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00:03From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central,
00:07it's America's only source for news.
00:10This is The Daily Show with your host, Desi Lyden.
00:31Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Desi Lyden.
00:33We've got so much to talk about tonight.
00:35Autocorrect is making Trump ducking furious.
00:38Wall Street gets weird.
00:40And if you think MAGA Republicans are pussies,
00:42well, they do too.
00:43So let's get into the headlines.
00:49Let's kick things off with someone who was definitely
00:52in the Epstein files, Jeffrey Epstein.
00:55We've seen millions of his texts and emails already,
00:58but there was one very important document
01:01we hadn't seen until now.
01:02Breaking news tonight,
01:04a judge has released what is said to be a suicide note
01:07written by the late convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.
01:10It is a treat to be able to choose one's time to say goodbye.
01:14What you want me to do?
01:17Bust out crying? No fun. Not worth it.
01:24No fun. Not worth it?
01:26His last words were the same words I said
01:29when I bailed on the new season of Landman.
01:34Just kidding.
01:35All 437 Taylor Sheridan shows are equally excellent,
01:39and available now on Paramount+.
01:42But let's move on, because this weekend is Mother's Day,
01:45the day we celebrate all the incredible women who pee a little
01:48when they sneeze too hard.
01:51Trump marks the occasion with an event honoring military moms,
01:54or as he calls them, military MILFs.
01:56And I assume he showed them the love and respect they deserve.
02:00We're also honored to be joined by a military mother
02:04who sacrificed far more than most.
02:08That's Melody Wolf.
02:10And, you know, I love the name Melody because for a long time,
02:15you know, they have spell correct and word correct
02:17on these crazy machines that we use to put out truths,
02:22or they used to be called tweets.
02:24Uh-oh, look out, he's leaving.
02:27Every time I wrote Melania, it would correct to Melody.
02:33So I do things, and I work very fast, very fast.
02:37Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.
02:42Well, now I know what I'm not getting for Mother's Day,
02:45horny ever again.
02:47I think we just experienced the last thing of Big Mac sees
02:50right before the lights go out.
02:53But don't worry, Trump turned off his autocorrect.
02:56Just kidding, he did this.
02:58I didn't know about that little feature,
03:00but I got that corrected eventually.
03:02You know who corrected? The military.
03:06I'm sorry, the military had to fix your autocorrect problem?
03:11Trump heard he had to go to his phone's general settings,
03:13and he was like,
03:14okay then, get me general settings.
03:24And get me Captain Airplane Mode 2, just in case.
03:28Mr. President, can you please stop with your weird stories?
03:30You see, uh, drug traffic coming into our country's way down.
03:35And by sea, by sea, by ocean, by the water.
03:40You know, a lot of people say,
03:41what do you mean by sea?
03:42Is it sea, like vision? No, it's the SEA.
03:46What?
03:48No one has ever been confused by that phrase.
03:51If you say, by sea, it's obvious that sea means ocean.
03:56And bi means bisexual.
03:57I mean, at least until it graduates.
04:00Look, anyone who watches this speech must be questioning
04:03if this man should be president.
04:05Inflation is rising.
04:07Corruption is through the roof.
04:08We are losing a war he shouldn't have started.
04:11And he's spending his days rambling about autocorrect
04:13and building a ballroom for himself and Melody?
04:16Sure.
04:18Surely, at this point,
04:20he's got to be losing support among Republicans.
04:22There's this myth that's going on right now that, oh, Trump is really losing support among Republicans.
04:28But compared to other midterm cycles, he's just as popular with Republicans as he has ever been.
04:35His face is still sticking with him after everything?
04:39Look, I know it's hard to admit you're wrong.
04:42Take it from me.
04:43The creator of the Facebook group, Jared Fogle, would make the most awesome babysitter.
04:49But at this point, you've got to cut your losses.
04:52I mean, what is it?
04:53Do you have a humiliation kink or something?
04:55This polling to me jumped out at me.
04:58They asked Republicans who would win in a physical fight with Trump.
05:01Would you be able to beat up Donald Trump or would he beat you up?
05:0439% of Republicans said Trump would beat me up.
05:10So you have a humiliation kink.
05:12But you really think you'd lose a fight to an 80-year-old man?
05:15I mean, come on, Republicans. Believe in yourself.
05:17Where's that storming the Capitol confidence?
05:22To be fair, this is an incredibly weird phone call to receive.
05:26Uh, yeah, Dave, it's the polling company.
05:29You think you could take President Trump, you f***ing pussy?
05:34The question is, will Trump's base ever abandon him?
05:38For more analysis, let's go live to our very own Troy Iwata and Jordan Klepper.
05:50Troy, let's start with you.
05:53What does this poll say about the devotion of Trump's base?
05:55Uh, it says they're very stupid, Desi.
05:58Uh, because Trump would never win in a fight.
06:01He's obese, he's slow, he already has bruises,
06:04even though there hasn't even been a fight yet.
06:06No, I'm just curious about the mindset of his supporters.
06:10I'm not wondering who would win the fight.
06:11Well, I'm-I'm not wondering either. I know who would win the fight.
06:16Literally anyone or anything else.
06:18I mean, look at him. His ass is already getting whooped by Father Time.
06:22Desi, Desi, look, I-I don't think Troy fully understood the question.
06:26Do you mind if I provide some analysis here?
06:28Oh, yeah. Thank you, Jordan.
06:29Sure, Desi.
06:30Troy, Trump would totally dominate in a fight.
06:33That's not what I meant.
06:34Well, sure, he's slow, but he'll fight dirty.
06:37I'm talking ball taps, purple nurples, chocolate swirlies,
06:41mushroom stamping, Dutch ovens, I could go on.
06:43No, that's how...
06:44And I will.
06:45Hair chonking, turkey gobbling, Serbian scrotum torture.
06:49Oh, man, it would be over quick!
06:50Yeah, yeah, yeah!
06:51You're crazy, Jordan.
06:52Do you forget how old Trump is?
06:54At this point, he's got to be more prostate than muscle.
06:57No.
06:58Of course he's old, but so are Republicans.
07:01Half of those fights he could win
07:02just by unplugging his opponent's oxygen tank.
07:05Guys, guys, come on.
07:07Don't become those dudes who get totally obsessed
07:09over hypothetical fights that will never happen.
07:11Desi's right.
07:12This is ridiculous.
07:13Until we establish ground rules.
07:16Are we talking gloves or bare knuckle?
07:18And are we abiding by Queensberry rules
07:20or Sadie Hawkins rules
07:22where girls have to ask the boys to the fight?
07:25Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:26Also, will this fight be a catered event?
07:29You know?
07:29Is there a coat check?
07:31What's the dress code?
07:32Black tie or something fun?
07:35What time of day is this all happening?
07:37The middle of the night when he's full of energy
07:39or the middle of the afternoon when he's fast asleep?
07:42Yeah, yeah.
07:43Are weapons allowed?
07:45You know?
07:45Will there be a referee?
07:46These are questions that need to be answered, Desi.
07:49I don't have the answers.
07:50There's no fight.
07:51Yeah, you're damned right.
07:52It's not a fight because Trump would win
07:54against any Republican.
07:56How do we even know it's just one Republican?
07:58What if it's five?
07:58Well, you know, okay, he couldn't beat up five
08:01unless we're talking 1996 Donald Trump,
08:04in which case he could beat up five Republicans,
08:06two independents, and that kid from Jerry Maguire.
08:08Oh, you mean Jonathan Lipnicki?
08:11Say his name, Jordan!
08:13I will not say his name. I will not.
08:14You guys, you guys, I don't care if Trump
08:15could beat up Jonathan Lipnicki.
08:17He's an adult.
08:18He could probably beat up any child.
08:20Well, you know, it depends on the child.
08:22I mean, my nephew's eight, and he's really beefy.
08:25He has to wear one of those seatbelt extenders,
08:27but it's not because he's fat.
08:28He's just abnormally thick.
08:30Oh, Trump could so beat up your thick nephew
08:33and yank his juice box away and smash it on his thick head!
08:37Oh, well, joke's on you, Clepper.
08:39He doesn't drink juice.
08:40He has type 2 diabetes.
08:43Desi, Desi, if I could interject here.
08:45Oh, Michael Kosta!
08:51Look, look, if I can get back
08:54to your original question, Desi,
08:56this poll shows that Donald Trump's supporters
08:58are too psychologically committed to him.
09:01Ironically, the only way to fracture their devotion to Trump
09:05is to find an even more radical so-called savior.
09:09As such, Trumpian dynamics may get worse
09:12before they get better.
09:16What the happened to you?
09:19Nothing happened to me. I'm fine.
09:21You look like you got the shit kicked out of you.
09:24Did Donald Trump beat you up?
09:26No.
09:27No, Donald Trump didn't beat me up.
09:30Troy's nephew did.
09:31That boy...
09:32That boy is thick.
09:33Michael Kosta, Jordan Klepper, and Troy Iwana!
09:37When we come back, we dig into the weirdest lawsuits,
09:40so don't go away.
09:59Welcome back to The Day Show.
10:01With most news stories, we try to cover them quickly,
10:04but other stories require us to go deeper.
10:07And for those, we turn to Josh Johnson
10:09in our segment, Into Deep.
10:19JP, Morgan, Chase.
10:22That's not just three white dudes who brunch.
10:25It's also a bank.
10:26And last week, they got hit with a massive lawsuit
10:29you may have heard about.
10:31This bombshell lawsuit that dropped,
10:33accusing a top executive at JP Morgan Chase
10:36of forcing a married colleague into sexual acts...
10:41Jirayu Rana made the claim
10:42that a female colleague who was his superior
10:45made him into her, quote, sex slave.
10:48Sex slave?
10:50You have my attention.
10:54Because sex and slave are two words
10:56you should not put together.
10:59Either one on its own makes me nervous.
11:02But together, hoo-hoo.
11:07And look, your kink is your kink,
11:09but I do draw the line at slavery, all right?
11:12It's a red flag when someone gets in the mood
11:14by putting on spirituals.
11:20They'll have you at their apartment, like...
11:23Now that we're alone.
11:25Mmm.
11:30But what makes this story stand out
11:32is the media's obsession with telling people
11:34the employee is a man,
11:35and the boss is an attractive woman.
11:37And yes, that is still very wrong,
11:40but the Internet decided it's also very sexy.
11:43If you are on social media, there is not a chance
11:46that you haven't seen somebody
11:47or heard somebody talking about this story.
11:49This has given birth to a million different needs online.
11:53Attracting comments like,
11:55has she any vacancies?
11:56So I'm guessing his job is available.
11:58Tempted.
11:59And, any vacancies?
12:00Asking for a friend.
12:01J.P. Morgan is hiring,
12:03and men racing to try and get in the door.
12:10Only men could see a story about a man
12:12leaving his job because he was a sex slave
12:14and run to the sex slavery.
12:19This story is a crazy twist
12:21on the typical workplace harassment.
12:23At least I thought that
12:24until I dug in a little deeper.
12:26Tonight, we're learning that this entire lawsuit
12:28might be completely fabricated
12:30against the female executive.
12:32J.P. Morgan found no evidence
12:34of any of the claims made.
12:36Holy shit.
12:38Completely fabricated?
12:39No evidence?
12:40Now, I'm no lawyer,
12:41but I believe a key to winning a case
12:43is having at least one evidence.
12:51So this guy just made the whole thing up?
12:53That blew my mind
12:54until I started looking into the details
12:57of the lawsuit a little deeper,
12:58because then it does seem a little made up.
13:02The whole suit reads like an absurd and cheap adult movie.
13:05Drugging him with Viagra and roofies.
13:07Telling him if he wanted to be promoted,
13:09he would need to start pleasing her.
13:11She then began fondling her breasts
13:13and racially insulted the plaintiff's wife,
13:15remarking,
13:16I bet your little Asian f***ing wife
13:18doesn't have these cannons.
13:33Look, I wasn't there to verify whether or not this happened,
13:37but what I can say I've never seen happen
13:40is a woman refer to her own breasts as cannons.
13:47I've never heard a woman be like,
13:49now that I'm over 40,
13:50I need to go get my annual cannon exam.
13:53Which made me start to doubt this guy's case
13:56until I went a little deeper.
13:58According to the New York Post,
14:00he never reported to her during his entire time at J.P. Morgan,
14:05and they actually were under two different managing directors.
14:10Now I don't even know if the doubt has a shadow.
14:12I mean, he didn't report to her?
14:15Isn't that the whole basis of someone being your boss?
14:19This means she's just a lady to you.
14:23Kind of pokes a pretty big hole in the whole,
14:26my boss made me her sex slave argument.
14:28It's becoming increasingly hard to have sympathy for this guy,
14:31but then I learned he suffered a tragedy.
14:34Rana told J.P. Morgan
14:36that his father had died in 2024.
14:40Oof.
14:41I gotta say,
14:42it's hard to accuse a man alive when he was grieving.
14:46Problem with this is, apparently his father's alive.
14:53What the hell?
14:54The dad's alive?
14:55Prove to me the dad is alive.
14:57The Post spoke to him
14:58and asked him about his son's legal battles with the big bank.
15:01He said, quote,
15:02I don't know anything about it.
15:04Yep.
15:05Someone called his dead father and he answered.
15:10You know, one of the first giveaways that a person is not dead
15:13is when you call them and they say,
15:15hello?
15:18How do you get around that one?
15:20No, he dead.
15:20I swear he dead.
15:22He died of cancer.
15:25Yeah, it's rare in dudes, but it does happen.
15:29So he lied about his dead dad.
15:31That settles it for me.
15:32Surely he should walk away.
15:33An ex-banker refiling his bombshell lawsuit against a female executive
15:39and adding alleged new evidence.
15:40A family friend claims that he witnessed some of this,
15:44specifically says he was asleep on the couch one night
15:46when the JPMorgan boss came over, came out of the bedroom
15:49completely naked, sat on the couch, smoked a cigarette
15:51and said, you need to come in here and join us.
15:54Yep.
15:56He refiled with a witness and it's even pornier.
16:00This guy is starting to feel like the Jussie Smollett of sex.
16:06Like, why is the witness testifying and flexing at the same time?
16:11I heard them having sex, but also she was begging to have sex with me.
16:15But I said no because I'm constantly having sex.
16:18So I just went back to sleep on his couch because, you know,
16:22none of that was a dream I had once.
16:25Just another day in the life of a couch-surfing sex god.
16:31But if we could dig just a little deeper.
16:34Since Me Too, we've been warned about the dangers of a man in power
16:39being falsely accused with no evidence, damaging the reputation,
16:42all so an accuser can enrich themselves.
16:45And now it may have happened to a woman.
16:48Not to mention the internet ran wild making tons of AI memes with her actual face,
16:54which will be online forever.
16:56So the only thing clear with this case is that there is definitely sexual harassment happening here.
17:02By the media.
17:03It's just so unbelievably funny, and it honestly sounds like every man's fantasy.
17:09Now, if any of this is true, this gal needs to work on her flirtation routine.
17:13It helps that she's attractive.
17:15Oh, 100%.
17:16It helps that she's attractive.
17:17But like, let's be honest, if you're a two, and your boss is pretty up there,
17:24and she's making you the sex slave, nah, probably not, dude.
17:28Oof.
17:29Oh.
17:30Yeah, when you dig deep enough, you finally hit bottom.
17:34No, bro, gotta be a four or higher in the eyes of the court for it to count as harassment.
17:38You know what I'm saying?
17:41They don't even know who the victim here is, so they decide,
17:45hell, we'll just objectify everybody equally.
17:48So maybe we've learned absolutely nothing.
17:50Or maybe I'm in too deep.
17:56Josh Johnson, everyone!
17:58When we come back, Adam Scott will be joining on the show for Josh O.A.
18:02Thank you, Josh.
18:15Welcome back to The Daily Show.
18:17My guest tonight is an award-winning actor who stars in the new film, HOKUM.
18:56Please welcome Adam Scott!
19:18Oh, Adam!
19:20Well, well, well.
19:21Well, well, well.
19:22I'm so sorry for scaring you so badly.
19:25You scared the shit out of me in this movie.
19:27How dare you!
19:28I know. I just felt like right now is a great time to scare the shit out of people.
19:33Yes, that's exactly what we need. That's exactly what we need.
19:37Well, so many people, including myself, have fallen in love with you
19:40from watching you on Parks and Rec and Party Down,
19:45So Funny and Stepbrothers,
19:46and then you blew us away with your dramatic work in Severance.
19:56And now you're incredible in this horror film.
19:58Have you been wanting to explore a darker side,
20:01or is it the state of the world that pushed you into it?
20:05Um, I don't know.
20:07I guess after Parks and Rec ended, I kind of felt like I wanted to try...
20:12Because when I started out, I thought I was going to be, like, a super serious actor,
20:17and then Stepbrothers actually happened,
20:20and, uh, and someone, like, fell out of the role,
20:24and they needed to cast it at the last second.
20:26So I got that role, and I didn't think I would,
20:28and so that kind of set me on this kind of comedy trajectory or whatever.
20:33And so then a few years later, I wanted to try something more serious,
20:36so I started, like, you know, at least try...
20:38Like, I auditioned for Big Little Lies and, you know, tried to get...
20:42You know, just do something different, I guess.
20:44Yeah. You bring up wanting, setting out and thinking
20:47you were going to go down this dramatic path
20:50and not even really looking at comedy.
20:52Speaking of that, um, tell us about the great actor Adam Cortario.
20:56Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Adam Cordero.
20:58Cordero.
20:59Cordero.
21:00I'm surprised you didn't get that right.
21:01Yeah, I'm so sorry.
21:03I did not do my research.
21:04We're a fake news show, so...
21:05Right, exactly.
21:07Um, clearly.
21:08I do very little homework.
21:11Um, Cordero was going to be my new name,
21:15my stage name for a while.
21:18It was a shortened version of my mother's maiden name.
21:21And I remember when I was in acting school,
21:23I wrote down,
21:25Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Adam Cordero.
21:29Aww.
21:30And I thought it sounded so cool.
21:32I even practiced my signature.
21:34It does sound cool.
21:35I know, I still might do it.
21:36Well, it's not too late.
21:38Yeah.
21:38Do you think Adam Cordero
21:40would have been a different actor than Adam Scott?
21:43100%.
21:43Yeah.
21:44Very serious all of the time.
21:46You'd be method right now, probably.
21:47Yeah, I would...
21:48Right now, I'd be here
21:49only because I was researching
21:51a role of someone
21:53that's a guest on a talk show.
21:56Which isn't so far off
21:57from what you did as a little kid.
21:59Did you...
21:59That's right.
21:59Is it true that you stayed up late
22:01to watch Letterman every single night?
22:02Oh, yeah.
22:03Every night.
22:04On a five-inch black-and-white screen
22:06that I had in my room.
22:08Underneath the covers?
22:09Yes.
22:10It was the...
22:11Yeah, because it was the 80s.
22:13So Letterman was on at 12.30.
22:15And so no one was awake.
22:17And, uh...
22:18And, yeah, I would practice being a talk show.
22:21I set my bed...
22:22Put pillows on my bed
22:23so it was like a couch.
22:24And I would practice talking to Dave
22:27on my couch.
22:28Yeah.
22:29And masturbating.
22:30I mean, I was getting like...
22:31Yeah.
22:32It wasn't super cute.
22:34Yeah, okay.
22:34Now I believe.
22:35Now it's believable.
22:35Right, right.
22:36Now it makes sense, right?
22:37Now it's believable.
22:37Yeah.
22:38Did you...
22:39Sorry.
22:39Did you ever get to meet David Letterman
22:41and tell him you masturbated to him?
22:42Yeah.
22:44Uh...
22:45I did, uh...
22:47Finally, like, uh...
22:49Like, ten years ago,
22:50I did his show
22:51and it was a huge deal.
22:53Oh.
22:53Yeah, yeah.
22:54But I did not masturbate on this show.
22:56Okay, okay.
22:56That's...
22:57What a classy guy you are.
22:58I'm glad you had some self-control.
23:00Um, I want to talk about this movie,
23:03Hocum, takes place in Ireland.
23:05Yes.
23:05Without spoiling anything,
23:06tell people what it's about.
23:08It's about a guy who's a writer
23:10and he's, uh, going to a hotel in Ireland
23:15to spread his parents' ashes
23:16and there may or may not be a witch
23:19in the basement of the hotel.
23:22Right?
23:22Mm-hmm.
23:23Yes.
23:23Yes.
23:24When I say may or may not,
23:26there is.
23:27There is.
23:29Otherwise, there wouldn't be a movie.
23:31Yeah, I don't know why you'd say that.
23:32Yeah, there's a witch.
23:33There's a witch.
23:34There's definitely a witch.
23:35Yeah.
23:35And you, you, you thought it was scary.
23:37You were scared.
23:38I was terrified.
23:39Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:39It's terrifying.
23:40It is.
23:40It's very scary.
23:42And you play...
23:44Well, first of all,
23:44how did this role come about?
23:46Um...
23:46For you.
23:47It, uh, it just...
23:49It was a script I read.
23:50I love this guy.
23:51This guy, Damien McCarthy.
23:52His previous movie, Oddity, is terrific.
23:55And I was already a fan of that.
23:57It was a small horror movie,
23:59Irish horror movie,
24:00um, that I was super into anyway.
24:02And so this, this, uh,
24:03kind of, uh, came across, uh,
24:06my transom.
24:07What?
24:08Do people say that?
24:09I certainly...
24:10Of course I know what that means.
24:12That's what was about
24:13to come out of my mouth.
24:14I, I...
24:15It makes no sense.
24:16Sure, I, that, I'll...
24:17Okay.
24:17If you say so.
24:19This script came across
24:20my transom.
24:21Hold on, let me do it really quick.
24:21Please do.
24:23Um, and, uh,
24:25and I just wanted to do it
24:26because I loved, uh,
24:26Are you sure that wasn't
24:27an autocorrect?
24:28I think it was.
24:29Yeah, the transom
24:29was an autocorrect?
24:30Was it Melody?
24:31Is that the name?
24:32Melody.
24:32Yeah, that's right.
24:34I love Melody.
24:35What the f***
24:35are you talking about?
24:36I don't know.
24:36No one knows.
24:37No one knows.
24:38No one knows.
24:38Good Lord.
24:39So, so the director
24:40thought of you.
24:41So, okay, your character
24:43is a difficult man.
24:45Yeah, an asshole.
24:47Cantankerous.
24:47Yeah, he's okay.
24:48I was gonna say, yes, asshole.
24:49He's a little bit of an asshole.
24:50We still root for you
24:51because you're a great actor.
24:53But do you,
24:54when a director calls you
24:55and says,
24:56I, you're the first person
24:57I thought of.
24:58Right.
24:58For this asshole.
24:59To play this little asshole.
25:00Are you offended?
25:01Because I, like,
25:02I'm not swimming in offers,
25:03but when I do occasionally
25:05get an offer,
25:05it's always for, like,
25:06an unhinged Karen.
25:08Right.
25:08And, of course,
25:09I immediately call my manager.
25:10Right.
25:14Why do you think
25:15I'm so unhinged?
25:16And you scream at them.
25:17And I scream at them.
25:19But does it...
25:20Yeah, I guess,
25:21I guess I wasn't sure
25:23why he thought of me
25:24to play just an unruly prick.
25:29Um, but I was excited to
25:32because, um,
25:34I guess I had played
25:34a bunch of, like,
25:35sweetly likable people
25:37over and over again,
25:38so it was kind of nice
25:39to revel in being unpleasant.
25:42Yeah.
25:42Well, you're also
25:43a very likable guy,
25:44so I imagine
25:45that that would be
25:46fun to explore.
25:48Sure.
25:48Yeah, sometimes it's really hard
25:50just not to be so likable.
25:51Yeah.
25:52Yeah.
25:53Yeah.
25:53I'm sorry it's so difficult
25:54for you.
25:56You're getting rave reviews.
25:58One review said
25:59Adam Scott does his
26:00best film work to date.
26:02Wow, that's very nice.
26:03Yeah, New York Times says
26:04Adam Scott is perfection.
26:06Wow.
26:11I think that's setting
26:12an unrealistic expectation.
26:16No, what is it like?
26:17People will inevitably
26:17be disappointed
26:19if they read something like that.
26:20Not true.
26:21What is it like
26:22being so perfect?
26:23Oh, it's really difficult.
26:25I mean, where do I start?
26:27Yeah.
26:29Desi, it's so hard.
26:33You know, we all
26:34have to start somewhere,
26:35so the perfection
26:38is something I'm working on.
26:39I'm trying to be less perfect.
26:43Yeah.
26:44Well, good luck with that.
26:47Good luck with that.
26:48It takes place in Ireland.
26:51Do you think that
26:52it being in Ireland
26:53makes it even more spooky
26:55because the buildings
26:56are so old?
26:57Yeah.
26:57Like, if you shot it here,
26:58you'd be shooting
26:59in, like, an abandoned...
27:00Burbank.
27:00Yeah, in an abandoned
27:01circuit city somewhere.
27:03Yeah.
27:03It's a different feel.
27:04Um, abandoned circuit cities
27:06are terrifying, let me tell you.
27:07This is true.
27:08Um, uh, yes.
27:11Ireland is, like,
27:12the most pleasant,
27:13beautiful place on Earth,
27:14but we are out in the middle
27:15of the countryside,
27:16and when the sun goes down,
27:17it is immediately terrifying.
27:19Oh, my God.
27:20Because it's just...
27:21It's dark.
27:23I mean, when the sun goes down,
27:24it's dark, obviously.
27:26You don't say...
27:27There, it's dark
27:28when the sun goes down?
27:29Yeah, I know.
27:30Um, but out in the middle
27:31of the countryside,
27:32there are no, uh, streetlights,
27:34so it's really dark,
27:36and, uh, and it's...
27:37and it's super scary.
27:38When you're in those scenes
27:39where you're having
27:40to be terrified
27:41and often you're by yourself,
27:43what kind of sense memory
27:44are you doing?
27:45Are you thinking about
27:46Trump getting a third term?
27:47Yes.
27:49Yes.
27:49I thought so.
27:50And I just start screaming
27:52uncontrollably.
27:53It worked.
27:54Yeah.
27:55Well, as a perfect actor...
27:58Yes.
27:58I will never let it...
27:59That's the only way
28:00I will ever greet you.
28:01From now on,
28:02whenever we see each other,
28:03you'll refer to me as perfect?
28:05Mr. Scott, perfect actor.
28:07Oh, my God.
28:08What is there...
28:08Is there anything
28:09that you haven't done yet
28:10that you'd still like to do?
28:11That's a really good question.
28:14Um, I don't...
28:15I don't know.
28:17Um, I mean,
28:19I-I really do think that,
28:22uh, you know what
28:22I would like to do
28:23is play a talk show host
28:26just so I could...
28:28Because coming here...
28:31Yeah.
28:31...was such a big deal for me
28:34just to, like,
28:34be at The Daily Show.
28:36And, like, the daily...
28:37The daily grind of a talk show,
28:40I think, is fascinating.
28:42And I know it's not as fascinating
28:44for everybody who works here,
28:46but I find that, um...
28:48I mean, probably not.
28:50You can say that again.
28:50And...
28:52That's vodka in there, right?
28:55Cigar...
28:56That's right.
28:56...just grizzled over it.
28:58Oh, that's very...
28:59I think it's because I...
29:00One of my ways
29:02into wanting to be in show business
29:04was David Letterman,
29:06and, you know,
29:06and that really caught my imagination.
29:09So, I know that movies
29:10about talk shows
29:12and movies about stand-up comedy
29:14are really tough to make work.
29:16They never quite feel right,
29:17but that would be fun.
29:19Well, here, let's switch seats.
29:20Oh, great, yeah.
29:22Applause.
29:27All right.
29:28Okay, you got the L.
29:30Oh, wow.
29:31Okay.
29:35I feel like I need some cards or something.
29:37Yeah, grab the cards.
29:38That's it.
29:39Am I reading it?
29:40Yeah, you're reading it.
29:41Holcomb is in theaters nationwide now.
29:43Adam Scott.
29:49We're going to take a quick break,
29:51but we'll be right back after this.
29:53Woo!
29:55And this is where you guys...
30:11Americans who support or believe in ghosts, that comes in at 39%.
30:15How about telepathy?
30:18That comes in at 29%.
30:19And the new White House ballroom comes in below both of those at 28%.
30:25So the bottom line is this.
30:27This new White House ballroom is most certainly not popular.
30:31Sorry.
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