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deaddogsdam
  • 11 hours ago
Transcript
00:00:12Watcha, mate.
00:00:16Boy, where's the funeral, then?
00:00:21Watch it, mate. She's got out of the box.
00:00:29Don't do that when you take your test, mate. You'll never pass.
00:00:33You filthy rotten road time.
00:00:35Good for you, lady.
00:00:44What's the matter with you? Can't you give a hand signal?
00:00:48Oh, veteran driver.
00:00:54Charlie?
00:00:57Charlie?
00:01:00Charlie?
00:01:01Ted?
00:01:07Hello, Peg. And how are you this lovely morning?
00:01:10Never mind about the lovely morning. Where's Charlie?
00:01:12Charlie? Oh, I don't know, Peg. Or perhaps he's in the office.
00:01:16No, he's not. I've just been in there.
00:01:17Oh, I, er... I meant the other office. You know, the...
00:01:24What, for two hours?
00:01:26Oh, come off it, Ted. You can't fool me.
00:01:29Has he gone out cabbing?
00:01:30Oh, no. Well, I wouldn't do a thing like that, would he?
00:01:33I mean, not after he's promised you. He's somewhere around, I expect.
00:01:37Don't worry. Look, I'll find him.
00:01:47Well?
00:01:48It's all right. I've finished it.
00:01:49You mean you've done all them things you said?
00:01:51Yeah.
00:01:52How'd you do them then?
00:01:53Well, it's simple. Just took out the slack.
00:01:54Oh.
00:01:59Service.
00:02:01What do you want?
00:02:02Oh, sorry.
00:02:03Make a pardon.
00:02:04I think I'll have a nice, quick forkney roll with you.
00:02:07That's enough sauce out of you, Ted Watson, if you don't shut up.
00:02:10Well, give us a kiss, then.
00:02:11No, I won't.
00:02:12You ought to be...
00:02:14Oh!
00:02:15I wish I had a nice big spanner handy.
00:02:17Oh, so do I. I'll get you loosened up a bit.
00:02:20Why don't you two get married and we could all get a bit of peace?
00:02:23Well, that suits me fine. How about it, sir?
00:02:24Over my dead body.
00:02:26It's not what you said in the pictures the other night.
00:02:28Why, what did I say?
00:02:29Oh, very romantic it was. Let me see, what was it now?
00:02:31Oh, yeah. She said, you get your hand away.
00:02:35Eh?
00:02:36He was trying to pinch my walnut crackle.
00:02:38Yeah, I mean, he did too. We'll have to get married now, won't we?
00:02:41Now, I'm warning you, Ted Watson, if you don't shut up, I'll...
00:02:44I'll fling this to you right in your ugly mug.
00:02:46Oh, blimey, I'm going so. It's too much like home.
00:02:49Yeah, well, watch out for that clutch now, Smiley, won't you? It's a bit fierce now.
00:02:53Walnut crackle.
00:02:54Zep, Zep, Zep.
00:02:58Zep.
00:03:01Zep...
00:03:02Zep.
00:03:16It's a little behind you.
00:03:19Ugh...
00:03:23Let's go.
00:03:24The things in this row do you want, didn't concern, they might be a maidman?
00:03:24Is one of myç”°, here, so if you can get married of Paul, tava the ladylox soup.
00:03:28No, I haven't.
00:03:50You should have opened the gate first.
00:03:52I did open the gate.
00:03:54Smiley, what the devil said?
00:03:56Blimey, what's happened?
00:03:57He forgot to open the gate.
00:03:58I didn't forget to open the perishing gate.
00:04:01You must have done it. Shut, look.
00:04:03That's right. I shut it when I came in.
00:04:06Would you mind shutting up when I'm talking to you?
00:04:08You shut it.
00:04:09Well, of course I did.
00:04:11Why?
00:04:11Well, it says up there, have you closed the gate, and I hadn't, so I did.
00:04:14Well, I just opened it to go out, you great big nit.
00:04:18All right, all right, Smiley, I'll handle this.
00:04:20You just drive that into repair bay before Charlie sees it.
00:04:25Who are you? What do you want?
00:04:26Oh, I want a job.
00:04:35Made a good start, haven't you?
00:04:36Oh, have I started?
00:04:38Look, cocks, shove off. Try the breakers yard. It's more on your line.
00:04:41Oh, are you the boss or something?
00:04:44I'm what they call a something manager.
00:04:46And my advice to you is to be off.
00:04:48You mean buzz off?
00:04:49No, but you're getting warm.
00:04:51But I want to be a taxi driver.
00:04:53Why, the bloke who gave me this card, he said I'd be all right here.
00:04:58This is to introduce...
00:04:59Oh, ex-army, eh?
00:05:01Yeah.
00:05:01Well, the boss likes to look after the boys, you know?
00:05:03He was in it himself.
00:05:04Yeah.
00:05:05Yes.
00:05:07Your name really, Tankard?
00:05:08Yes, Terry Tankard.
00:05:10One of the boys always called me Pimp Pot.
00:05:13Oh, you sure it was, um, Pimp Pot?
00:05:16Oh, yes.
00:05:18You see, it's because my name is Tankard.
00:05:20All right, thank you very much indeed. Here you are.
00:05:22The boss is up with the cab at the moment, so you'd better come and have a nice cuppa.
00:05:24Oh.
00:05:25This way.
00:05:30I'm sorry.
00:05:31There's not going to be much of this place left if we stay here.
00:05:33Well, Ted, where is he then?
00:05:36Oh, where's who, Pimp?
00:05:37You know very well who.
00:05:39The governor.
00:05:40You can't see him now. He's out in the cab.
00:05:42Oh?
00:05:44How do you know?
00:05:45He told me.
00:05:47Oh, I remember now, yes.
00:05:49You see, we're rather short of drivers, Pimp and...
00:05:51He didn't bother making excuses for him, Ted.
00:05:54The fact is, he'd rather spend his time playing about with a taxi than with me.
00:05:58Oh, don't talk nonsense, Peg.
00:06:00You know, he loves playing about with...
00:06:02I mean, spending time with you.
00:06:05What time?
00:06:06He's up and out before I'm awake, and not back till after I'm asleep.
00:06:10I haven't had a chance to talk to him since last Wednesday,
00:06:13and then it was only with his legs.
00:06:15His legs?
00:06:17Yes.
00:06:17Sticking out from under a cab.
00:06:20It's not fair.
00:06:21He knows I can't get under one.
00:06:23Oh, you can't blame him for working hard, Peg.
00:06:26I mean, after all, there's lots of women.
00:06:27Be only too pleased to be married to Charlie.
00:06:29So would I.
00:06:30And I'm his wife.
00:06:33Well, I want to talk to him.
00:06:35Which cab has he got out?
00:06:36Um, 66.
00:06:38Clickety-click.
00:06:39I'll give him clickety-click.
00:06:52That's right.
00:06:53Have you got everything on the front?
00:06:54Yes.
00:06:55Now, that little one can go on the seat.
00:06:57No, I think I'd better take that.
00:06:59Uh, no.
00:07:00No, it'd better go on the seat.
00:07:02Uh, that's right.
00:07:03Now, then, the basket can go on the seat with me, too.
00:07:05Now, I'll take the umbrella.
00:07:11That's it.
00:07:13Now, then, that just leaves this one.
00:07:14And be very careful with this.
00:07:16It's real cowhide.
00:07:17Naturally.
00:07:18It belongs to a real cowhide, is it?
00:07:22Surely I haven't forgotten anything like kitchen sink, parrot, husband.
00:07:26My husband has passed on.
00:07:29I'm not surprised.
00:07:31Are you sure he's in the sister sticks, Mrs. H?
00:07:33You don't answer.
00:07:33I'm positive.
00:07:34Just keep trying.
00:07:35Come in, 66.
00:07:37Where are you?
00:07:37Where in the hell are you, 66?
00:07:39Come on, let's have you.
00:07:40All right, all right, Sarge.
00:07:41I'm here.
00:07:42Don't do your nuts.
00:07:43What's all to panic about?
00:07:44I'll talk to him.
00:07:46Charlie, is that you?
00:07:47Oh, darn it.
00:07:49Are you there, Charlie?
00:07:50It's the radio Luxembourg, yeah?
00:07:52And now for a spot of the old dance music.
00:07:54You can stop that nonsense.
00:07:56I know it's you.
00:07:58Charlie, have you forgotten what today is?
00:08:01Today?
00:08:03No, sweetheart, of course I haven't forgotten what today is.
00:08:06I mean, how can I forget what today is?
00:08:09Oh, blimey, it's our anniversary.
00:08:11Exactly.
00:08:12Heaven knows.
00:08:13I don't ask much.
00:08:15But I would have thought this was one day in a year when you didn't have to go out cabbing.
00:08:19Cabbing?
00:08:19What makes you think I'm cabbing, love?
00:08:21I just slipped out to get you a present.
00:08:24Really, Charlie?
00:08:25Certainly.
00:08:26You don't think I'd be plying for her on a day like this, do you?
00:08:28Driver, please don't talk while you're driving.
00:08:30It makes me nervous.
00:08:31Who was that?
00:08:33Who was what, love?
00:08:34Who's that woman you've got with you?
00:08:37Oh, just some old faggot I'm taking to the station, that's all.
00:08:42I thought you said you weren't cabbing.
00:08:45Well, that happened to be on the way.
00:08:46No point in turning down a few bobbies there.
00:08:48Charlie, I don't know what's happened to you.
00:08:50You never used to be like this.
00:08:53Do you remember what you said to me on our wedding night?
00:08:57Of course I remember.
00:08:59I said, move over and give us a better room, mate.
00:09:03What?
00:09:03What did you say?
00:09:05I wasn't talking to you, sweetheart.
00:09:07I'm talking to some other lunatic, some other lunatic driver.
00:09:10Well, just to refresh your memory,
00:09:13you said you'd never let anything come between us and our happiness.
00:09:17I know that, love, but I can't...
00:09:19Kindly concentrate on your driving.
00:09:21Oh, belter!
00:09:23Charlie!
00:09:24I'm talking to the old faggot.
00:09:26I beg your pardon?
00:09:27I happen to be talking to my wife.
00:09:29Well, I'm glad you realised that.
00:09:31Oh, look here, Peg, I'm trying to do three things at a time.
00:09:34I'll be home in about five minutes to have a look with something very nice for you.
00:09:38Really, Charlie?
00:09:40What is it?
00:09:41Well, that would be telling, wouldn't it?
00:09:45Something to wear.
00:09:46Something very special.
00:09:47What is it, Charlie?
00:09:49Driver, I really don't feel safe.
00:09:52Never you mind.
00:09:52Just slip out of your old clothes, get into something slinky,
00:09:55and I'll be back there with something very nice.
00:09:58Help!
00:10:00Police!
00:10:00Stop the cab!
00:10:01Let me out!
00:10:02Let me out of here!
00:10:03Help!
00:10:04Police!
00:10:05Police!
00:10:05Police!
00:10:06Police!
00:10:06Police!
00:10:06I've got a mad woman in here!
00:10:09All right, Albright.
00:10:10Tommy, we're off.
00:10:12What are you hanging around here for?
00:10:13Mr. Watson, I've got a complaint.
00:10:14Oh, don't worry.
00:10:15Keep taking the tablets.
00:10:16You can laugh if you like, but I was seriously thinking of calling a protest meeting.
00:10:19Oh, about what?
00:10:21All these ex-service people you keep bringing in for training is placing our jobs in Jopardy.
00:10:25Here.
00:10:25That's the only word for it.
00:10:26Jopardy.
00:10:27All right, then.
00:10:27Now, before Charlie started, there wasn't a regular cab service in this town.
00:10:30Now we've got 40, employing 20 regular drivers full-time.
00:10:33I don't care.
00:10:34It's up to me, in my official capacity as shop steward, to make an official complaint.
00:10:38Well, I know all about that.
00:10:39But you go and sort it up.
00:10:39We're the money.
00:10:39It's your tea, Mr. Albright.
00:10:41Can I get you a cup, Mr. Watson?
00:10:45Oh, thanks.
00:10:46I'll get me own.
00:10:47Terribly sorry.
00:10:48Blush off.
00:10:52Couldn't have happened to a nicer float.
00:10:54That poor lad, that's a fair cup of tea he's bought since he came in here.
00:10:57He hasn't managed to get one down yet.
00:11:00Could I have another cup, Miss, please?
00:11:05You are dear.
00:11:06Try and get that one down, will you?
00:11:07Don't you worry.
00:11:08I will.
00:11:12So sorry.
00:11:13Oh, I say, what will you think of me?
00:11:15I'll let you know when I've dried out.
00:11:18Peg upstairs.
00:11:19Yeah.
00:11:19She's not too pleased with you.
00:11:20Wait till she sees her first coat I've bought her.
00:11:22Oh, great.
00:11:23Oh, this, by the way, this is Tankard.
00:11:25He's a member of your old mob, and he's coming around here looking for a job.
00:11:27Go on.
00:11:28R-A-S-C.
00:11:30Have much driving experience?
00:11:31Five years on the road, and without an accident.
00:11:34It don't do so well off it.
00:11:35I'm sorry about that, Mr. Hawkins.
00:11:37I'm not as clumsy as that driving.
00:11:39Honest.
00:11:39What were you with?
00:11:41Bulldozers.
00:11:42Then you make a very good cab driver.
00:11:44Here, when are the others done?
00:11:45Well, this morning. They're waiting for you up in the office.
00:11:46You're so lonely.
00:11:47Here, I'll tell you what, mate.
00:11:48We'll give you a go.
00:11:49Oh.
00:11:49You go into my office with the others and tell them I'll be along in about five minutes.
00:11:52You all right?
00:11:53Oh, thank you very much, Mr. Hawkins.
00:11:54I won't let you down. I promise I won't.
00:11:56There'll be no more mistakes.
00:11:58No, no.
00:11:59I can do it, Mr. Hawkins.
00:12:00You don't have to...
00:12:02You...
00:12:06Excuse me.
00:12:11Oh, I could punish myself.
00:12:16Now, don't open them till I tell you.
00:12:20It's too closed.
00:12:23Any minute now.
00:12:26Right, now!
00:12:29Oh, Charlie!
00:12:31Oh!
00:12:34Oh!
00:12:35It's lovely!
00:12:37I'll say it is.
00:12:38Genuine mammoth, that is.
00:12:40Oh, that is silly, Charlie.
00:12:42Straight up, it said so on the shop window.
00:12:44Mammoth fur sale.
00:12:45Ah, you're pulling my leg.
00:12:47I know, stranded musquash when I see it.
00:12:50Stranded musquash?
00:12:51Shipwrecked meat, more like it.
00:12:54I don't care what it is.
00:12:57It's lovely.
00:13:00Happy anniversary, dear.
00:13:01Thank you, love.
00:13:02Oh, here.
00:13:03Here's the bill.
00:13:04I promise you send them a check today.
00:13:05Oh, right.
00:13:06I don't know why you put all your money into my account.
00:13:09Well, it's safer there, ain't it?
00:13:10I get enough from tips, don't I?
00:13:12I've got your present here, Charlie.
00:13:15You would have got it earlier, Annie.
00:13:16You went out before I woke up.
00:13:18Oh, you shouldn't have bothered getting me anything.
00:13:20Here, hang on to that.
00:13:23Hey, what's this?
00:13:25Oh, that's marvellous.
00:13:26That's smashing!
00:13:27That's just what I wanted.
00:13:30What is it?
00:13:31It's a smoking jacket.
00:13:33Oh.
00:13:34There's a park to go with it.
00:13:35And slippers.
00:13:38I thought they'd go well with the cottage.
00:13:40Yes, they were, weren't they?
00:13:41I found the very one, Charlie.
00:13:43It's only about six miles out of town.
00:13:45It's all plaster and oak beams.
00:13:47We can easily afford it now, too.
00:13:49Yes, it sounds very nice, but...
00:13:51You'll love it, Charlie.
00:13:53It's got this great big garden and an old-fashioned kitchen in a nursery.
00:13:58Yes.
00:13:58Well, we don't want to start worrying about moving till the kids come along, do we?
00:14:01Here, I've got a gallop.
00:14:02Excuse me.
00:14:04Charlie!
00:14:05You're not going again?
00:14:06I can't do, love.
00:14:07I've got these boys waiting down there to start instructions.
00:14:09See you at dinner time.
00:14:13Sam!
00:14:16Now then, before you start, there are one or two things I want to make quite clear.
00:14:21Firstly, when you get to be a cab driver, you cut yourself right off from the rest of the human
00:14:25race.
00:14:26Everybody's got it in for you, and nobody loves you.
00:14:28In no time at all, you find that you're about as popular as a wicker work seat in a nudist
00:14:32cab.
00:14:32And you know what sort of impression that makes on people.
00:14:34Oh, that's very good.
00:14:38Secondly, don't think it's easy to get a cab his license because it's not.
00:14:42You have to pass a very stiff police test.
00:14:44Thirdly, it's hard work and long hours.
00:14:47We run a day and night service here.
00:14:49If you get on a night work, it means lots of overtime lolly.
00:14:51Which is very handy, but makes you highly unpopular with a missus.
00:14:54I know.
00:14:55Now then, if any of you don't fancy the job, now's your time to speak.
00:15:00We will get one night off a week, won't we?
00:15:03Of course. You maddie?
00:15:04Oh, no.
00:15:06Only I belong to this rambling club, you see.
00:15:08And so does a very nice girl, too.
00:15:10And, well, once a week we do like to go as far as we can.
00:15:18Yes.
00:15:20Oh, Peg, it's really beautiful. You are lucky.
00:15:24Yes, Aunt Ed.
00:15:27It's just what I always wanted.
00:15:30Now, Peg, you mustn't let it upset you like this.
00:15:33I can't help it. I'm so happy.
00:15:38I know just how you feel.
00:15:40Like when Ted gave me this bracelet for my birthday.
00:15:43It's the nicest prison I'd ever had.
00:15:46Not as nice as your fur coat, of course.
00:15:50What's the use of having a nice fur coat of this?
00:15:53I want to advise you or take you out, is it?
00:15:57Right. You've all had a chance to study this map of the town.
00:16:01Then, supposing you had to pick up a fare there to go to the station there.
00:16:05What's your best route?
00:16:07Well, that's easy. Straight along the high street.
00:16:10The best route, I said. Not the shortest.
00:16:12A cab driver never goes straight anywhere, mate.
00:16:14Here, give me that.
00:16:14Look, that's the way I go.
00:16:16Down there. Long here.
00:16:17Up there.
00:16:18There.
00:16:18There.
00:16:19There. And there.
00:16:20See that?
00:16:21Now, that way takes in five sets of traffic lights.
00:16:24Every time you have to wait at a red, it threatens on the clock.
00:16:26Five reds and you've hit the jetpots.
00:16:28Here, Pipe Pot.
00:16:29You're very good at going as far as you can.
00:16:31Supposing you have to take a fare from the rank there to the theatre here.
00:16:35Show me.
00:16:37Well, let me see now.
00:16:39First of all, I turn left into James Street.
00:16:42Right into North Road.
00:16:44Left into London Road.
00:16:47Right at the lights.
00:16:49Ooh.
00:16:50Where does that get me?
00:16:52In court.
00:16:53You've gone down two one-way streets and into a public convenience.
00:16:58It's not so much not seeing much of him or not going anywhere.
00:17:03It's having to live here in the garage.
00:17:05Just like another cab.
00:17:08Why don't you get that cottage in the country you're always talking about?
00:17:11I want to.
00:17:12And it isn't as if we can't afford it.
00:17:14There's thousands in the bank and all in my name, too.
00:17:17Every time I bring it up, he says he must be near the business.
00:17:21Might be different if we had a kid.
00:17:23Don't you believe it?
00:17:24Ted's just the same.
00:17:25Put me and an old engine side by side and I'll give you one guess which one he starts to
00:17:29strip down.
00:17:29They've got cabs on the brain, both of them.
00:17:32Even when we do get a chance to talk, it's cabs, cabs, cabs.
00:17:35He can't even get into bed now without saying where to.
00:17:39Well, you're too soft with him, Peg.
00:17:41You want to assert yourself now and then.
00:17:43Yeah, I suppose so.
00:17:45Well, it's not as if he's a bad husband.
00:17:47It's just that he doesn't even have much time for me anymore.
00:17:51Even today is her anniversary.
00:17:53I've hardly seen him.
00:17:55Well, you'll be going out tonight and celebrating somehow, won't you?
00:17:58I don't think so.
00:17:59He hasn't said anything.
00:18:01Well, don't wait for him to say you say.
00:18:03Just tell him you want to go out and have some fun.
00:18:07Do you think I should?
00:18:08What have you got to lose?
00:18:14I'd better get back to the canteen. School's out.
00:18:17Oh, look at him.
00:18:19Ringmaster Hawkins and his Liberty Taxis.
00:18:22That's it. Now, keep it nice and smooth. That's it. Keep it going.
00:18:26Lovely. That's it. Lovely.
00:18:27That's it. That's the idea.
00:18:29And just remember, all the time you're cruising,
00:18:31you're on the lookout for fares.
00:18:33So keep those eyes going.
00:18:38That's it. Lovely.
00:18:40Now, you've all got a touch of the cabby's eye.
00:18:42Tell him what we do now.
00:18:43We pretend I'm a fare.
00:18:44So stand by.
00:18:46That's right.
00:18:54Have you gone raving mad?
00:18:56You're supposed to pick them up, not run them down.
00:18:58Oh, I'm sorry.
00:19:00I'm too anxious. That's my trouble.
00:19:01Save that for your rambling club, mate. Get out.
00:19:05All right, you lot. That wasn't bad at all.
00:19:06But you all made one serious mistake.
00:19:08Your flags are still up.
00:19:09The very second somebody hails you, get that flag down.
00:19:12Here, look. I'll show you. Hold that.
00:19:16Now, here's the drill. Watch.
00:19:18All right, go on, somebody. Yell, taxi.
00:19:19Taxi!
00:19:20One, two.
00:19:21See that?
00:19:23There we go again.
00:19:25One, two.
00:19:27Note the acknowledge ingested with the right hand.
00:19:29Right?
00:19:29Come on, you have a go.
00:19:31There we are.
00:19:34Ready?
00:19:36Taxi!
00:19:38One, two.
00:19:44One, two.
00:19:47Using all the fingers.
00:19:48Oh.
00:19:49It's courtesy to all customers at all times.
00:19:51Until you see the tip.
00:19:52Yeah.
00:19:53And then it's every man for himself.
00:20:04Keep the change.
00:20:05Oh, thank you, sir.
00:20:12Excuse me, sir.
00:20:14Excuse me, sir.
00:20:14Does this pearly ring belong to you?
00:20:16What?
00:20:17With tweeds.
00:20:24I've got a good bunch of new lads this time.
00:20:27One of them's a bit, uh, over-enthusiastic, let's say.
00:20:30But I'll soon make a good cab driver out of them. Don't you worry.
00:20:33With a bit of luck, we'll have four more cabs on the road next month.
00:20:36Charlie.
00:20:36That'll make 44 in all. Not bad for the town this size.
00:20:39Charlie.
00:20:39And with each of them averaging 30 quid a week, we'll really make some money.
00:20:42Charlie, I want to go out this evening.
00:20:44Then we get three more cabs, and we...
00:20:46You won't.
00:20:47I said I'd like to go out tonight.
00:20:49Uptown or something.
00:20:50Uptown? What for?
00:20:52Oh, I'd like to see a good show.
00:20:54Have a nice supper after.
00:20:55Oh.
00:20:56Well, all right, love.
00:20:57Only I thought, seeing it's our anniversary, you might like to spend the evening with me.
00:21:01I meant with you.
00:21:02Oh.
00:21:03Well, we don't want to waste time going uptown, do we?
00:21:06Let's do what we always do.
00:21:07Get a bottle in, watch the telly, and then have a bit of a cuddle-up, eh?
00:21:10Oh, yes.
00:21:11Like last year, when you had to go out on a call halfway through.
00:21:16Halfway through what?
00:21:17Amateur boxing.
00:21:18Oh, yes.
00:21:19Well, you don't have to worry about that tonight, sweetheart, because there's none.
00:21:23So, good, Charlie.
00:21:24I've made up my mind.
00:21:26We're going out at 7 o'clock.
00:21:28Yes.
00:21:28And I've asked Sally and Ted to come with us.
00:21:30And what's more, we're not going by cab.
00:21:34We're going in style.
00:21:36By bus.
00:21:39Bus.
00:21:47Take it easy.
00:21:48Take it easy.
00:21:49You're not driving a food dozer now.
00:21:51Just relax.
00:21:52Watch it!
00:21:55Missed him.
00:21:56Look, do me a favor, just take it easy.
00:21:58This may be an old cab, but it's the first one I ever had.
00:22:00And I'm very fond of her.
00:22:12What are you doing?
00:22:15Don't do that, you distracted!
00:22:34Come round here!
00:22:37Come round here!
00:22:59We're home.
00:23:04Oh, my God.
00:23:05That was fun, wasn't it?
00:23:07I enjoyed that.
00:23:08I wish I could say the same.
00:23:11Have an accident?
00:23:12No, thank you.
00:23:13We've just had some.
00:23:21Well, what's the matter with Smiley's cab, then?
00:23:22I don't know.
00:23:23He just hasn't shown up.
00:23:24And he's got a booking for the airport at six and four other bookings later on.
00:23:26Well, can't one of the other fellas do it?
00:23:28No, they're all busy.
00:23:29Airport, eh?
00:23:30Yeah.
00:23:30Well, I can do that trip and still be back in time to take Peg out.
00:23:33Okay, then I'll do the others for you.
00:23:34But weren't you and Sal supposed to be coming out with us?
00:23:36Oh, we can't afford to let bookings down, can we?
00:23:38Anyway, it's your anniversary, not ours.
00:23:40Well, if you don't mind, mate.
00:23:41Nah, it's quite all right.
00:23:42Here you are.
00:23:42Look, there's your address for the airport party.
00:23:43Right, jump.
00:23:44I'll drive if you like, Mr. Hawkins.
00:23:46You're joking, aren't you?
00:23:47Ah, well, couldn't I come with you, then?
00:23:49Just to see how it's done.
00:23:50You're not supposed to sit.
00:23:53Come on, then.
00:23:58Oi.
00:24:12Hello, sorry.
00:24:13Oh, nearly finished here, Ted.
00:24:15Won't be a minute.
00:24:16Oh, don't you hurry.
00:24:16Take time.
00:24:17What do you mean?
00:24:18I've got to get home and do my hair and get changed and do everything, yeah?
00:24:21Oh, you don't worry about all that.
00:24:23Well, you don't think I'm going to London looking like this, do you?
00:24:25No, I don't.
00:24:27You see, well, look, Smiley hasn't turned up yet, you see, and there's a lot of bookings
00:24:31coming, and, well, I knew you wouldn't mind if I just...
00:24:34Look, Sal, please don't do that.
00:24:35I know you won't do that, Sal.
00:24:47There we are, then.
00:24:49Just got married.
00:24:50Yes.
00:24:50Lovely.
00:24:51Won't be wrong now, will it?
00:24:54Here we are.
00:24:56Right, thanks.
00:24:57Oh, well, what about my bag?
00:24:59She's already in.
00:25:04I wonder if I've got the right soap.
00:25:06I can't remember whether it was green for oily skin or oily for green skin.
00:25:12Still, after 14 years, I don't suppose he'd notice a difference anyway.
00:25:26Well, that's it.
00:25:28Yes.
00:25:28Blimey, look at the time.
00:25:30Where are they?
00:25:32Oi.
00:25:34Save something for later.
00:25:35Ha-ha.
00:25:38Madam?
00:25:41It's exactly 12 and 6, please, Gav.
00:25:43Oh, thanks.
00:25:44And, uh, keep the change.
00:25:46Oh, thank you, sir.
00:25:47May I wish you a very happy honeymoon.
00:25:48Thanks.
00:25:48Oh, get your pages.
00:25:50Oh, my clothes!
00:25:51Oh, my God!
00:25:54Oh, my God!
00:25:54I'm so sorry.
00:25:55It's a good job you won't be needing them, isn't it?
00:25:57Ha-ha!
00:25:58Ha-ha!
00:25:59Ha-ha!
00:26:00Ha-ha!
00:26:00Ha-ha!
00:26:00Ha-ha!
00:26:01Ha-ha!
00:26:01Ha-ha!
00:26:02Ha-ha!
00:26:03Ha-ha!
00:26:04Ha-ha!
00:26:05Get back in there!
00:26:21Who would have thought a towel would have made all that much difference?
00:26:25Oh.
00:26:36She'll just about make it.
00:26:37Half an hour to get back.
00:26:38Ten minutes, put some decent clobber on.
00:26:40What's that bloke playing there?
00:26:41What's he trying to do, kill himself?
00:26:44Are you a taxi?
00:26:46No.
00:26:46This is a taxi.
00:26:48I'm a driver.
00:26:49He's a learner.
00:26:49And you're a twit.
00:26:50Now, get out of the way.
00:26:51I mean, I...
00:26:51No, no, you must help me.
00:26:53It's my wife.
00:26:53She's gonna have a baby.
00:26:54If I don't get home by seven, mine's gonna have a fit.
00:26:57No, no, look, you must help me.
00:26:58I've got to get her to hospital.
00:27:00It's on the way.
00:27:01How do you know it's on the way?
00:27:02You don't know which way I'm going.
00:27:04No, no, no, the baby's on the way.
00:27:06Oh.
00:27:07All right, then, but out of here, please.
00:27:09Through the white guy.
00:27:10Yeah, it's all right.
00:27:38You don't know which way.
00:27:44Sarge.
00:27:46Come in, Sarge.
00:27:47Sarge.
00:27:50Now, just my flipping luck.
00:27:52Now, the radio's gone on the blink.
00:27:53I can't even tell Peg where we're going.
00:27:55Please, hurry.
00:27:56I'm doing 50 now, mate.
00:27:59Aren't we anywhere near it yet?
00:28:00We're not far now.
00:28:01You've been saying that for the last 10 miles.
00:28:03Jeremy.
00:28:04It's all right.
00:28:04I'm here, dear.
00:28:05We're all here, dear.
00:28:08About time.
00:28:13Oh, thought it was Charlie.
00:28:16Where's Ted?
00:28:17We can't go.
00:28:18He's got to work tonight.
00:28:20Oh, what a shame.
00:28:22Oh, never mind.
00:28:22Come inside and have a drink while I'm waiting for Charlie.
00:28:34Where do you take?
00:28:34We're going the wrong way.
00:28:35He said turn in and go straight up to the front.
00:28:37Oh, yes.
00:28:38But on the board, it said all deliveries round the back.
00:28:48Here we are, then.
00:28:50It's all right.
00:28:51It was a false alarm.
00:28:52It was a what?
00:28:53We can go home now.
00:28:55Oh, yes.
00:28:56She said, would you mind hurrying?
00:28:57She's got something in the oven.
00:28:59You can say that again.
00:29:19He's late, isn't he?
00:29:20Charlie.
00:29:22Charlie.
00:29:23Oh, yes.
00:29:25I suppose she is a little bit.
00:29:27Good thing.
00:29:29Time for another little drinky.
00:29:31Here.
00:29:44Right, here we are.
00:29:46Now, out of here, please.
00:29:47Oh, thank you.
00:29:47How much do I owe you?
00:29:49My pockets on the clock.
00:29:50Oh, it can't hurt me.
00:29:51What is it, dear?
00:29:52Oh, no.
00:29:54Don't tell me.
00:30:04Left at the next crossroad.
00:30:05I know.
00:30:06I've been here before, remember?
00:30:09Trust me to get one that doesn't know whether it's coming or going.
00:30:13I wonder what it's like to have a baby.
00:30:15Why don't you ask her?
00:30:17All right.
00:30:19Excuse me, miss.
00:30:21I...
00:30:22Miss.
00:30:29Well, no, I suppose we might as well go back home, then.
00:30:32Just a minute.
00:30:33Are you absolutely certain she is going to have a baby?
00:30:36Oh, yes.
00:30:37This isn't really very surprising, you know, because it isn't due till next week.
00:30:41If you think I'm galloping backwards and forwards till next week, you're raving mad.
00:31:03Stop!
00:31:04Stop the pan!
00:31:08Help!
00:31:09Matt!
00:31:10Matt!
00:31:17What does he want a nurse for?
00:31:19I don't know.
00:31:21But if it's what I think it is, you better start a fire, put the kettle on, and keep the
00:31:25meat to going.
00:31:26Oh.
00:31:27Yes, of course.
00:31:29No.
00:31:31There's only one word for him.
00:31:34Stinker.
00:31:36Right?
00:31:37Right.
00:31:40But I'm not going to take any more of it.
00:31:43I'm finished.
00:31:46Do you know what I'm going to do when he comes home?
00:31:51No?
00:31:53Well, I'll tell you.
00:31:55I'm just not going to do anything at all.
00:32:01That's what I'm going to do.
00:32:29Yes, yes.
00:32:30Is it? Not yet.
00:32:35This waiting is awful. I can't stand any more of this.
00:32:38What are you getting into such a state for? Anybody think it was yours?
00:33:07Who is it?
00:33:12Which one's the father?
00:33:13I am. He is.
00:33:14Well, you've got a fine baby boy.
00:33:16Well done. Congratulations.
00:33:18Well done. Congratulations.
00:33:20Not me. Him.
00:33:21And you too.
00:33:22Sit down, mate. Go on, have a rest.
00:33:23Oh, no, no. I feel wonderful. I feel fine.
00:33:26You haven't seen the meter.
00:33:32Oh, no.
00:33:34Nurse, here. Leave the baby.
00:34:00Take the phone.
00:34:05I have a drink.
00:34:06You're getting too many times more.
00:34:10You're getting a cup of coffee.
00:34:13You are getting a cup.
00:34:14I'm getting to the cup.
00:34:15I'm getting to the dinner here.
00:34:15Your eating.
00:34:16Yes, sir.
00:34:28Hey? You awake?
00:34:31Get out!
00:34:33Oh. Well, I'm sorry I didn't get back, but I was out in the cab with old Pipot, you see,
00:34:39and we had a baby.
00:34:53Beg? Beg, you in there?
00:35:17Beg?
00:35:22Oh, Peggy, let me in. I want to talk to you.
00:35:28Oh, Peggy, come on.
00:35:34Peggy. Oh, let me in. I want to talk to you about last night.
00:35:43Good morning, Charlie. How are you?
00:35:46Look, love, I know you're mad at me, but it wasn't my fault, honest.
00:35:50Mad at you? Why should I be mad at you?
00:35:52About last night.
00:35:53Oh, what happened last night?
00:35:55Well, you know I didn't get back in time to take you out.
00:35:58Oh, yes, I remember. You had a baby.
00:36:04Yeah. No, it wasn't me. It was this woman in the cab. We were taking these newlyweds to the airport.
00:36:09And they had a baby. Yeah. No, it wasn't them, it was the other couple. We were coming back from
00:36:14the... Oh, blimey, what's the good you don't believe me anyway?
00:36:16Oh, of course I believe you, Charlie. You're not clever enough to think I have an excuse that good.
00:36:22Look, I'm only trying to say I'm sorry. No. I'm the one that should apologise.
00:36:28You? What for?
00:36:29Well, I've been thinking. It's unreasonable of me to sit around here moping all day and expect you to keep
00:36:35on taking me out once a year.
00:36:37Oh, blimey, Peggy. I wouldn't say you've been unreasonable.
00:36:40Yeah, but I would. Having nothing to do, that's the trouble. But you don't have to worry. I'm going to
00:36:48get a job.
00:36:51You're going to what?
00:36:58Don't you think you ought to get down there, darling? Seems to be some trouble.
00:37:03Never mind about that. What do you mean you're going to get a job?
00:37:06Just what I say. I'm going out to work.
00:37:08Oh, no, you're not. Get a job.
00:37:11I've never heard anything so ridiculous in my life. Get a job. What can you do?
00:37:15Well, I may not be able to do anything for you anymore, but there's plenty I can do for someone
00:37:19else.
00:37:19All right, then. Go on, go and get yourself a job, if you can. See if I care.
00:37:23I'm going to.
00:37:24Peg, Peg, hey, Peggy, look, I was only kidding. Peggy, hey!
00:37:30Oh, blimey, what's going on out there?
00:37:34Where are my flipping shoes?
00:37:36He's our union representative.
00:37:38All right, all right. One at a time, please.
00:37:42Shut up!
00:37:44That's better. Got a peace conference, you know.
00:37:47Now, come on, let's get this thing sorted out.
00:37:49There's nothing to sort out. She's not taking this cab out, and that's that.
00:37:55All right, all right. Come on, now. What's all her out about?
00:37:57Hello, Flo. Long time no see. How are you?
00:38:00I'm all right, thanks, Mr. Hawkins. But Smiley isn't. He's had to go to hospital.
00:38:04Oh, I'm sorry about that. Wonder why he didn't show up yesterday.
00:38:07He'll be all right. Nothing could kill him.
00:38:09Anyhow, I thought I'd come and take his cab out for you.
00:38:12No sense letting it stand idle when we can do with the money.
00:38:14Who's objecting?
00:38:15I am. It's against union rules.
00:38:18Union rules?
00:38:19She's taking a man's job. And what's more, she's upsetting our working conditions.
00:38:23How?
00:38:23Well, in the first place, we'd all have to watch our language. And in the second place, there's only one
00:38:29WC here.
00:38:29Well, in the first place, I've forgotten more language than you ever knew. And in the second place, I don't
00:38:34want to go in the first place.
00:38:36Good for you, Flo. How about that, Albright?
00:38:39Very funny, I'm sure. But I'm warning you, if she takes this cab out, I'm calling all the boys out.
00:38:44Forget it. I don't want to cause you any trouble.
00:38:46I'm sorry, Flo, but what can I do? Anyway, don't worry about it. I'll look after you and Smiley.
00:38:49Thanks.
00:38:50Come on, kid. Get on with it.
00:38:51All right, then. Come on, everybody. Let's get these cabs out on the road.
00:38:55All right, Mr. Albright?
00:38:56No. I like a good fight. You gave him much too easily.
00:38:59I bet you say that to all the girls.
00:39:05Mrs. Simms? Will you come up a minute? I'd like to talk to you about a job.
00:39:12That's roughly it.
00:39:14Are you serious, Mrs. Hawkins?
00:39:15Yeah, of course I am. It's about time we showed these men a thing or two.
00:39:19Men? They're only good for one thing. They wouldn't be much good at that without us.
00:39:24What do you say, then? Mr. Deal?
00:39:26Well, I could do with the work. It's not going to be easy, you know. It'll take a few weeks.
00:39:31The sooner we get started, the better.
00:39:33What's Mr. Hawkins going to say?
00:39:35Nothing. Because we're not going to tell him.
00:39:38Oh, it's going to be a surprise for him, eh?
00:39:40One hell of a surprise, Mrs. Simms.
00:40:13I'll take 15.
00:40:43I'll take 15.
00:40:44I'll take 15.
00:40:45I'll take 15.
00:40:59Come on.
00:41:20Come on.
00:41:51Come on.
00:41:52May I see your legs, please?
00:41:55Right.
00:41:56You've got the job.
00:41:57Next, please.
00:42:08You've got the job.
00:42:09You've got the job.
00:42:15Welcome to his return, Waterloo, mate.
00:42:17No, shut up. Come in.
00:42:20Morning, Charlie.
00:42:22Sit down.
00:42:23Have a bit of lunch.
00:42:25I've got a cold kipper, cold chop, some mouldy cheese, some stale bread, and some cold mashed potato with lumps
00:42:31in.
00:42:32Oh, thank you. I'm not hungry now.
00:42:37I'll bet you'll be glad when old Peg packs this job in.
00:42:39Don't you believe it. I'm doing very well without her, don't you worry.
00:42:43Well, it looks like it.
00:42:45I haven't had a decent dinner for two solid months.
00:42:48She goes out seven o'clock in the morning.
00:42:49I never know what time she's coming back.
00:42:51I hardly see her at all these days.
00:42:53What's she doing?
00:42:54How should I know?
00:42:55Haven't she even asked her?
00:42:56Certainly not.
00:42:58If she doesn't want to tell me, I'm certainly not going to ask her, mate.
00:43:01I just couldn't care less, that's all.
00:43:03Oh, Charlie, please.
00:43:05That's no way to handle women.
00:43:07I'm just talking. What about you and Sally?
00:43:09Well, that's different, isn't it? We're not even married.
00:43:12Anyway, I gave her a bloody good talking, too, and we've reached an understanding.
00:43:16And what's that?
00:43:17I don't know. We're not even talking to each other.
00:43:21Well, there you are, see?
00:43:23No, I am not going to be crawling around begging for information, mate.
00:43:27If she wants to tell me what she's doing, all right, but I am not asking her.
00:43:30I just couldn't care less. I don't want to know.
00:43:39Oh, what is she up to? What is she doing?
00:43:50Well, let me know.
00:43:51Well, let's go.
00:44:23right girls this is it i want you to get out there and grab all the business from under their
00:44:30smug male noses i don't care how you do it within reason just get the fares in your cabs
00:44:40in the back of the cab dear with you in the front any questions well actually darling do you think
00:44:47we really stand a chance i mean there are four more men drivers actually i know but the men haven't
00:44:53got your advantages dear just flash your headlamps at them and anyway this is just the start there'll
00:45:02be more of you on the road just as fast as flo can train them supposing we have a man
00:45:07passenger
00:45:07he tries to start something and use this what's that a starting handle and there's nothing better
00:45:14for stopping something right into your cabs girls
00:45:23well here goes flo i hope i'm doing the right thing you still worried about your old man
00:45:29look you said yourself the only thing he worries about is cabs well you're just giving him a few
00:45:35more to worry about i know but well it's all his money we're using really and you're just giving
00:45:42him a taste of his own medicine if this doesn't make him sit up and take a bit of notice
00:45:47of you
00:45:47nothing will anyway you can't stop now that's right get them off that's more like it right signs on
00:46:12so
00:46:41Oh, I say, you'll never guess what I've just seen.
00:46:44A smashing bit of overtime driving a cab.
00:46:48Get away. I just saw Charlie Claw selling bootlaces.
00:46:51Go on, how much were they?
00:46:52Oh, well, now, have a cup of tea.
00:46:54Oh, thank you.
00:46:54A smashing bit of overtime driving a cab.
00:46:56But it was a brunette, and she was covered all over with legs and things.
00:47:02Don't be filthy.
00:47:03Piepot, please. Birds don't drive cabs.
00:47:06They can't, they haven't got...
00:47:09That's her.
00:47:11Excuse me, this is a cab driver's cafe, isn't it?
00:47:15That's right.
00:47:15Oh, jolly good.
00:47:17Well, well, I'd like...
00:47:19Oh, no, what was it?
00:47:20Oh, yes, a cup of char and a wad.
00:47:23I'm off.
00:47:24What's the matter?
00:47:25I can't afford to let me missus catch me in here.
00:47:27She took me off the buses because of the clippies.
00:47:31Any blue champs free?
00:47:32Oh, yes, I am, darling.
00:47:35I say.
00:47:37Would you mind taking me to the station hotel, please, and take your time?
00:47:40Oh, I'd love to.
00:47:42Excuse me, interfering, but we have a little system here.
00:47:45First in, first out.
00:47:46Then was in first, so it's fair.
00:47:48Oh, dear.
00:47:50I'm terribly sorry, darling, but it looks as if you won't be able to have me.
00:47:55Don't you believe it, my dear?
00:47:56I have a system, too.
00:47:57Ladies first.
00:47:59After you.
00:48:06All right, all right.
00:48:08It's no good yelling at me.
00:48:09I can't stop them, can I?
00:48:11There must be a couple of dozen of them on the road, at least.
00:48:13It's not fair.
00:48:14Yeah, and you should see the stuff that's driving them.
00:48:16Don't be disgusting.
00:48:18What chance do we stand against that?
00:48:19It's up to you to do something.
00:48:21What do you expect me to do about it?
00:48:23Dress you all up in tight skirts and falsies?
00:48:25Don't miss a comma.
00:48:27Here's Charlie.
00:48:29Let's go and see what he's got to say.
00:48:31No, look, Charlie, you've got to do something.
00:48:33All these lads are full of complaints.
00:48:34It's about these other cats.
00:48:35All right, all right.
00:48:36I know all about it, and I don't like it any more than you do.
00:48:38I've just seen one of them.
00:48:39What's she look like, Charlie?
00:48:40She got it, Mark.
00:48:41Who cares what she looks like?
00:48:42Well, I reckon her customers will.
00:48:44Yes.
00:48:45Let's go in the canteen and talk about it.
00:48:47Come on.
00:48:53Where did that come from?
00:48:54I put it there.
00:48:55I thought it might cheer the place up a bit.
00:49:01A bit for columnist.
00:49:03She's got a bit of a cheek putting that up there.
00:49:05Where'd you get it?
00:49:05Someone gave it to me.
00:49:07It sounds like a marvelous service to me.
00:49:09Hey, listen to this.
00:49:10Listen.
00:49:10Glam cabs.
00:49:12The modern, efficient way to travel.
00:49:14No drafty old taxis.
00:49:15Ring 32323 for prompt and pleasant service.
00:49:18No waiting, no tipping.
00:49:21No tipping?
00:49:22God!
00:49:23It looks like you've got some real competition there.
00:49:27Hey, look at this bit, though.
00:49:29Our drivers are there to please.
00:49:31Just ask for what you want.
00:49:34Really?
00:49:35Cool.
00:49:37What was that number again?
00:49:38Oh, shut up.
00:49:40You lot stay here.
00:49:41I'm going to find out who's behind this.
00:49:4432 Dawson Street.
00:49:46Thank you, sir.
00:49:47Got that flow?
00:49:48Yep.
00:49:50Calling Anthea.
00:49:51Calling Anthea.
00:49:53Anthea here.
00:49:54Go to 32 Dawson Street and pick up a gentleman.
00:49:58All right?
00:49:59Of course, darling.
00:50:00I've been picking up gentlemen since I was 17.
00:50:04If the orders keep coming in at this rate, we're going to need twice the number of cars.
00:50:11Glam cabs at your service.
00:50:14Just a minute.
00:50:16Who's that?
00:50:17Uh, this is the switchboard here.
00:50:20Can I help you?
00:50:21Yes, this is Charlie Hawkins, Speedy Cab Company.
00:50:24I'd like to have a word with your boss.
00:50:26Oh, uh, just a minute, Mr. Hawkins.
00:50:28I'll put you through.
00:50:35Good morning, Mr. Hawkins.
00:50:37Do you require a cab?
00:50:39No, I do not require a cab.
00:50:41Who's that speaking?
00:50:42Mrs. Glam, of course.
00:50:44Oh, yes, of course.
00:50:46Well, Mrs. Glam,
00:50:48it's obvious to me that you don't know much about cab business,
00:50:50so I thought I'd just ring you up,
00:50:52give you a couple of words of friendly advice.
00:50:53I hate to see anybody lose money.
00:50:55Oh, I don't think I'll do that, Mr. Hawkins.
00:50:58Doubting by our business so far today.
00:51:01Yes, well, first day.
00:51:03Flash in the fan, novelty value and all that.
00:51:05But it won't last, you know.
00:51:07You see, there's not enough business for two cab companies in this town, so...
00:51:10I agree, Mr. Hawkins.
00:51:12You're so right.
00:51:14Now, there's a sensible woman.
00:51:16Now, I'll tell you what I am prepared to do, Mrs. Glam.
00:51:19I will buy you up.
00:51:20Oh, that's very sporting of you, Mr. Hawkins.
00:51:23But I think it would be much more to the point
00:51:26if I took over your old business.
00:51:30My old business?
00:51:31Of course, I'd have to scrap a lot of your cabs.
00:51:34And as for your drivers,
00:51:36well, you must admit, most of them are past it.
00:51:39Past it?
00:51:41How dare you?
00:51:42I'll show you if we're past it.
00:51:44You want to warn Mrs. Glam, you can have it.
00:51:52Well, my husband's just declared war.
00:51:55He'll be sorry.
00:51:57Our troops have got much better weapons than his.
00:51:59On this, we just have to close it.
00:52:00Oh, yeah.
00:52:02No, it's not that.
00:52:04Fuck!
00:52:10No, it's not that.
00:52:25I can't fight.
00:52:25I can't see you.
00:52:46A taxi, sir.
00:52:56oh charlie come to bed how do you expect me to sleep with you walking up and down all night
00:53:01sleep you're not supposed to sleep you should be thinking of somewhere to help me beat this
00:53:06glam cab look that surely you're not worried about a lot of silly women of course i'm not
00:53:12worried about a lot of silly women but if they keep pinching our business like this we're gonna
00:53:16need that job of yours things that bad well dear why don't you sell the business while you've got
00:53:24the chance we could get that little cottage have some fun never never i am not going under without
00:53:32a fight why do you have to keep fighting why can't you go and see this mrs glam and make
00:53:39up to her you
00:53:43turn on the old charm eh what a marvelous idea i love ya no no i can just imagine what
00:53:52she's like
00:53:52i've talked to her on the phone i can see her now some hatchet-faced old egg with a moustache
00:53:59a beard even no i am gonna beat him if i have to run at a loss that's it that's
00:54:05it i'll undercut
00:54:12i want a thousand pamphlets like that printed please right away
00:54:18shan't be able to do it right away i'm afraid sir i've got a couple of thousand of these to
00:54:23do first
00:54:28never mind
00:54:31i've got it charlie look what's that plastic gas mask holders a thousand of them i got them cheap
00:54:37what for why don't you get it we give one of these away free with every cab journey of five
00:54:43miles or
00:54:43over plastic gas mask holders that's brilliant all we need now is some plastic gas well it's just an
00:54:52idea that's all very handy you you can put things in them i've got it i've got them that's it
00:55:00that's
00:55:01them all right well done sarge now we're not quite tuned in yet wait a sec what's he trying to
00:55:04get
00:55:05the glam cab wavelength the idea is that we pick up their signals and then get our blokes there first
00:55:10smart bank there's your tea yeah where's my name sorry i don't serve strangers we've got her well
00:55:16trained i see
00:55:21yes oh hello sally why what's happened oh tuning into our radios eh oh don't worry i'll fix that thanks
00:55:32just let me know
00:55:36calling louise calling louise proceed to 20 chester road and pick up party 20 chester road
00:55:44just the road yeah that's right on the outskirts get up to number 20 quick coming one fall coming
00:56:14through sir
00:56:15calling gladys calling gladys got a nice long trip for you go to westford and pick up a party
00:56:19get five wilbur place five wilbur place westford west that's 10 miles away wait a minute plant
00:56:28what's out here driving piggy get him onto him we'll show them calling pine pot calling pine pot
00:56:36uh
00:56:36oh
00:56:36oh
00:56:36oh
00:56:36oh
00:57:05Well, they're jobious, isn't it?
00:57:06Somebody has ticked them off that we're pinching their orders.
00:57:09Yes. Oh, there aren't half some dishonest people about, aren't there?
00:57:13Yeah. Well, what can you expect from a bunch of birds?
00:57:16From now on, we have got to play it rough.
00:57:27Two cups of coffee and two cheese rolls, please.
00:57:31No more, thank you.
00:57:53I'll have another cup of tea, Molly.
00:58:05I'll have another cup of tea, Molly.
00:58:18I'll have another cup of tea.
00:58:27I'll have another cup of tea.
00:59:00I think it's what they call a puncture, darling.
00:59:02Oh, too bad. Good job you hadn't got a fare.
00:59:06You mean it's a good job I had.
00:59:12A dirty old man.
00:59:30Oh, excuse me, sir. Would you like another cab?
00:59:32No, thank you. I'm rather enjoying this one.
00:59:41Oh, dear.
00:59:51Oh, dear.
01:00:00Hey, trouble with these fancy jobs. You can't rely on them. Can I take you somewhere, sir?
01:00:04No, thank you.
01:00:05We can manage.
01:00:31Why, and they're even carrying their own spares. I give him.
01:00:40Hello, Peg. How back, Arlie?
01:00:42Yes. Where's Charlie? Upstairs with Ted. Is he mad?
01:00:46Today's just about finished him. Another few weeks like this and he'll be out of business.
01:00:49Yes, I know.
01:00:51Well, you don't seem very happy about it.
01:00:53I'm not. I wish I'd never started this thing.
01:00:57How's he gonna feel when he finds out it's me, his own wife, ruined him?
01:01:02I never thought of that.
01:01:04No.
01:01:06But he's not gonna find out because I'm going to tell him. Now.
01:01:10He won't like it much, Peg.
01:01:11Nor will I.
01:01:13It's got to be done because, well, I've got another little bit of news for him, too.
01:01:26How'd it be if we changed cabs? Got all new ones.
01:01:30It'd be more to the point if we all changed sex.
01:01:32Yeah.
01:01:33Oh, those blooming women.
01:01:35Well, I'm not beating you up, mate.
01:01:36Cab driving is the last male stronghold and I'm gonna defend it to me last penny.
01:01:40Well, that won't be long coming if you go on at this rate.
01:01:45Hello.
01:01:46What's this, then? Home at six? What's that one? Lose your job?
01:01:50No. As a matter of fact, it's what I want to tell you about, Charlie.
01:01:57Yeah, well, uh, if you'll excuse me, I'll, uh, be in a canteen if you want me.
01:02:01All right, Deb. I'll think of something. Don't you worry.
01:02:03Yeah, of course, you know where we went wrong, don't you?
01:02:05We should have put all our cabs out of action before they went on the road.
01:02:12Charlie, there are two things I want to tell you about.
01:02:15They're both gonna come as a bit of a shock, I'm afraid.
01:02:18That's it!
01:02:20Deb! Get all the boys together! I've got it!
01:02:23Oh, show them!
01:02:24Charlie, will you listen to me, please?
01:02:26Yeah, what is it?
01:02:27Well, first of all, about these glam cabs.
01:02:31We don't have to worry about them anymore. By tomorrow morning, I'll have them settled.
01:02:35Yeah, but you don't have to keep fighting them anymore, Charlie.
01:02:38That's what I wanted to tell you about.
01:02:40You don't think I'm just gonna sit back and let them take over?
01:02:43Oh, no. We're gonna raid their yard tonight and put the whole lot out of action.
01:02:46What? You can't do that, Charlie. That's not fair.
01:02:50Not fair? Do you call it fair to have a lot of sturdy-eyed bints driving cabs,
01:02:54pinching our fares by showing their legs and sticking out their big ends?
01:02:58Look, will you just shut up for a moment?
01:03:00Whose side are you on?
01:03:01Deb! What you're gonna do's wrong, Charlie.
01:03:04All right, so it's wrong, Charlie.
01:03:06And I'm a right, Charlie.
01:03:12Oh, the obstinate big-headed idiots!
01:03:18All right. You ask for it, you're gonna get it.
01:03:27Well, lads, that's just about it. Be outside their yard at 5 to 12. And remember, no rough stuff and
01:03:33no real damage. Just enough to put them out of action for a while.
01:03:36Yeah, well, won't the gates be locked?
01:03:37Yeah, but don't worry about it. Ted will be in there to let us in.
01:03:40Well, how will he get in?
01:03:41With a little bit of help from Molly here. There he is.
01:03:45Get fixed up, Ted?
01:03:47I, uh, told Sally all about it. She managed to fix me up with a few things.
01:03:51You ought to see him.
01:03:52I can't wait. Well, come on, Ted, open up. Don't be bashful.
01:03:58You ought to see him.
01:04:01You ought to see him.
01:04:02Well, what about you, that?
01:04:12Uncle Molly is horrible.
01:04:28Hello, boys.
01:04:30Right there.
01:04:34A cup of tea, Molly, please.
01:04:36Oh, my dear, I'm a clumsy old cow.
01:04:39I'm sorry.
01:04:40Look, you'd better come in the back kitchen.
01:04:41I'll get that lot dried off for you.
01:04:42Oh, what a shame.
01:04:43I hope she hasn't ruined her uniform.
01:04:45Poor girl.
01:04:57Come on, get crushed.
01:04:59Walk like a bird.
01:05:01Now, remember, once you get inside, hide yourself until you hear me whistle.
01:05:05What's the matter?
01:05:06You'd know if you had elastic pants on.
01:05:09It's like sitting in a catapult.
01:05:11Well, take off.
01:05:11Go on.
01:05:12Go on!
01:05:21They say they're all the same in the dark.
01:05:22I wouldn't take a chance.
01:05:23Oh, dear.
01:05:51There he is.
01:05:52Just look at him.
01:05:53I'm the big gump.
01:05:54Did you really think we'd fall for that?
01:05:57Oh, dear.
01:05:58Oh, dear.
01:05:59All right, Flo, you know what to do.
01:06:00Oh, not half.
01:06:01I'm sorry if I came.
01:06:07Just a minute, girls.
01:06:08We want to get all those uniforms pressed tonight, so off to the locker room and get out of them.
01:06:15Oh, wait.
01:06:27Come on, dear.
01:06:28Oh, watch it.
01:06:30Whoa, yum!
01:06:45Come on. Off with them, quick as you can.
01:06:53Come on, dear. Hurry up.
01:07:03Darling, darling, this thing's killing me. Could you unhook it for me?
01:07:34Come on. Come on.
01:07:48We're all ready for them. Good. Shouldn't be long now.
01:07:52That sounds like them. Quick, come inside.
01:08:10Come on. This way. Come on, that way.
01:08:14Come on, this way. Come on. That way.
01:08:16Hey, turn it off.
01:08:20Come on.
01:08:25Come on, come on.
01:08:26Come on, come on. Get out of here.
01:08:29Turn it off.
01:08:31Come on, quick. Quick, get out of here.
01:08:40There must be some other way.
01:08:42No, mate. We're licked. It's the only thing to do.
01:08:44Like we used to say in the army, if you can't beat them, join them.
01:08:48It would have been all right last night, you know, if some rotten so-and-so hadn't tipped them off.
01:08:51There's no good worrying about that now. I've got to do it. I've got to go and see this Mrs.
01:08:55Glam and arrange a merger.
01:09:02Hang on. I've seen that face before.
01:09:08So they've got you working for them, have they? Where's the boss, Flo?
01:09:12In the office, over there.
01:09:16Fine, then. I'll drop by this evening and tell you how things are.
01:09:20Sally! So that's how they found out about last night.
01:09:23You viper in the bosom, you.
01:09:25Oh, no, it's ugly. What, just me?
01:09:27Charlie?
01:09:28Don't you, Charlie, me. As far as I can assume, you can make out two bosoms.
01:09:31Now, Charlie, don't go there. Come on.
01:09:33Come on.
01:09:39You!
01:09:41I...
01:09:42So that's it.
01:09:43God blammy, what a mug I've been!
01:09:46Charlie, please. I know what you're thinking.
01:09:49Good. Then it saves me telling you, doesn't it?
01:09:51Mrs. Glam!
01:10:04This is ridiculous you're having to sleep here.
01:10:07Why won't you come up to my place? We've got a spare room.
01:10:10Oh, thanks all the same, Sal, but it's handy here, and Charlie knows where to find me when he wants
01:10:16me.
01:10:16If he wants you. It's been a month now.
01:10:20Three weeks. Four days.
01:10:22Well, I hope you haven't been trying to phone him again. It's up to him to do the asking.
01:10:26He closed the door on you.
01:10:28It was my fault, though. How is he?
01:10:31Well, how should I know?
01:10:33Well, I thought you might have seen Ted.
01:10:36No, I haven't. Not since that day.
01:10:39Funny how I miss him, though. Pink-headed little munch.
01:10:42Oh, no. I feel the same about Charlie. The opposite of all.
01:10:48Well, they're not worth crying over. And you've got a business to run.
01:10:52It's Friday, and you've got to be at the bank at 10.30 as usual.
01:11:05That's right.
01:11:06One, two, three, four, two.
01:11:13Oh, my God.
01:11:36Charlie, where the hell have you been all night?
01:11:39Seeing my friend Eilf.
01:11:42Why?
01:11:42Well, there's been murders going on here.
01:11:44I mean, half the chaps want to quit because there isn't enough work.
01:11:47Let him.
01:11:49Look, it's all these bills, too.
01:11:51Send them back.
01:11:53Oh, Charlie.
01:11:55You can't go on drinking like this.
01:11:57Go on, I.
01:11:58See?
01:11:59All right.
01:11:59Well, let's go.
01:12:20I've got to go on.
01:12:26Well, let's go.
01:12:28Hey, what do you think?
01:12:30Now let them have it, sir.
01:12:38If this is a hold-up, where are we going?
01:12:41I do find out. Just follow directions.
01:12:44That's all left at the end, dear.
01:12:45Into Dale Road, you mean. Turn left into Dale Road.
01:12:50Yeah. Now shut up, will you?
01:12:52Hardly worth your bothering about. There's only £800 in those cash bags.
01:12:56Will you switch that bloomin' thing off, Charles?
01:12:57No, don't. That's Peg's voice.
01:12:59Look, just keep quiet and drive. Unless you want an extra hole in your end.
01:13:03Big hero, you've got the cash. Why not let me and Mrs. Hawkins go?
01:13:07You can go run the police.
01:13:08Sully.
01:13:10We've got other plans for you two.
01:13:12That's Peg and Sal, they're in danger. That's a hold-up.
01:13:15Shut up a minute. Let's listen. Left at the junction now.
01:13:18Turn left at the next junction. That takes us into Rigby Road.
01:13:23We'll be going east.
01:13:25What is this? What's the running commentary for all the time, eh?
01:13:29Oh, wait a minute.
01:13:30You...
01:13:31This is the hold-up. Grand club number 19. Call the police.
01:13:41It's gone. I've lost her.
01:13:43Well, don't just sit there. Get her again!
01:13:45Wait a minute. Is there something?
01:13:49Hello? This is Pinepot and I've got a leak in my sump.
01:13:54You'll have one in your head if you don't get off this broom in here.
01:13:57Hello? Call in all speedy cabs. All speedy cabs. Now listen and listen good.
01:14:03Is there anybody near the east end of Rigby Road? Over.
01:14:07I'm not far from it, Governor.
01:14:08Then, good lad. I want you to go to the east end of Rigby Road and block it. Understand?
01:14:13Yeah, but, Mr Hawkins, I've got a couple of smooches in the back and they asked me to take me
01:14:17time.
01:14:18Oh, dammit, they won't know the difference. Go on, get cracking. I'll get the police.
01:14:29You damn fool, Jerry. Use your own. Use your own.
01:14:34Turn around quick.
01:14:36Hello? Hello, Mr Hawkins. It's Len here. They've turned around and they're going back off Rigby Road.
01:14:43They've turned off left.
01:14:44Wentworth Street. Who's that on the station right?
01:14:46Oh, that's Albright.
01:14:47Oh, it would be you. Tell Albright to go to the south end of Wentworth Street and block it.
01:14:51Now, listen out all cabs. Hello, Albright. Hello, Albright. Proceed to the south end of Wentworth Street and block it.
01:14:57No, no, no. That won't stop them at all. Look, they're here. They might turn left up Dawes Road before
01:15:00then.
01:15:01Well, that's what I want them to do. If we can get them to go down doors, turn right into
01:15:04the Aldershot Road, we'll have them out in open country on a road with hardly any turn offs.
01:15:07Ah, but they're here, look. They might turn round and go back up Wentworth Street.
01:15:11Yes. Tell them to follow up and make dead sure he stops them going back up Wentworth.
01:15:16Hello, Lem. Hello, Lem.
01:15:17Now follow up and make sure you stop them going back up Wentworth Street.
01:15:24What the hell's going on? Is everyone nuts in this town? Turn round.
01:15:33Hello, Sarge. I stopped him. He's turned and going back up Wentworth.
01:15:36Right. Follow him. We want to make him turn down Dawes Road.
01:15:39All right, but I don't know what the Union's going to say about all this.
01:15:43The Union.
01:15:44Well, really.
01:15:51What's this it you think he's doing?
01:15:53He's going to ram us. You turn off. Turn off.
01:15:56Hello, Guth. We've done it. He's gone down Dawes.
01:15:59Good boy. Ted, we've got him going now.
01:16:01Right. Till then, I'm all right to follow up. Make sure he doesn't double back.
01:16:05Number 23 to the intersection of Dawes and Aldershot to make him turn left.
01:16:08Hello, 23. Hello, 23. Proceed to the intersection of Dawes and Aldershot.
01:16:12Objective. Make the enemy turn left.
01:16:1416 to cut off possible right turn into Henry Street.
01:16:17Hello, 16. Cut off possible right turn into Henry Street.
01:16:2116.
01:16:21What is 16? Look.
01:16:22There it is. Where was it?
01:16:23There.
01:16:23Oh!
01:16:34Damn these cabs.
01:16:35Where does this road go, eh?
01:16:38Aldershot.
01:16:38Aldershot? We don't want to go that way.
01:16:40We've got no choice, stupid.
01:16:42They're using the cab radios to head us off.
01:16:46We've got to dump this cab fast.
01:16:47They've done it, Governor. He's going south on the Aldershot road.
01:16:50Damn it!
01:16:52Tell them, Albright, and the others to follow up slowly.
01:16:5532 and 16 to cut them off at the top of Snow Hill.
01:17:05Slow up.
01:17:06It's not one of those damn things, Ed.
01:17:08It's all right. Look. There's no body in it.
01:17:10Empty?
01:17:12You said the one to Santa Claus.
01:17:14Pull up in front of it.
01:17:27You've got that's my arm.
01:17:36Here. Cop this.
01:17:47Hey! That's my cab!
01:17:51Oh, what if you're such a fool?
01:17:55I don't understand it. Where have they got to?
01:17:57The boys on Snow Hill should have spotted them coming by now. Unless they turned off into Mill Lane here.
01:18:02Oh, God blimey, I forgot that one. Here, wait a minute.
01:18:06Pinepot was near Mill Lane, but he had his sump trouble. Well, where is he now?
01:18:09I don't know. He hasn't called in since. That big nit! Just when we need him, find him!
01:18:14Come in, Pinepot! Come in, Pinepot! Come on, let's have you!
01:18:17What is going on here? What is the matter? Why doesn't somebody spot him?
01:18:22Why doesn't somebody call in? Looks like we've lost him somehow. Hang on.
01:18:26Give me that. Hello? Charlie calling, Pinepot!
01:18:30Charlie calling, Pinepot! Pinepot, come in!
01:18:36Pinepot, where the hell are you?
01:18:38Here. I go for that. Now, listen carefully, Pinepot.
01:18:42What where exactly is here?
01:18:45Uh, by the door in your office. Right. I want you to get down a...
01:18:53What are you doing back here?
01:18:56Well, one of the glam cab drivers pinched my cab while I was working on it.
01:19:00You great big twit! Those were the crooks!
01:19:03Yeah, well, where was this?
01:19:05Uh, on the auto-shot road, just past Mill Lane.
01:19:08Mill Lane! They must have turned down here, Charlie.
01:19:11Mill Lane, if they've gone down there, mate, we can still stop them,
01:19:14because there's no turning off that road for ten miles, not till they get to Risley.
01:19:17Except this little road here, look, at least to the Heath.
01:19:19Well, that's it! That's it, Jack!
01:19:21If we can drive them down that road onto the Heath, mate, we've got Sarge.
01:19:24Get some of the boys to go to the Risley End of Mill Lane and let them off.
01:19:27The rest can move in from here, right?
01:19:29Check.
01:19:30Come on, you and I come in from the other side of the Heath.
01:19:32Come on, Mick!
01:19:48Look out for stolen taxi, believed proceeding in direction of Aldershot.
01:19:53Over and out.
01:19:54Okay. Let's go.
01:20:09Mill Lane, you said this was?
01:20:11Yes.
01:20:12Ah.
01:20:13It leads to Risley.
01:20:15Turn right there and we're on the main road to London, Punchy.
01:20:17You reckon we're clear now, then?
01:20:19Yeah, of course.
01:20:19Not even looking for this old cab, are they?
01:20:22No, nothing to stop us now, mate.
01:20:26Come on, Mick! You're all crazy!
01:20:34I don't believe it.
01:20:37There's blooming thousands of them.
01:20:39The ones behind are still coming.
01:20:56You've caught them, Mr Hawkins.
01:20:57They've taken the Heath Road.
01:20:58All right!
01:20:59Sarge, tell them to follow up on that side of the Heath
01:21:02and get the rest to follow me in from this side, right?
01:21:04Check. Over and out.
01:21:05Check.
01:21:06We've got them, mate! We've got them!
01:21:14Hey, what's this bug think he's doing?
01:21:16Not again.
01:21:20One, two, three, four.
01:21:22Can't be.
01:21:27Hello, Charlie. Hello, Charlie.
01:21:29Enemy reported approaching the Heath.
01:21:31Enemy approaching the Heath.
01:21:32Charge, I love you!
01:21:35Charge, I love you!
01:22:01Nine, two, three, four, five, five.
01:22:02Three, four, five, five.
01:22:12Well, now, there's five of the boys behind us, Charlie.
01:22:15Six!
01:22:16Lovely!
01:22:27That one's in the face!
01:22:28Three, two, six.
01:22:29There's five of the boys behind us, Charlie.
01:22:29Six.
01:22:30You've got five of the boys behind us, Charlie.
01:22:44Now listen, you lot, and listen good.
01:22:47Fan out across the heat and move in.
01:22:49Fan out and move in.
01:23:04That's it. Now stay nice and tight. Move in.
01:23:28We got him now. He's trapped.
01:23:38Hey, stop, Mr. Horowitz. Hey, hold on. Hold on.
01:23:41Come out of yourself.
01:23:54I got him.
01:23:55Come on.
01:23:56Come on. Get his hand.
01:23:57Come on. Break it up. Come on.
01:23:59Come on.
01:24:01Got him?
01:24:04Hey.
01:24:05What is it? What have they done to her?
01:24:07It's all right. She's only fainted.
01:24:10What do you mean, only fainted?
01:24:11We've got to get her to a doctor.
01:24:12She's been to a doctor, Charlie.
01:24:15It's not unusual for someone in her condition to faint, you know.
01:24:18In her condition.
01:24:20In her condition.
01:24:25Might as well be getting home.
01:24:55Yeah, I can just see it there.
01:24:57written up on the old board marvellous charles ogins and sun tabs for
01:25:04here props you're up hey what's coming wait a minute it's point pot he's coming straight for us
01:25:10he's gonna hit you ah got you you crooks all right come out i say what will you think of
01:25:29me
01:25:32he kills me give me the mic look at this
01:25:41ah what's the use call me a cab right
01:25:54show me a minute cab cab
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