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Since the beginning of her career as a plus-size model, Tess Holliday has had to fend off degrading comments about her weight, health, and validity as a woman. We sit down with her to hear how she fights the harassment and spreads body positivity all around the world.

This video was originally published on Vice and is being repurposed by Refinery29.

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The Scarlet Letter Reports takes an in depth look at the lives of the women profiled and how they are living today. We move away from a more sterile studio environment, and interview the women in their homes, giving our audience a glimpse inside the day to day activities of some of the worlds most infamous women.

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Transcript
00:00Tess Holliday is no stranger to being body shamed.
00:03Since the beginning of her career as a plus-size model, she's had to fend off degrading comments
00:09about her weight, her health, and her validity as a woman.
00:12But Tess's appearance on the cover of the UK Cosmopolitan magazine brought out responses
00:17that took the hate to a whole other level.
00:19You shouldn't promote and advocate that that is acceptable.
00:23They're hailing her as brave.
00:24I mean, what's brave about eating ice cream?
00:26Look at the picture.
00:27I mean, her blood type is pudding.
00:29Me existing will always upset people on some level because we're told as a society, being
00:38fat is one of the worst things that you can be, especially as a woman.
00:43I'm Amanda Knox, and having had my own personal life picked apart by the public for years,
00:49I want to know how women today are pushing to be seen on their own terms.
01:01Despite her success, Tess has received a lot of heat throughout her career.
01:06I want to talk to her about her process of managing that scrutiny and using it to help other people
01:14like her.
01:16Hi.
01:17That's cute.
01:18We're just, you know, picking out some fish prints.
01:21Hello.
01:21Nice to meet you.
01:22Nice to meet you.
01:23My husband there.
01:24Hello.
01:24Hello.
01:25Hello.
01:26Do you guys vintage together often?
01:28Is that like a family affair?
01:30We do.
01:31You know, whenever we find a piece that fits her, we snatch it up because there's not that many.
01:35But you're like a dream because you're the actual size for all of this.
01:40With her face on magazines worldwide and a loving family at home, Tess seems to be living the perfect mix
01:46of glam and grounded.
01:48But the path to where she is now hasn't been easy.
01:52I never thought that I would have this life.
01:55My mom used to always say, you're going to be famous one day.
01:58But like, that's just what moms say to their kids.
02:00Can you take me back to Laurel, Mississippi, where you grew up?
02:04When I think of growing up, I just, the trauma is just like what comes up for me.
02:13So, I was born in Laurel and then when we moved back after my mom, I'm just kind of throwing
02:19it in there,
02:19after my mom was shot, we, my life changed.
02:25When I was nine, my mom was engaged to a man who we all really liked.
02:32He got up one morning and said, I don't feel like going to work.
02:35And my mom said, that's fine.
02:37And she saw Tim coming through the kitchen with a gun.
02:44He shot her twice in the back of the head here.
02:47Oh God.
02:48And then he went to work.
02:50She was in a coma for a month.
02:52Woke up.
02:53She was able to let them know that Tim was the one who shot her.
02:57They arrested him.
02:58He only spent a couple years in prison for assault with a deadly weapon.
03:03Yeah.
03:04Really?
03:05Yeah.
03:05And because of all of that happening so early, I was just an extremely anxious and fearful child.
03:14My childhood was people making fun of my mom for being in a wheelchair.
03:19They made fun of us because we were poor, because I was fat.
03:22I was bullied to the point of my mom pulling me out of school.
03:27It took a lot for me to start breaking down the walls that I had around me and letting people
03:33love me.
03:35And I'm still surprised when I make friends now.
03:39And they're like, let's hang out.
03:41And in my head, I'm like, why?
03:43At the time, what were your coping mechanisms?
03:47Food.
03:48Food.
03:48I was going through how I arrived to start emotionally eating.
03:55And I remembered the exact moment I did.
03:57And I was sitting at my Aunt Marilyn's house, who was helping care for me.
04:03My mom didn't want me or my brother to see her while she was going through physical therapy.
04:09And my aunt made me a bowl of vegetable beef soup.
04:12And I remember feeling the warmth of the soup and feeling full.
04:18And I felt something.
04:20I remember thinking, this is how I'm going to get through this.
04:25And I still struggle with emotional eating.
04:30And it wasn't until modeling that I found a group of body positive bloggers and activists
04:39that were saying the terms, I love my body and I love myself.
04:45And I thought, what?
04:47And then a light bulb went off in my head and I thought, wait.
04:51I can actually love the way that I look now.
04:56Like, that's allowed.
04:57And once that happened, I was unstoppable.
05:02I feel like I need to put a hat on a view in solidarity.
05:06Tess's modeling career started by her posing for photos with friends and gathering an enthusiastic
05:11fan base online.
05:13When she launched hashtag F your beauty standards, a viral campaign for body positivity,
05:18she was pushed into the spotlight and her popularity skyrocketed.
05:22I really like this hat, but I don't know what I would wear.
05:25Do you have anything blue or sheer?
05:28Yes.
05:29Yeah, or just naked.
05:30Yeah, okay.
05:31My career's kind of been built on controversy by accident because I realized that by me existing,
05:38it offended people.
05:40For me, being, like, naked and raw is my act of, like, rebellion.
05:44Her online presence attracted the attention of modeling agencies.
05:48And in 2018, Tess marked a milestone, landing the cover of the UK Cosmopolitan magazine.
05:55I thought, like, I can't believe that this is happening.
05:57And I cried I don't know how many times on set.
06:01I had never seen, like, a body type like mine on a sexy magazine.
06:06It's a mixed bag of feeling really grateful and hopeful and also frustrated
06:11because every door that I break down, there's always going to be at least, like, 20 behind there.
06:20I don't think the answer is to just accept that you're morbidly obese.
06:26She's telling young girls it's okay to shove cupcakes down your throat.
06:30That's not positive.
06:33She's delusional.
06:34And I don't, I will never, men out there, just no, listen, we don't,
06:38a lot of us just don't like fat chicks.
06:39The backlash to Tess's Cosmo cover wasn't just online.
06:43Even celebrities like Piers Morgan felt like they had to weigh in.
06:47It's not right to encourage people to feel inspired.
06:52Bravo, Tess.
06:53I wish we could all be 300 pounds, too, like you.
06:56Why are you so obsessed with her?
06:58I'm obsessed with her.
06:59She, you are obsessed with her.
07:01Are you, like, ever tired of talking about your body?
07:05Mm-hmm.
07:07Yeah.
07:07I wish that when, I can never celebrate a success in my career without it having being,
07:14without it being picked apart about my size or my health.
07:18But it's, it's imagined health.
07:20It's not an actual health.
07:22Like, people don't actually care if I'm healthy or whatever.
07:26It's just them projecting and using it as a blanket to be an ass .
07:32How do you manage these different forms of, like, personal assault on your, like, your humanity?
07:42Every single thing that I do and share, I'm immensely proud of.
07:48Um, and it's, it's always really hard for me to not have it overshadowed.
07:54You know, that, that happens to me, too, where the things that I remember are always, like, the, the really
08:01bad stuff.
08:02Yeah.
08:02Like, you know, I, I've had someone talk about, like, in detail how he was going to, like, take apart
08:08my body and, like, and tell me why I deserved that.
08:11And I wonder, like, do you have, like, do you remember those voices?
08:18And, like, those voices, like, what were they saying to you?
08:22Um, that's so heavy.
08:27I don't even know how you look so beautiful while you're saying that right now.
08:32Um, mine's usually, no one will ever love you.
08:35No one will have sex with you.
08:37Those comments, I can remove myself.
08:40What hurts me when I was pregnant with Bowie, because I was a public figure at that time, and I
08:48didn't hide that I was pregnant.
08:50People would say that I was going to kill my baby because of my size.
08:54And so I constantly had that pressure in the back of my head where, like, God forbid something happened to
09:00me or my baby.
09:01They would blame it on the fact that I'm fat.
09:04How I keep all of that stuff from bothering me, which I don't have it all figured out.
09:11And I, I crumble sometimes.
09:13But I compare a lot to my childhood because I, I did grow up in a trailer in a cow
09:21pasture with no money.
09:23And so for me, when people are saying all of this stuff, I'm able to, like, take my head up
09:29from the phone, look around me.
09:32Nine times out of ten, I have my husband beside me.
09:37I have my two children that are happy and healthy.
09:41I have a four bedroom home and I get to be on the cover of, like, magazines and look the
09:47way that I do.
09:49I have created a life for myself that I only thought was literally a dream.
09:58I just think when you look at that image, you just kind of think, like, good for you.
10:03It's just good to show that beauty does have such a wide, wide spectrum.
10:09When I got a hold of a copy of this, I was just literally like, it's me.
10:13High time we see curvy ladies being portrayed in a sexy way.
10:19I wish that I had seen something like this when I was a teenager.
10:22I was in tears when I found out she was going to be on the cover.
10:25Because I think, I literally did not think this was going to be an emotional video.
10:34At the end of the day, I'm not doing this for people who don't get what I'm doing.
10:40I'm doing this for the folks that need to see some kind of representation or maybe feel a little less
10:47alone.
10:50Oh, that's cute.
10:53Well, thank you so much for sharing all of this with me.
10:56It's been fun.
10:57Yeah.
10:57I'm, like, emotionally exhausted.
10:59Oh, no. Sorry.
11:00But in a good way.
11:05My impression of Tess is that she is someone who has lived many lives already at 33.
11:12That she's someone who supports whole communities of people who look to her for answers and stability.
11:18And for someone who's gone through the hell that she's been through, that is extraordinary.
11:32You
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