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Hollywood Squares - Season 2 - Episode 10: I Have a Lot of Exes Watching Right Now
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00:00Can everyone touch their nose with their tongue?
00:03It's very painful.
00:05Triumph, are you trying to as well?
00:07I can touch other things.
00:09Oh, no, come on, Triumph.
00:11Do that during the commercial break.
00:13You got it.
00:14From Television City and Hollywood, it's Hollywood Squares.
00:19Starring Joe McHale.
00:22Whitney Cummings.
00:24Triumph the Insult comic dog.
00:27Robbie Hoffman.
00:30Adma Lakshmi.
00:32Fortune Feimster.
00:34Tiffany Haddish.
00:36And our center square, Drew Barrymore.
00:41I'm Bill Moore, and we are your Hollywood Squares.
00:45And now your host, Nate Burleson.
00:48Yeah.
00:50Yeah.
00:51Come on.
00:53Welcome to Hollywood Squares.
00:55What's up, stars?
01:05Hello to our players.
01:06It is good to have you here.
01:08And a big hello to our center square, Drew.
01:10What's up, baby?
01:11Yeah.
01:12Yeah.
01:14Yeah.
01:27Aw.
01:27Aw.
01:28Aw.
01:28Aw.
01:28Bill, how you doing?
01:29Whitney was on my Club Random podcast and gifted me with her robot sex doll, like a simile
01:34of hers.
01:35I did.
01:35That is a true story.
01:37This is true.
01:38I had put one in a special.
01:39It was in my home.
01:41I then had a child and felt like the first move of baby-proofing the house, maybe get rid
01:46of the sex robot of mommy.
01:49And so I think maybe this is the perfect woman for Bill.
01:55In a way it is, yes.
01:58All right, now that we have met some of our stars, let's meet our players.
02:01Nikki, go ahead and tell the stars a little bit about yourself.
02:04Hi!
02:06I am Nikki from Philly.
02:08Go birds!
02:09Okay.
02:10Yeah!
02:11Fly, even fly.
02:12I'm a sixth grade theater teacher.
02:15Woo!
02:16My students are the best.
02:18They love me so much.
02:18They call me Miss Sparkle because of my shining personality, but also because I tend to wear
02:23a lot of glitter.
02:24There we go.
02:25We love that.
02:26All right, well, it's nice to have you, Mario.
02:27Go ahead and tell the stars a little bit about yourself.
02:29Hey, everybody.
02:30My name is Mario.
02:31I'm from Los Angeles, California.
02:32All right.
02:35I am a dad to a brand new baby boy.
02:37He has six months.
02:38Shout out to Mari.
02:39Daddy loves you.
02:40Oh, congratulations.
02:41Thank you, thank you.
02:41He is super energetic, but that means I get zero sleep.
02:44So I haven't slept in like eight days, but I'm excited to be here.
02:47All right.
02:48Mario, good news.
02:49This is Hollywood.
02:50We'll just roll in some cocaine.
02:51You'll be fine.
02:52Oh, my gosh.
02:54He'll pick me up.
02:54Don't listen to Drew.
02:55Do not listen to her.
02:56All right, here is how we play Hollywood Squares.
02:58It is your basic game of tic-tac-toe.
03:00You win by getting three squares in a row or the first to five squares.
03:03I will ask the stars a question.
03:05All you have to do is agree or disagree.
03:08If you get it right, then you get that square.
03:10But if you get it wrong, then that square will go to your opponent.
03:13And then at the end of the game, the player with the most money will go on to our bonus
03:16round, where you will have a chance at $25,000.
03:23But around here, we love to give away stuff.
03:25So, Drew, what else we got?
03:26Well, if you pick the secret square and get the answer right, you could go on a very meaningful
03:33vacation.
03:34Yes.
03:34That's right.
03:35Okay.
03:35Now, before we get started, let's show the audience at home who that secret square is.
03:40Okay.
03:41Let's play some Hollywood Squares.
03:45Yay.
03:46All right.
03:47This first round is worth $1,000.
03:49Mario, you won the coin toss.
03:50Go ahead and pick your star.
03:51All right.
03:52We're going to pick the queen herself, Ms. Drew Barrymore.
03:55Drew Barrymore.
03:58No denying that.
04:00Okay, Drew.
04:02Known as Gorlin's Sign, only about 10% of people can touch their tongue to what?
04:08I live with my dog, Douglas.
04:10Uh-huh.
04:10So, every time I'm looking at him, you know, he's got, he's, like, doing that.
04:15Good God.
04:18I didn't know you were that flexible, Drew.
04:22Um, okay.
04:23I believe with a lot of sincerity that it is to their nose.
04:28Like, I can't do it because I'm not one of the 10%.
04:32I'm one of those 10%.
04:35I ain't going to touch my nose today because I don't want to mess up my makeup.
04:38My mustache might start showing.
04:41Wait.
04:42Can everyone touch their nose with their tongue?
04:45It's very painful.
04:47Robbie.
04:48Triumph, are you trying to as well?
04:50I can touch other things.
04:52Oh, no.
04:53Come on, Triumph.
04:54Do that during the commercial break.
04:57You got it.
04:57All right, Mario.
04:58To start the game off, do you agree or disagree?
05:00All right.
05:01Well, in honor of 50 first dates, wouldn't it be nice if this is correct?
05:05I agree with you, Drew.
05:06Oh, that was so wholesome.
05:07That was wholesome.
05:08God, I feel so dirty.
05:10All right.
05:11He says he agrees.
05:12And you would be correct.
05:14Let's go.
05:15Let's go.
05:16X is the square.
05:17Mario, yes.
05:18Here we go, Nikki.
05:19It's on you.
05:20Pick your star.
05:20I am going to pick the forever hot Joe McHale.
05:25You're going to win.
05:27Nikki won.
05:28Nikki won.
05:29You won.
05:29All right.
05:30All right, Joel.
05:31Here we go.
05:31In order for MIT students to graduate.
05:34Okay.
05:34They have to either take a beginner course or pass a test for what?
05:38Because it's deemed a self survival skill.
05:41I think they have to go five minutes without mentioning they went to MIT.
05:49No.
05:50Okay.
05:50So when I went to the University of Washington, go dogs.
05:55They made me take a ladder safety class and I am not kidding.
05:59Really?
05:59So I think it's something that doesn't make much sense.
06:03So I'm going to say like a swim test.
06:05All right.
06:06Nikki, do you agree or disagree?
06:09You're always hot, but I'm going to have to disagree.
06:11Okay.
06:15Joel was actually right.
06:16It is a swim test, which means you are incorrect.
06:20Mario gets to steal.
06:21Put that X up there.
06:22Uh-oh.
06:22It's on you, Mario.
06:24Uh-oh.
06:24Pick your star.
06:25I will go with Tiffany Haddish for the win.
06:29Okay.
06:29Tiffany Haddish for the win.
06:31All right.
06:32Here we go, Tiffany.
06:33Loudmouth Media is the production company of what actress and ex-wife of Taye Diggs?
06:39Okay.
06:40So I know what kind of women he likes because I tried them.
06:43Okay.
06:43All right.
06:44No.
06:44And when I said I tried them, I was like, you want to hang out sometime?
06:47And he was like, no.
06:50Um...
06:53Okay.
06:54So I believe he married Idina Menzel.
06:56Idina Menzel.
06:58Idina Menzel.
06:58Idina Menzel.
06:58All right.
06:59This is for the square, the round, and the first round money.
07:03I think I'm right.
07:03Do you agree or disagree?
07:05I think you're right.
07:07So I'm going to agree with you.
07:09Because I'm right.
07:10I'm right.
07:11I'm right.
07:12So Loudmouth Media is the production company of Idina Menzel.
07:17Let's go!
07:18Yes, you are correct.
07:18Let's go!
07:19Go ahead and give extra square.
07:21Mario won the first round, and he's banking $1,000.
07:25But Nikki can leap ahead right now because we are on to round two,
07:30where we are going to up the money to $2,500.
07:33All right.
07:34Nikki, you are trailing.
07:36Pick your star.
07:37I got to pick the queen herself, Drew Barrymore.
07:40Drew Barrymore.
07:42I thank you.
07:44Yes, Drew.
07:45All right, Drew, here we go.
07:47In the movie Casablanca, Ilsa uses what two-word command to Rick
07:52when asking him to do it to her as if it were the last time?
07:57High five.
08:00That was so sweet.
08:01That is so romantic.
08:05It's kiss me.
08:07All right.
08:07Nikki.
08:08Drew is Hollywood royalty, so I'm going to agree.
08:11Oh, God.
08:11I hope I'm right.
08:12Oh, God.
08:13And it is kiss me as if it were the last time.
08:17Oh, my God.
08:17You are correct.
08:18Circle gets the square.
08:20Well done, Nikki.
08:21Mario, it's on you.
08:22Pick your star.
08:23Let's go with the hilarious Bill Maher.
08:26Bill Maher.
08:26All right.
08:28Hilarious.
08:28Good guy.
08:30All right, here's your question.
08:31In 2025, what 80s legend went on a concert tour called,
08:36It's a Nice Day to Tour Again?
08:39I hope it wasn't Bill Cosby.
08:41Oh.
08:43Hey.
08:43What?
08:44Hey.
08:44No, no.
08:45We're glad for that.
08:47What?
08:47What?
08:47Okay.
08:48I think it was because I worked with this guy on a TV movie
08:52of the week where he played the bad guy and I was the good guy
08:54back when I was an actor in the 80s, but it was Billy Idol.
08:58All right, Mario.
08:59Ooh.
08:59I'm going to have to disagree.
09:04It actually was Billy Idol.
09:06Oh.
09:08Bill was right.
09:09You are incorrect.
09:10Which means Nikki gets the steal.
09:12Go ahead and put that circle up there.
09:13Yes, Nikki!
09:14We've got a good one on our hands.
09:16Yes, Nikki!
09:16More Hollywood Squares when we return.
09:27Welcome back to Hollywood Squares.
09:29Let's check in with one of our stars, Triumph.
09:31What's going on?
09:32You all right?
09:33Triumph, wake up.
09:34Are we still on the air?
09:35Okay.
09:36We're still on the air.
09:37Nate, I'm so excited.
09:38I mean, with this whole panel, but I'm especially excited to be here with Joel McHale.
09:43I mean, it's not a huge surprise, I mean.
09:46Joel answers his phone by saying,
09:48I'll do it!
09:50Listen, the only time Joel ever says no is when his agent asks,
09:55Don't you want to hear what the project is first?
09:58It's a ton.
10:00Joel McHale, everyone!
10:02That's true.
10:04All right.
10:04We are in the middle of a fierce second round.
10:08Mario is in the lead with $1,000.
10:11Hey, and here's a reminder, that secret square is still on the board.
10:16Okay, Nikki, it's your turn.
10:17Go ahead, pick your star.
10:19I am going to pick the stunning Padma.
10:22For the win!
10:24Padma.
10:26All right, so listen, Nikki needs you right now.
10:28This is big because she's going for the win.
10:29Let me listen now.
10:31All right.
10:31According to the Cornell Lab of Ornithology,
10:35the phrase, who cooks for you, is a distinctive sound of a barred what?
10:40Who cooks for you?
10:42Who cooks for you?
10:43Nobody cooks for me.
10:44I'm always cooking.
10:45I'm always doing the cooking.
10:46I feel like any person on the planet would give anything to cook for you, with you, next to you.
10:55That's right.
10:56Drew, are you offering to cook for Padma, it sounds like?
11:02Oh, come on.
11:03What about me, Padma?
11:05She's so beautiful.
11:06She don't want fleas.
11:07Hush your mouth.
11:08She's the top chef, but she's my bottom.
11:11Oh, my gosh.
11:13All right, here we go.
11:14I'm going to ask you one more time.
11:15According to the Cornell Lab of Ornithology, the phrase, who cooks for you, is the distinctive sound of a barred
11:23what?
11:24Owl.
11:25Nikki, this is for the win.
11:28You know what?
11:31I know.
11:32I know.
11:33It's a lot to unpack.
11:34It really is.
11:35By the way, what is harder, working with us or teaching sixth graders?
11:38Um, I will say the kids are a little easier.
11:43But I love y'all, and I love you, and I trust you.
11:48Oh.
11:48So I agree, Padma.
11:52You said you love her, and you trust her.
11:54And you were right and trusting her.
11:57It is now.
12:00Circle gets the square in the round, which means Nikki now has 2,500 bucks in the bank.
12:07And we are on to round three.
12:09So let's up the cash even more.
12:11$5,000 is on the line.
12:14All right.
12:15Mario, you are now trailing.
12:17So it's on you.
12:18Go ahead, pick your star.
12:20Let's go with the fabulous Whitney Cummings.
12:23Whitney Cummings.
12:24Oh, that's so nice.
12:27All right, Whitney.
12:28Here we go.
12:29All right.
12:30Why is it difficult to tell a female spotted hyena and a male spotted hyena apart?
12:35Why are you asking me this?
12:36Tiffany Haddish is the resident zoologist on the show.
12:39This is true.
12:39This is true.
12:41Here's my certificate.
12:44So I know you're going to think I'm being dirty, and I will never let my dead father be proud
12:51of me.
12:52I'm proud of you, Whitney.
12:54I love it.
12:55Oh, God.
12:56And you and I can take our daddy issues all the way home together.
13:01And I...
13:02Okay, is it just me?
13:04Or is this now the second woman that Drew has come on to?
13:10I mean, is the secret square that she comes out of it?
13:14What's going on?
13:17That's the secret.
13:18Yeah.
13:20All right, Whitney.
13:21This is true that their genitalia are very similar.
13:25Mario, do you agree or disagree?
13:27I agree with you, Whitney.
13:28Good call.
13:29Smart man.
13:30Yes, Whitney's a real one.
13:32You agree with Whitney, and you would be absolutely correct.
13:36That is the right answer.
13:37X gets the square.
13:39Yes.
13:40Nikki, it's on you.
13:41Go ahead.
13:42Make your star.
13:44I'm going to go back to the queen.
13:46Miss Drew.
13:47Miss Drew.
13:47Oh, my God.
13:48Yes.
13:49I have to say, this is the most I've ever been picked in a show.
13:54All right, Drew.
13:54Here you go.
13:55The 1900 Olympic Games were the first to feature what competitors?
13:59I don't know the answer, but I'm guessing cyclists, cycling, cyclists.
14:08Cycling.
14:09Nikki, do you agree or disagree?
14:11I'm going to agree with Drew.
14:13The 1900 Olympic Games were the first to feature women.
14:17Oh.
14:19So you are incorrect, which means X gets the square, Mario with the steel.
14:25We are going to take a quick break.
14:28More Hollywood Squares coming right up.
14:39Welcome back to Hollywood Squares.
14:41Mario has banked $1,000 in the first round.
14:44And then Nikki bounced back and banked $2,500 in the second round.
14:49So it is anybody's game.
14:51Before we get back into it, I have to say, Robby, congratulations on the success of Hacks.
14:57Yes!
15:01Can I just say, you're looking really good today.
15:04Oh, thank you.
15:07Robby, be careful.
15:08He got a wife, and she is here.
15:10She looks strong.
15:12By the way, my wife is here, and believe you me, she's strong, too.
15:17Oh!
15:20Okay.
15:20Well, let me tell you, okay?
15:23Yes.
15:23Nate's wife looks like one of my cousins.
15:27She has given birth, so you know she's strong.
15:31And she looks like she can braid hair.
15:35Okay, so your wife should meet my wife after the show in the yard, and we're going to see whose
15:43wife is stronger than whose wife.
15:45All right.
15:46Well, that's the show I want to watch.
15:48I want to watch that show.
15:51All right, let's get back to the game.
15:53Here is a reminder for you.
15:56The secret square is still out there somewhere.
15:59Mario, it is on you.
16:00Go ahead, pick your star.
16:01All right, we are going to go with the hilarious Fortune Feimster for the win.
16:05Fortune Feimster.
16:06Mario.
16:07Mario.
16:08My man.
16:10All right, Fortune, this is for the win.
16:12Okay.
16:12Here we go.
16:12Under their forearms, otters have pockets of skin in which they mostly store food, and what other favored items?
16:21I'm going to say rocks, because that seems to be something an otter would be into is rocks.
16:26All right, so Fortune is going rocks.
16:29Don't let my accent fool you.
16:31I am smart.
16:33Can we get Tiffany in on it?
16:34No, we can't get Tiffany in on it.
16:36Okay.
16:36Mario, why you got to do me like that?
16:38No, I'm just a zoologist.
16:39Okay.
16:42Mario, look in my eyes.
16:45You might turn gay, but look in my eyes.
16:52Mario, we are in the third round, and this round is worth $5,000, which will give you the lead.
16:59Need that.
17:01Do you agree or disagree?
17:03Fortune Feimster, I agree with you.
17:09You are correct!
17:12Get the square in the round, which means we are adding $5,000 to your bank.
17:23Oh, so that sound right there, that means that time is up, but good news is you are going to
17:29the bonus round.
17:30Oh!
17:31Nicky, you're not going home empty-handed.
17:34You are leaving here with $2,500.
17:36Thank you for being here.
17:37When we come back, Mario is going to be playing for $25,000.
17:52Welcome back to Hollywood Squares.
17:54Mario has racked up a cool $6,000.
17:58Ooh, come on now.
17:59Let's play in here.
18:01But now it is time to play the bonus round, where you will have a chance at adding $25,000.
18:08Let's do it.
18:10Any idea what you would do with all of that money?
18:12Oh, all the ideas, man.
18:13We're going to upgrade Amari big time.
18:15Get him a family-friendly SUV, a luxury stroller, luxury car seat, all that.
18:20We got to do it.
18:21Yeah.
18:21Come on now.
18:22We love that.
18:23Now, here's how the bonus round works.
18:25We are going to give you 60 seconds.
18:27I will read a statement about each star.
18:28All you have to do is agree or disagree.
18:31For everyone that you get correct, you will earn that square.
18:34Now, every star up there has an envelope.
18:36But only one of them is holding a card worth $25,000.
18:41Yeah.
18:44So, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.
18:49Here we go.
18:51Joel McHale has competed in two baked bean eating contests.
18:55Agree.
18:56Incorrect.
18:57Whitney Cummings' voicemail greeting says,
18:59Text me.
19:00Agree.
19:01Correct.
19:02Bill Maher's first book was called, God's Not Mad, He's Disappointed.
19:06Agree.
19:06Incorrect.
19:07Triumph has a forthcoming poetry collection called, The Road Less Pooped On.
19:11Agree.
19:12Incorrect.
19:13Drew Barrymore once walked the red carpet in a dress she made entirely out of duct tape.
19:18Agree.
19:19Incorrect.
19:20Robbie Hoffman is the seventh of ten children.
19:23Agree.
19:24Correct.
19:25Padma Lakshmi has a goldfish named Tom Colicchio.
19:29Agree.
19:30Incorrect.
19:31Fortune Feimster hates strawberries.
19:34Agree.
19:35Correct.
19:36Tiffany Haddish played accordion as a child.
19:39Agree.
19:40Correct.
19:40All right.
19:42Four out of nine.
19:43About halfway.
19:44That's not bad.
19:45You got this, Mario.
19:47All you need is one.
19:48All you need is one.
19:50Stars.
19:53Show us the money.
19:56Whitney.
20:01Fortune.
20:04Robbie.
20:07Tiff.
20:10Come on.
20:10Come on, Tiff.
20:16But listen.
20:17You're not going home at the end.
20:18We're eating.
20:18We're eating good.
20:19Let's go.
20:20You are still going home with your winnings of $6,000.
20:23Yes, yes.
20:23Not too bad.
20:25Now, let's see who was holding the winning envelope.
20:28Oh, it was Bill.
20:30It was Bill.
20:32Of course.
20:33Thank you to our stars for being here.
20:35And, of course, our center square to Barrymore.
20:38Love you.
20:39I am your host, Nate Burleson.
20:41Please join us next time on Hollywood Squares.
20:46Come on, man.
20:46Come on down.
20:47Come on.
20:48That was tough.
20:49Yes.
20:49Good job.
20:51Good job.
20:52Got that.
20:59Good job.
21:16Okay.
21:16Good day.
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