- 3 hours ago
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00:00:02My name's Mick, Mick Hall, and I live here in Sherbondale.
00:00:10I've been working at the print shop for a long time now.
00:00:14My dad ran it before. Now Gordon and Amy are in charge.
00:00:23We get along great. This is my bestie Isaac. He's a bit of a lad.
00:00:28We dream of co-owning a car. Still living with mum at the moment.
00:00:35But you know I try to keep busy. Love my drinks.
00:00:45And yeah, I've never told anyone this, but I have an idea for a movie.
00:00:51What if there was a movie about a man and a woman who could turn into snakes?
00:00:55But only one of them is a snake at a time.
00:00:58They're never together as two humans or as two snakes.
00:01:01One of them is always a snake. And they just swap around.
00:01:06What do you reckon? Let's make that movie.
00:01:09Pin one is a snake.
00:01:15You're the snake.
00:01:20You're the snake.
00:01:37Shiny iscro nessa.
00:01:41Junior inkjet technician Mick Hall is just an ordinary bloke, but he's about to receive
00:01:46an extraordinary surprise.
00:01:49Look at this.
00:01:53Hi Mick, my name's Sam- Sam Campbell, I know exactly who you are.
00:01:58You're like my favourite director, I must have seen The Funny Wedding a hundred times.
00:02:03The Funny Wedding.
00:02:10That was a long time ago, besides, I'm more interested in your movie.
00:02:15What are you doing?
00:02:17Don't do that.
00:02:21He's on the ground, so.
00:02:23I dragged Mick back to the Make That Movie headquarters.
00:02:27My team were eager to hear his bulletproof idea.
00:02:34So, there's a man and a woman.
00:02:37Yes.
00:02:40Sorry, I've never had this many people look at me at the same time.
00:02:44You're doing great.
00:02:46They transform.
00:02:48When one of them's a human, the other one's a snake and vice versa.
00:02:51What is their relationship?
00:02:55Was it inspired by you and your mum?
00:02:59No way, man.
00:03:00I was sort of hoping that the woman could be really very sexy.
00:03:04So they are in fact lovers?
00:03:06Yes, please.
00:03:08How raunchy do you want to go?
00:03:10I'd just like to introduce you.
00:03:13Don't worry.
00:03:14We'll whip up as many X-rated sexual penetration fuck moments as we can.
00:03:18Real snakes as well, yeah?
00:03:19What?
00:03:21Mick, we have to steer clear of CGI.
00:03:23It takes you out of the story.
00:03:24We'll be using real snakes.
00:03:26Sorry, how many snakes are there going to be on set?
00:03:28We'll need a lot of options, plus we'll need backup snakes.
00:03:31Potentially we get one really long one, and then we could just cut off however many we
00:03:35need.
00:03:36I don't know if it would be allowed, but I wouldn't mind seeing a chase sequence.
00:03:40Oh, someone chasing after them.
00:03:42Maybe a detective?
00:03:44A detective would be...
00:03:47I'm speechless.
00:03:49Great!
00:03:49Mick, leave it with us.
00:03:51You're off to stay at a luxury hotel in the Jumeirah Islands.
00:03:54The next time we see you, we'll be at the premiere of your very own movie.
00:03:58How do you feel right now?
00:04:03Where are the Jumeirah Islands?
00:04:05They're in the United Arab Emirates.
00:04:14As Mick departed on his first ever flight, we got to work.
00:04:18Jess began eyeing up some special guest stars of the Forked Tongue variety.
00:04:22Okay, can we see Diablo and Zero?
00:04:25Is Bathsheba still available?
00:04:27Ugh, yeah.
00:04:29It's just so hard to choose without seeing them in action.
00:04:31Is there any way we could get, like, a sample bucket?
00:04:33We need them today.
00:04:35God.
00:04:36I haven't done a snake picture for yonks.
00:04:38Not since...
00:04:39Well.
00:04:41Big hiss.
00:04:42Big hiss?
00:04:43I didn't know you worked on that.
00:04:44Agent at the time got my name taken off it.
00:04:46All a bit hot.
00:04:48Yeah.
00:04:49Didn't an actor nearly die?
00:04:50Couple people died.
00:04:52Great soundtrack.
00:04:54It was time to transform Shervin Prince into a secret underground lair.
00:04:58Hey, um...
00:04:59Mr. Campbell?
00:05:00Are you sure you want us to be the main characters?
00:05:03Yeah, we're mostly used to printing out pamphlets for companies and events.
00:05:06Wouldn't it be better with proper actors portraying the snake switches?
00:05:10We have fallen head over heels in love with Shervindale.
00:05:14These people!
00:05:16This place!
00:05:18I mean, look at this guy.
00:05:23He's like an actual detective.
00:05:25But we haven't had any formal acting training.
00:05:28What do we do with our eyes?
00:05:29Just keep him still.
00:05:30Winnie!
00:05:31Is this wall going to be a problem?
00:05:33Oh, might be in the way.
00:05:35Sam.
00:05:36Oh, it should be fine.
00:05:45Can I get some levels?
00:05:47Sorry?
00:05:48Just want to say one of your lines.
00:05:49Um, at midnight we infiltrate the National Natural History Museum.
00:05:55Yeah, that sounded great.
00:05:56Really?
00:05:57You actually loved it?
00:05:58I'm Sebastian.
00:05:59Oh.
00:06:04Yeah, he's the intimacy coordinator.
00:06:06You've got to tell people that.
00:06:07You can't just be sideline up to them.
00:06:09Yeah, I'm really looking forward to this.
00:06:10I'm going to make you guys comfortable with each other's bodies.
00:06:13Oh, we've been married for 10 years.
00:06:15Yeah.
00:06:16I'll work very closely with the both of you.
00:06:17I've got a lot of diagrams.
00:06:20Oh.
00:06:23Why are you wearing gloves?
00:06:24Hey.
00:06:25I heard that.
00:06:27Yeah, he's a family friend.
00:06:28We get a lot of money from his parents.
00:06:30Action.
00:06:32At midnight,
00:06:35we infiltrate the Natural History Museum
00:06:38and steal that ceremonial serpent fang.
00:06:43I'm feeling pretty g'd up.
00:06:45Same.
00:06:46I'm so pumped.
00:06:48But I'm a bit worried about that ancient curse.
00:06:50Will you relax, Mama?
00:06:52That's just folklore.
00:06:54I hate folklore.
00:06:56Soon,
00:06:57we'll be extremely wealthy.
00:07:00And we will start an orphanage.
00:07:01I thought you were done with orphanages.
00:07:05Only orphanages that aren't run properly.
00:07:07Hey.
00:07:09Come here.
00:07:14Sorry, I just wanted to print my CV off.
00:07:16Who are you?
00:07:17We're in the middle of a scene here.
00:07:19Are you guys filming something?
00:07:20I am done.
00:07:22It's all right.
00:07:22Go ahead.
00:07:23Use this.
00:07:24What's it for?
00:07:25Is it Marvel?
00:07:27It's an original idea, actually.
00:07:29It's about people who transform into snakes.
00:07:31We're using practical effects.
00:07:33So if one's a snake,
00:07:34the other one is a human
00:07:35and they're trying to get back.
00:07:36They take turns.
00:07:37They swap.
00:07:37Should I come back in a bit, or...?
00:07:40Get him off my goddamn set!
00:07:41Get out, don't come back!
00:07:42Very unprofessional!
00:07:44Go!
00:07:44You should be ashamed of yourself,
00:07:45you disgusting pig.
00:07:47First position.
00:07:48Sorry about that, guys.
00:07:50Action!
00:07:51It's at midnight.
00:07:52William.
00:07:54What did I just say, dickhead?
00:07:56I'm not a dickhead.
00:07:58We need her back on Thursday, all right?
00:08:00Oh.
00:08:02Snakes.
00:08:07While we checked if the snakes were poisonous,
00:08:10Lucky Mick was relaxing in paradise.
00:08:16I had a massage earlier.
00:08:21Hello.
00:08:22Hi.
00:08:24I can't wait to see what they're cooking up back home.
00:08:33What are we doing with, um,
00:08:35muesli bar wrappers?
00:08:36I'll just...
00:08:37take it.
00:08:38This bloke, the detective.
00:08:40He looks sensational.
00:08:42I know, right?
00:08:43Yeah.
00:08:43He oozes with gravitas.
00:08:45I walk in.
00:08:47I see there's nothing on the plinth
00:08:49and say,
00:08:50please, God,
00:08:51you mustn't do this to me.
00:08:55That's it.
00:08:58I think we're ready.
00:09:00Come on, people, let's roll on this.
00:09:01Action!
00:09:14How was that?
00:09:16Yeah.
00:09:18I think we could probably do it again.
00:09:20You walk in,
00:09:22you see the plinth,
00:09:23notice the plinth,
00:09:24say your line.
00:09:26Gotcha.
00:09:30Oh, my God.
00:09:33Oh, my God.
00:09:33Oh, my God.
00:09:34Oh, my God.
00:09:35Oh, my God.
00:09:37Anything?
00:09:39I feel like you're really charging the camera there, Isaac.
00:09:41Yeah, it's not easy, is it?
00:09:43Uh,
00:09:44if I could just offer up one of my little tricks.
00:09:48Something I find helpful is to evoke a very fucked up childhood memory
00:09:54and let it just marinate into the performance.
00:09:59Okay.
00:10:00Give it a go.
00:10:04Oh.
00:10:05Oh.
00:10:08Oh.
00:10:09Oh.
00:10:11Oh.
00:10:12What's wrong with you?
00:10:14Oh.
00:10:16Oh.
00:10:21Oh.
00:10:24Oh.
00:10:26Oh.
00:10:26Oh.
00:10:27Oh.
00:10:28Oh.
00:10:28Give me this strength.
00:10:34We keep doing it.
00:10:35I could maybe try with an evil New York accent.
00:10:39That's not a bad idea.
00:10:41Hey,
00:10:42would you be upset if I told you that you're too difficult to work with
00:10:44and that as much as it breaks my heart,
00:10:46we're going to need to recast the role?
00:10:48No,
00:10:49I'd be alright.
00:10:51You're a good mate.
00:10:52You're a Trooper.
00:10:53You're a real Trooper.
00:10:54Isn't it a Trooper?
00:10:55You're Rockstar.
00:11:04We'd lost our detective, and these would be big shoes to fill.
00:11:08Every movie needs to contain at least one detective.
00:11:11We were forced to split up to find a last-minute replacement.
00:11:17We need you to start a movie!
00:11:19No, thank you.
00:11:20You've got two!
00:11:22No, I don't.
00:11:23We need to take one for the team!
00:11:24Oh, shit!
00:11:27Hey, what are your measurements?
00:11:30Have you ever fired a gun?
00:11:32Has anyone here fired a gun?
00:11:37Have you had a nice night?
00:11:39It's about to get even nicer.
00:11:41You're about to get famous.
00:11:44We're done for!
00:11:45We're done for!
00:11:48No, Amy, we can't give up.
00:11:50Maybe we should go into people's houses.
00:11:51Yeah.
00:11:57Jam or something?
00:11:59I always thought that was part of your head.
00:12:04Mmm, some sort of food.
00:12:07Okay, I have a lot of questions about that.
00:12:08But we need to focus up.
00:12:10Let's get this show on the road!
00:12:14The next morning, I was becoming a little bit frustrated.
00:12:17Ah, talk to me.
00:12:18I asked everyone at the hospital.
00:12:20There's just no luck.
00:12:22Am I having a panic attack?
00:12:24I hope not.
00:12:25It's these townsfolk.
00:12:26They're so stupid.
00:12:27They don't know the first thing about loyalty.
00:12:29This place is a hole.
00:12:31Imagine living here.
00:12:32Could you do it?
00:12:34I'd kill myself.
00:12:35No, the part.
00:12:36The detective.
00:12:37Couldn't you do it?
00:12:41You want me to do acting?
00:12:43Why?
00:12:43Why I asked that?
00:12:45Do you want me to choke you?
00:12:46What are you talking about?
00:12:47Sebastian, the sequel.
00:12:50Oh, yeah.
00:12:51Funny Wedding 2, the funny moon.
00:12:55I'm going to choke you.
00:12:58I have the right to make mistakes.
00:13:00I have the right to be myself.
00:13:01I'm going to choke you.
00:13:02I'm going to get you.
00:13:02I'm going to drown you.
00:13:05Oh, God.
00:13:11Sebastian, why?
00:13:13I knew this would happen.
00:13:15Mick's going to be devastated.
00:13:17It serves me right for trying to help someone for once in my life.
00:13:22Loco.
00:13:23¿Qué le has hecho a mi coche?
00:13:27Jodid.
00:13:30¿Quieres ser actor?
00:13:31Es que nosotros estamos haciendo una pelÃcula.
00:13:33Necesitamos a alguien para el rol de un detective.
00:13:35Vale, ¿por qué no?
00:13:36Pero no hablo inglés.
00:13:38Y quiero utilizar mi propia ropa.
00:13:40Perfecto.
00:13:41Um, yeah.
00:13:42Uh, okay.
00:13:43He's just passing through.
00:13:44Um, but he liked the sound of it.
00:13:45There are stipulations.
00:13:46He wants to wear his own clothes, and he doesn't speak any English.
00:13:49But, yeah.
00:13:49He'll do it.
00:13:50Tommy's the answer to our every prayer.
00:13:52He saved my life.
00:13:53Let's get to work.
00:13:55Help.
00:13:56Help.
00:13:57There's always one, and it's always you.
00:13:59Get it off.
00:14:01Hold on.
00:14:01What do we do again?
00:14:02Uh, leave it on until it's done.
00:14:04Then you yank it off very quickly.
00:14:06Until it's done what?
00:14:07I get it off ASAP.
00:14:08I mean, you don't want that on your chin.
00:14:10Yeah, up to you, really.
00:14:11But, um, I'd yank it off immediately.
00:14:13So, what's the overall consensus?
00:14:16We probably should just do the snakes in CGI.
00:14:19It's come a long way.
00:14:20Well, I did it.
00:14:23So, yeah.
00:14:24Good to see you.
00:14:25Thanks for coming down.
00:14:31Hey.
00:14:33Mr. Tucker.
00:14:34Mr. Tucker.
00:14:35Sorry.
00:14:36Would you mind signing this?
00:14:37I thought all this stuff had been destroyed.
00:14:39I've seen everything you've ever made.
00:14:41It's an honour to meet you.
00:14:42Oh, thank you so much.
00:14:47Is that you?
00:14:49Yeah.
00:14:53Finally, our guest of honour.
00:14:56He's here.
00:14:57Our prince had her eye.
00:14:59And he wasn't alone.
00:15:01Welcome home.
00:15:03Oh, this is Lexi.
00:15:05We met at the hotel.
00:15:06She wanted to come along as well, if that's all right.
00:15:07Hello.
00:15:09You know, this might be the toughest challenge my team has ever faced.
00:15:12Hmm?
00:15:13You came to us with nothing.
00:15:15You dared me the triumph over the impossible.
00:15:17Mick Hall, the moment has arrived.
00:15:20Are you ready to see your idea in the form of a movie?
00:15:24Yes, I think so.
00:15:26Can I get you anything?
00:15:27Would you like some popcorn?
00:15:28No, no.
00:15:29We had some lasagna in the car.
00:15:30Okay.
00:15:31Far out.
00:15:42At midnight, we infiltrate the Natural History Museum and steal that ceremonial serpent fang.
00:15:55Maybe you're right.
00:15:58It is glowing a fair bit.
00:16:03Could be cursed after all.
00:16:06Don't tell me you're getting cold feet.
00:16:08We've been planning this for ages, and we've come all this way.
00:16:11Hey.
00:16:12Same time.
00:16:20No!
00:16:24No!
00:16:25No!
00:16:27No!
00:16:27No!
00:16:28No!
00:16:28No!
00:16:28No!
00:16:28No!
00:16:28No!
00:16:29No!
00:16:29No!
00:16:43No!
00:16:43I suppose you want to throw us in prison.
00:16:45Haven't we suffered enough?
00:16:48No.
00:16:49No quiero detenerlos.
00:16:50Estoy intentando ayudarlos.
00:16:52He hablado con una cientÃfica.
00:16:53Fantástica.
00:16:56What do you mean? You've been in contact with a scientist who can help us out?
00:17:00Si
00:17:04I can't do it
00:17:05A full reversal, no way
00:17:09My machine isn't powerful enough
00:17:13¿Estás segura?
00:17:15Do you have any idea what it's been like?
00:17:18Seeing the man I fell in love with on the ground, on his belly
00:17:24There must be a way
00:17:26Could maybe get away with an operation
00:17:32So you're both half and half
00:17:35It's the best I can do, I'm afraid
00:17:38You mean snake-human hybrids?
00:17:46I'd actually be up for that
00:18:03I'd like to buy a couple of orphans, please
00:18:07Of course
00:18:11We've just got some new ones in
00:18:15Great
00:18:17Great
00:18:58It's not really my thing.
00:19:25We weren't sure you were going to make it.
00:19:27There you have it.
00:19:28Everyone thought Snake Switch was interesting and things were really popping off in the foyer.
00:19:33Cinema will never die.
00:19:36I'm buzzing.
00:19:37Everyone's saying I crushed it.
00:19:38Do you think we should sell the shop and go pro?
00:19:40I definitely want to appear in more movies, move into the music industry side of things,
00:19:44my own clothing line.
00:19:45Ultimately, I want to open a theme park that's just for men.
00:19:54It was cool, wasn't it, the detective?
00:20:01Some people just don't belong on the screen.
00:20:04Some people should exist, but without any evidence.
00:20:07Yeah, 100%.
00:20:20That's what I call another happy customer.
00:20:24But what becomes of the director after they call cut?
00:20:31Hey, the movie was a big hit.
00:20:34You did it.
00:20:35It was good, yeah.
00:20:36It was perfect.
00:20:39But it wasn't a masterpiece.
00:20:42Hey, did you see that email?
00:20:44A woman in the Midlands just had an idea.
00:20:47Yeah?
00:20:48Yeah.
00:20:48It's about the world's smallest butler.
00:20:51He's the size of a cup, but he's still great at his job.
00:21:00What kind of cup?
00:21:03Hey, you.
00:21:04Yes, you.
00:21:05Have you got an idea for a movie?
00:21:06We're always on the hunt for new submissions.
00:21:09Head on over to our website and click through to the application zone.
00:21:14Remember, we only read ideas that are in all capital letters,
00:21:17and submissions must be under 10 gigabytes.
00:21:19This is a pretty generous size limit.
00:21:21Please refrain from using the website for any other purpose.
00:21:25Please, we did not build this website for you to transfer files or store other documents.
00:21:30We're still learning how to delete unwanted files.
00:21:33This is not the cloud.
00:21:34This is a serious website.
00:21:36It's for movie ideas.
00:21:39Action.
00:21:40Welcome to Smiling Spring Care Home.
00:21:43We may not look like spring chickens, but this place is all go, go, go.
00:21:52Hello.
00:21:58And what really makes it special?
00:22:01The people.
00:22:03We've been meeting on Tuesdays.
00:22:06We organize a selection of fun snacks, and we've been whipping up our very own movie idea.
00:22:12Just imagine the look on my family's faces when they sit down to watch a movie that Gran came up
00:22:20with.
00:22:21How about a movie about a group of retirees who are sick of all these awful online scammers?
00:22:32So they go inside the computer and defeat them once and for all.
00:22:43This video was filmed on the iPad.
00:22:46We want you to help us!
00:22:50Wow.
00:22:51They are so much fun.
00:22:53I just want to squeeze them.
00:22:56You know, I actually get along better with old people.
00:22:58We just have this connection.
00:22:59They love me.
00:23:01Ooh, that'll come in handy.
00:23:02They don't seem very tech-savvy.
00:23:04I'll have to introduce them to Superbreast.
00:23:06What?
00:23:07My interactive OS.
00:23:09Hello, Sebastian.
00:23:10Are you feeling better?
00:23:12Is that your girlfriend?
00:23:13No, we're just mates.
00:23:15Completely platonic relationship.
00:23:20I think we might keep Superbreast on the down, though, if that's all right.
00:23:24Enjoy the rest of your birthday, Sebastian.
00:23:59We arrived at Smiling Spring, eager to aid the plight of these overlooked senior citizens.
00:24:05First, we met with the home's director, Mrs. Livingston.
00:24:09So this isn't a documentary about what we're feeding them, is it?
00:24:13No, it's more of a dystopian sci-fi satire.
00:24:16Great.
00:24:18It must disgust you the way our society has turned its back on our ancestors.
00:24:22They're still so vital.
00:24:24They deserve respect.
00:24:25Right, can I just warn you, they do tend to take the piss.
00:24:28So I recommend using a firm hand.
00:24:30Well, I'm not sure that'll be necessary.
00:24:32The last thing we want to do is disturb their delicate ecosystem.
00:24:35Well, I'd be careful.
00:24:36I'll be ducking in and out.
00:24:38Trying to get the money back from this Swiss company.
00:24:40Cindy, can you believe they sent us the CRX-0054?
00:24:43Well, what's that?
00:24:45Tanning bed.
00:24:46I ordered the CRX-0056.
00:24:49Euthanasia pod.
00:24:52Oh.
00:24:52I'm going to be the combat specialist, choreographing most of the battle scenes, so yeah.
00:24:57Okay, that sounds fun.
00:25:00Yeah, well, considering some of the futuristic weapons I've been devising...
00:25:03I have to take a nap.
00:25:05Again?
00:25:06I've never really thought about getting old.
00:25:09I suppose I'll learn about wine and coins and shit like that.
00:25:15Winnie, you're already old.
00:25:18Older?
00:25:19Older.
00:25:19I overheard Sam say that when we finish here, we'll probably leave you to live forever.
00:25:23Horseshit.
00:25:24There's an above-ground cemetery.
00:25:34The residents were taking their weekly aqua aerobics class.
00:25:38Little did they know, their lives were about to change.
00:25:43They didn't have a clue that I was lurking beneath them, swimming betwixt their legs.
00:25:49I don't believe you, I get an agerchizer!
00:25:56Yes!
00:26:00You know, when I go to see a film, I often close my eyes for the entire duration.
00:26:07Huh?
00:26:08The sound is everything.
00:26:12You've got a different towel than everyone else.
00:26:14I enjoy the finer things.
00:26:16I had it monogrammed.
00:26:18Y.
00:26:19Z.
00:26:21Powerful initials.
00:26:23Right up the back of the alphabet.
00:26:26Right up the back.
00:26:30Yardley.
00:26:31Pa.
00:26:33What does the Z stand for?
00:26:36Zelensky.
00:26:37No relation.
00:26:38Trust Pat to get involved with the home's wealthy Casanova.
00:26:41On day one.
00:26:42I was busy getting to know Sybil.
00:26:44What a woman.
00:26:45You know the idea was inspired by true events.
00:26:48You're joking.
00:26:49No.
00:26:50I actually was the victim of a computer scam.
00:26:54My family thought I was losing it and said I'd better come and live here.
00:26:57I had no clue.
00:26:59Thank you for sharing that.
00:27:00Oh.
00:27:02Oh, you poor thing.
00:27:05Oh, Nana, banana, please don't ever fall over onto some tiles.
00:27:09Do you want something warm?
00:27:10Maybe you want a brooch.
00:27:12I'll get you that.
00:27:13Oh, no, no.
00:27:13You're hurting.
00:27:14Okay.
00:27:14Jess.
00:27:16Maybe do a lap, yeah?
00:27:18Cool off.
00:27:20Yeah.
00:27:24No.
00:27:27So, all of our families are coming to watch the movie?
00:27:30Uh-huh.
00:27:31That's right, isn't it?
00:27:33Yeah.
00:27:35What battle experience do you have?
00:27:37I boxed at Repton Hall.
00:27:39I fought Honey Jeff Timmerman.
00:27:41I'll be teaching a much more exciting style than that.
00:27:44We'll get you up on your feet in a second.
00:27:46And you'll be wielding plasma daggers, naturally.
00:27:50Are you new?
00:27:52What room are you in?
00:27:53I don't go here.
00:27:55I'm with a film crew.
00:27:57That's Bart.
00:27:59He's been here the longest out of anyone.
00:28:01He looks majorly angry.
00:28:03We shut down his book club to focus on the movie idea.
00:28:07He didn't take it so well.
00:28:09You must be the big shot director.
00:28:12No, no, no, I'm...
00:28:14You think you're better than us?
00:28:16Watch yourself.
00:28:20I'll send you into orbit.
00:28:29Note to self.
00:28:31That was awkward.
00:28:33Sam, you are a gas.
00:28:41The storm was raging.
00:28:44Waves the size of skyscrapers crashing down.
00:28:48We nearly died.
00:28:51Sorry, roommate.
00:28:54I'm decent.
00:29:02You all right, bud?
00:29:07I'd love to see your boat sometime.
00:29:09I'll bet you would.
00:29:12What was that?
00:29:13She's got dollar signs in her eyes, mate.
00:29:16This budfella was turning out to be a real headache.
00:29:19Thankfully, the other residents were fully on board and ready to turn over.
00:29:22Empty playgrounds, churches closing down.
00:29:28What's happened to our children?
00:29:32What's happened to our town?
00:29:34How could this little grey box cause so much misery?
00:29:41You're forgetting, little grey box.
00:29:45I still have fight in me.
00:29:47And me too.
00:29:50We're coming with you.
00:29:51Me also.
00:29:53We're going inside the computer.
00:29:56We're going inside the computer.
00:29:59We're going inside the computer.
00:30:14I'm the Digital Bastard.
00:30:16Welcome to my online raceland.
00:30:20Crash the market.
00:30:21Too much news.
00:30:23Graphic content there isn't true.
00:30:25One wrong click.
00:30:26Scotland Yard.
00:30:28Hurts to type.
00:30:29Credit card.
00:30:30Take your money.
00:30:31Steal your house.
00:30:33Turn your grandson upside down.
00:30:36He doesn't look like that.
00:30:37And we won't stop until we have corrupted every firstborn in England.
00:30:45Cut!
00:30:45Okay, that was kind of incredible.
00:30:48I felt an actual shiver go down my spine.
00:30:50I'm not joking.
00:30:51Have all the invites gone out for the big premiere to all our families?
00:30:54Families, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:30:55We can sort it out.
00:30:56Jess.
00:30:57Oh, that was so good.
00:30:59The scammery looks so frightening.
00:31:01I made you some brownies.
00:31:03Do you want one?
00:31:03Perhaps later.
00:31:04Have one now.
00:31:06Harley Bird gets the worm.
00:31:08I'm just going to borrow her for a second.
00:31:14You're looking sexy.
00:31:17Oh, I want you.
00:31:19Oh, cappuccino.
00:31:23I'm just going to jump into my thermals.
00:31:25It's too cold in here.
00:31:29You dirty little monkey.
00:31:32You're playing him, aren't you?
00:31:35Oi.
00:31:35Tick off.
00:31:36You ticked off Bud.
00:31:37He's looking to set a fight with you.
00:31:42Now, is he serious?
00:31:44Tell him it's on.
00:31:45Hang on a second.
00:31:47He'll fight.
00:31:48Good on you, Pat.
00:31:49What have you done that for?
00:31:51Well, it'll be good to get Bud out the picture for everyone.
00:31:55I'm not a fighter.
00:31:57Well...
00:31:57Yo, yo, yo.
00:31:58I may be of some assistance.
00:32:01I'm going to turn you into a killing machine.
00:32:07Business card.
00:32:09You are bombing.
00:32:11I've received a slew of complaints.
00:32:13What?
00:32:14Have you been doing makeovers?
00:32:17Humphrey told me you pierced his navel when he was sleeping.
00:32:20I don't think so.
00:32:22Jess, am I going to have to let you go?
00:32:24What?
00:32:25Get it together.
00:32:27Yeah.
00:32:30The next morning, we regrouped for a warmish breakfast.
00:32:33An army marches on its stomach.
00:32:37Oh, by the way, your son RSVP'd last night.
00:32:39He and Denise are coming to the screening.
00:32:41Oh, that's wonderful news.
00:32:45Don't smooch the messenger.
00:32:47We've got a lot to squeeze in today.
00:32:49You triple morph these scamquitos to Catholicism.
00:32:51We may be able to do a bit of that, sure.
00:32:54I was hoping we could do a lot of that.
00:32:57Well, there may be a schedule clash, Sammy.
00:32:59We've got gardening today, and then backgammon at noon,
00:33:03and then we do Zumba,
00:33:05and then we sit down and listen to our radio programs.
00:33:08Oh, I'm afraid that will all have to be postponed.
00:33:11Absolutely not.
00:33:12I couldn't learn my lines last night.
00:33:16I couldn't focus.
00:33:18I was yearning for you.
00:33:22When did you last update your will?
00:33:24I'm always making pertinent adjustments.
00:33:30We must be alone together.
00:33:33If only I didn't have bitter old butt as a roommate.
00:33:38I'm working on it.
00:33:40Are you sure I'm only allowed to eat hash browns?
00:33:44The outcome of this fight depends on it.
00:33:46This shape is important.
00:33:50What's the name?
00:33:56What's the name?
00:33:57¿S�
00:33:57Hola, we.
00:33:58¿Cómo estás?
00:33:59Estoy bien.
00:34:00¿Qué necesitas?
00:34:02Eh, nada.
00:34:03Una preguntita medio rara.
00:34:05Eh, solo quisiera saber.
00:34:07Si no fuéramos familia,
00:34:09tú igual me quisieras, ¿no?
00:34:11Como que quisieras hablar conmigo y eso.
00:34:13Se está cortando la comunicación.
00:34:20No te oigo, no te oigo.
00:34:22Ah, bueno.
00:34:28I see the light.
00:34:31I've filled my cup.
00:34:34My ship has sailed.
00:34:36My time is up.
00:34:39Farewell and goodbye.
00:34:43Now go quickly
00:34:44before the grooming gang
00:34:46recharge their quantum blaster.
00:34:49Ah.
00:34:52We'll miss you, Sibyl.
00:34:54And go.
00:34:56It's not too bad.
00:34:57I feel like we're losing some of that energy.
00:34:59It was fine.
00:35:01Let's go from the top.
00:35:02Let's move on.
00:35:04Just give us a bit of a breather
00:35:05if you don't mind.
00:35:06I'm tired.
00:35:08When the phone's on 2%,
00:35:09you can still use all the apps.
00:35:11My apps went all big on me.
00:35:13Let's take 5.
00:35:15I'm worried their commitment is waning.
00:35:17That euthanasia part
00:35:19sounds pretty good to me right now.
00:35:21Jess.
00:35:22I want to die.
00:35:23No.
00:35:26Oh, I need you to win this fight.
00:35:28I've got a lot riding on it.
00:35:29I need to focus on Sebastian's
00:35:31fatal finishing move.
00:35:33Remind me what that is again.
00:35:35It's when you jump in the air
00:35:37and punch them at both fists
00:35:38and kick them at both feet
00:35:40all at the same time.
00:35:42They're pining by the Aztecs.
00:35:45Sebastian,
00:35:46you're over here.
00:35:49What up?
00:35:51Have you ever been in a fight?
00:35:52Define for me what you mean.
00:35:54Have you ever been
00:35:55in a physical fight?
00:35:57Depends on the parameters.
00:35:58Have you?
00:36:00Not technically.
00:36:0120, I'll be taking over your trainer.
00:36:03He's my protege.
00:36:05You're sacked.
00:36:06You're gonna need a change.
00:36:08Sybil, I think you're right.
00:36:09Let's move on to the Battle of Cyberloo.
00:36:10I think we're done here
00:36:12for the day, Sammy.
00:36:13We've got a lot on.
00:36:14Yeah, about that.
00:36:15Surely you've got enough footage
00:36:16from yesterday?
00:36:18Besides, when all the relatives arrive,
00:36:20they'll probably only want to watch
00:36:21a little snippet
00:36:23and then we can all catch up properly.
00:36:26You don't care, do you?
00:36:28You don't care about this movie at all.
00:36:30You just want to see your family.
00:36:32This whole time,
00:36:33you lied to me.
00:36:35Did you even get scammed?
00:36:36Of course.
00:36:38If that Jeremy Corbyn
00:36:39can't handle a couple of
00:36:40death threats,
00:36:41what's he doing
00:36:41putting his email address
00:36:42on his website?
00:36:44That's what you think
00:36:45getting scammed is?
00:36:46Try not to scrunch up
00:36:48your nose, darling.
00:36:50It makes you look like a rat.
00:36:53Honestly,
00:36:54I felt like I'd been scammed.
00:36:56Sybil's confession
00:36:57took a real toll on the team.
00:37:01We have to get as far away
00:37:02from these people as we can.
00:37:03There's a darkness there.
00:37:05Yeah, let's head off.
00:37:07Yeah, we'll give it a try.
00:37:08Old people have no honour
00:37:10whatsoever.
00:37:11Steady on.
00:37:12I've heard that we stay.
00:37:13We've still got a lot
00:37:14we could learn from them.
00:37:16Please.
00:37:17We all know what you're after.
00:37:19I have to agree with Pat here.
00:37:22Superbress, you don't get it.
00:37:23Sorry, but I did a little bit
00:37:25of research.
00:37:26All of the dominant
00:37:27civilisations throughout history
00:37:29have a deep reverence
00:37:31for their elders.
00:37:32Sam,
00:37:33I know you feel hurt,
00:37:35but you can't expect
00:37:36everyone here
00:37:37to have the same passion
00:37:39and understanding
00:37:40of the filmmaking process
00:37:42as you.
00:37:43When they see the movie,
00:37:44it will all become clear to them.
00:37:46Don't give up.
00:37:47Let them see it.
00:37:49Make them see it.
00:37:51Superbress.
00:37:52Just, I needed that.
00:37:53Sam, you must hear this a lot,
00:37:55but I'm a big fan.
00:37:57Oh yeah?
00:37:58I'd love to pick your ring.
00:37:59Let's get to work, I reckon.
00:38:00I've seen the Sainsbury Trilogy
00:38:01six times.
00:38:02I think she's got a violin in it.
00:38:04It was a very old bridge,
00:38:06a very old bridge,
00:38:06a very old bridge indeed.
00:38:08A very big oval,
00:38:10very big oval,
00:38:11very big oval scene.
00:38:13It was a very long walker,
00:38:14a very long walker.
00:38:15Turn off that crap!
00:38:17Everyone against the war!
00:38:19You heard me!
00:38:20Everyone stand against the fucking war!
00:38:23Now!
00:38:23A few of you seem to have forgotten
00:38:25who calls the shots around here.
00:38:27Now your precious families
00:38:28will be here tomorrow,
00:38:29and I want to make them proud.
00:38:31I know you have a blockbuster
00:38:33inside of you.
00:38:34I'm going to rip it out!
00:38:36Is that understood?
00:38:38Is that understood?
00:38:40No more break!
00:38:41No more Zumba!
00:38:42Did I just ask a quick question?
00:38:44You may not!
00:38:46No question!
00:38:47Show it up!
00:38:48Way up!
00:38:49Show it!
00:38:50Yeah, even!
00:38:51Do it!
00:38:52They just needed
00:38:53a bit of encouragement, really.
00:38:55Someone to believe in them.
00:38:58Besides,
00:38:59the megabyte tarantuloid
00:39:00and her digi eggs
00:39:01weren't exactly going to
00:39:02vanquish themselves.
00:39:03I don't think we've ever
00:39:05had this many visitors.
00:39:06What a treat!
00:39:07So how about
00:39:08a huge round of applause
00:39:10for our fantastic residents
00:39:13for doing this movie project?
00:39:21Enough!
00:39:22No talking!
00:39:24No coughing!
00:39:25No diabetes!
00:39:26No fidgeting!
00:39:27I'm looking at you,
00:39:28Smallie!
00:39:30Mate!
00:39:31Thank you!
00:39:32Roll the tape!
00:39:35Empty playgrounds,
00:39:36churches, clothing,
00:39:38I can leave as soon as
00:39:39the share's over.
00:39:40100%.
00:39:41Do it!
00:39:41Our children
00:39:42what happened
00:39:43to our...
00:39:45whatever
00:39:45...
00:39:46That void.
00:39:53What so
00:39:54The humour
00:39:54of your
00:39:54and official
00:40:00to the
00:40:10Chowncy
00:40:11And goodbye.
00:40:16We'll miss you, Sybil. She was who she was, and you knew where you were with her.
00:40:21Okay, so that's the interval now.
00:40:25Don't forget to go to the toilet, and we'll see you in 15 minutes.
00:40:29Oh, hold on, change of plans. We have organised half-time entertainment.
00:40:34Some of the guys are going to have a fight.
00:40:41There you have it. My last will and testament managed to squeeze you in.
00:40:47Yardley, it's a very long list of beneficiaries.
00:40:50I have a weakness for powerful women.
00:40:53What is it, every woman you've ever met?
00:40:56Oh, so I only get 40 quid?
00:41:00Why is Superbreast on here?
00:41:02I swear on my life. We're only friends.
00:41:31There, we did it. They're all dead.
00:41:35It really makes you think about what's important.
00:41:40This film is dedicated to anyone who's had a bad experience online.
00:41:46Spend some time, considering what we've done.
00:41:52We breached the online citadel.
00:41:54And took out the evil scum.
00:41:56Spend some time.
00:41:59The film was a beautiful triumph.
00:42:02But the residents of Smiling Spring had failed to instill their offspring with suitable attention spans.
00:42:07Glued to the wrong kind of screen.
00:42:10We need to make conscription mandatory.
00:42:14Even Jess seemed distracted.
00:42:16Spend some time.
00:42:19I should probably give her more credit.
00:42:21Ultimately, she was the only one who truly understood the secret message at the heart of our movie.
00:42:28Spend some time.
00:42:29Spend some time.
00:42:43Spend some time.
00:42:46Spend some time.
00:42:48Spend some time.
00:42:49Spend some time.
00:42:50Spend some time.
00:42:50Spend some time.
00:42:50I've never had a raisin just by itself.
00:42:53Just always part of a cape.
00:42:58Spend some time.ille.
00:43:20Spend
00:43:21some time. Spend
00:43:24some time.
00:43:28Okay, so our ancient history teacher, Ms. Stanthorpe, isn't like other teachers.
00:43:33She even took us on a school trip to visit the Broadcombed Bogman.
00:43:36Broadcombed Bogman is a 3,000 year old naturally mummified body found in a peat bog near our school.
00:43:41He's in a glass box, he has a ponytail and he's also put up.
00:43:45Ms. Stanthorpe is the Bogman expert. She's really into him.
00:43:49Like, you can tell she doesn't really have a life outside of school.
00:43:52She has nothing else going on.
00:43:56Oh my god, we literally cried when we found out that when she was our age, nobody wanted to take
00:44:01her to the prom.
00:44:03So she just stayed at home and read her book. So sad.
00:44:10We love you, Ms. Ayres.
00:44:12Please help us make a movie about our favourite teacher.
00:44:15All about her going to the prom with the love of her life, the Bogman.
00:44:19That would be such an amazing movie.
00:44:22Thank you, bye!
00:44:25This is what I like to see. Young people who want to make a difference.
00:44:28And I'm still talking. The last year of high school can be tough.
00:44:32Tara and Yolanda are probably dealing with stacks of homework, going to big parties,
00:44:36they're probably babysitting as well, or working at a kiosk.
00:44:40Honestly, I can imagine them making smoothies. Seriously.
00:44:42And they've gone out of their way to help this poor Stanthorpean teacher.
00:44:46You know, Ms. Stanthorpe actually has a PhD in Neolithic Wetland Studies.
00:44:49She's technically a doctor.
00:44:51Oh, get her to look at my groin.
00:44:53Who's inầnmprez tax?
00:45:15It's not at all.
00:45:26As my team brushed off the history books, they couldn't help taking a stroll down memory
00:45:30lane.
00:45:31As soon as the bell rang, my sisters and I would run all the way to the Cortesanos.
00:45:34The what?
00:45:35This gorgeous art deco cinema that my parents did up, and we all worked there, and I helped
00:45:40paint the sign.
00:45:41It's probably my happiest memory.
00:45:43I can't say I had much in the way of her childhood, personally.
00:45:47That one.
00:45:48Oh, what, because you got kidnapped?
00:45:50Uh-huh.
00:45:51I was captured by the militia when I was a baby and held hostage until my 19th birthday.
00:45:57I was mainly tied up to a chair and tortured.
00:46:00Aw, too bad.
00:46:02We did get to make a lot of ransom videos, though.
00:46:04I guess that's sort of how I got into the biz.
00:46:07Oh, the biz.
00:46:08Yeah, I hate it when people say the biz.
00:46:10I'd avoid telling people that entire story if I were you.
00:46:14It's a secret.
00:46:14Keep that secret.
00:46:15We're on very thin ice.
00:46:17We arrived at Broadcom High and gave our superstar teacher the good news.
00:46:22She was flabbergasted.
00:46:24Bye.
00:46:27I don't understand.
00:46:29I'd never talk about my personal life in front of students.
00:46:34How did they know I didn't go to the prom?
00:46:36I never told anyone that.
00:46:38They must really care about you.
00:46:40Mom, these are good girls.
00:46:44While I congratulated Miss Danthorpe's hand, Principal Edwards led Winnie and Pat on a location scout.
00:46:50This is the auditorium.
00:46:53Echo!
00:46:54I love it in here.
00:46:55Tell you what, normally I have like 500 people in here.
00:46:57Min.
00:46:58I would have loved for you guys to see one of my assemblies.
00:47:00Shh!
00:47:02Yeah.
00:47:03Yeah, I know.
00:47:04You're like the one for me.
00:47:06Oh, really?
00:47:08Eamon.
00:47:09What are you doing?
00:47:10I should give you guys attention.
00:47:11Go on, back to class.
00:47:12Off you pop.
00:47:14Honestly.
00:47:18That is really shocking, you know?
00:47:20I thought Eamon Burgess was still going with Yolanda Jansen.
00:47:23What's he doing with Tara Simmons?
00:47:25I'm really behind on the goss.
00:47:27What the fuck?
00:47:29They've got boys and girls here.
00:47:30Yeah.
00:47:31Most places are mixed now, Winnie.
00:47:34You don't say.
00:47:34Wow.
00:47:35I went to a four boys school.
00:47:37An all boys school?
00:47:38No, no, no.
00:47:39This was an experiment in extreme discipline.
00:47:42Just four boys and a hundred teachers.
00:47:46That's mental.
00:47:48I think I actually heard about that.
00:47:49Were you a boarder?
00:47:50Oh God, no.
00:47:52I was just a day boy.
00:47:54That poor night boy.
00:47:56Right, should I, sorry, the cafeteria?
00:48:00Okay.
00:48:01I'm surprised you can't see what's happened here.
00:48:03I took the class on a trip to the Broadcom Exhibition Centre
00:48:05to view the remains we've been discussing all term.
00:48:08I had to split Yolanda and Tara up.
00:48:09They were being highly disruptive.
00:48:11They might be Aspergian.
00:48:12They said I wanted to suck off the bog man.
00:48:14Oh, I doubt that.
00:48:15Look, they obviously just need some guidance.
00:48:19May I be bold?
00:48:20Fortune favours the bold.
00:48:21No offence, none taken.
00:48:22These girls need a father figure.
00:48:24Hey, everyone!
00:48:26Let's go with chocolate mouches.
00:48:27A trip to dinner, lady.
00:48:29Well, it needs to be quick.
00:48:30These can go off at any minute.
00:48:31Look, this whole project is inappropriate.
00:48:33We have a set curriculum.
00:48:35Huh.
00:48:36This says that the Broadcom Bogman was found holding a ruin
00:48:39covered in undeciphered symbols.
00:48:40I thought that they represented the breeding and menstrual cycle
00:48:43of the local deer population.
00:48:45It's a popular theory.
00:48:47I'm impressed.
00:48:49You know, above all else, this film will be totally historically accurate.
00:48:53Kismetica!
00:48:55That, of course, means greetings.
00:48:57I've been chosen to be the film's official linguist.
00:49:00And I'll be meticulously recreating an authentic bog man talking style.
00:49:05Oh.
00:49:06Did you see Garloff's latest paper on the phenoeuretic phonetic alphabet?
00:49:12I see many things.
00:49:13Oh.
00:49:15Brilliant!
00:49:16Can't wait.
00:49:16Edwards!
00:49:18Where are my girlies?
00:49:20We need to talk casting ASAP.
00:49:21Also, do you have any spare clothes?
00:49:23Someone has had an accident.
00:49:28Clumsy.
00:49:29They didn't have anything in purple.
00:49:31Just to reiterate, Sebastian's mum and dad bankroll our entire operation out of guilt.
00:49:37He's not very easy to be around, but for the moment we are stuck with him.
00:49:41I made sure all lessons were cancelled for the day as we held mandatory auditions for the heart club at
00:49:46the centre of our teen drama.
00:49:47The bog man.
00:49:50Oh, that is such a cool clip.
00:49:52You've got to send me that clip.
00:49:55Let's see Reece Trundle.
00:49:58Hi, Reece.
00:50:01You bring me back to life, but me no understand modern world.
00:50:07Remember last year when the fire alarm made him shit himself?
00:50:11Really?
00:50:11He did not.
00:50:13Well, thanks, Reece.
00:50:13I think we've seen enough.
00:50:19You must really miss your girlfriend?
00:50:21I not have girlfriend.
00:50:23Me have wife.
00:50:24Bog wife.
00:50:26I know his cousin.
00:50:27She told me he has epilepsy.
00:50:30That's disgusting.
00:50:34Thanks, Tim.
00:50:35I hear the circus is in town.
00:50:37Okay, what is this?
00:50:39Sorry, what is this?
00:50:41The insane party started.
00:50:57Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
00:51:03Joke audition, joke audition.
00:51:05Sebastian, who are these guys?
00:51:09I hesitate to ask how your bog dialect is coming along.
00:51:16So funny.
00:51:17Eamon Burgess. Strong name.
00:51:21Eamon!
00:51:29Everyone's rushing, losing their minds.
00:51:32I'm just watching, taking my time.
00:51:34Newspapers, skyscrapers, blank faces.
00:51:39Sweet baby princess, daughter of the queen.
00:51:46I got a pure, a pure connection.
00:51:54Eamon, what's up?
00:51:59Eamon totally got our juices flowing.
00:52:02Can you believe his song was an original?
00:52:05Time to throw on my captain's hat.
00:52:06I've found a dreamboat.
00:52:09You know, I was thinking about writing your name on my penis.
00:52:12Don't want to hear.
00:52:13Isn't that true?
00:52:15Yeah.
00:52:16I'm also going with it.
00:52:17Yeah.
00:52:18I didn't even know you played it.
00:52:19That was really great.
00:52:20You know, early hundreds actually relied on whistling as a form of communication.
00:52:24Is that right?
00:52:25Yeah.
00:52:27We know your secret.
00:52:34What did she say to you?
00:52:35Nothing.
00:52:36She said she likes my head.
00:52:38I feel like I'm back at school.
00:52:39They're bullies.
00:52:40Pat, they're the talent.
00:52:43Well, looks like we found our bog body.
00:52:45And what a body.
00:52:49Yolanda, how would you feel about playing his throbbing love interest, the young Gertrude
00:52:54Stanthorpe?
00:52:54Um, I was wondering if I could read for that part.
00:52:58Excuse me?
00:52:59It's my part.
00:53:00But you didn't even audition.
00:53:01Um, Tara, you're being kind of dodgy.
00:53:04Yeah, I used to be a little bit dodgy.
00:53:05Ed, hold on a second.
00:53:07Tara, I have something else for you.
00:53:09I do.
00:53:10Another part.
00:53:11Really important.
00:53:12Equal billing.
00:53:13What?
00:53:14I'd like you to play Daniella Ricchella St. Clair.
00:53:20So Daniella Ricchella St. Clair is a stock character that I always have in my back pocket whenever
00:53:25someone feels like they're being left out, or when I'm accused of not having enough strong
00:53:28female characters.
00:53:30We've used her three or four times.
00:53:31Sam.
00:53:32Sam, we're going to have to lose these.
00:53:34They're friendship necklaces.
00:53:36Are you sure?
00:53:37Sorry, did you not want usable audio?
00:53:41Guys, grow up.
00:53:43That can permanently kill someone.
00:53:46Hundreds of people die from lasers every day.
00:53:56Gertrude?
00:53:57Are you okay?
00:53:58Why are you talking to me?
00:54:01I didn't think you knew I existed.
00:54:03You live with your inbred family in that ramshackle hut next to the bog.
00:54:07This is going to sound hella random.
00:54:10But I've been having these visions.
00:54:20Why have you been texting, Eamon?
00:54:23I just said I liked this song.
00:54:24I was being nice.
00:54:25You're fucking dead, bitch.
00:54:26Oh, I'm fucking dead.
00:54:27Yeah, you are.
00:54:28Dead, bitch.
00:54:29Yeah, come for my boyfriend again.
00:54:31Break it up.
00:54:32Break it up.
00:54:34What's all this about?
00:54:35She's trying to steal my boyfriend.
00:54:37Is that true?
00:54:38He's just a guy.
00:54:41Listen.
00:54:41Listen, it's okay to be boy crazy, but I'm begging you, don't be boy delusional.
00:54:47Never talk to me ever again.
00:54:49You don't mean that, cupcake.
00:54:51She doesn't mean that.
00:54:52It's okay.
00:54:54What was that?
00:54:56Was it something I did?
00:54:57It's a minefield of young love.
00:54:59This morning, we caught Eamon and Tara having sex.
00:55:04They were just kissing.
00:55:07A steamy love triangle.
00:55:09Stolen kisses.
00:55:11Forbidden glances.
00:55:12Oh, I hate drama so much.
00:55:15Would it be worth getting the school counselor involved?
00:55:17I used to go to Shelley all of the time.
00:55:19It could be really good to talk to someone.
00:55:21Nope.
00:55:22The only one thing for it.
00:55:24The bog.
00:55:25Trust me, it has healing qualities.
00:55:28When he's right, we will need to stay overnight upon the bog.
00:55:32If it can preserve a bloke, it can salvage a friendship.
00:55:36Wow.
00:55:39Have you ever been to a bog?
00:55:41Text in.
00:55:42As night fell, we gathered around the campfire to bond and learn and share.
00:55:46But I sensed the girls were still squabbling.
00:55:48I needed the bog to work its otherworldly magic.
00:55:51Asap.
00:55:52That he wasn't related to the skeleton.
00:55:54Because he was a skeleton.
00:55:56Ah!
00:55:59Okay, it's getting pretty late.
00:56:00Yeah, should probably hit the sack.
00:56:02Big day tomorrow, everyone.
00:56:03Yo, S-Dog.
00:56:04Can we stay up a little longer?
00:56:06Oh, yeah.
00:56:07No problem.
00:56:08As long as you promise to have an unforgettable night.
00:56:13Yes!
00:56:13Yes!
00:56:15The next morning, I was eager to start shooting.
00:56:18We'd fallen a little behind schedule,
00:56:20waiting for our starlets to emerge from their slumber.
00:56:25Good morning, sleepyheads!
00:56:27Can you not?
00:56:28Don't bite my head off.
00:56:29I'm not a gingerbread man.
00:56:32I've got to show you where we're filming this first scene.
00:56:34Come on, you're going to love it.
00:56:34While I led Tara and Yolanda down to set,
00:56:37Jess applied Eamon's prosthetics.
00:56:39So would the bog man have had, like, multiple partners?
00:56:42Hmm, look, this was long before we adopted sedentary communities.
00:56:46The dimorphism amongst mobile tribes would suggest, like,
00:56:48a sheath-teen-like role
00:56:49who would have appointed dozens of concubines.
00:56:52So, yeah.
00:56:54What's that?
00:56:55I've got a question.
00:56:57So I know it was a long time ago,
00:56:59but do you think your parents have ever forgiven you?
00:57:01You know, after you destroyed their cinema.
00:57:06What was it called again?
00:57:07The Cortesanos!
00:57:10Oh, no!
00:57:11Oh, you ruined it!
00:57:15I, um, I think I need to go and get inside of my bag
00:57:18because I think I maybe dropped it in the way.
00:57:23Hey!
00:57:24You look so cute!
00:57:26I don't know how many times I've warned my team
00:57:29not to let their personal lives impact the job,
00:57:31so I was a little disappointed to see Jess
00:57:34letting her past come back to haunt her.
00:57:35And then I went to go make myself a slush puppy.
00:57:38And I used to always make myself a slush puppy.
00:57:41And then,
00:57:42and then I heard this noise,
00:57:43and it was our projectionist, Luis,
00:57:45and he had sprained his ankle
00:57:47until he was climbing down the ladder.
00:57:49So then I went up to the sign,
00:57:50and I took down the letters,
00:57:51and then I locked the door,
00:57:54and I just forgot about the machine.
00:57:58And in the morning,
00:58:00the whole place was slushed out,
00:58:05slushed up to the ceiling,
00:58:07everywhere.
00:58:08It was everywhere.
00:58:09And it was so sticky.
00:58:12People kept saying,
00:58:13it's too sticky here.
00:58:15And it was all my fault.
00:58:17That's the final straw.
00:58:19I'm cracking skulls.
00:58:20Ha!
00:58:21You will stand down.
00:58:22I'm not giving up on these girls.
00:58:24Look, they're besties again.
00:58:26How I have missed those smiles.
00:58:31And may I ask where the hell you've been?
00:58:34Well, um,
00:58:35last night Yolanda sent us out to buy some bookers.
00:58:38I guess she found out about my fake ID.
00:58:41Your real ID?
00:58:43You've been out all day.
00:58:45You told us he liked you.
00:58:46No, I didn't.
00:58:47I told you that in confidence.
00:58:49Anyway,
00:58:50we got kind of lost last night.
00:58:52And I think we found another one.
00:58:55Another?
00:58:57Bog body.
00:58:58Follow me.
00:59:07Why is he wearing headphones?
00:59:09Yeah, no,
00:59:10they didn't have headphones in Neolithic times.
00:59:13Sebastian, you dropkick.
00:59:14This guy's fallen down
00:59:16and whacked his head on that rock.
00:59:17This is a freshie.
00:59:19Nothing to see here, mate.
00:59:20Move on, move on.
00:59:23An ancient bog body is a discovery.
00:59:25This is far too modern.
00:59:26This is a problem.
00:59:28This guy is actually dead, Sebastian.
00:59:30I put my hand in his mouth.
00:59:40At least he's been practising the bog language.
00:59:44My girlies!
00:59:50Girls!
00:59:54This isn't you!
00:59:56This isn't us!
00:59:58Take a deep breath.
00:59:59Have some screen time.
01:00:00We have to shoot while we've got this soft light.
01:00:02Don't talk about your stupid movie!
01:00:04Hey, I heard that.
01:00:06We did the whole thing as a joke.
01:00:08You're a loser.
01:00:10And we know you've got a stiffy doing the beat test.
01:00:18Oh, you foolish girls.
01:00:20The last thing you want to do is get on the wrong side of our pat.
01:00:24Basically, she explained to Tara and Yolanda
01:00:26that if they didn't keep a lid on the bickering,
01:00:28she'd frame them for murder.
01:00:29She's got a real knack for planting evidence
01:00:31and stitching together audio to sound like a confession.
01:00:34She's done it before, and she'll do it again.
01:00:36With everyone on the same page,
01:00:38I could finally do what I do best.
01:00:40Weaving a prepubescent love story.
01:00:43What a house?
01:00:44Yeah.
01:00:45So how was camp?
01:00:46Any hook-ups?
01:00:46I heard Sebastian might have a little thing for Jess.
01:00:49OK, everyone.
01:00:50I know it's not a rainy day,
01:00:52but who wants to chuck on a movie?
01:00:55Yeah!
01:00:58Well, just remember,
01:00:59when it's over, we need to knuckle down
01:01:00because there is an exam on Monday.
01:01:02Oh, boo!
01:01:03Oh!
01:01:04Yeah, don't worry.
01:01:05You'll ace it after you see this.
01:01:06OK, I need two strong boys to get the TV.
01:01:09Let's go, Vincent and, um...
01:01:12Eamon, what happened to your face?
01:01:15I think my skin had a bad reaction to the prosthetics.
01:01:19Oh, dear.
01:01:21I come here whenever I feel low
01:01:23or to sit and pray for my ovarian cysts to go away
01:01:27so I don't have to do IVF.
01:01:29Daniela, Vachella, St. Clair,
01:01:31are you having one of your waking visions?
01:01:47Oh, he misses Pangea!
01:01:50Oh, he misses Pangea!
01:02:03Oh, he misses Pangea!
01:02:03So, Bugman, how old are you?
01:02:06Huh?
01:02:12That's my prom dress.
01:02:14Dad says he's too revealing.
01:02:17Prom?
01:02:18You've never heard of prom!
01:02:23Girls, girls, girls.
01:02:25Now I've been pretty lenient already
01:02:26and the PTA are right up my arse.
01:02:29Now I already let you do Battle of the Bands.
01:02:31But prom?
01:02:32How old is this guy?
01:02:39That's a hard man to hoosh!
01:02:41That's a four-coloured pen.
01:02:43Now if...
01:02:44That's a big if, mister.
01:02:47If I let you go to the prom.
01:02:49The question is...
01:02:50Who are you going to take?
01:03:06Daniela, Vachella, St. Clair.
01:03:15Excellent choice.
01:03:16I'll just put that into the system.
01:03:32Do you believe in the concept of...
01:03:35soulmates?
01:03:43There they are.
01:03:45Hey, Bugman.
01:03:46I did some research.
01:03:48Gertrude?
01:03:48She's 16 and he's 3,000 years old.
01:03:52It's an inappropriate age gap.
01:04:05And we're having a baby.
01:04:09Awww.
01:04:11Some of my feelings...
01:04:14Some of my feelings...
01:04:22You have a unique style.
01:04:26And you can finally be free.
01:04:28The Exhibition Centre have already been in touch.
01:04:30They want to play it on a constant loop.
01:04:31Miss S, we just wanted to say that you're really intelligent.
01:04:37You're a really good teacher.
01:04:39And we made you this.
01:04:41That's very thoughtful, girls.
01:04:45Thanks, girls.
01:04:47Pat, I'm in awe of you.
01:04:49Didn't I ask you to get me a Coke?
01:04:53Now, I think Brianna has something she wants to say.
01:04:57On behalf of everyone at Broadcom High,
01:05:00we would like to thank you for coming to our school
01:05:02and dazzling us with movie magic.