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Hollywood Squares - Season 2 - Episode 04: I'm Terrified of Triumph
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00:01From Television City in Hollywood,
00:05it's Hollywood Squares, starring RuPaul,
00:11Kat Dennings, Whitney Cummings, Pete Holmes,
00:17Fortune Feimster, Tiffany Haddish, Joel McHale,
00:22and our center square, Drew Barrymore.
00:28And I'm Padma Lakshmi.
00:31And we are your Hollywood Squares.
00:36And now, your host, Nate Burleson.
00:43Welcome to Hollywood Squares.
00:46What's up, stars?
00:53Hello to our players.
00:55It is good to have you here.
00:57And a big hello to our center square, Drew Barrymore.
01:00What's up, baby?
01:04How you doing?
01:05I am really happy because I'm in a cardigan sandwich.
01:09That's right.
01:11Nate, this is my Mr. Rogers look.
01:14And Drew, can I say it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood?
01:17Thank you, Pete.
01:18It is.
01:18I thought it was from the Fortune Feimster collection of cardigans.
01:22That's right.
01:22This is my cougar cardigan.
01:24OK.
01:25OK.
01:27All right.
01:28Now, we have met some of our stars.
01:29Let's meet our players.
01:31Go ahead, Lauren.
01:32Tell the stars a little bit about yourself.
01:34My name's Lauren.
01:35I'm from Overland Park, Kansas.
01:39And I'm a mortician.
01:41Oh.
01:42Wow.
01:43And, Ru, if I may, since I do makeup on the dead,
01:46my dream is to be able to do drag makeup on a deceased person.
01:50What are you saying about me?
01:54What a dream.
01:58Darien, tell the stars a little bit about yourself.
02:03I am Darien.
02:04I am from St. Louis, Missouri.
02:06We from the Lou, baby.
02:08And I am a five-star rideshare driver.
02:12And it's never a dull moment when you're driving,
02:14because once somebody tried to recruit me to a cult.
02:19But fortunately, I did not join.
02:21And I still got five stars.
02:22OK.
02:23Five stars.
02:25All right.
02:25Now, here is how we play Hollywood Squares.
02:28It is your basic game of tic-tac-toe.
02:30You win by getting three squares in a row
02:32or by being the first to five squares.
02:34I will ask the stars a question.
02:35All you have to do is agree or disagree.
02:37If you get it right, then you get that square.
02:39If you get it wrong, then that square
02:41will go to your opponent.
02:42And at the end of the game,
02:43the player with the most money
02:44will go on to our bonus round,
02:45where you will have a chance at $25,000.
02:49Yeah.
02:52But wait, there's more.
02:54Drew, what else we got?
02:55That's right, Nate.
02:56You're referring to the secret square?
02:57I am, yes.
02:58If you pick it and you get the answer right,
03:01you could go on a mind-bending trip.
03:04Ooh.
03:06All right.
03:07Before we get started, let's show the audience at home
03:09who that secret square is.
03:12OK.
03:12Let's play some Hollywood Squares.
03:16So this first round, it's worth $1,000.
03:19Darren, you won the coin toss.
03:21Go ahead, pick your star.
03:22I would like to start with the beautiful Padma Lakshmi.
03:28Padma Lakshmi.
03:29Why, thank you.
03:30Yeah.
03:31Woo-hoo!
03:32Here we go.
03:33Iron and magnesium-rich vegetables like spinach
03:36and green beans have the ability to make sparks
03:38when you prepare them using what?
03:41Honey, everything I make has a spark.
03:43Woo!
03:44Padma bringing the heat!
03:47Um, using a microwave.
03:50All right.
03:51Darian, do you agree or disagree?
03:52I feel like she definitely knows a thing or two about some sparks.
03:57So I am going to agree.
04:00And you would be correct!
04:03Yay!
04:03Go!
04:03It is a microwave.
04:05X gets the square, starting off hot.
04:08Lauren, it's on you.
04:09All right.
04:09Pick your star.
04:10I got to go with America's Sweetheart Center Square, Drew Barrymore.
04:14Drew Barrymore.
04:15Drew Barrymore.
04:16Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!
04:17Woo!
04:18If I can get that title, anyone can get that title.
04:22Okay.
04:23All right, Drew, here we go.
04:24According to the National Park Service,
04:27if you encounter a bear in the woods,
04:28you should identify yourself by standing still
04:30and slowly doing what?
04:33Shoving your friend in front of you.
04:37That might work.
04:38I mean, I've heard the pots and pans banging.
04:41Yeah, when I go in the woods,
04:43I always bring my dinnerware with me there, so.
04:46I'm not positive, but like some type of commotion,
04:49like waving your arms.
04:51Okay.
04:51Lauren, do you agree or disagree?
04:53Waving your arms for some reason to them
04:55makes you look really big and scary,
04:57so I'm gonna agree.
04:58Oh, God.
04:59Never go camping together.
05:01Yeah.
05:02Well, you know what, Lauren?
05:04You would be correct.
05:06It is waving your arms.
05:07Circle gets the square.
05:08I apologize.
05:10I apologize.
05:10I apologize.
05:11Why not just walk away?
05:13Because they gonna follow you.
05:14See, what I do is I take my wig off.
05:16I've been counting a few days.
05:18Excuse me!
05:22All right, Darian, it's on you.
05:23Go ahead.
05:24I am going to go with the stunning Rue Hall.
05:29Aw.
05:29Rue Hall.
05:30Aw, that's very kind.
05:32Very kind.
05:34All right.
05:35Here we go.
05:36In May of 2025, a British Airways flight attendant
05:39went missing during a transatlantic flight.
05:41He was later found in the business class restroom
05:44naked and doing what?
05:46Okay.
05:47Well, clearly, he was warming the nuts.
05:52All right, so naked in the bathroom, waxing, waxing his body.
06:00I am going to disagree.
06:04The flight attendant was later found in the business class
06:07restroom naked and dancing.
06:11So you are correct.
06:13Go ahead and give extra square.
06:16Lauren, it is back on you.
06:18Oh, right.
06:18Go ahead and pick your star.
06:19I'm going to go with Mr. Roger.
06:21I mean, Pete Ho.
06:23Pete Honored.
06:24For the block.
06:25For the block, that's right.
06:26Honored.
06:27Yes.
06:28Let's do it.
06:29I have rigor mortis in my drawers.
06:34All right, Pete.
06:35Here we go.
06:36Much like the female's G-spot.
06:38Hold on.
06:39This is my...
06:41Pete doesn't know what that is.
06:46Sorry, Nate.
06:47Let's see if we can turn this G-spot question into a big O.
06:53Let's go, Pete!
06:58All right, Pete, here we go.
07:00Much like a female's G-spot, the P-spot is a male erogenous zone
07:04in which the P stands for what?
07:07I want you to get this.
07:09So I'm going to say, and I think I'm right,
07:12that it's the prostate.
07:13All right.
07:14Lauren, do you agree or disagree?
07:16Pete, I was thinking the same thing.
07:18Yeah, yeah.
07:18He's G-spot is prostate.
07:19I'm going to agree with you.
07:20I like this.
07:21I like this for us.
07:22I'm excited.
07:24Oh.
07:25Oh.
07:28Oh, oh, oh, gets the score!
07:30Yeah!
07:32And the block.
07:33I love it!
07:34That's it.
07:35That's it.
07:36And we are going to take a quick break.
07:38It's still anybody's game for Hollywood Squares when we return.
07:51Welcome back to Hollywood Squares.
07:53Before we get back into the game, let's check in with a couple of our stars.
07:57Someone who I just marvel at when it comes to talent.
08:00Kat Dennings is in the building.
08:04I'm very excited to be here, sandwiched between two people I admire very much.
08:09And on top of someone I admire very much.
08:13Whitney Cummings, you and Kat go way back, right?
08:15We do go way back.
08:17We made a show together called Two Broke Girls.
08:22And now we are two broken girls.
08:27Oh.
08:28Okay.
08:28All right, let's get back to the game.
08:30We are in the middle of a fierce first round.
08:33And just a reminder, the secret square is still on the board.
08:36All right, Darian, it's your turn.
08:37Go ahead, pick your star.
08:39I would like to go with the impeccably-dressed Fortune Fiendster.
08:44Fortune Fiendster.
08:48Here we go, Fortune.
08:50Impeccably-dressed.
08:51How are you doing?
08:52I mean, I don't usually get called that.
08:56All right, Fortune.
08:57Here we go.
08:57In nature, simulparity refers to the single momentous act of doing what before immediately dying?
09:04I think that's the time you go up to your crush and you're like, hey, girl.
09:10Because you have nothing to lose.
09:11Right, yeah.
09:12If they say no, then you're dead.
09:14Whatever.
09:15Who cares?
09:16Fortune.
09:17So what if they say yes?
09:18You just ghost them?
09:20Oh.
09:21Oh.
09:22That's good.
09:23That's nice.
09:24That's nice.
09:24I mean, you know, if there's not much time left, you are horny.
09:28So I think that, like, I don't know, you'd reproduce.
09:32All right.
09:33Do you agree or disagree?
09:35Boun-chig-a-boun-boun.
09:36Boun-chig-a-boun.
09:37I am going to disagree.
09:40All right.
09:41Somebody's not feeling sexy.
09:45You know what?
09:46Fortune was right.
09:49It is reproducing.
09:51All right, now, Lauren, you cannot win the round on a steal.
09:55Lauren, it's on you.
09:56Pick your star.
09:57I'm going back to Fortune.
09:59Back to Fortune.
10:00This is big for the win.
10:02We're back, baby.
10:04We're back.
10:05Here we go.
10:06An environmental nonprofit, 1T.org, hopes to add $1 trillion what to the world by 2030?
10:12Uh, well, hopefully .
10:18But if that can't be done.
10:21What?
10:22I'd say trees.
10:24Those are equally as important as .
10:30All right, Fortune is saying trees.
10:32Lauren, this is huge because this is for the square first round in the first round money.
10:37I'm thinking trees as well.
10:39Fortune.
10:39I'm going to agree.
10:40Lauren, you will be winning the first round because that is correct.
10:46Circle gets the square.
10:48All right, Lauren.
10:49You just banked $1,000 in that first round.
10:53But you know what?
10:54We are on to round two.
10:55And that round is worth $2,500.
10:58So let's get right back into it.
11:00Darian, you are trailing.
11:02Go ahead.
11:02Pick your star.
11:03I would like to start with my favorite comedian, Whitney Cummings.
11:07Whitney.
11:08Oh!
11:11You picked the secret square.
11:13You picked the secret square.
11:16All right, so Drew, if he gets this question right, where could he be going?
11:21An Alaskan crew.
11:23Whoa!
11:25What's up?
11:25Let's go.
11:26All right, here we go.
11:28A waterway teenagers enjoy mispronouncing.
11:31The Mianus River originates in which northeastern state?
11:35Well, I recently gave birth, so I can't even find Mianus.
11:39Right?
11:42It's fine.
11:43Everyone else can.
11:43I just can't.
11:44Oh my goodness.
11:45I believe that this river is in New York.
11:51All right.
11:52Darian, do you agree or disagree?
11:53She looks like someone who's knowed that, so I am going to agree.
12:01I hope I'm right.
12:02All right.
12:02Now she doesn't look like someone who would know.
12:05She changed as soon as you locked in.
12:08You know what?
12:09It is New York.
12:12Oh!
12:12So you are correct.
12:14X gets the square.
12:16And congratulations, Darian.
12:18You are going on an Alaskan cruise.
12:21Set a course for Alaska on a princess cruise.
12:24You and a guest will navigate the inside passage, visit Gold Rush Towns, and explore Denali and Glacier Bay National
12:32Parks, all while enjoying a personalized medallion class vacation.
12:36Come aboard.
12:37We're expecting you on a princess cruise.
12:40Congratulations.
12:41All right.
12:42Let's jump back into it.
12:43Lauren, it's on you.
12:44Go ahead.
12:45Pick your star.
12:46Well, you know, I just can't get enough of Drew Barrymore.
12:48All right.
12:51Thank you, Lauren.
12:52I hope that when I die, I get to be with you.
12:58That'll be the weirdest meet and greet of your life.
13:03All right, Drew.
13:04Here we go.
13:05Named after a Roman goddess of love, what is the hottest planet?
13:09I mean, menopause.
13:17But I think it's Venus.
13:20I had a bit of a mythology phase back in the day.
13:23Oh, thank God, because I didn't go to school.
13:26And, yes, I do believe it is Venus.
13:28I'm going to agree with you.
13:30Well, that mythology phase did you right.
13:34You are correct.
13:34It is Venus.
13:36Circle gets the square.
13:37We are going to take a quick break for Hollywood Squares.
13:40Coming right up.
13:43Yeah.
13:51Welcome back to Hollywood Squares.
13:53Lauren has banked $1,000 in that first round.
13:57But if Darian can take round two, he will win $2,500 and take the lead.
14:02Yeah, Darian!
14:04All right, so Darian, it is on you.
14:06Go ahead and pick your star.
14:08I am going to go with Kat Denny.
14:11Kat Denny.
14:12That was good for you.
14:15Okay, here we go.
14:17Whitney Cummings once told Us Weekly
14:19that Warner Brothers should make a reboot of Two Broke Girls
14:23unless she joked they hate what?
14:26Well, since it was Whitney Cummings, I'm guessing I must be vaginal.
14:31Um, yeah.
14:34Unless they hate money.
14:37All right, so Kat is saying money.
14:40Darian, do you agree or disagree?
14:42I am going to have to agree with Kat Denny.
14:48Woo!
14:48Okay.
14:48That's okay.
14:49Whitney, since you said it, how about you do the honors?
14:52What did you say?
14:53I think this was around the time cannabis had just become legal.
14:59It's a little foggy.
15:01Um, I believe this is true.
15:04Yes, that is true.
15:06It is money.
15:07That's what Whitney said.
15:08So you're correct.
15:10Go ahead and give X a square.
15:11All right, Lauren.
15:12And so you picked a star.
15:14I gotta pick Mamaroo for the block.
15:16Mamaroo for the block.
15:18Oh, hey.
15:19Okay, here we go.
15:20In 1994, what brand debuted a slogan commanding consumers to obey your thirst?
15:28Bill Clinton's presidential juice.
15:33Oh, oh.
15:35No, I know this.
15:37I think everybody knows this.
15:38It's, of course, it's Sprite.
15:40Oh, my gosh.
15:42Um, I'm gonna trust you, Rue, and I'm gonna say I agree.
15:46That brand was indeed Sprite.
15:49So you are correct.
15:50Put that circle up there.
15:52Lauren gets the block.
15:53Darian, it's on you.
15:54Pick your star.
15:56The animal controller himself, Joel McHale, for the block.
16:00Joel McHale from Fox's Animal Control.
16:02Yeah!
16:05Well, Darian, I would like to be cremated.
16:08Deal.
16:09Not by Lauren, by you, if that is.
16:11Gotcha.
16:13All right, here we go, Joel.
16:15Focusing on Captain Ahab's lost body part.
16:18Chapter 106 of Moby Dick is titled Ahab's What?
16:21Just so many d*** jokes coming to my brain at once.
16:25I can't get them all out.
16:27Yeah, if I say Moby, they say...
16:29Dick!
16:30Moby.
16:31Dick!
16:32Moby.
16:32Dick!
16:34Look, I've started this book so many times, so...
16:37Right.
16:39I'm gonna say leg.
16:40All right.
16:41Darian, this is big for the block.
16:43Joel is saying leg.
16:44Do you agree or disagree?
16:46I am strongly agreeing with Joel.
16:49Have you read the book?
16:50I've not read the book.
16:51I've started many times.
16:55And you would be correct.
16:57It is leg.
16:58X gets the block.
17:01Well done.
17:02Oh!
17:03That sound right there means that time is up.
17:06What we're gonna do in this round is give you $500 for each square that you have,
17:10which means, Darian, you have a total of $1,500 and that Alaskan cruise.
17:14Yeah!
17:15So you are not leaving empty handed.
17:17That's right.
17:17That's right.
17:17Thank you so much for joining us, ma'am.
17:19You are awesome.
17:20Lauren, you have a total of $2,000, which means you are going to our bonus round.
17:24And when we come back, Lauren is going to be playing for $25,000.
17:32Not dead yet.
17:33All right.
17:43Welcome back to Hollywood Squares.
17:45Lauren has racked up a cool $2,000.
17:49But now it is time to play the bonus round where you will have a chance at adding $25,000.
17:56Now, Lauren, do you have any idea what you would do with all of that money?
18:00You know, my immediate family is scattered all across the country.
18:04Okay.
18:04I would love it if we could all just gather together for a really nice tropical vacation.
18:08Ooh!
18:09Yes!
18:10We all want that to happen.
18:11All right.
18:12Now, here is how the bonus round works.
18:13You are going to have 60 seconds.
18:15Now, I will read a statement about each star.
18:17All you have to do is agree or disagree.
18:19For everyone that you get correct, you will earn that square.
18:23Now, here's the thing.
18:23Every star up there is holding an envelope, but only one of them holds a card worth $25,000.
18:31So, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.
18:36Here we go.
18:38RuPaul once said he wants the Olsen twins to play him in his biopic.
18:43Agree.
18:43Correct.
18:44Kat Dennings was prom queen in high school.
18:47Agree.
18:48Incorrect.
18:49Whitney Cummings watches videos of Jellyfish in order to fall asleep at night.
18:52Agree.
18:52Correct.
18:53Pete Holmes was the lead tenor in his youth choir.
18:56Agree.
18:56Incorrect.
18:57Drew Barrymore said Adam Sandler is her best on-screen kiss.
19:00Agree.
19:01Correct.
19:01Fortune Feimster used to work as a security guard at a strip club.
19:06Agree.
19:07Incorrect.
19:08Pat Malakshmi said the food that gives her the biggest turn-on is frozen grapes.
19:15Agree.
19:16Correct.
19:17Tiffany Haddish took Will and Jada Pinkett Smith on a swamp tour she bought with a Groupon.
19:22Agree.
19:22Correct.
19:23Joel McHale has a huge knife and sword collection.
19:26Agree.
19:27Correct.
19:29That's pretty good.
19:31Six out of nine squares.
19:33Wow.
19:35You feeling good about your chances?
19:37Yeah.
19:37You should feel good.
19:38All right, here we go.
19:39Stars.
19:40Show us the money.
19:43RuPaul.
19:45All right, Whitney.
19:49Drew.
19:52Padma.
19:56Tiffany.
19:58All right, Joel.
20:01Pass.
20:02No.
20:03You cannot pass.
20:04Sorry, sorry, sorry.
20:10Stars.
20:11How about that?
20:12Oh, my God.
20:14Joan McHale had the $25,000.
20:17Oh, what?
20:18Adding to her earlier winnings, she has now won a grand total of $27,000.
20:25Thank you to our stars.
20:26And I have to say thank you to Drew Barrymore.
20:28I am your host, Nate Burleson.
20:30Please join us next time on Hollywood Squares.
20:38Wow, you almost .
20:39I am.
21:06Hi.
21:06I'm.
21:07I'm.
21:07I'm.
21:07I'm.
21:07I'm.
21:07You.
21:08I am.
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