:51They're off their fucking heads
02:57He was dancing like a swat
03:00You see, when he looks nice
03:01And then he's dancing like a fucking swat
03:04Oh yeah
03:08I'll put him to bed
03:09I'll put him to bed
03:09You drive home
03:11I'll be around in twenty minutes
03:12And it's bonus points, remember?
03:14I should have gone for that two-for-one on this cafe
03:17Vince!
03:19Vince!
03:19Help me!
03:20Oh Jesus Christ, help me!
03:22They're gonna kill me!
03:23They've got knives and everything
03:24They wouldn't stop following
03:25They're gonna kill me
03:26Who?
03:27No one, you fucker
03:28It's just a good entrance
03:29Look, it's me!
03:30I'm back
03:31I'm home
03:32Rodrigo went mad
03:33Took me out
03:34Chasing around Ballum
03:35With a gun
03:36What about your job?
03:37Oh, I've been there
03:38Put me on a Saturday night
03:39Saturday night
03:40And me
03:41Me, a homosexual
03:43Can I stay at yours?
03:45Yeah, but I was staying at Cameron's
03:48This is Cameron
03:49Cameron Alexander
03:50We've sort of met actually
03:51I was at Philip Delaney's funeral
03:53Oh, Australian
03:54Very nice
03:55Down under
03:57Didgeridoos
03:57Mammals with pouches
03:58Oh, loads of material
03:59Fab
04:00Here we go
04:01It's alright
04:02You sort this lot out
04:03I'll see you tomorrow
04:04Don't mind me
04:07Oh, are we alright?
04:10See you tomorrow
04:19I turned my back for a second
04:20Vincent Tyler
04:21Is that or is that not a boyfriend?
04:24It's not boyfriend boyfriend
04:25We're just having a laugh
04:27He's a boyfriend you liar
04:28Boyfriend
04:29Capital B
04:30He is not
04:31He's just a bloke
04:32That's all
04:34Look like a boyfriend to me
04:36Give it a rest
04:37Alright then tell me
04:38When you have a wank
04:38Do you think about him?
04:40What's that got to do with it?
04:41Do you think about Cameron?
04:44No
04:45Congratulations
04:45He's your boyfriend
04:47I suppose
04:48Oh, sound happy for God's sake
04:50Good shag?
04:52Magnificent shag
04:52Well there you are then
04:54I don't know, it's like
04:56He's a bit non-seen
04:58I mean he comes out with me
05:00He goes to Canal Street
05:01But he's sort of outside it
05:03Do you know what I mean?
05:04Sometimes he looks at me like I've been brought up by a pack of wolves
05:08Anyway
05:09Early days
05:12So let me check the list
05:13I can't say I'm feeling gay
05:14I can't say anything's bent
05:16Or queer
05:16And I certainly can't put my feet in the pub
05:18Just, you know, don't think you're funny
05:20Because you're not
05:23And talk to
05:24And why'd I talk myself to death?
05:25It's your turn
05:26Go in and talk
05:27And I don't mean chat
05:28I mean proper talk
05:29How come you've got keys?
05:31They're getting older
05:31Of course they've got keys
05:37Hello
05:38Careful
05:38That's the carpet
05:39He's paid boys
05:40He can do what he likes with it
05:43Boys not with you?
05:44No, I thought we'd have a bit of peace and quiet
05:46Who were they with?
05:46No, when I left some plane on the side of a cliff
05:51He's in the garden
05:52Don't mention the car
05:53That noise in the booth set him off
05:55Did he go to bed?
05:57Nervous stomach
05:58Threw up his tea in bed before watch time
06:09It's looking good
06:12Sure do
06:15As things
06:24You busy?
06:28Yeah
06:32Good
06:39There's a fork there
06:43Unless that gear's too expensive for digging
07:03Oh, good timing
07:06Blimey
07:07How many have you got?
07:08It's Bernie
07:09He's saving up for a carburettor
07:11Right, so Mum
07:12This is Cameron
07:13Yeah, we've sort of met before actually
07:15And this is Bernie
07:16He's the lodger
07:16It's not a carburett
07:18It's a crankshaft
07:19And this is Nathan, lodger number two
07:21I'm not a lodger
07:22I'm a refugee
07:23Don't cross me off, beefy
07:24There's more to call
07:26So
07:27Accountant, he says
07:28Yeah, that's right
07:29This is all cash in hand
07:30So don't go sniffing about
07:31Why say a word?
07:34Own house?
07:36Yes
07:37Own car?
07:39Yes
07:40He's got his own teeth as well
07:41Don't you be so sure
07:42They've made Polygrip all but invisible
07:44Isn't that right, Bernard?
07:45You cheeky tongue
07:46Six here
07:46All right then, Cameron
07:48You'll do
07:50Hey, Irene
07:50Our Vincent's got himself a fella
07:53Very nice too
07:54Is it booggery?
07:55It means that I'm getting old
07:56Come on
07:57These boxes won't shift yourselves by magics
07:59Do you like that with all your boyfriends?
08:00Ha!
08:00What boyfriends?
08:01You're the first
08:05Right, what are you having? Tea?
08:11That's all that old grey nonsense
08:12It's plain old tea bag
08:13Mind you like to lump it
08:14What do you mean exactly?
08:15Tea bags
08:17What do you mean what do I mean?
08:18Tea bags
08:18Tea in a bag
08:19A bag full of tea
08:20Look
08:22All right, that's quite good
08:24We did the same sort of thing on walkabout in the bush
08:27You had to suspend tea leaves in the membrane sake of a newborn koala
08:30That's nice
08:31In a meaty sort of a way
08:36Are you kidding me?
08:39Yep
08:42It's all right, I knew
08:43You can stay
08:44Nathan, did you get the docket?
08:46Yeah
08:46Check the numbers
08:47They'll rob you under the lines
08:49As a matter of fact
08:50I've had loads of boyfriends
08:52Like who?
08:53Simon Harris for starters
08:54Oh, you didn't like him
08:55And Darren Griffiths
08:57He didn't like you
08:58And Dominic Baxter
09:00He stole all your money
09:01Yeah
09:01Mum, thanks
09:03I'm just saying
09:04There's been loads
09:04So don't think you know everything about me
09:07What about you, Nathan?
09:07You had a boyfriend
09:08I am only 15
09:10All right
09:10For a moment there, I thought you were the voice of experience
09:13Obviously not
09:13You have to go
09:16You have to go
09:20To go
09:20Sit in here
09:22There
09:24Now
09:25I hold it
09:26You take that yoke off
09:38Oh, I suppose you've heard.
09:42Yeah.
09:46Yeah, well, it's, uh, we've changed our minds.
09:53It's that endowment policy.
09:55Matured last month.
09:57Might as well use it.
09:59We looked at the sums, but, uh, that divorce would have eaten it up.
10:04So, your mother's made the booking.
10:06Paris, next month.
10:10Right.
10:13Is that it?
10:15Is that all it was?
10:17This week's game?
10:20Oh, keeps her busy.
10:22What about Marie?
10:23You know, she's been worried sick.
10:25Like, she's got the kids to look after and...
10:28Fine.
10:30Fine.
10:31Why am I surprised?
10:33You just enjoy yourself, all right?
10:36You just enjoy yourself.
10:37Waste our time.
10:38It's fine.
10:52It's fine.
10:54Stay married for 33 years.
10:55Anyone's going to end up like that if you spent more time with them.
10:59Learn the language, Stuart.
11:10Boys will be home soon.
11:12Things to do.
11:14See you then.
11:15You could tell them you're gay.
11:17They're not going to drop dead of a heart attack, aren't you?
11:19If they do, we get the house.
11:20Even if I was shagging a different woman every night of the week, it's none of their business.
11:24But I've seen you.
11:24You're so bloody proud.
11:26How come they don't fit into any of that?
11:28You can't talk to those two about anything.
11:30How long does it take you to tell them when Robert was leaving?
11:32He was halfway down the M6.
11:34But I did tell them in the end.
11:36What else is I going to do?
11:37Lie for the rest of my life?
11:39Fuck off, Marie.
11:42Fuck off yourself.
11:51I did warn you.
11:52Call around my mother's.
11:53You get a list of shopping.
11:55Hiya.
11:56Hiya.
11:57Did she get the felt pens?
11:58Yep.
11:59What does she need felt pens for?
12:00God knows what goes on in Hazelworld.
12:02Last Christmas, this bloke promised a tinsel.
12:05Ten pence a truckload.
12:06It all went wrong.
12:07And she ended up with half a ton of coffee.
12:09Oh, would you look at that.
12:15Hello?
12:17Hello?
12:18Hello?
12:19Hello?
12:20I said hello.
12:22I said hello.
12:24Oi!
12:25I said hello.
12:26Look at me.
12:27I said hello.
12:32That's right, because Hazel had half a tonne of coffee in the shed.
12:34Six months it sat there.
12:35By August it was solid.
12:36Bernie had to chip it out.
12:38Fuck them.
12:39Just fuck them.
12:46It's mum and dad.
12:48If you're ready, uh-oh, if you're ready, daddy, if you're ready, uh-oh, what is she like?
12:56Here we go, Janice.
12:57What you having?
12:59I'll get them.
13:00No?
13:00The first one's on me.
13:01Well, come on, love your eyes.
13:03What's that then?
13:04It's my love.
13:05She's kidding.
13:07And Marie, like, she's all concerned.
13:09Remember, when she was 17, I know about you.
13:12I've seen your magazines.
13:13I'm going to tell mum and dad, I can pay her, who needs it, drink.
13:18So what's the problem?
13:20Long story.
13:23There's an idea, Nathan.
13:25You get them in.
13:25I've seen your pocket money.
13:26You get twice what I earn.
13:28What do you think you're doing?
13:29Come out for a drink.
13:30It's allowed, isn't it?
13:31I was just telling your mother.
13:32Best day of my life.
13:34My son came out.
13:35I find all this.
13:36It's not just for you, Nathan.
13:37It's shaming me.
13:39I'm with Hazel.
13:39I'm not bothering you.
13:40You're following me around.
13:42It's shaming.
13:45We're going.
13:46Do you need to wear a quid in man's home?
13:47Shut up, donk.
13:49She's made the effort.
13:50She got a new skirt.
13:51Listen to her.
13:52Jiminy cricket.
13:54Nathan, one drink.
13:58Fuck them.
13:59Just fuck them.
14:03Give it time.
14:05Vince used to be embarrassed every time I came out.
14:08He still is some nights, but that's regarded for you.
14:10I'm a drink.
14:12I'm staying and I'll keep coming back.
14:14I won't give up on him.
14:15I'll keep coming back.
14:16Uh-oh, yeah.
14:18Jump up in the air.
14:19If you're ready, uh-oh, you're ready, steady.
14:26Piss off, Christian.
14:27Did you hear that, boys?
14:29They told me to piss off.
14:30Nathan Maloney can swear.
14:32Come on, then.
14:33Tell us the rest.
14:34Everyone says you've left home.
14:35What happened?
14:36Trouble at home?
14:36Your mother been shagging about.
14:38Shut up.
14:38You see how she's just so wrong?
14:40Because I've shafted her.
14:41She was begging.
14:43She screwed with dog yarn with her.
14:45Oh, did Nathan run away?
14:47Poor little boy because his father can't get it up.
14:50What's the matter, Nathan?
14:52What happened?
14:52She asked you to give her one.
14:54Fuck off, kid.
14:56That's my lip.
15:00See ya.
15:02I'm taking you home.
15:05Hazel's making pizza.
15:06She's cooking it herself.
15:07She's got this recipe.
15:09Said home.
15:11Twat.
15:23Go on.
15:24Give them a chance.
15:26I'm still going back to Hazel's.
15:27Nathan, your mother and father know.
15:30You've got no idea how lucky you are.
15:32Go and argue with...
15:33Go and shout.
15:34Go and...
15:34Go on what to tell you with them.
15:35I don't care.
15:36Just get in there.
15:39If I do,
15:41can I have another shag?
15:43Cheeky.
15:50Good luck.
15:55What the fuck?
16:00Jesus.
16:07What the fuck do you think you're doing?
16:11Shit.
16:11It's my dad.
16:12Nathan, get in that house.
16:14He's 15 years old.
16:15He's 15.
16:16That boy is 15.
16:18So?
16:18The chief's only six months old and you've still buggered it.
16:21You little bastard.
16:22I'm warning you.
16:23Nine, nine.
16:24One more nine and I'll have the police.
16:25I'm warning him.
16:26Bring him here.
16:26Tell him what you did to a 15-year-old boy.
16:28Good point.
16:30Ron, what the hell are you doing?
16:31I'm doing what I should have done ages ago.
16:33This is him, is it?
16:34Stuart.
16:34Stuart Jones.
16:35No, he's for God's sake though.
16:36He's a stupid.
16:38Janice, take him inside.
16:39Take him inside right now.
16:41Take him upstairs and lock him in the closet.
16:43You little bastard.
16:44You little bastard.
16:46I haven't seen the car.
16:48What?
16:48I haven't seen the car inside.
16:50Helen, get fucking out.
16:51Just go inside, everybody.
16:52Please go inside the bloody house.
16:54What's he done?
16:55What's Nathan's done?
16:58Bastard!
17:01Get inside.
17:03Get inside.
17:05By the tracelor.
17:14You want some more?
17:16Because you can have some more.
17:18You can have plenty.
17:21You little bastard.
17:23Roy, sweetheart.
17:24It's less than a little.
17:26No.
17:38And he's like, nine, nine, one more nine.
17:40My dad's like red.
17:41He's got this face like he's exploding.
17:43I'm thinking if he bursts a blood vessel on this suit,
17:45he's a dead man.
17:46Nine, nine, one more nine.
17:48I'm phoning your mother.
17:49Someone has to.
17:51Latham Maloney, you're a lucky bastard.
17:53First of all, you invent a violent father, then you actually get one.
17:57How's that luck?
17:58Long story.
17:59He said 15.
18:0115 years old!
18:03Well, it's only 8 o'clock, Stuart.
18:05We have time for an encore.
18:06What's that supposed to mean?
18:08You've taken a family and torn it apart.
18:09What's next?
18:11It wasn't his fault, be fair.
18:14He was trying to get him home.
18:15How come he wasn't home in the first place?
18:16Who's fault's that?
18:17I was doing the right thing.
18:19He was trying to help.
18:21Driving up in that bloody jeep for all the world to see.
18:24Supper.
18:24Oh, now, now, girls, time out.
18:26Oh, shut your face.
18:27Come on, let's have a scrap.
18:29Never mind his mum and dad.
18:30So long as you've got a good story for the pub, you're happy.
18:32Oh, that's right.
18:32Everyone have a go at me.
18:33They're coming from the other side of the world now to have a go at me.
18:39What?
18:40Stuart, where the hell have you been?
18:42You've returned just one of my calls.
18:43Look, you wouldn't believe the day I've had.
18:45I've been attacked.
18:46Yeah.
18:46Look, can you come around this evening?
18:48It's quite important.
18:49I can't.
18:49The jeeps are right off.
18:50I'm seeing Alfred tomorrow.
18:51I won't forget.
18:52I'm not one of these bastards.
18:53There's the slightest bit of sympathy.
18:54It's all that Nathan's fault.
18:55And I get the blame.
18:56I was being nice.
18:57I tried to help.
18:58Won't bother next time.
18:59Stuart.
19:00I'm getting married.
19:04What the fuck do you mean?
19:09I'll go to the restaurant and see if I can get a table for later.
19:11Better cancel.
19:13My visa's running out.
19:15If I get married, if we can convince the Home Office it's a proper relationship, I can stay.
19:21It's that simple.
19:22And Romy offered.
19:23I didn't ask her.
19:25It's just a certificate.
19:26It doesn't mean anything.
19:28I didn't say it did.
19:29Why is everyone having a go at me?
19:31Just look at you.
19:32Of course you're worried, Stu.
19:34I mean, there's Alfred.
19:36What about him?
19:38Well, obviously I'll have to live here full time.
19:41I've checked up on it.
19:42The Home Office can investigate whenever they want.
19:44So I'll be here.
19:46Permanently.
19:47I've got no choice.
19:48But you're his father.
19:49Who said I wasn't?
19:51You could be here just as much as me.
19:53If you made the effort.
19:59I'm sorry, do you mind?
20:00I'm starving.
20:00I can't myself.
20:01What was it again?
20:03Cameron.
20:05I guess you've known him for ages, Stuart and Vince.
20:08Far too long.
20:10I've always been like this.
20:12Vince ran after him.
20:14It's the greatest love story never told.
20:17Cameron, long after you are gone, he'll still have Vince.
20:20Stuart's little acolyte.
20:21Poor sod.
20:23If there's any consolation, Vince can wait all he likes.
20:25That shag's never going to happen.
20:32Shit.
20:33You're with Vince.
20:37Yeah.
20:39Shit.
20:41Easy mistake.
20:44Still with Vince.
20:46I mean, he loves him.
20:47They love each other.
20:48They're friends.
20:48I love my friends, don't you?
20:50That's all it is.
20:51Friendship.
20:53It's nice if I didn't know.
20:57There's some camposola in the back of the fridge.
20:59Help yourself.
21:02Have it all.
21:10Vince.
21:11I love you.
21:14I love you.
21:16And you can't tell me you'll need us.
21:19All I want you.
21:42I've been to C. Frank, back in the hospital.
21:45I thought I'd just...
21:48Well, anyway, you've got your hands full.
21:51Alfred.
21:53He's Romy's.
21:54My friend Romy, she's having a party.
21:56I said I'd look after him.
21:57All that cigarette smoking stuff.
22:00She leaves her baby with you?
22:02Yeah.
22:04How is he, Frank?
22:08Oh, he's all right.
22:11Look, are we standing here?
22:15Yeah, sorry.
22:20It must cost a bit this place.
22:24I can afford it.
22:27Overdrawn?
22:29No.
22:36I suppose you'll think we're mad.
22:40Completely.
22:42It wasn't a joke.
22:44The divorce.
22:46I did think about it.
22:49I'm only 55.
22:51I could do anything.
22:55You'd fall apart without each other.
22:57No, I don't think we would.
23:00You know what she's like, your mother.
23:02I mean...
23:04It's not easy.
23:11Look at her.
23:12She wants out.
23:14Come on, me, Ray.
23:16There we go.
23:17You're all right.
23:20Marie's been on the phone.
23:21Having a go.
23:23One thing I'll give your sister.
23:24She says what she thinks.
23:26Yeah.
23:27And she says it all again.
23:32You've not done this before, have you?
23:35You'll be able to stay there all night.
23:37Little fellow.
23:39She leaves her baby with you.
23:43She's a friend.
23:44She must be a very good friend.
23:47She's not that sort of friend.
23:49Stuart, I didn't think that for a second.
23:57Your mother and me, it's no wonder we ended up like this.
24:02It's like...
24:03we said everything there is to say.
24:07Then again, I don't think we've said anything at all.
24:17If ever...
24:19If ever there's anything that...
24:21Like what?
24:31I'm keeping you.
24:32I best be going.
24:38You be careful with him, though.
24:42If you can't get him to sleep, give your sister a ring.
24:44She'll tell you what to do.
24:47I'm late.
24:47Your mother'll be nagging me.
24:49She has this thing about me driving at night.
24:52Well, I suppose as long as she's nagging, it means she's worried about me.
24:55That's something I suppose.
25:04If you can all first thing mind, I'm in the small claims court at ten.
25:08Then...
25:14I don't know.
25:19I think I'm in the pit.
25:23I think I should know.
25:24It's a Đ´Đ¾Đ¼.
25:25I think she's not part of the road.
25:26So what is it, though?
25:27You think I was just fine?
25:30I think...
25:31What've been it, though?
25:33All right.
25:33I think she's not part of the league.
25:34Ok, let me go back.
25:34And I imagine because it's unitary...
25:34Just for a off the target.
25:36It's raining, but it's just not what I'm going to say
25:39Oh, the hell is that it's not inside me
25:43It's not a deal, but you can't find me
25:47So when you met you, I was good and proud of you
25:50Didn't know I was looking for love until I found you, found you
26:10I know, it's been bothering me
26:13What are we going to do?
26:15About what?
26:17For this is birthday
26:20Depends if I'm still here
26:27What is it, a family?
26:29All those people gathered around, your own little make-believe family
26:34You even had a baby just to finish it off
26:37If you think that's a family, you're fucked
26:41It's sex
26:42It's always sex with you
26:44Everything you do is sex
26:49What do you think Vince is there for?
26:53He's my friend
26:55He's just waiting
26:57He's been waiting so long, he thinks he's happy
27:00Being with you every day of his life
27:03He's as close as he's going to get
27:07Close to what?
27:09To the day you finally turn around and fuck him
27:11And don't tell me you didn't know that
27:16Look, I could go
27:18I could just walk away
27:20I don't think he'd even notice
27:23But he's worth the chance
27:26He deserves the chance, doesn't he?
27:30So what am I supposed to do?
27:31Leave him alone
27:33If you are any sort of a friend
27:36Because there's no such thing as Vince
27:38He doesn't exist on his own
27:39You don't let him
27:46And I like him
27:49So maybe I'm stupid
27:52But I really like him
27:54So maybe I'll let him do it
27:56So maybe I'll let him do it
27:57So maybe I'll let him do it
27:59So maybe I'll let him do it
27:59So maybe I'll let him do it
28:00So maybe I'll let him do it
28:00So maybe I'll let him do it
28:00So maybe I'll let him do it
28:02So maybe I'll let him do it
28:02So maybe I'll let him do it
28:03So maybe I'll let him do it
28:04So maybe I'll let him do it
28:04So maybe I'll let him do it
28:05So maybe I'll let him do it
28:05So maybe I'll let him do it
28:06So maybe I'll let him do it
28:07So maybe I'll let him do it
28:10So maybe I'll let him do it
28:11So maybe I'll let him do it
28:12So maybe I'll let him do it
28:13You