00:00Tess Holliday is no stranger to being body shamed.
00:03Since the beginning of her career as a plus-size model, she's had to fend off degrading comments
00:09about her weight, her health, and her validity as a woman.
00:12But Tess's appearance on the cover of the UK Cosmopolitan magazine brought out responses
00:17that took the hate to a whole other level.
00:19You shouldn't promote and advocate that that is acceptable.
00:23They're hailing her as brave.
00:24I mean, what's brave about eating ice cream?
00:26Look at the picture.
00:27I mean, her blood type is pudding.
00:29Me existing will always upset people on some level because we're told as a society, being
00:38fat is one of the worst things that you can be, especially as a woman.
00:43I'm Amanda Knox, and having had my own personal life picked apart by the public for years,
00:49I want to know how women today are pushing to be seen on their own terms.
01:01Despite her success, Tess has received a lot of heat throughout her career.
01:06I want to talk to her about her process of managing that scrutiny and using it to help other people
01:14like her.
01:16Hi.
01:17That's cute.
01:18We're just, you know, picking out some fish prints.
01:21Hello.
01:21Nice to meet you.
01:22Nice to meet you.
01:23My husband there.
01:24Hello.
01:24Hello.
01:25Hello.
01:26Do you guys vintage together often?
01:28Is that like a family affair?
01:30We do.
01:31You know, whenever we find a piece that fits her, we snatch it up because there's not that many.
01:35But you're like a dream because you're the actual size for all of this.
01:40With her face on magazines worldwide and a loving family at home, Tess seems to be living the perfect mix
01:46of glam and grounded.
01:48But the path to where she is now hasn't been easy.
01:52I never thought that I would have this life.
01:55My mom used to always say, you're going to be famous one day.
01:58But like, that's just what moms say to their kids.
02:00Can you take me back to Laurel, Mississippi, where you grew up?
02:04When I think of growing up, I just, the trauma is just like what comes up for me.
02:13So, I was born in Laurel and then when we moved back after my mom, I'm just kind of throwing
02:19it in there,
02:19after my mom was shot, we, my life changed.
02:25When I was nine, my mom was engaged to a man who we all really liked.
02:32He got up one morning and said, I don't feel like going to work.
02:35And my mom said, that's fine.
02:37And she saw Tim coming through the kitchen with a gun.
02:44He shot her twice in the back of the head here.
02:47Oh God.
02:48And then he went to work.
02:50She was in a coma for a month.
02:52Woke up.
02:53She was able to let them know that Tim was the one who shot her.
02:57They arrested him.
02:58He only spent a couple years in prison for assault with a deadly weapon.
03:03Yeah.
03:04Really?
03:05Yeah.
03:05And because of all of that happening so early, I was just an extremely anxious and fearful child.
03:14My childhood was people making fun of my mom for being in a wheelchair.
03:19They made fun of us because we were poor, because I was fat.
03:22I was bullied to the point of my mom pulling me out of school.
03:27It took a lot for me to start breaking down the walls that I had around me and letting people
03:33love me.
03:35And I'm still surprised when I make friends now.
03:39And they're like, let's hang out.
03:41And in my head, I'm like, why?
03:43At the time, what were your coping mechanisms?
03:47Food.
03:48Food.
03:48I was going through how I arrived to start emotionally eating.
03:55And I remembered the exact moment I did.
03:57And I was sitting at my Aunt Marilyn's house, who was helping care for me.
04:03My mom didn't want me or my brother to see her while she was going through physical therapy.
04:09And my aunt made me a bowl of vegetable beef soup.
04:12And I remember feeling the warmth of the soup and feeling full.
04:18And I felt something.
04:20I remember thinking, this is how I'm going to get through this.
04:25And I still struggle with emotional eating.
04:30And it wasn't until modeling that I found a group of body positive bloggers and activists
04:39that were saying the terms, I love my body and I love myself.
04:45And I thought, what?
04:47And then a light bulb went off in my head and I thought, wait.
04:51I can actually love the way that I look now.
04:56Like, that's allowed.
04:57And once that happened, I was unstoppable.
05:02I feel like I need to put a hat on a view in solidarity.
05:06Tess's modeling career started by her posing for photos with friends and gathering an enthusiastic
05:11fan base online.
05:13When she launched hashtag F your beauty standards, a viral campaign for body positivity,
05:18she was pushed into the spotlight and her popularity skyrocketed.
05:22I really like this hat, but I don't know what I would wear.
05:25Do you have anything blue or sheer?
05:28Yes.
05:29Yeah, or just naked.
05:30Yeah, okay.
05:31My career's kind of been built on controversy by accident because I realized that by me existing,
05:38it offended people.
05:40For me, being, like, naked and raw is my act of, like, rebellion.
05:44Her online presence attracted the attention of modeling agencies.
05:48And in 2018, Tess marked a milestone, landing the cover of the UK Cosmopolitan magazine.
05:55I thought, like, I can't believe that this is happening.
05:57And I cried I don't know how many times on set.
06:01I had never seen, like, a body type like mine on a sexy magazine.
06:06It's a mixed bag of feeling really grateful and hopeful and also frustrated
06:11because every door that I break down, there's always going to be at least, like, 20 behind there.
06:20I don't think the answer is to just accept that you're morbidly obese.
06:26She's telling young girls it's okay to shove cupcakes down your throat.
06:30That's not positive.
06:33She's delusional.
06:34And I don't, I will never, men out there, just no, listen, we don't,
06:38a lot of us just don't like fat chicks.
06:39The backlash to Tess's Cosmo cover wasn't just online.
06:43Even celebrities like Piers Morgan felt like they had to weigh in.
06:47It's not right to encourage people to feel inspired.
06:52Bravo, Tess.
06:53I wish we could all be 300 pounds, too, like you.
06:56Why are you so obsessed with her?
06:58I'm obsessed with her.
06:59She, you are obsessed with her.
07:01Are you, like, ever tired of talking about your body?
07:05Mm-hmm.
07:07Yeah.
07:07I wish that when, I can never celebrate a success in my career without it having being,
07:14without it being picked apart about my size or my health.
07:18But it's, it's imagined health.
07:20It's not an actual health.
07:22Like, people don't actually care if I'm healthy or whatever.
07:26It's just them projecting and using it as a blanket to be an ass .
07:32How do you manage these different forms of, like, personal assault on your, like, your humanity?
07:42Every single thing that I do and share, I'm immensely proud of.
07:48Um, and it's, it's always really hard for me to not have it overshadowed.
07:54You know, that, that happens to me, too, where the things that I remember are always, like, the, the really
08:01bad stuff.
08:02Yeah.
08:02Like, you know, I, I've had someone talk about, like, in detail how he was going to, like, take apart
08:08my body and, like, and tell me why I deserved that.
08:11And I wonder, like, do you have, like, do you remember those voices?
08:18And, like, those voices, like, what were they saying to you?
08:22Um, that's so heavy.
08:27I don't even know how you look so beautiful while you're saying that right now.
08:32Um, mine's usually, no one will ever love you.
08:35No one will have sex with you.
08:37Those comments, I can remove myself.
08:40What hurts me when I was pregnant with Bowie, because I was a public figure at that time, and I
08:48didn't hide that I was pregnant.
08:50People would say that I was going to kill my baby because of my size.
08:54And so I constantly had that pressure in the back of my head where, like, God forbid something happened to
09:00me or my baby.
09:01They would blame it on the fact that I'm fat.
09:04How I keep all of that stuff from bothering me, which I don't have it all figured out.
09:11And I, I crumble sometimes.
09:13But I compare a lot to my childhood because I, I did grow up in a trailer in a cow
09:21pasture with no money.
09:23And so for me, when people are saying all of this stuff, I'm able to, like, take my head up
09:29from the phone, look around me.
09:32Nine times out of ten, I have my husband beside me.
09:37I have my two children that are happy and healthy.
09:41I have a four bedroom home and I get to be on the cover of, like, magazines and look the
09:47way that I do.
09:49I have created a life for myself that I only thought was literally a dream.
09:58I just think when you look at that image, you just kind of think, like, good for you.
10:03It's just good to show that beauty does have such a wide, wide spectrum.
10:09When I got a hold of a copy of this, I was just literally like, it's me.
10:13High time we see curvy ladies being portrayed in a sexy way.
10:19I wish that I had seen something like this when I was a teenager.
10:22I was in tears when I found out she was going to be on the cover.
10:25Because I think, I literally did not think this was going to be an emotional video.
10:34At the end of the day, I'm not doing this for people who don't get what I'm doing.
10:40I'm doing this for the folks that need to see some kind of representation or maybe feel a little less
10:47alone.
10:50Oh, that's cute.
10:53Well, thank you so much for sharing all of this with me.
10:56It's been fun.
10:57Yeah.
10:57I'm, like, emotionally exhausted.
10:59Oh, no. Sorry.
11:00But in a good way.
11:05My impression of Tess is that she is someone who has lived many lives already at 33.
11:12That she's someone who supports whole communities of people who look to her for answers and stability.
11:18And for someone who's gone through the hell that she's been through, that is extraordinary.
11:32You
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