- 1 day ago
First broadcast 6th March 1978.
Hazell is hired to follow a man who is in lodgings.
Nicholas Ball - James Hazell
Barbara Young - Dot Wilmington
Maggie Riley - Maureen
Pat Heywood - Mrs. Bradley
George Waring - Mr. Norman
Roger Sloman - George Bradley
Gwen Taylor - Mrs. Ford
Eamon Boland - Det. Con. Hammond
Michael Sheard - Det. Con. Finch
Sam Dale - Mr. Arnold
Martin Neil - Mr. Doddimead
Hazell is hired to follow a man who is in lodgings.
Nicholas Ball - James Hazell
Barbara Young - Dot Wilmington
Maggie Riley - Maureen
Pat Heywood - Mrs. Bradley
George Waring - Mr. Norman
Roger Sloman - George Bradley
Gwen Taylor - Mrs. Ford
Eamon Boland - Det. Con. Hammond
Michael Sheard - Det. Con. Finch
Sam Dale - Mr. Arnold
Martin Neil - Mr. Doddimead
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00.
00:00.
00:01.
00:01.
00:33The weekend had been a real knockout, but the trouble with a deeply religious upbringing, such as I very nearly
00:40had, is that it leaves you with a certain knowledge that what you have today, you will inevitably pay for
00:44tomorrow. Had I but known it, that great debt collector in the sky was about to slap on a penalty
00:50clause.
00:59You've had a lovely weekend, I just know you have.
01:01You wouldn't have the faintest idea how I spent my weekends, would you?
01:04True, very true.
01:05Not a clue.
01:07Well, let's have a guess.
01:09Saturday afternoon, stroll down to Chelsea, beat up a few hundred football supporters.
01:14Sunday morning, stay in bed, eat the newspapers.
01:17Sunday night, a bit peckish, desecrate a grave.
01:20You don't like me, do you?
01:21In a word, I hate the sight of you.
01:23That's two words.
01:23I'll give you another one, piss off.
01:25Sweet.
01:27Not to you she isn't.
01:29Besides which, you've got a visitor.
01:31A client?
01:31I imagine so.
01:33Did you say what it's about?
01:34I didn't ask, sorry.
01:35No, no.
01:37I'm not expecting anyone.
01:38Neither was Trotsky.
01:39He's been waiting since nine o'clock.
01:42Why didn't you say so before?
01:43I didn't want to miss the floor show.
01:45Bye, sweetie.
01:51I'm so sorry, Mr. Arnold.
01:54Mr. Arnold.
01:54We didn't have an appointment, did we?
01:56No, no.
01:56I just popped in on the off chance, as a matter of fact.
01:59I was going to leave a note and come back, actually, but when I told the young lady downstairs
02:03the nature of my business, she was quite insistent you want me to wait.
02:06So I took the liberty of it.
02:09I should imagine your line of business must keep you fully occupied, Mr. Hazel.
02:13I mustn't grumble, Mr. Arnold, mustn't grumble.
02:14I should think it's quite fascinating.
02:16Crime and detection, that sort of thing.
02:18Another day, another dollar.
02:19Quite a few dollars, I expect.
02:21Well, a job well done, as they say, Mr. Arnold.
02:23Anyway, I'm glad we managed to catch up with you at last.
02:26Catch up with me?
02:26According to our records, Mr. Hazel, you seem to have moved around a little more than somewhat
02:30since leaving the Metropolitan Police Force.
02:32Oh, yeah?
02:33We have written to you at various addresses, of course.
02:36Excuse my ignorance, Mr. Arnold, but who's this, uh, we you keep on about?
02:40The Inland Revenue Department, Mr. Hazel.
02:42Is that a fact, Mr. Arnold?
02:44What I should like to do is run through a few points in relation to your returns for
02:47years ending April 74, 75 and 76.
02:51You did say that you, uh, told the young lady downstairs the nature of your business?
02:56Didn't she say?
02:57Seems to have slipped her memory.
02:58Silly bit.
02:59Billy.
03:00Well, contrary to popular belief, we haven't sunk quite so low as gaining entry under false pretenses.
03:05Ha ha.
03:06Ha ha.
03:06There would also appear to be the question of some outstanding liability.
03:09Now, you are no doubt aware, Mr. Hazel, that unless payment is made within the statutory
03:13period, now interest is liable to be charged.
03:15And according to our records, it would regrettably appear that you have an outstanding liability
03:19of some...
03:21I'm inclined to exaggerate the extent of my religious upbringing.
03:24Apart from all the stuff the Sunday School teacher gave us about paying tomorrow for what
03:28you get today, there was also this thing about suffer little children.
03:31And, lady, wherever you are, I'm suffering.
03:34Believe me, I'm suffering.
03:43And there's your receipt.
03:46Never a very pleasant business, I know, Mr. Hazel.
03:48No worse than having a lung removed, Mr. Arnold.
03:50And you'll let me have the answers to those other few points as soon as you can?
03:53I will.
03:54I will.
03:55It is, of course, to your own advantage.
03:58Yeah, I know.
03:59You're very kind.
04:00I'll give you a tinkle, then.
04:02Just a little one, eh?
04:06Under the circumstances, there was only one thing to do.
04:08Panic.
04:09And I tried.
04:10Believe me, I tried.
04:12Unfortunately, I just didn't have the strength.
04:16Don't get up.
04:16I would do, but I can't seem to find my legs.
04:19Right.
04:20Well, I'll skip the business and get straight down to the niceties.
04:22You owe me three weeks' rent, plus phone, plus electricity.
04:25I don't believe it.
04:26Well, you may live in toy town, Noddy, but I'm out here with a nitty-gritty.
04:29Three weeks.
04:30I was going to give it to your dot straight up.
04:32But?
04:33But I just frittered it all away on a tax band.
04:35I warned you, didn't I?
04:37I've just been worked over by a 14-year-old butcher.
04:39And he didn't raise a finger.
04:41Yes, yes, yes.
04:43Now, listen.
04:44We've got an arrangement.
04:45You and me.
04:48How can you hit a man when he's down, dog?
04:50I take lessons.
04:51Tell you what.
04:52I'll work it off on me next job.
04:54You take the fee, I'll take the fag money.
04:56I can't say fairer than that now, can I?
04:57You're a pain in the neck.
05:00But strangely lovable.
05:01Right.
05:02Well, I do have a job for you, as it so happens.
05:04It came in this morning.
05:05All right.
05:06Name?
05:06George Bradley.
05:07Bradley.
05:08What's the problem?
05:09He wouldn't say.
05:10Something to do with his mother.
05:11Give us a number and I'll arrange a meet.
05:12I've already done it.
05:14You're meeting them at half-past two this afternoon.
05:16And having spent five minutes on the phone with Mr. Bradley,
05:19I can safely promise you, you'll be bored out of your pointed little skull.
05:24You've teed me up, you naughty girl.
05:27Didn't I?
05:27Where do I find him?
05:29Croydon.
05:30Croydon?
05:30You've heard of it, I suppose.
05:32Of course I've heard of it.
05:33It's just out of Iceland, isn't it?
05:34So take your party.
05:37Croydon.
05:37Do me a favor, dog.
05:39How long's it gonna take me to slip out of Croydon?
05:41This time of day?
05:42Half an hour at the most.
05:45Three hours to get to America.
05:47Two and a half to get to Croydon.
05:49Still, that's one of the joys of being your modern metropolitan man, isn't it?
05:53You coin yourself into buying a motor that does a ton,
05:55and then spend countless happy hours on the Queen's Eyeway with a load of other stater symbols.
05:59All doing the passable imitation of a row of bees with some vitus darts.
06:03Never mind a cat.
06:04Bring back the horse.
06:05That's what I say.
06:06No more blackmail from Abdul Ben Five Star.
06:09And think what it'll do for the gardens.
06:26Well, the client will want to know, however, is how come you're half an hour late?
06:30We were expecting you 40 minutes ago.
06:33I'm very sorry.
06:34The traffic was diabolical.
06:36It always seems worse on a Monday.
06:38Mondays and Fridays, yeah.
06:39I've noticed.
06:40You wouldn't mind, would you, if we actually got down to the matter in hand?
06:42Sorry.
06:43As I explained to your employer on the telephone, we shall expect these inquiries to be made as discreetly as
06:48possible.
06:48Discretion comes a lot easier once I know what I'm supposed to be discreet about.
06:51Not to beat about the bush, we are employing you to check up on someone which will entail, I imagine,
06:55following his movements.
06:57All grist to your particular mill, no doubt.
07:00The trouble with my particular mill, Mr. Bradley, is that it isn't very particular.
07:03You don't get on the phone, I don't apply to grist.
07:06Somehow it's as simple as that.
07:07I don't want him followed.
07:08I mean, under the circumstances, George thinks I ought to do something about it.
07:14Mrs. Bradley, when you say you don't want him followed, what my mother means is that the problem is primarily
07:20hers.
07:20That is to say, it affects her welfare most directly.
07:24I am here purely to represent her best interests.
07:27Why else, Georgie Portie?
07:29I mean, look at you.
07:31Okay, Mrs. Bradley, you want me to check up on someone.
07:33You don't like it, but you, and more particularly your son, seem to think it's necessary.
07:38All I need to know now is who and why.
07:41Well, I don't really know where to begin.
07:43Yes, I think perhaps I'd better fill you in, as it were.
07:47As it happens, I wouldn't mind a little word with your son on his own, Mrs. Bradley.
07:50I don't suppose there's a chance of a cup of coffee or something?
07:53Oh, I'm so sorry.
07:55No, no, not at all.
07:55The kettle has boiled.
07:57Would you like another one, George?
07:58No, thank you.
07:59Well, I'll give you to it, then.
08:02Just a couple of ticks.
08:07Nice lady.
08:08A very worried lady.
08:09Well, show me a mother who doesn't worry.
08:11It's very fortunate she's got someone to look after her.
08:13Yeah, I can see you're a very good son.
08:15I think I know a son's duty, if that's what you mean.
08:18Duty?
08:19Not quite what I had in mind.
08:21At the risk of sounding impolite, Mr. Bradley, I'm gonna be impolite.
08:24I think I'd like it if you toddled off back to the depot
08:26and left me to have a nice quiet chat with your mother.
08:28I don't follow.
08:28No, it's me who does a following, but then on paper...
08:30She's not as bright as she was.
08:31People take advantage of her.
08:33She seems bright enough to me.
08:34And what makes you think I'll take advantage?
08:36Not you.
08:37Somebody else.
08:38Which is why you're here.
08:39Yeah.
08:40Well, I've got this feeling that maybe your mother might find it just that little bit easier
08:44if you weren't looking over her shoulder all the time.
08:45I'm her son.
08:47So who keeps saying?
08:48But who needs the reassurance?
08:49Me?
08:49Or her?
08:51Do me a favor, Mr. Bradley.
08:52Let me get on with my job the way I think best.
09:02She'll keep me fully informed, I can assure you.
09:04I shall insist on it, believe me.
09:06That is, if I do the job.
09:07Nice talking to you.
09:19You're it!
09:21You're it!
09:24Ah!
09:27He can't get me!
09:32If you think it's for the best, George
09:34I think so, Mum
09:35Will you be over Sunday?
09:37I shall certainly try
09:38Oh, do try, son
09:39Bring the children
09:40It's only for half an hour
09:43What happens between then and now?
09:45Eh, George?
09:47Not just you, my son
09:49To all of us
09:53George thought it might be best
09:54If we just had a little word on our own
09:56That's right, he did
09:58He worries for me, you know
10:00Since his father died
10:03I mean, I know he seems a bit short at times
10:05But he's really a very sensitive boy
10:07It's just that he doesn't like to show it
10:09Yeah, I can tell
10:14So then
10:17I, um, I lost my husband five years ago
10:20Well, five years ago next April
10:23He left me well provided for
10:25Insurance, nice house, all paid up
10:27So I can't really say that I want for anything
10:31It's just me, you see
10:33I mean, George being the only boy
10:35And having a family of his own
10:36I can't expect to keep him running around here all the time
10:40I mean, he comes when he can
10:42I know he does
10:42It's just he has a life of his own, hasn't he?
10:46I mean, I understand all that
10:48Of course I do
10:50It's just that
10:51Well, suddenly you
10:54You get to feeling so lost
10:57Well, I know all about bingo
10:59And those clubs and that
11:00But he was never great ones
11:02For getting out and about
11:03Meeting people
11:04And
11:06Somehow
11:06Come the time you have to
11:08You
11:09Suddenly find you don't really know how to do it anymore
11:13I bet that makes me sound like a right old moaning mini
11:16I don't think so
11:18What I do think is that maybe you underestimate yourself
11:23Well, I don't know quite how it came into my mind
11:25But
11:25I decided to take a lodger
11:28I mean, give me something to do
11:29You know
11:30A bit of companionship perhaps
11:32And
11:33A nice, respectable, single gentleman
11:35That's what I put in the advert
11:37Not just the money, you understand
11:41Well, that was two years ago
11:43Someone took the room
11:45I won't say his name
11:46And
11:47It all went very well
11:48He was very nice
11:50And
11:51Well, he asked me to go out with him
11:54You know
11:55Short ride in the country
11:56Quiet drink somewhere
11:58We went out a few times after that
12:01There was never anything
12:04Well, you know
12:05He just wanted the companionship
12:08Well, so did I
12:10George didn't like him
12:12He didn't like him right from the start
12:15And
12:15And he
12:16Told me that
12:17Well, he found out that
12:19Well, this man was married
12:22You see
12:23He'd never said anything
12:24He'd always
12:27Well, George put it to him
12:29And
12:29They got very angry
12:31And he went
12:34He's a good boy
12:35He's my George
12:36He worries for me
12:39I didn't try to let the room after that
12:41The idea just sort of frizzled out
12:43Then
12:44One day
12:45There was a knock at the door
12:46And it was Mr Norman
12:48He'd been looking for room in the area
12:50And
12:50The man in the tobacconist
12:52Remembered my advert
12:53And
12:53Suggested he knocked here on the off chance
12:56Well
12:57I suppose I ought to have said no
12:58But
13:00Well, that was four months ago
13:02He pays for the room by the week
13:04But Monday to Friday
13:05He's away on business
13:06And
13:06Sort of representative
13:08So he really only has the room
13:09For the
13:10For the weekends
13:13First
13:13I didn't see much of him
13:14He seemed such a shy man
13:16Then
13:17One Sunday
13:18He asked if he'd be too much trouble
13:20If he'd watch something on the television
13:21You know
13:22A programme about pottery or something
13:24And
13:25Well
13:26We watched it
13:26And
13:27Then we had some tea
13:28And
13:29Well
13:30We just seemed to get on
13:31It was strange really
13:33We just sort of
13:34Talked
13:36It wasn't just that I wanted someone to talk to
13:40It was
13:41Well
13:42Some people you seem to get on with
13:44Right from the start
13:45Yeah
13:46I know what you mean
13:47I know it sounds silly
13:49And I know nothing's been said
13:50But in a way
13:53Well
13:56We're quite fond of each other
13:59And is this Mr. Norman
14:00That you want me to check up on?
14:02He never talks about himself
14:04Not about his work
14:06His family
14:07Nothing
14:08I mean
14:09George tried to find out
14:10You know
14:10Quite nicely
14:11Not pushing it
14:12And
14:12Well he wouldn't budge
14:14He wouldn't say a thing
14:15He
14:16Just makes an excuse
14:17And goes off to his room
14:19I mean
14:20I know he wants to talk to me
14:22I know he wants to tell me things
14:23But
14:24Somehow he just can't
14:27Your son seems to think
14:29That
14:29This man might be trying to take advantage of you
14:31Now
14:32Don't misunderstand me
14:33Mrs. Bradley
14:33But
14:34Just what advantage you'll be talking about
14:36I don't know
14:38I suppose you hear these awful stories
14:40About
14:40Women of my age
14:41Getting married again
14:42And
14:43Signing everything over to their husbands
14:46Everything being what?
14:47Well
14:47In my case
14:48Not very much
14:49This is the house of course
14:50The one two doors away
14:52Went for 22,000
14:54What would happen to the house now?
14:56I mean
14:56If anything should happen to you?
14:58Oh
14:58George
14:59Naturally
15:00Oh yeah
15:00Naturally
15:01Oh
15:02I mean
15:02Whatever happened
15:03I mean
15:03It had always come to George
15:05I mean
15:05Look
15:06I'd sign it over right now
15:08Something to do with a tax or something
15:10I don't know
15:12I keep telling him
15:13I've no intention of getting married again
15:16Of course I haven't
15:17It's
15:18Just that
15:19Well as far as the house is concerned
15:23I suppose it's just that you hear these awful stories
15:26Mrs. Bradley
15:26I mean
15:27Far up here from me to tell you your business
15:30But wouldn't it save a lot of aggravation and a lot of money
15:33If you maybe just let it ride for a bit
15:35Let this Mr. Norman open up when he feels like opening up
15:39Well then
15:40Unless say for the sake of argument that you do get married
15:42No
15:43Just for the sake of argument
15:44Eh
15:45Well all right
15:46I mean you're not a fool
15:47You've got your head screwed on
15:48You just make sure you don't sign anything that you don't want to sign
15:53At the moment he's just a man who rents a room and doesn't say too much
15:56So why don't you just let it ride eh
16:00I want to find out about him
16:03Not because I don't trust him
16:05And not because I think he's got anything to hide
16:06But because I want to show George that he's wrong
16:09That I am capable
16:11That I do have a ride
16:14I don't suppose that makes much sense to someone like you
16:19Someone like me
16:20Oh lady
16:21The world's full of little people too frightened to look into the past
16:24And too scared not to
16:26Any other way and I'm back on the bread line
16:28You see him only at weekends
16:30He comes home Friday just on ten
16:33Always the same time always regular
16:36And he leaves again on Sunday just after five
16:38By car
16:41No no he doesn't use a car
16:46So
16:48You want me to find out what he does
16:50Where he goes
16:51See if there's anything that he should have told you
16:53And maybe he hasn't
16:55This is going to cost you no Mrs. Bradley
16:57Yes well the lady from your agency did explain everything to George
17:01Oh is George playing?
17:04Oh no no I couldn't ask him to do that
17:07No no of course not
17:08Not Georgie
17:30Sunday afternoon I rang the warret with her to confirm that everything was as per usual
17:33Which it was
17:35We also arranged this very elaborate signal for her to let me know when he was about to leave
17:42And for me to let her know I was waiting for him
17:46It's these little touches of mysterioso that make the punter feel his money is well spent
17:52Something the legal profession has reduced to a fine art
18:01Mission to control
18:02Don't worry lady we have lift off
18:24Does he look like a man with a big secret?
18:26No it's just an ordinary fella
18:32Like Mr. Smith
18:33Number 38
18:34Or Crippin
18:35Or Christy
18:40What has he got in that suitcase?
18:45Anyway one thing's for certain next stop Victoria
19:23Ten minutes later he's still down there
19:261815 service to Ramsgate
19:28Relief on platform one
19:32This train will be first stop Chatham
19:35Then Gillingham
19:37Then Gillingham
19:37Raynham
19:37Sittingbourne
19:38Favisham
19:39Whitstable
19:41Chessfield
19:42Herne Bay
19:43Birchington
19:43Westgate
19:47April 19
19:48Thank you so much for watching you
20:12Little bit
20:13The dough is done in the pan, and the lid on the mat process.
20:27The dough is hot and hot, so the dough is cut.
20:32There are 2 rows of fat but it is not too long.
20:32I also put a dough to make a dough.
20:59Another ten minutes and still I haven't seen him.
21:01What the hell is he doing down there?
21:17He's got to be here.
21:19He's got to be.
21:31Hello.
21:32Hello.
21:36Right then, squire.
21:37What's all this about then, eh?
21:39Oh, no.
21:41Oh, persistently importuning for an immoral purpose.
21:45Stroll on.
21:46I mean, do me a favor.
21:48Do I look like an iron?
21:49Oh, Azel, Azel.
21:51If you knew the number of times I've heard that one.
21:55How can I argue?
21:57How many times did I hear the same excuse?
21:59I was looking for this fella.
22:00That's right.
22:01You were there looking for a fella and we were there looking for fellas looking for a fella.
22:05And we found one, didn't we, Azel?
22:07Darling.
22:08So where did he go with this little friend of yours?
22:10He isn't a friend of mine and I don't know where he went.
22:12That's what it's all about.
22:13I keep saying.
22:14Well, until you do find him, you, Mr. Inquiry Agent, are in what is known as the number one frame.
22:19Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:21Yeah.
22:21You, Mr. Inquiry Agent, were well at it.
22:24That's what I say.
22:25Now all you've got to do is convince me that I was wrong.
22:31This is what I used to do for a living.
22:33Truth be known, I wouldn't have done it any different.
22:35Bang to rights, that's what I would have said.
22:37Write it down before you forget it.
22:39Our policemen are only human and they've got a very difficult job to do.
22:44It nearly broke my heart, but I said to him, do me a favor, speak to my old friend Minty.
22:47He's one of your own.
22:48He'll put you straight.
22:49Just put it to him, I said.
22:51Jimmy Hazel, is it in any way conceivable he's an iron?
22:54Well, I spoke to him.
22:55And?
22:56And he's not sure.
22:57What do you mean, he's not sure?
22:59He's not sure.
23:00Oh, I might have known.
23:02God bless Uncle Chuck.
23:04Of course he's sure.
23:05He mentioned someone called Wilmington.
23:08Doc, yeah.
23:08What about her?
23:09He said she's of a similar persuasion.
23:11Oh, what's that got to do with me?
23:13That's what he's not sure about.
23:15Birds of a feather, Hazel, love.
23:16He knows me, I tell you.
23:18He's having fun and games.
23:20Did you ask him about me work?
23:22He says he knows you were an inquiry agent, but he's not sure if you're still at it.
23:26He says he'll check up and let us know.
23:27Meantime, I dangle.
23:29Oh, boy, he must be loving this.
23:32Actually, he was quite taken aback at the circumstances of your arrest.
23:35So, you're an ex-copper, you know the drill.
23:37Section 38, sub-Paira 2, Magistries Court 8, 1952.
23:40She knows, you know.
23:41We'll bail you out for a couple of weeks while we make a few more inquiries.
23:44If we don't get anywhere, we'll drop your line and you can forget it ever happened.
23:48We can't say fairer than that now, can we, Hazel Dolly?
23:51Can I say something?
23:52Please.
23:54I think I love you.
23:56Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear.
23:59Yeah, well, you know what they're like.
24:00Some of these coppers got nothing to do, so they go out and drum up a bit of trade.
24:03A bit of rough trade.
24:04In court with its trousers down.
24:06I was not caught with my trousers down.
24:08Just a figure of speech, dear.
24:10Or should it be a figure of fun?
24:12Now, I've told you, in confidence, Dot, don't you go saying anything.
24:15You're just silly.
24:18Will you please stop that?
24:20I'm sorry.
24:23Do keep the client informed.
24:26Well, partly informed.
24:28And if you do feel the urge coming on, use the one on the downstairs landing.
24:33I've always found it most convenient.
24:36I was sure this Norman character didn't know I had a tail on him, and yet somehow he'd lost me.
24:41And in doing so, this little man, who looked like every other little man, had landed me with a certain
24:45amount of aggravation.
24:47And that I do not like.
24:53Mrs. Bradley.
24:55Morning, Mrs. Bradley.
24:55James Azle.
24:57No.
24:57No, nothing yet.
24:58Well, nothing for you to worry about.
25:00Look, the thing is, I'd like to come over and have another little chat with you.
25:04Yeah, all right.
25:06Maybe I was irritated more than anything about my little run-in with Laurel and Hardy, but somehow he'd cut
25:11the line on me.
25:12I was sure of it.
25:13But how?
25:15And more to the point, why?
25:24I wish we didn't have to do this.
25:26Well, it's up to you, Mrs. Bradley.
25:28All I can say is I think it might help.
25:34This used to be George's room.
25:36Oh, long time ago now.
25:39One night, well, one o'clock in the morning, there's a policeman at the door.
25:43Is this your son, he says?
25:45And there's our George, dressed up like a commando, with his little suitcases Aunt Lil bought him one birthday.
25:51He's climbed out of that window, and there he is, on his way to Cornwall.
25:54Nine years old.
25:57Oh, he's up to something.
25:58He was some sort of adventure.
26:01Funny how they change.
26:03I see him now.
26:05I told that story to Mr. Norman.
26:08Probably tell it to everyone.
26:10It's like he says, you grow older, you get caught up in what you call responsibilities.
26:15What you want to do, what you really want to do, gets pushed further and further away.
26:19Yeah, I suppose it does come down to second best for most of us.
26:22He says, Mr. Norman, it's coming to terms with what we are.
26:29Most of it, it's not even that, it's what we have to be.
26:34It's locked.
26:37Bit of a collector then, is he?
26:40He started bringing them in just after he arrived, you know, every week or so.
26:43One, maybe two.
26:45He brought the cabinet especially.
26:48But they're pretty, aren't they?
26:50He seems to know a lot about things like this.
26:52I think one or two of them are quite valuable.
26:55Yeah, I think so too.
26:57Those are imitations.
27:00They're mice.
27:02Kindler, I think.
27:04That's what you call art.
27:05That's something special.
27:08Oh.
27:11I had a wife who used to go to evening classes.
27:13She tried to educate me and I tried to pretend I was interested.
27:16Maybe she got through more than she thought.
27:19Anyways, if you're above there, right enough.
27:21Well, I'll, um, I'll be downstairs if you want me.
27:25Won't be long.
27:27All of his stuff's in this room, is it?
27:29I mean nowhere else in the house.
27:31No.
27:32What exactly are you looking for?
27:35Oh, nothing special, Mrs. Bradley.
27:36Just trying to get a better picture of him.
27:38The way he lives.
27:38Things he's got.
27:39Maybe he hasn't got.
27:41When you first came here, you, well, you didn't seem very interested.
27:45But now, I don't know, you've changed.
27:48Mrs. Bradley, you're paying me to find out about this man.
27:51Now so far I've found out nothing.
27:53Say the word and we'll call it a day, here and now.
27:56Why don't you start these things?
27:59Couldn't look at him this weekend.
28:01I felt so ashamed.
28:10I felt so ashamed.
28:24Morning.
28:33Well, what have you found out?
28:35I don't know, I'll tell you this, to be quite honest.
28:38Tell me what?
28:40well you know that suitcase of his yes remains human remains we'll never poke
28:47about in his wardrobe you never know you might be able to make up the set
29:01you're keen all of a sudden trying to keep out of trouble doing the expenses not for me you're not
29:06not to the list that long not for you the chucks man oh this has been your lucky week dumbo
29:11hasn't
29:12it that is between me and my maker yes well give him my regards i'm off to bye-byes judge
29:18what do
29:20we know about him well he's got a long white beard and he lives in the sky i mean brother
29:24norman the
29:25weekend man what do we really know about him well he's a traveler he's got this room he collects
29:32porcelain tell me this stop what is it gives you the most aggravation about the way
29:36we live today you do the paperwork i mean you can't so much as lift a finger these days without
29:42it being documented in some government department some office or other i mean look at this lot
29:46i mean once they got a file on you you get a form and then you get another form i
29:50mean i've got a
29:51drawer here full of the stuff you bought and you get a piece of paper to prove it and from
29:55then on
29:56you go on proving it and that piece of paper becomes page one of the encyclopedia humanica
30:00i can remember my old man going out and buying a bureau a bureau there's a point to all this
30:05i know
30:05there is our mr norman nothing no papers no documents no letters no photographs no facts no
30:15memories perhaps he keeps them somewhere else not if he's traveling around all the time no this is
30:22where he hangs his act this is where he keeps his precious collection unless unless the widow
30:27woman's in for a bitter disappointment yeah
30:37the following sunday the same routine and would you believe the same call of nature
30:45only this time i'm right with you baby
31:03even if it does mean taking me life and everything else in me hands
31:33i should have known i wasn't following a man
31:36i was following a trilby and a tweed overcoat change the gear and suddenly i'm a blind man
31:42simple as it
31:56so
31:56so
31:56so
31:56so
31:56so
32:24So, let's go.
32:45An hour later and we're the other side of London.
32:48Put like that, maybe it doesn't sound much, but suddenly I'm thinking in terms of 300 square miles and 9
32:53million people.
32:54And now, if you want to get lost, this isn't such a bad way to do it.
33:17So, we know how and we know where.
33:21Tomorrow, maybe, we start to find out why.
33:45And now, if you want to get lost, this isn't such a bad way.
33:53The worst thing, the difficult thing, is how to get through the door.
33:56This is where Jimbo's years of experience come in very, very Andy.
34:00Just watch the way I ease myself in.
34:03Oh, I'm pleased to see you. Come on, come on in.
34:10I don't know what's wrong with a rotten thing. Halfway through the cycle and that's it. Wallop finished. I'm sick
34:15of the sight of it, I can tell you. Anyway, I leave you to have a look at it while
34:18I...
34:19No disrespect to all you sons of toil, but how is it I'm never taken for a member of the
34:24ruling classes?
34:26I have this recurring dream where I'm kneeling down before Her Majesty, having proved me worth.
34:31And as she puts the sword on me shoulder, she says, Arise, Sir James. But before you do, have a
34:36go at fixing the carpet.
34:38You caught me on the hop. Usually when they're promised ten o'clock, it's gone twelve, if then.
34:42I'm very sorry, Mrs. Norman. There's been a mistake.
34:45No, it's Ford. Mrs. Ford. What do you mean, mistake?
34:48I mean, I'm not your friendly local repairman.
34:51What are you doing in my kitchen, then?
34:53Well, the thing is, Mrs. Ford, I represent a firm of solicitors and we're trying to trace a Mr. Norman.
34:59Something to its benefit, I might add, and we were given this address.
35:02There's no Mr. Norman here.
35:04You're quite sure?
35:05Of course I'm sure.
35:07Yeah, well, looks like we've got it wrong, then.
35:10But you think you have?
35:11Look, do you mind? Only I've got a friend coming round any minute now to go through our Italian.
35:15Oh, yeah.
35:16We're studying. Night classes.
35:19Oh, very nice.
35:20So, if you don't mind.
35:22Yeah.
35:23Well, I'm very sorry, Mrs. Ford. Really, I am.
35:27Then again, you see, I'm just a fellow that has to go around knocking on doors upsetting people.
35:30No, I'm not upset.
35:31All the same. I'm sorry.
35:33Well, you can tell them there's just us and Mr. Whitney.
35:34He lodges here.
35:36Come to think of it, his name is Norman, but that's his Christian name, so that's not much
35:39use to you, is it?
35:40No, not much.
35:42I can't think of where they got your address from.
35:44Mystery to me how some of these so-called executives earn their money.
35:48Anyway, I'd better start knocking on a few more doors, upset a few more people, I shouldn't wonder.
35:53Oh, look.
35:54If it's that bad, why don't you give them a ring?
35:56Check the address or something.
35:58I was hoping you'd say that.
35:59Yeah?
36:00You wouldn't know it.
36:01Go on.
36:02Help yourself.
36:08Mr. Whitney, is that the young fellow who works over at Moore's Place?
36:12Plays football, I seem to remember.
36:14Oh, Mr. Whitney played football.
36:15That's a laugh.
36:16He's about 50 for a start.
36:19He works in the bank on Warmly Street.
36:21Hello, love.
36:22It's Jimmy.
36:23Look, do me a favour.
36:24Check on the address of this Mr. Norman, will you?
36:26Ciao.
36:27One day, Jess.
36:30My ever-loving husband.
36:32Pleased to meet you, Mr. Ford.
36:33Not much of him, is it?
36:34You haven't seen him.
36:36He's golf-mad.
36:38When he's not playing, he's lying flat on his back reliving it.
36:41Yeah, I hear it's that sort of game.
36:43You're not daft enough to play, then?
36:45They tried to join this club once, but they turned me down because I wasn't Jewish.
36:49Oakley Road.
36:51Okay.
36:52Tom.
36:54This is your address over given.
36:56No, not here.
36:57Has he come into money or something, this fellow?
36:59Could be.
37:00Don't mind me asking, Mrs. Ford, but what's it like having a lodger in the house?
37:04Depends who you get. Why?
37:05My sister's been going on about it.
37:07Make a few extra bobs, she thinks.
37:08Keep telling her, you've got to be careful.
37:09Could let yourself in for a lot of aggravation.
37:11I've been very lucky.
37:12As I say, it depends who you get.
37:14You and Mr. Whitney's no trouble, then?
37:15Well, hardly see him during the week.
37:17And weekends, he's away visiting his mother.
37:19She's in a nursing home or something.
37:20Not that he talks about it much, he's not the type.
37:23Retiring sort of fellow, is he?
37:24Retiring, all right.
37:25Mostly to his room.
37:27So, what with him and the old man practising his backswing,
37:29you can't say the conversation exactly sparkles.
37:31Still, as long as he pays the rent.
37:33Oh, I've no complaints there.
37:34He's good as gold.
37:35And he's very nice, you know, very polite and everything.
37:39But all he seems interested in is his little bits and pieces of china.
37:43Collects it, you know, little figurines, I think he calls them.
37:46Quite pretty, some of them.
37:47Every man should have an obby, so they say.
37:49Yeah, so long as it's clean and doesn't wear a skirt.
37:53Have you tried Oakley Crescent?
37:55Oakley Crescent?
37:56Well, there's Oakley Road and Oakley Crescent.
37:58It's out of the gate first on the right.
38:00That might be the answer.
38:01Well, try it anyway.
38:03Try anything once.
38:04Try finding your way to the front door, then.
38:11How do they work it out, these banks?
38:13Go in any lunchtime and there's a queue a mile long,
38:15and one little clerk operating on the principle that anything you can do,
38:18I can do slower.
38:25You could do with some help.
38:26Up to them.
38:28How do you like it?
38:29Four fives and the rest in ones, please.
38:31Don't you get a break, then?
38:32Two o'clock.
38:4120 and 10 to 13.
38:43Cheers.
38:47Money doesn't buy happiness, or so they say.
38:49But what he does buy is information.
38:51The price to get what I wanted in this case being 12p
38:54for a cup of so-called coffee in the local Greaserama.
38:57Who's that?
38:58Who's that Mr...
39:00What's his name?
39:02Now, don't tell me.
39:03Whitney.
39:04That's it.
39:05Who's that him, I saw?
39:06Yeah, old Norman.
39:07He's the sub-manager, why?
39:08Oh, I shouldn't remember him.
39:09Well, yeah, you would.
39:10He's been here about a hundred years.
39:12Poor old Norman.
39:13How's that?
39:14Well, they bypassed him, didn't they?
39:15About the time I came, actually.
39:17This time last year.
39:18The manager was moving on,
39:19and everyone was quite convinced old Norman would get the job.
39:21But no, over the top of them they went, and that was that.
39:24Poor old Norman.
39:25Trouble is, you see, he's got no go in him.
39:27No drive.
39:28Oh, I feel sorry for him, I suppose.
39:29But there you go, that's how it is nowadays.
39:31Now, me, I'd have told him to stuff it.
39:34I want to see that.
39:35Still a man of his age.
39:37Yeah, but it's not your age, though, is it?
39:38It's your personality, what you're made of.
39:40Old Norman?
39:41Nah, he just hasn't got it in him.
39:42Must have hit him pretty hard, though.
39:44If he did, he didn't show it.
39:45No, he'll plod on till I give him the girl watch.
39:47You'll see if I'm not right.
39:50I'm just off to the cleaners.
39:51Do you want that jacket collected?
39:53Oh, yeah, thanks.
39:55Right, well, I'll need the ticket.
40:05Something for the maid?
40:08John, a man commits a crime.
40:10What's the first thing you need?
40:11A good solicitor.
40:12Apart from that.
40:13Good alibi.
40:14That's right.
40:15Good alibi.
40:16But still, within the pattern of his normal behaviour.
40:19What did you have in mind?
40:21Killing the tax man or something in lieu?
40:23Thanks for reminding me.
40:25I keep telling you.
40:26Keep a low profile and go easy on the mascara, you were saying.
40:30Eh?
40:31Oh, yeah.
40:33I was saying what I think I've got is the alibi.
40:36What I'm working on is the crime.
40:47I want to tell you a story.
40:54A man works in a bank.
40:56Been there for Yonkers.
40:57Steady man.
40:58Honest.
40:58A grey man.
40:59A man you could set your watch for.
41:01I get the picture.
41:02And he knows it.
41:04He's not married.
41:05There isn't anyone in his life except for an elderly mother.
41:07Who's an invalid.
41:08Been in one of these homes for years.
41:09Now.
41:10Two things happen.
41:11His mother dies.
41:12And suddenly there isn't anyone dependent on him anymore.
41:15And.
41:16He's overlooked in his job.
41:17A man is promoted past him.
41:20So it's pretty clear.
41:21Career wise he's at the end of the road.
41:23He's 50 years old.
41:24And maybe for the first time in his life.
41:26He takes stock of himself.
41:27He's served his time.
41:29And for what?
41:30Sounds like a man after your own heart.
41:32So suddenly he doesn't like what he sees.
41:34And he wants a way out.
41:35And the answer is pretty simple.
41:38He'll rob the bank.
41:40Simple she says.
41:41He's got access and they trust him.
41:43Good old Norm.
41:44A good and faithful servant.
41:45How hard would it be?
41:47Even a bank that size carries more money than most people realise.
41:50Well you've got a supermarket, a bingo hall and three factories to my knowledge.
41:54Now choose the time when they pay in big and you've got it made.
41:57Choose the day before a public holiday.
41:59And you've not only got the money, but you've got a few days start.
42:03And when the bank reopens the money's gone and so is he.
42:05I should have thought even you could work out who took it.
42:07He knows that.
42:08It's a gamble he's prepared to take.
42:10So he lengthens the odds.
42:13A man steals money.
42:15He needs somewhere to go.
42:16A stranger arrives somewhere, he's suspicious.
42:19But what if he isn't a stranger?
42:21What if he set up another life in another place so that he's expected to turn up?
42:26He arrives, he's accepted.
42:28Because it's nothing unusual, he's been arriving for months.
42:31From here on in, all he has to do is ease himself out of one life and into another.
42:36And sooner or later the hounds come a-knocking.
42:40Yeah, but what if he accepts that?
42:42What if all he wants is just a year?
42:45Maybe two.
42:46Maybe even two months.
42:47Just as long as he can do what he wants to do and to hold with the consequences.
42:50What if all he wants to do is to gather around him a beautiful little set of porcelain figures
42:55because somehow they've taken the place of the real people in his life?
42:57Oh, yeah, yeah.
42:59It happens.
43:00So now he can look and choose and buy the only things that mean anything to him.
43:05All his money that he sold.
43:08Until, as you say, they come a-knocking.
43:13Well, we have been a busy little boy, haven't we?
43:17And how did I get into it?
43:19Because somebody cares.
43:21That's a touch of your irony, isn't it?
43:23I mean, maybe for the first time in his life somebody cares about him.
43:26I get involved, I do me job,
43:28and the only round of applause unlikely to get is from George, the milk.
43:32Much as I admire your touching little moments of self-indulgence, Dumbledore,
43:36may I point out to you that all you've got is a few facts and a lot of supposition.
43:42That's just words, darling.
43:44Words.
43:44Yeah.
43:46Well, there are theories at the bottom of my jargon.
43:50What have you got?
43:58I've done as you asked and put in it as simply as I can.
44:01He's not the man you think he is.
44:04You're saying he's not to be trusted?
44:06I'm saying for your own sake.
44:08Don't expect too much from him.
44:10For my sake?
44:12If you ask me what I know...
44:14No.
44:15No.
44:16There's really no need, is there?
44:20Well, I'd better settle up with you then.
44:22They'll send the account.
44:23Well, as soon as possible, if you don't mind.
44:25I'd like to know where I am, you know, where money's concerned.
44:28Sure.
44:30He doesn't know.
44:31He doesn't know anything.
44:34Well, that's that then.
44:37I'm sorry.
44:38I'm not.
44:39Not now, I know.
44:41I mean, even if you've found nothing,
44:43it wouldn't stop the knowledge of what I've done
44:44by employing someone like you.
44:48It's not something I can account for with a great deal of pleasure.
44:52Is it?
44:57So, either way...
44:59Anyway, more than anything now, it's telling George.
45:03Can I suggest something, Mrs. Bradley?
45:06Yes.
45:06Don't say anything to your son until you've seen Mr...
45:09Mr. Norman again, tomorrow.
45:12Now, don't ask me how, but in a funny sort of way,
45:14I think you might have done him a favour.
45:16He might, just might, want to tell you about it himself.
45:33Excuse me.
45:34Yes?
45:35I wonder if we might have a word, Mr. Whitney.
45:39Or is it Mr. Norman?
45:44It wouldn't be hard for a man in your position to get a duplicate of the manager's key.
45:48You make an excuse to work late, you take the money, you catch your train.
45:52The only thing you wouldn't want to leave behind is your collection.
45:55The porcelain.
45:56Which is why you've been moving it bit by bit over the last month or so.
45:59Stop me if I'm going too fast for you.
46:02She, er...
46:04She just wanted to know about me.
46:07Yeah.
46:08I'd say you came out lucky.
46:10Lucky?
46:12Yes.
46:14I told her not to depend on you, that's all.
46:17The rest is between you and me.
46:20What I mean is, I've got a few facts and a lot of guesswork.
46:23But I read me papers.
46:24And if the bank finds itself short, I'll be first in line for the reward money.
46:29Maybe I should have kept Sturm and let you get on with it.
46:32A couple of grand might have come in very useful.
46:34Only do yourself a favour.
46:36Don't bother, eh?
46:39Now, if I'm going to get you back to Croydon, then you'd better change your cosy.
46:42I wonder...
46:44I wonder if it's in any way possible for you to understand.
46:49No, China.
46:50Not me.
46:51I don't understand nothing.
47:13I don't suppose you're a religious man, Mr Hazel?
47:17Funny you should say that, Mr Whitney.
47:20What do you have in mind?
47:22Well, it goes something like this.
47:25Blessed is the man who expects nothing.
47:27For he will not be disappointed.
47:31I enjoy a good turn of phrase.
47:34Terrific.
48:03As soon as he knocked, instead of using the key, I knew that was it.
48:09He didn't live there.
48:11Anymore.
48:13Yeah, well...
48:14Another satisfied customer.
48:16Another job well done.
48:18Another month's rent paid.
48:20And...
48:21I got a letter this morning from the laughing policeman.
48:23No further action was to be taken in the case of you-know-what and would I accept their apologies.
48:28Courtesy of dear old Uncle Choc, no doubt.
48:31Call me a naive, sentimental fool.
48:33But there was one thing that I knew I had to do.
48:36So there's two dozen red roses in a nice wrapping.
48:40Minty.
48:41M-I-N-T-Y.
48:44Detective Inspector Minty.
48:46Oh, yeah, and a card.
48:47Thank you for a wonderful fortnight.
48:50I shall treasure it always.
48:51Love, Jimmy.
48:56Just happened to be passing, Mr Hazel?
48:58Yeah, well, unfortunately, Mr Arnold, I'm just on my way out.
49:00Oh, will you be long?
49:02Actually, I'm gonna rob this bank and then piss off to Jamaica.
49:05Where'd your rom come from?
49:06You what?
49:07Well, people do, you know.
49:09And if they don't do it, then they dream about it.
49:11I don't quite understand what you're saying, Mr Hazel.
49:13Not now, maybe.
49:14Been a few years' time.
49:16Come on.
49:17Buy us a cup of tea.
49:18I'll tell you all about it.
49:19One, one morning,
49:21Walk out where the ceiling fell.
49:27One, one morning,
49:29Walk out where the ceiling fell.
49:33You learned everything you know in six days.
49:37On the seventh day, you knew it very well.
49:42You trusted pretty women.
49:44A pretty woman had you tied and bound.
49:48You trusted in the bottle, but in the end the bottle got you down.
49:57You've tried everything that's going, but leave it all to faith this time around.
50:04You've been down so long, it looks like her.
50:10Ain't that a shame?
50:12Down so long, it looks like her.
50:17Ain't that a shame?
50:19You know your life might change tomorrow.
50:23And then again, it might stay just about the same.
50:28Ain't that a shame?
50:31Yeah
50:47Ain't that a shame?
50:57Get out of all these things,
Comments