- 2 days ago
First broadcast 28th August 2014.
The siblings' mother Marion insists that Hannah looks after her for two days whilst she is temporarily blind after laser eye surgery but Hannah feels enslaved by her.
Charlotte Ritchie - Hannah
Tom Stourton - Dan
Stella Gonet - Marion
Emer Kenny - Izzy
Toby Manley - Pete
Daran Johnson - Guy 1
Joe Parham - Guy 2
Lucien Young - Guy 3
Joshua Hayes - Johnny
Tom Andrews - Sensei Chris
Leon Corbin - Diner
Vinita Satchit - Taekwondo Class Student
Trevor Watts - Taekwondo Class Student
The siblings' mother Marion insists that Hannah looks after her for two days whilst she is temporarily blind after laser eye surgery but Hannah feels enslaved by her.
Charlotte Ritchie - Hannah
Tom Stourton - Dan
Stella Gonet - Marion
Emer Kenny - Izzy
Toby Manley - Pete
Daran Johnson - Guy 1
Joe Parham - Guy 2
Lucien Young - Guy 3
Joshua Hayes - Johnny
Tom Andrews - Sensei Chris
Leon Corbin - Diner
Vinita Satchit - Taekwondo Class Student
Trevor Watts - Taekwondo Class Student
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:16Where did you find those croissant?
00:18I didn't find them, I bought them.
00:20Come on, Hannah, please.
00:22This isn't even cereal, it's just a bowl full of milk and basmati rice.
00:25You can have a croissant if you promise to pay rent.
00:28Or even just stop using my conditioner.
00:30I think I'd rather just not pay rent and have very silky hair.
00:37What are you reading?
00:38Loving it, magazine.
00:39Real-life stories and celeb gossip.
00:41Did you know Jessica Biel only drinks raccoon's milk?
00:45Oh, look, there's an article here about a couple who run an erotic sex dungeon.
00:49They've got swings and a hydraulic dildo machine and a fingering grotto.
00:56Wait, why would you need a whole grotto just for that?
00:58Not for me, I'm afraid.
01:00Never been into any of that kind of fancy, kinky stuff, you know?
01:04Bondage, condoms, role-play.
01:05Sorry, did you just say condoms?
01:07What do you mean you're not into condoms?
01:09I don't really wear them.
01:10Just keep it simple.
01:12Call me old-fashioned.
01:13You're not old-fashioned.
01:14You're a fucking idiot.
01:16Mum, tell him he's got to wear condoms.
01:19She's right.
01:20Daniel, you've got to wear protection.
01:22I mean it.
01:23If you knock up some tramp, I'm not going to pay to help get rid of it.
01:26And you should get yourself tested as well before you end up some syphilitic madman wandering around Liddle in a
01:31nappy.
01:31I mean, I don't think that sounds so bad.
01:33But fine, I'll go tomorrow.
01:35You know they're going to stick stuff up there.
01:38Like wide, rigid stuff.
01:41Hannah, stop taunting your brother.
01:43It's tedious.
01:44And I need you to pick me up tomorrow.
01:46What?
01:46Why?
01:47Why can't Dan do it?
01:48I mean, look at him.
01:52No, I'm not giving you any more lifts.
01:54You always sit in the back and treat me like I'm your chauffeur.
01:56And then you call me a loser for driving the speed limit.
01:59I suppose it's not very important.
02:00I mean, I'm only having surgery.
02:02What?
02:02Are you dying, Mum?
02:03Is it your heart or leprosy?
02:04Is it hereditary?
02:04Or leprosy?
02:04Is it something I need to be worried about?
02:06It's leprosy, isn't it?
02:07I'm not dying.
02:08It's a very common operation for women my age.
02:10But I do need someone there afterwards, OK?
02:14Good.
02:15Now give your brother a quest one, for God's sake.
02:17Yes, I win, you lose.
02:20That's one spy, see me the ball.
02:23I thought you said no taunting.
02:25I know, but it's sort of funny when he does it to you.
02:49This is bullshit, Mum.
02:50I cannot believe you tricked me.
02:52Hello, please keep it done.
02:52Hannah, just had surgery.
02:54Yeah, laser eye surgery.
02:56I thought it was something serious, not some dumb cosmetic procedure.
02:59My self-esteem is not dumb.
03:02Believe me, nothing kills the sexual mojo more on a hot date than pulling out a pair of bifocals.
03:07I don't want to hear about your mojo.
03:08Hannah, I have a very active social life, whether you like it or not, which is why I will be
03:13needing you to assist me for a couple of days, till the blindness wears off.
03:17I will assist you.
03:18Help me run errands, get me to appointments.
03:20You'll be my seeing eye daughter.
03:23First, we need to pick up my bedding, drop it at your place.
03:26Also, we need to pick up some dry cleaning.
03:28Then yoga before coffee with Lucinda.
03:30I have a bra fitting at three.
03:32Oh, and it's my turn to host cocktail night for the girls.
03:35But what about my life?
03:36I've got stuff planned for this weekend too.
03:39Like what?
03:39My blog?
03:40You haven't updated that thing in nine months.
03:43Come on, Hannah.
03:44Chop, chop.
03:45Oh, Mum, do you have to?
03:52OK, I just wanted to go over a couple of things.
04:02Next to number of sexual partners in the past six months, you've put seven question marks.
04:08Well, a gentleman never tells.
04:11OK, sure.
04:12But you do realise you actually have to tell me?
04:14Oh, right, yeah.
04:16Erm, none.
04:18Oh, cool.
04:21Right, so, if you could just pop your trousers down and lie back for me.
04:36Sweet tat.
04:37What does it mean?
04:38Something mystical and, er, deep?
04:39No, it actually, it's tie for public restroom.
04:43Got it done at the full moon party when I was 17.
04:46Cop?
04:47Yeah, my mum went apeshit when she saw it.
04:49My mum would never let me get a tattoo.
04:51She says they only look good on Polynesian men.
04:53Yeah, I sort of regret mine, but, I don't know, we all make mistakes, don't we?
04:58Might as well keep a record of some of them.
05:00Right, all done.
05:05Now, Dan, erm, I'm afraid we're going to have to amputate.
05:11What?
05:12I'm screwing with you.
05:13You're fine.
05:14Oh!
05:16Er, just head next door and the nurse will take some blood.
05:19Right.
05:27Maybe it's just because you were touching my genitals a second ago,
05:31but I kind of felt like there was a connection between us.
05:34I don't know if maybe you want to get a drink or dinner later?
05:38Oh, I don't know.
05:39Might be considered a bit unprofessional.
05:41I won't tell anyone, I promise.
05:43Just maybe my sister.
05:46Yeah, okay.
05:47Why not?
05:48Great.
05:50Here is my number.
05:54Wow!
05:55A number and 120 condoms?
05:58Yeah.
05:59I get them free.
06:00It's one of the perks of the job.
06:01Brilliant.
06:07Hear that, Hannah?
06:09That's the sound of you not getting me a drink.
06:12I literally just got you one.
06:13The doctor said I had to drink plenty of fluids.
06:18I don't think you meant vodka and soda.
06:21Dan, are you going to help me out with mum or what?
06:23Sorry, I've got a date.
06:24I met an amazing girl at the STI clinic.
06:28You picked someone up at an STI clinic?
06:31It's like going for a buffet at a sewage plant.
06:32Don't worry.
06:33She just works there.
06:34She hasn't got anything.
06:35She's like the manager of the sewage plant.
06:38A funny, sexy manager who's also a doctor.
06:44What was that?
06:45Mum made me download her an air horn app to her phone.
06:48Dan, she's even worse when she's blind.
06:50I've been driving around making a drink.
06:51She even made me read to her.
06:53That doesn't sound that bad.
06:54The only thing she's got on her Kindle are self-help books about the menopause
06:57and a collection of poems by Deborah Meaden.
07:00I didn't even know she wrote poems.
07:01Well, I wish I could stay and help, but I've got to get ready for this date.
07:05I think I really like STI Girl.
07:07Well, probably don't call her that.
07:09Good advice.
07:09I'm going to go take a shower.
07:10Is it cool if I use your conditioner again?
07:12No.
07:12Great, thanks.
07:14Oh.
07:18So when did you first know you wanted to work with genitals?
07:20Oh, well, STIs weren't my first choice.
07:23I was kind of more into orthopedics.
07:24What's orthopedics?
07:25Oh, it's like broken bones and shit.
07:27You get paid to literally drill bolts into old ladies' hips.
07:30Holy shit!
07:32You were basically making real-life wolverines.
07:34Why didn't you just do that?
07:35Well, I kind of slightly fucked up med school.
07:38It's actually really hard to take an exam when you're in a K-hole.
07:41Even multiple choice.
07:43Well, at least you finished uni.
07:45I left after seven months.
07:46Oh, you dropped out?
07:47Dropped out, kicked out.
07:49There was a lot of confusion at the time.
07:51Basically, me and my friends thought we could save money by making our own eggs instead of buying them.
07:56So we got like five chickens, kept them in the garden.
07:58But they turned out to be male chickens.
08:01So instead of laying eggs, they just sort of constantly fought each other.
08:06One thing led to another, and soon people started placing bets on which chicken would win, so...
08:10You started a cockfighting ring?
08:12By accident, but, uh, yes.
08:14Wow, we are both fuck-ups.
08:17Here's to fucking up.
08:33Get your dick out.
08:36Excuse me?
08:37Come on, do it.
08:41Are you sure?
08:42This is a pretty classy restaurant.
08:44I mean, they don't even do bottomless drinks or anything.
08:46Trust me.
08:47Get your dick out.
08:54Okay.
09:29Would you like to see a dessert menu?
09:30We're fine, thanks.
09:33Actually, do you guys do a cheese board?
09:47Yes, I'm doing it, OK?
09:53Whoa.
09:54Why is there so much food out?
09:56Mum wanted breakfast in bed, but after three batches,
09:58the eggs still aren't Benedict enough.
10:00I don't even know what that means.
10:02Well, can I have this, then?
10:03I worked up quite an appetite last night.
10:07Yeah, fine.
10:07Thanks.
10:09What with my date last night, I am just so hungry.
10:15And I thought I was hungry last night on my date.
10:18Do you want me to ask you how your date went?
10:20Yes, please.
10:20How did the date go?
10:21Two words, foot job.
10:24Actually, that might be one word.
10:26Point is, I got a foot job.
10:27And I'm in love.
10:29That is so unfair.
10:31I get stuck with Stevie Wanker and her entourage,
10:34and you're all falling in love and getting foot jobs.
11:04I want a foot job.
11:06I mean, Izzy said they're more the merrier.
11:07Besides, she's not that bad.
11:10Hannah, if you're going to ignore the app,
11:13then it was an utter waste of money.
11:14Either pay attention or reimburse me the 69 pence.
11:17It's your call.
11:20All right.
11:21Let's party.
11:34Hello.
11:35Sorry, do I know you?
11:36Oh, hi, pal.
11:38You made it.
11:40I've got this.
11:42That's my flatmate Pete.
11:43He is a twat.
11:44Oh, cool.
11:45This is my sister Hannah and my mum.
11:47They're not twats.
11:49Oh, you brought your mum.
11:50What's happening?
11:51Where are we?
11:52She's not really blind.
11:54I'm going to grab a drink
11:55or chat about bones some more.
11:58We could rate them, best or worst.
12:00Skull, rib, leg bone.
12:02Actually, I have to go and check on my friend Johnny
12:04because he just killed his driving test
12:06and he's super depressed.
12:07But there's drink in the kitchen, yeah?
12:13Hannah, where the hell have you dragged me to?
12:15I thought we were meeting the girls for spin clubs.
12:16We're at a house party, Mum.
12:18I tricked you just like you tricked me
12:19into taking care of you.
12:21OK, very good.
12:22You tricked me.
12:23Well done.
12:23I'll buy you a crown or a biscuit or something.
12:25Now can we please leave?
12:26No, we're staying.
12:27I spent all weekend helping you out.
12:29But tonight, it's Mumma's turn to let her hair down.
12:32By Mumma, I mean me, not you.
12:34Fine, I'll walk home or I'll call the police.
12:36Have you arrested for kidnapping?
12:38Look, relax, Mum.
12:40Hannah!
12:41OK, here's your vodka and here are some Doritos.
12:45So sit tight and I'll see you in about three hours.
12:48Hannah, don't.
12:49Dad, walk away.
12:50Hannah!
13:03All right?
13:05Who do you know here?
13:06Oh, um, do you know Izzy?
13:09Yeah.
13:10We, uh, we met yesterday.
13:12We actually went out for dinner.
13:14Yeah, and, um, well, let's just say we hit it off.
13:19I mean, in terms of the...
13:20Did she do the foot thing?
13:21It's amazing, right?
13:22They're like an extra pair of hands.
13:26Sorry, how do you guys know Izzy?
13:28Uh, I've known her ages.
13:30We, uh, actually used to have a bit of a thing.
13:32Yeah, me and Izzy, uh, went to college together and, uh, sort of had a thing.
13:37I accidentally ran over a dog a couple of months back.
13:40And then we, uh, sort of had a thing.
13:42Had a thing, yeah.
13:43Cool.
13:44Cool.
13:44So you've all had things with Izzy.
13:48Cool.
13:50Cool.
13:51That is just so cool.
14:03Hi.
14:05Sorry.
14:06Did you just get that from the cupboard?
14:07Yeah.
14:08I'm usually more into white, but, you know, beggars can't be choosers.
14:11Do you want a glass?
14:12Well, no.
14:13Actually, I live here.
14:14And it's not really party wine.
14:15What do you mean it's not party wine?
14:17It's wine at a party.
14:19Yes, but guests were meant to bring their own drinks.
14:21So if you could put that back...
14:22Blake, I've just spent all weekend looking after my blind mum, okay?
14:26I'm just trying to let my hair down.
14:28I don't even know who you are.
14:29You can't just go rummaging through my stuff.
14:31Stop wigging out.
14:32It's just a glass of wine.
14:33It's not like I took a pair of your dumb pink trousers.
14:37These trousers are not pink.
14:39They're rustic fuchsia.
14:41Now just give me the glass, you lunatic.
14:42If you want this glass of wine, you'll literally have to murder me.
14:45Give me the bloody glass.
14:46What the...
14:46What is your problem, mate?
14:48For God's sake...
14:49Let go.
14:49Hannah?
14:51Hannah, is that you?
14:52Oh, no, you're too thick.
14:55Hannah?
14:56Mum?
14:56Hannah!
14:57Oh, thank God it's you!
14:59Why are you going around groping people?
15:01I told you to sit still.
15:02I told you I didn't want to spend the evening with your abhorrent friends.
15:05As soon as you left, a group of boys started trying to write guilt on my forehead.
15:09Trust me, the people at this party are not my friends.
15:12Some wine Nazi in the kitchen started having a go at me for absolutely no reason,
15:16and no one even stood up for me.
15:18I'm just glad mobile phones are going to make everyone in this generation infertile.
15:22This guy in the kitchen's all like, oh, I live here, I live here.
15:24It's like, we all live somewhere, mate.
15:26There's no need to be a dick about it.
15:28Wish I could teach him a lesson.
15:31I should scratch the word twat into all of his DVDs.
15:34Hannah!
15:34Ah, that's not how I raised you.
15:37If you want to be vindictive, at least do it properly.
15:40This was a genius idea.
15:42I mean, what's the point of inviting people to your house if you're just going to be shitty to them?
15:45Well, what can I say?
15:47Some people are just born with no manners.
15:50Wow, you're really good at that.
15:51You're like the David Blunkett of petty vandalism.
15:54I can't wait till he goes to buy more of his precious wine and his junk's all hanging out.
15:57You know, when I first met your dad, I cut nipple holes in all of his jumpers.
16:02What? How come?
16:03He was throwing a barbecue and he made some joke about my thin Lizzie jacket, so I thought I'd get
16:08even.
16:09How have I never heard this story?
16:11Oh, I've got dozens of stories, much better than that.
16:15You know I took fat boy Slim's virginity.
16:17Fuck off.
16:18I mean, that was before he got into music.
16:20He was still thinking of becoming a cartographer.
16:22Mum?
16:23Seriously, we should get these all down and send them to Love, innit?
16:26You know that Real Life Stories magazine?
16:28They love this shit.
16:30Well, you sort it all out.
16:31I'll open my gossip floodgates.
16:34Do you know what?
16:35I thought this party was going to be a total washout, but I'm actually having a really nice time.
16:41Now, we should go and pour bleach over all of his trainers.
16:56Hey!
16:58Hi, Dan.
17:02Oh, uh, Dan, I'm a bit busy.
17:05Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
17:11I just wanted to see if you were having a good party.
17:14Oh, yeah.
17:16Great.
17:17Me too.
17:20Loving the playlist.
17:21A lot of great tunes.
17:23Look, Dan, it's not really the best time.
17:25Oh, yeah, no.
17:27I guess I'm just sort of wondering what this means for us, exactly.
17:33Oh, well, there wasn't really an us.
17:35What about last night, you know, dinner, other foot stuff?
17:40Oh, look, Dan, you're a really nice guy.
17:43Yesterday was a bit of fun, but that's all.
17:45I'm not really looking for anything serious.
17:47Okay.
17:52Oh, probably just a bit of fun.
17:57Actually, that's my coat.
17:59This one?
18:00Yeah.
18:00Yeah.
18:02Oh.
18:03Oh, sorry.
18:05Thank you, mate.
18:10Sorry about the driving test.
18:12I'll get him next time.
18:14Sure.
18:15And this.
18:16Do you want it open or closed?
18:20Yeah.
18:22Okay.
18:28Goodbye, Izzy.
18:30Bye.
18:31Nice to meet you, Johnny.
18:32Yep.
18:34Bye.
18:51We had it all.
18:53Every moment was painted in gold.
18:57We were made.
18:59And the world was ours.
19:03Dan, have you seen my magazine?
19:05I want to show Mum.
19:06You know Fatboy Slim might be my dad?
19:09What?
19:09Last night, me and Mum got super drunk and trashed this guy's wardrobe.
19:12It was awesome.
19:14Like being in a normal family for once.
19:16Well, I'm glad you two had fun.
19:18Because I had my heart ripped out and chewed up in front of me.
19:22What happened?
19:23I saw Izzy having sex with another guy.
19:26Pornography lied to me, Hannah.
19:28Watching other people have sex is actually really depressing.
19:35Okay, children, I'm off.
19:37Oh, no, Mum, I thought we could go through those magazine stories.
19:39If they buy one, we get 35 quid.
19:42Hannah, my vision is back.
19:43I've got a lot to catch up on.
19:45Okay.
19:45Well, what about tonight?
19:47I thought maybe we could, you know, hang out.
19:48I don't want to see you tonight.
19:50The girls and I have got a taekwondo class with the delicious sensei, Chris.
19:54Bye, Daniel.
19:55Bye, Mum.
19:56This might be the last time I ever see you.
19:59Because someone has murdered my song.
20:01What's wrong with him?
20:03I don't know.
20:03Some girl thing.
20:04Izzy's gone.
20:06No more laughs.
20:08No more love.
20:10No more foot fun.
20:11Daniel, you'll get nowhere in life feeling sorry for yourself.
20:15If someone offends you at a party, you ruin their trousers.
20:18You lose the love of your life.
20:19You do something.
20:20You don't just whine about it.
20:22Like some idiot who's unhappy about their neighbour's sunbathing topless.
20:26It's my damn roof, Terrace.
20:28I'll sunbathe however I bloody want to.
20:30Oh, my God.
20:32You're right, Mum.
20:33Not about the sunbathing stuff.
20:34That was weird.
20:35But I've got to do something.
20:37Just because the girl I love was having sex with another guy in front of me
20:41doesn't mean we shouldn't be together.
20:44See?
20:46This is what family is all about.
20:58Dan!
20:59I'm in the middle of...
21:00I want to say something.
21:00Sorry to do this.
21:01Take one second.
21:05I think I'm in love with you, Izzy.
21:07I close my eyes and I can see us growing old together
21:10and giving each other foot jobs until the day we die.
21:13Dan, I told you, I'm not looking for anything serious.
21:16We're just not on the same wavelength.
21:19What do you mean?
21:20Well, you keep talking about love and growing old together.
21:23You brought your mum to my party.
21:25I'm young.
21:26I want to have fun.
21:27I want to experience stuff.
21:29You're just a bit...
21:32Vanilla.
21:33Vanilla?
21:33Yeah.
21:36I'm not Vanilla.
21:41Would Vanilla do this?
21:52Has this been used?
21:54Er, no.
21:55Thank God.
21:56Please, just give me another chance.
21:58Come round my place tonight
21:59and I will prove that I am not Vanilla.
22:01Well, I guess if you're willing to risk a mouthful of herpes
22:05just to prove a point,
22:06then maybe you deserve one more shot.
22:10Trust me, you will not regret this.
22:12OK, well, can I get back?
22:14Yeah.
22:15Sorry, of course.
22:18Good luck, ma'am.
22:22I'm so sorry.
22:23Sir, breathe in.
22:27And out.
22:29Breathe in.
22:31And out.
22:32Remember, it's all about channeling your inner quiet.
22:35Oh, sorry I'm late, gang.
22:38Hannah, what are you doing here?
22:40I signed up for the class.
22:41What?
22:42We had fun last night.
22:43I just thought we could, you know, recapture the magic.
22:46Plus, you know how much I love fighting.
22:48Sorry, are you here for the class?
22:50Sensei, this is Hannah, my daughter.
22:52You're wearing a black belt.
22:54Uh, yeah.
22:55This is a second-hand kit.
22:56Got it last minute off a guy on Gumtree.
22:58He also threw in...
23:00Oh, my God, Hannah.
23:02Pulled that away.
23:03Uh, relax, Mum.
23:04I do know what I'm doing.
23:06Oh!
23:08Gentlemen, please, stop messing around and get back to the class, ladies.
23:13Yes.
23:13Sensei.
23:14Yeah.
23:17Fantastic.
23:18Sensei Chris is exactly my type.
23:19Now he hates me.
23:20And he knows I have a daughter.
23:30Hi, Dan.
23:32And welcome to Sex-topia.
23:47So, we've got a sex swing stolen.
23:52Not sure how much weight I can take, but I'm pretty sure it's safe.
23:55Some sexy lingerie.
23:57This is all just for show, by the way.
23:59Most of it's my sister's.
24:00And finally, a sexy buffet.
24:03Champagne.
24:04A bowl of red gummy bears.
24:06The most romantic ones.
24:07A bowl of green gummy bears.
24:10The most delicious one.
24:11I've even got ice cubes in the shape of dicks.
24:15This is actually weirdly impressive.
24:18Yeah?
24:19So you'll stay?
24:20Why not?
24:21Because no one's ever stolen a child's swing from me before.
24:24Awesome.
24:25Let's do this.
24:30I've always wanted to do that.
24:34Let's pair off for sparring.
24:36I had the wings.
24:37You and me, Mum.
24:39Promise I'll go easy on you.
24:40Or will I?
24:41No, I will.
24:41It's all right, Hannah.
24:42I think I might be going with someone else.
24:44What?
24:44You don't want to be my partner?
24:46Is this because I asked Sensei Chris how much money Sensei's make in a year?
24:49Frankly, you're cramping my style.
24:51I'd prefer it if you left.
24:52What the hell, Mum?
24:53I just spent all the weekend being your man-servant,
24:55and now you're telling me to piss off.
24:56I'm sorry.
24:57This is my time.
24:58Having my daughter tag along, sort of.
25:00She spoils it.
25:01I thought we made a fresh start.
25:02You know, cutting up those clothes.
25:04Gossing about fat boy Slim.
25:06But maybe I was wrong, and maybe I should go fuck myself.
25:10My own mother wants me to fuck myself.
25:11Hannah, Mary French, please shut up.
25:14Listen, if it'll stop you whinging,
25:15maybe I'll give you a story for that magazine of yours.
25:18If they print it, we can split the money 70-30.
25:20It was my idea.
25:21Fine, whatever.
25:23That got me crack on with the sparring.
25:24Sensei Chris is watching.
25:25I'd love to impress him, see what he's got under that black belt.
25:28It's kind of gross, but I'm really glad we had this talk.
25:32Ah!
25:33Ow!
25:33Great second evening.
25:35Thank you, Sensei.
25:36Yeah.
25:47One moment.
25:49Where are you going?
25:51I've got a little surprise.
25:57What the fuck is that?
25:59This is a hydraulic dildo machine.
26:02I read about it in a magazine.
26:04Now, I don't actually know what hydraulic means,
26:06so I basically just hooked up two vibrators to a car battery.
26:10Oh, my God!
26:11Wait, why are there two vibrators?
26:14One for him, one for her.
26:17Dan, that looks kind of dangerous.
26:20Why is it making that noise?
26:21Whoa!
26:22Who's vanilla now, missus?
26:24Trust me, this thing is totally safe.
26:27I watched a YouTube tutorial.
26:28Not on this, exactly.
26:29It was on car batteries in general, but I got the gist.
26:32We just have to sit back and enjoy the ride.
26:35Bye.
26:36Oh, my God, Dan, let go!
26:37I can't!
26:39How do I turn it off?
26:40I don't know!
26:41I didn't finish the tutorial.
26:43Bye.
26:56Oh, my God, what have you done to the flat?
26:59Is that my underwear?
27:01Oh, yeah.
27:02I turned the place into a sex dungeon for Izzy.
27:05We nearly had sex, but then I electrocuted myself.
27:08What?
27:09Yeah.
27:10I think I might give it a few weeks before I text her again.
27:12Play it cool.
27:14God.
27:14What happened to your nose?
27:16Oh, me and Mum had a really great chat and then she kicked me in the face.
27:22Do you want a nice dick for that?
27:24No.
27:25No, I don't.
27:26Could you get my underwear off the ceiling?
27:28First thing tomorrow.
27:30Fine.
27:30I'm going to bed.
27:31Oh, now Mum's gone, I can finally get my room back.
27:34I wouldn't go in there if RG was supposed to be the fingering grotto.
27:38No, I don't know.
28:08No, I don't know.
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