- 10 hours ago
Celebs Go Dating Season 15 Episode 14
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Tonight!
00:02It's big and it's smooth and it's all yours.
00:05Lucinda's confidence reaches rock bottom.
00:07There is a part of me that goes,
00:09how could you possibly like me?
00:11Colleen gets an eyeful.
00:13My eyesight's terrible.
00:14How do you see me?
00:16And Gabby reaches a crossroads.
00:19He's great and I think he will make someone
00:20a really great boyfriend.
00:22He's just not right for me right now.
00:24As our celebs...
00:26Colleen...
00:27Go!
00:28Aren't you the perfect man?
00:30Dating!
00:31That was really good.
00:32But we need to do that in private.
00:35Oh, hello.
00:43Welcome to Celebs Go Dating.
00:45And it's a new day at Agency HQ,
00:47which means a host of new dating delinquents
00:50for the love legends to get their teeth stuck into.
00:53We have a whole trio of celebrities coming in today.
00:56Oh, yeah.
00:56Oh.
00:57We have lovely, lovely Gabby.
00:59Okay.
01:00Lovely Lucinda.
01:01And James.
01:02And actually, we've got a fourth celebrity.
01:03I'm going to pop over a little bit later on
01:05to see Colleen at Loose Women.
01:06Oh, perfect.
01:07You're under contract to E4 Anna,
01:09so don't get any ideas.
01:15And from a Loose Woman to a Lucinda now,
01:17as first in this morning, prowling the pavement like a panther ready to pounce,
01:21it's down under's finest maths expert, Lucinda Light.
01:26Hello, Celebrity Dating Agency.
01:28Hello, Tom.
01:29It's Lou.
01:30Oh, Miss Light.
01:33Entrez.
01:34Ain't my fault that I'm out here getting loose.
01:37Gotta blame it on the boots.
01:39Gotta blame it on my juice.
01:41Yeah.
01:42Tom Tom.
01:43Oh, this ensemble.
01:47Lucinda always brings such amazing energy.
01:51I think it's the creative in her,
01:53so I've been scanning her socials
01:55and it turns out she's something of an artist.
01:58I was obsessed with your drawings.
02:01You like them.
02:02They are amazing.
02:04Can you draw me like one of your French colours?
02:06I'm going to draw your picture.
02:07Oh, well, I have things.
02:08Well, I'll do it properly and colour it.
02:10Or you'd like me to just draw a rough one?
02:12Oh.
02:12Yes.
02:13Yes, I don't mind about all the bells and whistles.
02:15I don't mind about polish.
02:17Here we go.
02:18Can somebody get Sotheby's on hold, please?
02:21I will start with under eye first
02:23because your twinkle lingers at the base.
02:26It doesn't linger at the top.
02:28Your twinkle actually twinkles
02:31right around your aura and beyond.
02:34This is you as I see you.
02:38That actually ain't too bad, Tom.
02:40This is mine.
02:43Yeah, I'm going to be honest.
02:44I was expecting better.
02:46And so was Tom by the looks of it.
02:48PHONE RINGS
02:48Oh.
02:50Hello.
02:51Hi, team.
02:52We're ready for Lucinda.
02:53All right, darling.
02:55Mwah.
02:56Oh, I'm so pleased you're in this chat with Lucinda
03:00because last time she purged.
03:02We put her back up and I'm excited to see how she is today.
03:08PHONE RINGS
03:09Welcome in.
03:11Ah.
03:12Hello.
03:13Hello, you gorgeous ladies.
03:14Hi, darling.
03:16The last time the agent saw Lucinda,
03:18it was an emotional and revealing visit
03:20as she opened up for the first time about her insecurities.
03:23I've had a bit of body dysmorphia around science.
03:28And it's a continual journey.
03:31She was then sent off on a confidence boost in three way
03:34with spiritual anorag and Viking Damien.
03:37So I would like to see you without the makeup on.
03:41I'd like to see you without your clothes on.
03:43That is a better answer.
03:44Which meant anorag got pied.
03:47While Damien got to serve up seconds.
03:49Yamo.
03:50Mmm.
03:52I actually had a bit of a buzz with both the guys.
03:56Anorag from a more spiritual sense.
03:58We had very similar interests in self-development.
04:03But Damien was quite a vibe.
04:04So we then had dessert together.
04:07And I quite like him.
04:10He's just a cool, adventurous, curious, excited.
04:14And all his possible realm, fun.
04:17God, he sounds like you.
04:18Yeah.
04:19There's something there.
04:20Okay.
04:21Yeah.
04:22But there is a part of me that goes,
04:25and I hate to say it,
04:26how could you possibly like me?
04:29Is it true?
04:30Could it be?
04:32Are you sure?
04:32And I don't like admitting that.
04:37Oh, Lucinda, I've got chills.
04:41And they're multiplying.
04:43And that's because rocking up outside,
04:45channeling Sandy from Greece,
04:47it's Gabby looking to update the agents
04:49on a most recent date with Joelle,
04:51who fittingly ain't long out of high school himself.
04:57Hello, celebrity dating agency.
05:00Hi.
05:00Gabby.
05:00Come in.
05:02You're the one that I want.
05:04You're the one that I want.
05:06You're the one that I want.
05:08You're the one that I want.
05:09You're the one that I want.
05:10You're the one that I want.
05:12You're the one that I want.
05:13You're the one that I want.
05:14Hello, my darling.
05:15I love this partially updo.
05:25Glamorous Gabrielle, positively glowing,
05:28and today she's emitting the splendour of one of Hollywood's most hypnotic sirens.
05:34It's a little bit Monroe-esque.
05:36Actually, you're very Monroe-esque,
05:38because you've got the retrousse nose and the same eye colour.
05:41Careful, Tom.
05:42You're one compliment away from her straddling you while singing happy birthday.
05:46You are just so good for the ego.
05:48I love you for it.
05:49This is a good way to calm my central nervous system
05:51before I go into the dragons.
05:54The dragons? Wrong show, Gabs.
05:55Mind you, if you happen to own a dildo company,
05:58I'm sure Dr T would invest.
06:01Back upstairs, after opening up about never feeling good enough,
06:04the agents are keen to unpick Lucinda's sense of self-doubt.
06:08Why do you think that is?
06:09I think it's maybe just being single for a couple of years,
06:13and I don't know, I'm not sure.
06:15It might be a little bit of the maths journey,
06:17like it was literally a rejection every day, you know,
06:20and sort of trying to relate in a way with a, you know, brick wall sort of vibe.
06:26I've maybe just put up a big wall of protection around my heart.
06:32Lucinda gives off a lot of confidence, and it's wonderful.
06:35However, we are starting to really get down to the nitty-gritty now
06:39and unpack some of those layers.
06:41She has clearly been hurt in her past.
06:44So let's hope that this date with Damien
06:45will be one step in the right direction
06:48to helping her build some of that inner confidence.
06:51You are hot, you are beautiful, you are very fancied.
06:54Other people can help us, OK, build that self-esteem back, OK?
06:59But we are excited for you because you're going on a second date.
07:03But Damien, I want you to lean into the cues he gives you,
07:06and if he is showing you affection, if he is being tactile,
07:10if he is complimenting you, really notice how that feels
07:13because something or someone has shaken this
07:16at some point in your life.
07:18Grab hold of that beard and get stuck on it, honey, yeah?
07:21Get in there, get in there.
07:23Oh, my gosh.
07:25I've got to go get some Viking lingo as well.
07:28I'm gorgeous.
07:30What is a Viking lingo?
07:32I don't know, there doesn't seem to be ancient Norse
07:34on my Jewlingo app.
07:35Well, I've got to go and find out.
07:37Bye, darling.
07:41You're such a good cheerleader.
07:42Oh, thanks.
07:43Yeah.
07:43I'm right back at you, sis.
07:44You are giving her, like, a lot of these, like, validations.
07:48People that present as having all their shit together
07:51and that they don't need it are the ones that often never get it
07:54and actually do really appreciate being given it.
07:58She's a great woman.
08:01And from one great woman to another now,
08:03as Marilyn Monroe reincarnated, heads up to the Dragon's Lair
08:06to be roasted about her latest date with toy boy Joelle.
08:10Whilst Anna heads off to see Colleen on set at Loose Women.
08:17Hello.
08:19Gabby's now been on three steamy dates with toy boy Joelle,
08:23but despite the undeniable chemistry, not to mention biology,
08:27the nine-year age gap keeps biting away at our Gabs.
08:30What's on your mind?
08:32We've talked about the age thing before.
08:34That's not feeling that for us, that's living among us.
08:36I just think it's a time-of-tell situation.
08:38Wow.
08:40The main thing that we have to, like, say here is he is so sound,
08:45so lovely, was very mature, and I feel like he's got his head screwed on.
08:50But maturity is, like, not only emotional intelligence,
08:52but it's, you know, life experience for me.
08:55Because when, what I did notice in our conversations this time
08:58is that when we were comparing kind of stories about life experience,
09:03you know, it still feels very young to me, like he kept talking about uni.
09:06This isn't a him problem, it's, it's me just feeling like I can't relate to him.
09:12Also, like, realistically, financially, maturity.
09:15I just want to know when I do have kids,
09:17or when I do want to, like, maybe have a bit of time off,
09:19that I can be secure to have somebody that supports me.
09:23Did you talk about going on another date?
09:26Yeah, like, I mean, he's messaging me.
09:28Right. And when he messages you, do you message him back?
09:32Like, three days later.
09:34OK, yeah.
09:35Ooh, I get the feeling Joelle's going to be very disappointed
09:38in about three days' time.
09:40You know, he's asking to see me, and I'm kind of just, like, avoiding the questions.
09:43So that right there is the biggest indicator.
09:46Like, he's great, and I think he will make someone
09:48a really great boyfriend.
09:50It's just, he's, he's just not right for me right now.
09:54Yeah.
09:55You don't feel comfortable enough to gamble
09:57the next few years of your life to see where it goes.
10:00That is literally it.
10:02This is an important admission from Gabby.
10:04She's beginning to understand what she truly wants,
10:07so we're going to park Joelle for now
10:09and let her explore other options.
10:11This is exciting.
10:13So, we have someone new for you.
10:15Yes.
10:15Someone that we are very excited about.
10:18Gavin.
10:19Gavin.
10:20He's a multi-business owner from Ascot.
10:23Trust Dr. T to shove a random ass into a normal place now.
10:27Gavin looks nice.
10:28Yeah, I'm just excited to go out with somebody else as well.
10:32Yeah.
10:33What will you be taking from your dates with Joelle
10:37into this date with Gavin?
10:39I would like to have a little bit more depth from the get-go.
10:43I think it's great that you've made a definitive decision.
10:47You want to park the Joelle situation.
10:49Mm-hmm.
10:49You're excited about Gavin, right?
10:51Which we like.
10:52Yeah.
10:53And then, you know, the next time we see you, you know where that will be.
10:57Grease the musical?
10:58At the mixer.
11:00Another mixer?
11:01Yeah.
11:02I know.
11:02I can't believe they're letting you into another one either.
11:05Because the first time, I was thrown into the walls, but this time I'm like, okay, I'm ready.
11:12Yeah.
11:13But are they, is the question.
11:14With some of our celebrities doing better than others, a mixer is the perfect way to test new and old
11:20connections.
11:21Now, for Gabby, of course, Joelle will be there.
11:23So it'll be interesting to see how she shows up, given the fact that she just came off a date
11:28with Gavin.
11:29Have fun.
11:30Have so much fun tonight.
11:32I will do.
11:33See you.
11:33Bye.
11:33Have a great day.
11:35You gotta love Gabby.
11:37Yeah.
11:37Gabby's in a good place.
11:39I love how excited she was about Gavin.
11:42Yeah.
11:42I love how excited she is about the mixer.
11:45So this is good.
11:45We're doing our work.
11:47Yeah.
11:47Look at this.
11:48Look at that.
11:48We're winning.
11:49Yeah, all except the actually finding a partner part.
11:52But baby steps, eh, agents?
11:53Baby steps.
12:01At least one of the agents is doing something useful today, as Anna's about to arrive on her special errand,
12:06proving that when a celeb is too busy to come to us, we'll go to them.
12:10We're at the stage now with our celebrities where there is no time to waste in finding love.
12:14So I'm going to squeeze in a little consultation with Colleen and find out what exactly went down on her
12:20last date.
12:22Knock, knock.
12:24Surprise!
12:26Colleen's date with Canadian Adam started well.
12:29And you've never wanted to marry or been close to getting married.
12:33Not that much get to marry me.
12:35I'm just kidding.
12:35Yeah.
12:36Hey, what are you doing later?
12:37But he soon gave her flags as red as the maple leaf.
12:40You've got kids?
12:41No kids, no.
12:42Did you ever want kids?
12:43It's always nice when you can hand them back.
12:45You know?
12:46You know?
12:46It's like...
12:47But his jokes about who should pay the bill...
12:49So are you paying tonight?
12:51I mean, you're the celebrity after all.
12:54You're the one who are rolling in the money.
12:56Left Colleen wanting to split.
12:58Thank you so much.
12:59See you soon.
13:00So your date with Adam, so how was that?
13:03Because when we left your last agency session, you seemed really quite excited about him.
13:08Yeah.
13:08You were back on that horse.
13:09You were like, he looks nice.
13:11Yeah, I said nice face.
13:12Give me the tea.
13:14So it started off really nicely.
13:17It was very, you know, it was flowing.
13:19And then just as we started to go along, there was a few things where I thought, ooh.
13:24Like, he wouldn't talk about past relationships.
13:26He's never been married.
13:27He's not family orientated.
13:29Doesn't really know what he's doing, in a way.
13:32And so it was all adding up.
13:33And I thought, ooh, this isn't quite working.
13:35But we were still chatting.
13:36And then they brought the bill.
13:39And he said, so what are we doing about this?
13:43But it's just the way he did that straight away.
13:45And through me.
13:46And I went, oh, well, we can go halves on it if you want.
13:49And he went, well, you're the celebrity.
13:51The ball's on him.
13:52Although he does have a point.
13:54Ooh.
13:54And then watched me pay it.
13:56And then didn't even say thank you.
13:57Fucking legend.
13:59Okay.
13:59So that was the nail in the coffin for me.
14:01I thought, I don't like you.
14:03Something tells me the next guy that tries that might get a nail in the bellend.
14:17Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating.
14:20We're moseying in for an agency catch-up on his date with Dottie.
14:23It's ex-England rugby international beefcake James Askell.
14:27Does he always walk around with a rugby ball?
14:29That's like me carrying a microphone to the office.
14:31Hello, celebrity dick.
14:33It's James.
14:34Jimmy.
14:45Come in.
14:48Hello.
14:49A vision in blue.
14:52Oh, yeah.
14:52I have a gift for you.
14:53Here we go.
14:54Some classic ball innuendo incoming.
14:56Oh, I say.
14:58It's big and it's smooth and it's all yours.
15:00Isn't it beautiful?
15:02Does Tom think it's a Fabergé egg?
15:04Gosh, what a privilege it is to nuzzle my nostrils into one of James' leathery balls.
15:10The smell of the scrum still lingers on it like morning dew on an Etonian grubber.
15:17You simply must get it signed.
15:19Shall I toss it?
15:20Yes, please do.
15:21What delicate tossing.
15:22Is that all right?
15:23That was perfect tossing.
15:24Oh, my.
15:24I can't believe you actually trained with that ball.
15:26I did, yeah.
15:27In those days when you used to wrestle with a hooker before nine o'clock.
15:31Yes, yes.
15:32Or a quiet Tuesday night.
15:34There was nothing quiet about that night, Haskell.
15:36And you still owe a hundred quid, big man.
15:37I put to sexy Tom always yours, James Haskell.
15:41And a kiss.
15:42You're not going to smell it again, Tom?
15:47Back over at LWHQ, Anna's got a surprise in store for Loose Lady Colleen.
15:53Well, the dating does continue.
15:55I know.
15:55Even though you are a busy bee, I'm going to leave it completely blind for you, because
16:00we do have a gentleman ready and waiting.
16:02Oh, I'm going now.
16:03You are going?
16:03I'm going dating today.
16:04Yeah.
16:04Brilliant.
16:05Give her a break, Anna.
16:06She's just spent the morning here about Janet Street Porter's sex life.
16:09Colleen has this tendency to prejudge any of her suitors against this checklist.
16:14And the problem with this, it puts her in a negative mindset before she's even gone in
16:18on the date.
16:18So, a blind date is perfect.
16:20It keeps the slate clean, and it gives everybody a fighting chance from the off.
16:25How do you feel about that?
16:26That makes me nervous, obviously, not knowing anything.
16:30I mean, I could end up sitting at someone's table that I think is my date, and it's not.
16:34How embarrassing.
16:34Here's a tip.
16:35Sit at the table the cameras are pointing at.
16:37I'm manifesting out there.
16:39Colleen's going to come in.
16:40She's going to be beaming.
16:42She's going to be literally titty tassels.
16:45Off we go.
16:46Hand about to the rest of the Loose women.
16:47Why not?
16:48Not Julie Love, though.
16:49She's got enough pairs of her own.
16:52Back at the agency, and part man, part subwoofer James is on his way to fill in the agents
16:57about his much-anticipated latest date.
17:01James and Dottie.
17:02Yes, yes.
17:03What do you think?
17:05Seeing their potential compatibility.
17:08Like, this could be it?
17:09This could be it.
17:10Yes.
17:11Come on in.
17:12Oh, that was a soft knock.
17:13Yeah.
17:14Hello.
17:15That was very gentle.
17:16How are you doing?
17:17Gentle giant James had a peach of a date with Hottie Dottie, despite a wobbly star.
17:23There's a couple of people that I think we've got in common.
17:25Oh, God.
17:26They didn't bring in the best life.
17:28Did they not?
17:29And rather taken by Dottie's digs.
17:31She's not down with the kids here.
17:32Yeah.
17:33Also, don't say get down with.
17:37Spending time with you is such a confidence boost.
17:39He was potty about Dottie.
17:40If you don't want to do it again, I'd definitely do it again.
17:42I would like to see you again, yes.
17:44Perfect.
17:46How was the date with Dottie?
17:47Great.
17:48Really, really good.
17:49Really nice girl.
17:50Very different energy to everyone else that I dated.
17:53How so?
17:54What does that mean?
17:55So, just, like, intelligence, confidence.
17:57She didn't take any shit from me.
18:00She mugged me off a couple of times.
18:02Very funny.
18:03All the other dates I had, they were all so nice.
18:06And they were all really interesting dates and fun.
18:10But there probably wasn't that initial, like, after five minutes,
18:13OK, I want to date her again.
18:14And I had that with Dottie.
18:16Well, actually, before we go to feedback,
18:18how would you rate the date from one to ten?
18:22Eight and a half, nine?
18:23I don't think it could have got better, really.
18:24Ten springs to mind.
18:25All right.
18:26So, do you think you're a good match with James?
18:29And she said, a good match for each other.
18:33There was a lot in common, similar passions and fitness, music, life, and ambition.
18:39Oh.
18:40She said, he was less brash than I was expecting him to be.
18:46He showed a softer side, and he brought vulnerability to the conversation.
18:52James, aren't you the perfect man?
18:55You are a skillful dater.
18:58Yeah.
18:58That tells it all.
19:00The perfect man?
19:01Man, this under-promise and over-deliver thing really works.
19:11Let's hope it also applies to low expectations, too,
19:15as Colleen's arriving for her blind date with Michael.
19:23I'm quite nervous, because I've never done a completely blind date.
19:28No-one has told me anything about him.
19:30Then, in another way, it's quite good, because I've no preconceived ideas.
19:34I'm going in quite excited, actually.
19:37Right, let's have a look at him, then.
19:39Just take me where the sun's gone shot so bright
19:42What I'm looking for in a partner would be somebody who is fun, lively,
19:47kind, compassionate, energetic, good fun to be with.
19:51He seems like a nice chap.
19:52No red flags yet.
19:54So, I've been playing guitar for some time.
19:56Oh, Boylock's here's one.
19:57He's got it on his back.
19:58Should the occasion arise, it would be a pleasure to sing to her some words.
20:03He knows it's a date and not an audition, right?
20:05Oh, thank you so much.
20:07My pleasure, madam.
20:12Oh, it's very fresh.
20:14Not as fresh as the bar's open mics about to spit.
20:16Hello.
20:17I'm Colleen.
20:18Nice to meet you.
20:20Generally pleased to meet you.
20:21Oh, good to meet you.
20:22Yeah, at last.
20:25Oh, hello.
20:26I'd never go anywhere without it.
20:28Really?
20:29Must be a nightmare having a shit on a plane.
20:32Oh, how lovely.
20:33I don't even know your name.
20:35Michael.
20:36Michael.
20:37Michael Patrick.
20:38Irish.
20:39Dungannon.
20:40Oh, wow.
20:41But were you born here?
20:42I was actually born in Singapore.
20:44Oh, God.
20:46Father was in the Air Force.
20:48I've been living by him now for about 20 years.
20:50Where's that?
20:50Near Stonehenge.
20:51Yeah, yeah.
20:51Closest landmark.
20:52Yeah.
20:53Can't understand why they chose to build Stonehenge beside the main road.
20:57It's a joke, Colleen.
20:59A bad joke.
21:015,000 years ago.
21:03There we go.
21:03This could be a long afternoon.
21:06So, Wiltshire, yeah?
21:08That's miles away from me.
21:11OK, so, he's not tall.
21:13He's not dark.
21:14He lives in Wiltshire, miles away.
21:17And he's turned up with a guitar.
21:20So, I live in Staffordshire.
21:21OK.
21:22It's a beautiful countryside.
21:24Yeah.
21:24I'm just a homebody, really.
21:28OK, then.
21:29Anyone up for a sing-song?
21:37Back at the agency, Ed Chaser James is still revelling in the positive feedback he just
21:42received from his first date with Dottie.
21:44So, clearly, she wants to go on another date.
21:47I hope so.
21:49But that being said, we've got a mixer coming up.
21:51What, another one?
21:52Yeah.
21:52Another mixer coming up.
21:53We're full of surprises, James.
21:56Yes.
21:56Oh, God.
21:58Do I have to do the mixer?
21:59Because I'd like to go on another date with her without having to do the mixer.
22:02Because also, my homework, I'm top of the class, surely.
22:04It's totally up to you.
22:05But, yeah, if you want to go on another date with Dottie.
22:07I'd prefer to do that, if I'm honest with you.
22:09Yes.
22:10This is really good to see.
22:11Yeah.
22:12That was a great first date.
22:14Yes.
22:15Yeah.
22:15And it seems like the second date could potentially be even more amazing.
22:18Yeah.
22:18Yeah, I hope so.
22:19It was great to see you.
22:22Yeah.
22:22Thank you, I appreciate it.
22:23All right, see you later.
22:24Bye, bye, bye, bye.
22:26He's so lovely.
22:27He is.
22:28He's quite a golden retriever.
22:29Yeah, he is.
22:30Look at the feedback.
22:31Yeah.
22:31Very glowing.
22:32He did basically play fetch for a living, but if he could lick his own balls too, it'd
22:36have never left the house.
22:40Over on our blind date, Colleen's attempting to see past yet another self-imposed red flag
22:44with Wiltshire's very own Willie Nelson Mike.
22:47He may live hundreds of miles away, Colleen, but the man's brought a guitar to a date.
22:53Who would be your idol partner or celebrity crush?
22:57Who's my celebrity crush?
23:00Apart from Colleen Nolan.
23:02Well played, Mike.
23:04Um, Shakira.
23:07Great shout, but what are you doing with your finger?
23:09Oh, really?
23:10She's gorgeous.
23:11I nearly met George Clooney, actually.
23:13Nearly meeting him means you didn't.
23:15Come on, Colleen, cut the poor fella some slack.
23:17He's travelled all the way from Stonehenge.
23:19You see, if that's the truth, then, I shouldn't have even mentioned it.
23:23Yeah, you're trying to make me go, oh, my God, you met George Clooney, but actually,
23:26you didn't.
23:28He's dressed very smart, but it's not my usual type, and he lives so far away, and I can't
23:34be arsed.
23:34Bloody hell, Colleen.
23:35Guy Ritchie?
23:36Yeah, he's not on my list.
23:37Who is?
23:38If she says Roy Walker, you're in.
23:40It's like George Clooney, Channing Tatum, all them lot are pretty spectacular.
23:47Yeah, come on, Mike.
23:49You're going to need to up your game here.
23:51Actually, you have got amazing eyes.
23:54Two of them.
23:55Say what you see, Mike.
23:56Say what you see.
23:57That was Roy Walker for anyone under 56.
24:11Welcome back to So Let's Go Dating, where Colleen's been dreaming of a Channing Tatum type,
24:16but so far hasn't seen the magic in Mike.
24:19Do you want to come to Lourdes in the summer?
24:20I mean, we're on Lourdes.
24:21We have a trip.
24:22I play good times for his churches.
24:24She goes to Lourdes every year.
24:25No!
24:25Yeah, she's got a handmaiden, you know, to help her.
24:28So are you religious?
24:30Yes.
24:31All right.
24:32Are you?
24:33Really religious?
24:35Well, he's hardly going to go on a pilgrimage to France if he's on the fence.
24:38Totally committed.
24:38He's a Christian.
24:39You're quite laid back, really, aren't you?
24:42Here's the thing, that I also am shy.
24:45Probably grew up introverted.
24:48Oh, really?
24:49So, I don't know if the humour in that is a disguise.
24:53I do love being funny.
24:55I like to make people laugh.
24:56I like people to enjoy themselves and have a laugh.
24:59Well, feel free to make me laugh whenever you want.
25:01Meow, have that.
25:04Oh, no, I think you've broken him.
25:06He's super religious and I'm really not, so I might have just killed this on the spot.
25:13Could things get any worse?
25:16I would love to sing a song.
25:18Yes, yes, they could.
25:19But it's a big deal for me.
25:21Well, don't do it.
25:23Really, Mike, please don't.
25:24I will sing the words quietly over the table.
25:29No, you've got to be, like, really quiet.
25:32But, like, don't stand up and be bloody Elvis in the middle of a restaurant,
25:37because I will die.
25:39Hey, girl from the Emerald Isles, a precious gem amongst the stones, liquid eyes, radiant eyes.
25:53Liquid eyes?
25:53A treasured find to all who are wise.
25:59Love loves you.
26:08Love loves you.
26:17Killeen.
26:19Well, fuck me, it's only got to work.
26:21That is so nice.
26:24So beautiful.
26:25Killeen.
26:28I haven't seen a comeback like this since...
26:31Christ.
26:32I don't know, he was a pretty big one, but this is no less miraculous.
26:39Across town, finally fed up with the toy boys,
26:42Gabby's on the lookout for a bit of life experience and financial security
26:45on a first date with entrepreneur Gavin from Asgard.
26:49I'm excited for my date tonight with Gavin.
26:52I know that Gavin is substantially older than my previous date.
26:55He's 36.
26:56He's nice and tall, 6'1".
26:58And he seems to be a successful business owner, apparently.
27:01So I'm interested to know about more of that.
27:03I bet you do.
27:04Ka-ching.
27:05I don't know much about Gabby, so I'm keen to sit down and find out a bit more about her.
27:09I've been single for five years now.
27:10I think it's about time I met somebody worth my while.
27:13My pretty melody
27:15And they've got time for me
27:21Hi, how are you?
27:22Nice to meet you.
27:23Nice to meet you.
27:23Gav.
27:24Nice to meet you, Gav.
27:25Can I meet you soon?
27:26Well, thank you so much.
27:27Nicely done, Gavlar.
27:28This ain't his first rodeo.
27:30How are you?
27:31I'm good, thank you.
27:32How are you?
27:32I'm very well, darling.
27:33Yes, thank you.
27:36Thanks so much, Pete.
27:37You look fabulous, by the way.
27:39A gorge.
27:39Are you excited to be here?
27:41I am, yeah.
27:42You said that I saw your little brief bio thing today.
27:45Oh, did you see it today?
27:46One of the main things for me is where people are at in their lives and, like, the life experience
27:52and what they do.
27:54Yeah, that's what I mean, I've got four businesses, so I'm like...
27:56What are they?
27:57She ain't messing about.
27:58We're going to need the full LinkedIn bios, please.
28:00So I've got one's a tree surgery company.
28:02Okay.
28:02So I started up a landscaping company, doing, like, landscaping.
28:05Oh, my God, it needs doing.
28:06Yeah, yeah?
28:07Yeah.
28:07I do now want to start up a fragrance company.
28:09I want to do something, like, with aftershaves and perfumes and things.
28:12That's cool.
28:13Yeah, I was a bit of a naughty boy in school, so I had to sort of work for myself
28:19and do my own things.
28:20I've got no GCSEs or...
28:21Yeah, but you don't need them.
28:22Like, look at you, you've got four businesses, it doesn't matter.
28:25He's self-made, he's got really great values.
28:28He's clearly got his shit together, and I do find that attractive.
28:33What are you like in a relationship?
28:34Jesus, you'll be asking him to do a swab test next.
28:38Supportive, fun.
28:40I'm very much...
28:41I love to be a provider, you know what I mean?
28:43It's my job as a man, I look at it, is to provide, to make sure you're all right, you
28:48know what I mean?
28:49Smoothly done.
28:50Keep this up, and Gabby will be having you sorting out her back garden in no time.
29:00Meanwhile, across town, Lucinda's branching into new territory
29:03on a second date at an axe-throwing bowl with real-life Viking Damien,
29:07who also owns an axe arena.
29:09She might as well be going bowling with the Big Lebowski.
29:11Do you know what? I'm really excited to see Damien, the Viking.
29:14There was a little bit of a vibe last time, a bit of chemistry,
29:18and I just want to sort of explore that a bit more.
29:22I'm looking forward to more times and more chat,
29:24and we're doing some axe-throwing, which is my thing,
29:25so I'm hoping I can impress, and I hope we're going to have a great time.
29:28This is my time now, and I'm really hoping
29:30we're going to have an even better date this time around.
29:34Yay!
29:35Hello.
29:36Hi.
29:37How are you?
29:38How are you?
29:39I'm excited.
29:39Good.
29:40I'm nervous. How are you?
29:41Thank you. I'm a bit nervous, too.
29:43Excited, nervous?
29:44You're going to be really good at this and kick my bath.
29:46Would you like that, or would you like me to give you a chance?
29:47I want you to kick my bath.
29:50Crikey.
29:50No small talk, straight into the role play.
29:53Lucinda means business.
29:54I'm touchy-feely.
29:55I love it.
29:56Hot diggity-damned, Damo.
29:58You're looking hot tonight, and there's something really sexy about a guy taking charge that
30:03really knows what they're doing.
30:05You can teach me how to wax through.
30:10So much pressure, but I got one in.
30:12That is a bit sexy that you've got a bullseye straight up.
30:17This is all you need.
30:18A bit of practice.
30:19Here we go.
30:21I know.
30:21I'm about to take turn the building.
30:23I don't think you'd have any complaints from Damo.
30:25He owns the competition.
30:26Keep going.
30:27Keep going.
30:27No one's keeping score.
30:29Come on, Luc.
30:30You can do this.
30:32All right, stand back.
30:33Let ZZ Chop show you how it's done.
30:40Oh!
30:41Straight in the sweet spot.
30:42Right.
30:43I think this is the last throw.
30:44I believe in you.
30:45Come on.
30:46Oh.
30:46Do exactly what you did last time.
30:48Yeah.
30:49It was quite casual.
30:49Remember, you were a little bit further up.
30:50Further back.
30:51That's it.
30:53Absolute silence from the crowd.
30:55Oh, she's gone two-handed.
30:56If she misses this, we can say goodbye to the deposit.
30:59Yes!
31:00We got it.
31:01Love it.
31:01Feels good, right?
31:02I don't.
31:03Does it feel good?
31:04Damo's just glad to still have his head attached to his shoulders.
31:07Either way, Lucinda seems to be liking her Viking.
31:13Back at the classier end of town,
31:15with Colleen's blind date looking dead and buried.
31:18Her cut price for Clooney busted out the sixth string,
31:20and it's putting right back in the game.
31:23So what are you looking for?
31:25I would love to find somebody to spend the rest of my life with.
31:31A companion to be happy with.
31:33Just that one.
31:34The one that, at the end of the day,
31:35if you're having a bad day or even a good day,
31:38you go home and you just get a hug off them and think,
31:41oh, it's all.
31:42And they go, it's going to be fine.
31:44Yeah, yeah.
31:44We're together.
31:45My only red flag is just the distance.
31:48I was in Stoke to Wiltshire, yeah.
31:50Ah.
31:51It doesn't bother me.
31:52And for me as well,
31:53it's like that special person,
31:54even if they're not physically,
31:56they're there, as you can say,
31:57they're there, yeah.
31:57They're at the end of bone or whatever.
32:02I really would love to see you again
32:04and get to know that, honest to God,
32:05but you don't know whether I'm being serious.
32:10So, try this one on for size.
32:12God, not another song, Mike.
32:14Quit whilst you're ahead.
32:15In a different sort of a way.
32:17Oh, there you are.
32:18Oh, there you are.
32:19Oh, for fuck's sake.
32:20I bet they love him at a prayer group.
32:22My eyesight's terrible.
32:24Would you...
32:28Oh, my God.
32:29Would you see me again?
32:31How do you see me?
32:32I'm not answering those stupid things on.
32:37Let me try them on.
32:38Oh, I was so hoping you would say that.
32:43I like the fact that they blink.
32:45Yes.
32:47Never mind liquid eyes,
32:48they look radioactive.
32:50Do you see me?
32:51They suit you.
32:53They actually do.
32:54They're genius.
32:55I've never seen any like that before.
32:56I mean, how can I resist?
32:58So, on paper,
32:59Mike isn't normally the type I would go for,
33:01but he's really unique and so entertaining.
33:05And, yes,
33:06he lives far away,
33:08but it's really hard not to like him.
33:11Yes, Killeen,
33:12she's changed her tune.
33:13Oh, shit.
33:14Moment of truth.
33:15Here comes the bill.
33:16Sink or swim, Mikey.
33:17Oh, yeah.
33:19I think I'll get a cheeky thing.
33:20Everything all right?
33:21It was perfect.
33:22Do you want to?
33:24No, no, I've got it,
33:25but let me...
33:25Are you sure?
33:26Yes.
33:27Go on, Mike.
33:27He's picking up the whole tab
33:29and he's up to date with his tech.
33:31This guy's getting more of a catch by the second.
33:33Trust me, we're going in.
33:35This might take a while.
33:36It's all good.
33:37Bless you.
33:38Thanks very much.
33:39Wonderful service.
33:40It's a restaurant, Mike,
33:41not a Holy Communion.
33:42Well, I have had a lovely, lovely afternoon.
33:44Thank you very much.
33:45Same.
33:46Fantastic.
33:46Really enjoyed it.
33:49And hopefully we'll get to meet again.
33:51Yes, I would love to see you again, definitely.
33:53Yeah, definitely.
33:55Definitely.
33:56Yes, please.
34:01Oh, okay.
34:03You know you did it.
34:04That's what you did.
34:04Yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:11I've started off thinking,
34:12oh, this is going to be a disaster again,
34:14and thinking I've really enjoyed myself
34:17and there's just something about him
34:19that I really like.
34:20Bring the glasses next time.
34:21Yeah, they're the thing that drew me in.
34:24And then to end the date,
34:26he paid the bloody bill.
34:28Woo-hoo!
34:29Bye.
34:30It was fantastic.
34:32Wonderful lady, fantastic occasion.
34:34I would absolutely love to see Colleen again anytime.
34:37And I got a kiss at the end,
34:39a cheeky little kiss.
34:41I'm walking away
34:43with a little spark
34:46in my stomach.
34:47Well, as long as it's not
34:48a dodgy chicken al forno,
34:50we have got a result for Colleen.
34:54Meanwhile, back over with Gab,
34:56so far things seem to be heading
34:57in a positive direction
34:58with tree-trimming tycoon Gavin.
35:01Great.
35:03Yeah, I might have to bang
35:04my glasses on him, innit?
35:05Shit, he's not got a pair
35:06of goggly eyes and all, has he?
35:07Yeah.
35:08Oh, my God.
35:08What, so, are you long-sighted, short-sighted?
35:11Oh, I can see you.
35:12Oh, that's good.
35:13Yeah, thanks, Mark.
35:14You ready?
35:17Uh...
35:18No.
35:19It's true.
35:19That bad?
35:20No, they look good.
35:22Let's see.
35:23No, no, no, don't.
35:24Now it would make me feel silly.
35:26Yeah, they don't even have strings
35:27that make them blink.
35:28You must feel like a right plonker, mate.
35:29Gavin ticks a lot of boxes.
35:31I just don't have the same initial attraction
35:33like I had with Joelle.
35:35However, the maturity levels are there.
35:36It's the first proper adult date
35:40that I've had
35:40and I'm enjoying it.
35:42What's your favourite cuisine?
35:44I would say...
35:46Italian.
35:47Pasta.
35:48Yeah, Italian or, like, steak.
35:50I love pasta as well.
35:51I just can't eat a lot of it
35:52because I just balloon sticks to me.
35:55Chicken.
35:56It's not good for me.
35:57Really?
35:59Yeah.
36:00I try not to eat it.
36:01Blimey, this is a grown-up date.
36:03Next, they'll be sharing tips
36:04on heartburn and acid reflux.
36:11Back at the all-action date
36:12and with Damo proving to Lucinda
36:14he can handle his tool,
36:15they've decided to axe the axe-throwing
36:17in favour of a more casual drink
36:19at the nearest booze-up.
36:25You've got so many strings to your bow,
36:28if you like, you know,
36:28all the different things that you do.
36:31Celebrant, speaker, reality star show,
36:34you know, dating guru, dating host,
36:36all these things.
36:36Yeah, all right, mate,
36:37we all know how to use Wikipedia.
36:39But what does that have to be one thing
36:40or the one thing?
36:41What is that?
36:42Just to love.
36:43Just to love?
36:44Yeah.
36:44I think I'm just...
36:46I'm just a big lover.
36:48I just want to love.
36:49I think life is so much more fun with two.
36:52I mean, I think I say yes to all the inventions
36:55because, obviously, I'm a bit single.
36:58You know, kind of...
36:59A bit of single or a lot of single?
37:01A little bit.
37:02A little bit of single.
37:02Right, no, that is fair.
37:04This is feeling good.
37:05The chat's easy.
37:06I like his vibe.
37:08There's something there.
37:09I just need to figure out if Damo's into me.
37:12What are you looking for in a woman?
37:14What's your vibe?
37:15What am I looking for in a woman?
37:17Yeah, what's your ideal cheeky babe?
37:20Me.
37:21Mm.
37:22Everything that you are.
37:23Me and a woman.
37:26Me and a woman.
37:27Come on loose.
37:28He's talking about his willy.
37:30What do you mean?
37:31Me.
37:32What do I see in you?
37:34Me.
37:34Nothing like having to explain a joke three times
37:36to kill your boner, eh, Damo?
37:39It's over your head, don't panic.
37:41It must have a big one if it's gone over our head.
37:59Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating
38:00where Gabs is out exploring uncharted waters.
38:03She's on a date with a man who is older than she is.
38:07Have you been in any other long-term relationships before?
38:10Yeah, so I was in an 11-year relationship.
38:1311 years?
38:14Yeah.
38:14Oh, my God.
38:15Oh, my God.
38:15Um, got a hair.
38:17So I've got three kids.
38:18Do you have?
38:19Yeah.
38:19Whatever you do, don't speak your food out.
38:21Yeah, I've got three kids.
38:22That's all.
38:22I've got 11 years.
38:23Okay.
38:24This is very forward.
38:25But would you want more kids?
38:28Bloody hell.
38:28Don't hold back, Gabs.
38:34Yeah, I've always said I'd be open to more.
38:36Oh, really?
38:36Yeah.
38:38Gavin's got three kids, and that's kind of thrown me a little bit.
38:40But he is open to having more.
38:42On paper, he's everything that I think that I want,
38:45but I just don't know.
38:46I think, like, the fact that you've been in a long,
38:48like, a very long-term relationship is, like, a good green flag,
38:51because it means that, like, I mean, you've got three kids
38:53with someone that you've been with for 11 years,
38:55and that's a huge commitment anyway.
38:56Yeah.
38:56Like, now when I've been dating,
38:58I've been very much led by sexual chemistry,
39:01because people are hot.
39:03So having these kind of conversations,
39:05it gives you that, I already thought you were attractive,
39:08but then having the opportunity to get to know you,
39:10I'm like, okay, yeah, this is good.
39:11Yeah.
39:11You know?
39:12And then we're, like, maturity level, you know what I mean?
39:14And, yeah, you've got, I feel like you're very interesting,
39:17and you've got a lot of...
39:19I feel like you've just got a lot of experience.
39:21Yeah.
39:21With life.
39:22Yeah.
39:23Yeah.
39:29Meanwhile, back at the boozer,
39:30Lucinda needs to tap into something special,
39:32issues to avoid the chat,
39:34with Axeman Damo drying up.
39:39Do you enjoy your English beer?
39:41It's, you know, it's all right.
39:42I haven't had a beer for a long time, though.
39:44I just thought, you know, when in Rome...
39:47What's she looking around for?
39:48The Trevi Fountain?
39:49I do plan to go to Rome this year, actually.
39:51Do you?
39:52Do you know my parents were married in Rome?
39:54Really?
39:54They were married at the Vatican.
39:56If I did know that, would that be weird?
39:58Yeah.
39:59Just a little bit.
40:03Um.
40:06Shot of limoncello, anyone?
40:10It feels like it's flat-lined a bit, and, you know,
40:13when we get to these moments, I do wonder if it's me.
40:17I know I am a bit of an acquired taste.
40:19I'm going to really have to pull one out of the hat here.
40:23Should we play a game?
40:24Yes.
40:25What do you want to play?
40:27What would be a fun game?
40:29Mousetrap?
40:30Boggle?
40:31Buckaroo?
40:32An eye-gazing.
40:35Am I being therapised?
40:37No.
40:37Very pleased.
40:38OK, it's just an eye-gazing.
40:40It's called Transfiguration.
40:42Tantra.
40:43Hello, straight out of the Kama Sutra.
40:45And no talking.
40:46What are you doing now?
40:47It's just talking.
40:49What?
40:49Is that it?
40:50They've just got to stare at each other?
40:52Sod this, I'm going for a piss, then.
41:02Jesus, are they still going?
41:04If they've gone full tantra, we could be here for hours.
41:08Best leave them to it and see how our Gabs is getting on with garden mower mogul, Gavin.
41:13Seemingly the mature man she's after, but so far he's yet to cultivate any chemistry.
41:18Am I your type?
41:21Very much.
41:21I love your eyes.
41:23I'm big on eyes and a smile.
41:25And again, it's your personality that attracts me more.
41:30This is good, mate.
41:31Keep laying down that groundwork.
41:33Visual, you're like, yes.
41:34You're into the gym.
41:35You've got lovely teeth, lovely smile.
41:38Keep them coming, you green-fingered Romeo.
41:41You're career-driven.
41:42That initial attraction is eyes.
41:45I'm very attracted to you.
41:47Mentally, visually.
41:48Mentally?
41:53What's the matter, Gabs?
41:54Don't fancy returning the compliment?
41:58I've tried to find a spot with Gavin, but when he says how much he likes me, I've realised
42:03that I just don't feel the same.
42:04So, I'm going to have to find an excuse and call it a night.
42:08I'm so tired.
42:11Brutal.
42:11But at his age, I'm sure he'll understand.
42:14The great Pottery Frodo is about to start anyway.
42:16Thank you so much for dinner.
42:18You're welcome, babes.
42:19Hopefully we get a date too.
42:21How's she going to get out of this one?
42:22I can't even believe where the time's gone, to be honest.
42:25Answer an entirely different question.
42:28Crafty.
42:28Well, let's go.
42:31I love the conversation with Gavin tonight, but I don't know if there's a spark there.
42:36Yeah, the yawn in the face would indicate there wasn't.
42:39And I don't know if I have time to lose here, to go on a second date.
42:43You don't have time.
42:44This bloke's got four businesses to run and three kids.
42:47Did you have a nice time?
42:48I had a lovely time.
42:48Did you?
42:49Yeah, I did.
42:49It was so nice to meet you.
42:50I feel like you're such a nice person.
42:53And I feel the same with you.
42:54I feel like we're very compatible.
42:56Yeah, it was lovely to meet you.
42:57You too.
42:58I'll look forward.
42:59Go on.
42:59See you again on date two.
43:02See you soon, babe.
43:02Somehow she's managed to dodge it again.
43:05See you soon.
43:06See you soon.
43:06Bye now.
43:06Bye, bye, bye.
43:08Yeah, I had a really good time.
43:09I really enjoyed it.
43:11Walking out with massive smile on me face.
43:14I feel like he would be a good partner.
43:16However, it's lacking the chemistry that I had with Joelle.
43:20I wish I could just blend them both together.
43:23Hang on, let me just chuck that into chat GPT.
43:25We want a sexy beefcake gardener.
43:28Uh, it's giving me Charlie Dimmock.
43:36Time to head back to the pub to see if Lucinda and Damo's tantric stare-off has conjured up any
43:41chemistry for our confidence boost needing Aussie.
43:44Bloody hell, they're still going.
43:47Hmm.
43:48Could have gone for a dump as well.
43:53Their eyes will look like Colleen State's glasses in a minute.
44:03I'm going to have to stop that, man.
44:04Oh, God.
44:05I think you've blown it, Lucinda.
44:08That was really good, but we need to do that in private.
44:11Or has she?
44:13It's a new distraction.
44:15I know.
44:18Hello.
44:19The Vikings going in for a pillage.
44:38Come on, let's go.
44:39All right.
44:40Let's go.
44:42He's quite a divine kisser.
44:44He's quite delicious.
44:46I think he's delightful, lovely, smiling eyes.
44:48And he's just quite multidimensional.
44:52There's some little embers flicking again.
44:55Oh.
44:56Right.
44:57What a lovely night.
44:59Yes.
45:00We say goodbye now, right?
45:05It has gone really well.
45:07I've shown her I can chuck an axe and I can move my mouth, as it were.
45:12Viking checklist complete.
45:14Just got to set fire to the pub now.
45:16Yeah, I'm hoping there'll be another day.
45:17And, um, yeah, and we'll see where it goes from there.
45:20Yeah.
45:25Oh.
45:27Until next time.
45:29As I'm going on this dating journey, I am giving myself permission to feel again and be
45:36close to the dating game again.
45:39And I enjoy that.
45:42Ah, good on you, Luc.
45:43The agents will be proud.
45:44I feel like I swear.
45:45No.
45:46You hang on.
45:47No, you hang on.
45:48No, you hang on.
45:49No, you hang on.
45:49Oh, God.
45:50If this is a tantric goodbye, then we'd better check the Uber driver's brought his PJs.
45:59Tomorrow night, it's the return of the mixer.
46:02Or as Anna likes to call it.
46:04Stixer.
46:04Oh, a Stixer.
46:06A Stixer.
46:06But not before she gives ladies' man PK a right royal bollockin'.
46:10Don't be a fuckboy.
46:12And a big decision proves too much for Gabby.
46:14I'm going to go to the bathroom.
46:16Yeah, I'm going to go to the bathroom.
46:17I'm going to go to the bathroom.
46:17As our celebs.
46:19Abracadabra, what's this?
46:20He just said abracadabra.
46:21I'm obsessed with that.
46:22Go.
46:23Is there anybody gay here?
46:26Dating.
46:26I'm in love.
46:27Oh, no.
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