00:01I think most of you know that I'm a husband and a father to two beautiful daughters.
00:08And I want to speak to all the women that subscribe to this channel.
00:13And I want to remind you that you can be gentle and still be strong.
00:19You know, sometimes a woman gets tired of feeling like she has to become harder just to survive.
00:27You'll walk into rooms where softness feels risky.
00:31You'll learn to hold back your warmth because somebody might mistake it for weakness.
00:37You'll learn to hide your tears because people might call you emotional.
00:43You'll learn to speak sharper, stand colder, act like nothing touches you.
00:49Because somewhere along the way, life has taught you that tenderness can cost you.
00:58And maybe you never wanted to become hard.
01:02Maybe you were just tired of being overlooked.
01:05And I want to speak to that woman today.
01:09The woman carrying pressure nobody sees.
01:12The woman trying to be strong in business, at home, in her family, in her faith, and in her own
01:21private thoughts.
01:22The woman who has prayed and still felt tired.
01:26The woman who has believed and still felt disappointed.
01:31The woman who wonders if Jesus is truly enough for this kind of pressure.
01:42You do not need to become masculine to matter.
01:47You do not need to become harsh to be respected.
01:53You do not need to bury the beautiful parts of yourself to be taken seriously.
02:00You can be strong without becoming hard.
02:04You can be wise without becoming cold.
02:08You can lead without losing your warmth.
02:12You can be feminine, gentle, graceful, emotional, creative, girly, and still be capable.
02:24You can love beauty and still build something serious.
02:28You can speak kindly and still hold a boundary.
02:32You can have a soft heart and still refuse to be walked on.
02:40Oh, you know what?
02:42The world often teaches women that power looks like hardness.
02:48It says you have to be more aggressive, more detached, more intimidating, less feeling, less tender, less openly feminine.
03:01But Jesus, I want you to follow me with this because Jesus actually shows us something different.
03:09You know, one of the most overlooked lessons from Jesus is that he never confused gentleness with weakness.
03:19He was gentle, but nobody controlled him.
03:23He was compassionate, but nobody manipulated him.
03:27He was kind, but never confused.
03:31He could wash feet and still confront pride.
03:35He would welcome children and still overturn tables.
03:40He could weep at a tomb and still call Lazarus out of it.
03:46Now that is real strength.
03:50Jesus did not have to act cold to be powerful.
03:54He did not have to perform toughness to carry authority.
03:58He was fully anchored in the Father, so he did not need to prove himself in every room.
04:06And that matters for you.
04:10Because maybe you've been trying to prove you belong.
04:14Maybe you felt like you had to copy the hardest person in the room just to be respected.
04:21Maybe you thought success would require you to lower your softness and raise your armor.
04:27But your strength does not have to look borrowed.
04:33Jesus never asked women to become less, to become more trusted.
04:41Look at how Jesus actually treated women.
04:44He saw them.
04:46He listened to them.
04:47He defended them.
04:49He honored their faith.
04:51He did not shame their emotion.
04:54And he did not treat their tenderness like a problem.
04:59He did not erase who they were before he valued them.
05:05You know, Mary sat at his feet when others thought she should be somewhere else.
05:11Jesus defended her.
05:13He did not call her weak for wanting to be near him.
05:17He honored her hunger for truth.
05:21Or think about the woman that wept at his feet while others judged her.
05:27Jesus did not call her too much.
05:30He saw love where other people saw embarrassment.
05:36And I want you to think with me about the woman at the well.
05:40She had a past that other people whispered about.
05:44Jesus did not speak to her like she was ruined.
05:48He spoke to her like she was still reachable, still valuable, and still able to carry truth back into her
05:56town.
05:57I want you to think about that last statement.
06:00She was still able to carry truth back into her town.
06:05At the end of the conversation with Jesus, she said,
06:09I'm going back to my town to tell everyone about you and that you knew everything about me.
06:16That was a declaration that she was to become the very first preacher.
06:24And she went back to her town and she preached.
06:27So the first preacher in history, according to the Bible, New Testament, was a woman.
06:34And that is powerful.
06:36You see, please don't miss that.
06:38Because Jesus did not treat women like background people.
06:44Now, religion may do so, but not Jesus.
06:48I wonder sometimes half these religions haven't even read the New Testament, obviously.
06:54The way that they treat women and the position that they put them in,
06:59in their rule book, is ridiculous and totally against the text itself.
07:06You see, Jesus did not say that femininity made them less serious.
07:12He did not tell them to become colder before they could be useful.
07:17He saw the strength in a woman.
07:20And he did that in a world that often misses that fact.
07:26So, why would you let the world convince you that the way God made you is a liability?
07:34You can be girly and gifted at the same time.
07:39You can be pretty and still be powerful.
07:43You can be soft-spoken and still be deeply wise.
07:49You can love dresses, makeup, family, beauty, home, creativity.
07:56You can be soft-spoken, tenderness, and still have a mind that can lead.
08:01None of that cancels your intelligence.
08:06None of that cancels your calling.
08:09And none of that removes opportunity from your life.
08:15You see, being feminine is not a flaw you have to fix.
08:19It's not a weakness to care.
08:22It's not a weakness to cry.
08:26It's not a weakness to feel deeply.
08:29And it's not a weakness to bring warmth into a cold room.
08:35I want to say this clearly.
08:40Being gentle does not mean you let people use you.
08:44It does not mean you say yes when your spirit knows you should say no.
08:53It does not mean to stay silent when something is wrong.
08:57And it does not mean you confuse peace with people-pleasing.
09:10You see, strength does not always answer back.
09:14Strength does not always explain itself to people committed to misunderstanding it.
09:20Sometimes, strength asks a question.
09:24Sometimes, strength walks away.
09:28Sometimes, strength stays quiet because not every room deserves access to your heart.
09:36That is not weakness.
09:39That is discernment.
09:41And a feminine woman can have boundaries.
09:45A gentle woman can leave the table.
09:48A kind woman can make a hard decision.
09:52A gracious woman can stop allowing disrespect.
09:57You don't have to become cruel to become clear.
10:02And I know some of you are tired because you've carried too much for too long.
10:08You're trying to show up at work while your heart is still heavy.
10:13You're trying to keep your family together while you feel stretched thin.
10:18You're trying to believe God while also wondering why certain prayers still have not been answered.
10:27And maybe underneath all of it is a quiet question.
10:31Is Jesus enough for what I'm carrying?
10:36Well, here's your answer.
10:38I will not tell you that following Jesus means you never hurt.
10:43Some people have prayed and still cried themselves to sleep.
10:49Some people have believed and still lost something precious.
10:54Some people have trusted God and still walked through pressure, grief, fear, loneliness, financial stress, family strain, and disappointment.
11:10You see, Jesus being enough does not always mean the weight disappears in a moment.
11:17Sometimes it means he keeps your heart from turning into stone while you walk through the weight.
11:25Sometimes it means he gives you courage for one more meeting, one more conversation, one more boundary, one more morning,
11:37one more step.
11:41Sometimes it means he sits with you in the place where everyone else thinks you are fine.
11:47Sometimes it means he reminds you that you can still be tender because he is strong enough to hold what
11:56you cannot carry alone.
11:58That is why you do not have to become hard.
12:03You have Jesus.
12:05You have a Savior who understands pressure.
12:08You have a Savior who has been misunderstood.
12:15You have a Savior who is gentle and still unshakable.
12:19And you have a Savior who knows how to strengthen a heart without making it bitter.
12:27Let him make you steady, not cold.
12:31Let him make you brave, not sharp.
12:34Let him make you wise, not suspicious of everyone.
12:42You know, maybe the goal is not to become less soft so the world will take you seriously.
12:50Maybe the goal is to become so rooted in Jesus Christ that the world no longer gets to rename what
12:58God already called good.
13:01So, take the meeting, build the business, raise your children, start again, heal, speak up, learn the skill, sign the
13:14contract, walk through the door, and let your voice be heard.
13:21But do not abandon your heart on the way there.
13:24The world needs women who are strong and still warm, wise and still gracious, capable and still kind, feminine and
13:38still fearless.
13:40You do not need to act masculine to get ahead.
13:44You do not need to become hard to be safe.
13:48You do not need to become someone else to be chosen by God.
13:54The same Jesus who sees your tears also sees your strength.
14:01The same Jesus who knows your pressure also knows your purpose.
14:08And when the world tells you that softness cannot survive, I want you to remember this.
14:17A heart held by Jesus can stay gentle and still be impossible to defeat.
14:27Truth.
14:28Truth.
14:30My name is Douglas Van der Graaff and I believe in Jesus Christ.
14:36God bless every single one of you.
14:41Every single one.
14:45Bye-bye.
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