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00:02And we're live in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
00:11Welcome to the naughtiest show on television.
00:15Coming to you live from Carinium Studios.
00:18Uncensored.
00:19Tonight we'll be bringing you the stories they don't want you to hear.
00:22We name the breakfast television presenter who's been staying up late with Ladies of the Night.
00:26And as rumours circulate about a famous pop star's homosexuality, our celebrity panel wanders.
00:31Who are the poofs of pop?
00:34But first, love and prayers from everyone at Carinium.
00:37For our beloved leader, Lord Battingham.
00:41Fuck you!
00:43Everyone at Carinium has been shocked and saddened by his tragic accident.
00:46Don't you ever stop, I'm here with you.
00:52Lord Battingham, Tony, wasn't just our boss.
00:55He was our family.
01:16What's happening?
01:17But it takes more than a little bump to the head to keep Tony batting him down.
01:26Help me.
01:36Help me.
01:48Help me.
01:48Help me.
01:48Help me.
01:49Help me.
01:49Help me.
01:49Help me.
01:49Help me.
01:49Hold it.
01:50Hold it closely.
01:51Let's take it away.
01:55All I needed was the love you gave.
01:59All I needed for another day.
02:02And all I ever knew.
02:06Only you.
02:11Sometimes when I think of you knew.
02:14When it's only a game.
02:16And I knew.
02:19Listen to the words that you say.
02:22It's not too hard to say.
02:25When I see you.
02:27How long does this drive?
02:30Oh my god.
02:31Look at the size of this place.
02:33All I needed for another day.
02:39Welcome to Bella Vista.
02:42Val's had her eye on this since we moved to Green Lawns.
02:45It's nice though.
02:45Been right here in Penscombe.
02:47Near Rupert and you lot.
02:48We brought our swimming costumes.
02:49Ah.
02:50Well Val's got some rules.
02:51No running, pushing, ducking, bombing or skinny dipping.
02:56What about heavy petting?
02:58Go for your life.
02:58I'll just keep your cozies on.
03:02Baby!
03:03Come on!
03:06Here they are.
03:08I've invited the polo team members to some swimming.
03:11Val's turned into a bloody circus.
03:13No.
03:14You alright lads?
03:15No.
03:18Freddie!
03:19Sebi and Dominic Carlisle.
03:20People call them the Heavenly Twins.
03:22Although they're not identical.
03:23Come on!
03:24Sebi's taller and apparently Dominic's got a big belly.
03:26Oh wow.
03:27Where's the pool Mr Jones?
03:30Follow me.
03:38Welcome to Bella Vista.
03:40We called it Bella Vista because it means nice view.
03:46It's so wonderful to be able to stand at the bottom of one's drive and not be able to see
03:50one's house.
03:51Right, if you'd like to go through.
03:53Shoes off everyone please.
03:57Who's there having a girl?
03:59One of Baz's stick chicks.
04:00I tell you what Patrick, only let beautiful people play polo.
04:03Where'd they let you play then?
04:04I'm the Patron of the Joneses Jets.
04:07Patron?
04:07Is that how polo people say it?
04:08Yeah, I just give them a load of money to sponsor the team and then they stick me on a
04:11pony and they set me up to score goals and look good.
04:13We're finally where we belong aren't we Fred Freds?
04:18Shall we?
04:25It's so nice to have a man around the house.
04:30Oh so nice to have a man around the house.
04:33Someone sweet who's glad he found you.
04:37Who will put his arms around you and his kisses just astound you.
04:41It's so nice.
04:43Oh a house is just a house without a man.
04:47He's the necessary evil in your plan.
04:51There are many things about him you just cannot do without him.
04:56Though it's just a constant game of cat and mouth.
05:00It's so nice to have a man around the house.
05:12DAD
05:12Taki?
05:13Do you make all these?
05:14Uh yes.
05:16Mmm.
05:19Pricked me with a fork?
05:21I'm done.
05:22Right.
05:23Net.
05:25Adventure meeting.
05:26Jacuzzi.
05:27Let's talk polo.
05:31It's our first chance of making TV.
05:33We're going to film the match,
05:35vlog the footage to the BBC,
05:36and show everyone that Ventura can cover sport.
05:39You people really want to watch polo?
05:41I love watching polo.
05:42It's the Russia Cup.
05:43This has been held on the estates since 1874.
05:45You sure you want me on Shelly on a horse?
05:48Pony.
05:48What?
05:49Anyway, with no bloody Rupert, our team's a manned out.
05:51Still no word for me.
05:53Or Cameron.
05:53Not even a bloody phone call.
05:55It's pandemonium at Carinium.
05:56No Cameron.
05:57Tony's still off work after his accident.
05:59I'm in charge of everything.
06:00But you're Ventura, what?
06:01I'm double agenting Henry.
06:03Remember?
06:03Oh, yes.
06:04Sorry, Charles.
06:05I hate to admit it,
06:06but I was under the impression
06:07we had already won the franchise, huh?
06:09We won the race to compete against Carinium.
06:11Jesus, Henry.
06:12It's a good thing I'm hiring proper staff.
06:14The Prime Minister's really quite ticked off.
06:16The general election stays away,
06:17and nobody's heard from him.
06:18Stop it.
06:18Last time he got himself lost in a sex marathon,
06:20he didn't come up for a month.
06:27Devil's Egg, your holiness.
06:31Lady Hampshire.
06:31Why not, Mrs. Jones?
06:33Oh, no, please.
06:35Call me Marcy.
06:36Have we told you that Wayne is starting Eton in September?
06:40We're very proud of him.
06:44How did he get in?
06:45Did Freddie donate a computer, that?
06:48Well, now he passed the exam.
06:55No!
06:58No!
07:00No!
07:02Come on, William!
07:04War of Apollo!
07:06Willis!
07:07Wait, wait, wait, wait!
07:09Wait, wait, wait!
07:10Wait, wait, wait!
07:11Wait, wait!
07:11Wait, wait, wait!
07:11So don't die!
07:13You don't know where you need a call!
07:15You'll kill it, you'll kill it, you'll kill it, you'll kill it.
07:30I really didn't want to see my brother completely naked, but I saw the Carlisle twins' bits.
07:35I'm taking that to the win.
07:37I thought Sebi's willy was nicer.
07:40Have you still not heard anything more from your septic?
07:42Oh, he was never my serb. His letter was lovely and his new job stands amazing.
07:45Stomped you in a letter, the shame.
07:47Have you heard from Cameron since she's been off shagging Rupert, dipstick?
07:55Tag?
07:56What's the matter?
08:03Rupert kissed me.
08:05Fucking fuck!
08:06What?
08:07Where?
08:08In the kitchen.
08:09No, I meant where did he kiss you?
08:11Oh, on the mouth.
08:12Yeah, he said such lovely things and then the next day he just disappeared.
08:16Oh, Tag.
08:18So he couldn't breathe without me.
08:21I just don't believe he would say that and then just disappear.
08:26Doesn't make sense.
08:29Something awful must have happened.
08:30And then the other night...
08:37Oh.
08:42Hey, man.
08:45Whoa.
08:47Oh.
08:52Oh, God.
08:56Oh, God.
08:57Oh, God.
09:05Plenty more where that came from.
09:07I mean, bringing me here, keeping me safe.
09:10Well, it's just good manners.
09:12Rupert, be serious for a moment.
09:16I promise I'll protect you.
09:18And I will.
09:20So you hide me here forever?
09:22Well, we don't have to stay in Devon.
09:25We're friends all over the world.
09:27We keep moving.
09:29Stay ahead of the game.
09:30Stay ahead of the game.
09:33Stay ahead of the game.
10:21Really well, Dad.
10:23We thought you were dead.
10:24Don't be daft, Camilla.
10:25That is invincible.
10:26Thank you, Beatrice.
10:27If you patch your belongings for school, the car will be waiting to take you back, girls.
10:31Archie will go by train.
10:33Listen to your mother.
10:35I should thank you, darling.
10:38You really don't remember anything.
10:43I got to the police.
10:44It's a complete blight.
10:46It's extraordinary, isn't it?
10:49It's very kind of you.
10:51Thanks for all, sir.
10:51It's your blood before you ever mow again.
10:55Yes, it's certainly very nice to be home.
10:58I know, I know, I know.
11:00Quite the end of theory's cliffhanger.
11:02The police will return in autumn.
11:08Thank you so much.
11:09Yes, it's splendid to be back home with the family.
11:12You too, Lady Gorsley.
11:13Good night.
11:18You should be heading up the wooden hill to Bevershire, Tony.
11:22I'll redress your wound for you.
11:24Let me look up down here.
11:26No cigars.
11:31Come on, dogs.
11:33Come on, dogs.
12:05I didn't clean it.
12:11Do you think she's gone back to America?
12:14She's gone to Rupert Campbell Black.
12:20Hunt the bitch down.
12:24From the moment he met Maud, he was infatuated.
12:27Words started pouring out of him.
12:29Everything he ever wrote was for her.
12:31This hugely magnetic woman who constantly rejected him.
12:35Anyone would think this was your biography, Declan.
12:37That's why it has to be me who tells the Yates story.
12:40I mean, documentaries are normally so dry.
12:43No offence, Mike.
12:44No.
12:45Maud gone.
12:46Married someone else just to get a rise out of Yates.
12:49What does Yates do?
12:51Tries to seduce her daughter.
12:53Sounds like EastEnders.
12:54Well, EastEnders did get 28 million viewers last month.
12:57Huh?
13:01Documentaries aren't presented by celebrities.
13:03Whatever next?
13:04Joanna Lovely on plumbing.
13:06Listen, we really do want your face back on the Beebold boy.
13:10Would you consider hosting breakfast time?
13:13Frank Bolf's on his way out.
13:14Right on to the mornings.
13:16Can I say, Jeremy, this is exactly what the BBC Documentary Department are looking for.
13:22New formats bring the wonders of the world to a wider audience.
13:25Declan O'Hara, Irish God, and British National Treasure.
13:29And who got his big break at the BBC?
13:31Look, it's relevant.
13:33It's noisy.
13:34It's informative.
13:35But gripping.
13:36Homework becomes entertainment.
13:39A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.
13:41In the most delightful way.
13:48We're all over here.
13:49Merci.
13:49You're all so kind.
13:50Thank you so much.
13:52Excuse me.
13:53So sweet.
14:08We came.
14:09We came.
14:12Sticks in the horror.
14:14Sticks in the horror.
14:21Your love is king.
14:25Crown you in my heart.
14:26Well, Catelyn fell asleep. Patrick has script notes for Ibsen and Taggy while she couldn't make head in her tail
14:32over the eejit.
14:33I mean, I love the play. It's just a really small part.
14:37You might blink and you miss me, right?
14:39I mean...
14:40You don't have to be kind, Declan. It's...
14:45I really appreciate you coming.
14:51House falling apart without me, is it?
14:53It's quieter.
14:54Hey!
14:56I mean, the kids seem okay.
14:57Sure, why wouldn't they be? You're doing a play. We're all very happy for you.
15:02They've offered me the tour.
15:05Right.
15:08That's...
15:09good news.
15:13But I really want to come home, once we've finished in London.
15:16Oh, thank God.
15:20But I meant what I said, Declan.
15:21I need to keep working.
15:24Understood.
15:28Are you dancing?
15:30Are you asking?
15:33No one else is.
15:35Never stopped us before.
15:37Your love is king.
15:41Never need to part.
15:43Your kisses ring.
15:46Round and round and round my head.
15:48Touching the very part of me.
15:50It's making my soul sing.
15:53I'm crying out for more.
15:55Your love is king.
16:00I'm coming home.
16:04I'm coming home.
16:09I'm coming.
16:20Touching the very part of me.
16:22It's making my soul sing.
16:25Tearing the very heart of me.
16:27I'm crying out for more.
16:41I'll just turn into a worthwhile trip.
16:45I had a meeting with Jeremy Bonington earlier.
16:48The BBC are interested in turning my mate's biography into a documentary.
16:55Why?
16:56I really want to film it in Sligo.
16:58And I'm playing Maud Gawne, right?
17:01If you were a West End star now, I couldn't afford you.
17:04Stage hands have more to do than me.
17:06Oh my God, the Christmas tree.
17:12I like the Christmas tree.
17:17What do you think of the new ending?
17:20Hmm.
17:22Yeah.
17:24I mean, it was sacrilegious, but it gave a new meaning, I suppose.
17:29You fucking bullshitter!
17:32The only thing the producers haven't changed is the ending.
17:35She still leaves her husband and children for a better life, but you wouldn't know that.
17:39Just as you didn't know, the Christmas tree fell over tonight because you didn't watch the play.
17:46Maud.
17:46Get out.
17:47Listen.
17:48The meeting has ran over.
17:50I had every intention of going.
17:51Don't fucking get out!
17:52Maud.
17:52Get up! Come on!
17:53Please don't.
17:54Just get out! Just fucking get out!
17:58Maud.
18:01Maud.
18:12Maud.
18:14Maud.
18:17Is that Terry Wogan?
19:34Sorry I'm late, darling.
19:35I've had a terrible headache.
19:47I've had a terrible headache.
19:51I've had a terrible headache.
19:54Turn around!
20:20Come on!
20:23Sit down.
20:35What the fuck is this?
20:37I'm giving you a choice.
20:38A choice?
20:41I tried to kill you, Tony.
20:44Well, because I hurt you and you were defending yourself. We both got a little carried away.
20:47I lay in that hospital bed and wondered what this meant for our relationship.
20:54I could have you punished.
20:56Sent you to prison.
20:58Can't imagine America would want me back after that.
21:01But then I thought of the alternative.
21:03And that is?
21:06Forgiveness.
21:10I've already told the police I don't remember anything.
21:12If you stay with Karina, stay with me, I will remember it was a simple accident.
21:24I love you, Cameron.
21:27No, you don't love me.
21:31You just want to be Rupert.
21:32Yeah.
21:34What kind of man have at all?
21:38Are you ready?
21:43This is so fun.
21:45Thank you very much.
21:48I'm ready.
22:08Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.
22:12Which one of you greased the front steps?
22:15Oh, seriously.
22:16Do be careful entering and exiting the building.
22:18My little slip could have been far, far worse.
22:21Thank goodness for Miss Madden.
22:23Joyce, I can always trust you to catch me when I fall.
22:26I would like to welcome back Cameron Cook, who's been taking time away to study the opposition.
22:34Her first-class espionage means we are now fully abreast of venturous plans and are ready to knock them out
22:41of the competition.
22:42Thank you, Miss Cook.
22:43There are no lengths you won't go in order to keep Carinium, this franchise bid, and all our livelihoods safe.
22:57Because, make no mistake, we are under attack.
23:02Venturer, led by Rupert Campbell Black and Declan O'Hara, will continue to solicit employees from our ranks to elicit
23:11confidential information.
23:13Those venturer gangsters have no scruples.
23:18So be on your guard.
23:20Trust no one.
23:23Oh, Charles, where's Charles Furman?
23:26Here, Tony.
23:27Charles has done a fantastic job covering Cameron's role while she's been away, so thank you, Charles.
23:32Now, Beatty and Sarah's Uncensored is demolishing the competition.
23:37The teams are gearing up to shoot series three of four men went to mow in September.
23:43Master Dog will be back.
23:44Bigger and barkier than ever.
23:47With James Verica back on presenting duties.
23:49Woof.
23:511987 is a franchise year, ladies and gentlemen, and we are at war.
23:57An eye for an eye, we'll take their fucking heads off!
24:02Oh, my God!
24:36Rupert.
24:36Sorry, Tag, not now.
24:39Bladdingham found out about Cameron and me.
24:41She thought he was going to kill her, so she walloped him.
24:44Shame she didn't succeed.
24:46That's why we had to get away.
24:48She was in danger.
24:49I had to protect her, but he found us.
24:52So why has she gone back to him?
24:53I don't know.
24:54She just got into the helicopter.
24:55Doesn't seem like Cameron.
24:57She's such a tough cookie.
24:58She was scared of him.
24:59We've got to get her out of there.
25:03Well, she's a big girl.
25:04If she's gone back to him, then maybe we've got to accept her.
25:07No, it's not like her.
25:08There's got to be something else going on.
25:09You're wrong, Rupert.
25:10She's definitely Team Carinium.
25:12She's back at Tony's side as if nothing ever happened.
25:15And there's something else.
25:17Tony says that we're now filming the polo match on Sunday.
25:20No.
25:21We're filming the polo match on Sunday.
25:23Sorry, Declan.
25:24It's all set.
25:25Carinium are filming the polo too.
25:29Well, let's get ready for a fight.
25:40Morning.
25:41Hello.
25:41Hmm.
25:43It's Rupert Campbell Black.
25:43Welcome to Ventura.
25:44Mike Maples.
25:45Oh.
25:45Excited to be here.
25:47Are you ready?
25:47Well, I left behind regular hours and a BBC pension to work for my Broadcasting Heroes Renegade
25:53Production Company.
25:54I've never been so poor or so happy.
25:57Ha, ha, ha.
25:59Mm, hmm.
26:03All right, I'm sure, Joel.
26:15All right.
26:18Okay.
26:19Mixing back is done.
26:19Right away.
26:24Come on beautiful day for it let's have a fair fight make the best team win you
26:35can make television without being a cunt Tony it's not really so much fun though
26:39is it go on Cameron what are you doing staying ahead of the game come on lads
26:49it's time for David to kick a liar's arse
27:09put on your red shoes and dance the blues
27:15let's dance to the song we're playing on the radio
27:24if you say run I'll run with you
27:31if you say hide you'll hide
27:38because my love for you would break my heart in two
27:45if you should fall into my arms tremble like a flower
27:59let's dance
28:06let's dance
28:08let's dance
28:09fulfill the grace you fall
28:15let's dance
28:23let's dance
28:25let's dance
28:26so sexy
28:27huh
28:28what
28:29this is my new favourite spot
28:31there's no one's actually here to watch polo they're here to watch each other
28:40I don't say I want to get Cameron back
28:43I don't say I want to get Cameron back
28:44one less complicated man to fall in love with
28:52polo polo the sport of kings four players per team four chuckers per game seven minutes per chucker
28:59look at all the pretty horses let's horse around horseplay
29:03par for the horse
29:04ponies
29:05can I get some water please
29:07what
29:07they're called ponies James
29:09you thought ponies were baby horses
29:10apparently not
29:11stupid game
29:12standby to record
29:13ha
29:14hmm
29:15floor standing by
29:16waiting for shot to clear we ready
29:18chukka chukka chukka chukka chukka chukka chukka chukka
29:20ok on camera one and action
29:22did you know James that polo is the oldest ball sport in the world dating back to 600 BC
29:27yes Sarah I did
29:29now viewers at home will be wondering why you're wearing that rather fetching jumpsuit
29:33are you auditioning for treasure hunt
29:35ha ha ha
29:38ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
29:40yucky
29:40oh my god
29:41oh my god
29:41yuck
29:41I'm so sorry oh my god
29:43this is polo Ralph Lauren
29:44dalej
29:44we have beetie standing by to take over
29:45I can feel it on me I can feel it on me
29:47Deidre strip James off
29:48oh she's already on it
29:51it's not on my trousers
29:52all the trousers just
29:53maybe in the van
29:56ladies and gentlemen welcome to the final of the rutscher cup at the estate of Lord and
30:01Lady Hampshire
30:01We have four-time winners and last year's champions, the Remington Steelers, playing against newcomers, the Jones Jets.
30:11The match is about to start.
30:13Stand by.
30:14Let's rock and roll!
30:23And go away!
30:32Lovely call.
30:33Come back against the Campbell Black.
30:39Who is it?
30:40On the way!
30:40On the way!
30:41Let's go!
30:42Campbell Black saves three to half, Jim.
30:45Come in!
30:46Go!
30:47Action is over.
30:48Go on, Freddy!
30:49Go on, Freddy!
30:51Go on, Freddy!
30:51Go on, Freddy!
30:52Go!
30:53Go, Freddy!
30:54Go, Freddy!
30:55Go!
31:01Come on, Freddy!
31:04Go!
31:04Yeah!
31:13What on earth is that woman doing?
31:15Oh, her high heels are stuck in the mud, Gwendolyn.
31:18She looks as though she needs to go to the moon.
31:23I'll get you some jumpers.
31:26It's wonderful to see you out and about again, Monica.
31:29Tony's accident must have been very hard on you.
31:33I'll get you some jumpers.
31:34We're all soldiering on now.
31:36Do let Hermione and me know if we can help at all.
31:39Yeah.
31:40Must we come out, big girls?
31:41Look out for one another.
31:44Well, I must say, Mrs. Stratton looks ready for action in her boiler suit.
31:48Ah, Sarah has a surprise for us after the final chuck, I reverend Penny.
31:51Enjoy that.
31:52Ooh, what's a surprise?
31:53Wouldn't be a fucking surprise if I told you, wouldn't it?
31:55Now, let's enjoy these fools getting beaten.
31:59Right back in it now, pushing hard.
32:02Not to pay for the trade for Johnny and Sebi, passing between each other.
32:07They cross the gasp, takes it, and that's the goal!
32:17And with the score now, and one goal apiece, it makes it even stevens at the end of the
32:23second chukka.
32:25My lords, ladies and gentlemen, please take to the pitch, or if I give it snap, please.
32:32Oh, sorry, sorry, come in.
32:35Sorry, he just loves telly.
32:38Which side are you on?
32:40Uh, corinium.
32:41Oh.
32:41I'm corinium.
32:42Ah.
32:44Is Master Dog coming back?
32:46Of course.
32:47Are you thinking of entering?
32:48Oh, David does not enjoy the spotlight.
32:51I like having my belly rubbed in front of Knott's Landing.
32:53Don't we all David?
32:55David Bow Wowie, if you please.
32:57Ah!
32:59Would you like to watch the filming with me?
33:01Could we?
33:02That's awfully kind of you.
33:04Charles, Bearburn.
33:06Muffy, short for Caroline.
33:13Sweaty work.
33:16Might go back to mine and, um, have a long shower.
33:20Who with?
33:21Me or my brother?
33:23We know you've been bonking both of us.
33:25Don't play a player, mate.
33:34It's like West Side Story.
33:36The two different sides coming together.
33:38Yeah.
33:39I guess it is.
33:42Do you go both ways then?
33:44Oh, uh, I just like sex.
33:48A lot.
33:49Oh.
33:51I haven't done it yet.
33:54I really want to, though.
34:02All set for the big surprise, team.
34:05Ready for the grand finale?
34:06Mm-hmm.
34:10I can't wait to come and see you tonight.
34:13Tonight can't come soon enough.
34:21James, James, are right back in the game now, running hard.
34:28And he scores!
34:30Yes, he's done!
34:32Yes!
34:41Is Rupert the Daddy, or is it James?
34:46We've been running to the ladies at work.
34:48The men around you may not have realised, but that's men.
34:52Right!
34:53Ready for launch.
34:55Sarah's so excited, she could burst.
34:57Ah, smile!
34:58We're going to be in Tattler.
35:00No, come on, crack your face, you're having fun.
35:03Little distance.
35:04That's enough, thank you.
35:05Let's get you up then, Sarah.
35:08We discussed it.
35:09It's really very simple.
35:10You jump out of the plane, the parachute pops open.
35:13You just float like a little butterfly.
35:15Thrilling!
35:15Down into the field, everyone applauds, lovely, lovely.
35:19Is there a problem?
35:21No?
35:22Come on.
35:26We'll look after her.
35:27Good luck.
35:30Tony, I'm pregnant.
35:32Ah, speak up, woman.
35:33I'm pregnant!
35:36Oh, you are the face of two primetime television shows.
35:39This is hugely inconvenient.
35:42Well, we'll have to start auditioning for replacements on Monday, then, Deirdre.
35:46Come along, then.
35:46Let's get you up on the plane.
35:47No, no, I can't.
35:49Tony, I can't.
35:52I have four camera crews, 12 photographers, the whole of Roger waiting for a fucking surprise.
35:57Who's going to jump out of the bloody plane, then?
36:07No, we have to go.
36:08The final chucker, Camber James, jet speed off the Remington Steelers.
36:12The plane, it is capital-black.
36:14The outside, that's a lovely bit of work by him.
36:16Look at the plane, they ride him off.
36:18They can't do it.
36:19They're struggling to get hold of him, and he's still there.
36:22Campbell-black going right-backed.
36:24He's going to have the point.
36:25He's going to go and throw to it.
36:26He's going to score for Mertens.
36:28It's a bloody old side shot.
36:29And that's a good one.
36:33He's going to score for Mertens.
36:38He's going to get hold of him.
36:38The James Jets are winners of the Roger Cup.
36:57and a lager for mr. Jones please he looks thirsty you put it in there for me
37:08I can't stop thinking about you
37:13me too
37:16it's like a beautiful dream I had
37:34great freight didn't he do well
37:37it was wonderful well played Freddie I worried he was too tubby for polo hey
37:43that poor all could you take a picture of us
37:47can you give the camera to mrs. very cut okay I'm not great
38:18please
38:22I think it's best we keep away from each other.
38:27It's going to be quite hard.
38:29Us being neighbours now and everything.
38:33It's hurting my heart.
38:46My lords and ladies and gentlemen,
38:48some quiet, please.
38:49We are delighted as ever to host you all
38:53here in the grounds of our humble home.
38:55And this year with even more joy in our hearts than usual, because...
38:59The day Hermione and I thought would never arrive
39:01is finally on the horizon.
39:03After her sterling work for the Spazdicks
39:06and rebuilding that school in Ghana,
39:09our beloved Caroline is getting married.
39:13We are delighted to announce the engagement
39:17of our daughter, Caroline Margaret.
39:21Yes.
39:22To Mr. Gerald Middleton.
39:25Come up, Gerald.
39:26APPLAUSE
39:30To Gerald and Muffy, everyone.
39:49It's been a wonderful day for Carinium.
39:50Well, personally, may I say how fabulous it is to have you back at the helm, Tony.
39:54Stronger than ever.
39:54And the worst for my little adventure.
39:56Yes, and before Carinium's big surprise today,
40:00just to confirm for some concerned viewers at home,
40:03this was an accident.
40:05It wasn't due to any foul play.
40:07I slipped on the steps outside Carinium in Tali Manford.
40:10Perhaps I should wear trainers instead of brogues, unfortunately.
40:13Well, thank you for putting all our minds at rest.
40:15Welcome.
40:15And cut.
40:16Terrific, Tony. Well done.
40:17Excellent.
40:18Thanks, Tony.
40:21Glad we got the truth on record.
40:24No threat of police for me.
40:26No public scandal for you.
40:28Win-win, right?
40:34Hold on, guys.
40:51You stayed ahead of the game.
40:53I did.
40:59That's what it is.
41:03That's what it is.
41:07Mikey, Mikey, shoot it.
41:10Right.
41:11Roll on the parachute.
41:15Oh, my God.
41:48And finally, to today's rupture car pack in Hampshire Estates,
41:51with this exclusive footage brought to us by Venturer Television.
42:00The match was won by satellite technology mogul,
42:03Freddie Jones's Jones Jets,
42:05with Mrs. Thatcher's Minister for Sport, Rupert Campbell Black,
42:08back in action, helping to score the winning goal.
42:10And the behind-the-scenes fiasco Tony Baddingham didn't want you to see,
42:14as a Carinium employee humiliates himself
42:17after crash-landing his parachute into a tree.
42:21Oh, poor chap.
42:22I hope he's all right.
42:24In the ICB franchise battle between television titan Carinium
42:28and the newly formed Venturer Television,
42:30it was Venturer who won the day.
42:32What?
42:35May I speak with you, Tony?
42:36Oh, this is getting extremely dull, Sarah.
42:39If you want to keep your job,
42:41your little inconvenience needs to be flushed away.
42:43It's yours.
42:45It's yours.
42:48It's your baby, Tony.
42:59I'm scared.
43:03Long day, darling.
43:06What's for dinner?
43:09I have to admit, today was embarrassing.
43:13Oh, darling, I'm sorry.
43:14Not for me.
43:15For you.
43:16You let her humiliate you
43:18in front of our friends,
43:21in front of your children.
43:24I defied my father and my whole family
43:27when I agreed to exchange this house for your surname, Tony.
43:31There will be no more lies.
43:34Or I will hurt you
43:36far more than any mistress ever could.
43:40You want to win so badly.
43:44You make yourself very easy to beat.
43:49Oh, dog.
43:51Oh.
44:00Why didn't you tell me you were Jerry's chum?
44:02I just can't believe it.
44:03You're going to be a proper little gang,
44:05the three of us.
44:06Well, the four of us.
44:08This must be what love does to you.
44:09I'd completely forgotten about David.
44:11I'm just not mounting Gertrude in the garden.
44:14Oh, Christ.
44:17Oh.
44:19You should have told me she was Henry's daughter.
44:22Sorry, Charles.
44:22I wanted to speak to you first.
44:24And tell me you're into Muffy.
44:28I like her.
44:30Do you think it'll work?
44:32Our plan.
44:33Worth a try, isn't it?
44:35I mean, they were exciting last two chuckers in the world.
44:38I played some chuckers in my time.
44:39That's all right.
44:40Thank you, Angel.
44:44We did it.
44:45You did it.
44:47How did you manage to hold your nerve?
44:50Oh, I held on to Rupert and waited until Tony publicly absolved me.
44:55If he goes to the police now, he'll just look foolish.
44:57Tony would never let that happen.
44:58We better be careful.
45:00He'll be out for blood.
45:01I'm glad you got out alive, though.
45:03Well, I got out alive, but without my car or my apartment.
45:07Well, you're coming to live with me.
45:11Pensacola Court.
45:13You mean that?
45:15Of course.
45:34You know what?
45:35I'll just, um, be back in a sec.
45:50I need to explain.
45:58Cameron came to me for protection.
46:01I had to get her away quickly, keep her safe from Tony, do the right thing.
46:09I'm trying to behave honorably.
46:13Did you sleep with her immediately, or did you honorably hold off for one night?
46:17I was already sleeping with Cameron before I kissed you.
46:19Well, then you shouldn't have kissed me.
46:20No, I shouldn't have kissed you.
46:27It's true, what everyone says about you.
46:32You aren't capable of love.
46:38Dad.
46:38Please, get out of my kitchen.
47:00People say that life isn't a fairy tale.
47:04That happy ever after doesn't exist.
47:07But what if you just haven't found the person who'll give you your happy ending?
47:12It's up to you to give yourself the love you deserve.
47:19However, be prepared.
47:21With love may also come war.
47:24And every war has its casualties.
47:29Welcome home.
47:40It's peculiar.
47:44Dogs?
47:52Get the fuck out of my house.
47:57You know, it's only a matter of time before he did Shishi Cameron.
48:00Six days.
48:01Six weeks.
48:03He might even keep you six months to venture a finally.
48:06Don't get the franchise.
48:07Then he'll kick you out like all the rest.
48:09Why are you here, Tony?
48:11Oh.
48:14I brought you a housewarming present.
48:20I don't need evidence to punish you.
48:24The retribution I have planned will be far more painful.
48:28This is going to be fun.
48:29This is going to be fun.
48:32This is going to be fun.
48:33This is going to be fun.
48:33This is going to be fun.
48:34This is going to be fun.
48:34This is going to be fun.
48:34This is going to be fun.
48:34This is going to be fun.
48:34This is going to be fun.
48:35This is going to be fun.
48:35This is going to be fun.
48:36This is going to be fun.
48:36This is going to be fun.
48:36I'll see you next time.