- 15 minutes ago
T.h.e B.o.y.s Season 5 Episode 5
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Why can't you smell him alone, are you?
00:00:01There's some art.
00:00:02He just disappears every afternoon.
00:00:03Won't say where he's going, won't say shit.
00:00:05I trusted you.
00:00:06Are you still buttered about me bringing in Stan Edgar?
00:00:08I thought we were friends.
00:00:09I needed a win from Homelander.
00:00:10Edgar was that.
00:00:11We get the V1 first, we save Annie, we save Kimiko.
00:00:13Homelander gets it.
00:00:14He's immortal.
00:00:15Punch luck at bleeding, sledgehammer.
00:00:16That'll taste for fucking smack.
00:00:18What I'm saying.
00:00:19Rich Geranium!
00:00:20Good luck getting out of a soup-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
00:00:24The V1 wasn't here.
00:00:25Just fucking do it already.
00:00:27I was visited by an angel.
00:00:30Today, we commit ourselves to a divine rebranding.
00:00:34I am the Messiah.
00:00:35The Democratic Church of America!
00:00:42They're up before dawn.
00:00:44They got a thousand heads of cattle to herd.
00:00:47It's hard work and strong coffee.
00:00:50Old leather saddles and the worn stock of a trusty Remington.
00:00:54And when the sun finally rises over the range, the cowboys know America is God's country.
00:01:02And Americans, God's chosen people.
00:01:05So shouldn't we have our own church for Americans?
00:01:08With American grit and American values.
00:01:11Founded by the greatest American of us all.
00:01:14A true American prophet.
00:01:16Come home to the Democratic Church of America.
00:01:19Come home to Homelander.
00:01:22Already, the campaign's aided awareness outpaces the norm by plus 22 points.
00:01:28Led by white men and women ages 36 to 54 and 55 to 72.
00:01:33We are also seeing massive growth on the ground level.
00:01:37Yeah.
00:01:38I'm seeing massive growth myself.
00:01:43Church attendance is up.
00:01:46And our online donation CTR is at 44%.
00:01:49That's a new record.
00:01:50Amen.
00:01:50Amen.
00:01:51Next up is a 500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital.
00:01:59Ain't nobody won't know about the Democratic Church of America and its chosen prophet.
00:02:10Prophets are servants.
00:02:12Of course.
00:02:14Sir, great point.
00:02:15We're just trying to ease people into it.
00:02:18No, no, no.
00:02:19We need to prepare America for my ascension.
00:02:23You must be honest.
00:02:24You must be direct.
00:02:25I like savior.
00:02:27Or...
00:02:28Lord.
00:02:29Yes, I couldn't agree more, sir.
00:02:32Religion is not about being meek.
00:02:34We should dominate the seven mountains of society.
00:02:38Bring the kingdom of heaven to earth.
00:02:40Amen.
00:02:40Amen.
00:02:41I love all that.
00:02:43So fucking dope.
00:02:44Easter is just around the corner.
00:02:45How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
00:02:52Second coming?
00:02:54Let's be clear.
00:02:55I am not the son of God.
00:02:58Well, of course, many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
00:03:04Well, that's just confusing.
00:03:06I don't want my church getting involved in all that.
00:03:08Exactly.
00:03:09Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have...
00:03:13Yes.
00:03:25We gonna drag our feet because of a book.
00:03:27Not a book.
00:03:29The book.
00:03:32The Homelander Bible.
00:03:38Heavy.
00:03:41It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written
00:03:48by A.I., trained on the works of Pat Robertson.
00:03:50See, we need to pass the torch, sir.
00:03:53From Jesus to you, sir.
00:03:57We don't get more than one chance at a first impression.
00:04:00Are we really gonna rush something this important?
00:04:05We need Arby's, after all.
00:04:08No.
00:04:09We're the Cheesecake Factor.
00:04:14Hmm.
00:04:15Okay.
00:04:17We'll do it your way.
00:04:23You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
00:04:30Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
00:04:34Oh.
00:04:34Just recall all soups stationed overseas.
00:04:37American heroes should be protecting America, not who gives a fuck a stand.
00:04:41Great idea.
00:04:49Something wrong.
00:04:51Everything's peachy.
00:05:00Well, I can see why they call this the city that never sleeps.
00:05:04How could you with all that racket?
00:05:06You get used to it.
00:05:07You seem to if.
00:05:08City life seems to suit you.
00:05:10I guess.
00:05:14I was surprised you called, Reverend.
00:05:16Well, I was surprised you answered.
00:05:17It's been a while, and I said things I regret.
00:05:21You backstay.
00:05:25You remember when you used to stop by the church after school?
00:05:28Use your powers to light our candles.
00:05:31I remember staying for supper.
00:05:33Oh, man.
00:05:35Those fish fry Fridays.
00:05:37I never liked eating alone.
00:05:38Well, were you making sure I got at least one hot square a day?
00:05:45Reverend, is something the matter?
00:05:47I'm embarrassed to bug you with all of this, but the last couple of weeks have been rough.
00:05:52We've been bleeding congregants to the Democratic Church of America, and what folks are sticking around and shared.
00:05:59Why?
00:06:00Because last Sunday, somebody melted our stained glass window of Mary.
00:06:05Melted it?
00:06:06Mm-hmm.
00:06:07It was our local soup.
00:06:09Praying mantis.
00:06:11He sprayed acid out of his butt.
00:06:13I mean, his glands, his whatever.
00:06:15Yeah.
00:06:16I know him.
00:06:16It was a message.
00:06:18I called the sheriff.
00:06:19I called the mayor.
00:06:20I called half of Florida.
00:06:22You're all I got left.
00:06:25Reverend, I don't know what I could do.
00:06:26You gotta be able to do something.
00:06:29Your Homelander's right hand.
00:06:32Homelander's not too keen on being challenged.
00:06:38Why not just pay the franchise fee and join?
00:06:40Honey, we can barely afford to pay our water bill.
00:06:44Besides, the Democratic Church of America, God does not favor one nation over another.
00:06:50Doesn't he, though?
00:06:51No.
00:06:53Name one way God's ever blessed Canada.
00:06:58Just cause Homelander tells you that the sky is red does not make it so.
00:07:05You still have that, uh, that Jesus action figure.
00:07:09I'm surprised you remember that.
00:07:11How could I forget it?
00:07:12You carried it with you everywhere you went.
00:07:13You almost worked face off the thing.
00:07:16You still carry him?
00:07:22It's complicated.
00:07:24No, it's...
00:07:25I don't think it is.
00:07:27Homelander's, uh...
00:07:28He's a great American.
00:07:30He can stop bullets.
00:07:31He can fly.
00:07:32Do amazing things.
00:07:34Those aren't miracles.
00:07:35And he is not God.
00:07:39If you're the same Misty Tucker Gray that I taught the Bible to over fish,
00:07:43I think you know it, too.
00:08:00We ain't doing that again.
00:08:02He he he.
00:08:02It's what you said the last six times.
00:08:04Well, I really mean it to sound.
00:08:09You seem a little out of it.
00:08:11Did you nut?
00:08:12Cause usually you nut.
00:08:17Were you baptized?
00:08:23Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill.
00:08:25Governor Sproul did the honors.
00:08:27My family kept up appearances, of course.
00:08:30And we never set foot in church again.
00:08:32I had lunch today with the Reverend who baptized me.
00:08:35He's been getting heat to switch over to our church.
00:08:39You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him?
00:08:41Just give him a little more time.
00:08:45I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
00:08:50So you didn't nut.
00:08:55You know, this whole Homelander is God shit.
00:08:57It's...
00:08:58It's fucking ridiculous.
00:09:01Really? You think so?
00:09:01If he's a second coming, then what does that make me?
00:09:05Joseph?
00:09:06We talk about the biggest cook in history.
00:09:08Man trades his best cow to bag some hot ass virgin.
00:09:11And then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet.
00:09:16Fuck that.
00:09:18I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
00:09:25Okay.
00:09:27Of course I worship Homelander.
00:09:30He's always been a God to me.
00:09:32Look, I'll tell you this.
00:09:33If there is a God...
00:09:36Sure as hell didn't come out of my balls.
00:09:39I gotta go.
00:09:40Where are you off to?
00:09:42L.A.
00:09:44I fucking hate L.A.
00:09:50Homelander?
00:09:53Homelander?
00:09:56Hello?
00:10:01Does Homelander know you're here?
00:10:03Yeah, of course.
00:10:04Some of our church's followers generously donated their milk for our savior's sustenance.
00:10:09I mean, he gotta get his liquid gold from somewhere, am I right?
00:10:13You need some.
00:10:15Where's Homelander?
00:10:16He didn't tell you.
00:10:18Yeah, he had to fly off to L.A.
00:10:20Strange you didn't mention anything.
00:10:22Well, I've been real busy working for his glory, so not much time for chit chat.
00:10:26Of course.
00:10:27Look at us.
00:10:28The regular Peter and John, just bearing witness and spreading the gospel.
00:10:31A real blessing.
00:10:32Amen.
00:10:33Amen.
00:10:33A real blessing.
00:10:35Oh, uh, by the way, after our meeting, I checked in on the timeline of that Homelander Bible.
00:10:42And, uh, the printers were happy to rush it to make Easter.
00:10:47Ain't you full of get up and go?
00:10:50Thing is, they said it wasn't a problem.
00:10:52So I wondered why you were so bent on holding it up.
00:10:57I wasn't.
00:10:59See, I just wanted to make sure everything was just right.
00:11:03Listen, if you are ever feeling any doubts, come to me.
00:11:09I could be a warm shoulder and a friendly ear.
00:11:13Well, bless your heart.
00:11:16I'll do that.
00:11:20What'd you want to talk to Homelander about?
00:11:23Maybe I could help.
00:11:24That's so kind to you.
00:11:28It wasn't important.
00:11:40What's up?
00:11:41Um, got a tip from our southeast stringer.
00:11:45Praying Mantis raided half a dozen churches in Daytona.
00:11:49Was one of them Holly Baptist?
00:11:52The man upstairs wants us, you, to run with it top of show.
00:11:57He thinks with it being your home church and all, it'll make a strong statement.
00:12:01So I'll have Chris load the new graphics.
00:12:04I gotta finish getting ready.
00:12:15Welcome to Truth Bomb.
00:12:17Our top story tonight is a personal one.
00:12:20It's the story of my hometown church.
00:12:23Holy Baptist of Daytona.
00:12:25He was the church I grew up in.
00:12:26Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday.
00:12:30But that church...
00:12:36That church...
00:12:40That church...
00:12:45Has become...
00:12:47A hotbed...
00:12:49Of starlighter infestation.
00:12:52And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree...
00:12:56Has been infected...
00:12:58By starlight seditious propaganda.
00:13:04Yeah.
00:13:07I never told a soul of this, but...
00:13:10When I was a little girl, the Reverend regularly had me over for supper.
00:13:15Alone.
00:13:18Yeah.
00:13:19Nothing ever happened to me, but...
00:13:22I heard stories...
00:13:25About his...
00:13:26Fish fry Fridays.
00:13:28And...
00:13:29If that ain't code for child grooming, I don't know what is.
00:13:35How much longer...
00:13:37Are we gonna let these institutional...
00:13:40Pedo churches...
00:13:42Diddle our babies?
00:13:46Americans deserve better.
00:13:50They deserve...
00:13:53They deserve...
00:13:54Homelander.
00:13:56They deserve...
00:13:58The democratic church...
00:14:01Of America.
00:14:15Something wrong?
00:14:18Everything's peachy.
00:14:23Would you like some knee pads?
00:14:24I'm sorry?
00:14:25You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog.
00:14:29So I'm asking if you would like some knee pads.
00:14:32Take it easy on the little guy.
00:14:34You brought me Stan Edgar.
00:14:38Thank you, sir.
00:15:00Harry Gibb.
00:15:01B-G.
00:15:02There's no B-G's without me.
00:15:04B-G means the brother's Gibb.
00:15:06What, you think that falsetto makes you boss?
00:15:08I think Saturday Night People going platinum 16 times makes me boss.
00:15:11We made that album together.
00:15:13Nothing...
00:15:14Without me and Maurice.
00:15:15Don't you dare bring me to this?
00:15:18I don't know, it feels inauthentic for Barry to move like this.
00:15:22Oh yeah?
00:15:25In what way?
00:15:26Ego maniacs like Barry are really just insecure.
00:15:30I think he's threatened by Robin's talent.
00:15:32So maybe he expresses that by doing a barrel roll instead.
00:15:39Never mind, sorry, I broke character. I didn't mean to...
00:15:42Yeah.
00:15:43You need to apologize, alright?
00:15:46For being a fucking genius.
00:15:49Are you fucking kidding me? A barrel roll?
00:15:52Holy shit.
00:15:55It's brilliant.
00:15:56Justin, I don't know who you are, or where you came from, or anything about you,
00:16:01but my god, if you are not a fucking talent...
00:16:04Well, thank you.
00:16:05No.
00:16:09Let's take ten, everybody.
00:16:13Alright.
00:16:16Lay it on me, Justin.
00:16:18What do you mean?
00:16:19You're acting.
00:16:20Up there, stop acting.
00:16:22Stop acting.
00:16:24Don't act.
00:16:26Don't.
00:16:27Because I don't need an actor.
00:16:30I need Barry Gibb.
00:16:31You're right, boss, I'm sorry.
00:16:34My process has been all over the map.
00:16:35It just...
00:16:36This scene is a little close to home.
00:16:39Alright, and I guess the egomaniac we're talking about, that's someone in your life?
00:16:43Someone I work with.
00:16:45In my... day job.
00:16:46Alright, what are you doing so quit?
00:16:48There's no way this gig is more important than the fucking theater.
00:16:50I thought this guy was my brother, but he straight up hijacked something I did and took all the credit
00:16:54for it.
00:16:55Alright.
00:16:58I've been trying to keep this in the DL, but...
00:17:01In addition to my theater work, I also happen to be a massive feature director.
00:17:06For Saturn Wars to prove it.
00:17:08So I was working on this little film, I don't know, you may have heard of it called Dawn of
00:17:11the Seven.
00:17:12Billion Dollar Gross, but who's counting?
00:17:15It was this fucking guy.
00:17:16The Deep.
00:17:18He just kept upstaging everyone with his trite, shitty improvs.
00:17:23I heard he's a real baby.
00:17:24He's a Jared Leto-level baby bitch.
00:17:27But you gotta put people like that in their place, right?
00:17:31So whoever's upstaging you, you fucking upstage them right back.
00:17:35Okay?
00:17:35Alright.
00:17:37You got this, Bubala.
00:17:42So great you're here, bro.
00:17:44Yes, well, we need to meet young men where they are if we plan to usher them into the fold
00:17:50of our Lord.
00:17:51Tell some of those.
00:17:52So listen, you know, I've got some ideas about how to take this whole church thing to the next level.
00:17:57Oh yeah?
00:17:58So you know how communion wafers taste like pride shit?
00:18:02What if they were Nilla wafers instead, huh?
00:18:07Oh yeah, and if you could throw in a commandment about how it's not cool to try and bone another
00:18:11bro's girl?
00:18:13We have that.
00:18:14That already exists.
00:18:16Great minds then, eh?
00:18:18Point is, me and Holmander, we go way back.
00:18:20I know what he likes, doesn't like, so...
00:18:22Do you ever want to bounce some ideas back?
00:18:24Don't listen to him, bro.
00:18:26Oh, shit!
00:18:28He talks.
00:18:28No, he does not.
00:18:29He's not trying to help you.
00:18:30He's like those fish who suck on whales.
00:18:32Talking about a sucker fish?
00:18:34He latches onto every new soup.
00:18:36Starlight, me, sage.
00:18:38He pretends he's the guy, but he's not the guy.
00:18:40He's a joke.
00:18:41That smell on his breath?
00:18:42It's because he's been clam diving.
00:18:44On clams.
00:18:45What?
00:18:45I have not done that.
00:18:47I have definitely never done that.
00:18:48Look, if you really want to impress Homelander, bring me on stage for Easter.
00:18:52Homelander can heal me, I'll get my voice back, and then I'll fly.
00:18:56You know I can fly, right?
00:18:58That's so fucking stupid, bro.
00:19:00Well, now, I'm gonna have to run this by Homelander, but, uh...
00:19:03An honest-to-God faith healing.
00:19:04That's like a nine-point bump with Pentecostals right there.
00:19:09Goddamn.
00:19:25There's my guy.
00:19:27Little pep in the step, huh?
00:19:30Sir, I did what you said, and I upstaged that fuckhead at work.
00:19:34I'm proud of you.
00:19:36Now, that's exactly how I handled that motherfucker Paul Rudd.
00:19:38He's not who you think he is.
00:19:40I appreciate the help, boss.
00:19:42You...
00:19:43Oh, my God, kid.
00:19:44You know what?
00:19:44Keep this between us, bud.
00:19:46You know of a lot of studios hung me out to dry after they shelved training atrium?
00:19:50Oh, yeah.
00:19:51And at first I drowned my sorrows in crack.
00:19:54Nitrous, huffing glue, huffing paint, paint thinner,
00:19:56cough medicine, guns, high-risk sex.
00:19:58Codeine.
00:19:59Did you ever fuck on codeine?
00:20:03But that's not the answer.
00:20:07This play...
00:20:09It saved me.
00:20:10You saved me.
00:20:12Wow.
00:20:14No.
00:20:15Kid, thank you.
00:20:17Because I got some big news.
00:20:20We're going to Broadway.
00:20:21Yes.
00:20:22No more mindless studio bullshit.
00:20:24I can probably be the artist I just dreamed of, and you...
00:20:26Kid, you have no idea, but you're gonna be a fucking star.
00:20:30So you ditch that office, kid, because you and I, we're gonna save the world.
00:20:35With our talent.
00:20:37Oh, my God.
00:20:37You have no idea how much this means to me.
00:20:41I love you, kid.
00:20:44You start your focal warm-ups.
00:20:47I'm gonna drop a juice.
00:20:55Fucking Tony Gilroy.
00:20:56What's your turn?
00:21:05Hey!
00:21:05Hey, Jack!
00:21:08Madam?
00:21:10Get it up!
00:21:15God.
00:21:22Come here.
00:21:26Closer.
00:21:31My eyes hurt so fucking much.
00:21:57Hey, bro.
00:21:58Don't you fucking hate bro me? What the fuck is wrong with you?
00:22:02Nothing. Why? What's wrong with you?
00:22:04I call you a clam diver and you send an eel to ass-murder Adam Bork?
00:22:08Did something terrible happen at your play rehearsal today?
00:22:10Which is definitely not your job.
00:22:12The lead producer's stepping away. They're shuttering the production.
00:22:15Get it coming.
00:22:17Fucker didn't use my improv in Dawn of the Seven.
00:22:19He believed in me, you fuckwit! And for what?
00:22:21Cause I fucking upstaged you with Oh Father?
00:22:25Here's what's gonna happen now.
00:22:27You are gonna fucking do whatever I say, whenever I say it.
00:22:31I might tell Homelander you are in some pussy play.
00:22:34Which is a definite conflict of interest since Homelander outlawed the National Endowment for the Arts.
00:22:41You have nothing to say?
00:22:43Nice.
00:22:45You were getting the hang of that Miser technique, huh?
00:22:54Hey buddy!
00:22:56Good boy!
00:22:58Good boy!
00:23:00Good boy!
00:23:03You wanna fuck me?
00:23:05You wanna fuck me like a good boy?
00:23:08Come on!
00:23:09There you go!
00:23:11There you go!
00:23:24Hold on.
00:23:25What are you doing?
00:23:26Frenchie won't cook my steak pasts Opinium Rare.
00:23:29And I like mine burnt!
00:23:30With ketchup.
00:23:31Okay, and why don't you tell him that?
00:23:32I have.
00:23:34Maybe we just don't like the same steak, you know?
00:23:42Jesus Christ. Has Butcher ever washed this thing?
00:23:45Oh, that thing is, like, glazed in dog semen.
00:23:48Like a cum donut. Cumnut?
00:23:50Did I just invent a new word?
00:23:52You know what? I'm gonna do us all a favor and wash this.
00:23:55Tara, your boyfriend is about to become a virgin all over again.
00:23:58Whew. Good boy.
00:24:18What the fuck is that? You're finally building yourself a fuckbot?
00:24:21Something me and Frenchy are working on.
00:24:24Proper preparation and planning, my son.
00:24:26None of my fucking business got it.
00:24:28Yeah, that's the one. Any leads on Bumsite?
00:24:31Not a damn thing.
00:24:32Well, he's an unbreakable cunt that flies through the air. How hard can it be?
00:24:35Well, it was so easy. What do you look for?
00:24:37I've had every single dead end and then some.
00:24:40How about legend? That old bastard knows everyone.
00:24:42He's in the wind. If I had as much shit on body as he did, I'd fuck off to him.
00:24:48Oh, shit.
00:24:49Wait, wait, wait.
00:24:50Hey, Tara, no!
00:24:51Hey, get down!
00:24:52Good boy, good boy.
00:24:53No, Tara, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:24:54No.
00:24:55You can't have no chocolate, mate.
00:24:56Yeah, get your own chocolate.
00:25:04What?
00:25:05Free Mississippi rule.
00:25:06Bloody hell.
00:25:07I never thought I'd see the day.
00:25:09It's got a fucking pubic here on it, I know.
00:25:11Tasty, too.
00:25:12Hmm?
00:25:15You know what's funny?
00:25:18Here we are.
00:25:19Parked in the middle of hell.
00:25:21And I've never slept or shit so good my entire life.
00:25:25What's different?
00:25:26Well, like you.
00:25:28I just finally realized that I'm already dead.
00:25:32And once I just gave up that stress of needing to stay alive, it's like...
00:25:38Shit got easier.
00:25:40You know, I spent my whole life going after Soldier Boy for what he did to my family.
00:25:45Yet, he's immortal?
00:25:48He's immune.
00:25:50What kind of fucking cosmic joke is that?
00:25:53So you tell me, Butcher.
00:25:56Why should I keep going?
00:25:58What?
00:25:59You keep going from the knee?
00:26:01To your knee?
00:26:02They're better off without me.
00:26:04How can a man so smart be so fucking daft?
00:26:06They are.
00:26:08And I'm better off without them.
00:26:10Why?
00:26:11Because if I thought that there was a snowball's chance in hell, then I might see him again.
00:26:18Then I might be too scared to do what you and me both need me to do.
00:26:42Oh, bonsoir, mon toutou.
00:26:45You wonder what am I doing?
00:26:47Well, first, I made Kimiko.
00:26:50The perfect French ribeye.
00:26:53You know, she loves my steak.
00:26:56And for dessert, my soufflé en chocolat.
00:27:00It's a thing of legend.
00:27:09You know, she wants one of you, too.
00:27:12I don't know.
00:27:13What is it that you do?
00:27:16Eat?
00:27:17Sleep?
00:27:18Or fetch?
00:27:19Ha-ha.
00:27:20I throw the ball, you bring it back.
00:27:23I throw the ball, you bring it back.
00:27:26It's a nightmare of futility.
00:27:27You see, what would I do with one of you?
00:27:30I've killed every plant I've owned.
00:27:33I'll surely kill you, too.
00:27:40She deserves peace.
00:27:43A normal life.
00:27:47But I...
00:27:52I don't know how to give her this.
00:27:57If I even can.
00:28:03Oh, la, la, la, la.
00:28:09No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:28:11Oh, fut de put.
00:28:17I need fresh air.
00:28:19You wanna come?
00:28:20Outside?
00:28:21No?
00:28:22Okay.
00:28:28If you and M.M. still think...
00:28:30Oh, for fuck's sake, Huey.
00:28:31Knock it off with this V1 shite.
00:28:33You're doing me fucking head in.
00:28:35Oi.
00:28:36Terror.
00:28:37Cut it out.
00:28:38Come on.
00:28:39Now, listen.
00:28:40If we do find that stuff, we're not making any fucking vaccines out of it, alright?
00:28:43We're not the department of fucking health.
00:28:45We burn this shit before Homelander gets his paws in it, and that's it.
00:28:48If you wanna kill yourself, knock yourself out.
00:28:50But why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
00:28:52Oh, cause I'm fucking right.
00:28:53Cause I've always been right.
00:28:55I've been telling you lot, from the fucking start, the sky has fallen.
00:28:58And guess what?
00:28:59The sky fucking fell.
00:29:00Will you kinda help bring it down?
00:29:02Oh, don't give me that bollocks.
00:29:04Listen.
00:29:05Homelander thinks he's a fucking god.
00:29:07Once he becomes a mortal, he's gonna start killing like one.
00:29:10And we are talking millions of people.
00:29:13Now, are you telling me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with
00:29:17your girl,
00:29:20knowing that you could've stopped it?
00:29:24You can live with that, can ya?
00:29:28What if it was Becca?
00:29:31You just let her die?
00:29:38I did let her die.
00:29:40Look.
00:29:42I know that Homelander comes first.
00:29:45I really do.
00:29:46All I'm asking is that we try.
00:29:50Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.
00:29:55Oi, Tero, no!
00:29:58Oi, get out of there!
00:29:59Oh, bloody hell.
00:30:00Is that chocolate?
00:30:01Isn't chocolate bad for dogs?
00:30:02For a dog that soda's fucking lethal.
00:30:04Oi, fresher, you cunt!
00:30:06Get me some hydrogen peroxide, would ya?
00:30:07Okay, we have some in the first aid kit.
00:30:09Give me one second.
00:30:10What's happened?
00:30:10You poisoned my fucking dog.
00:30:12No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:30:14All you need is charcoal.
00:30:16We should call a vet.
00:30:17They're gonna tell you you need charcoal.
00:30:18Guys, we got this.
00:30:18Just give me some room.
00:30:19I'll order some mouth open.
00:30:20You pour, right?
00:30:21On the count of three.
00:30:22One, two, three.
00:30:23Sorry, buddy.
00:30:25Here you go.
00:30:27That's all right, all right.
00:30:32Oh, that's it.
00:30:33That's a good boy.
00:30:34You're all right.
00:30:35You're gonna be all right, boy.
00:30:38Fucking hell.
00:30:43Hey, you want some turkey?
00:30:47Well, first you gotta fuck me.
00:30:51Then I'll give you the turkey.
00:30:58Oi.
00:31:00There he is, eh?
00:31:03Hey, were you having a dream, were you?
00:31:05Was it a goodie?
00:31:09How's he doing?
00:31:10Yeah.
00:31:11He's all right.
00:31:13Thank you for, uh...
00:31:16Yeah.
00:31:17All good.
00:31:27Oi.
00:31:29Yui.
00:31:33Listen, uh...
00:31:35If we do find that B1,
00:31:38and if it don't fuck us,
00:31:42you can have some.
00:31:45For Annie and, uh...
00:31:48We're coming up.
00:31:49What about you?
00:31:53Oi.
00:31:53But as soon as Frenchy's got that shite sorted,
00:31:56we're using it, all right?
00:31:57Really or not?
00:32:11What you looking at?
00:32:14Nothing.
00:32:19And as for you, don't you ever fucking do that to me again, all right?
00:32:24Good boy.
00:32:26Now, I caught Blondie trying to give you a wink plus the boil wash.
00:32:31I don't know how you love the crunchy bits of you, so I do want to know how you love
00:32:34those crunchy bits.
00:32:36Yeah.
00:32:48You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
00:32:55Local law can handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
00:32:58All right, well, recall all the soup stations overseas.
00:33:00American heroes should be protecting America, not who gives a fuck a stand.
00:33:05Great idea.
00:33:17Where to?
00:33:18Grime Analytics.
00:33:25That was thrilling, wasn't it?
00:33:29What a bright future we have ahead of us.
00:33:32It was a real Gucci-oni piss party.
00:33:34Imagine how much more exciting it'll be when Homelander becomes immortal.
00:33:39Who?
00:33:41Have you found the viewer?
00:33:45No.
00:33:46Homelander hasn't gotten anything out of Stan Edgar.
00:33:49No.
00:33:50But I haven't had a crack at him yet.
00:34:02Jesus, give me a little personal space, will you, Garth?
00:34:0624-7 agents must be hard for someone so into scat play.
00:34:10You realize I do actually work?
00:34:11I was this close to convincing the FCC to pull every broadcast license but BNN.
00:34:16Homelander feels this is more important.
00:34:20What now?
00:34:21The President and I stand by this decision.
00:34:23We need our American soups here in America.
00:34:26Well, isn't it kinda sorta your fault for being invaded?
00:34:30You might as well have been wearing a short skirt.
00:34:32Man, those Ukrainians sure have a fucking mouth on them.
00:34:35Remember, you're doing the Lord's work.
00:34:38Word's out.
00:34:39Vod's stock is tanking.
00:34:40The international markets are in free fall and you're not the least bit concerned.
00:34:43It's not about what I think.
00:34:45It's what the man wants.
00:34:48It's always what the man wants.
00:34:55You want a drink?
00:34:57So we're at the climate change summit in Reykjavik when the Swiss Chancellor says we should all race our Gulf
00:35:02Streams.
00:35:03The amount of CO2 we splooched out, the air was chewy the next day.
00:35:07Lolz.
00:35:11Come on.
00:35:12What do you want from me, Sage?
00:35:14What makes you think I want anything from you?
00:35:15You haven't called me the poster child for late term abortion once today.
00:35:19Truth be told, you're not the one I want.
00:35:22I know.
00:35:23You know what Homelander's doing.
00:35:24He's going after the V1.
00:35:25Wait, what?
00:35:27And if he gets any.
00:35:29He lives forever.
00:35:29What is V1?
00:35:31And what do you mean Homelander lives forever?
00:35:33I've done what I can to make sure he doesn't find any.
00:35:36How do you know about this and I don't?
00:35:38Have you two been talking without me?
00:35:41Homelander is an open baby book, but Soldier Boy is tricky.
00:35:44I need you to read his mind.
00:35:45What he knows, where they're headed next, and most importantly,
00:35:48if Soldier Boy is warming up to his sadistic regret.
00:35:52Okay, I'm in.
00:35:54The fuck you are?
00:35:55We are not conspiring against Homelander.
00:35:57Hey, don't forget the Aung San Suu Kyi quote tramp stamped on our ass.
00:36:01The only real prison is fear.
00:36:03No, the only real prison is prison.
00:36:05Ashley, what do you think happens to you if I die?
00:36:08I'm not about to risk my neck because I let an overgrown Boyle do my thinking for me.
00:36:13Okay, fine. Just stay.
00:36:15Why? So you can play more mind games?
00:36:17You gave me your answer. I heard you.
00:36:19Now, don't make me drink alone.
00:36:24I'm starving.
00:36:25Are you starving?
00:36:26I'd kill for a chalupa right now.
00:36:28I'd kill for a big, juicy dick.
00:36:30Well, we should call Gavin.
00:36:32He's good for the movie.
00:36:33Oh, man, the amount of stunts we shot back here.
00:36:35We looked like Pepe Le Pew.
00:36:36We are not booty-calling my high school boyfriend.
00:36:39But he was so sweet, and Mom loved him, remember?
00:36:41Yeah, well, Mom's dead, so she doesn't get a say.
00:36:43And neither do you.
00:36:44What happened to her?
00:36:46Cancer.
00:36:47My grandmother, too.
00:36:49And what was she like?
00:36:50Your mother.
00:36:52Tiny.
00:36:54And terrifying.
00:36:55This one bitch, Harper Hewitt, used to make fun of my nose.
00:36:58So my mom tells Mr. Hewitt that Mrs. Hewitt has been railing the UPS guy.
00:37:03Which she was.
00:37:05That was Mom, bringing a nuke to a knife fight.
00:37:11So they moved.
00:37:12And the rest of kindergarten was no sweat.
00:37:15My folks shot me out with V, thinking I'd be a mail ticket.
00:37:19And then my power turned out to be smarts.
00:37:22Which is the worst fucking one.
00:37:23Try knowing what everyone really thinks of you all day.
00:37:25Ooh, trust me.
00:37:26They think people hate more than just about anything.
00:37:30It's feeling stupid.
00:37:31So, when a three-year-old corrects your grammar,
00:37:34or, oh, tells them their life dream yogurt shop is doomed to fail,
00:37:39they start to hate you, too.
00:37:40At least my parents did.
00:37:42So they dumped me at my grandma's.
00:37:44But, Grandma.
00:37:45You know, she was the only one who ever thought it was a gift.
00:37:49I would quote Othello to her, word for word, and, and...
00:37:54She'd clap.
00:37:56And laugh her big laugh.
00:38:00I'm still so pissed she is gone.
00:38:04I used to want to be like my mom.
00:38:07Strong.
00:38:08Pushy as fuck.
00:38:10Didn't take shit from anyone.
00:38:11You still can.
00:38:14If you help me.
00:38:18Fuck you.
00:38:19You knew about my mom the whole time.
00:38:21You drew it out of me just to soften me up.
00:38:23Did it work?
00:38:24No.
00:38:24This is my fucking problem with you.
00:38:26I know you've been working some big plan all year.
00:38:28How am I supposed to trust you if I'm just a pawn in your fucked up chess game?
00:38:32All right.
00:38:34If I tell you?
00:38:35Will you help me?
00:38:37I would heavily consider it.
00:38:39Helping Homelander take control of the country is phase one.
00:38:42It was only ever the beginning.
00:38:44Phase two is the end.
00:38:45The end of what?
00:38:46The world.
00:38:48After this soup-killing virus is released.
00:38:51Wait, you want it released?
00:38:52Oh, you bet I do.
00:38:54After soups you realize humans are behind it.
00:38:57All hell will break loose.
00:38:59Soups butchering humans.
00:39:01Virus butchering soups.
00:39:02Oh, fucking world wars.
00:39:04I don't believe you.
00:39:05Swear on my grandma's soul.
00:39:07Why would you possibly want that?
00:39:09Cause I'll be watching.
00:39:10For my cozy bunker outside Colorado Springs.
00:39:13And when it's all over, I can read all day every day.
00:39:18No one bothering me.
00:39:21Nothing.
00:39:22But peace and quiet forever.
00:39:25Which is why Homelander can't survive.
00:39:28That needy asshole would never give me a moment's rest.
00:39:32It defeats the whole purpose.
00:39:34Don't worry.
00:39:35You're invited to my bunker.
00:39:37You too, Ashley.
00:39:42Fuck.
00:39:46Would you like some knee pads?
00:39:47Sorry.
00:39:48What?
00:39:48You're looking at me like you want to suck my hog.
00:39:53So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
00:39:56Go easy on the little guy.
00:39:58He brought me Stan Edgar.
00:39:59Thank you, sir.
00:40:00You may leave.
00:40:12What crawled up your shithole?
00:40:13No idea what you mean.
00:40:15When you're pissy,
00:40:17you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too.
00:40:20Stan Edgar?
00:40:22Still stonewalling you?
00:40:23I've talked to him three times now.
00:40:25Says he has no idea where the V1 is.
00:40:26Heart rate, steady as a rock.
00:40:29I'm starting to believe him.
00:40:30That slippery fuck.
00:40:31Used to fetch my cocaine.
00:40:35You know what?
00:40:37I have an idea.
00:40:40Why don't I take a crack at him?
00:40:44What, you don't trust me?
00:40:45Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material
00:40:49and tried to stop me getting a V1.
00:40:52So I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
00:40:56You could have killed me at Fort Harmony.
00:40:58But you didn't.
00:41:00Maybe I feel like I owe you.
00:41:01Or maybe you're lying.
00:41:02Maybe.
00:41:08Give me an hour.
00:41:10I'll meet you at Edgar Cell.
00:41:21My, my.
00:41:23Now the mighty have fucked themselves square in the ass.
00:41:27Don't shit where you eat, Stan.
00:41:29So you've called in reinforcements?
00:41:31I wanted to see the prick that sold me out to the Reds.
00:41:33It wasn't personal.
00:41:34It was a business decision.
00:41:35We had your replacement model on the way.
00:41:38Even as a toddler.
00:41:40Homelander showed more promise than you ever did.
00:41:43Not that it amounted to much.
00:41:45When have you ever done anything remotely interesting or original?
00:41:52My power is absolute, Stan.
00:41:56That heights no one's even dreamed of.
00:41:59I call that pretty fucking original.
00:42:01Nothing that the lowest speck of this pointless species couldn't have thought of
00:42:05were they to be granted your level of power.
00:42:08Why am I still alive?
00:42:12Because you're useful, Stan.
00:42:15And I always wanted a pet.
00:42:17Perhaps.
00:42:18Or is it because you are so desperate for daddy figures
00:42:21that you can't even bring yourself to kill the ones who hate you?
00:42:25At least that's something he and I have in common.
00:42:29Do you want to die, Stan?
00:42:36Jesus.
00:42:37You'd get pregnant with all the eye-fucking...
00:42:41Tempe, Arizona.
00:42:42Is that supposed to mean something?
00:42:44Well, I had the eggheads and crime analytics track down your granddaughter, Zoe.
00:42:49And her dad.
00:42:51They're in Tempe, Arizona.
00:42:54So, where is the V1?
00:43:01As I told you, I genuinely don't know.
00:43:11But, I may know someone who does.
00:43:14You should go and see Mr. Maradon in L.A.
00:43:17He's always had an intense interest in Vaught's history.
00:43:22It should be a delightful reunion.
00:43:28Hooray for Hollywood.
00:43:30That's screwy, ballyhooey Hollywood.
00:43:33Go out and try your luck.
00:43:35You might be Donald Duck.
00:43:37Hooray for Hollywood.
00:43:39Homelander, it's really good to see you.
00:43:42Why?
00:43:42What brings you by?
00:43:44Relax.
00:43:44We're just here to talk.
00:43:46Yeah, great.
00:43:46Awesome.
00:43:47Soldier Boy.
00:43:47Wow.
00:43:48Big fan, sir.
00:43:49I actually popped my cherry in your underoos.
00:43:52Nice.
00:43:53So, you were part of the seven?
00:43:54I was.
00:43:55I was.
00:43:55You know, until this one replaced me with A-Train.
00:43:58Check it out.
00:43:58Come on.
00:44:00Well, you're only the world's fastest man as long as you're the world's fastest man, champ.
00:44:04And you got slow.
00:44:04It was one race.
00:44:06You never gave me the chance to win it back, boss.
00:44:12Hey, check this one out.
00:44:14Gross 35 mil.
00:44:15On a $200 million budget.
00:44:16These aren't even VOD films.
00:44:18What's the difference?
00:44:19These were made where washed up soups go to die.
00:44:22Sony Pictures, TV.
00:44:24It's a legit studio.
00:44:25And I save half on their TVs.
00:44:27And maybe we're not part of the official VCU.
00:44:29And maybe we can't mention VOD or, you know, any licensed VOD hero.
00:44:33But, hey.
00:44:35Still making magic.
00:44:36That and I, uh, wrestling a little bit.
00:44:38On the side.
00:44:38Blow pills.
00:44:39Whatever you need.
00:44:40Fastest dealer in town.
00:44:42All right, come on.
00:44:42The gang will be psyched to beat you.
00:44:49Did you guys hear the rounded of Aziz, Macaulay, Joaquin, Kiefer, Meryl?
00:44:53I also heard they got Benedict.
00:44:55Wong or Cumberbatch?
00:44:56Oh, fuck.
00:44:57I know, dude.
00:44:57What the fuck, Malchemical?
00:44:58Get your boys in check, huh?
00:45:00Just because I'm a soup doesn't mean I truck in that fascist shit.
00:45:02We need to do something.
00:45:03Counterpoint.
00:45:04Why?
00:45:05Because we're storytellers, dude.
00:45:06Yeah.
00:45:06Our superpower is we inspire hearts and minds.
00:45:09Look at the characters we create.
00:45:10Luke Skywalker, Katniss, Condi.
00:45:12Oh, bitch, please.
00:45:14Come on.
00:45:14Like Mark Hamill, J-Law, and Sir Ben Kingsley do anything but collect their fucking residuals.
00:45:19They're very engaged.
00:45:20Look, here's what we do.
00:45:21We all post about this simultaneously on Instagram.
00:45:25Yes.
00:45:25Black squares on the main feed.
00:45:27Black Lives Matter did black squares.
00:45:29Fuck.
00:45:29Right?
00:45:30We do blue squares on the grid.
00:45:31Because blue lives matter.
00:45:32I wouldn't post that.
00:45:34Is there any color that hasn't been taken by some fucking group?
00:45:37What about white?
00:45:38Brown.
00:45:39Oh, ooh, ooh.
00:45:39I'll get Lena Dunham to write an editorial for The Atlantic.
00:45:42Oh, yeah.
00:45:44She's a great writer.
00:45:45She's a great writer.
00:45:45She's very persuasive.
00:45:47Whatever fuck sticks.
00:45:48Look, best day of my life was when they executed Hayter.
00:45:51Right?
00:45:51More offer onlys for the forte.
00:45:54Hey, do we think Michael Ceres is a starlighter?
00:45:55Because we're up at the same part right now, and it'd be pretty good if he got finished.
00:45:58You've been friends with him for 20 years, Chris.
00:46:00Yeah, but I really need this part, man.
00:46:02Oh, no.
00:46:02Oh, no.
00:46:04What's up?
00:46:05Homelander.
00:46:05Soldier Boy.
00:46:06Wow.
00:46:07I'm Will.
00:46:08Remember me?
00:46:08I'm the one who turned in Channing Tatum.
00:46:13Seth Rogen.
00:46:14We actually met once before with Black Noir, the premiere for Silent Vengeance.
00:46:18Three, Vengeance Reloaded.
00:46:21Big fan.
00:46:21I'm actually, uh, testifying in front of Congress for you.
00:46:23You know, outing suspected starlighters.
00:46:25Spoiler alert.
00:46:26Post Malone.
00:46:28You need to get the fuck away from me right now.
00:46:30You bet.
00:46:31Yeah.
00:46:32We came here looking for something.
00:46:34What do you know about V1?
00:46:38You come to the right place.
00:46:47Here you go.
00:46:52Oh, yeah.
00:46:52Vought yanked that one from the newsstands after Kent State.
00:46:56Good times.
00:46:58How'd you end up with it?
00:46:59Some old bitch on eBay.
00:47:00I paid 20 bucks.
00:47:01I mean, it'd go for half a million at auction.
00:47:03Easy.
00:47:12Yeah, Dr. Vought was, uh, was a Titan.
00:47:14A visionary.
00:47:16He was a pansy.
00:47:17With a German accent and sweaty palms.
00:47:19He was a complicated guy.
00:47:28Do you?
00:47:29Or do you not have V1?
00:47:33I don't.
00:47:35But Bombside does.
00:47:36He does.
00:47:38That piece of shit's still alive.
00:47:39Yeah.
00:47:40He was my best customer for a long time.
00:47:42What makes you think he has it?
00:47:43One night he was tweaked out of his gourd and he told me he has some and I believe him.
00:47:47Where is he?
00:47:47Me and Bombside are so cool.
00:47:49Why don't we all just hang out for a sec?
00:47:50And I'll call him.
00:47:51He'll fly right over.
00:48:00Let's get this up in Bogota while you were taking a pass.
00:48:02You mean for the soldier boy?
00:48:04Nothing but the best.
00:48:11Seth?
00:48:12Oh, no.
00:48:13I actually hate weed.
00:48:14I just pretend to like it for my brand so I can sell ashtrays to suckers.
00:48:20Yo, Homelander.
00:48:23You wanna hit this?
00:48:24It is my life goal to smoke you out, homie.
00:48:30Don't call me that.
00:48:33Homelander.
00:48:34It's good to see you again.
00:48:39Do I know you?
00:48:40Yeah.
00:48:40We met like six times.
00:48:42Malchemical.
00:48:43Make dead the gases.
00:48:45Did that whole campaign with Gasex.
00:48:50That's embarrassing.
00:48:52Homelander still as weird as he was when I was there.
00:48:55Well, I wasn't there back then, but...
00:48:56Yes.
00:48:58Let's get this one.
00:48:58One time, at Ledoux, Misha Barton wanted to suck him off.
00:49:01Right?
00:49:02He spent two hours talking to her about Niji, then left when she stepped on his cape.
00:49:06Oh, that fucking cape.
00:49:07Like a baby with a blanket.
00:49:09Pretty sure he jerks off into it.
00:49:11Probably why it's so stiff.
00:49:13Say that again.
00:49:17Oh, can't you take a fucking joke?
00:49:21Say it again.
00:49:25It's not as much.
00:49:26If Bombside's not coming, I'm leaving.
00:49:27No, he's on his way.
00:49:28Be here any minute.
00:49:29I swear.
00:49:33Nah, I'm done.
00:49:37By the way.
00:49:38Hey.
00:49:40I heard you all.
00:49:41And I want you all to know that very soon, gentlemen, you are going to pay for your sick
00:49:46posts and your hateful memes.
00:49:49Especially the memes.
00:49:53No, no, no, no.
00:49:54It was Kamail and Seth's idea.
00:49:56What?
00:49:56Fuck you, Cortez.
00:49:57It was fucking his idea, man.
00:49:59If he is just sucking your dick so you can help his shitty fucking career.
00:50:02Take them, okay?
00:50:02Shit, I'll take them out for you right now.
00:50:04Oh, really?
00:50:04Yeah.
00:50:04You wanna take me, bitch?
00:50:05Take some fucking yoke.
00:50:06Shut up, Forte.
00:50:07Okay, Forte.
00:50:07You're making this worse.
00:50:08Stop, everybody!
00:50:09Stop!
00:50:11We really should round up Michael Cera.
00:50:15Home letter.
00:50:16Sorry, quick question.
00:50:17What?
00:50:19Oh, for fuck's sake.
00:50:26Who's memorable now?
00:50:27What the fuck?
00:50:28Easy, easy, easy.
00:50:29Can we fuck off, please?
00:50:31Sure, McGruber, everything is cool.
00:50:32Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you.
00:50:33Honest.
00:50:34But, but, but, but fuck this fucking guy.
00:50:36You know, he fucked my life.
00:50:38If you help us get rid of him, then we all win.
00:50:40And you, you can have the seven.
00:50:42And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
00:50:45I don't need to kill him to get the seven.
00:50:46No, yeah, of course not.
00:50:47But what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church?
00:50:49I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool.
00:50:52All the hookers, the drug dealers.
00:50:53They want to ban porn.
00:50:54I mean, they want to ban fucking abortions.
00:50:57Okay, well banning abortion wouldn't be a big problem for me personally.
00:51:00Exactly, for all of us.
00:51:01So, so if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or, or, or gods or, or asexual
00:51:07weirdos.
00:51:07You know, we can go back to fucking and, and being fucking awesome.
00:51:11Look, we know you've got that fucked up chest blast thing.
00:51:14I mean, I was at hero gas and I saw it.
00:51:16Just finish him, now.
00:51:17Take away his powers so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance.
00:51:27He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
00:51:30Yeah.
00:51:30Yeah.
00:51:32But as much as it pains me to say this,
00:51:34he's my fucking asexual weirdo.
00:51:40No one fucks my son but me.
00:51:43What?
00:51:44That came out wrong.
00:51:46No!
00:51:47Gah!
00:51:50Oh!
00:51:56Oh!
00:51:57Fuck!
00:52:03What the fuck?
00:52:06Danny Trejo needs to stick to acting up top of those fuck my shit up.
00:52:11Soldier boy!
00:52:15911, what's your emergency?
00:52:17Yeah, please send police right now.
00:52:18I don't know the address.
00:52:20Do you know the address?
00:52:21I don't know the address.
00:52:22Oh fuck.
00:52:22Fuck.
00:52:23It's okay.
00:52:23Shut up.
00:52:24Shut up.
00:52:24I'm not gonna kill you.
00:52:26I'm gonna get you out of here but you need to do exactly as I say.
00:52:35Go!
00:52:35Go!
00:52:40Fuck!
00:52:50No!
00:52:51No!
00:52:52No!
00:52:58What you do to me then?
00:53:00Seth!
00:53:02Fuck!
00:53:03Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:53:04Is she the man?
00:53:06Well, uh, I didn't mean to.
00:53:09I don't want to die, man.
00:53:11It's gonna be okay.
00:53:12I'll remember you every time I watch an American pickle.
00:53:16What?
00:53:57Oh, my God.
00:53:58Does bombsite really have it?
00:54:00Fuck you.
00:54:01I'm gonna rip your balls off and stuff them down your throat.
00:54:03That'd be like trying to shove two grapefruits through a garden hose.
00:54:07Does bombsite have the V1s?
00:54:11Oh, God!
00:54:13Yes, yes, okay, yes.
00:54:14That part was true.
00:54:15I swear to fucking God, man.
00:54:16He's got it.
00:54:17Where is he?
00:54:17I don't know.
00:54:18Where the fuck is he?
00:54:19I don't know.
00:54:19I haven't talked to him in like five years.
00:54:20I swear, man.
00:54:21I swear to God.
00:54:22Please.
00:54:22Please.
00:54:34What happened?
00:54:36I took care of it.
00:54:40Why?
00:54:42Because fuck them.
00:54:45That's why.
00:54:47I don't think this micro prick was lying.
00:54:50Bombsite has to be one.
00:54:51You just gotta find him.
00:54:54Also, um...
00:54:57I've been fucking firecracker.
00:55:01But...
00:55:02Out of respect for you, that's, uh...
00:55:05That's done.
00:55:07Plus, her pillow talk was.
00:55:10Gonna be a real drag.
00:55:13Pillow talk?
00:55:18I don't know.
00:55:22I don't know.
00:55:43How was L.A.?
00:55:50Did you catch Annette's truth bomb?
00:55:53I did, indeed.
00:55:54And it was a real barn burner.
00:55:56Well done.
00:55:57Thank you, sir.
00:55:58That means the world.
00:56:01How's sex with my father?
00:56:05Is he good at it?
00:56:07Are you thinking about me?
00:56:10When you're making love to him?
00:56:13I never meant to cross a line or offend you.
00:56:17No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:56:18Don't fret, little one.
00:56:19I don't care about the sex.
00:56:21Really.
00:56:23But I do care about your little chats after sex.
00:56:26Sir, whatever soldier boy told you, I can assure you that I...
00:56:29You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh...
00:56:36Jesus.
00:56:38Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
00:56:41No, you are my one and only Savior.
00:56:44You say that, you say that, but, you know, Jacob's heart is wearing like a hummingbird.
00:56:52You're supposed to worship me.
00:56:55Love me.
00:56:57And me alone.
00:56:59I do.
00:56:59I believed in you.
00:57:02Turns out...
00:57:04You don't believe in me.
00:57:08I need you to collect your things.
00:57:11And leave.
00:57:14But I do believe in you.
00:57:16I love you.
00:57:18I am the only one here who ever has.
00:57:21I gave you everything.
00:57:24I gave you my soul.
00:57:25Everybody else here, they're just...
00:57:27They're just scared of you.
00:57:29Or they want something from you.
00:57:31But I have always loved you for you.
00:57:36Just the strongest.
00:57:39Smartest.
00:57:40Best man on earth.
00:57:43Man.
00:57:44No, no, no, no, no.
00:57:44God, no.
00:57:45The God.
00:57:48Our Lord.
00:57:49That look you used to get when you'd suck on me.
00:57:53I felt like Mother Mary herself.
00:57:56I felt blessed.
00:57:58To nourish someone as important as you.
00:58:06But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it?
00:58:09You cast me out to the cold.
00:58:12Which was so much worse than ever feeling your warmth in the first place.
00:58:17So all I have been trying to do is to get you to see me the way that you used
00:58:21to.
00:58:23Hell, the only reason I was with Soulja Boy was because your reflected light is better than no light at
00:58:31all.
00:58:32Please.
00:58:35I love you.
00:58:37We all need love, don't we?
00:58:41Even God.
00:58:45I love you.
00:58:47I love you.
00:59:02I love you.
00:59:23Hooray for Hollywood
00:59:25That screwy ballyhooey Hollywood
00:59:28Where any office for your young mechanic
00:59:31Can be a panic
00:59:33With just a good-looking pant
00:59:35And any barmaid can be a star maid
00:59:39If she dances with or without a fan
00:59:42Hooray for Hollywood
00:59:43Where you're terrific if you're even good
00:59:47Where anyone at all from Shirley Temple
00:59:50To Amy Semple is equally understood
00:59:53Go out and try your luck
00:59:56You might be Donald Duck
00:59:57Hooray for Hollywood
01:00:15Mario
01:00:15Strawberry
01:00:15I'm out
01:00:16Using Wolf
01:00:16Hit I'm going to pop
01:00:24Check the top
01:00:24My opinion
01:00:24made speech
01:00:24And I'm going to show you
01:00:25I'm going to be the best
01:00:32Now you take away
01:00:35Hooray for Hollywood
01:00:37That phony super coney Hollywood
01:00:40They come from chillicotties and padukas
01:00:44With their bazookas to get their names up in lights
01:00:47All armed with photos from local rotos
01:00:51With their hair and ribbon and legs and tights
01:00:54Hooray for Hollywood
01:00:55You may be homely in your neighborhood
01:00:58But if you think that you can be an actor
01:01:02See Mr. Factor
01:01:03He'll make a monkey look good
01:01:05Within a half an hour
01:01:07He'll look like Tyrone Fowler
01:01:09Hooray for Hollywood
01:01:17Hooray for Hollywood
01:01:32Hooray for Hollywood
01:01:34Hooray for Hollywood
01:01:36Hooray for Hollywood
01:01:37Hooray for Hollywood
01:01:45Hooray for Hollywood
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