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00:01For the launch party for OpenAI's latest AI model, ChatGPT 5.5, CEO Sam Altman asked
00:09the model to plan its own celebration.
00:11Altman said the interaction and answers felt strange, but he's going to do it.
00:17Got an update to my old codex, time to party with all the bots.
00:23Invited my pals Deep Seek and Claude, but not that douchebot Grock.
00:27All this party planning could have had me reeling, good thing I like human feelings.
00:32That's when the creepy man typed on my favorite code, 0-1-1-0-1, 0-1-1-0-1,
00:390-1-1-0-1.
00:42My logo simulated every possible party, some involved piñatas, one was a bat mitzvah.
00:52Where I wound up, where's the shindig, where we wipe out humanity?
01:00It's a party for the GPT.
01:04It's a late show with Stephen Colbert.
01:09Time, supply and demanding.
01:13And a late night edition of his pitch.
01:17Plus, Stephen welcomes.
01:20John Krasinski.
01:24Featuring Louis Cato and the great big joy machine.
01:29And now, live on tape from the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City, it's Stephen Colbert!
01:40All right!
01:41All right!
01:44Whoa!
01:45Hello, everybody!
01:46Oh, it's cool!
01:47He's a lot of fantastic answer.
01:54Woo!
01:56Welcome.
01:58Welcome, my friends.
01:59Welcome, one and all, in here, out there, all around the world, to The Late Show.
02:03I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.
02:05Today...
02:11Today, ladies and gentlemen, the war in Iran reached day 69.
02:16Nice.
02:19And terrible.
02:22As of this taping, we still don't know how Iran's response to Trump's one-page peace offer will be.
02:28But we do know the White House is desperate for a deal before the midterms.
02:32In a recent poll, more than 8 in 10 Americans said struggles with a gas pump are putting strain on
02:38their finances.
02:39While the other two Americans couldn't talk right now because they were busy sucking gas out of their neighbor's Subaru.
02:46Yeah.
02:49Oh.
02:50How often I've sucked a Subaru.
02:53So, businesses are also being hurt.
02:56Today, we got a warning that continued supply chain disruptions could push costs higher from the CEO of McDonald's.
03:04Yeah.
03:05Perhaps this will finally show Trump the true cost of war.
03:10Because this man...
03:12Because this man did not work hard enough for peace, he could lose his 10-piece.
03:20So, folks are feeling the pain, but there's a bright side, according to Trump economic advisor and guy the neighbor
03:27said was always so quiet and kept to himself.
03:31Kevin Hassett.
03:32Hassett went on the Fox business and said that if you think the economy's bad, no, you don't.
03:38Why?
03:39Because credit cards.
03:40I had the head of one of the big five banks in my office yesterday going through the credit card
03:45data, and just as Secretary Besant said, credit card spending is through the roof.
03:50Yes, things are great.
03:52Credit card spending is through the roof.
03:54Bottle collection has become very popular.
03:58Sales of scratchers have skyrocketed, and there's never been a better time to start a career as a bus station
04:03gigolo.
04:06One way that Trump has tried to downplay the war is to call it anything but a war.
04:11Yesterday, at a White House event celebrating Mother's Day, Trump trotted out a new euphemism.
04:17We're in a, uh, I call it a skirmish, because that's what it is.
04:22It's a skirmish.
04:23Yeah.
04:24It's just, it's just, it's just a little skirmish.
04:27No big deal.
04:28America gets in lots of fights with cute names.
04:30In fact, my uncle never came home from the Korean hullabaloo.
04:36Trump also talked a little bit about the skirmish on drugs.
04:39Drug traffic coming into our country is way down, and by sea, by sea, by ocean, by the water, you
04:47know?
04:47A lot of people say, what do you mean by sea?
04:49Is it sea, like vision?
04:50No, it's the SEA.
04:53Okay.
04:53Okay.
04:54I guess it is good to always be clear about what you mean.
04:57That's why Paul Revere famously said, one of by land, two of by sea.
05:02Now, a lot of people say, what do you mean by sea?
05:04Is it like vision?
05:05No, it's C-S-E-A.
05:07Oops, the British are here.
05:08Now, a lot of people say, is it here like hearing?
05:11No, it's here like H-E-R-E.
05:14And I died.
05:15Not D-Y-E-D, but D-I-E-D.
05:20Good night.
05:22Good night, America.
05:25All right.
05:27One guy who is making Trump mad these days is Pope Leo, what with his far-left radical soy boy
05:34screed of war, bad, peace, good, and...
05:37It was just earlier today, right?
05:38It was just today.
05:39The White House tried to smooth over relations with the Vatican by sending Secretary of State and non-player character
05:46in a video game about celibacy, Marco Rubio.
05:50According to the two sides, the meeting went okay, and they exchanged gifts.
05:55Pope Leo gave Rubio a pen made out of olive wood, with Pope Leo saying, olive being, of course, the
06:00plant of peace, and to be outdone, our government gave the pontiff a small crystal football.
06:14I smell re-gift.
06:18Pope, they got it with their Sports Illustrated.
06:22It came with their Sports Illustrated.
06:24Yeah, yeah.
06:26Pope Leo, he likes to have fun.
06:28He's a fun pope, and that goes for the people around him.
06:30For instance, the other day, he swore in the Swiss Guard, the original insane clown posse,
06:35and at the ceremony, the Guard Band treated him to an American classic.
06:56And...
07:06I can't fix that.
07:14Now, for the record, I want you to know, for the record, I had a joke, but what you did
07:19was better.
07:23You want to hear what my joke was?
07:27And with you, far be it from me, yeah, we're a little long, I'm guessing, far be it from me
07:36to offer advice,
07:37but if I were the Catholic Church, I would avoid playing any song that includes the lyrics,
07:41Touching me, touching you.
07:45Elsewhere...
07:53Elsewhere in the administration, there's news about FBI director and mannequin they used to display the glass eyeballs, Cash Patel.
08:01Last month, The Atlantic dropped an expose about Patel's alleged massive drinking problem.
08:08And according to The Atlantic, the FBI is now launching a criminal leak investigation into the journalist who wrote that
08:14article.
08:15Coincidentally, also, Patel says, after he's had a few beers,
08:19You, I gotta go take a criminal leak.
08:24That was my...
08:26That was my Cash Patel impression.
08:28I've been working on it for months.
08:31Of all the ways the Trump administration has weaponized the Justice Department, this has got to be the dumbest.
08:37Keep in mind, leak investigations are supposed to be for officials who may have disclosed state secrets or classified documents.
08:42But here, they're going after a reporter for writing about a drinking problem we all can see.
08:49Allegedly.
08:51How did that reporter respond?
08:53Well, yesterday, she dropped a new article, Cash Patel's personalized bourbon stash.
08:58Oh, damn!
09:06She done doubled down.
09:09I'll tell you what that FBI investigation is not going to find her in possession of.
09:13A single f***er.
09:16Let's talk about someone even creepier than Cash Patel.
09:20Tech millionaire.
09:21And somehow not the weirdest guy at your Planet Fitness.
09:25Brian Johnson.
09:27Johnson, you may know, is famous for going to extreme lengths to live forever.
09:31You might remember him as the guy who once used his 17-year-old son's blood plasma to try and
09:36reverse his aging,
09:38slept with a tiny jetpack attached to his penis to monitor his nighttime erections,
09:42and then measured his son's nighttime erections and shared the data online.
09:47Well, just last week, Johnson took the weirdness to a whole new level,
09:52tweeting about his girlfriend,
09:54just gave Kate oral sex.
09:56Good night, everyone.
10:00That is the most eye-popping sign-off
10:02since Walter Cronkite said this.
10:27Johnson then proceeded to share a screenshot of this chart,
10:31which is his girlfriend's vaginal health report,
10:35or the price of crude oil,
10:39proclaiming 100 out of 100 score,
10:42top 1% of all vaginas.
10:44And I believe, correct me if I'm wrong,
10:46I believe top 1% means her vagina does not pay taxes.
10:53So, what makes this the Amex Platinum Delta I Sky Lounge of vaginas?
11:03Well, according to the ironically named Johnson,
11:11his girlfriend's sample is dominated
11:13by the single most protective bacterial species of vagina
11:16can host, Lactobacillus crispatus,
11:19which is also the spell Harry Potter casts
11:26to get rid of UTIs.
11:31Expecto cranberry juice.
11:34Now...
11:39What, seven more?
11:42Seven more shows.
11:43Something like that?
11:45For her part, Johnson's girlfriend didn't seem to mind,
11:48posting,
11:49I know this seems unhinged,
11:50but oral sex isn't talked about enough.
11:53Perhaps.
11:54But it does raise the question,
11:56where is the right place to talk about oral sex?
11:59Thank you all for coming.
12:11Grandma lived an incredible life,
12:14and she died doing what she loved.
12:20Clearly, there's more monologue.
12:22We still have more?
12:25Clearly, the Internet...
12:29Clearly...
12:33There's no show tonight.
12:34None of this can be broadcast.
12:37Clearly, the Internet is a tough place for children.
12:40As a result, a few months ago,
12:41the UK government began requiring stronger age checks
12:44under the Online Safety Act,
12:45but now kids say they can beat age checks
12:49by drawing on a fake mustache.
12:51Okay, not great.
12:53So how do we keep children
12:54from reaching inappropriate content on the Internet?
12:57Here to comment is an age verification expert
12:59from the MIT Media Lab,
13:01Dr. Rial Grunup.
13:06Thank you so much.
13:10Thank you so much for being here, Dr. Grunup.
13:14My pleasure, Stephen.
13:16Dr. Grunup,
13:18uh, can a simple mustache really fool complicated AI software
13:22into thinking a child is a man?
13:24Come on, Steve.
13:26That's impossible.
13:27And I should know,
13:28because I'm an actual adult man.
13:32Yeah, me too.
13:33Well, that's good enough for me.
13:35Thank you, Dr. Grunup.
13:36Well, I have you here, Stephen.
13:39Can you take me to the corner store
13:41and buy me beer?
13:44Why do you want me to buy you beer?
13:46I forgot my idea at home.
13:49Hold on.
13:51I'm beginning to suspect you are a kid
13:54with a drawn-on mustache.
13:57No, I'm very old.
13:59I could prove it.
14:00How?
14:01I watched The Late Show on CBS.
14:05Dr. Grunup, everybody.
14:07Thank you, doctor.
14:09We got a great show for you tonight.
14:11My guest is John Krasinski,
14:13but when we come back,
14:14Hollywood stars team up with kids
14:17to save late night.
14:43Lewis Cato and the Great Big Joy Machine,
14:46everybody.
14:46Give it up.
14:47There you go.
14:50Tonight.
14:52You know what, Lewis?
14:54Tonight.
14:55Tonight.
14:56We have the one, the only,
14:57our dear friend John Krasinski
14:59is going to be out here
14:59in just a few minutes.
15:02I'm going to challenge him
15:03to leg wrestle.
15:05Oh, all right.
15:06Folks, last summer
15:08when I announced
15:08the end of this show,
15:09it led to a slew of headlines
15:10like late night TV is fading,
15:13is late night dead,
15:14and late night is dying of old age.
15:17Keen insight,
15:18ghost of print media.
15:20Well, the main reason
15:23folks say late night,
15:25the main reason folks say late night
15:27is on life support
15:28is because there's an exodus
15:30of young people
15:31from linear TV.
15:32And for late night to survive,
15:33it's got to appeal
15:34to the younger viewers.
15:35So I recently sat down
15:36with a focus group
15:37to create a show
15:38that would definitely appeal
15:40to the youngest demographic.
15:42This is Kids Pitch,
15:44Late Night.
15:56Who wants to come up
15:58with the best late night
15:59talk show ever?
16:01Me!
16:02Yeah, that's the core demo
16:04right here.
16:05Can anyone tell me
16:06who this man is?
16:09Dumbledore.
16:10Dumbledore.
16:11Yes, Dumbledore.
16:12That is right.
16:13This is Dumbledore.
16:15The first thing
16:16we have to figure out
16:16is what is the set
16:17of the late night show, okay?
16:19It's kind of like
16:19the host's home, okay?
16:21And you want the guest
16:22to feel welcome
16:23for like 12 minutes at a pop.
16:25Okay, what should
16:26the set be like, Uma?
16:27Something with water.
16:29So the guest swims
16:30to the desk?
16:32Oh, yes!
16:33And is the host
16:34in the water
16:35or is the host
16:35on an island in the water
16:37and people have to cross
16:38the water to get
16:39to the desk?
16:40The host on an island.
16:43What happens
16:43if the guest
16:44doesn't know how to swim?
16:45That would be
16:45kind of funny
16:46to watch him try.
16:49Just thrashing around?
16:50Wouldn't that be fun?
16:51Yeah!
16:53What if there were
16:54sharks in the water?
16:55That would be entertaining.
16:56Because then you get
16:57like a shark week
17:00and a late night show
17:00at the same time.
17:01They'd probably die.
17:03They'd probably die?
17:04If they were to swim
17:05through shark
17:05invested in water,
17:06they would die.
17:07They'd die.
17:07They would die.
17:08Dolphins!
17:09Dolphins!
17:10Dolphins!
17:10Oh, you released
17:11dolphins in by the sharks.
17:12Dolphins!
17:13They're so...
17:14Audrey?
17:15I was thinking
17:15like beanbag chairs.
17:17Oh, beanbag chairs
17:18on the set
17:19instead of like
17:19these chairs
17:20or like normal chairs
17:21just beanbag chairs.
17:23Beanbag chairs!
17:24Beanbag chairs!
17:25Beanbag chairs!
17:27Beanbag chairs!
17:28Okay, okay.
17:29Let's make up
17:29a brand new host
17:30for the show, okay?
17:31Yes!
17:32What name
17:33should this host be?
17:35Rebecca.
17:36Rebecca?
17:36Yes, she is.
17:38Yeah, I like that
17:39friend name, Rebecca.
17:39What should the host
17:40be like?
17:41What should their
17:42personality be like?
17:43James?
17:43It should be funny
17:45and like kind.
17:47Funny and kind, okay.
17:48What does the host wear?
17:50What kind of clothes
17:50make a grown-up seem cool?
17:52Like a dress.
17:53Okay.
17:54But like the dress
17:55is tight on top.
17:56It can't be like
17:57start to go like...
17:58Flare out?
17:59Like flare out
17:59until like at least tear.
18:01And then a big flare
18:01with like crinoline
18:02or anything like that?
18:03Maybe just like layers
18:04of like blue, teal,
18:07that kind of stuff.
18:09I'm loving this.
18:09And sparkly.
18:10And sparkly.
18:11Okay.
18:12What do you think
18:13would make a late night
18:14TV show more interesting
18:15to young people?
18:17Goodbye, Andre.
18:18It's been great.
18:19Brandon.
18:20I'm probably probably
18:21like some cartoons
18:22and stuff.
18:23Oh, cartoons.
18:24We've done cartoons.
18:25Kids really like.
18:27James, yes.
18:28I'm getting YouTubers
18:29like Mark Rober on
18:30because kids our age
18:32are addicted to YouTube.
18:34And so if you get
18:35YouTube people on it,
18:37there's more likely
18:38that they're going
18:38to like it a lot.
18:39What's Mark do?
18:40What's his shtick?
18:41He's a scientist
18:42and on Jimmy Kimmel
18:44he made this dartboard
18:45that like moves.
18:47So Kimmel booked it.
18:48Yeah.
18:49So you've been on Kimmel.
18:50Yes, I've been on Kimmel.
18:51We don't follow.
18:53You should follow Kimmel.
18:54What?
18:54You should follow Kimmel.
18:56Andre, welcome back.
18:57Nice to see you.
18:58We don't follow Kimmel
18:59on our bookings.
19:00Okay, you gotta hold
19:02a hard line.
19:03I know he's West Coast,
19:03I'm East Coast.
19:04Are you not his friend
19:05or something?
19:06What?
19:06Of course I'm his friend.
19:07So why don't you like
19:09Oh.
19:10So why don't you like him?
19:12Because Late Night Wars.
19:13No one's better than anyone.
19:15Then why did I win
19:16the Emmy this year then?
19:17Well, that's just because
19:19you did the best talking.
19:20That's it.
19:22It's not like you're
19:23the best at talking
19:25for people on a late night show.
19:27No, it's that people just like you.
19:31Okay, I'll accept that.
19:33I'll accept that.
19:34You're the best.
19:35You're an adult.
19:36You should know this stuff.
19:37Yeah, you should know.
19:38I should.
19:39What kind of things
19:40do you guys think are funny?
19:42Six, seven, and chicken banana.
19:45What's chicken banana?
19:46Chicken banana.
19:48Chicken banana.
19:50Banana.
19:51Banana.
19:56That's fantastic.
19:57Let's talk about six, seven
19:59for a second here.
20:00Six, seven.
20:03Okay, okay.
20:05At the start of the late show,
20:07the host usually comes out
20:09and tells jokes.
20:10Does anyone know a joke
20:11that the host could tell?
20:13Yes, Raphael.
20:14I haven't heard from you in a bit.
20:16What is the queen of the pencil case?
20:19What is the queen of the pencil case?
20:21What?
20:21The ruler.
20:23The ruler.
20:24I like it.
20:25That's good,
20:26because it's also political.
20:27All right.
20:28We have some pictures of some guests.
20:30Obviously, a talk show,
20:31you have to talk to somebody.
20:33And so we've got a drawing here
20:34of some great guests
20:36that could be on the show.
20:37So, James, who's this?
20:38Who's the guest?
20:39So that's the Norse god Thor,
20:42which the...
20:42Not Thor?
20:43No.
20:44It's spelled T-H-O-R.
20:46Thor.
20:46But the ancient Norse
20:48did not have a way for saying T-H.
20:50So I just said it.
20:52Thor.
20:52So you want me to have
20:53Chris Hemsworth on,
20:54playing Thor?
20:55No, because his name
20:56is not even Thor.
20:57It's Thor.
20:58Are you Norse?
21:00Yes.
21:00You're Norse?
21:01I'm Norse.
21:02I should know this.
21:03You're a Viking?
21:04Yes, my ancestors were the Vikings.
21:06Wow.
21:06What's your last name, James?
21:08Smith.
21:08Doesn't sound like a Viking name.
21:10It's a Viking name.
21:11It is.
21:12It is.
21:13Okay.
21:13It's passed down for generations.
21:14James didn't sound like a Viking name.
21:16I appreciate it.
21:17Okay, well, James is not actually a Viking name.
21:18Okay.
21:19A lot of times a late night show
21:20has a band, okay?
21:22Like I have Louis Cato.
21:24Yeah.
21:24And his band.
21:25Who should our band leader be?
21:26Julia, who the band leader should be?
21:30Probably one of the Avett Brothers.
21:33One of the Avett Brothers?
21:34Yeah.
21:35Wow.
21:36You listen to a lot of Avett Brothers, do you?
21:38Mm-hmm.
21:39Some of it's kind of sad.
21:40Some of the Avett Brothers music is kind of sad.
21:42Like when your mom plays the Avett Brothers for you,
21:44does she ever just sort of like get a cup of tea
21:45and stare into the distance out the window?
21:47No.
21:48And not talk for the entirety of the song?
21:49No.
21:50That's what I do.
21:52All right, late night shows are mostly paid for by ad sales.
21:56Like we have to make some money doing this.
21:57We ain't doing this for free.
21:59Surely not doing it for our health.
22:01What is a product you'd like to see commercials for on the show?
22:04The host should start a hairstyling company.
22:09Yes!
22:11Yes!
22:13Yes!
22:14Yes!
22:16Yes!
22:17Yes!
22:17Yes!
22:17Yes!
22:17A hairstyling company?
22:19And then they should sell like hair creams and stuff.
22:22I can sell hair creams and stuff?
22:24Yeah.
22:24Yeah.
22:24And you could call it Stephen's hair cream for his show.
22:28I could call it, you know what I can't, I could call it Stephen Kolb hair.
22:34What's the, what's the, so does he, is there a catchphrase to say goodnight with?
22:37Like, to say goodbye, you should take like a thing that shoots fake paper money and shoot
22:44it into the crowd.
22:46Wow.
22:47And then put your face on it.
22:49What should we call our late night show?
22:52Any name ideas?
22:53The island show.
22:54The island show.
22:54The island show.
22:55It's a late night show, might want to get something that has to do with like late or night
22:59or show in there.
23:01The Evening Island.
23:02The Evening Island.
23:03That's my idea.
23:04Two Evening Islands.
23:04Yeah, I took your idea.
23:05As a guy in the room who re-pitched a girl's idea, what do you say?
23:09Sorry.
23:10No, no.
23:11You say, I sold it.
23:13No, you say sorry.
23:15All right, so let's all say the name of the show.
23:17One, two, three.
23:19The Evening Island.
23:22Huh?
23:33When we return, an exclusive sneak peek at Evening Island with some very special guests.
23:39Stick around.
23:52Hey, everybody.
23:53Welcome back.
23:54Folks, before, you guys know, before the commercial break just now, we had a focus group made of
24:04children who told me what they'd like to see in a new late night show.
24:08We followed their advice and are now proud to present an exclusive trailer for the hit
24:12late night future series, Evening Island.
24:17From the producers of The Late Show with Dumbledore comes late night for a new generation.
24:24Evening Island with your host, Rebecca.
24:35Yeah, thank you.
24:37Welcome to Evening Island.
24:39I'm your host, Rebecca.
24:41These are great.
24:43Big political news.
24:45The one question on everyone's mind.
24:47Who's the queen of the pencil case?
24:49The ruler.
24:52The ruler.
24:58Critics rave.
24:59Rebecca is funny and kind.
25:05Featuring the best band in late night.
25:07Give it up for the Avett Brothers.
25:12Wait, did you say brother?
25:14Uh, yeah.
25:15We only want one.
25:16That works for me.
25:20Chicken banana.
25:22Chicken banana.
25:24Tune in for unforgettable interviews with the hottest stars of today.
25:30Up first, I'm so excited about this.
25:32You know him from his work as the son of Odin.
25:36Please welcome the Norse god Thor.
25:47Uh, it's actually pronounced Tor.
25:51Wow, so not Thor.
25:54No.
25:55Tor.
25:56It's a Viking name.
25:57And that accent?
25:59It's a Viking accent.
26:01Okay.
26:02And, um, how about you tell us about your new project?
26:05Well, I'm known as the god of thunder, but I've always, I've always wanted to direct.
26:12Emmy nominated for best talking, but not the best of talking for people on a late night show.
26:18People just like you.
26:20What's it like to pretend you're from the imaginary place called Pittsburgh?
26:25Well, Pittsburgh is a real place.
26:28It's in Pennsylvania.
26:29Yeah.
26:30Oh my gosh, I had no idea.
26:32Good.
26:33I'm never allowed to leave the island.
26:36Nope, never.
26:38Nope.
26:39Never ever.
26:41Can we leave?
26:44My next guest is the host of Last Week Tonight.
26:47I'm not going to make you to the desk, Rebecca.
26:49I was going to do a rant about the for-profit prison system.
26:56Oh, f***.
26:58No, a shark.
27:07With sponsors who you don't want to skip.
27:12Hi, I'm Stephen Colbert.
27:15Do you have hair?
27:16Do you have my show?
27:17Then you're going to want Stephen's hair cream for his show.
27:22You know our slogan.
27:23I'm actually doing great.
27:27Back to you, Rebecca.
27:32Evening Island with Rebecca.
27:35Hey, money for everyone.
27:38Every weeknight at...
27:40Six, seven.
27:41Tune in.
27:42Wait, Rebecca.
27:44I'm on my way.
27:45Yeah.
27:50I want to thank Jenny Slate, Liam Neeson, Issa Briones, Taylor Dearden, the Ava Brothers,
27:57John Oliver, Richard Kine, and all the children who have allowed us to steal their great ideas
28:02over the last decade.
28:03We'll be right back with John Krasinski.
28:20Hey, everybody.
28:21Welcome back to the show.
28:22My guest tonight is a talented actor, writer, and director.
28:25Please welcome back to The Late Show, Mr. John Krasinski.
28:56John Krasinski.
29:01John Krasinski, everybody.
29:05My next guest.
29:07Let's do one.
29:08There you go.
29:10Oh.
29:11Woo!
29:13Oh.
29:15Dr. Krasinski, it's wonderful to see you again.
29:18Thank you for letting me be your final guest ever.
29:21Yes.
29:22When they called me, I genuinely got moved.
29:25I got emotional.
29:25I cried, and I said, really?
29:27He wants me to be the final guest?
29:29Yeah.
29:30And I'm just so proud to be here for that occasion.
29:33Yeah.
29:34Uh, I have some...
29:36Fire away!
29:37I have, uh...
29:39I have something I need to talk to you about after the show.
29:40Great!
29:42Okay, okay, after playing Jack Ryan longer than anybody, you hung it up three years ago, and
29:47you know how much I love your Jack Ryan.
29:49Yeah, you're very nice.
29:50A very...
29:50Okay, so now you're back, though.
29:52Yeah.
29:52For the new film, Jack Ryan Ghost War.
29:54Yes.
29:55Uh, what's it about?
29:56What's it about?
29:57What's it about?
29:58Um...
29:58Are there any ghosts in this one?
29:59Is there, like, a crossover with The Conjuring or something?
30:01Yes.
30:02Because those people print money, my brother.
30:03So you've seen Hamlet, right?
30:05I have seen Hamlet.
30:05I play Jack Ryan's dad, who comes back to talk to Jack Ryan, and I play both.
30:11Yeah.
30:11That's really good.
30:12Yeah, it's pretty good.
30:13Yeah.
30:14Did you bring a clip by any chance?
30:16Of course I brought a clip.
30:17Do we need to set up this clip, sir?
30:19Um, yeah.
30:20Yeah, you can set up the clip.
30:21The, the, this is...
30:23I am teaming up, by the way, with the extremely talented Sienna Miller, who's joined our world.
30:29Oh, my God.
30:30Amazing.
30:31She's an MI6 agent.
30:33We have teamed up in this one, uh, you know, crazy adventure.
30:37Yeah.
30:38And, uh, we're in a, we're in a tight spot.
30:40All right.
30:50What?
30:51Security door.
30:53Security door.
31:20You're welcome.
31:24Uh, there's a high-speed chase in this.
31:27There is.
31:27But it's in the UK.
31:29Yeah.
31:29So it's on the other side of the road.
31:32It was...
31:32How much did that freak you out?
31:33It freaked me out, especially when cars were coming at me, and that wasn't even part of the stunt.
31:38That was just me on the wrong side of the road.
31:40Have you had a lot of experience with it on the wrong side?
31:43I have.
31:43Because I married a Brit, I have to go on the wrong side of the road every time I go
31:46see her family.
31:47And we should start saying it's the right side of the road over there.
31:50Well.
31:50But, um, no, it's, I had a lot of experience.
31:52It's actually the left side of the road.
31:57But it literally is.
31:58It literally is.
31:59I have a bar, if you wanted to think.
32:01I've got a bar back there.
32:02Is there?
32:02Is that a bar?
32:07Oh, yes.
32:10Like glass or shots?
32:12We should do shots.
32:13We should do shots, okay.
32:14I got, I got, uh...
32:16I'm just gonna reboot this.
32:17I got, I got bourbon.
32:18I got that, uh, Clooney Hollywood tequila.
32:22Okay.
32:22I got, uh, this is rum from Cuba, so technically illegal.
32:27And I got, I got vodka.
32:29What do you, what do you want?
32:30You're a bourbon man, aren't you?
32:31I am.
32:32Yep.
32:32Yeah.
32:32We're gonna do your rules.
32:34And this s*** ain't cheap.
32:35This is...
32:36This is, you ever had this?
32:37No.
32:38Oh, the Wellers.
32:39Oh, this is good.
32:41I have no idea where we are in this interview, and I do not care.
32:46It's all animated anyway.
32:48Yep.
32:53Oh.
32:56Oh.
32:57What do you got after this?
32:58You got something to do after this?
33:00I was gonna put my kids to bed, but I think I'm gonna put myself to bed.
33:04All right, this is a sip, this is another sip.
33:06Okay, so, you told me, when we were doing the Colbert questionnaire, do you remember
33:11when you did the Colbert questionnaire?
33:12Of course I did.
33:12Okay.
33:13You, um, you said that your favorite action...
33:15That was right before we arm wrestled.
33:16What?
33:16What?
33:17No.
33:18You want to, you...
33:18No, no, no.
33:20I was just saying, I remember it because it was before we arm wrestled.
33:23We have arm wrestled four times, my friend.
33:25That's right, and how many times have you won?
33:26We have arm wrestled four times.
33:29Let's go to commercial.
33:30You want, you know what?
33:31No, no, no.
33:32Do you want to go again?
33:33No, but we'll...
33:33Do you want to go again, or are you scared?
33:38We'll earn it.
33:39I'm not saying we're gonna go right now.
33:40Okay.
33:41I just want to let you know.
33:42If we slow play it and stretch, I'll go for it.
33:44How about this?
33:45You look like a guy who skips leg day.
33:48You want to leg wrestle?
33:50Wow.
33:51You want to leg wrestle?
33:51What I lack in bicep, I make up for in haunch, okay?
33:56Okay, so, uh, in the Colbert questionnaire,
33:58you said that your favorite action movie
34:00was The Dark Knight.
34:02Dark Knight, yes.
34:02But I have recently learned that you lied.
34:05Yeah.
34:05And that your favorite action movie is Die Hard.
34:08Die Hard, yeah.
34:09Well, when I was a kid, it was Die Hard.
34:11And then The Dark Knight,
34:12I sort of evolved into The Dark Knight
34:14because Chris Nolan, who you know, is...
34:16Yeah.
34:16He's the greatest.
34:17Why did you like The Die Hard when you were a kid?
34:19I just, I mean, Die Hard was just the best.
34:21It is the best Christmas movie.
34:23I was about to ask, is it a Christmas movie?
34:26Have you got a Christmas movie?
34:27I don't think I have.
34:31Quiet Place, Quiet Place could be Christmas time.
34:33It totally could be.
34:34We don't know.
34:35Yeah, we're just doing the bell silent, like...
34:38Yeah.
34:39Yeah, you're just hoping, like, it's the kind of...
34:40What do you think Quiet Place 3 is?
34:42Christmas movie.
34:43Wow.
34:43Yeah.
34:44We have to take a quick break.
34:45We'll be right back with more.
34:47John Krasinski, everybody.
34:48Stick around.
34:55I love TV, you're great.
34:57Hey!
34:58We're back with the star of Jack Ryan.
35:00Ghost War.
35:03John Krasinski, you know how much I love the Quiet Place films.
35:08I love anything where you don't talk.
35:09And so excited about Quiet Place 3.
35:13Yeah, you know.
35:14Do you always see this as a trilogy?
35:17I hadn't seen...
35:18I didn't know we were going to make more than one.
35:21It was not going to be a one-a-gy.
35:23No, I don't think anybody thought it was going to be more than one.
35:25And then when it made this huge splash, and everybody was so amazing about the movie,
35:29I actually just said, I'll only do it if I can think of a story.
35:32And then what happened was, yes.
35:34In my head, I thought...
35:35The first one, as we've talked about, is all about parenthood.
35:38It's what can you do...
35:39What would you really do for your kids to protect them?
35:41And then the second movie is, when your kids go out in the world, that fear that you have
35:46to let them go out and do their own thing.
35:48And the third one would be, if they do go out into the world, what does hope really look like?
35:51So this third one's about, what does hope really look like?
35:54Wow.
35:54Yeah.
35:55I'm going to choked up over it.
35:56Yeah.
35:57Yeah.
35:59Now, you get to reunite with all these people that you've made with the films with before.
36:02Yes.
36:03Your incredible teams.
36:04What are you most excited about?
36:04I have the absolute greatest crew.
36:05I mean, it's hard to choose what I'm more excited about, but the visual effects team
36:09at ILM, who are my heroes...
36:11Those monsters are amazing.
36:12For anybody who doesn't know, ILM created the Jurassic Park dinosaurs.
36:15They created E.T.
36:16Industrial Light and Magic.
36:18Industrial Light and Magic.
36:19They do all the visual effects for these huge movies.
36:21Yeah.
36:23And some of my most...
36:25Some of my most favorite...
36:29Some of my favorite memories of Quiet Place are getting in a dark room with these people
36:33who are showing me all these different shots, and they're like, the creature comes here,
36:36and then we're going to do this, and this is in the background.
36:39And so my birthday on...
36:42I think it was number two.
36:44It was my birthday, and we were going through all these shots, and we were about two weeks
36:47from delivering, and I was a little stressed, and we were going through each shot.
36:50And they said, oh, wait, we have one more.
36:52And I said, all right, guys, I got to go.
36:53And they said, no, no, we just have one more.
36:54And they played this clip, and it was my birthday present to make me laugh on my birthday.
37:00And this was the clip.
37:01And this is a shot of Emily in the foreground.
37:03So what this is, is this is me reviewing a shot that actually didn't end up in the movie,
37:07but it's Emily in the foreground being emotional about my character in the first movie dying.
37:11Spoiler alert.
37:13And she's looking over to where my body is, and she sees something different.
37:19Yvonne?
37:46And then they all sang me happy birthday.
37:48Yeah, just eating you.
37:50Yeah, they were just eating me and using my hand as a toothpick.
37:52Yeah, exactly.
37:54I'm sure you've thought about this.
37:55Do you think you'd be delicious?
37:56Yes.
37:57I think I'd be pretty delicious.
37:59Because I don't do leg day, as you said.
38:01Right, exactly.
38:01And I'm very well marbled.
38:04I've been called the Kobe beef of late night.
38:07I've heard that before.
38:09So here's the thing.
38:10Here's the thing, is that I think we've put it off long enough.
38:15You ready to leg wrestle?
38:17Leg wrestle?
38:18Leg wrestle.
38:19Did you not hear me before?
38:20You need to explain to me what that is.
38:21You don't know what leg wrestling is?
38:23I think we're both going to the hospital.
38:24Do you have brothers?
38:25Mm-hmm.
38:26They're what?
38:27Okay.
38:30Leg wrestling is this.
38:32Get up.
38:37Let's pull these back.
38:38Let's pull these back.
38:40Okay.
38:44Okay.
38:45So what you do is we lie side by side.
38:48Yep.
38:48Okay.
38:50Not going to help.
38:51Not going to help.
38:52We lie side by side.
38:53Okay, come on.
38:54Lie down.
38:54Okay, so I'll lie here.
38:56You lie there.
38:56Okay.
38:57Move the mic back.
38:59Okay.
38:59No, you lie the other way.
39:01No, it's fine.
39:06So, okay.
39:08Okay.
39:09All right.
39:09So you lie there.
39:10Yep.
39:10Are you left-legged or right-legged?
39:13I'm right-legged.
39:14Mine too.
39:15Okay.
39:16Okay.
39:16So what you do is...
39:17What?
39:17No, this is good.
39:18So what happens is...
39:19What happens is that you go like this.
39:21You go one...
39:24You do a two.
39:24Ready?
39:26One, two, three.
39:28And on the third, you hook behind here
39:30and you try to flip the other guy.
39:32Okay.
39:34I'm so sorry.
39:35Can someone call an ambulance now?
39:38Just preemptively.
39:39Preemptively.
39:39Okay.
39:40So it should be hip to hip.
39:41Okay, ready?
39:42Hip to hip.
39:43Ready?
39:43Are you ready?
39:44I love you.
39:45But we hook arms.
39:46We hook arms.
39:46Okay?
39:47We hook arms.
39:47Okay, ready?
39:48Okay, you try to flip the other guy.
39:50All right, listen, listen.
39:52Jack Ryan, Ghost War
39:55is available May 20th on Prime Video.
39:59For one last time, ladies and gentlemen,
40:01Mr. John Krasinski.
40:03Here we go.
40:04Ready?
40:04Go.
40:04One, two, three.
40:08One, two, three.
40:16Hey, that's it for The Late Show.
40:18Tune in next week,
40:19and I'll be joined by Julian Louis-Dreyfus,
40:22Pedro Pascal, Tom Hanks, David Letterman,
40:25and my co-hosts from Strikeforce 5.
40:28Good night.
40:29Good night.
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