- 2 days ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00You
00:20Can I help you? Sir, are you all right, sir? Oh
00:28Yes, sorry. I'm okay now. I
00:36Suppose you don't have a bathroom I could use
00:43Don't do anything weird in there
01:02Yeah, I'm not just the president of the hair club for men. I am also a client
01:17I will take all of these you feeling okay? Actually, I have never felt better. Oh
01:24I forgot to give you back your keys. Move old timer. Whoa hands up
01:29Put the money in the back. Do it. You don't want to do this, son
01:33Somebody might get hurt. Yeah, you okay. All right. You don't shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Take
01:39it
01:42Where's the rest that's all there is
01:45What about the safe? You don't have a seat. Oh, why don't you have a safe?
01:54No
02:06That was awesome
02:30Hey, Sam
02:31Am I under arrest?
02:34No, of course not
02:36We're worried about you, Sammy
02:39You haven't been here very long and yet you keep getting yourself into some very
02:44Uncomfortable scrapes. Yeah, well Edward was your fault
02:48That's fair
02:49But I'm not the one breaking into funeral homes
02:56I
02:56Wanted to say goodbye to a friend a friend you just met
03:01Sam I know what you said to the EMTs the night that Jack died you said that some
03:07thing
03:08Killed him I have the examiner's report Sam. It was just a heart attack
03:13And now the mortician is telling me that he found signs that you were fiddling with Jack's body in the
03:18middle of the night
03:19This is some deeply disturbing stuff Sam
03:21It's not like that. Okay. Well, what is it like Sam help me understand what's going on here?
03:27I was I was looking for proof proof that something killed Jack
03:34Yeah
03:37Sam I
03:38Um
03:40I'd like you to consider
03:42Checking yourself into the manor just so we can run a few tests
03:45I know what I saw goddammit
03:55You know the story of the boy who cried wolf
03:59What the original story took place in this perfect village
04:05Surrounded by a dark forest
04:08Now in this village lived a little boy who loved to play beneath the trees at the edge of town
04:15Until
04:17One day the boy
04:19Saw a wolf
04:21Watching him from the shadows of the forest
04:25Scared the boy ran home told the villagers that he had seen a wolf and
04:30Of course the villagers believed him they immediately formed a hunting party but
04:35When they reached the edge of the woods
04:39There was no sign of the wolf
04:40The next day
04:41Same thing happened and the day after that
04:46Well for days this went on until
04:48Until the villagers became convinced the boy was lying
04:54Now at this point Sam
04:58The boy could have walked away
05:00The wolf would have never dared come out of his forest
05:05The boy could have lived a long
05:08And happy life
05:10In that perfect village
05:12But his pride
05:15Wouldn't allow it
05:17Determined to prove that he was telling the truth
05:19The boy ventured into the forest
05:23Where the wolf
05:26Ate him up
05:28Do you see what I'm saying Sam?
05:33You forgot the ending
05:36Did I?
05:37In the end the villagers avenged the little boy
05:41And they killed the wolf
05:52Oh well
05:54Can't say I didn't try
05:56What about me?
05:57You, you are free to go
06:00What that's it?
06:02We're not the cops Sam
06:03We're only trying to help
06:06No hard feelings
06:08I'll see you at Edwards Memorial
06:10Wait, wait
06:14Edward's dead?
06:15You didn't hear?
06:17Yeah, he passed in his sleep
06:20The night he came to visit
06:22He wasn't well, Sam
06:25He...
06:25He kept talking about seeing monsters
06:30Got himself into all kinds of uncomfortable scrapes
06:38Only one way that story ends
06:41What a shame
07:01What a shame
07:03Rene?
07:04Ah, good morning
07:06Oh, good morning
07:13You okay?
07:15I just had a little tickle
07:17Going somewhere?
07:18Yeah, I gotta teach a class
07:20Right
07:25Uh, wanna do something later?
07:28Um, tonight?
07:30Sorry
07:30Yeah, we could, uh, we could go see a movie or something
07:34Still owe me that dinner
07:36I can't tonight
07:39Well, uh, Nosotros is playing the tumblewood on Sunday
07:42Ah, Sunday's worse
07:44Why don't you just come over here tomorrow night
07:47And, uh, I'll burn you some dinner
07:49You know
07:51I'm starting to feel like a sneaky link over here
07:53What's that?
07:54The guy you don't want your friends to see you with
07:57Sneaky link
07:57I like that
07:59Not exactly making me feel better
08:03Listen, am I the first older woman you've dated?
08:07What does that matter?
08:08You go out, you get looks
08:10People make assumptions, it's like a whole thing
08:12Well, fuck them, I don't care
08:15That's what they all say
08:19I'm not your first younger man
08:23So, trust me when I say
08:25It is not worth all the bullshit that goes with you and me
08:28Going to a concert at tumblewood
08:29You mean I'm not worth it?
08:30No, that's not what I said
08:33Yeah, well, I'm old enough to read between the lines
08:36Pass
08:37Pass
08:50Well, well, well
08:55Hey, good morning sunshine
08:58You didn't wake me for my shift
09:00Anywhere from Sam?
09:01Eh, radio silence
09:05How about art?
09:07I left a dozen messages
09:10What if something happened to him?
09:12What is that thing?
09:13I'm sure he's fine
09:14The safest place for art is out in that desert
09:17Far away from our unfolding creature feature
09:22You're awfully calm for a man who just found out monsters are real
09:26Um, not that calm
09:30Oh, this is our life, yeah
09:34Sleeping in shifts and hiding knives
09:37I really don't know
09:41Sam!
09:43Woohoo! Sam!
09:44Sam!
09:45Hey!
09:48Sam!
09:49Oh my god
09:50You look terrible
09:53I missed you too
09:54So what happened?
09:56They just let you go?
09:57We better talk inside
10:02So, Blaine knows about the monster?
10:04I think he's covering it up
10:05But why would he do that?
10:06Well, he has houses to sell
10:08So we go public?
10:09They won't believe us
10:10The police?
10:11No, they won't believe us either
10:12They'll think we're a bunch of senile coots
10:14And just lock us up in the manor
10:15Well, we have to warn people
10:17Our neighbors
10:18We cannot tell a soul
10:21Anyone who knows the truth is in danger
10:22Blaine made that very clear
10:24Oh my god, what's he gonna do?
10:25Double ban me from the community center?
10:27He killed Edward
10:29Holy shit
10:32Why?
10:34You're trying to help me
10:38Poor Edward
10:39Okay, no, this is wrong
10:41This is wrong
10:42Something is feeding on us
10:44And we have to do something
10:47I'm gonna kill it
10:48Kill it?
10:49Yeah
10:50How do we do it?
10:51I didn't say we
10:52Blaine has no idea you two are involved
10:54Safer to stay that way
10:55Take it down a notch, cowboy
10:57Yeah, we're both part of this now
11:00Till the end, Sam
11:01Which, given our ages, could be any day
11:13Hey, all right, looking good
11:16You changed your hair or something?
11:17You know me
11:18Always on the cutting edge of the factory
11:22Take care, Brad
11:24Wee-haw!
11:29Wee-haw!
11:32When I wake up in the morning, love
11:36And the sunlight hurts my eyes
11:40And something without warning, love
11:44Bears heavy on my mind
11:48Then I look at you
11:52And the world's alright with me
11:57Just one look at you
12:00And I know it's gonna be
12:05A lovely day
12:09Yeah, baby
12:10Yeah
12:11Yeah, baby
12:12I love you
12:16Yeah.
12:25No
12:25No
12:26The
12:26No
12:26No
12:26No
12:31My
12:39Okay, if we want to kill the thing, we have to find it first.
12:43What do we know?
12:44We know it's a creepy bitch who sneaks into people's houses at night.
12:47How's it get in?
12:48I don't know.
12:49Where's it come from?
12:50No clue.
12:51What's it look like?
12:52It has too many legs.
12:54Like a spider?
12:55Not really.
12:56All right.
12:57New plan.
12:58We get it to come to us.
13:00What, you mean like invited over to watch the game?
13:03Ha!
13:04No!
13:05To dinner.
13:06Elaborate, Wally.
13:07Last night, when I couldn't sleep, I did a little bit of light reading.
13:10And based on the position of the marks in the back of our throats, I think the creature is drinking
13:14our cerebrospinal fluid.
13:16The stuff around our brains?
13:18Hmm.
13:18Somebody took AP Bio.
13:20Now, if the creature is taking small amounts, a little at a time, we might not even notice it first.
13:25But long term, we're talking brain damage, seizures, a whole list of neurological disorders.
13:30Like Maxwell's.
13:31Yes.
13:32Exactly.
13:33Our little friend is taking years off our lives.
13:37Years.
13:38But if I can get a hold of a sample of cerebrospinal fluid, I think I can create a bait.
13:43Unfortunately, that's not something you can just pick up with the local Circle K.
13:48So where do we get it?
13:53Uh-uh.
13:54Oh, hell no.
13:56No.
13:57No.
13:57No.
14:01You've done this before, right?
14:02Oh, yeah.
14:03Plenty of times.
14:06Okay.
14:07First things first, I'm just going to apply a little topical lidocaine.
14:11Uh-huh.
14:15You'll buy it for me, Sam?
14:16Uh-huh.
14:19Oh, God.
14:20Doing great.
14:22Great, Sam.
14:23There we go.
14:24I'll just give that a little bit of time to work.
14:27Well, lidocaine will help with the pain, right?
14:29Absolutely.
14:31You know, Sam, while here, he used to be a very famous doctor.
14:36He was on the cover of Time.
14:38I didn't know about that.
14:40I investigated you online.
14:41You lousy snoop.
14:43Yeah, I was a small part of a small article back in the 80s about a group of doctors in
14:48the front line in the fight against the mysterious gay cancer.
14:50And, uh, I don't have to tell you how that story ended.
14:54Okay.
14:55You should be numb by now.
14:57All right.
14:58Open wide and think of Europe.
15:03Squeeze my hand.
15:04Move.
15:08Almost.
15:15That's it.
15:16Good job, Sam.
15:17Oh.
15:19Okay.
15:19You have beautiful brain fluid, my friend.
15:22Thank you very much.
15:24Okay.
15:24We got the bait.
15:25How do we kill the thing?
15:26I got an idea, but first I need some supplies and a ride.
15:30I'll drive you.
15:31Wally, can we take your car?
15:32It's all yours.
15:34Okay.
15:35You better watch what you say.
15:39That mutt better watch its back.
15:41How dare you?
15:42Oh, I'm going to kill it.
15:44Don't you touch my puddles.
15:45If only it were just puddles.
15:47Oh, what's the problem?
15:48His dog keeps crapping on my lawn.
15:51Puddles only craps on my lawn.
15:53That's because he's my dog.
15:54Okay, well, you can't be back here.
15:55I want to talk to Hank right now.
15:57What the hell is going on out here?
16:00Ah, how many times do I have to tell you two to put coming in here and bothering us with
16:06this nonsense?
16:07I should take you both outside.
16:08Now, Hank, you know this is not how we speak to our residents.
16:14I'm sorry, boss.
16:17I sincerely apologize.
16:18Hank here has been under a lot of stress lately, but that's no excuse.
16:23So we're going to have, uh, Paz.
16:26Paz here will take your statements, and don't worry.
16:28He's one of our best.
16:32Hank, can I have a word with you downstairs?
16:36Downstairs?
16:39Sure.
16:58Come on.
16:59Renee.
17:00Oh, I'm sorry.
17:00I got your message.
17:02What's wrong?
17:03Honey, are you okay?
17:03I'm fine.
17:05But your message said SOS.
17:07Oh.
17:08Yes.
17:10There's a guy.
17:10A guy.
17:12A guy.
17:12Oh, God.
17:13Oh.
17:15Darling, you scared the hell out of me.
17:16I thought something was actually wrong.
17:18Outside of the key lime all over your boob.
17:21I'm sorry to disappoint you.
17:22No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:23Ray, Ray, I'm sorry.
17:24It's just, ugh, things are crazy right now.
17:26Talk to me.
17:28I'll tell you later.
17:29Hey, so, does your tea have anything to do with that hot security guard I saw leaving your house in
17:34a huff this morning?
17:35Uh, you know what?
17:36All I did was clearly establish my boundaries.
17:39Sure, put up walls.
17:40And he gets his panties all in a bunch.
17:42Great, yeah.
17:42So you treated him like a child and you're upset that he's acting like a woman.
17:45Oh, you know what?
17:46I really like this one, Raleigh.
17:49I don't know.
17:50He's, he's different.
17:51Yeah.
17:52Well, you know what?
17:52You got to shake things up.
17:53I mean, if he's different, you got to be different.
17:55You know what?
17:56Live it up all you can.
17:58You got to go rent a hotel room somewhere and fuck the walls down.
18:02What, my advice?
18:03Go be a whore in Sedona.
18:13Judy!
18:17You home?
18:18Come on.
19:04Fuckin' Jack.
19:15Sam.
19:16Hey, Sam.
19:18Yeah?
19:18We're here.
19:19Oh, I'm sorry.
19:20I must have drifted off.
19:21Well, you were snoring like a demon.
19:23I figured you needed to rest.
19:26Whose house is this?
19:29My daughter.
19:31We just need to grab a few things.
19:33Won't take long.
19:47Whoa, what are you doing with so many TVs?
19:48My daughter and I used to fix them up together, just for fun.
19:53It's an engineering thing.
19:55The cathode ray tubes on these sets seem to mess with the monster's blood.
20:00So I'm thinking, with enough TVs and a couple of other odds and ends, maybe I can build some kind
20:07of weapon.
20:07This is your wife.
20:10This is your wife.
20:13She's pretty.
20:16Look at you.
20:20You guys look so happy.
20:24You believe in ghosts?
20:29If you asked me two days ago, I would have said no.
20:33Now?
20:37Since I moved to the boroughs, I feel her presence.
20:44It's like she's always just around the corner.
20:52At Jack's memorial, I started to see things.
20:57Little things.
20:59Impossible things.
21:02But last night, I saw her.
21:05Saw?
21:06I think she was trying to tell me something.
21:08Oh, Sam.
21:13Dad, what are you doing here?
21:16Who's this?
21:18I'm his next door neighbor.
21:20I just, your daddy wanted a TV.
21:22I'll be in the car.
21:25Aren't you supposed to be at work?
21:27Yeah, I forgot Cody's science homework today.
21:29So, what are you doing here?
21:35I just came to pick up some old TVs.
21:37For what?
21:39A little project.
21:41Okay.
21:42I've left you a lot of messages, Dad, and you haven't returned my calls.
21:45Yeah, I've been busy.
21:46But yet you have time for pretty neighbors and your old TVs, but...
21:49It's not like that.
21:50Can you explain to me what it's like then?
21:57I can't.
22:02Okay.
22:03And we're done here.
22:04No, no, wait.
22:05Claire.
22:06I lost her too, Dad.
22:19Hi, I'm calling to see if you have any rooms available this weekend.
22:23I'm going to have to make sure if you have any rooms available this weekend.
22:27Oh, really?
22:29Um, any king bed?
22:34Haha, that's excellent.
22:38Um, I think Desert View.
22:40Yeah, not Pool View.
22:46Uh, sorry, you know what?
22:47Uh, something just came up.
22:48I'm going to have to call you back.
22:59What are you hiding, you shady Sasquatch?
23:04Yes, spider view.
23:14Good job.
23:17Good job, Tim.
23:24Good job.
23:29Good job, Tim.
23:30Good job, Tim.
23:31Good job.
23:33Let's go, Tim.
23:33Good job, Tim!
23:55what are you drinking uncle nearest never heard of him
24:03well let me introduce you to
24:15there you go
24:31well uncle nearest will get you
24:43wally we're back
24:49good lord what are you doing oh i finished preparing the bait then i realized that if
24:54we want to entice the creature into our trap we have to make the whole scene as alluring as possible
24:59we're gonna get you a date baby so the humidifier there distributes the uh the cerebral spinal fluid
25:05through the dummy and into the air precisely and then when the creature comes sniffing we spring
25:10our trap oh speaking of which how'd it go do we have our weapon we have a car full of
25:15old tvs and
25:16these toys oh i can use the magnets to direct and focus the particles from the tvs into a beam
25:23like a laser gun yeah kind of oh i haven't seen one of these since i was a kid beautiful
25:28i'll be
25:29back where are you going to get a real weapon
25:34it's amazing
26:04it's amazing
26:05it's amazing
26:05hold your horses
26:09what the hell do you want
26:11are you uh tim hauser i'm not looking to sell my house no uh no i'm i'm here to ask
26:17you about
26:18your father uh milton hauser
26:25christ another one another you think you're the first long lost kid to come sniffing around here
26:30asking questions about dad man had more bastards than brains well you come this far might as well get
26:39disappointed inside
26:46i hope you like your lemonade a little tart doctor says i can't go with the sugar anymore
26:57go ahead with your questions judge judy will be on in 20 minutes i'll never miss an episode so
27:05sounds like you and and dad didn't get along i couldn't stand the bastard
27:11what's this a little bit of family history that's what you came for
27:18when did he pass away 1975 i'm older now than he was when he passed crashed his car out in
27:27the
27:27desert body was burned so bad they had to keep the casket closed
27:33and he worked in prison right started out as a guard and worked his way up to warden
27:38that's when i came on board that's when i met mr smile
27:43mr smile that's what the inmates called him no one ever saw the old man's smile unless he was hurting
27:48somebody i should have reported him but he was still my daddy
28:03do you recognize the other man in that picture
28:08can't save that dude i've seen all the terrible things daddy did to people
28:14our blood is poisoned everybody would be a lot better off if our whole family
28:18line choked out and died that time do what it do wipe things clean
28:33i'm not afraid to start again when i left school to start the contracting business she was there
28:40when the kids went off to college and i was no longer daddy she was there
28:45when i hurt my back and had to retire she was there your duty my north star
28:54a fixed point in the ever expanding universe
29:01well she fell in love with another man now i'm lost to sea and what the hell do i do
29:12easy you punish her
29:16punish for what she did to you i don't care about the sex i'm not talking about sex
29:24i'm talking about love true love that's transcendent
29:33meaning above all else
29:38you had that but she sullied it defiled it she stabbed you in the back so now you stab her
29:53in the front
29:56you don't
30:00you're
30:12you're
30:13excuse me
30:31Oh, my God.
31:10Oh, my God.
31:23Oh, my God.
31:30Help me.
31:33Help me.
31:34Oh, my God.
31:52Oh, my God.
31:55Oh, my God.
32:06Quartz.
32:07Fuck it, Hank.
32:16Oh, my God.
33:04This son of a bitch just up my ass after this is a kid.
33:07I don't know who I start seeing this.
33:10Maybe it likes shiny rocks.
33:14You can see that girl.
33:31Goddamn rats.
34:03Fuck me.
34:10Learn to mind your own business, amigo.
34:26It's getting dark out there.
34:27How's it going, Sam?
34:30Almost done.
34:33The house is all sealed up.
34:35There's no way in or out.
34:37Except that patio door right there.
34:38Now the tableau is set and our star is ready.
34:42As soon as that thing comes in, we blast it with Sam's TVs.
34:45Okay, we're working four-hour shifts.
34:46One of us posted in the bathroom with the controls.
34:49The second across the street asleep while the other one watches over them.
34:52And then rinse and repeat.
34:54Could take days.
34:56Could take weeks.
35:05Judy, are you absolutely sure you sealed the house?
35:07I'm sure.
35:11Well, something got in.
35:13It's impossible.
35:15Nothing's impossible anymore.
35:19What the hell are you gonna do with that?
35:20I'm gonna shoot something.
35:22Wait, wait.
35:22Shoot me.
35:22Wait.
35:25Wait.
35:25Wait till now.
35:27Stick to the plan.
35:52I ring up.
35:54Wait.
36:25What the hell happened?
36:26I tripped the breakers, but I've got battery backups.
36:28We'll be...
36:33It's here.
36:35Don't look.
36:39It's on top of the closet.
36:43What's it doing?
36:46It's looking at us.
36:51Turn the TVs.
36:53What?
36:54Turn the TVs to aim at it.
36:56But...
36:57Do it casually.
36:59Oh, casually?
37:01Yeah.
37:03Shit.
37:05Shit.
37:08Oh, my God.
37:11Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
37:13He's doing something.
37:14Yeah, I'm almost done.
37:15Sam.
37:17I have to go fast.
37:19Time's up.
37:20Now.
37:26It didn't work.
37:28I hit it.
37:34I think I hit it.
37:35Don't let it get away.
37:35I think I hit it.
37:44I don't know.
37:50What I was expecting, didn't I have ever met?
37:55I don't know.
37:57Not so quick.
37:59I definitely got an example of that crew.
37:59Theyście can call me me before.
37:59And, you know, she's like that.
38:00They donkey him.
38:04This guy?
38:05Who's thinking Mo Marx?
38:07Who would you see herniazione with her ordeal?
38:14Just for sure.
38:27I am a passenger
38:31And I ride, and I ride