The Lorelei. (1990)

deaddogsdam

First broadcast 18th March 1990.  A lonely schoolteacher has a strange experience on her walking holiday.  Amanda Redman - Kate Michael Maloney - Tony Ellie Haddington - Helen John Nettleton - Mr. Walker Iola Gregory - Mrs. Walker Isabelle Lucas - Headmistress Michael Eaves - Mike Frost Terence Booth - Jim Barbara Keogh - Old Woman Simon Davison - Stuart Bruce Savage - Roger Michelle McQuade - Christine Michaela Matthieu - Julie (as Michelle Mathieu) Occy Williams - Welsh Farmer Albert Owen - Welsh Farmer Edward Jones - Welsh Farmer

Transcript

00:00:04Oh, my God.

00:00:35Oh, my God.

00:01:00Oh, my God.

00:01:56Oh, my God.

00:02:12Oh, my God.

00:02:29It's worth it.

00:02:30Oh, I must try some.

00:02:31It sounds delicious.

00:02:32Yes, it is.

00:02:33It is.

00:02:36It's worth it.

00:03:05It's worth it.

00:03:31It's worth it.

00:03:38It's worth it.

00:03:41It's worth it.

00:03:44It's worth it.

00:03:51It's worth it.

00:04:06It's worth it.

00:04:08It's worth it.

00:04:15It's worth it.

00:04:44I'm just off for another stroll before bed.

00:04:47Okey-doke. Sandwich is ready when you get back.

00:04:50Oh, okay. Bye.

00:05:33I'll have a lager, please.

00:05:55Fifty pounds.

00:05:59Excuse me.

00:09:07Oh, my goodness.

00:09:08I've forgotten to make your sandwiches.

00:09:11Oh, well, I'll have some tomorrow.

00:09:13No, I'm sure I can come up with something.

00:09:15Twenty nins.

00:09:16I'll bring them up to your room.

00:09:18Oh, um, I'm allergic to onions, by the way.

00:09:35Oh, diddle, diddle, diddle, diddle, diddle, diddle, diddle.

00:09:39What do you do?

00:09:48Oh, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you...

00:10:23Come in.

00:10:24This is really very kind of you, Mr. Walker.

00:10:33Oh, my God.

00:10:59Oh, my God.

00:11:02Are you all right?

00:11:03All suitably intact, I think.

00:11:06No bones broken.

00:11:08Where did he go?

00:11:10Who?

00:11:10The man.

00:11:12Man?

00:11:13You must have seen him.

00:11:15He just burst into my room just now.

00:11:17Just now?

00:11:18But I've just come from downstairs.

00:11:19I would have seen him.

00:11:21Look, he was, he was, um, he was wearing glasses and some kind of a suit.

00:11:26And, uh, he was, I don't know, he was, he was just kind of messy.

00:11:31Now there's a funny thing.

00:11:33Not at all.

00:11:34It scared the flesh off me.

00:11:36I've never been so frightened.

00:11:37But there's no one here.

00:11:44He was just there.

00:11:46You've got some egg on your face.

00:11:47Look, I'm serious.

00:11:48So am I, just there.

00:11:53Oh.

00:11:54Thank you very much.

00:11:55Look, come with me.

00:11:59There's a German couple booked in here tomorrow.

00:12:10And this room is absolutely free.

00:12:13It has been so for a week, unfortunately.

00:12:19And we're redecorating in there.

00:12:23Avocado, we thought.

00:12:34Um, I really don't know what to say.

00:12:37Sorry about your sandwiches.

00:12:39Oh, less trouble than none at all.

00:12:42Bit of mayonnaise in the shag pile.

00:12:44Doesn't need a thing.

00:12:47I could make you some more if you'd like.

00:12:48Oh, no, no, no, I could need a thing.

00:12:50I mean, I'm sure they'd be delicious and thank you for offering.

00:12:53But, um, I'm really not hungry.

00:12:55Well, if you're quite sure.

00:12:58Good night.

00:13:00Sleep tight.

00:13:52Oh, my God.

00:13:53Oh, my God.

00:13:59I missed you at breakfast.

00:14:01You won't have tried any of my bread.

00:14:04Oh, well, maybe next time.

00:14:06Nice mattress, isn't it?

00:14:08Yes, excellent.

00:14:10It's been a great pleasure having you.

00:14:11I do hope you come again.

00:14:13Bargain break next spring.

00:14:15Love to.

00:14:16Bye.

00:14:17Must be choking.

00:14:20Well.

00:14:21Well, well, well.

00:14:23Yes.

00:14:25Extraordinary.

00:14:26She forgot to sign the visitor's book.

00:14:30I'm going into town in a minute.

00:14:32I want some worming cream for the cats.

00:14:33Shall I get you some more yeast?

00:14:35If I knew her father, I'd give him a ring.

00:14:59David Bailey, eat your heart out.

00:15:01I'm not bothered about the artistic content, Helen.

00:15:04No, love.

00:15:06It's just as well, really.

00:15:07Oh, come on.

00:15:08They're not that bad.

00:15:09Oh, don't worry, Chuck.

00:15:10I'm only pulling your leg.

00:15:13Tomorrow morning, you'll have them in the palm of your hand.

00:15:16Yeah, well, a bloody better.

00:15:18A lot of time, effort, and blisters went into those.

00:15:21Oh, Christ, I do hate walking in new boots.

00:15:23Just didn't have time to break them in properly.

00:15:27My father would kill me.

00:15:30Robert's building a garden shed tonight.

00:15:32A garden shed?

00:15:33Well, don't sound so surprised.

00:15:35It was a little dynamo, that one.

00:15:37He could captain a ship.

00:15:39Robert!

00:15:40Well, a dinghy.

00:15:43Any more lager?

00:15:44Help yourself.

00:15:45As if you wouldn't.

00:15:49Oh, you are lucky having a garden.

00:15:57Helen?

00:16:01It doesn't matter.

00:16:21School tomorrow.

00:16:22Home tomorrow.

00:16:56Oh, this one's really interesting.

00:16:58Do you see those bowls of rock there?

00:16:59There's about three of them.

00:17:01Well, they sort of look like they've been scooped up like ice cream, don't they?

00:17:06Well, they have, really, because when the rain comes,

00:17:08it washes all the rocks and the stones down the river,

00:17:11and they get caught in little whirlpools,

00:17:13which spin and spin until they cut these huge bites out of the rock.

00:17:17They're really beautiful, aren't they?

00:17:18Okay. There's another one there.

00:17:25Oh, and this is the river that's at the bottom of the mountain that I showed you.

00:17:31Oh, now this one. I think I've got a better picture.

00:17:35Yeah, this is a place where in the olden days lots of people died,

00:17:38and all the locals called it Devil's Kitchen,

00:17:42because once it took a clergyman's life.

00:17:44You can see what a dangerous place it was.

00:17:48It still is, too.

00:17:49I was really scared up there.

00:17:53It was sort of like being on top of a high building.

00:17:56You know when your tummy feels all squirmy and you think you might fall in?

00:17:59Yes.

00:18:02Right.

00:18:03Armour, Mohamed and Dibti.

00:18:05Will you pull the curtains, please?

00:18:06The rest of you can go.

00:18:14Well, I certainly caught your attention today, Stuart.

00:18:17A bit you're late, isn't it, miss?

00:18:19You're getting better, miss.

00:18:20Oh, thank you, Stuart. You've touched me very deeply.

00:18:24Leave.

00:18:26Oh, thank you, Stuart.

00:18:27Oh, thank you, Stuart.

00:18:31Oh, thank you, Stuart.

00:18:32Oh, thank you, Stuart.

00:18:33Oh, thank you, Stuart.

00:18:35Oh, thank you, Stuart.

00:18:37Oh, thank you, Stuart.

00:18:38Oh, thank you, Stuart.

00:18:41Oh, thank you, Stuart.

00:18:45Oh, thank you, Stuart.

00:18:46Oh, thank you, Stuart.

00:18:50Oh, thank you, Stuart.

00:19:12You bitch, you heath and verminous bitch!

00:19:16It was an accident. I didn't mean to do it.

00:19:18You doc-hating verminous bitch.

00:19:20Look, everyone's looking. This is really embarrassing.

00:19:22I didn't mean to do it.

00:19:23What have you done to my dog's meat?

00:19:25It's all over the floor in that crap.

00:19:28Look at it.

00:19:28I'm sorry.

00:19:29You pay for this.

00:19:30I want money for this.

00:19:32Yes, he's done enough.

00:19:33Now I should have more than this.

00:19:35I should have more than this.

00:19:37You are a slut.

00:19:59You are a slut.

00:20:24Excuse me.

00:20:26Is anyone sitting there?

00:20:28Uh, no, please do.

00:21:01What would you say if I said

00:21:02we'd met before?

00:21:10I'd say we hadn't.

00:21:12We have, you know.

00:21:15Well, I can't place you.

00:21:19Do you know what?

00:21:20Give me a clue.

00:21:22Wales.

00:21:23I know it.

00:21:23Not far from England.

00:21:27Only give me a number one.

00:21:29A Lorelei.

00:21:30Never heard of it.

00:21:31Look, uh, this, this is serious.

00:21:33It's a boarding house near Flanbeda.

00:21:39Sorry.

00:21:40Um, I'm sorry.

00:21:43I think you really got the wrong person.

00:21:45I must just resemble...

00:21:46All right, all right.

00:21:47Now, um, just be straight with me here, okay?

00:21:50I'll be as straight as you like.

00:21:51Right, when I was in Wales one evening,

00:21:53at the Lorelei,

00:21:54a man burst into my room.

00:21:56Hold on a minute.

00:21:58Now, look.

00:22:02I did not go around bursting into people's rooms.

00:22:04It was you.

00:22:05You know it was.

00:22:05You were, you were all disheveled.

00:22:15I can see you're really upset,

00:22:16but please, you've got to believe me when I say this.

00:22:19You have got the wrong person.

00:22:21It was you.

00:22:22Your glasses were all round and silver,

00:22:25and they were all broken.

00:22:27Now, take a deep breath, okay?

00:22:29Oh.

00:22:33What I'm about to tell you will set your mind at rest.

00:22:37Now, look into my eyes very deeply.

00:22:43What?

00:22:45No!

00:22:46Trust me.

00:22:48Please.

00:22:52Look into my eyes.

00:22:54Why?

00:22:55Because I wear contact lenses.

00:22:57See?

00:22:57I don't wear glasses.

00:23:00If I wore glasses,

00:23:01there'd be two little pink bits

00:23:02on the other side of my nose.

00:23:04I don't wear them.

00:23:08Well, you could have...

00:23:10I'm not surprised if someone burst in on you like that.

00:23:14Only it wasn't me.

00:23:22Well, I'm sorry.

00:23:31It was you, you know.

00:23:34Another life, perhaps.

00:23:41Look, I'm sorry.

00:23:42I'm...

00:23:43I hope you...

00:23:44I hope you see why I had to come up to you.

00:23:45Of course.

00:23:46Of course.

00:23:46Forget it.

00:23:47Really.

00:23:49Well, I...

00:23:50I'd better go.

00:23:51I'm sorry.

00:23:52Forgive me.

00:23:52I'm sorry.

00:23:56I'm sorry.

00:24:06I'm sorry.

00:24:08I'm sorry.

00:24:10I'm sorry.

00:24:12Okay.

00:24:21I'm sorry.

00:24:27Come on, come on, come on.

00:24:54What do gypsies read, now there's any tea bags?

00:24:57No idea, what do gypsies read?

00:24:59No, it's a rhetorical question, not a joke.

00:25:03It's the de-skilling of fortune tellers.

00:25:06By increased technology in the tea industry, the scabs.

00:25:12I'll tell you what gypsies read nowadays, scum and scud, look at that.

00:25:16Do yourself a favour, Kate, don't think about the state of your stomach.

00:25:20When was that urn last cleaned out anyway?

00:25:22It's totally disgusting.

00:25:25I hope here comes death breath.

00:25:28Helen, Kate.

00:25:31Mike.

00:25:32Hello.

00:25:33Have you thought?

00:25:35Kate?

00:25:37Oh, er, yes, Mike.

00:25:38I'm sorry, I think I might be busy then.

00:25:41Fine. That's perfectly OK with me.

00:25:44Great.

00:25:45Another time, perhaps, when we're both less busy.

00:25:47Oh, er, my car.

00:25:51Left it on a metre.

00:25:54Must fly.

00:25:55Bye.

00:25:56Bye.

00:26:00Oh, those kids are happy I'm sorry for.

00:26:04Oh, no.

00:26:05It's sweet, really.

00:26:07It's just that sweetness is so total.

00:26:12Pop tonight.

00:26:14Are you all right?

00:26:16I don't know.

00:26:18Are you all right?

00:26:30I don't know.

00:26:32Ooh.

00:26:33I've got the insects, the crickets, I mean, and the dung beetles.

00:26:37It's just a question of Felix the butterfly, or the, er, blind ant.

00:26:46Right.

00:26:47Right, Jim.

00:26:47We can finalise any details of casting and allocation of Jim today.

00:26:51Next time we meet.

00:26:52Oh!

00:26:53Oh!

00:26:53Oh, sorry.

00:26:55This is cough.

00:26:56See ya, Doctor, Jim.

00:26:58See ya, Doctor.

00:26:59That's all right.

00:27:00Bye.

00:27:01Bye.

00:27:02Oh, my God.

00:27:04I wish it'd happened to me.

00:27:07Mind you, if it had happened to me, it would have been some flabby Tory sales rep that burst in.

00:27:11Or pissed on cocktails looking for his car phone.

00:27:14Some blubbery pillock from Macclesfield, would you reckon?

00:27:21I think...

00:27:23Are you all right, love?

00:27:27I think I'm very, very lonely.

00:27:33I know, love.

00:27:34I know.

00:27:34No, Helen, I don't think you do, actually.

00:27:36Not quite.

00:27:37Not...

00:27:37Quite.

00:27:43It's when all the distraction stops.

00:27:45It's just utter silence.

00:27:49And the mirror.

00:27:51You've got Robert.

00:27:54Yes, I know.

00:27:54But I don't need him.

00:27:56Well, of course you don't need him.

00:27:57You've got him.

00:27:58Okay.

00:27:59Every man you meet, you can't live without.

00:28:01Oh, shut up.

00:28:09Do you want a whiskey?

00:28:11Five.

00:28:13Six whiskies?

00:28:16I've tried that.

00:28:24Four.

00:28:27Four.

00:28:54All right, now quiet down and concentrate.

00:29:02Come on, John.

00:29:06Why not?

00:29:07Why not?

00:29:08What's the matter?

00:29:09It's him, sir.

00:29:11You're going to drop her?

00:29:12Do you trust her?

00:29:14If he trusts you, you must trust him.

00:29:16Come on, now.

00:29:17What's the matter?

00:29:18I'm scared, sir.

00:29:23If I do it, will you do it?

00:29:25Don't know.

00:29:26Don't know.

00:29:27Come on.

00:29:31You're not going to drop me, are you?

00:29:35Christine, that's all about trust.

00:29:42Trust me.

00:29:49Promise?

00:29:50Jesus.

00:29:51There's a go.

00:29:53Good.

00:29:53Well done.

00:29:54Oh, God.

00:29:56No, Miss Stewart.

00:29:57You must behave in this.

00:29:58Shut it and leave.

00:30:02No.

00:30:05No.

00:30:06No.

00:30:09No.

00:30:10No.

00:30:11No.

00:30:23No.

00:30:25No.

00:30:36Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

00:30:42Trust, remember?

00:30:46She's trusting him.

00:31:09And if you want to be in the insect play, be here on Thursday by four o'clock at the

00:31:15latest.

00:31:15Off you go.

00:31:18I'm sorry, Julie, love.

00:31:21Don't worry, I read it and I thought it was great.

00:31:26Julie, I'd already marked it, so it won't go against you, I promise.

00:31:30Julie, I really am sorry.

00:31:34Yes, yes.

00:31:39Oh, shit.

00:31:51Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

00:31:53Are you all right?

00:32:11Excuse me, are you the new supply?

00:32:14Yes.

00:32:15Have you been in drama long?

00:32:17A couple of years, yes.

00:32:18Look, would you like a drink after school?

00:32:20It's called the Olive Branch, about half past five.

00:32:22Ask anyone.

00:32:23Right.

00:32:24See you then.

00:32:25Right.

00:32:28Sorry, the what?

00:32:30The wine bar.

00:32:31Ask anyone.

00:32:46There you go.

00:32:49Cheers.

00:32:53Well, hello, my name is Kate Simpson.

00:32:55Tony right away, how do you do?

00:32:57Have we met before?

00:33:02Sorry, I keep thinking we've met before.

00:33:08We have.

00:33:09It's me.

00:33:11Who?

00:33:13The cafe.

00:33:15Oh, for Christ's sake.

00:33:17You know, the mad woman, Wales, Lorelei.

00:33:20Well, they let you out, then.

00:33:23I'm so sorry.

00:33:24You must have thought I was a complete lutter.

00:33:26No, no, no, don't apologise.

00:33:27No, no, you cheered me up.

00:33:28No end.

00:33:29I'm glad to hear it.

00:33:33It wasn't a joke, you know.

00:33:35I was really sure it was you.

00:33:37Right, right.

00:33:37I'm the one that wears glasses.

00:33:38Exactly, except, of course, that you don't.

00:33:51Do you know anything about insects?

00:34:00No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:34:11My son won't be gone on my blood flow.

00:34:34Oh, my God.

00:34:36Tony, you shit.

00:34:38Ah, did you guess it was me?

00:34:41Help me, help me.

00:34:44Hello.

00:34:45Mind if I come in and rest my weary head?

00:34:48You're my guest.

00:34:49Thank you, ma'am.

00:34:51Oh, it's a nice flat.

00:34:56Well, what do you think?

00:34:57What?

00:34:58Oh, it's terrific, terrific.

00:35:00Tony!

00:35:01No, really, really.

00:35:03Brilliant.

00:35:04It's so good.

00:35:05Don't you think there should be more sort of a red admiral,

00:35:08you know, spots and things like that?

00:35:10Hold on a minute.

00:35:12What do you think?

00:35:12More spots?

00:35:13No, no more spots.

00:35:15Right.

00:35:20Do you want a cup of coffee or whiskey, wine, cup of tea?

00:35:24Tea would be lovely.

00:35:25Sit down.

00:35:32It's stillzas in the energy.

00:35:35No, no, no.

00:35:54You're going to quit.

00:36:11You singed your wings.

00:36:43Right, so basically all you have to remember is that wherever you are in the world, where there's less than

00:36:4910 inches rainfall a year, it's a desert.

00:36:59That is where the temperature is hot, substantial. Who knows what substantial means?

00:37:25Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:37:38Oh, my God.

00:38:17I'm in a queer mood today

00:38:18How stupid it is to be a woman

00:38:21I should like to be a man

00:38:23To kiss, to tempt, to overcome

00:38:27Oh, Felix

00:38:31I should make such a fearfully

00:38:33Passionate man, I should

00:38:34I should seize everything I ever wanted

00:38:37Brutally and savagely

00:38:38What a pity you aren't, girl

00:38:40Let's pretend, shall we

00:38:42You be Iris and I'll be your Felix

00:38:45No, Iris

00:38:46It's too dangerous to be Felix

00:38:50Make me a poem

00:38:51Quickly

00:38:52Something passionate

00:38:58There's nothing true

00:39:00The earth and sky were false when first created

00:39:02And you and I will surely lie when love is

00:39:05Con-con-con-con-stermated

00:39:13Shift your legs, Robert

00:39:15I'm fed up with you, Raymond

00:39:16Little zip-broke

00:39:17There's no excuse

00:39:19Sir

00:39:19Not now

00:39:20Kate

00:39:23Yes, Mr. Redway

00:39:24You've got a safety pin, Miss Simpson

00:39:26I do, Mr. Redway

00:39:27Where do I put you?

00:39:27Oh, Raymond, you are gross

00:39:33All right, all right

00:39:39Sir

00:39:39Not now, Vinnie

00:39:40Sir, don't be

00:39:41The pool's still wet

00:39:42Oi

00:39:45Sir

00:39:46I've got pants in my head, sir

00:39:48Oh, that's very funny

00:39:49How's it going, Julie?

00:39:52Now, look, look

00:39:53Use good broad strokes

00:39:55You see, now, look

00:39:56You move the air around a bit

00:39:57It'll dry quicker

00:39:58That's it

00:39:59Why do I have to do this, anyway?

00:40:01I'm a nan

00:40:02Ants don't do dumb

00:40:03Not this big, anyway

00:40:05Just help out, Vinnie, Julie

00:40:07Can't a cricket do it

00:40:08I'm on in a bit

00:40:09I'm nervous

00:40:11You know the crickets are on before the ants, Julie

00:40:13Well, I'm bored, babe

00:40:16Stuart

00:40:17Come here

00:40:19Sir

00:40:19Take over from Judy, will you?

00:40:20There's a good lad

00:40:21I'll leave it out, sir

00:40:22I ain't trying to piece of shit

00:40:23Stuart

00:40:38What are you?

00:40:41What do you want?

00:40:42Is it life?

00:40:44Ah

00:40:45We are struck from the dark

00:40:48And again we expire

00:40:50Each is a spark

00:40:53Of an infinite fire

00:40:56Yes, sir

00:41:09Hawaii

00:41:09Aw

00:41:10Eirечат

00:41:10An

00:41:11log

00:41:12Is it 3ers?

00:41:12Oh

00:41:12behold

00:41:13Take over

00:41:13н

00:41:17to

00:41:19At

00:41:19I can't hear it

00:41:20I can't hear it

00:41:21It's alright, I can hear it

00:41:35All right, you lot, walk.

00:41:38Or hop or wriggle, but don't run.

00:41:47Want to hand me that?

00:41:49No, thanks.

00:41:56Come on, you two, you're spending the night.

00:41:58I can't get these off, sir.

00:42:00It's only Velcro.

00:42:01There you go.

00:42:02Thank you, sir.

00:42:12Mrs. Steele was delighted.

00:42:14She said it was the first time she'd seen Adam look happy.

00:42:17But the awful thing is, I think she meant the first time ever.

00:42:20Yeah, he was great.

00:42:22Of course, he is one of nature's little policemen.

00:42:24I just gave him a clipboard and he was half bossing and ordering.

00:42:27He loved it.

00:42:30They want to cut all this.

00:42:31Oh, yeah, well.

00:42:34Philistines.

00:42:40Well, come on, you two.

00:42:41Act like grown-ups.

00:42:46Nice, sir.

00:42:47Nice, miss.

00:42:50You sure about that?

00:43:12Roger?

00:43:13Roger?

00:43:27moonlight miles Davis and pastor it's better than Steve Davis and pastor

00:43:45will you come away with me for the weekend

00:43:56well well actually I've got a lot of marking to do this weekend and I was going to get some

00:44:01thingy to do the bathroom tiles and also I wanted to bleach a few towels you will come I didn't

00:44:08say

00:44:08that I don't know I might it's half day old Friday we could drive down and then again I might

00:44:17not we

00:44:17could drive down and maybe walk a bit or a lot

00:44:30I'd love to

00:44:41separate rooms there separate rooms separate rooms is fine

00:44:50Tony I mean it I'm being serious

00:45:16so

00:45:33I don't know.

00:45:53Where are we going, then?

00:45:54Uh-huh.

00:45:55Come on, where?

00:45:57Surprise, surprise.

00:46:01Bring us back a stick of rock, Chuck.

00:48:11Better place I know.

00:49:39like it? it's wonderful. it's such a relief. to be out of London. it's totally gorgeous

00:50:12what are you doing?

00:50:16well a habit

00:50:23no no no don't mind me you um you put your gym jams under the pillow. ah bless him

00:50:42you don't mind do you? what? separate beds. of course not

00:50:49come here

00:51:11oh you bastard don't. i want one. i really want one. please

00:51:18so

00:51:20so

00:51:25so

00:51:29so

00:51:37so

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00:51:46so

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00:53:01so

00:53:02so

00:53:15so

00:53:41so

00:53:51so

00:53:52so

00:53:53i'll try to carry you when you pass out. listen i can drink you off your perch any day. is

00:53:57that a challenge?

00:53:58yeah of sorts. anyway i'm one in front. if this weekend's a bad idea

00:54:05okay we might need a bottle of vodka

00:54:16so

00:54:24so

00:54:46so

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01:00:14so

01:00:42so

01:00:47you

01:00:49so

01:00:59what is going on

01:01:08you're in a good mood now? reasonable. I'm getting a better one.

01:01:14Right.

01:01:16Stand there.

01:01:18Now, take your jumper off. Could be fun, this.

01:01:25Right, now. Charges? No.

01:01:27Put your glasses on. Serious.

01:01:33Now put on your jacket. No, no, no, it's late.

01:01:35Do as I commando, bear of little brain.

01:01:45Got a tie? I never wear one, you know that.

01:01:49You do at school.

01:01:50You do at school.

01:02:04Right.

01:02:07I want you to go outside.

01:02:10Knock.

01:02:12And then when I say come in,

01:02:15come in,

01:02:16look at me,

01:02:18and say,

01:02:20oh my God.

01:02:22Why?

01:02:23Tell you later.

01:02:24Can't we go to bed instead?

01:02:25No.

01:02:26Great.

01:02:28Humiliation holidays in Wales can be yours.

01:02:30Shut up.

01:02:31Right, come on. Let's have a practice.

01:02:34Say, oh my God.

01:02:39Oh my God.

01:02:40It's pathetic. Do it again.

01:02:41What's more with feeling?

01:02:41Yes, that's the one.

01:02:43Oh my God.

01:02:44Better.

01:02:45Again.

01:02:48Oh my God.

01:02:49No.

01:02:50Have more panic, more fear.

01:02:54Oh my God.

01:02:56That's enough time.

01:02:57Come on.

01:02:58Outside.

01:02:58Oh my God.

01:03:00Don't give out your day job, will you?

01:03:01Come on.

01:03:09Now what?

01:03:11Knock.

01:03:12And come in when I say.

01:03:15I worry about you, you know.

01:03:19Come in.

01:03:21Oh my God.

01:03:27Thank you very much, Lawrence.

01:03:28Don't call us and we certainly won't call you.

01:03:31Available for weekly reps, summer season and bar mitzvahs.

01:03:33How was it?

01:03:34How was I?

01:03:36Shall I do it without the hump?

01:03:37Oh God.

01:03:38I'm wasted in Wales.

01:03:40Kate.

01:03:40How was it?

01:03:45Kate?

01:03:48Give me your car keys.

01:03:51Why?

01:03:52Your car keys.

01:03:53Come on.

01:03:58Kate.

01:03:59Shut up.

01:04:09Let's put your bloody seatbelt.

01:04:24What?

01:04:35I'm going to kill him.

01:04:39Us.

01:04:40Me.

01:04:49Just for one night, is it?

01:04:51Kate?

01:04:52Yes, that's right.

01:04:54I'm going to kill him.

01:04:55Haven't we met before?

01:04:56No, I don't think so.

01:04:57Yes, I've been here before.

01:04:58Could we have the room at the front, please?

01:05:00The one with the big brass bed.

01:05:02Well, I'm not sure if it's available.

01:05:05Sweetheart, are the Bailey Johnsons turning up?

01:05:07No, I'm in the councilor.

01:05:09Yes, it's free.

01:05:10Right, Tony.

01:05:11Pay Mr. Walker.

01:05:12That'll be 30 pounds, please.

01:05:16I'm sorry about this.

01:05:19I baked my own bread, you know.

01:05:22Tony!

01:05:44I have one with the left hand.

01:05:48I'm going to kill him, you know.

01:05:51I'm going to kill him.

01:05:55You keep me up in the corner.

01:05:55I'm going to kill him.

01:06:11Okay, so I'm going to kill him.

01:06:11Right. Now do it again.

01:06:17What?

01:06:22Wait.

01:06:35Hey.

01:07:06Right.

01:07:08I want you to go outside.

01:07:09Knock.

01:07:12Come in.

01:07:13Oh my God.

01:07:15And then leave.

01:07:24Tony.

01:07:28Really frightened me.

01:07:49Come in.

01:07:54Oh my God.

01:08:05No don't.

01:08:06Oh don't.

01:08:18You're out.

01:08:24Oh my God.

01:08:31Oh.

01:08:48Tony!

01:08:53Tony!

01:09:04Tony!

01:09:06Tony!

01:09:12No!

01:09:14No!

01:09:38Tony!

01:09:40Tony!

01:09:42Tony!

01:09:44Tony!

01:09:54Tony!

01:09:57Tony!

01:10:05Ah!

01:10:13Tony!

01:12:45You are my destiny.

01:12:51When you hold my hand, I understand the magic that you do.

01:13:03You're my dreams come true, my one and only you.

01:13:16Well, only you can make this change in me.

01:13:34You are my destiny.

01:13:41When you hold my hand, I understand the magic that you do.

01:13:53You're my dreams come true.

01:13:57You're my dreams come true.

01:13:58When you hold my hand, I understand the magic that you do.

01:13:58I understand the magic that you do.

01:13:58You are my dreams come true.

01:13:58You are my destiny.

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