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00:00What do you think to my new dining chairs?
00:02Look!
00:04I've only been waiting for new dining chairs since 2019.
00:08Oh, my God.
00:10Look at that.
00:11Are you ready for this?
00:13Comfort.
00:16Oh, my God.
00:18I'm swivelling.
00:19Now I'm watching telly.
00:22Now I'm getting the remote.
00:23I'm swivelling back to the telly.
00:25I'm putting the remote down.
00:27Now I'm going to go look out the window.
00:29Oh, my God.
00:30You are living in 2081.
00:37Have you ever done out like that?
00:38Well, I have to tell you.
00:40I have.
00:40Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
00:42Oh, Barcelona.
00:46No, I don't like that this guy's trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
00:49A what?
00:50Food fetish.
00:51I had no idea that was a thing.
00:53Remove my britches.
00:54Expose your loins.
00:55I like that.
00:56Oh!
00:59Oh, what night.
01:00This is weird.
01:01Geeze, a mercenary bugger, isn't he?
01:03This is why I don't date.
01:04That is Dyson with the devil.
01:06Oh, no.
01:07He suffers for his art, doesn't he?
01:09Clearly.
01:09A Bentley Continental.
01:11I think I'd rather call it a Dane, I'd say, wouldn't you?
01:14Who's been arrested now and for what?
01:18In the week by George sang for San Marino in the Eurovision semis, we enjoyed lots of great
01:25telly.
01:26There was more drama from Downing Street dominating the headlines.
01:30The Prime Minister arrived here, his job on the line.
01:35Some in his party have fretted he's not up to it for months.
01:39They are out to destroy a once great country.
01:42You think he's taken the job as PM in order to destroy the...
01:46Destroy it, yeah.
01:47What?
01:48You think he's pretend...
01:49Probably in league with the World Economic Forum and Klaus Schwab.
01:54Oh, Charles, you do sound like a nutter.
01:56It was the party of all parties for a national treasure on BBC One.
02:01And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
02:08The world doesn't look like that now, it's got Walker's crisps all over the floor.
02:23It's sad.
02:24And they were desperately seeking some romance on Channel 4.
02:29My parents are both romantic, but the relationship with my mum, when it comes to dating and love,
02:35is really special.
02:36You see, it's weird, isn't it?
02:37You know, when love's first bud, it's like a flower, isn't it, love, when you think about it.
02:43You know, your first date is like the shoot, where it just comes out.
02:46And then, as time progresses, it gets nice and expands and the love gets bigger.
02:51And then, ultimately, it dies.
03:04Oh, don't make yourself unattractive to me. Let me hold one.
03:09These are the first vegetables of the season, Mary.
03:12Let me hold one.
03:13Giles and his wife, Mary.
03:15One big one for Daddy.
03:17Right.
03:17One smaller one for Mummy.
03:19I'm off.
03:19No, don't spoil the...
03:22Let me hold it, then.
03:23Don't spoil the moment, Natty.
03:25Let this be a happy family moment.
03:27On Friday, Channel 4 had us counting down to the weekend.
03:32Right.
03:33Come on, Ellie.
03:34Look alive.
03:36Oxygenate the brain.
03:38Calm down.
03:38Reminds me of getting off the school bus, going to my gran and grandad's, having tea and watching the telly.
03:47APPLAUSE
03:50Concentrate, Martha.
03:52We're going to have a child genius on our hands if we keep this up.
03:55It's the most middle-aged shit I've ever seen.
03:57LAUGHTER
03:59Already five Octo Champs have been crowned, could be six by the end of today's show.
04:04Ooh, excitement.
04:05The tension.
04:06Oh!
04:07Reintroduced, for the last time for now, our champion Patrick Thompson.
04:11We've got the champion on with a face like a smacked arse.
04:13Patrick looks like my tone of voice.
04:15LAUGHTER
04:16You're up against Simon Randall.
04:19Oh, my life is my friend Simon Randall!
04:21No, it's not!
04:23It is!
04:24Get out!
04:26Come on, Simon!
04:29Consonant, please.
04:30Start today with R.
04:32Away we go.
04:33Right.
04:34R.
04:34Oh, she's loving it.
04:35And another...
04:37H.
04:38So what's happening here?
04:39Right.
04:40Are you...
04:40For someone that watched it every night till your grand and grand dies, you weren't
04:44f***ing watching, were you?
04:45I wasn't watching, I was listening.
04:46And another...
04:47You.
04:48Oh.
04:49What was yours?
04:50Ooh, yeah.
04:50She's trying to tell you.
04:51And another...
04:53N.
04:53Ooh!
04:55Phenomenon.
04:56That was not M.
04:59PHONE!
05:01PHONE!
05:02PHONE!
05:02Oh, yeah!
05:03Yeah!
05:03PHONE!
05:07PHONE!
05:09PHONE!
05:10Neon!
05:12Oh, no.
05:12That's not...
05:13Well, no.
05:14Can't even do that.
05:15In my defence, English is like our third language.
05:19PHONE!
05:20Fuck me!
05:20This is horrible!
05:22Hang on a minute.
05:23Hang on a minute.
05:24Peroni!
05:25My favourite...
05:25Peroni!
05:26PHONE!
05:28PHONE!
05:29PHONE!
05:29PHONE!
05:35PHONE!
05:35I've got nothing!
05:36iPhone!
05:39PHONE!
05:39PHONE!
05:40Seven.
05:40He's got a seven out of that.
05:42Oh, well, he would be a smart bastard.
05:44Patrick got a seven.
05:46Simon?
05:47Seven as well.
05:48He's got a seven as well.
05:49We've got a jewel.
05:50Excellent stuff, Patrick.
05:51Phonia?
05:52Phonia?
05:53Phonia?
05:53There's no F!
05:56And for you, Simon?
05:57Yep, the same.
05:58Get in!
06:01What's phonia?
06:02Like a phobia.
06:04He said phonia?
06:05Yeah, so you're scared of phones.
06:08You've got phonia.
06:09That's like when you've got two phones.
06:11One of them looks quite a bit like a phone,
06:14but the other one's just a bit more phonia.
06:17Oh, shit.
06:18That's a phone.
06:19There's your phonia.
06:21I thought you'd say hi, Kaz.
06:22Consonant, please, Rachel.
06:23Thank you, Patrick.
06:25L.
06:25L.
06:26Here we go.
06:26And another.
06:28E.
06:29Lapis lazuli.
06:31Lee.
06:32Oh, yeah, it's got Lee, yeah.
06:34Consonant, please.
06:36P.
06:36Pens.
06:37Pens.
06:38Penis.
06:39Mary.
06:40Penis.
06:42Mother.
06:50Mother.
06:51Oh, P.
06:52E.
06:52N.
06:53E.
06:53S.
06:54Oh, God.
06:59Penis it is, then.
07:00She's trying to tell us the answer here.
07:02You're not listening.
07:03She's saying penises as well.
07:05Is she?
07:06Mother.
07:06That's going to be her first word.
07:07Stop it.
07:08Patrick.
07:09Please say penis.
07:10Eight.
07:11Eight.
07:12From what?
07:13And for you, Simon?
07:15Just seven.
07:15Just a seven?
07:17Oh, Simon's got a seven, Jane.
07:19What's the seven?
07:20Pennies.
07:20Pennies.
07:21Very good.
07:22And the pennies dropped for Patrick.
07:24Pencione?
07:25Is that Italian for penis?
07:27What's that, an Indian dish?
07:28Pencione.
07:29Oh, no, I'm thinking of Peshwari.
07:31Oh, nice.
07:32Patrick, though, brilliant on the conundrums.
07:35Oh, the conundrum?
07:36The conundrum?
07:37I can't even say it.
07:37It's easy for you to say.
07:38Sometimes it comes to me in a flash.
07:42It does.
07:43Let's find out and reveal Friday's Countdown Conundrum.
07:48Oh, what?
07:49The clock didn't even start.
07:51That is mental, that.
07:54Resembled.
07:55Let's have a look.
07:57How?
07:59Shut up.
08:00Unbelievable.
08:01Patrick Thompson.
08:03Look at the clock.
08:06Will you text, Simon?
08:08Have you got Simon's text number?
08:09Will you contact me?
08:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:11I saw you.
08:12Yeah, I messaged you.
08:13I saw you on Countdown, Simon.
08:19In Leeds.
08:20Right, what do you want?
08:22Crisp-wise, smoky bacon, roast chicken, cheese and onion,
08:25beef hula's prawn cocktail, already salted.
08:30Smoky bacon, please.
08:32Wait till you see this.
08:33Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
08:36So, I've done us a bread cake each.
08:39Half way for thin ham, half way for thin chicken.
08:42Get fucked fudge.
08:43Then a cheeky half.
08:45Oooh.
08:47Lashings of butter.
08:48Yeah, but Izzy.
08:50Oh my God.
08:51I had boiled eggs and soul just before I came round here.
08:54I was absolutely stuffed.
08:56Really?
08:57Do you think...
08:58I put it in foil.
08:59Check it on.
09:02I'll just force it in and pog yourself.
09:06Also an option.
09:07Yeah.
09:08On Monday, Rav and the team were fighting crime online again on BBC One.
09:14Oh no, do you need to get out?
09:15Because you want to watch Scam Interceptors.
09:17Let's see how we can fraud people.
09:20No, it's how you can protect yourself from baddies.
09:23Yeah, protect people.
09:24Yeah.
09:27The only thing I think you should be aware of is,
09:31if it sounds too good to be true, it usually isn't.
09:36Do you not understand that?
09:38Yeah, you just contradicted.
09:39If it sounds too good to be true...
09:41Then it is too good to be true.
09:44Yes.
09:45You just said it isn't.
09:46It isn't true.
09:49If it sounds too good to be true, then it is.
09:53It's too good to be true.
09:55To be true.
09:55That's it.
09:57I'm glad you're not dishing out too much advice.
09:59You get people all out of the shop.
10:01Has you been a loyal customer to the sky for so long, a long time?
10:05To the sky.
10:07The company has decided to give you back your one-year-line return money.
10:10Oh my God!
10:11I had this happen to me!
10:13As if, I'd be like, don't lie to me.
10:16Oh yeah.
10:17No one gives you anything back because you've been a good customer, do they?
10:20You've just found more remote access on someone else's device.
10:23Different scam, now sky impersonation it seems.
10:26Oh, Rav's looking extra dish here.
10:28I like how he's gelled his hair today.
10:29And that might pull her.
10:31And in this case, we can see that he's got remote access to this man's mobile phone.
10:35Talk us through it, curtains.
10:36On the right-hand side of the screen.
10:38And then on the left, he's currently signing them up for online banking.
10:41Oh my God!
10:42No, that's quite scary.
10:43This is a really complex operation.
10:45Like, he's got him to download software.
10:48You've got no chance in that account, yes.
10:50To remote on.
10:51It's a big amount of money, £498, all in total.
10:55You are going to get from Sky.
10:57Sky would never do that.
10:59You used to work for them, yeah.
11:00I worked for them for six months before they felt they'd seen enough of me.
11:04You got their debit card with you, am I correct?
11:07Oh, debit card, no protection.
11:08We need your number, we need your PIN code, oh yes.
11:12The man is told to place his card in front of his phone camera.
11:17That's so they can capture a picture of the card and use it again on somewhere else.
11:22Thanks to ethical hacker Agent G9.
11:24Sorry, what?
11:25What the fuck?
11:27We now know the man's name, his mobile number and postcode.
11:32Oh, brilliant.
11:33But remember, they can't ring him.
11:34Yeah.
11:35They've now got to get someone round there, quick.
11:37Yeah.
11:38To protect his identity, we'll call him John.
11:41John.
11:41Poor John's going to get scammed.
11:43He tells John to check his TV.
11:46While he does that, the scammer steals his money.
11:50No!
11:52Sending £500.
11:54He's taking £500 out of his account.
11:56Oh, my God. Transfer created.
11:59He's doing another transaction now, another £498.
12:01He's doing it again?
12:02And interceptor Alice makes a breakthrough.
12:06Oh!
12:06Come on, Alice!
12:08She finds the telephone number of a neighbour.
12:11Oh, hallelujah.
12:13Yeah, that was good, see?
12:15That's brilliant, that is.
12:18First transfer's done.
12:19Hello?
12:20Oh!
12:21Sorry to call you out.
12:21They're in!
12:22They're in!
12:23There is someone, I believe, a couple of doors down from your road, who is actually in
12:28the process of being scammed.
12:30Oh, could you imagine getting that phone call?
12:31I'd be like, this sounds like a scam.
12:33What do you mean?
12:34I'd go to the door, me.
12:35I literally just need a knock on the door and to say, please get off the phone.
12:40You are talking to a scammer.
12:41Come on, lady.
12:42I can phone him and speak to him and explain what's going on.
12:45OK, then.
12:45Oh, she's a good lass, isn't she?
12:47Well, you'd do that straight away, wouldn't you?
12:49Oh, I know.
12:50What's happened?
12:52Is this it?
12:53I think she's there.
12:54She's there?
12:55She's on the...
12:56She's on the door.
12:57You don't need to open the door right now, because the internet work is going on right
13:00now.
13:01Oh, you cheeky bugger.
13:03Whoa.
13:03Internet work is going on right now.
13:06No, no, no, no, no, Mr Scammer.
13:09Someone's here.
13:11Hello?
13:12Hello?
13:14John?
13:15Are you there, John?
13:17The call ended.
13:18Oh!
13:22That's the result.
13:23Hey, where's me?
13:26This is Rav Wilding from the Scam Interceptor programme.
13:29Oh, this is Rav from the BBC.
13:31Yeah.
13:32I sent your neighbour to your house.
13:35Are you okay?
13:37What the **** going on?
13:39Oh, he's so distressed.
13:41I need to reach out to Rav Wilding.
13:43Some arsehole has cloned my card details.
13:47You're joking.
13:48I spent 140 quid on me card.
13:49Shit.
13:50But the best bit was the bank were going, are you sure you've not spent this money?
13:54Yeah.
13:54I'm sure.
13:55Do you even know who I am?
13:58I wouldn't spend 140 quid on anything.
14:08The best thing I've ever bought Josh with is barbecue.
14:11You have them every night, don't you?
14:13Every night.
14:14Best friends, Abby and Georgia.
14:16It's a plug-in barbecue.
14:18I know, but why are you not just cooking indoors until it gets sunny outside?
14:22Because I don't like the smell of food.
14:25So, any smell of meat is outside, wafting away in the wind.
14:31Josh loves it.
14:32He says every day, I love this barbecue.
14:37It's a wood fire barbecue.
14:39What if you wanted rice?
14:41I've also got a microwave.
14:44So, you don't put everything on the barbecue?
14:46No, I don't cook fucking rice on the barbecue. What?
14:52On Friday night, the whole nation settled in to celebrate a remarkable milestone birthday.
14:59Oh, celebration drink.
15:01It is, but it looks like wallpaper burst.
15:04Pina colada, innit?
15:06Yeah.
15:07And it tastes like wallpaper paste.
15:08Cheers, Sir David.
15:09Oh, no.
15:10Properly.
15:11Cheers, Sir David.
15:12Happy 100th birthday.
15:14Hello and welcome to London's Royal Albert Hall.
15:18Oh, look at that.
15:20Isn't that nice?
15:21Tonight, we have a very special evening of music and celebration in store.
15:26Do they not realise that we can see them operating?
15:28And tonight is all about celebrating the incredible life of the one and only Sir David Attenborough.
15:36To me, David Attenborough is the male version of the Queen.
15:40I think of, you know, I'm proud to be British when I think of David Attenborough.
15:46When I think of him...
15:47Yes.
15:48Steady.
15:49Oh, he's just so perfect and admirable.
15:54Unlike your miserable husband.
15:58You know you've got a few good things about you, Nutty.
16:02Oh, thanks for that, Mary.
16:06I think David Attenborough is the only person all us British people can agree on is a national treasure.
16:13He is.
16:14He can't have haters. I refuse to believe he has a hater.
16:17There was no expense spared as an old pal of David's shared some special memories.
16:23Dear David.
16:24Oh, an actual letter.
16:27It is amazing to think that you and I have known one another for more than 60 years.
16:33More than 60 years. They're like BFFs.
16:36Indeed, I believe we first met in 1958.
16:39What?
16:40Almost a decade before the age of colour television.
16:45Look at King Charles looking at you.
16:46Where's King Charles?
16:47Yeah.
16:48Anne Anne.
16:49Princess Anne.
16:50Oh, who's David Attenborough?
16:51David!
16:52Oh, Willow.
16:53Not the bloody parrot.
16:54You have shared my determination to highlight the urgent need to protect
17:02and preserve this precious planet of ours.
17:07I'm going to cry.
17:08Are you going to cry?
17:08I don't know why.
17:10Yeah, he's really, really added to my life.
17:13I feel like I want to be friends with David and King Charles.
17:17You've missed the boat now.
17:19They've got their small circle.
17:21Thank you, then, for all that you have done.
17:24And on behalf of the whole nation, I wish you a very happy 100th birthday.
17:35Oh!
17:37What's going on?
17:38What's going on?
17:39There's a tree down.
17:41Oh, stop it!
17:42Oh, my God!
17:43Stop it!
17:44Here we go.
17:45We've got a border collie with a letter in its mouth, eh?
17:48Today this could be...
17:51Oh!
17:52How have they taught that dog to deliver wildlife?
17:56Well, it's only fitting an animal should deliver it anyway, you think about it.
18:00I know, yeah.
18:01Huh?
18:01Before we run out of time, stay close to me...
18:07No way!
18:08He's going to take it from the dog's mouth.
18:10Is this for your life?
18:12Stay close to me, watch the world...
18:18Oh, Christ, where's it going now?
18:22Oh!
18:22Oh!
18:23It's stuck in the head jog!
18:24I thought I was going to cut the head jog in half!
18:30Squirrel's in on it now.
18:31Red squirrel.
18:33Not grey.
18:34Oh, they've all come out to take his cab.
18:37Jenny, it's not...
18:38I can't help it.
18:38Jenny, it's not fucking real.
18:45Bloody hell.
18:46It's amazing, isn't it?
18:50Hi, I don't think it's actually happening, babe, love.
18:53Well, don't burst my bubble, love.
18:56F***ing hell.
18:58Watch the world of my life tonight!
19:03I wonder if this is Sir David's actual house.
19:06Very touch scenario.
19:08I wonder who thought this up.
19:13Oh, he's got it in his hands!
19:15My God.
19:17Oh, how good does he look for 100?
19:19He doesn't.
19:20Doesn't he look amazing?
19:21He looks really good.
19:25Look!
19:29Oh, my God, we get the scene!
19:30We get to be a part of singing happy birthday to David Atomar.
19:33Day to you...
19:36Happy birthday!
19:39Say that, David!
19:42Oh
19:50I'd have gone with Stevie wonder option if it were me
20:00Look at those people with a nice faces
20:04Are you finished? Yeah, what you're crying for a game?
20:09Look, I think it's really emotional
20:11That's most probably the most epic birthday
20:14Shout out
20:16Ever yeah, yeah
20:17Later, it only seemed right to hear from sir David himself
20:24I see trees of green
20:28Red roses too
20:31I see them bloom. Hang on. This is a song Mary. I know what's the song?
20:36What a wonderful world by louis armstrong by louis armstrong and I think to myself
20:43Stop it what a wonderful world
20:47It is a wonderful world when you look at the beauty isn't it that's because you're in it david
20:52That's why i see skies of blue
20:57Clouds of white i've got goosebumps right blessed days
21:04Oh i'm in babies i can't stop cracking
21:07And i think to myself
21:11What a wonderful world
21:14What a wonderful world
21:16What a wonderful world
21:17Mm-hmm clocked it
21:19The colours of a rainbow
21:23So pretty in the sky
21:27Are also on the faces of people going by
21:32Right come on boys out together the glasses are steamed up and eat me with screen wipers
21:38I never want to hear another version of this song again
21:40No i agree actually this is the version that lives on forever now
21:44I hear babies cry
21:48I watched them grow
21:51Oh it is beautiful isn't it it really is look
21:56So david is so nice because in a shit world he reminds you there are pockets of beautiful that still
22:02exist
22:03Yeah
22:04Quite simply wonderful
22:09I mean what a legacy david attenborough
22:12I mean he he hasn't got a legacy he is a legacy what do you think we're going to be
22:18remembered for
22:21Caravans and chickens
22:22Spam sarnies
22:24Spam sandwiches
22:25I could do you a nice montage for your birthday
22:29What you've done in your life
22:31I haven't done much lately
22:32I know it won't be long
22:33No
22:34I don't think david realises what he's actually added to the world
22:38He's learnt me so much
22:40And me
22:48In sally hall
22:49If aston villa are in the top four of the league
22:54No top five
22:55Top five of the league
22:58Or they win this cup match that they're doing
23:03Yes the uefa cup
23:04That's the one
23:05Teresa and her wife anita
23:08Then that means that next
23:10Next series
23:11Season
23:12Season
23:13Season
23:13They will be in the champions league
23:16Champions league yes
23:18And they play other teams around the world
23:21Yeah around europe yeah
23:23Europe okay
23:25Right okay
23:26Well done I'm impressed
23:29Yeah well I'm just trying to work out you see
23:32Whether I want them to lose so that they don't play so many games next year
23:38So I don't have to sit here and endure so many matches
23:41But if they lose then you're going to be a bit sad
23:44You
23:45I can't even believe you're thinking that
23:51On friday night the political popularity contest was making the headlines
23:56And itv was outside number 10 with the latest update
24:00Did you vote jane?
24:01I did vote simon
24:02Well done you did you vote in person or postal?
24:05But in person
24:05Did you?
24:06Yes I don't like postal
24:07Okay
24:08So yeah it's only down the road
24:10I had a dream last night
24:11I went out for a pub tea
24:13With nigel farad because i were his mate
24:16And then i picked up the bill
24:18He said did i want to go out and i went no it's all right i'll get it
24:22Jesus
24:22What the hell
24:25Good evening from downing street where the prime minister is vowing to fight on
24:30Can you see kia curtain switching in the back
24:34Get our tv off what's she saying
24:38Despite labour suffering humiliating losses after elections in england scotland and wales
24:43This isn't a poll this is actually a true temperature check of what this nation is thinking and feeling right
24:49now
24:50And it ain't labour
24:50Just tell you one thing about local elections mary is that people
24:54Often vote in local elections in a reckless way that they wouldn't when it was actually
25:00The national elections because the local elections can be viewed as a protest vote
25:06I know that darling
25:08Do you want me to mansplain any more
25:10No
25:11No okay
25:11Sir keir starmer said he would take responsibility for the painful results
25:16But that he wouldn't quit
25:17Well who else could take responsibility
25:19The back's got to stop somewhere
25:21Make me
25:22Make me go
25:23Make me go
25:24God
25:25He's locked himself in
25:26But when he says he'll take responsibility what is that responsibility that he's going to take
25:30Well he's the front man isn't he so he gets all shit
25:33It's like gary barlow
25:35Yeah
25:35He's the gary bar of the labour party
25:38Reform uk took hundreds of council seats in england from labour
25:42Dude they've taken temps haven't they
25:44Reform
25:45But the leader nigel farage saying it showed there was an historic shift away from the two main parties
25:51I think everybody wants to mix it up
25:53I'm just i'm concerned about what we're mixing it up with
25:56Exactly
25:57Yesterday is the first time in my life
26:02That i hadn't made my mind up on who to vote for
26:06Because i didn't i'm so disillusioned
26:10The jubilation was mainly measured in teal rosettes
26:14You know i used to like teal until reform took over
26:17As reform surged from hartlepool
26:20To havering
26:22Look at that swagger
26:23We like reform don't we
26:24We do i like nigel farage
26:26A lot of my friends think he's awful
26:28There's something that we can't deny is the amount of people voting for reform
26:33And whatever you think about them there's some appeal they're they're they're tapping into something
26:38Even if i don't like it
26:40It's it's they're saying something that people want to hear
26:43Do you know what i thought what i need to start doing is actually now
26:47My local councillor who is reform need to start emailing her complaining about all the dog
26:53Shit on my path can we have another bin can we this can we that can we whatever and see
26:59if they're up to much
27:00Exactly that's what it's about
27:02Labour not just being punished on their right
27:05But also by the greens on their left
27:08Look at all those moustaches in the green party mullets and moustaches all of them
27:13Greens are always hugging aren't they
27:16You don't see many reform people hugging no
27:19I don't think reform people like physical contact
27:22The voters have sent a message about the pace of change how they want their lives improved
27:28Well they've sent a shot right across your bow have they sunshine
27:31I think a lot of the labour MPs think now that he's stark raping bonkers nothing
27:36Do you think he's been replaced by an AI?
27:39In a stormer if he didn't sound like that i think a lot more people would like him
27:42If he's talked like this instead
27:44Yeah he's got a distinguished face hasn't he
27:46Yeah
27:46Imagine that face sounding like i don't know roger moore or somebody like that
27:50I'll listen to what i gotta say
27:52We're the most shallow voters ever aren't we yeah
27:55I was elected to meet those challenges and i'm not going to walk away from those challenges
28:01And plunge the country into chaos
28:04I mean it's already kind of in chaos mate to be honest
28:06Have you not seen have you been out the house recently
28:11Really we just need care to stay in charge until the end of the summer and then he can step
28:15down
28:15Why till the end of summer?
28:17Because he said he'll let pubs stay open an extra two hours in the world cup
28:21Poor kia i'm very sorry for him
28:25Because i don't think he means any harm
28:27I don't feel sorry for him the sooner he goes the better
28:31Every time he steps out of his door people shout insults at him
28:35All right
28:35And he seems to be the only one that doesn't know it
28:38Giles i really think that with a couple of years to go till you're dead
28:42There is no point in you watching this stuff
28:47In hall
28:48Do you know like i'm gonna get all my bits done for my holidays
28:51You know all my legs
28:53Yes
28:53Best friends jenny and lee
28:56But i noticed the other day when i looked under my arms
29:01I ain't got no
29:02You make a gorilla
29:02No i ain't got none
29:05I ain't got any hairs under my arms
29:08Have you not
29:08No
29:09Why
29:09And i haven't used anything
29:11So you've got more on your chin than under your arms
29:14Yes
29:15This week it was a new action-packed drama that had us gripped on sky
29:19I feel like a prisoner in this house
29:21Because whenever i leave it
29:23Dad goes where are you going
29:24I'm going out with my friends
29:25Which friend where are you going
29:27What seems to be a common theme here is that it's me asking everyone where they're going
29:31Yeah
29:31We can't ask you
29:33If we asked you
29:34We'll soon come
29:35That's not true
29:37Yes it is
29:43I like a thriller i do
29:45Looks all action this one's you'd have done it
29:47You'd actually do well in prison because someone would take you under their wing as their
29:50Bitch
29:50Yeah so be looked after
29:52Yeah
29:53Well you can't really knock that can you
29:55No
29:56In the episode we joined a police briefing about taking down a crime boss
30:01Putting harrison dempsey away is the only thing that anyone in this room cares about
30:05He's got that megamind situation going on
30:08Yeah that's a big head full of ideas
30:11And the success of a guilty verdict rests on the testimony of one man
30:15Who who who
30:16Tibor stone is the most precious asset we have
30:20So he's the snitch
30:21Yeah huh
30:22And he's going to grass up his boss
30:23So we should expect that they will do anything to stop him taking that stand in four days time
30:28And i mean anything
30:30Well yeah
30:31Of course they will work they
30:32What
30:32He's going to be like a hot potato this guy
30:34Absolutely he does look like hot property doesn't he
30:36This looks marvellous doesn't it
30:39I love this program already
30:45Warner gary category c is transferred from stratton
30:48Ah they transport the prisoners
30:50Oh okay
30:51Right to and from
30:52Cool yeah yeah yeah
30:54Got a weird one for you
30:55Our head office just had a call from the national crime unit
30:58They want us to make an additional pickup
30:59Oh it's him
31:01It's that guy what's his name
31:03It's an overnight transfer
31:05Under armed guard
31:06Oh okay
31:07As soon as they say armed guard
31:09You've got to start thinking
31:10Thinking who the hell is it
31:12Yeah yeah
31:13And what has he done
31:19Oh look at this
31:21This is proper
31:21This is the safe house
31:23In the middle of nowhere
31:25Also known as the grim house
31:26I was going to say
31:27Well look lively here it comes
31:34God he looks like a right scary bastard
31:36I know sexy isn't it
31:42Binoculars Pedro
31:44Somebody's watching
31:56Binoculars
31:56He's on the road
31:57They've got him
31:58Yeah
32:02Oh god through a tunnel
32:04You don't want to go through a tunnel
32:10Oh
32:10Oh shit
32:11Get lost
32:12This is a set up
32:13As soon as that happened
32:15I'd say
32:16Do it your way
32:17Back out
32:18Yeah
32:21Something's off
32:22Of course it is
32:22I can tell that from here
32:23They're like sitting dots right now
32:25Do something
32:29Oh
32:29Oh
32:30Oh
32:30It's a drone
32:31Bloody drone
32:36Oh
32:36Ow
32:37Oh
32:37Oh shit
32:38Hey
32:39It's a drone gun
32:44Oh get down
32:47Oh no
32:50Oh my god
32:53Can you drone really do all of that
32:55Apparently so
32:58Open the door
33:01She can't open the door
33:03She's injured you silly dick
33:08Oh she is
33:08She's going to open the door
33:09She's going to go and open the door
33:11If I was her
33:11Just stay where I was
33:12Wouldn't you
33:13Pretend to be dead
33:14I would
33:14Yes
33:18Cuffed him
33:19Oh don't strap yourself to him
33:21You ninny
33:21Why would you do that
33:23What he's doing
33:24So you can't run
33:25Is she alright
33:26This is not the time
33:27Who gives a fuck
33:28She's saying
33:29You're so you can't run
33:30I'd have to let him piss off
33:31Wouldn't you
33:34Oh no no no
33:35Oh the old petrol's coming out
33:37Yeah
33:40It's going to go kaboomski this
33:45Oh nice
33:47Run
33:47Run
33:50That's that woman
33:51What woman
33:53Oh the woman with the short hair
33:54That was looking through his binoculars
33:59You need to run faster than that
34:01I'm telling you man
34:01She's coming
34:04We've got to get off this road
34:06Oh where'd you get off of that road
34:07Oh there's a river underneath so
34:10Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait
34:12What are you doing
34:12Oh fuck that
34:14No
34:14You can't jump in the water
34:18Oh here she comes
34:19Hurry hurry hurry
34:20Quick
34:21Quick oh my good
34:22Oh my god
34:22Okay
34:22Just go
34:23Just go
34:24go on
34:24Go on
34:25Come on get your ass over here
34:26Ready
34:27just wait
34:29wait wait wait
34:34I don't know why Amber agreed to jump with him.
34:38I don't think she had much choice, though.
34:39You see, people who are that invested in the job do frighten me a little bit.
34:44You know, I'm going to die because somebody's, you know,
34:48trying to get out of prison, but I'll be opening the back door and go,
34:50go on, Tom, off your foot.
35:00What have you been on this weekend?
35:02Because you've been really quiet.
35:03Well, I was getting over the weekend.
35:06So that, you know, came into it.
35:08But I've been, well, I did my meal plan.
35:10How do you stick to that?
35:11I didn't. I ordered Coco Pops.
35:14Best friends Danielle and Daniela.
35:16That is literally like going to the supermarket,
35:19buying all the healthy food, avoiding the sweet aisle,
35:21getting home and getting a takeaway.
35:24Yeah.
35:24However, I deleted my McDonald's app.
35:27Oh, that's a bold move.
35:29Yeah.
35:30After I went to the drive-thru and used all my points
35:32on a double cheeseburger and an apple pie.
35:38Your diets are my favourite.
35:41You know, if anybody says to me, what type of diet do you want,
35:43I'd be like, Danielle is.
35:46On Friday night, Channel 4's starry-eyed singles
35:49were flirting up a storm again.
35:52Are you dating anyone, Sean?
35:54No.
35:54Are you seeing anyone?
35:56No.
35:56Are you looking up with anyone?
35:57No.
35:58Are you talking to anyone?
35:59No.
36:00You wouldn't tell us if you was, would you?
36:01No.
36:02It's your wedding anniversary soon, actually.
36:0522nd of May.
36:08Isn't that Eva's birthday?
36:10No.
36:10It was his 27th of May.
36:12Right.
36:13I'm going to get a couple of cards then.
36:19I think I might have been sober for my first date with Josh.
36:23Really?
36:24I'm surprised he stuck around.
36:25I'm boring when I'm sober.
36:26No, you had 12 Long Island iced teas, didn't you?
36:29That was when we got together again.
36:31This is 26-year-old electrician Jordan and his mum, Kelly.
36:36Why not go on a date with his son?
36:37No.
36:37He brought his mum along?
36:39No.
36:39I'd walk out the restaurant.
36:40Mum and son on a date?
36:41That's disgusting.
36:42Jordan, no, they're not dating each other.
36:46Nice to see you.
36:47Nice to meet you.
36:48So, what's happening here?
36:50Even Fred's freaked out.
36:51Is it father and daughter?
36:53Fred's trying to turn it up.
36:55You two sisters?
36:57First time doing this.
36:59Why?
36:59It's just a nice thing to do, isn't it?
37:01It is.
37:02Yeah.
37:02No.
37:03Tell me, what do you do for my living?
37:05I'm a student at the moment in Bristol.
37:07I'm studying forensic science.
37:09Is that Jordan's date?
37:10Don't tell me she's brought a fucking dad.
37:12Oh, she's lovely.
37:13Has she brought a dad?
37:14Are you ready for your date?
37:15Yes, I am.
37:16I am.
37:16I am.
37:17Is he here?
37:17Yes.
37:18So is your mother-in-law.
37:21Hi.
37:21Hiya.
37:22Hi.
37:22Amy, nice to meet you.
37:24Nice to meet you, Jordan.
37:25How are you?
37:26You all right?
37:26Yeah, I'm so good.
37:27How are you?
37:28Good.
37:28Oh, my God.
37:29Oh, my God.
37:29This is so awkward.
37:31Already.
37:31Already.
37:32Who's this lady?
37:34She has no idea.
37:35No.
37:35Introduce your mum.
37:36Introduce your mum.
37:37What's the dynamic here?
37:38Sorry.
37:38This is my mum.
37:40I'm on a date as well.
37:41Oh, I'm on a date.
37:43There we go.
37:44Should have done that in the first place, Jordan.
37:47There you go.
37:47It's broken the ice now.
37:48That's better.
37:50Being he's the right man for the job is Carpenter John.
37:54Oh!
37:56Carpenter John.
37:57I like the look of John.
37:58Oh!
37:59John's a fitter.
38:01I'm John.
38:01Hi, John.
38:02I'm Kelly.
38:03Nice to meet you.
38:04And you.
38:04Well, that's a good start.
38:05They're both checking each other out there.
38:06Did you see that?
38:07These actually make a nice couple.
38:09You've got big arms.
38:10Yes.
38:11Must be arms.
38:11I've got some guns.
38:12Yeah, you are.
38:13Oh, my God.
38:14That's a compliment, sir.
38:15Kelly's got bigger arms than John.
38:17Go for the full bingo card and say she's got big thighs and all.
38:20Yeah.
38:20Thunder thighs.
38:21Lovely.
38:22You've got a fast house, haven't you?
38:24That's nice.
38:25Thank you very much.
38:25Do you like guns with muscles?
38:26Yeah.
38:27Oh, that's all right, then.
38:28Oh, she seems quite into it.
38:29She's enjoyed it, started showing off the guns.
38:32What do you do?
38:33I'm a carpenter.
38:34OK.
38:34I could wear my hands.
38:35So you like to play with tools as well?
38:37I've got tools.
38:38Oh, I like...
38:39That was flirty.
38:41What about you?
38:42I'm a dominatrix.
38:44Ha!
38:46Dominatrix?
38:46Is that not an acrobat?
38:48I had a boyfriend once who liked me to spank him with a frying pan.
38:51For heaven's sake.
38:52I do...
38:54..pegging.
38:56..spanking.
38:56Excuse me?
38:57What's pegging?
38:59It's...
38:59Google it.
39:01From what I believe it is,
39:03it will involve some type of instrument and a buttocks.
39:09OK, all right, moving on.
39:10Wait, wait, wait, wait!
39:12I mean...
39:13The amount of money that I get paid per hour
39:16is quadruple what I was earning in the fitness industry.
39:20To be fair, Lee, she's honest.
39:24Yeah, she's honest.
39:24Because a lot of people wouldn't come out and say this on a first date.
39:27It's relieved a lot of the anxiety and pressure
39:30that comes with being a single parent.
39:32So if she were on minimum wage, say, for the fitness industry,
39:35she's on nearly 50 quid an hour per gig.
39:38Fucking hell.
39:39Might have to have a little career change myself.
39:42Like, I'm OK with whatever you think.
39:44It's fine.
39:46You're supporting your family.
39:47Why not?
39:48But still, even if he doesn't judge her harshly,
39:52he probably won't want to date her
39:55because he'd be frightened of being manacled or pegged.
39:58So, guys, would you like to see one another again?
40:02I'll go first, if that's all right.
40:04He's going to say yes.
40:05If he's going first, he's going to say yes.
40:06Come on, John.
40:07I totally respect what you do and everything.
40:09I think you're gorgeous.
40:09I would definitely say yes.
40:11Oh, he didn't mince his words either, did he?
40:12He was like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
40:14Absolutely.
40:15I like that.
40:16Isn't that sweet, Natty?
40:19Isn't it sweet?
40:20Yeah, I'd like to go on another date again and see.
40:24Just see where it went.
40:25Yeah.
40:25It's a double yes.
40:26Oh.
40:27Oh, we were totally wrong.
40:29We know nothing.
40:31That's off to it.
40:32You know, you do what you need to do to provide for your family.
40:35You know, I'd be a dominatrix if I needed to be.
40:38Yeah, you'd peg some one if the kids needed feeding.
40:42Fucking absolutely.
40:45You'd be out pagging with the rest of them.
40:48They call me Paggy Mitchell.
40:53In Wiltshire...
40:54These steaks were advertised.
40:56Ask at the butcher's counter for their steaks, Mary.
41:00Half price.
41:01Why do you have to bring steaks out in this room?
41:03Giles and his wife, Mary.
41:06OK, shall I put my initial on it?
41:08Absolutely not.
41:09That's the daddy steak.
41:10That's the biggest one.
41:11That's the mummy steak, the second biggest one.
41:14And the daughter will have the smallest steak, Mary.
41:18Yeah, it's time you grew up, Charles.
41:20Yeah, I'm just...
41:21Right, I'm going to write my initials.
41:23Oh, for God's sake, don't.
41:24My initials on my steak.
41:26Nobody will notice even if you do write them on.
41:29G, I'm going to write it in the fat, Mary, just so there's no quibble.
41:36It's a no-quibble guarantee that I get my own steak.
41:41Do you want me to write M on yours?
41:43Absolutely not.
41:44M.
41:45Stop it!
41:45On Monday, it was manoeuvres at Number 10 that were making the headlines on the BBC.
41:52It's interesting times, Tracer.
41:54That's an understatement.
41:56Countries upside down and back to front and turned inside out.
41:59That's true.
42:00I need some popcorn for this.
42:02Let's see the end of an era, Natty.
42:06What are you talking about?
42:08Starmer.
42:08Oh.
42:09The Prime Minister has insisted he will not walk away despite the disastrous election results last week.
42:14He's not going as they're kicking and screaming.
42:16He's hanging on tooth and nail.
42:18But more than 50 Labour MPs have now called for him to go or to set a date to leave.
42:24I give him an end of the week.
42:25Imagine being at work and being told to quit by everybody and going, no.
42:31Yeah.
42:32You need to quit.
42:33Get out.
42:34Sakia says he's proved his doubters wrong in the past and will do so again.
42:38He's a stubborn bugger, isn't he?
42:40Well, you can't just have somebody that's going to roll over, can you?
42:44And I suppose, if anything, it's showing he's got integrity.
42:47Exactly.
42:48That's what I think.
42:49In a crucial speech this morning, he admitted his government had made mistakes,
42:53but said he'd got the big political choices right.
42:56Which big political choices did he get right?
42:58By not joining the Americans against...
43:00Yeah, give him that.
43:02Give him that, actually.
43:02In that fight against Iran.
43:04I mean, the one thing is, I would say, is there's a humility to him that I quite like.
43:09He does at least say that people are, I get it, I get it.
43:13And what are the actual options?
43:15I get it.
43:16You've been saying that for years, Keir.
43:18You don't get it, otherwise you would have got it long ago, mate.
43:21I feel it.
43:23And I take responsibility.
43:25It's just a load of bull, isn't it?
43:27It's all words.
43:28That's the annoying thing for me.
43:30I know I have my doubters.
43:32Doubters?
43:32It's not doubters.
43:33Doubters.
43:34We're not doubting you.
43:35We're certain.
43:36We're certain that you're rubbish.
43:38I won't be able to handle that pressure.
43:40What Keir's down was under, I'd have thrown in a towel.
43:43I'd quit jobs for much less.
43:45You have for much, much less.
43:46And I know I need to prove them wrong, and I will.
43:50No, you won't be able to, because we already know you've cocked up.
43:54It's like an ex begging into it.
43:56I just want one more chance.
43:58Just one more.
43:59I'll do anything.
44:00I'll change.
44:02Sir Keir Starmer's back against the wall.
44:04He was noticeably more angry, more passionate than we often see him.
44:08The blazer's off.
44:09He's got no tie on either.
44:11The blazer's off, the button's undone, and he's ready to box the nation.
44:15Yeah.
44:16I am their prime minister, and this is their government.
44:20A little bit of emotion there.
44:22Yeah.
44:22No, good bit of emotion.
44:23Slightly arousing.
44:24Not arousing.
44:25Rousing.
44:27Really, darling?
44:28It was slightly rousing.
44:29Not arousing.
44:31The conversations about the prime minister's possible successes are still feverish.
44:36There's the mayor of Greater Manchester, Andy Burnham.
44:39Andy Burnham can't, because he's not an MP.
44:40He's doing an all right job as a mayor, and we'd lose that for him to be the prime minister.
44:44So, leave him with Manchester, he's all right for a minute, isn't he?
44:47Then there's the former deputy prime minister, Angela Rayner.
44:50No, we're not having air.
44:51The sea vultures circling round there, praying there.
44:53Yeah, yeah.
44:54Angela Rayner and Andy Burnham.
44:57He's thinking I'll pick the knives out of my back when I get home.
45:00Then there is the health secretary, Wes Streeting, whose supporters would prefer things to move
45:05quickly before Andy Burnham can find himself a seat.
45:09Well, Andy Burnham has a proven record of competence, you see, with Manchester, so it would be good.
45:17But also, Wes has a very good sense of humour, and he's not that incompetent.
45:24And all afternoon here, one after another, yet more Labour MPs saying the prime minister has to go.
45:33Jesus, they're all jumping on the bandwagon now, aren't they?
45:36I just think all these lot that think that Keir Starmer's going to throw in towel are pissing in wind.
45:42Because he ain't going to go.
45:43He's not going down without a thine.
45:45No, he ain't, is he?
45:46They were fighting for his life out there today.
45:48Do you remember that poster that was, like, in the 90s?
45:50It was everywhere.
45:51It's just, like, hanging in there and a cat on a washing line?
45:54Yeah.
45:55How long can he cling on for?
45:57I feel like that's Keir Starmer right now.
45:59Do you know who I think could be a good new prime minister?
46:01You know, and I know I'm a little bit biased when I say this, but Nitro from Gladiators.
46:07Because he's tough and he's strong to put up with any shit off anybody.
46:11Yeah, but he probably...
46:12But he's also got it all up here, he's got it all sussed out.
46:14He probably doesn't know anything about economics.
46:17You don't need to, do you? These have proved that.
46:30The U.S. has finally said I'd do to the marital maelstrom of maths on E4,
46:35starting Monday at 8 with friends and family grilling on overdrive.
46:38Channel 4 is here for major new drama,
46:40with Keely Horse and Papa Isidu craving the tender and the taboo.
46:44Falling begins Tuesday night at 9.
46:46More faithful flirtings up next, and brand new First Oats.
46:49Perfect, perfect world.