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00:05What are you two kids doing?
00:06Are you getting on?
00:08Are you becoming best friends?
00:09Are you becoming friends now?
00:12Hopefully.
00:12Oh look, no, this is so sweet.
00:16Okay.
00:17That didn't work.
00:18That'll be enough of that.
00:24Have you ever done a while like that?
00:26Well I actually knew if I had.
00:30Oh, Barcelona.
00:33No, I don't like that this guy's trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
00:36A what?
00:37Foot fetish.
00:38I had no idea that was a thing.
00:40Remove my britches, expose your loins.
00:42I like that.
00:46Oh, Ronnie.
00:47This is weird.
00:48Jeez, he's a mercenary bugger, isn't he?
00:50This is why I don't date.
00:51That is Dyson with the devil.
00:53Oh, no.
00:54He suffers for his art, doesn't he?
00:56Clearly.
00:56A Bentley Continental.
00:58I think I'd rather call it a day, Natalie, wouldn't you?
01:01Who's been arrested now and for what?
01:05In the week Sir David Attenborough celebrated his 100th birthday, we enjoyed lots of great
01:12telly.
01:14Channel 4 had handy hacks from Mr Oliver.
01:17Just grab yourself some rosemary, thyme or sage, make a little herb brush.
01:22That's fun.
01:23Wow.
01:23A herb brush.
01:25A herb brush.
01:26Yeah.
01:26Okay.
01:27So next time the police stop you, you can tell them, it's a herb, it's a herb, bro.
01:32Half his size is my herb, bro.
01:35They were trying out chat-up lines on E4.
01:39How old are you?
01:4031.
01:41Why do I always get the young ones?
01:42I like it.
01:43So what do you think is flirting?
01:45Because you're flirty, but you're also not a very tactile person.
01:49Yeah.
01:50So flirty doesn't involve being tactile.
01:56Truth of the matter is, I had a lot of sex appeal.
01:59I know I did because that was my problem, really.
02:04And BBC2 had Michael Portillo back on track.
02:08I'm returning to Seoul City Centre and next to the modern main railway station.
02:13Do you know what I always find crazy is that there's always pigeons in a train station.
02:18Yeah, but they love it.
02:20Why?
02:20That is like their wine bar.
02:30In home...
02:31I'll just have to ring Ray.
02:33Why?
02:33He's cutting his hair.
02:34He's cutting his own hair?
02:36Get him on the phone.
02:37Hello.
02:38Hi, Jen.
02:39Hiya, love.
02:40Have you done your hair yet?
02:42Yeah.
02:42Best friends Jenny and Lee.
02:45I've got some tubs at the bottom, but I can't get them out.
02:48You'll have to do it.
02:50Ray, I won't let her near him.
02:52I won't let her...
02:52Ray, I won't let her near it.
02:54You'll just have to stand with your back to the wall so nobody can see it.
02:57No, I'll put me collar on.
03:03On Tuesday night, our favourite chap in chinos was on the rails again on BBC2.
03:10Portillo.
03:10Oh, Portillo.
03:11Do you know Michael Portillo?
03:12Yeah, he wears those nice trousers.
03:14Do you know that Auntie Margaret watches Michael Portillo repeats?
03:18I know.
03:18All the time?
03:19Yes.
03:20And when they go round, she pauses it?
03:22Yeah.
03:22Don't want you talking while Michael's on.
03:24No, she doesn't.
03:26South Korea.
03:27By rail.
03:28The country you don't know a lot about Korea.
03:30No, me.
03:31I'd be much more comfortable in South Korea than North Korea.
03:34Oh, yeah.
03:36These trains are capable of more than 200 MPH.
03:40It's like your M62, that.
03:42Well, you wouldn't see now, would you?
03:44200 mile an hour.
03:47The opportunity to explore one of the world's most successful countries.
03:52I've actually never been to Asia, and I'd love to go.
03:56To Asia at all?
03:57I've never been to Asia.
03:58Oh, my God.
03:59I've been to Thailand ten times.
04:01Creepy.
04:03I actually saw him near the ice cream shack at the top of town.
04:07Did you?
04:08Yeah.
04:08Yeah.
04:09What was he doing?
04:10Having an ice cream.
04:11Nice.
04:11You know, back in the old days, Amani, when I used to be into K-pop, like, way more than
04:16I am now.
04:17Yeah, you had your K-pop club as well.
04:19Yeah, I had my K-pop club.
04:20I had my K-drama club as well.
04:22There were two different things, even though people thought it was the same thing.
04:25I would make them sign up to different things, you know, just so I can keep it going, the momentum.
04:29I got so many people into it, honestly.
04:32Like, it was a cult for me.
04:34Yeah, you took it too seriously.
04:35It was like a cult for me, and I was their leader.
04:38In the programme, Michael had made it all the way to Seoul, and the headquarters of tech giant Samsung.
04:45The company's latest gadgets and innovations are tested in a full-size model smart home.
04:52Come on, I'm into this already.
04:54I know.
04:55What?
04:56We got smart light bulbs.
04:57It was the worst thing I ever did.
04:58I got them taken down.
04:59I'm taking a tour with manager Tay Lee.
05:03Well, that's smart.
05:05Thumpering at the door.
05:07Save you losing your keys all the time, wouldn't it?
05:10So, the home knows that I'm home, and I like it nice and bright in my home when I arrive,
05:15so the curtains will open.
05:16Come on!
05:18This is your dream, isn't it?
05:20Isn't it?
05:21I don't...
05:22I hate opening curtains.
05:24How you pull them off.
05:26So, these devices that are connected, they connect with each other, and they communicate.
05:30I could have a conversation with all my furniture.
05:33You do now?
05:34Could I?
05:34Because you talk to my fucking wardrobes.
05:36My worry is that they might all suddenly want to attack you.
05:40So, pin you to the ground and suffocate you.
05:43This is a refrigerator, but looking more like a television than a fridge.
05:48What?
05:48So, you can do everything you can with a tablet, for example.
05:52Like I'm going to stand at the front of the fridge, typing up an email.
05:55That's the date.
05:55Hey, that's it.
05:56Yeah, I'm just sent from my fridge.
05:59It just doesn't work, does it?
06:01What?
06:03Watch even movies here.
06:05Why would you want to...
06:05Shh, shh, shh.
06:06Who's going to go and stand at the fridge and watch a film?
06:08It's just, I guess, if you were watching a film on your sofa and you thought, I'll go to the
06:13fridge, they would start showing the same film.
06:15And the toaster would come towards me and electrocute me.
06:18In the fridge, we have a camera built in.
06:22What?
06:23And it will manage what you have inside your fridge for you.
06:26The fridge is going to judge you.
06:27Are you bothered about what a fridge thinks?
06:29When somebody hacks it and you're there at three in the morning where you're not banging out, getting a block
06:33of cheese.
06:34They've got you.
06:35It hangs their eyes.
06:36It will give me a recipe recommendation based on what I like.
06:39That is insane.
06:40Well, it's not going to make much with the one apple and a few grapes in there, is it?
06:43Yeah, it's going to say, you should go takeaway.
06:46Yeah.
06:46As well as suggesting what you might enjoy for lunch, the smart house can help you to cook it.
06:52Ideal.
06:54Fucking ideal.
06:55I think this is a very good recipe to start with.
06:58Hang on a minute, it's cooking pot noodle.
07:00We're cooking pot noodles.
07:02I'm going to hand you my phone.
07:03All you need to do is scan the barcode right here.
07:07I do that with my Slimming World app.
07:09Tells me how many swips.
07:11Tap on the phone where it says send to order purifier.
07:14This is bloody clever, isn't it?
07:16That time you've fannied on your phone doing all this, you could have just actually cooked your noodles.
07:24Place it here.
07:25Just push down on the lever.
07:27I thought it was going to have a sensor on that tap.
07:29You put it under and the water comes out.
07:31I haven't got time to be pressing buttons.
07:33So you don't have to worry about how much water you need to add for this recipe.
07:37It will automatically do it for you.
07:38Oh, I do like that.
07:40That is insane.
07:42You've got a jug in the kitchen for that.
07:45I bet I cut about four million Gwyndux up.
07:47Oh, shut up.
07:52Smells great.
07:53Say goodbye to overcooked noodles.
07:57Oh, look at them chopsticks.
07:59They're a bit fancy, aren't they?
08:01It's been great to cook with you, Tay, and with your wonderful new technology.
08:05My pleasure.
08:06Like, even I could make a pot noodle.
08:07Jesus Christ.
08:09What's going to happen in another two generations?
08:13What's going to happen?
08:14You're going to be marrying robots to see who can do the best grub.
08:18You won't have to bother, love.
08:19No, I won't.
08:20I'm glad I won't.
08:20I can't guarantee that if I was to then get the noodles out of the pan, I wouldn't be having
08:25to get me bachelor to scrape the noodle off the bottom of the pan.
08:29Your bachelor.
08:31What's it called, the thing with the...
08:33A spatula.
08:41A fucking bachelor.
08:48In Wiltshire...
08:49I think my birthday's been and gone nutty, but I think I may have found my metier as a children's
08:55entertainer.
08:56Who bought you that balloon kit?
08:58Something frightening about it.
09:00I think it's terrifying.
09:01Giles and his wife, Mary.
09:04Oh, my goodness, Mary.
09:06That's amazing.
09:07I've never had anything like this.
09:08It's given me more satisfaction than anything, almost anything else.
09:12On my birthday, apart from that lovely Pollock.
09:15On Wednesday night, the Maffs newlyweds were facing their final task of the experiment on E4.
09:22OK, let's have a look at the attention seekers.
09:24Maths Australia, what's been going on? Are you up to date?
09:28Oh, I'm absolutely loving it. Bowls deep in maths.
09:32During the matchmaking process, there was more than one person that our participants were compatible with.
09:38This is when they put in the people they might have matched with.
09:41The tempts.
09:41Yeah, the temptresses.
09:43The participants' alternate matches joined the boys and girls for a special lunch.
09:48I love a little this is what you could have had moments on these kind of shows.
09:52Scott and David refused to participate.
09:56Oh, why? They decided not to participate.
09:58Boring bastards.
09:59Abby.
10:00I mean, it's all right to have a little chat. It's not that deep. You're not cheating, are you?
10:04Just because you've already chosen what you're eating doesn't mean you can't still look at the menu.
10:08No.
10:08As Alyssa got curious about her match.
10:11Do you have any tattoos?
10:12I can't show you where though.
10:13Do you want to drop your pants?
10:15Oh!
10:17It's never a good sign when one walks away from the temptation and the other one is going, why don't
10:23you drop your pants?
10:24Alarm bells.
10:28What would Nat actually do if you did flirt with someone else? I actually don't think he'd even do anything.
10:34Oh, exactly.
10:35He's like, he and me have her.
10:37Yeah?
10:38She's a fucking nightmare.
10:40Wow. There's a letter and there's two flipping iPads.
10:44Okay, well, I'm definitely watching something.
10:46Do you think they're going to watch how it all went?
10:48Yeah, of course they are. Of course they are. They're not going to watch Emmerdale, are they?
10:53Take an iPad and watch the video separately. Then come back together to debrief.
10:58Oh, brutal.
11:00Well, this could be a right old rouse, Simon. I love it.
11:04There's nothing wrong with networking with people.
11:07Networking.
11:07Get your pants off.
11:08Get your pants off.
11:10That's one way of putting it, isn't it?
11:12She's really branded flirting as networking.
11:15Yeah, I like her style.
11:16As David heads to the bedroom, Alyssa begins watching back how the grooms went at the final test.
11:24Well, her video's going to be short, isn't it?
11:25Yeah.
11:26All you're going to hear is David crying in the bedroom.
11:29You know, it's lovely to meet you, but I don't feel like I can't engage. You know what I'm saying?
11:34Like, I'm strapped.
11:35Oh, fair play. Yeah, David said he's strapped up.
11:37Yeah, he had to tap out or he was going to get in trouble.
11:40Yeah.
11:40I'd expect nothing more from you, Steve.
11:43I wouldn't have even gone in there.
11:45Well, I'm pleased you said that.
11:47Oh, my God.
11:50Oh, he's logging in now.
11:51Press play.
11:52He is not going to be happy.
11:55Instagram's greener.
11:57What did she say?
11:59Instagram's greener.
12:01Already?
12:01Oh, my God.
12:02She's like, oh, my God.
12:03Less experiment.
12:06Oh, God.
12:08Oh, he didn't like that.
12:09David didn't like that comment.
12:11Welcome.
12:12How are we all?
12:13Hi.
12:14I thought I'm married at first sight.
12:15This is Victoria's secret.
12:16Oh, he's a charmer.
12:17He's got his line.
12:18That was so cringe.
12:19That really was.
12:20That was so cringe.
12:22I bet she was like, oh, my God.
12:24How old are you?
12:2531.
12:26Why do I always get the young ones?
12:27I like it.
12:28Alyssa's flirting.
12:29No, she's not working.
12:32What's your star sign?
12:34Oh, he'll have steam coming out of his ears.
12:36Now, shortly, Dave, you can see it coming off.
12:38Do you have any tattoos?
12:39Yeah, I can't show you where that.
12:40Whereabouts?
12:41Is it on your arse?
12:42Drop your pants?
12:43Yeah.
12:43Oh, wow.
12:45Drop your pants.
12:47You don't even know how to drink it.
12:48Let me do some squats first so it looks like...
12:50Is it on your arse?
12:51David's not laughing or smiling.
12:53He ain't finding his funny.
12:54What's the matter with him?
12:55It's just fun.
12:56It's just a joke.
12:59Are you done?
13:00Oh, aye.
13:01I'm done.
13:02I'm well done, lady.
13:04Stick your fork in me.
13:05I'm done.
13:06I think that was hilarious.
13:07But I was also like, why did you just leave?
13:10Like, why did you walk away?
13:11Why did you walk away?
13:12Because now I've got nothing to pull you up off.
13:14Yeah.
13:14I can't even rip you, Lim, from Lim,
13:16because you've done the right thing.
13:17You've done the honourable thing.
13:18Did you know that it was to find out
13:21whether the grass was greener?
13:23Yeah, of course.
13:23She cheesed to it.
13:24She knows exactly what she was doing.
13:26Those guys walked in and said what they were here for,
13:28so I know it was a networking event.
13:30I'm not saying it's networking.
13:32I'm saying it's treat it like
13:33when you go to events and talk to people.
13:35When you asked him what his star sign was.
13:36Oh, not the star sign.
13:38Take my eyes, but don't find out his star sign.
13:41That's where you draw the line.
13:42Yeah.
13:42She found out his star sign, for God's sake.
13:45You know, you made the joke about drop your jocks.
13:48Drop your jocks.
13:50It's a joke, man.
13:51I get that, but, like, you know, to hear that and then you...
13:54Lighten up, David.
13:56Lighten up, David.
13:57I see telling someone to lighten up in that mood.
14:00That's not going to work, honey.
14:01Fue to the fire.
14:02Oh, my God.
14:03I'm just lighting up.
14:04Lighten up.
14:05I don't want to even continue this conversation.
14:07I'm just going to walk out,
14:08because that's how I feel.
14:09Oh, the flowers.
14:11Always walking out.
14:12Oh, shit, men.
14:14You're done?
14:16Don't worry, I'm done, too.
14:18Oh, dear.
14:19Is it over?
14:20When she says done, does she mean that's it?
14:22That's it.
14:23End of.
14:23End of experiment, end of relationship, end of marriage.
14:27Kaput.
14:28No, I deserve more than that.
14:31Oh, his ring!
14:32Oh!
14:33Not on the bellhop thing.
14:37I won't give it back.
14:38I'd keep it and put it in pawn shop.
14:40I'm done, too.
14:41Here you go.
14:44Fuck off!
14:46They're both done!
14:48Oh, how childish.
14:50What I hope she does is tries and goes back into the apartment
14:53and slam the door when it's one of those soft closers,
14:56you know, like at a hotel, so it doesn't slam.
14:58That's, yeah.
14:59Oh.
15:07In Durham.
15:09We didn't realise this when we were going to Scotland,
15:11but we put it on the sat-nav.
15:13And originally it said five hours and I thought,
15:15oh, that's a long time.
15:16And then we'd put it on the morning we were leaving
15:18and it said five hours forty.
15:20Five hours forty!
15:22Best friends, Abby and Georgia.
15:25And did you have to show your passports as well?
15:27No.
15:29Passports.
15:30Well, because you're going into another country.
15:33We crossed the border.
15:34We didn't show a passport.
15:35There wasn't border control.
15:36Well, you crossed the border, yeah?
15:40Because really, you go to Spain, you go to another country.
15:43You go to Scotland, you go to another country.
15:45You go to Wales, you go to another country.
15:48But, I don't know.
15:50No-one asked me for my passport.
15:53I tell you what, though, while we were there,
15:55I did ask Josh what the time was back home.
15:59As he said.
16:00On Saturday night,
16:02BGT was still on the hunt for top-notch talent.
16:05Hey, we've got a semi on, so...
16:07I know.
16:07Had a nice cutlered rinse there.
16:10BGT.
16:11I've got you some grapes.
16:12And I've got you some strawberries.
16:15Where's the real snacks?
16:16I've got you some Rocky Role.
16:18Oh, that's more like it.
16:21Are they ever going to change the start of this?
16:24Never.
16:25It just makes me think we're in a recession.
16:27Yeah.
16:28We are.
16:30I'm Alfredo.
16:31I'm Coral.
16:32We are husband and wife, and...
16:34We perform together.
16:36Oh, you know who this is.
16:38The crossbow.
16:39Yes, I get...
16:41I know it's dangerous.
16:43I wouldn't trust you with a crossbow.
16:47I wouldn't aim a crossbow at you, Shirl.
16:50We met on my birthday party.
16:51We started to talk.
16:52I told her,
16:53if you allow me to throw knives at you,
16:54and she said,
16:55for sure, and here we are.
16:57If you meet a guy,
16:57and he starts wanting to throw knives at you,
16:59I'd call that a red flag.
17:00That's a woman that has no trust issues,
17:02I'll tell you that now.
17:04And that's a man who's had about six marriages.
17:09What a strange couple they make.
17:11Why do they make this feel all sexy?
17:13It's not a guy trying to kill his wife and keeps messing.
17:15Yeah.
17:20Tell you what he's got in them trousers.
17:23Betty's wallet.
17:24Exactly.
17:27Do you know what?
17:28This is already dangerous.
17:31Dangerously sexy.
17:32Yeah, it's sexy and dangerous.
17:36Oh, it's a bit close, isn't he?
17:41I wouldn't have you doing that to me.
17:43Oh, my God.
17:48What's he got in?
17:49Oh, these look precarious, Shirl.
17:50Hey, what's he got now?
17:51I can open her.
17:55Oh, right, so now he has no eyeballs.
18:00Oh, Jesus Christ, how does he know where she is?
18:03She's got to make noises now, so she knows...
18:05Yeah, she's got to whistle or something.
18:07Ah!
18:09Stop!
18:10Oh, hello.
18:11Ah.
18:12Oh, she is a dominatrix, isn't she?
18:14A bossy old bitch.
18:15Yeah.
18:16A bit like you, darling.
18:17Sounds like a really aggressive lollipop lady.
18:21Stop!
18:23OK!
18:25Oh, Jesus Christ.
18:27Split me an egg.
18:28Well, it's miles away.
18:30That's fucking miles away.
18:30I mean, that's easy.
18:32I bet they've practiced this at home, you know.
18:34Left!
18:36Left!
18:37Stop!
18:38Because if you were in the crowd, you'd shout, OK, wouldn't you?
18:41Yeah.
18:42In her voice.
18:43Yeah.
18:44OK!
18:47Oh, that was close.
18:50It really wasn't, was it?
18:51Did she flinch there?
18:52Is that like a part of the act?
18:54It's all part of the act.
18:55It has to be.
18:56Well, that's pretty good.
18:57She looked like a gymnast that finished her job.
19:05Oh, the old crossbow's out now.
19:07I don't like this, love.
19:08I don't know if Beethoven had intended his Moonlight Sonata to be used for a crossbow challenge, Nuttie, on Britain's
19:16Got Talent.
19:20Oh!
19:22Oh, no way!
19:23Oh, hello.
19:24Oh, no, stop that!
19:26Oh, no way!
19:28Oh, she's turning!
19:32Oh, she's swivelling as well.
19:34Oh, no.
19:35No, that's too dangerous.
19:36That's too dangerous.
19:44I couldn't even get myself into that position what kind of pie were they at when they met
19:53It's a very sexually charged dad why do I fancy her quite a lot now
20:00I fancy him double day you see now if that were me and Paige on the stage the roles would
20:09be different
20:09I think Paige would be the Alfredo and I would be Carl yeah you know and the reason being that
20:16if I say hit page with a knife I'd never hear the last of it and you've got the legs
20:23for the
20:27credit card side-on in Manchester Sean look at this what I made it's an internet sensation it's
20:40crisps with chocolate oh I'm in for a treat here yeah hear that crunch the melons what are you
20:49pulling the face at like watching the cement mix I go in here this it's not for me yeah what
20:57we
20:57found something that's not for sure some food it's not for sure let's let work on him I reckon
21:02he'll turn it means go get the proper taste as you go you know what I'll have another bite of
21:06that a
21:06minute it does grow on on Tuesday night Jamie was back grilling some grow button channel for
21:21what are you doing pulling me fat pants up fucking how far did they go they're up here they're under
21:27my brow looks like I've got a swimming cozy on I went to the same college as Jamie Oliver Simon
21:33no way
21:34they spotted Jamie but they didn't spot me Simon oh Jane I know if you'd been called Jamie they might
21:41yeah yeah you've had your own show by now yeah I could be couldn't I the naked chef I wouldn't
21:45have watched that to be honest not my sister the first glimpse of sunshine and we just want to get
21:51outside and barbecue it's true I was walking around the supermarket the other week when the sun was
21:56shining yeah and everyone was on the phone saying we're having a barbecue later do you want to come
22:00get two more burgers Tom and Tim are coming so I've created delicious recipes to help you be more
22:07adventurous when you fire up that barbecue oh hello that look nice from epic rubs and flavor-packed
22:14marinades gnarly encrusted I really want Jamie in my life to roast dinners chicken curries chicken curry
22:21on a barbecue and even breakfast breakfast yeah I'm gonna roll out of head and go spark the barbecue
22:31this is one for dad's in it I feel exotic when I eat food from a barbecue now Alan does
22:36a good
22:37barbecue doesn't a yeah because he likes his steak oh my god it's a meat feast isn't it
22:42Alan's Barbies nothing beats cooking outside oh money you hate both those things being outside and
22:48cooking yeah my worst nightmare honestly fresh air good vibes and that smoky barbecue working its magic
22:55you do feel all kinds of money when you do a barbecue as well don't you I do like opening
23:00the back door and going someone's having a barbie yeah that's the most British thing ever someone's
23:08having a barbie I'm gonna put it to one side you see mine looks nothing like that it's got all
23:15fat
23:15some residue and bits of burgers stuck on the grills that means you've got very hot medium and low I've
23:25never thought of that you didn't know that mr. warden I don't bother with that I don't think this is
23:31necessary rudder so I'm gonna cook these steaks three different ways rare medium rare and medium oh you
23:39know that used to get well done steaks before he met me and then because I ripped him to shreds
23:43he
23:44didn't dare order it again so then he started getting medium so 47 degrees internal temperature
23:49that's our rare steak oh look at it take notes dad 47 degrees 47 oh there we go this one
23:56here is gonna
23:56be our medium rare which you want about 52 can you imagine doing all that Laura no this is such
24:03a
24:04performance isn't it I know so while that's resting I'm gonna get the veggies on the barbecue no what is
24:09he doing cooking vegetables on a barbecue it's mate I'm gonna go over to the hot side with some
24:16beautiful asparagus do you like them what they taste like asparagus grilled relish is gonna be
24:24delicious unusual but very very cool you get excited about that no I've never had cooked radishes you can
24:33take things like mange too or sugar snap peas anything that's small that would fall through the
24:37bars we can put on here on your metal save oh my god I think Jamie's a genius oh mange
24:44too I love a mange
24:46too this green stuff has no place at a barbecue just slice this up look at this is he cutting
24:53it into
24:54tiny little bits yes so that I like to do that myself I don't like people doing too much activism
25:00on
25:00my meat not if I like dealing with things myself it makes me feel like a savage I don't want
25:05someone
25:06to cut it up for me all those gorgeous juices got my juices flowing nicely I'll tell you now fuck
25:14oh
25:14whoa honest to God I was enjoying this steak and look at that beef cooked to perfection
25:23hmm how I wish I was Jules Holland Jules Holland his wife oh hmm not Jules Holland no that's that's
25:36the musician isn't it Jules Oliver I meant oh yeah no I don't want to be Jules Holland
25:54in Leeds I've text Georgia personal trainer this morning oh I've yeah I've told her I'm not being a
26:01ghost anymore and I think she'll have some time coming up for me soon over the summer and that's
26:06it I'm going in protein queen sisters Ellie and Izzy really why what's got into you
26:14because I'm sick a bit I said I'm jiggly beyond a joke that is but those were my words to
26:19Georgia
26:19jiggly beyond a joke jiggly beyond a joke I thought no Izzy you've got to do something about it
26:24I'm looking at surgery options on Google 12 grand can't afford it gonna have to start exercising
26:32on Friday it was down to BBC news to take us into the long weekend everybody calm everyone stay calm
26:38we've got the news yeah we're gonna learn something settle into a bank holiday yeah is it
26:44what are these 2018 is called it wants its curtains back I know I've just taken them out of my
26:50bedroom they're shocking aren't they what in the crushed velvet what in the 2018 mirror chrome
26:58furniture is going on here yeah now many of us may be trying our hands a bit of DIY this
27:05bank
27:05holiday weekend see I'm not exclusive to bank holiday weekend for me DIY it's seven days a week
27:11three six five three six four I don't do Christmas Day obviously as you know and ahead of it the
27:19flat
27:20pack world championships so you gotta go for the flat pack regionals yeah it's an annual event and it
27:27sees competitors race to assemble furniture in record time there's nothing in record time if they're doing
27:33flat pack burn it check that's your old bastard day if you're delighted by dowels bonkers about
27:38brackets or you actually know which way around the instructions need to be this contest is for you
27:43the last thing I built was a five by five clallax oh that's the biggest of the clallax ranges
27:51this for god the ultimate relationship test now world championship what a brilliant idea for
27:57something constructive this is when a husband and wife have built a few bits in the house and go
28:01you build a bookcase and then a bedside table but against the clock and with an audience I can't
28:11imagine the audience is massive you've got more people on stage than you do in the audience do you
28:16reckon they sell out tickets yeah what are you up to this can I have a box warehouse worker Hayley
28:23will
28:23be competing as the reigning champ for now is that what you've got to win do you got a golden
28:30allen key is the trophy she knocked up a table in nine minutes 33 seconds last time around oh my
28:36god Hayley that would be nine hours for me yeah nine days for me and even has her own flat
28:41pack support
28:42business I bet she's really popular come on good intense hammering and twisting everyone hoping
28:53someone else would screw up oh look at that multitasking reading the instructions screwing
28:58and getting the next piece out yes she's done it again to the winner the spoils or more appropriately
29:15the golden hex key hex key it's not called a hex key it is called an allen key and let's
29:22be honest
29:22a lot of phone calls from friends and family desperate for assembly assistance pay them all off
29:27unless you're paying I'm not interested I actually would think I'd do all right there I reckon so
29:33is that most my house is made of flat pack oh couch flat pack what else flat pack okay yeah
29:42keep going
29:43flat pack in sorry mum we went to go and see judy love the other day we did and it
29:52was really good
29:52but you are terrible at directions Sarah the husband Andre and their daughter Shay
30:01because whenever you're with me or with dad mum just goes off into another world in another
30:06cuckoo land mum doesn't know what's going on mum's not bothering you have to make sure mum doesn't get
30:11hit by cars you have to tell mum no move over there mum no mum the keys over there the
30:16bathrooms
30:17mum's just goes about life this week the spooks from Widows Bay were giving us the willies again on
30:28Apple TV I can't believe we're watching this again my anxiety is being up here as it is it's gonna
30:33be
30:33after this if anyone deserves to get haunted is you because you're such a skeptic with it dad please
30:39don't haunt me or if you're gonna haunt me make sure I'm dressed do you know what spooks me at
30:47the
30:47minute you walking in my bedroom on the night I just see his tiny shadow hey it's honestly I'll be
30:55it's horrible you can hear what stuff is it's horrible thank you in the program Mayor Tom was
31:05trying to convince the locals that there was no such thing as ghosts we have a new chapter now and
31:12there
31:12is nothing wrong with that in a lot of bad things have gone down there yes that's that's true but
31:20it
31:20doesn't make it haunted I would never put anyone in danger why don't you stay there yeah if you
31:25really don't think it's haunted and there's no wrong with it why don't you go and keep there for the
31:29night and if you give me a ring I'll come and stay there and bring all my ghost hunting equipment
31:33okay I'll do it good on your Tom if that's what it takes I will stay there tonight oh see
31:40if it
31:41does stay they'll shut him all up he should spend time in that crawl space oh spend time in the
31:47crawl
31:47space isn't the crawl space a bit that's under the house okay I'll do it but when I do all
31:53this talk
31:54stops right well fair comment would you do it no not even for money maybe how much we're talking
32:03later we saw Tom arrive at the creepy in oh it's here something oh
32:19what is doing listen is that music can hear stuff oh it's people screaming I think when you hear
32:28screaming in an air vent at a hotel it's pretty normal just to mind your own business oh
32:36is that a footstep yeah sounds like someone's going up the stairs someone outside outside the door
32:46honey what are you doing that was you he's already opening the door you know
33:00oh my god I definitely saw it hello oh there's somebody there that's not scary no somebody's
33:09staying there he didn't tell him that the innkeeper didn't tell me anyone else would be here does he
33:15usually announce guests to each other just another guest I mean that's normal if you're going to a
33:20hotel isn't it I'm William is William really there this time thinking is William a ghost you know
33:31something's not right here self no because why would he still be wearing his tie yeah you'd have had
33:37that often top button under one yeah before heading to bed mayor Tom wanted to check where the noises
33:43were coming from there's the crawl space Mary oh shit no oh that is very small in it
33:57it's actually going in there shit oh he's going in yuck you silly bastard what the hell abs I need
34:06a block
34:06my ear bloody hell it's like a whole nother room in there I'm really not enjoying this all my life
34:18what are you
34:21doing Jenny what is the matter with you well I'm scared and they haven't even seen not yet
34:30oh he's videoing I am in the crawl space oh what was that was that someone behind them hello
34:40hello oh Tom get out there's nobody there well William who is it go back go back go back go
34:50back
34:56oh howdy neighbor oh oh is William need some help in there what no no oh no this is creepy
35:06now
35:06why can't we see his face no don't don't don't don't come in don't I'm coming out don't come in
35:13he's going in the hall don't go
35:18the fucking cloud oh my god oh what is it oh my god it's a clown
35:35oh he's bloody dreaming it was just a dream fuck off oh no I'll be having bastard dreams all night
35:42now like what you mean like Tom yeah following me up my passage oh we don't want that
35:58in Blackpool did I tell you Paige played an absolute blinder the other night
36:03why so Eva was a bit poorly getting up getting up every two minutes waking up
36:08Paige's turn to get up do you want to come and stop in mummy and daddy's bed then
36:11yeah oh Pete and his little sister Sophie
36:16anyway Eva starts snoring in middle of us and me and Paige are like that and Paige are like
36:20I can't sleep like this I'm going in the other room I went you cheeky son you're the one who's
36:27offered her to come in here and now I'm having to put up with it oh god I nearly went
36:32and stopped
36:33in Eva's car even at our bed and patient's spare room this week it was an action-packed thriller
36:39set down under that had us on the edge of our seats on Netflix you ready to be thrilled Jane
36:44yeah could do with a bit of a thriller great it'll perk you up a bit yeah it will perk
36:48me up oh
36:49that'll be lovely I'll look forward to that I like Charlize Theron but I only like her in select
36:53stuff like the Italian job the remake when she was a safe cracker now you know who she is now
37:00the
37:00one with the stethoscope that's right
37:07apex that's how you shape somebody's nail when you're doing them you want it to have an apex
37:12yeah but it's an apex predator it's the top of the food chain oh is it my mind just goes
37:19to nails
37:19in the film we found Charlize Theron looking for a route through the Australian outback you're going
37:26there alone I wouldn't recommend it why why I think at this point in the film if she turned
37:32around and said oh I'll give it a mess it would be quite a shit ending yeah people get lost
37:37in these
37:37woods all the time and here they stay lost all the people missing on the board oh god I mean
37:43if
37:43that's not shouting red flag what is hey oh Taron Egerton's here oh that's the guy that please
37:54Elton John in there yeah and Eddie the Eagle in there I'm trying to get to Grand Isle Narrows
38:00and my GPS is out yeah yeah the canyon yeah don't tell you don't tell people where you're going love
38:06Sasha yeah start at Blackstone Bay just before you get to the split break you're gonna find the most
38:10amazing camping area okay it's a bit of a well-kept secret that's where all the people go missing oh
38:16that's a bit dodgy well camping area well-kept secret nobody knows about I hope you know what you're
38:21doing because it can get pretty intense yeah intense pretty gnarly it's okay most people do
38:25it in pairs oh if Taron was suggesting for us to go in pairs I'd be on it like a
38:29carb on it it's like
38:30people are telling her and warning her against it she's not taking any notice whatsoever no
38:40oh that looks pretty looks pretty creepy to me imagine just rocking up to that by yourself though
38:45isn't it yeah in Australia yeah yeah all places I know you might be able to do that in Somerset
38:51yeah
39:02oh no you know that's trouble already in it do you want to be alone you might get in a
39:09camper van if I
39:10was you love yeah and get me head down and put the locks down on the doors to you know
39:14we'll do yeah
39:15straight away oh they're going they're leaving you would never catch me wild camping on me
39:24own absolutely not all good camping on an actual campsite with facilities
39:30nevermind wild company with the trip not quite going to plan Shalee's stumbled across another camper
39:38hello somebody's been here look the fire's lit fire still burning oh who's that oh it's Taron
39:50Edgerton I'm Bing Sasha Ben nice to meet you hi Sasha what a coincidence seeing you you need to go
39:57this
39:58way I told you to come to my camp I'd be quite pleased if I bumped into Ben I don't
40:03know if I would
40:04something got into my gear last night and took everything my phone my food oh bloody hell oh
40:09bloody hell he didn't sound surprised did he yeah good news is I always pack twice what I need I'm
40:16more than happy to set you up see bad or good we can't tell yet Mary I know who showed
40:21up at my
40:21campsite the other night it was hunters from the gas station you're definitely messing with me I'd be
40:28more wary of him I am I'm more wary of him handle them perfectly like what you handle them perfectly
40:36how does he know what you had great boys was he there so what are you saying at the campsite
40:45no I was
40:45there I thought maybe you could use a hand huh this is a bit weird now yeah oh Daniela is
40:51following her
40:52not the guys though clearly oh no that laugh chill this is when it's time for me to leave though
41:00like yeah you're not gonna finish your brickie I'm suddenly full actually play it down yeah turn
41:08round run like don't get a rock smack him in the head what's that whoa he's got a crossbow Ben
41:19is a
41:20psychopath run why is he playing the music is this some kind of sick fantasy he's got so look it's
41:30very simple you've got until the very end of this song to get as far away from music again oh
41:34he wants
41:34to haunt her it's gonna kill her I'm gonna hunt her okay he's seriously good taste of music though can
41:46you
41:46start it from the beginning at least we've already had like the intro bit run Sasha run you want to
41:57run like
41:58hell then huh you were literally running for your life he knows that for his lap back of his own
42:19so
42:29she's fucked it herself she has oh where's Ben to I don't know I wouldn't like to see love you'd
42:38be
42:38going do you know what you shoot me yeah this is why I don't like to be out my comfort
42:42zone no
42:44absolutely not I like my own home I like a cup of tea I like a panini not the panini
42:55in home no I wonder what they call French toast in France French toast don't they
43:02are they just their toast best friends Jenny and Lee try to eat me sandwich well I'm just asking you
43:10would France would people in France call French toast toast no call it French toast why would
43:16they because of in French France well we call ours mustard English mustard don't we so what they
43:23just call it toast and we just call it mustard and not French toast I've gone off it give it
43:32to a French
43:33pattern on Friday night a new national scandal was making the headlines on the BBC I've had a great
43:40day-to-day at work they've moved where I sit so I've been in front of the window where the
43:45sun's coming
43:47in my treat oh it is no he's starting to bug me again please get him away I'm starting to
43:52freak out
43:52stop pestering Giles leave him alone and stop staring at him it's like a death stir now this is a
44:01bit of a
44:01fishy tale because the BBC has learned that some chip shops are passing off catfish as traditional fish
44:07chips oh no way they're cheeky bastards catfish what's that I thought that was when you post a
44:14photo and you look nothing like you do in real life it's significantly cheaper than the usual cod
44:19or haddock but can be hard to detect we're being catfished by catfish huh I know oh my god it's
44:26all
44:27a lie look at these immigrant fish coming in and taking our other fish's jobs they should be ashamed
44:32of themselves well now DNA tests have been carried out on the fish from 10 chip shops in the north
44:38west of England north west oh my god we're targeted we're renowned for all fish and chips
44:44around it this is almost like when you get caught naked somewhere I'm embarrassed one of the nation's
44:52favorite takeaways but how much do we know about what we're eating it's expensive and all now wait
44:58see how much it is nine quid for a fish ah but what you're eating is it catfish yeah I'd
45:04want the
45:05full tank for nine quid when you go in your local chippy you ask for fish and chips what do
45:10you expect
45:10to get back fish probably cod or haddock cod that's the only one I'd expect you know cod the fish
45:18isn't
45:18fish the sausage isn't sausage and I don't know what's in the steak and kidney pudding but I'll eat
45:23them all yeah yeah we analyzed reviews of chippies and found dozens of complaints where the species
45:28of the fish was questioned who's doing that what kind of review is that I've never read a review where
45:35it's where the word species is in it yeah we bought 10 portions from takeaways and sent them for DNA
45:41testing I don't think we need to know who the dad is to the fish we're not looking for its
45:46mom and dad
45:47it's not finding anymore imagine if our fish and chip shops are letting us down imagine what all the
45:51other takeaways are doing done exactly the test showed that seven of the samples were cod and
45:56haddock as advertised but the remaining three which were sold to us as traditional fish were in fact
46:02a tropical freshwater calf fish known as river cobbler hey they need a dun dun dun I love the fact
46:10that this
46:10is happening isn't it but the sneaky looking Donna kebab in the corner is spinning around going don't ask
46:16any questions about me you don't want to know the answers yeah
46:25liverpool squeezed through and brighton were a little unexpected jill scott and maizey adam bring
46:31us at the women's fa cup semi-final this sunday at 12 and colleen nolan is being equipped with some
46:37naughty toys spare your blushes celebs go dating monday night at 9 25 on e4 or stream the series so
46:44far
46:45perfect perfect world
46:49perfect world
46:49perfect world
46:49perfect world
46:50perfect world
46:50perfect world
46:50perfect world
46:52You