- 1 hour ago
The Valley Season 3 Episode 6
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00You kiss her all tonight, I will kiss somebody else another night, I swear to God.
00:04I can't go, oh my God.
00:05I kind of dig somebody and it's like when I dig somebody, everyone else just kind of disappears.
00:09I'm nervous I haven't been making enough milk.
00:12She wouldn't nurse.
00:13She's crying, I'm crying, we're both crying.
00:15I'm sorry.
00:16I think I'm just like on the verge of burnout.
00:20I'm afraid I'm going to lose you guys over this s***.
00:23Can y'all just s*** talk to each other?
00:25Every single conversation I have shouldn't be about Gina and Zach.
00:29You need to just sit down and talk at my pool party.
00:32I want to move forward.
00:34I'm sorry that what I said hurt you.
00:36That came from me being like, you know what, I always have to be right, which is something I'm personally
00:40grappling with.
00:42This is what I wanted to hear from you and I love this.
00:55This is all right, all right.
01:02I'm going to start walking tonight.
01:08Feel it.
01:09That is so good, so.
01:12Bye, girl.
01:14Bye, girl.
01:16I think you need to burn some energy.
01:21You want to practice a push-up?
01:22I'm going to be back.
01:23I'm going to be back.
01:25I don't think you can do it.
01:41Since when are you behind the bar, sir?
01:43Zach!
01:44Do we have a table?
01:45We're going to sit in back.
01:46Is that cool?
01:47Sounds good.
01:49Hey.
01:50We got a Cape Cod?
01:52Hey.
01:52I don't even know what that is.
01:53Oh, that's cute.
01:54I liked it.
01:55What's up, man?
01:55How are you?
01:55How's it going?
01:56Good.
01:56Hey, can you make two Bloody Marys?
01:58Yeah, man.
01:58Thank you, bro.
01:59Did you leave Brittany's house before us or after us?
02:02What?
02:03I left slightly before you all.
02:04Okay.
02:06I made you guys the Bloody Marys.
02:07Is that okay?
02:08Oh, yeah.
02:09Sorry about that.
02:10I didn't sabotage you.
02:10Oh, I was like, these don't make Bloody Marys.
02:11No, I'm not.
02:13Although I make a wicked Bloody Mary, but he makes, he has like a signature one I thought you guys
02:16would dig.
02:16Like, I invited my friends, Kiana and Rachel.
02:19They're amazing.
02:20So I met this devastatingly beautiful woman.
02:23One of the last nights, Schwartz and Sandy's was open, but it was always just like platonic.
02:28Until like the past couple months, she started spending more time in LA and we went on a date
02:34and then ever since then, it just kind of went like exponential.
02:39She's a model and she lives in New York, but she also has a place here.
02:42She's a baller.
02:42I haven't introduced Kiana to my friends yet because part of me doesn't want to jinx it.
02:49Tom, how old's your lady friend?
02:51She's 27.
02:52Okay.
02:53Yeah.
02:53How did you guys meet?
02:55We bumped into each other at a bar.
02:56You approached her?
02:57No.
02:58She approached you?
02:59Yeah.
02:59So why are you so insecure?
03:00I mean, I don't know.
03:02I'm just this way I am.
03:03She's not your girlfriend.
03:03She's just talking kind of.
03:06She's one of my favorite humans ever.
03:08Crushed.
03:11Hey.
03:12Party's here.
03:12She's here.
03:14Hello.
03:14Want some food?
03:15Do you want to drink?
03:16I can't drink.
03:16I have to be sober.
03:18Yeah, she has to be sober from now until her surgery.
03:20I'm getting these titties out and putting it back in.
03:24Why do you know you're doing that?
03:25Yeah, I'm getting a full mommy makeover.
03:27Are you happy with the size or you want to go smaller?
03:29No, I want to go smaller.
03:30What else bothers you?
03:32My stomach.
03:33Okay.
03:33Lipo here.
03:34Lipo your back and flanks.
03:36And the tummy tuck I will definitely do.
03:38We can get you in and out and do this really quick.
03:40This is amazing.
03:42I know.
03:42Look at my best friend and me.
03:44But Janet, I can easily have a surface level meal with her.
03:47But I don't want her thinking that one apology fixes everything.
03:52Words mean nothing.
03:54I need to see action.
03:55I know the word breakthrough is strong.
03:56What?
03:57Your guys' conversation sounded healthy.
03:58Healthy.
03:58Yeah, we had the best conversation.
04:00We're best friends now.
04:01Zach is like a fun person that can normally like take a fun joke and like play tennis with
04:05it.
04:06So I'm thinking I can joke around with Zach and be like, all right, we're best friends
04:09now.
04:09You know, like my bestie.
04:11We had one conversation where we didn't try to kill each other for once.
04:15That does not make us BFFs.
04:16I'm her BFF apparently.
04:20She's not mine.
04:21And in San Diego, that means everything might be a little bit better too.
04:23Yes.
04:24Okay, thank you.
04:24Also, I am super excited about taking the train down again.
04:27Are we taking a train?
04:28There's a train from here to San Diego.
04:30No, it's the best train.
04:31The view is just crazy cool.
04:39We're here.
04:40You didn't even think you were real.
04:42I'm real.
04:43Hi, everyone.
04:44Hi.
04:44I'm Kiana.
04:45I'm Brittany.
04:45Nice to meet you.
04:46Janet, nice to meet you.
04:47Hi, Jason.
04:48Nice to meet you.
04:48Nice to meet you too.
04:50Look what I got to you.
04:51Oh, is that a lemon drop?
04:52It's a massive.
04:53Here, I'll move down.
04:54That's exactly what you have to sit here.
04:55Wait.
04:56Can I sit at the head of the table?
04:57Yeah.
04:58All right.
04:58Let me sit at the head of the table.
05:00Love it.
05:01Well, don't mind if I do.
05:03So, wait.
05:03Did you just get in town?
05:04I'm back and forth almost once a week.
05:06Yeah.
05:07I leave on Tuesday.
05:07Oh, nice.
05:08She's mostly from New York.
05:09You do every other week from New York here?
05:10Almost, yeah.
05:11Wow.
05:11I bet you have airline miles out there.
05:12I do.
05:12I got a high status.
05:13Okay.
05:14Nice.
05:14That's nice.
05:15I do.
05:16I travel a lot.
05:17And then I go to London on Monday, guys.
05:18What?
05:19I'm gone.
05:25I wish I could be as cool as Kiana.
05:27I mean, I don't know if I look as good in glasses, though.
05:30Like, do I have it?
05:32Do I have it down?
05:33Who wore it better, me or Kiana?
05:39I wish I was as skinny as her, but whatever.
05:42How many days have you guys been on?
05:44All right.
05:45All right.
05:45All right.
05:46Relax.
05:48Are you a journalist?
05:48I've known Tom for years, and just seeing him, like, all giddy,
05:51it's just making me laugh.
05:56How about you go get them drinks at the bar with Kiana?
05:59Take care of Rachel.
06:00I got Rachel.
06:01We will.
06:02You already know Kiana.
06:04I got you.
06:05I like how you say my name.
06:06I'm sorry.
06:07I'm sorry.
06:07Why?
06:08This is, like, LMFAO.
06:10The only complaint we get here...
06:12Wait, this is very low.
06:13You're supposed to be higher than me.
06:14That's the only complaint we get.
06:16Oh, actually...
06:16People love the food.
06:17They love the drinks.
06:17They love the vibe.
06:18They're like, why are the seats so low?
06:19Get a booster seat.
06:21I'm kidding.
06:22I'm kidding.
06:23Get a phone book.
06:23You don't even know what that is.
06:24Listen.
06:25I know.
06:26I know.
06:26Let's not go there.
06:27Let's not go there.
06:28Let's not go there.
06:28Let's not go there.
06:30Cheers.
06:31Cheers.
06:31Eye contact.
06:33Thanks for coming.
06:34You're welcome.
06:35They're all conspiring me to set me up on dates and everything.
06:37I was just like, well, I have a crush.
06:40But I was like, yeah.
06:41Who's your crush?
06:42What's she look like?
06:43She's tall, funny, ridiculously good looking.
06:47Oh, it sounds like me.
06:49She's got a rapished wit.
06:50Well, thank you.
06:51So we talked to no girl seriously?
06:53Uh, no.
06:54I haven't had this feeling in quite some time.
06:57And I don't know.
06:58There's part of me that's like extra precious about this one.
07:01Seems like we have a crush on each other.
07:02I think we do.
07:03As you get older, I'm like, I don't want to f*** it up.
07:05I don't know how many more chances I have at love.
07:08I'm strict.
07:08Yeah, you're so strict.
07:09I love that.
07:10Alpha.
07:11I'm strict.
07:12That leash is short.
07:13No.
07:14I like a short leash.
07:15You like a short leash?
07:16All right.
07:17Say less.
07:18Go get a short leash.
07:25Good old Hollywood.
07:27That's not a person.
07:28Hi.
07:29Good morning.
07:30I was like, hi.
07:31Welcome to Hollywood.
07:32Not you, not you, not you.
07:36Okay, let me peek around.
07:41Hi.
07:42Hi.
07:42Good morning.
07:43Good morning.
07:45Hello.
07:45Hi.
07:46Oh, my God.
07:47How are you?
07:47Good.
07:48Look at those.
07:50Perfect.
07:51You know I love wigs.
07:52I know.
07:52I wear one every day.
07:54Let's go pick an outfit for Dadda.
07:57Let us know if you're looking for something specific.
07:59We'll find it for you right away.
08:00Is she sleeping?
08:01No.
08:02Just protecting.
08:02I just don't want her to see anything.
08:06This place is wild.
08:08So we're here for a special reason.
08:10I thought of this fun plan in San Diego to kind of pull from like my pageant days.
08:16We're all going to dress up a boy and we're going to do like kind of like a pageant thing.
08:20Wigs and heels and have a contest to like see who wins.
08:25Okay, let's look.
08:27We just need accessories for them to have fun with.
08:29Okay.
08:29I could buy the whole outfit for him.
08:31And he has a little corset with it.
08:33That would be hot.
08:34And for Luke for like...
08:35Yes, that'd be so fun.
08:36I think that's lovely.
08:38I think that's a win.
08:39Oh, my gosh.
08:39I'm trying to make a look in this.
08:41It's really pretty.
08:43It's perfect.
08:43You work very well.
08:44I've worn a crown once or twice in my life.
08:46Everybody smile.
08:46Hi, buddy.
08:47My boobs are massive.
08:48Okay, one, two, three.
08:50And get the baby.
08:51They are going to thrive.
08:53Not only are they competitive, but they're pretty.
08:57They're pretty.
08:58I don't know if I'm going yet.
08:59Why?
09:00What?
09:01I don't like love spending time with people that I don't want to be around.
09:06Huh.
09:06Understandable.
09:07Same girl, same.
09:09Is it Michelle that you don't want to be around or?
09:11No, I find Michelle fine.
09:13Any issue I've had with Michelle in the past really derived, in my opinion, from Janet.
09:19Jessie told Michelle and Janet how badly it hurt my feelings.
09:22And Janet never attempted to apologize.
09:25So I don't want to.
09:26What hurt your feelings badly?
09:28That she was like reaching out to people I know, trying to like find things out.
09:32It's weird to me when somebody has screenshots of my HOA fees and Reddit threads about me and her phone.
09:38I feel like she's looking for the smoking gun, but my life is pretty transparent.
09:42It's just more weird.
09:43Like you should be spending your time in a more efficient way.
09:47And it's more like that mean girl mentality of like she just wanted to gang up on me.
09:52Lacey and I do have a lot in common.
09:54Janet, I don't want to be around Janet.
09:57Ever.
09:58For the rest of my life.
10:00Maybe I'll go.
10:02I mean, I just.
10:02I would love for you to go and hang out with me.
10:05Yeah.
10:06Hang with us.
10:09Coming up.
10:11Don't say one thing and do another.
10:13I'm not.
10:13Your conversation with me yesterday was polar opposite of this.
10:17I told you there's consequences for all your choices and replications for your action.
10:20Say what you mean, mean what you say.
10:22That's all.
10:32Is this too much for San Diego?
10:34I think it's a little sexy.
10:35What do you think?
10:37Yeah.
10:37Okay, you're right.
10:42Should we start packing?
10:43I'm so glad we found safari outfits for the trip.
10:47It's going to be so cute.
10:52I really hope I can get her on a bottle before we leave.
10:55She's laughing because she thinks that's funny.
10:57She's saying, no, no, no, no, no.
11:00Safari park.
11:01I'm so excited.
11:02You like ripped jeans, right?
11:04Ripped jeans are still.
11:05No ripped jeans for you.
11:06One pair.
11:07Are you going to buy new jeans for this trip?
11:11I got no ripped jeans.
11:16Kaya and I can share a suitcase, diaper bag, formula.
11:21She has a lot of stuff.
11:22Babies have lots of stuff.
11:23Yep.
11:24And all the things to keep her entertained.
11:26This is the time to wear my cargos, isn't it?
11:28You can absolutely wear your cargos.
11:29I can wear my cargos.
11:30Yes.
11:30No more.
11:30You can.
11:31I'm bringing a ton of t-shirts, two one-piece bathing suits, 57 adult diapers.
11:37I'm sorry.
11:38And a cartridge in a pear tree.
11:41I'm really glad that we did not go to the TomTom brunch.
11:44Did you hear any of my conversation with Zach yesterday?
11:46A little bit, but not.
11:47I was in and out.
11:48Okay.
11:48I said, like, so how are you and Janet?
11:51And he was like, oh, she's totally delusional.
11:53Like, she thinks we're, like, best friends now.
11:55Yesterday, Zach calls me and is like, I am not friends with Janet.
12:02He's like, I don't trust her.
12:03She's crazy.
12:04And it's like, well, Zach, if you're giving her an inch, she's going to take a mile.
12:07Like, what version are you giving her?
12:10But he's being very flip-floppy right now.
12:12She also told Zach that she thinks she and I are good.
12:14And I was like, what world are you living in?
12:16Yeah, you said she said something about a piece pipe.
12:18And you guys, there was no conversation, though, about anything.
12:21She's like, well, Kristen and I both wanted to smoke weed.
12:22I'm like, wow, we had something in common for five minutes.
12:26Like, there's no piece pipe, bitch.
12:35I cannot believe you have two suitcases.
12:38Oh, my gosh, I've never been here before.
12:40This is cool.
12:45San Diego!
12:49Hi, guys.
12:50Hey!
12:52Hi!
12:53You guys hype?
12:54Yeah, I'm really excited to see you.
12:55Hi!
12:57Good to see you.
12:58Hey.
12:58Hola.
12:59Hey, hey, high five.
13:00That's where I hugged your hands.
13:02Michelle's going home.
13:04You're excited.
13:04Yes.
13:05Yes.
13:05It feels kind of strange, but exciting to go back to, like, where I grew up.
13:10I have a lot of great memories with my family living in San Diego.
13:14So it's super cool that we all get to go where I come from and, like, get to see a
13:18little piece of me and why I am the way I am.
13:22Who's never been on a train?
13:23I would have been in one in Canada, but never this one.
13:26Is that her night nurse?
13:27Hi.
13:28It's actually Chris's friend, but she's really good with her.
13:33You should have one drink on the train.
13:35Wait, can you drink on this drink?
13:36I know you can eat.
13:37Yeah.
13:37You can do anything you want.
13:38Airport rules.
13:39Hey, we're on vacation, right?
13:42How's it going?
13:43Stress.
13:44It's just hard, like, with all her stuff and, like, making sure she's happy and she should have been down
13:48for a nap, like, 45 minutes ago.
13:49She can't nap in the stroller?
13:51She hates that stroller.
13:52Everyone knows I'm anxious when I travel.
13:55I'm kind of a hot mess express.
13:56What's going on?
13:57Kristen's like, I just want to be at home.
13:59This is why I don't travel.
14:00Don't travel with Kristen.
14:01I'm over it.
14:02I'm over it.
14:03I'm over it.
14:03I'm over it.
14:04For this trip, I have a baby.
14:07Lacey said she's coming, right?
14:08She will be driving.
14:10It doesn't make sense for her to go from Newport to Burbank.
14:14Correct.
14:14To train.
14:18Finally.
14:21Cute.
14:29Cheers.
14:30Woo.
14:31This is so fun.
14:35Good morning, folks.
14:37This is train 770 Southbound Pacific Surfliner, service to San Diego.
14:42Welcome aboard.
14:44Jesse, it's already hot.
14:45Don't fall asleep yet.
14:47Nobody's falling asleep yet.
14:48Let him fall asleep so he doesn't talk.
14:51We got to go.
14:52This is what I'm living for all vacation.
14:59If you could just, so yeah, give me a, oh.
15:02Oh, man, you need it.
15:03Oh.
15:03Oh.
15:05Oh.
15:06Trying to bounce it in me.
15:08Yeah, you need some work there.
15:10Trips have definitely changed before children.
15:13When he and I would go on trips, there's not much responsibility.
15:16We have the freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want.
15:20And that's just not the case when you have kids.
15:25Hold her for a little bit while I eat.
15:27And then I'll take her back.
15:28I'm going to go down and get a coffee.
15:28Do you want to put her in the carrier?
15:29I'm going to go down and get a coffee or something then.
15:32I think this weekend we should bunk up together.
15:36What about a Jack and Jill bathroom situation?
15:38Oh, because then we're at least in separate rooms.
15:41But like we can come see each other in the morning.
15:43The first thing I wake up to every morning cannot be your face.
15:49How good night would he use this?
15:50He wants a big birthday party.
15:52It's the same week as Jason, Danny, and Schwartz.
15:55So we should use that and a three on eyes next.
15:58I think you pitched that to him.
15:59Yeah, and then he could be Jesus in this situation too.
16:03Great.
16:03I love it even more.
16:04Jesus.
16:05Do you see what she's doing?
16:06Yeah, I'm handing her right back.
16:08See, I keep telling her, I'm like, baby steps.
16:11These are called baby steps and you're taking like, you're like Olympic jumping.
16:16I didn't know that many people on this train are dying for attention.
16:19Do you guys want babies?
16:21Mm-hmm.
16:22It's a non-negotiable for him.
16:24Good for you.
16:25Yeah.
16:26Well, he can take care of both me and a child.
16:27It's like two kids.
16:28It's fine.
16:29Just let me know when you need a uterus.
16:32Stop offering your uterus out.
16:34I'm sure if Zach's not ready for me to be planning his birthday, he's probably also not ready for me
16:38to carry his child.
16:39But the girl can dream.
16:41Are you guys friends?
16:42Best, best friends.
16:45I can feel Kristen's death stare like the eye of Siren on the side, just staring directly at me into
16:53my soul.
16:54What is happening?
16:56He won't look at me.
16:58He'll only make iPhone.
16:59He'll just see because he knows.
17:01It's just such a different tune from the phone call I got.
17:04It's just a different tune from the last year.
17:06It's like 24 hours ago.
17:08He was telling me, you're a bitch.
17:09She's a bitch.
17:12I actually like you.
17:15I cannot talk about you.
17:18I can't.
17:19I'm going back to work.
17:20I love you.
17:22Don't say one thing and do another.
17:25Your conversation with me yesterday was polar opposite of this.
17:28You're making choices on your own.
17:32You are.
17:33I told you there's consequences for all your choices and repercussions for your action.
17:37It's entertaining, right?
17:39Say what you mean, mean what you say.
17:40That's all.
17:42Coming up.
17:44We're never together without our children.
17:46No.
17:46It's so fun.
17:47Okay.
17:48I'm focused on being with you in the roller coaster and nothing else, and I feel like
17:51you're a little critical of you.
17:52I'm not feeling yet.
17:53It's like formative.
18:03Here we go, y'all.
18:04And we made it to Santa Clarita.
18:06We made it here.
18:07Woo-hoo!
18:10Hey, those things.
18:11Now we go upstairs.
18:12Okay.
18:29All right.
18:30I'm going to get out with the baby in my arms, and then Daniel, you can grab everything else.
18:34As quick as possible, immediately into the house.
18:36Did you get the gate code?
18:37I got the gate code.
18:38Wait, we've got to get the groceries.
18:39Screaming baby in here.
18:40Where's the front door?
18:41Is this the front door?
18:43Oh!
18:45Okay.
18:45This one?
18:46Oh my goodness.
18:49Where are the rooms?
18:50Where are the rooms?
18:50Where are the rooms?
18:51Oh, that's my room.
18:52Oh, you.
18:55Woo.
18:57Where are all the rooms at?
18:59I got my room.
19:00Cute!
19:01You're not in there by yourself.
19:02No.
19:03Hold on.
19:05Jesse, is this the main house?
19:07I guess.
19:07I just walked in.
19:09Are you kidding me?
19:10I'm not by myself.
19:11Lacey's coming.
19:12Oh, no.
19:13Okay, I love a bathtub.
19:15No, no, no.
19:15This is Michelle's trip.
19:16We're taking this room.
19:17You're not taking this room.
19:18I gave up the big room.
19:19Well, good luck.
19:20It's Michelle's trip.
19:21We're taking this room.
19:22It's our trip.
19:23It's Michelle's trip.
19:24I need a bedroom that I'm accustomed to.
19:27Okay, well, I need a bedroom I'm accustomed to, so.
19:31Yeah, Michelle, this is great for us.
19:33You're not taking this room, or you'll be sleeping next to Lacey and I.
19:36I can't wait.
19:37It'll be so fun.
19:38It will be fun.
19:39Wait, I love this.
19:40I do, too.
19:41I'm going to get my stuff.
19:42Okay, let's get our stuff.
19:43I'm not leaving this room, so you guys can do whatever you want.
19:46Well, Michelle and I can't wait to be in here with you guys.
19:48Okay, well, that's great.
19:52And that's our pickleball court.
19:53This is a rip.
19:54This is actually, this is really sick.
19:56This is awesome.
19:57I'm the greatest of all time, bro.
20:03Isn't this great?
20:04You guys, this is perfect.
20:06So this is the sleeping arrangement for San Diego.
20:08We're not all in one house, which is actually really good.
20:11We got Kristen, Luke, Danny, and Nia in the baby house.
20:16Say hi.
20:18I'm tired, but I can't wait to snuggle and play with you soon.
20:21Jasmine and Melissa have, like, their little honeymoon suite in the back.
20:25Oh, sweet.
20:27Okay.
20:28We'll take this.
20:29Bye.
20:30We also have the llamas outside.
20:32Dude, you see the llama?
20:33Dude, that's a llama?
20:34Yeah.
20:35And then look at the little mini donkey and the goats.
20:37Oh, God.
20:38And then we have the main house.
20:39So in the main house, we have Janet, Jason, Jessie, Lacey, Benji, Zach, me, and Lala.
20:46Lala, I don't care what you say.
20:47I zoned you out a long time ago, so you're wasting your breath.
20:50For sure.
20:51This place is way bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside.
20:53I know.
20:54It's, like, huge.
20:56Please come all the way in.
20:57Close the door.
20:59Hey.
21:00Can you put Adelaide down for me?
21:01What do you mean, put Adelaide down?
21:03She's tired.
21:04She's ready to sleep.
21:05First of all, I gave up the big room in Maui, so I'm taking the big room on this trip.
21:08Two people got engaged.
21:10You should have.
21:12Michelle didn't act like this with him.
21:14Because he's probably exhausting, so you just give him what he wants.
21:17But I got stamina today, baby.
21:19Oh, is there a bed?
21:20Is there another room?
21:20Yeah, there's two rooms back here, Jessie.
21:22Oh, I didn't even see the side of the house.
21:23No, stop.
21:23Breathe.
21:24Oh, f***.
21:25Oh, can you tell the tequila?
21:27Is there tequila in the...
21:29Yeah, you guys want some?
21:29There's, like, a couple bottles in the freezer here.
21:31Okay.
21:32I'll be ready to party soon.
21:33Let's do a shot before we go, and we're all changed.
21:36Jill.
21:37Nia.
21:38Nia, I need a...
21:40Oh, my gosh.
21:41What?
21:42I need a swaddle.
21:43Where's your suitcases?
21:45I keep getting her down.
21:47I need a swaddle.
21:48Every time I put her down, her eyes are waking up.
21:50Okay.
21:53Come on.
21:54I'm wondering why Nia has put me in this situation when we have a babysitter.
21:59So, some frustration.
22:01Are you eating a sandwich?
22:03I'm sorry.
22:04You're mad at me for eating food.
22:06Not checking in.
22:07When I've tried to put her down three times, and her eyes keep popping up when I put her down.
22:11Thank you, baby.
22:12You're welcome.
22:14I mean, what is the point of bringing the babysitter here if we're not going to let the babysitter sit
22:18the baby?
22:23Where do we become?
22:23Best friends.
22:24You're my best friend.
22:25See?
22:26And you come down here.
22:28They got the alpacas.
22:29Oh, hey, Tom.
22:30You guys come see the animals.
22:31He looks exactly like that alpaca.
22:34We're bonding.
22:36Can you hear that?
22:37Oh, look at his sad eyes.
22:38I think this...
22:39He's got sad eyes like you.
22:41He does have some sadness behind those eyes.
22:45You know what I'm, like, deathly afraid of?
22:47Birds.
22:48Like, since I was a little girl.
22:50What are you afraid of?
22:51Um, I'm afraid of mayonnaise.
22:53Shut up.
22:54And I am.
22:54I have, like, a phobia of it.
22:55It just seems like something that would come out of a pimple or something.
22:58And people put it on their sandwich and spread it around.
23:01Oh, my God.
23:02Oh, my God.
23:03Thanks, babe.
23:04How much do you want?
23:05Perfect.
23:06This is why we ran out of mayonnaise in Big Bear is you.
23:11Oh, gosh.
23:139.30 is, like, best case scenario time we get back here.
23:15So, I think if you're fine staying with her, she'll be happier in bed before then.
23:19100%.
23:20Yeah.
23:21I think that's best case for Kyah.
23:22I hope it's day.
23:24You what?
23:25I'm only bleeding out right now.
23:28After you have a baby and you have your first period, it's possible that you gush and bleed
23:35a lot.
23:35And, unfortunately, that's exactly what's happening to me right now.
23:38So, it's called mommy diapers not feeling like the hottest version of myself right now.
23:44You're like, cool, I have a diaper on.
23:45So does my kid.
23:48Have you gussing Kristen or Nia or any of them?
23:50No, I haven't, actually.
23:52I'm just joking on this bloated elephant.
23:56Terrible cramp.
23:58Hey, sis, just wanted you to know.
23:59I'm leaving Chris in a video.
24:01Hey, sis, just wanted you to know that we are leaving.
24:04Nia says you needed a little bit more time, so we will just meet you there.
24:06Love you.
24:07Take your time.
24:07Feel better.
24:08All right, let's go, guys.
24:10All right, let's go.
24:10Let's go.
24:11Come on, gang.
24:12How many people in your own store?
24:13Do I need to get in yours or another one?
24:19Uh, cars out front.
24:21All right.
24:22Oh, you're looking at my hair and my sunglasses?
24:27All right.
24:29Nia?
24:30We can't put her in until Kristen's ready to walk out the door.
24:32I cannot do that to her.
24:34We can and go and get set up in there.
24:37No, because she will start crying.
24:39It has to be the very last second.
24:40A lot of hair.
24:41Frizzy hair.
24:42I'll brush it.
24:43I feel like there are certain times where Daniel and I aren't really, like, attuned as much
24:49as I'd like us to be.
24:50Put her in.
24:51Do not put her in until Kristen's ready to walk out the door.
24:54And, yeah, I just, I don't know, I feel off with it.
24:57I think our driver's ready.
24:58Okay, stay awake from me.
25:00You and Aunt Kelly better be up when they get back, okay?
25:03Son's a setting.
25:06Do you know how to rodeo a cow?
25:08My gosh, it's called Lasso, dude.
25:12Nia, please.
25:13Oh, here we go.
25:16Buckle up, buttercup.
25:28All right, guys, let's do it.
25:30Oh, yeah.
25:32Look how cute this is.
25:33It's so cute.
25:35Come on, guys.
25:36Let's go.
25:37Isn't this fun, dude?
25:38I'm excited.
25:40For me, Belmont Park is the quintessential park you imagine or remember going to as
25:45a child.
25:48So I'm really excited to share this with everyone else because I don't think anyone else has
25:52been here.
25:54Oh, my God.
25:55Who's going to do the slingshot?
25:56No, what is this?
25:57Not me.
25:58Hell no.
25:59Look at how ratchet that is.
26:01Come on, you're easy.
26:02That looks like the little...
26:03It's a baby ride.
26:05That sounds like it's barely on the track.
26:07Come get on the roller coaster.
26:08Hell no.
26:10Are you gumming?
26:11Come on.
26:11I'm going to be the lone survivor.
26:13Wait, I want to go in the front.
26:14Let's do it, baby.
26:15Oh, sorry.
26:16Let's do it.
26:18Woo-hoo.
26:20Great.
26:21Oh, is it locked?
26:23Whoa, look at that.
26:26No, no, no.
26:27Oh, no.
26:29This is awesome.
26:31Woo.
26:34Okay.
26:35Oh, no.
26:37Oh, my God.
26:38Oh, no.
26:41Oh, my God.
26:45Oh, my God.
26:46Oh, my God.
26:51I'm not terrified of roller coasters.
26:53I am terrified of heights.
26:57I've never been able to overcome it.
26:59I don't know what it is.
26:59And I don't care if you think I'm a little bitch,
27:02because I'm a little bitch.
27:08Oh, my God.
27:11She do it again?
27:12No.
27:12No, no.
27:13One more time.
27:15Oh, oh, oh, oh.
27:18Mia.
27:19Yeah.
27:19Get the diaper bag.
27:21I'll just leave, Daniel.
27:22Oh, good.
27:22Can you take the diaper bag?
27:23Yes, I do.
27:24I got to pee.
27:26I'm so excited.
27:27We need to go on every single ride.
27:31Did you even hear me?
27:33Of course.
27:37I want to find the basketball game so I can win things.
27:42The only game I'm good at.
27:45Oh, there's so much to look at.
27:47Do you know what I mean?
27:48Can I get a tequila soda?
27:49And then a bourbon?
27:50Hey, how does Kristen like her drinks?
27:52A bourbon soda?
27:53I'm excited.
27:54We're never together without our children.
27:56No.
27:56It's so fun.
27:58Okay.
27:59There's Zach who's trying to say hi to us.
28:00I didn't see him.
28:01I'm focused on being with you on the rollercoaster, not being with you on the rollercoaster.
28:03And I feel like you're a little critical of each.
28:05No, I'm feeling it's like performative.
28:08Literally, this is how my natural demeanor is without children.
28:11I'm always with kids.
28:13We're not doing that.
28:14Looking at me like I'm crazy.
28:15What would you like to do?
28:16I want to go on the rollercoaster with you.
28:18Where's the rollercoaster?
28:19There.
28:20Okay.
28:21Where's the entrance though?
28:23I'm with you.
28:23Honey, I don't know where I'm going.
28:25I was just looking for the rollercoaster.
28:25I know, but you were like running to like find, to try to find it.
28:28Of course.
28:28So I'm following you.
28:30I've never been here before.
28:32Thanks babe, I'll get you a drink later.
28:33No, babe, it's okay.
28:34It's a dialogue.
28:35No.
28:36Should we see if they want to join us?
28:39Sure.
28:40Alright.
28:41Looks like they're just eating.
28:43They're not eating.
28:44But we've missed.
28:44They're drinking.
28:45What's up guys?
28:47Oh, hey.
28:47Hey.
28:49We did the rollercoaster.
28:50You're missing us.
28:51Did you?
28:51That's what I wanted to do right now.
28:53My love.
28:54I'm glad.
28:55Um, I just want to reiterate my demeanor when I don't have children, which you never see
29:02me in that space.
29:03I know.
29:03I didn't.
29:04I was very confused.
29:05So it's been quite some time.
29:06It can be frustrating because we have the smallest windows of time when we're kid free.
29:11Like it's few and far between.
29:13And I feel like we're not quite on the same page energy wise and I need that.
29:16So, yeah, it's a little disheartening when I'm just trying to connect with my man.
29:21Yeah.
29:21I just want to let you know that that's where it's coming from because I'm happy to be with
29:25you.
29:25I don't have any kids attached to me for a few minutes.
29:28Yeah.
29:29Okay?
29:30Yes.
29:31Do you remember me before children?
29:33Yes.
29:33Not being extra.
29:35Not being OG me.
29:36Love him.
29:36I can't wait to see OG tonight.
29:39Oh, stop it.
29:40Let me stop it.
29:41We got a nanny.
29:42We got a baby in the room.
29:43No, we don't.
29:44She's sleeping in our room.
29:45No, she ain't.
29:46Oh, it's been a sexy time.
29:47The baby's sleeping right next to her.
29:48Oh, yes, there is.
29:50She's not going to know.
29:52Who?
29:52The baby.
29:53Exactly.
29:56Coming up.
29:57You just got to the point where you loved this guy.
29:59You believed that he would be a good co-parent.
30:02I know.
30:02And you moved in together.
30:03I'm so scared to get to that point and have it not work out again.
30:06Don't be scared you're going to end up like me, okay?
30:18Let's play this game right here.
30:19Are you going to go on the rollercoaster with me?
30:20Yeah.
30:22Yes, I want to go.
30:27We'll be in front of the carousel so we can get on the rollercoaster together.
30:30Yay!
30:31I'm here.
30:32I'm here.
30:32It's so crazy.
30:33Big group hug.
30:34Big group hug.
30:35You're going to have no adjusting.
30:36If you're on the rollercoaster, we'll see you after.
30:38Yay!
30:39Woohoo!
30:40Let's go!
30:41Can you hold this?
30:42It goes with your outfit.
30:45It's just us?
30:47Yeah, girl.
30:47Jessie's afraid of rollercoasters.
30:52We're going in the front.
30:53Is this going to hurt my ovaries?
30:54No.
30:55No.
30:55It's going to hurt them.
30:57Here we go!
30:58We've got 17 back there!
31:01Let's get back!
31:04Come on!
31:04Come on!
31:05Come on!
31:06Come on!
31:06Come on!
31:07Come on!
31:07Come on!
31:07Come on!
31:09Come on!
31:12Where are we going?
31:13Uh, it's over here.
31:15Oh, it's so cute!
31:17Wait, this is romantic!
31:18That's what I'm saying!
31:20Shorts and the ladies!
31:22Should we just camp here for a sec?
31:23Watch the sunset for a little bit?
31:24Bye-bye.
31:25Or is that too mellow?
31:26No, I don't think that's too mellow at all.
31:29Oh, okay.
31:29Oh, yeah.
31:29Cheers to you and congrats.
31:31Oh, yeah.
31:31Michelle sold a $7 million house on the way here.
31:34What?
31:34That's amazing.
31:35What great news to get.
31:37I know.
31:38Let's go, Michelle.
31:39Everything's actually going really good.
31:42This is the first time that I'm on my own again since working with Jesse.
31:46We were a team for almost 10 years, but a lot of people wouldn't work with us because
31:51they didn't like him, but they liked me.
31:53And so now I don't have that problem and I'm selling real estate without Jesse having
31:57to drive me down.
31:59So, Schwarfy.
32:00Hi.
32:01Are you feeling peaceful too?
32:02I feel probably the most peaceful I've felt in years.
32:06Wait, really?
32:06In years?
32:07Yeah.
32:08Because of?
32:10Hanging out with someone I really enjoy spending time with again is really nice.
32:14Literally yesterday, we were hanging out and she's like, are you going to still be
32:19hanging out with other people?
32:19I was like, I'm not planning on doing that.
32:22Or maybe either.
32:23That's revision.
32:24That's not what I wanted to do.
32:25Okay, it was me, okay?
32:26It was me.
32:26I kind of felt like.
32:28But not in a needy, clinging way because you don't want to be overbearing.
32:31You did it naturally.
32:31Yes.
32:32So how did you say it?
32:33Well, .
32:34I mean, it was cool in the moment.
32:35I don't want to ruin it.
32:36Okay, pretend you're there right now.
32:37What did you say?
32:39You look so fine right now.
32:41How would you say?
32:42No, I was like, listen, I love hanging out with you.
32:46I was like, are you planning on still dating, hooking up with other people?
32:51Yeah.
32:52We both were like coyly, like, I'm not if you're not.
32:54Aw.
32:55And I was like, oh my God, what does this mean?
32:56Are we dating?
32:57Okay.
32:57I swear I'm smoother in person.
32:59Okay.
33:00But it probably seems abrupt, but it's actually been a year and a half since I've dated anyone.
33:04A lot of people said the same thing to me, but I have known this person for almost 20 years.
33:09Michelle is the one that's sticking to being single with me.
33:13What is happening?
33:15Britt has a boyfriend.
33:16And now, Schwartzy's got some hot 27-year-old girlfriend who may or may not be like,
33:21f***ing whoever she wants out in New York.
33:24And her name's Kiana, which is even hotter.
33:27It's just a bunch of hotness.
33:30You're very open to getting married.
33:31Yeah.
33:31You really want to have kids and you don't want to be an old dad.
33:34Yes.
33:35And so when the past now two relationships have been with girls in their mid to late 20s.
33:41Has she given any indicators if she wants to be a mom or like...
33:45Well, she was my friend before we started dating and she's like,
33:48yes, I want to have kids by the time I'm 30.
33:49Oh, wow.
33:50I believe in love.
33:52I really do.
33:53I'm a romantic.
33:54We know you do.
33:54But I'm like, every relationship I've been in so far started similar, didn't work out.
33:59I've been surrounded by so much divorce.
34:00I'm just like, is every relationship just going to be like three years, four years, five years and out?
34:04I don't know.
34:05Probably.
34:05No, f***.
34:06No, don't say that.
34:08I'm scared to get to...
34:09I mean, I even think that too.
34:10Michelle, I was just going to ask you.
34:12Aren't you scared?
34:13You just happened to you.
34:14You just got to the point where you love this guy.
34:16You believed that he would be a good co-parent.
34:18I know.
34:18And you moved in together.
34:20Is that weird that I would live here with Isabella?
34:23Not if there's an intention to live and one day get married.
34:28That's true.
34:30I'm so scared to get to that point and have it not work out again.
34:32But I know you can't live your life in fear.
34:35You're good, Schwartz.
34:36Everybody loves you.
34:36I thought you guys were about to confront me about age.
34:38No.
34:39Same time.
34:39She's a woman.
34:40You're so young.
34:40No, we just want to see you happy and doing all the things you want in life.
34:43Because you deserve all the world.
34:44Yeah.
34:45And don't be scared you're going to end up like me, okay?
34:52I don't want to be like you guys.
34:54You're not going to be us.
34:55Yeah, and I'm a bad bitch.
34:56I'm taking care of my house, my son, my everything by myself.
34:59I'm good.
35:00Coming up.
35:01It's like really hard for me to express how hard it's been.
35:06You're going to go through a mourning process and a healing process that it is not quick.
35:25I'll take an airhead.
35:27One of each.
35:28Green, purple, red.
35:29Oh, it's chilly.
35:31I know.
35:32And now we're going to go down to the water.
35:34This is so gorgeous.
35:37Every time I'm anywhere where I'm like planted in front of the ocean, I'm like, I picked the
35:45right name for my baby.
35:46When I look at the ocean, I think of my mom.
35:49You do?
35:50Yeah.
35:50She used to love to walk on the beach.
35:53That was like her exercise.
35:55We used to just like walk and talk for a long time.
35:59I love that.
36:00Yeah.
36:01How long after she got sick, were you guys able to do things like that?
36:07She got sick like less than two years ago.
36:10And then in a year, everything just kind of changed.
36:14That's very quick.
36:16My heart starts pounding when I think of her.
36:19Really?
36:20Yeah, because I hold a lot in.
36:23And it's like really hard for me to express how hard it's been.
36:28I lost my mom six months ago.
36:31And, you know, sometimes I wake up and I forget that it happened.
36:35So it's still a very surreal situation that happened in me.
36:40Yeah.
36:41I know, time is very strange.
36:43And I miss talking to her every day.
36:49And just the fact that if I needed to go out of town or if I needed help with Isabella,
36:53I could always count on her.
36:55And I don't have any family in LA, so it's a bit hard to do everything on my own.
37:00She was like my ride or die.
37:02Of course.
37:03And I called her about everything.
37:05Yeah.
37:05Like literally everything.
37:06I didn't have anybody else.
37:08Just her.
37:09Like I don't, I know what it's like to lose a dad.
37:15And that was like earth shattering.
37:20I lost my dad almost seven and a half years ago.
37:23And I still remember every single detail about him.
37:28Every wrinkle on his face, the way his hands looked, the way he felt when he would hug me.
37:34Um.
37:39Yeah, I miss him a lot.
37:42I know it's so hard to talk about.
37:44I'm like learning to talk about it.
37:46I think it's important that you talk about it.
37:49Cause you're gonna go through a mourning process and a healing process that it is not quick.
37:56Your heart is never gonna be the same.
37:58Yeah.
38:00I wish that he was still here.
38:03Um.
38:05Cause I think he could remind me that, um, that good men exist still.
38:13Like good fathers exist still.
38:17Because I'm very wounded by, by men.
38:20You know, you lost someone who's supposed to guide you and you lost her way too young.
38:24The thought of not having my mom who just gives me guidance.
38:28Like when I don't know what to do, I trust her with my life.
38:31I know.
38:35And she was still making jokes at the end.
38:37She's like, I don't want to die on your birthday.
38:39I don't want it to be a sad memory.
38:41So she's like, please God, take me after your birthday.
38:44So it was my birthday.
38:45I came to San Diego on the 3rd.
38:47And it was the last day that she was kind of like, she was alive, but she was not really
38:52present anymore.
38:54And I gave her a hug and she cried.
38:58And she passed that next day.
39:01Yeah.
39:02Yeah.
39:07Before my mom passed, she told me she was a big believer in signs and that she would figure out
39:12a way to provide signs for me.
39:15I'm going to sound crazy, but I think that sometimes she comes into my dreams to like communicate with me.
39:23And I feel like ever since she's passed, my life has gotten a lot better and positive.
39:29And I think she's leading that way for me and helping me.
39:48I love you a lot.
39:50I know.
39:51I love you too.
39:52I'm sorry that you lost your dad.
39:54I'm sorry that you lost your mom.
40:01Next time on the valley.
40:04Lala, I had the most intense sex stream and you were involved in it.
40:09The What?
40:27Knock it off, dog. I'm not f***ing with you right now.
Comments