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00:04I hear that. I really do. It's just really not a good day to me because it's Eid, so I've
00:08got to stick with family.
00:09Okay. Well, you could have stuck with the family yesterday, but now you've got to deal with the shit Mom
00:12you created.
00:13Is it really that bad? A lot of people seem to like the whole action man routine. I reckon it
00:17will help them visualize me as Bond.
00:18Okay. Well, there is a lot of chatter. Some people think you're a tough guy, other people think you're insane.
00:22This could cost you the role.
00:24Oh, fuck.
00:27Shajju, have you ever been shopping outside?
00:29Mommy, have you met Felicia?
00:30This is the team.
00:31Oh, this is your agent.
00:36Remember I said to wait in the car and I'm going to get the sweetest thing.
00:40Felicia.
00:41Zafzulpika.
00:42Karan.
00:42The thing was, you just babysitting bars.
00:44Now when the auntie's waiting for you.
00:45You're a disgrace.
00:46Felicia, you're going to get him the job.
00:48Yes.
00:49If he kills me.
00:51My Shajju is just perfect for the job. I'll tell you why.
00:53When he was a little boy, he used to say,
00:54Mama, I want a license to kill.
00:57Remember Shajju?
00:58How specific?
00:59I don't remember that.
01:01Oh, look, he's got the retaliation.
01:02Just be a minute, okay?
01:03Bye-bye, Felicia.
01:04Bye, I was just kidding.
01:05You're not the only Asian woman, you're a black lady.
01:11Sorry.
01:12You are a black lady.
01:13I know.
01:17What the fuck is this?
01:18It's your mate.
01:24Oh, you know what?
01:25I can't get into this right now.
01:26Okay, listen, none of this, none of this matters, okay?
01:29No one reads the fucking news.
01:31However, this is a big problem.
01:34The person you assaulted, he broke his arm,
01:35and now he wants an apology.
01:37Sid said he was going for the giant Buddha's head,
01:39but now he's coming for you with 200,000 followers
01:41and counting young and brown your core fan base.
01:44Assaulted?
01:45This man ran at me with a metal object, Felicia.
01:47It was a can of spray paint, Shajju.
01:49Yeah, in hindsight.
01:50I mean, the worst he could have done was tag you.
01:52Okay, fine, just give him his apology.
01:53Okay, good.
01:54All right, so how are you going to do?
01:55Oh, no, you have to apologize.
01:57Want a video by end of day or he's pressing charges.
02:00Listen, it's Eid, so I've got to stick with the family.
02:02My mum usually hosts, but I fucked that up this time.
02:04That's on me.
02:05I can't be dealing with this.
02:06I have to be with the fan today.
02:07I have to make it right.
02:08This is about your career, Shah.
02:09Your credibility in your community
02:11for the people that you say you're doing all of this for.
02:17Has he got more followers than me?
02:18Shah!
02:20Shah Latif here.
02:21Eid Mubarak to everyone celebrating.
02:23I want to address the incident at the King's Museum last night.
02:26You might have heard about it or seen it.
02:28Well, I lived it.
02:30And I want you to know that in that moment,
02:31I wasn't thinking at all.
02:33I was acting out of sheer instinct.
02:36Community is the most important thing in the world to me.
02:39And I would never take it for granted.
02:42And there's nothing more painful to me
02:43than to know that I might have hurt a member of my own community.
02:46And to know that I might have betrayed your trust in some way
02:49hurts me deeply.
02:51You good, yeah?
02:52Yeah, I'm good.
02:55So, you've come to visit us lowly villagers.
02:59Oxford educated.
03:00But no sense.
03:01Why did you attack that young man?
03:03Don't listen to him.
03:04Come.
03:04Let's take a selfie.
03:06And I want you to know
03:07that I'm going to do everything in my power
03:09to make up for it
03:10and to make it right.
03:11Right?
03:13You should have won black.
03:15It would go better with the animal witch's gold palace.
03:19It is my day.
03:20It belongs to all Muslims.
03:22But me...
03:22It's mine.
03:23And she took it.
03:24You know one thing she doesn't have?
03:26What?
03:28Her son.
03:29Salim.
03:30You golden boy.
03:31I stood by a big shot.
03:33Always trying to compete with you.
03:35Bad shot.
03:35Probably getting a Russian prostitute pregnant
03:37this second.
03:38Don't talk filthy.
03:41All with that.
03:43She doesn't have her main attraction.
03:45You and me can be the stars of the show.
03:47We just...
03:48Come on.
03:49You worried about what Norti Naila thinks?
03:51Nungi Naila.
03:52Nungi Naila.
03:53Oh.
03:54Nungi Naila.
03:55She always shows skin
03:56because she's got no style.
03:58Look, where is she?
03:59She's probably too busy
04:00checking herself out.
04:00In a mirror,
04:01I have to come host
04:01our own party.
04:14Samina.
04:16Hey, Mubarak.
04:16Hey, Mubarak.
04:18So happy you could come.
04:20We've decided to co-host this year.
04:22His brother,
04:23you've been doing this amazing, Tahira.
04:24No, Naila.
04:25How do you get to know Naila?
04:26How do you get to know Naila?
04:26I don't know.
04:28I don't know.
04:28I don't know.
04:29I don't know.
04:32The Quran says charity is a blessing.
04:34Garden make.
04:35Please, come here.
04:37Eid Mubarak.
04:38Eid Mubarak.
04:40What the fuck?
04:41Don't leave my sight.
04:42Okay.
04:42Don't leave my sight.
04:44Eid Mubarak.
04:46Thanks for coming.
04:47Hello, ladies.
04:48Eid Mubarak.
04:49Eid Mubarak.
04:50Eid Mubarak.
04:50Oh.
04:51Eid Mubarak.
04:52Seen, no?
04:54In the saint's seat.
04:55Oh.
04:55Now he has passed.
04:56You're the eldest.
04:57No, thank you.
04:58I'm fine standing.
04:59Baba.
05:00Go your favor.
05:01Don't tell me, yeah?
05:02Is that how you're going to kill us, Bond?
05:04By raising the blood sugar?
05:06Yeah, I'll mention that to the writers.
05:08May I let him go.
05:11Maybe.
05:12Yeah, maybe.
05:12Why don't you do a Pakistani film?
05:13Something with Mehra Khan in it.
05:15No, no.
05:15You're doing a good job.
05:21I don't know.
05:22Wait, I'm going to spot right now.
05:30Sure, good first try, good first try.
05:33But I'm going to need you to do another apology video.
05:36First, you forgot to say the words, I'm sorry.
05:38Which is kind of key to the whole thing.
05:39He's buff, no?
05:40Keith says he's gone mental.
05:42Yeah, it's fucking hard.
05:43All right, sorry, can you mum focus, please?
05:45This is the latest.
05:47Well, this guy likes you.
05:52Also, the whole Aladdin outfit and the Bollywood sweet shop,
05:55it's their community like 10 times.
05:57It feels like you're begging it.
05:59Maybe down the brow.
06:00I don't get it.
06:01What is the problem?
06:01I don't like you.
06:02Stop, man.
06:03I'm 22, mate.
06:04What were you trying to get wiped out?
06:06Get it to me sooner rather than later.
06:08This is not going away.
06:10Hi, everyone.
06:11Shah Latif here.
06:12Now, last night at the King's Museum,
06:14a brother and I came into conflict.
06:16Now, I should not have reacted the way that I did.
06:19And the brother in question, perhaps,
06:21should not have run at me with a metal object
06:23the way that he did.
06:25Ruba is a community-led.
06:27It's not a fucking community-led.
06:29The fact is, we're all in this together.
06:30And in the future, I promise to use my platform
06:33not to lash out, but to reach out.
06:36Bro.
06:37Ruba is full.
06:39You want some chai or something?
06:41No.
06:42Ruba.
06:43Bro, we good?
06:44I'm good.
06:45Are you good?
06:45Yeah, I'm good, bro.
06:46We good?
06:46I'm good.
06:47Are you good?
06:47Yeah, I'm good.
06:48I'm good then.
06:49Ruba, not Ruba.
06:50What are you doing?
06:51Trying to focus, man.
06:52You are distracting me.
06:53All right.
06:53Yes.
06:54Yo, they got them little laddus over there
06:56with the pink and green balls on it.
06:57You want them?
06:57Big man, please.
06:58I don't want laddus right now, okay?
07:00I just want to concentrate.
07:01Are you supposed to go holding Ammi's hand?
07:03Oh, yeah.
07:04Shit.
07:04In a bit, yeah?
07:05Don't bring me no laddus.
07:07We'll go for that.
07:09Leave the baby.
07:14It's only gone.
07:15It's only gone.
07:15Can you look?
07:16Where have you been?
07:17I've just been checking on Baba and Zofi.
07:19Bastard, you promised you're not going to leave me.
07:21So if I just die standing here alone...
07:23Please.
07:23Please don't do this now.
07:25You left me.
07:25I'm sorry.
07:26I'm going to get off.
07:27Salim!
07:28My Salim is coming!
07:34Salim!
07:35My son!
07:38Salim!
07:44Salim!
07:59Salim!
08:02Salim!
08:19Salim!
08:21Salim!
08:30Salim!
08:34Our KPI is the most interesting thing about this, okay?
08:37It's the retention of the customer base after that discount period, you know?
08:40It's off the charts.
08:41People want more community-driven rideshare.
08:43Yes, Salim.
08:44Yes.
08:44What are you saying, bro?
08:45Yes.
08:45Look at this guy.
08:46You good?
08:47Yeah.
08:48Come join us, man.
08:48Join us.
08:49I was doing that anyway.
08:50Yeah, I got you some letters, bro.
08:52That's why I never got your number.
08:53How you been?
08:54I've been good, bro.
08:55Yeah?
08:55You've been breaking shit.
08:57What do you mean by that?
08:59Glass-Sealands.
09:01Try it, man.
09:01I'm trying, you know?
09:02And I got his arm.
09:04It's just a fracture.
09:05Hey, just to bring this back to what we were talking about before you got here.
09:08Yeah.
09:08You know, our number of drivers are growing.
09:10By the day, we'll be in all key five bars by June, so.
09:13Muba!
09:13Sick idea, innit?
09:14I've been there from day one, I remember.
09:16Bro, I'm so proud of this guy.
09:17Gus Smith, so proud.
09:18And you know what's amazing?
09:18He's always been an entrepreneur.
09:19If anything, he just went from selling grams to Instagram.
09:26Just out of interest, what's your credit situation with the criminal record and everything?
09:30No problems whatsoever.
09:32No issues.
09:32And just for clarity, I didn't go inside for selling mall.
09:36It's not just five-bit of island disorder.
09:37It was.
09:38It was self-defense.
09:39It was only before, in a way.
09:40He's a ride or die, and he was there for me.
09:41Any credit issues, though?
09:42No credit issues, because I'm going all in with everything that I've got.
09:45Right?
09:46So if you need any credit, if you need financing, just talk to me.
09:49Sorry, I was under the impression we were coming and seeing Drown rather than series A.
09:53See this conversation here?
09:54This is, in fact, the closest he's been to the business.
09:58Right?
09:59In fact, it's too close.
10:00Okay, give me back my dildos, then.
10:04Even for me personally, the most important quality about Muba is, in fact, the quality
10:09of the relationships.
10:11We're not just there for them when we want, because that's bullshit.
10:14That's fake.
10:16Get the fuck off me, bro.
10:17I don't know.
10:20And anyway, I've always had a passion for customer services.
10:23That's my thing.
10:23That's one thing I picked up in Dubai.
10:25That's what we do best, hospitality.
10:26That's our culture.
10:27One might say it, but the Muslim way of doing business.
10:30I love the idea.
10:31I'm going to present it to the guys, see what they say.
10:33Well, you're taking this, you're trying to get investment from Dubai.
10:38Yeah?
10:39Okay.
10:39Yeah.
10:40You been?
10:41No, I'm just saying, you know, Dubai works for people with the, you know, who're like,
10:45with the, well, I mean, what the fuck's this guy going to do in Dubai, man?
10:48He ain't going to let you in, bro.
10:49You don't want to go there, man.
10:50I'm all in, yeah?
10:51Remember that?
10:54He was disrespectful.
10:56He referred to your quiff like that.
10:57There was no need.
10:58It was good.
10:59Shah, got your second apology.
11:01Yeah, that's not going to work.
11:02First of all, what was up with that background?
11:05If you post that, you'll have to issue a second apology for being a rich asshole.
11:08Also, you forgot to say sorry again.
11:11What the?
11:11First class in the same gear, Naila.
11:16Next year, you'll eat this back at yours, no?
11:17No, absolutely, yes.
11:19Very kind of you to step in this year, Naila.
11:21Naila, don't worry about it.
11:24Everything is okay, right?
11:25Do you?
11:27Why?
11:28No, nothing.
11:30Just because I was watching Chanju today, and I thought, I worry for him, for all of you.
11:37It's so much pressure.
11:38That's very kind of you to worry.
11:40Naila, I see a bit of your sister and him.
11:49Does Chachana have someone you can talk to?
11:52He has me.
11:53Rukhaya had you too.
11:55But she needed more help, no?
11:57But she doesn't know anything.
11:59Naila, please.
12:01It's all good.
12:02My son is going to be the next James Bond.
12:05We all couldn't be more proud.
12:10It's okay to talk about these struggles now.
12:12Really?
12:16It's all good.
12:18First class.
12:19It's all good.
13:08Shah, we need that apology.
13:11We're running out of time.
13:12I've literally written it out for you.
13:14Just find a quiet, neutral room.
13:16Record it and send it back now before it's too fucking late.
13:18Okay?
13:23For fuck's sake.
13:40Am I interacting with you?
13:42Yeah.
13:44A conversation.
13:46Can you fucking close the door, please?
13:50Is this like you two...
13:51We need texting.
13:51I like her.
13:52Texting.
13:53Wow.
13:54So how long has this been going on?
13:55Six months.
13:56Three months?
13:57Okay, so this is nothing.
13:59Can we please not do this in front of Shah?
14:00I'm sure.
14:00Why don't you come here?
14:02Can we not do this in front of Shah?
14:03I came here for you.
14:04But I never asked you to, did I?
14:06But I asked me to.
14:06I never...
14:07Calm down.
14:08I never fucking asked you to.
14:09And this, this whole thing you're doing here, this is what I'm talking about.
14:11This is the whole problem.
14:11So just to clarify, you didn't come in to see Zulfield in for the thing?
14:13No.
14:14Oh, yes.
14:15Does he know, by the way?
14:15Oh, for fuck's sake.
14:17Well, yeah, he's going to find out now, isn't he?
14:18I'm not going to say anything.
14:19I've got your back.
14:19I've got your back.
14:21Look, we don't have to tell anyone.
14:23Let's just be real about what this is, because this is something, right?
14:26Me and you both know it.
14:27What does that even mean, bro?
14:29You live a million miles away, okay?
14:31You have a whole life.
14:33You have fucking house keys, car keys, so many keys, okay?
14:37I have one key.
14:37I can give you keys.
14:38I don't want your keys, okay?
14:40I want mine.
14:40Yo, can I just step in here for a minute and offer maybe a different perspective from
14:43my own more mature experience, yeah?
14:45I want an honest answer from both of you, okay?
14:48All right?
14:49All right.
14:49Now, let's say, let's say you've been texting.
14:52There's some emotional ambiguity about where you both stand.
14:56All right?
14:56Yeah?
14:57You can relate, right?
14:58You send a message, a heartfelt one.
15:00Instead of it going green, it goes gray.
15:04What does that mean to you?
15:05It means you're blocked.
15:08Fuck off, really?
15:09Yeah.
15:10Let me just show you this.
15:11Okay, I'm going to ask you to leave now.
15:12Can I show you this quickly?
15:13No, no, no.
15:13Oi.
15:14Don't say anything to anyone.
15:16I'm chill.
15:18Selim, yeah?
15:22He's not fucking chill.
15:29With Saigon, who will lead the prayer?
15:31Pasha?
15:32Okay.
15:33Well, he recites beautifully, but I think I should lead.
15:36How will you?
15:37Seated?
15:38Seated?
15:38I won't be seated.
15:39But where's by?
15:39Think about it.
15:40Let someone else lead.
15:41Listen, you ass-wipes.
15:43I can run circles around you idiots.
15:45I will lead.
15:45You ass-wipes.
15:47You ass-wipes.
15:52By so desperately pursuing the role of Bond, an icon of the white establishment,
15:56Shah Latifah is exchanging his political art for vanilla distraction.
15:59And so he joins a long line of brown men who think that by becoming our oppressor,
16:04he's somehow liberating all of us.
16:05And he puts a filter on his IMDb pic to look more white.
16:07May Allah be upon me.
16:09Through the whole world, Allah be upon me,
16:18the world is deathly.
16:18You ass-wipes.
16:18Come on.
16:18Who is there?
16:19Allah be upon him.
16:21Allah be upon Allah be upon Allah.
16:23Who is out of you, Allah be upon Allah.
16:24Allah be upon Allah.
16:25Allahu Akbar.
16:29hey charlatif here i was involved in an incident last night at the king's museum that was both
16:34unfortunate and avoidable and i'm deeply sorry you fucking thing
16:44charlatif here last night at the king's museum i
16:48fucked up a guy running at me with a metal object and apparently i'm the one who has to apologize
16:56hi charlatif here literally nothing to apologize for trying to save my career
17:00and my life so fuck you and your little tiktok you little
17:07sami allah ulima muhammida
17:31hello
17:35yeah is this sid oh yeah hi hi this is charlatif is it actually yeah it is actually but i
17:43just
17:44want to say i am so so sorry for what happened yesterday no excuses i was banging out of order
17:54i just don't know what came over me i really hope you can find it in in your heart to
18:00please forgive me
18:01i appreciate this man i really do i was gonna call my lawyers um but then the fact you called
18:08man
18:08oh bro he's been he's been eating me up the whole day
18:11i can't tell you how much this means man legit
18:15well do you mind just sending me what you just said
18:18like in a recording sorry i need the engagement bro right i mean i i guess so
18:27nice man appreciate it all right oh and thanks for the follow mate just remember
18:31keep the vid under 90 for the algorithm
18:35i will do
18:57why was he praying on a chair already
19:02you okay huh why didn't you sit him down well now you want to be involved what the fuck's
19:07i supposed to be i'm doing something for yourself don't come at me you always fucking want to be
19:10the hero and you're never
19:11all right
19:11uh-huh baba here you get is anyone getting any water i'm glad you want to get a blanket or
19:17something
19:21are you good bro well are you good are you dumb he's a fucking diabetic and you're giving him
19:28boxes of sweets shabbat better all right all right so i just fuck off again yeah you're better when
19:31i'm not around that's what you're saying no no he's not my dad he's your dad
19:35you know you think you're a fucking bad man oh fucking yeah my people is my how the fuck you're
19:40gonna help your people if you're too busy sucking white people's dicks
19:44it's okay with me he's just crying about last night bro what you came in to take care of me
19:47you came
19:47for a free fucking meal bro i saw you giving out your little business cards that's some sweet
19:50little minicap driver
19:51hey shut up allow it allow it bro you can leech man you've been leeching off me my whole life
19:54why are you now you're trying to leech off this dickhead bro he doesn't care about your shitty
19:57ideas he's trying to chirp your little sister what only judging i love her all right what the
20:02fuck man are you fucking are you mad listen don't listen to him he's lost the fucking
20:06right he's been chatting to a pig's head in the freezer what what freezer in the garage and
20:09he's been talking to you talking to a pig's head what if i have what if i have what if
20:12i have
20:12better listener than any of you lot well that's what happens when you're related to you guys
20:15i'm not the first family member to lose my mind
20:17why are you why are you saying that to me no no no i'm asking why is he saying that
20:25to me
20:25what did i do what i do i'm trying to fucking make a difference i'm not just sat there
20:28fucking complaining about everything well you lot will judge me huh why are you fucking touching
20:32me don't touch me i'm trying to change the world all right so everyone doesn't look at you
20:36i don't think it's some fucking worthless thinking
20:38get the fuck out of here boy i don't have a problem am i she blames you for what happened
20:44to your mom bro shut up
20:58you
21:00my mom
21:01my mom
21:03my mom
21:06my mom
21:11my mom
21:17It's the happy life.
21:21Amazing.
21:23One mixed brew.
21:24Wow.
21:26One briyani.
21:29Torpedol.
21:30Great.
21:31And some gnom.
21:32Ah, thank you.
21:33Enjoy your meal.
21:33Let us know if you would like anything else.
21:35Can I have some more water?
21:36Yeah, sure.
21:47Oh my god, Yasmin.
21:50What the fuck?
21:52What are you doing here?
21:54What are you doing here?
21:56Oh yeah, you come here every year on Eve, don't you?
21:59I totally forgot.
22:00You forgot?
22:02Yeah, I'm just here picking up some food.
22:05Right.
22:05What a coincidence.
22:07Actually, do you mind if I...
22:12What's happening?
22:14I told you you still have picked up some food.
22:15On the other side of London, at 9.30.
22:18Want to eat?
22:19Yeah.
22:20Don't eat that.
22:22Why not?
22:22You won't like it.
22:24I think I know what I like.
22:25It's chicken, not lamb.
22:27Why would you get the chicken?
22:29Trying new things.
22:30Is that okay?
22:31Yeah.
22:31Bit weird because the lamb's a signature.
22:33Okay, so you're here because of the article.
22:34Can we stop pretending?
22:37I'm sorry, what article?
22:38Are you being serious right now?
22:41I'm sorry if I missed your...
22:42What is it, an article?
22:43That sounds fun.
22:44Tell me about it.
22:44You're doubling down on this.
22:46Great.
22:47Dude, you know how it's like.
22:48I got busy.
22:49You're busy.
22:50Well, I'm sure you're not fixated on everything that I'm doing, right?
22:52This is a strong take.
22:53I've got to hand it to you.
22:54I don't know what you mean.
22:55It sounds like you think I'm like killing myself to be something that I'm not.
22:58And you memorised it.
23:00That's sad.
23:01Who's that?
23:01Oh, you sad?
23:02I'm not sad.
23:03I've been having a great time.
23:04I've been swapping out political art for vanilla distraction.
23:06Can you stop quoting my article, please?
23:09Which is inherently a fun thing to do.
23:09Which is inherently a fun thing to do.
23:09And it's not even about you, actually.
23:10Oh, it's not about me.
23:11Full disclosure.
23:12Charlotte Eve and I know one another and have spent time together socially?
23:16Is that how you're going to describe our relationship?
23:19That's how you describe our relationship, right?
23:20And you calm down.
23:21These people are not your audience.
23:22You're ruining their dinner.
23:23And mine.
23:24This is revenge porn, man.
23:25This is revenge porn dressed up as an identity politics and pop culture pink piece.
23:29Is it revenge porn if you're fucking yourself over?
23:31Yeah.
23:32Actually, it is.
23:32That's a subgenre of revenge porn.
23:34Yeah, it is.
23:35It doesn't matter what kind of porn it is.
23:36Delete that now.
23:38Delete that or I'll break your fucking nose with it.
23:40Yeah, it's good.
23:40And the deleted pics folder.
23:41What do you think?
23:42I'm fucking thick.
23:43Isn't that what you want?
23:45And that's not a private language here, you idiot.
23:48Dude, can you just delete it?
23:49If someone had a selfie, you can talk to me.
23:50I'm very approachable.
23:51Yeah, thank you.
23:52Dude, enjoy your milkshake.
23:53Yes, she'll do.
23:54What are you doing?
23:55Are you kidding me?
23:56Enjoy your little fan.
23:56Come on, man.
23:57Let's take it.
23:58Have you paid?
23:58Is she paid?
23:59Yes, I paid.
23:59And I'm a dramatic one.
24:01Okay, look.
24:01Time out, please.
24:02I just want to talk.
24:02Excuse me.
24:03After all this time, I'm sorry about that.
24:05Can we just have a chat?
24:06It's not right, man.
24:07It's not right.
24:09Look over here.
24:10I don't want to drink something, man.
24:12Fucking hell.
24:14Did you see that?
24:14Is there a back door?
24:16Where's the back door?
24:17I can hear from me, right?
24:18Anyone?
24:19Fine, thanks.
24:20I'm pointing myself.
24:21Wait.
24:22Where are you going?
24:25Sorry.
24:28Sarah, Sarah, exit.
24:29Go away.
24:30Go away.
24:30Do not run out.
24:31Do not run out.
24:31Do not run out, please.
24:33All right.
24:35Sorry.
24:35What are you sorry?
24:36Do not run out.
24:40I'm trying to be there.
24:42I'm on my way out.
24:46Yes, me, slow down.
24:49I didn't...
24:50I didn't...
24:50Charger stop.
24:52Okay, sorry.
24:53I want to get that all wrong.
24:55I just wanted to see you.
24:56That last bit wasn't my fault.
24:58Come on, Dale.
24:59That was crazy.
25:00No, crazy.
25:02Me?
25:02Come on, you knocked three feet out just by staring at me.
25:05If you ever need a job, I could do it with security.
25:09If you think that was fine, you have some serious issues.
25:12Better than you know a book club for wine.
25:14What kind of ease is that, huh?
25:14How about your ease?
25:15What?
25:15Crossing London to stalk your ex.
25:17You need help.
25:18No, I do.
25:19And you did help me.
25:21And I'm grateful because it shows that you care.
25:22I do care, actually.
25:23What's for a beautiful lady?
25:24Do you?
25:26You know what?
25:26Yeah.
25:27Yeah, I'll buy a rose.
25:29Well, I should be danging you, right?
25:31No, please.
25:32What?
25:33How much are rose?
25:34Five pounds.
25:34Okay, that's a bit steep.
25:35I'll do 250 for that.
25:36You're embarrassing yourself.
25:37That's not the first time I've done that for you, though, is it?
25:41I don't need a rose from you.
25:42You don't need anything from anyone.
25:43No, just not from you.
25:44Actually, my life's pretty great.
25:45Okay, if it's great, lend me five pounds.
25:47And I'll buy you a rose, and we can start from scratch.
25:50Five pounds is expensive.
25:52Hmm?
25:53You know, if you knew me at all, even though I hate roses.
25:57I remember that.
25:58I just...
25:58You've got to love the gesture, huh?
26:01You love the gesture.
26:01Guys, guys, why don't you come in for the best curry on break lane?
26:0420% off for the lovely couple, eh?
26:06We're not a couple.
26:06We used to be.
26:07She met my family.
26:08Yeah, I did, actually.
26:10And you know what?
26:11He made me wear a jacket over my sleeveless dress the first time when I met his dad.
26:14Well, no, not in a thunder way.
26:15Just my dad's a bit of a, like, a little pervy uncle, mate.
26:18Listen, she was making out like I would've locked her in a cupboard if we carried on dating.
26:21Yeah?
26:22She's putting all her cultural and family issues on me just because I'm brown.
26:24That's racist, isn't it?
26:25Isn't it more racist to be killing yourself to play a white neo-colonial MI6 agent?
26:28But if I played him, he wouldn't be white, would he?
26:30Yeah, but you would be.
26:31Guys, I've got an idea.
26:32Why don't you go to my cousin's restaurant across the road?
26:34I think that's better for you.
26:35Don't you want to hear about how he brought a date to my friends and family screening?
26:38A date?
26:40That was not a date.
26:41She was a work colleague that I brought.
26:42She was shit in your mango tree flop.
26:44Guessing it wasn't enough to snog her on screen.
26:46Good for the career to be spotted out and about with her.
26:48God forbid anything come before that.
26:50Okay.
26:50Hadn't we broken up by then?
26:51Shah, that night was about me.
26:53Okay?
26:54And also, taking a break isn't the same as breaking up.
26:56Okay.
26:57Then how exactly would you define how we-
26:58Fucking can't.
26:59Fuck.
26:59What?
27:00I left my bag at the restaurant.
27:02Okay, do you-
27:03You have to go back there now?
27:04I have my passport in it and I'm leaving tomorrow.
27:06Fuck.
27:06Argentina.
27:08What?
27:08Why are you going to Argentina?
27:10Wait.
27:11Someone's taking it.
27:13Look, my airpods are moving.
27:14Fuck.
27:14Oh shit.
27:15We don't want to catch you on fuck.
27:16We need a cabinet.
27:17Wait, wait, wait.
27:18Taxi!
27:20I need to get it back.
27:21That's gone.
27:22Can you just let me help?
27:24Just trust me for once.
27:27I don't know.
27:28Come on.
27:29Come on.
27:30Come on.
27:31Come on.
27:32Come on, come on, come on, come on.
27:32Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:33Seriously?
27:34Hey mate, listen.
27:35Can you give us a lift?
27:36Yeah.
27:36Okay.
27:37Yeah?
27:37How fast is this going?
27:39Not that fast.
27:40Faster than walking though, isn't it?
27:41Well yeah, it's a bike.
27:44If you annoy me, I will ditch you.
27:46Understood?
27:46You always say that, but you're still here.
27:47Yeah, well, I'm leaving the country tomorrow, aren't I?
27:49Hey, this is an emergency.
27:51Can you follow the stop?
27:53Yeah.
27:54Alright auntie, I got you.
27:55You're definitely going to get a tip.
27:56Alright, listen.
27:57It's going to be fine.
27:59What's your name, Jintino?
28:00Funding came through for my doc.
28:02The shit break one?
28:02Mm-hmm.
28:03Cool.
28:04Come on.
28:06Proud of you, man.
28:08I don't mean that a patronizing.
28:09Well, it was a little bit patronizing.
28:10No, seriously.
28:11I wish there were more documentaries about shit breaks.
28:13I wish there were more movies.
28:14That was one that was close.
28:14You know?
28:15I don't know nothing.
28:19I wish I could just stay.
28:21I wish I could just stay.
28:21I wish I could just stay.
28:22I'll bring to your brother.
28:23Your dad is more her for Fondo.
28:27I appreciate you saying that.
28:29He would've killed to have me in your family.
28:32I would have had to kill him. I'd have to keep pulling him to one side like that. What the
28:35fuck you doing? Chill out, mate
28:40How is he?
28:42He's not good. No, it's not
28:46Yeah, he's not good
28:53I think my whole family hates me. They probably do
29:02I can make a film
29:03I can make a film
29:06That's not
29:06Shut up
29:07I can make a film
29:11That's crazy
29:13Of all the tunes
29:14That's wild
29:14I can make it turn out
29:22Better turn out for your auntie
29:23I'm getting auntie when I'm a rabies
29:26I can make it all clearer
29:31Don't pretend
29:31That you're feeling
29:34Fly so hard
29:35That you can't conceal it
29:37Whatever you feel inside
29:40I can make a film
29:41Is it here?
29:42Somewhere right now
29:43Maybe it's in the diner over there
29:44In there?
29:45No
29:48Thanks
29:49Yeah
29:5010% off your next ride
29:51Leaving tomorrow
29:52Well, when you go back then?
29:53Not coming back
29:53What do you mean I'm coming back?
29:55Doesn't matter
29:56What do you mean by that?
29:58What do you mean by that?
29:58Got money? Charlie?
29:59No man
30:00Nice one
30:03What do you mean you're not coming back?
30:04No
30:06It's here
30:08Okay
30:09Okay?
30:11Yeah
30:11I think
30:12Is that down there on the left?
30:13Hurry up
30:14It takes weeks to get a new passport
30:15Don't worry
30:16We're gonna get it
30:16Wait, I think it is
30:19It's this one here
30:25Hi
30:26Hi
30:27Hi
30:27Welcome to the glow up
30:2825 head
30:30Oh
30:30Oh I'd like to pay
30:31Yes
30:31But I don't know my wallet or phone
30:33So
30:35How's this become an expensive date for me?
30:40Okay
30:41And here are your putty bags
30:44Down the corridor on the right
30:45Thank you
30:46Okay
30:46Okay
30:47So what are we going for for exactly?
30:49Uh, it's a bum bag
30:50Okay
30:50What kind of bum bag?
30:52Just a bag
30:52Right
30:53Neon
30:54Pink and yellow
30:55Wait, is this the one that I got you?
30:57Yeah
30:57Aww
30:59Alright, relax
31:00What?
31:00No, it shouldn't be too hard to find, right?
31:02Yeah, it's convenient
31:02It's a useful size bag
31:03Okay, okay
31:07Aww
31:12Might be a bit tricky
31:14Oh shit
31:16I'm never gonna find my bag in here
31:18Whoa
31:18Aren't you forgetting something?
31:21Say what?
31:22Check your goodie bag, mate
31:23Can't let you on the dance floor like that
31:26Oh, with the f***ing pain
31:28Alright, um
31:30F*** it
31:32Um, I'm not really
31:33I'm shit at this kind of
31:34Sit down, I'll do
31:38Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
31:39Be nice
31:41Be nice
31:41Why am I not nice?
31:45As much as you want to, um
31:46Humiliate me
31:48A member whose passport
31:50Will your support face
31:50Don't rush the artist
31:51Please
31:54Sorry
31:57Or look into her soul
32:02Where'd you get rid of the nose ring?
32:05Um, I don't know
32:06You look so much fitter with that nose ring, man
32:09What?
32:09F*** you
32:09What? I'm just saying, it took the attention away from that cold dead look in your eyes
32:13Probably around the same time as you, um, started losing half your hair
32:17You know, um, getting hair is linked to high levels of testosterone
32:19I know who you're broke, so if you need some money for a hair transplant and turkey, you just let
32:23me know
32:24Oh, fine, you know, I just take all my self-loathing and I rub it on my scalp every day
32:27But thanks for chopping me up on yourself, Logan
32:29Next time I see you
32:29Next time I see you
32:30You're gonna have shaved your head and you're gonna tell me it's for a role
32:33Or, cause I'm gonna have a really secret sad illness
32:35And you're gonna be so upset about all the time you spend together now that I'm dead
32:39Yeah?
32:39Yeah?
32:40Yeah?
32:40Death guilty?
32:41That's a straight up auntie move
32:42It is
32:43Sorry, did that trigger you?
32:44Sorry, does that turn you on?
32:46I know
32:47Yeah, thank you, Mike
32:54oh
32:55oh
33:00Oh
33:08get it up
33:09yeah
33:09let me check here
33:46You having fun?
33:49Yeah, I am actually. I'm having fun.
33:51You're about to be looking for a bag.
33:52Yeah, I'm looking as well.
33:53All right.
33:54I'm always looking. Don't worry.
33:59You're not a bad either in the end.
34:01Not the worst.
34:01You know what I mean?
34:05What are you looking at me for? I don't have it.
34:26I'm going to go to the bathroom, yeah?
34:27I don't have it.
34:56I don't have it.
34:59I've got it.
34:59It's not the first time I've ever used my mind.
35:03What?
35:04I'm driving.
35:04Go fuck out.
35:23Oh.
35:55Hey.
35:57Hey.
36:02Can I find it?
36:12I just want to say, what you're doing, you've been halfway across the world on your own.
36:17It's amazing.
36:19You're fearless.
36:20I've always admired that about you.
36:21Thanks.
36:27So, where are you going to live?
36:30The flat or something?
36:31Yeah, I found a place near the offices.
36:32Okay.
36:33Great.
36:33Yeah.
36:35Do you like a good neighborhood?
36:37I'm just saying a woman out there on her own.
36:39I can take care of myself.
36:41I know, I know, I know.
36:41The Spanish is kind of shit, so you're going to need someone to translate.
36:44What are you doing?
36:46What am I doing?
36:47I'm looking at your passports and I'm having a little bit of a race.
36:50What?
36:51You found the bag, didn't you?
36:55No.
36:57What?
36:58Yeah, you did, you psycho.
37:00What are you talking about?
37:01You just said passports with a fucking s.
37:03Where are they?
37:04Where are they?
37:05Fine, fine, fine.
37:08Oliver Windrock?
37:10Fucking Windrock, man.
37:11And I'm the one trying to be white.
37:12Now then, leave me the bag.
37:13I'll put you in the piece.
37:33Hey, why did you lie to me?
37:35I didn't fucking lie to you.
37:36You didn't tell me you got a boyfriend.
37:37Why do you think I'm here?
37:38You're the one that lied about the passports.
37:40Okay.
37:41Alright, then I'll be honest now.
37:42I'm not here for your fucking article, okay?
37:44I'm here, I'm here for you.
37:45Look, I'm here for you.
37:47Because I miss you.
37:49I miss us.
37:51Okay?
37:53I'll admit that.
37:55Now, can you admit, if it's really all done between us, it's a little bit weird that you
37:59didn't want to tell me about your boyfriend.
38:01How long?
38:02A year?
38:03That you're moving to another country tomorrow?
38:05Yeah.
38:06I mean, there's something.
38:07I've got coffee.
38:09It's a fucking big decision.
38:10Okay, so you've got coffee.
38:11Yeah, okay.
38:13But I didn't want to see him on my last night in London.
38:15Am I out here running around with you?
38:17Why is that?
38:18Hmm?
38:19But he's fucking great.
38:20He's really great and he loves me.
38:22And he's reliable and he's there for me.
38:25So, I don't know.
38:26I don't know.
38:37Do you want to know what it's like?
38:38Hmm.
38:41Doing the dirty work.
38:45Fighting everybody and being a nobody.
38:51I don't live with myself.
38:53I live with whoever they need me to be.
39:00And if I don't know who I am, it's because I feel like maybe you don't want to know.
39:07Are you acting?
39:10No.
39:11No.
39:11It's like lines.
39:13They are lines but the feeling is honest.
39:18You're insane.
39:27Please don't go.
39:33Take care.
39:35Okay.
39:36Take care.
39:43Bye.
39:44Bye.
39:59Bye.