- 1 day ago
Americas Funniest Home Videos - Season 36 - Episode 02: Melodrama-rama, Sports Report, and Golden Agers
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00:01Warning, tonight's AFV may cause uncontrollable giggling.
00:05Warning, tonight's AFV.
00:49Hello and welcome to the show.
00:51I am, insert name here.
00:53Oops.
00:55Sorry, I've been reading from the official TV host handbook and I forgot to plug in my personal details.
01:01Anyway, enjoy these things or particular program showcases.
01:04Dang it.
01:06You know, let me just start over.
01:07I'm Alfonso and these are funny videos.
01:10Yeah, I don't need no stinking handbook, sure.
01:15Welcome, Matt.
01:16Welcome, Splat.
01:28Look out, look out, look out, look out, look out, look out.
01:33Watching a woman with a fake snake tied to her hoodie can turn anyone into a golf thing.
01:40I'm starting to think these guys are trying to discourage their wives from golfing.
01:50She's never gotten an eagle, but at least now she has a stake.
01:59The cast on his arm makes me think Liam isn't coordinated enough for Pond Hopscotch.
02:06Don't fall in, Liam.
02:10You're okay.
02:12You're okay.
02:14I hope one of the presents in that big ball of plastic wrap is a gift card to a furniture
02:19store.
02:30He can't wait for his big sister to come home from school.
02:39He's going to have to wait a little longer.
02:52She has no idea why her keychain is buzzing like crazy, but she's determined to make it stop.
03:11Now toss that hunk of junk and never think about it again.
03:25Release the hounds.
03:27It's time to go to the dog park.
03:31No barking or no stag.
03:33No barking or no stag.
03:36When you're going to bark, you need a snack.
03:38Bark or snag.
03:43Here's why you should never bark with your mouth full.
03:52What did you do, Lily?
03:55Lily, what did you do?
03:58You want some food?
04:00Let's go get some food.
04:03Lily, what did you do?
04:04I don't know what Lily did, but I know what Lily wants.
04:09Do you want some food?
04:11Okay, let's go get some food.
04:14What did you do?
04:19Dishwasher-safe silverware?
04:20How about a dishwasher-safe dog collar?
04:30Hi, you hear me?
04:33Grandpa's here.
04:36Funny.
04:37Inside.
04:39Inside.
04:41You know grandpa's got something for you.
04:43Look, it's right here.
04:44Dogs off-leash and grandpa's off-belt.
04:46Inside.
04:47Inside.
05:01The longer the hot dog stick, the bigger the potential for canine thievery.
05:16The squirrel was so impressed by the dog climbing the tree that he wants to see him do it again.
05:37Who chewed up this paper towel? Who did that?
05:40If he can't see you, you can't see him.
05:43Where are you?
05:45That's just science.
05:46Who chewed up this paper towel? Who did it?
05:51Hmm. I guess I can't see you.
05:57Tonight's first montage features teenage girls.
06:01You'll find it delightful and a little bittersweet if you're like me and your youngest is rapidly approaching her teenage
06:07years.
06:07Because it's a reminder of just how fast they grow up.
06:11And just how often they fall down.
06:15I'm gonna be alright. Go ahead.
06:17You got it. You know I want it.
06:21There ain't no stopping in my mind.
06:23It's not a mess.
06:24I love it.
06:25I need more of it.
06:27I can't live without it.
06:29It won't be in my nest.
06:31I want what I want when I want it.
06:34I want what I want when I want it.
06:37I want what I want when I want it.
06:40I don't take the price, yeah.
06:42Yeah, I want what I want when I want it.
06:47Yeah, when I want it.
06:50Yeah, when I want it.
06:54I got this honey, honey, sweet and fresh.
06:58Yeah, that high-roar taste.
07:01Camouflage and recover the nest.
07:04What you give, dang it.
07:06What you give?
07:07I want what I want when I want it.
07:10I want what I want when I want it.
07:13I want what I want when I want it.
07:16I don't take the price tag, I just put it in my back.
07:26I want what I want when I want it.
07:29I want what I want when I want it
07:32I want what I want when I want it
07:35I don't take the price tag
07:38I want what I want when I want it
07:40Got a funny video?
07:47Upload it to AFV.com
07:49I want what I want when I want it
08:01The following people are what you might call dim bulbs
08:05But that's okay. The dimmer the bulb, the less electricity they use
08:08So at least they're environmentally conscious
08:12Some pizzas come with garlic knots
08:14Some come with hot buns
08:21Ooh
08:25Sita, fire
08:27Are you sitting on your feet tall?
08:29Oh my god
08:30Are you kidding me?
08:32You sat on your feet
08:33Wait, it's on your snuggie
08:34I'm sure it is
08:36Okay, it is going
08:41It's a fine line between fun grandpa and gross grandpa
08:45And that's two
08:48That's number two
08:49Oh my
08:50Did the video run this time?
08:52Oh my
08:53Okay, are you going to post that?
08:55Oh my god
08:56Go ahead
08:58Some friends hold the ladder
09:00Some friends chant, please break to the ladder
09:04Please break
09:05Please break
09:07Please break
09:08Please break
09:10Please break
09:17I expected him to be a little tougher considering the samurai man bun
09:27What are you doing?
09:28What's he doing?
09:29He's waiting to see how you handle the whole socks on hardwood stairs situation
09:45She had such a great time being out
09:47She doesn't want it to end
10:05I think it's sweet how some couples love to do everything together
10:24Listen, I have something, something really important to say, okay?
10:27And in fact, it might be the most important thing I've ever said in my life
10:31If I can just find the strength to say it
10:36These videos are full of melodrama
10:40Actually, that wasn't that hard
10:43I guess I was just being melodramatic
10:44My bad, my bad
10:48This kid wouldn't hurt a fly
10:50But only because he's too scared of them
10:54What?
10:57What?
10:59What?
10:59What?
11:00What?
11:01What?
11:01What?
11:05Oh my god
11:08It's a fly
11:10Oh my god
11:11You're scared of your friend
11:13I know you do
11:15I know you do
11:16I know I do
11:18Well, you're gonna hate Summer
11:20I'll tell you that one right now
11:22He must have strict parents
11:24If this is how he reacts to hearing his mom's disembodied voice
11:29It depends on how it comes
11:31I scared him
11:47Wait, did I have this?
11:49I heard you know
11:50Oh my god
12:02Man, he's really excited about cake
12:06Oh, blue cake
12:11He's having a boy
12:12And cake
12:13No, we're gonna have a boy
12:17We're gonna have a boy
12:20We're gonna have a boy
12:43You're going to wake the neighborhood.
12:45She should just be glad there aren't July, August, and September bugs, too.
12:53I don't know what you're supposed to do in this situation,
12:55but I do know screaming and running away aren't going to help a whole lot.
12:59It's on fire!
13:02Help! Help!
13:03Help! I don't know what that's doing!
13:07Help! Help!
13:09Help!
13:17It's time for the Winner's Circle,
13:19where we take a look back at some former AFV winners.
13:23Yeah, years later, and they're still getting the spotlight,
13:26as if you needed one more reason to send your videos in.
13:30It's time to have a blast with some big winners from AFV's past.
13:36Hi, my name is Marissa. My country is Germany.
13:40My fun fact about Germany is the Autobahn.
13:42The Autobahn has been over, is known for no speed limits, and...
13:53Have easy!
13:58You know what we're going to have for dinner?
14:00We're going to have P-I-Z-Z-A, P-I-Z-Z-A, P-I-Z-Z-A.
14:07We're going to have some...
14:09Tacos!
14:12Tacos!
14:15I have to record you saying, if I do the trick...
14:18If I do the trick...
14:19If this is something though, I'm going to be...
14:22If I do the trick right, can you buy me a crock of this?
14:25No!
14:26Okay, well, can you buy me some nice...
14:28Yeah!
14:29I am about to suck this juice out of this coat without touching the towel.
14:35What?
14:36I'm about to suck the juice out of the coat, but I'm not going to touch the towel.
14:39You got to be quiet.
14:43No.
14:45You really got to be quiet.
15:18I'm about to suck the juice out of the coat, but I'm not going to touch the juice out of
15:23the coat, but I'm not going to touch the juice out of the coat.
15:32I recently read an article which said that people's attention spans are getting shorter.
15:37I think.
15:39I only read the headline because the article was like three paragraphs long, and I can't focus for that long.
15:45Anyway, here's some videos short enough to hold anyone's attention.
15:49Only one thing lets in more fresh air than a screen door.
15:53Not having any door at all.
16:01My mommy's on the screen.
16:04She's supposed to be babysitting, not hammock sitting.
16:08Her friends are babysitting.
16:16Gary?
16:17Mommy?
16:19Mommy?
16:20Do you want me to call the police?
16:24You can stop the thing.
16:30There he is.
16:33What'd you get, Tucker?
16:35A catfish.
16:37When he said catfish, a certain someone took it literally.
16:43Where did you get your gum?
16:45Over there.
16:46Over there?
16:47Yeah.
16:47On the sidewalk?
16:48Yeah.
16:50I ate it.
16:54Honey, it's icky.
16:56That's not mommy's gum.
16:58Oh.
16:59Oh, my God.
17:00Nothing brings raccoons out of hiding like a kayaker with a cracker.
17:04No, no, no, no, no, no.
17:07Oh!
17:08Oh!
17:11Some dogs are water dogs.
17:13Some are just push you into the water dogs.
17:18Oh!
17:18Don't be scared.
17:22Oh!
17:26Oh!
17:27Oh!
17:29Oh!
17:29Oh!
17:29Oh!
17:29Oh!
17:31Oh!
17:34Oh!
17:35Oh!
17:36Oh!
18:04school
18:05nobody likes a wise guy unless he's the host of a tv show that focuses on people making bad
18:11decisions on video me i'm talking about me yeah i'm about to get all sassy up in here
18:21time to drink in exactly what i'm thinking it's here's a thought
18:27here's a thought if you're thinking of jumping into a pile of leaves let somebody else do the
18:32first jump
18:41a slice of al advice if you don't get better at loading your pickup it's you who'll need
18:46to be picked up
18:58yard work pro tip ride-on lawnmowers are rated by their horsepower not their buoyancy
19:19take it from me it's best not to get too attached to spiky
19:23spiky i'm gonna i'm gonna call her spiky
19:30this has been here's a thought
19:36if you've ever been told to turn on notifications or smash that like button
19:41then you're familiar with influencers but don't worry the only thing i'll ever influence you to do
19:46is watch these influencer flubs no smashing reply
19:52the thing about internet fame it comes in waves
19:56now put your arm down by your side let's see how that works
20:01and then
20:04did you get it
20:06yeah i got it
20:07okay that was
20:11so this is my house i'm gonna show you around
20:17okay so that's our tv
20:19she's hoping for as many views as possible her mom doesn't want any views at all
20:25it's our hallway
20:28i know it looks white but it's meant to be orange
20:31let's show you
20:32what are you doing
20:34i'm drawing around
20:35go away
20:40shut the door
20:44hi guys welcome back to my channel
20:48i'm i'm going to let you see some of my fidgets
20:52so we're going ahead and get started
20:55say what you want about jacks
20:57but he knows how to get people talking in the comment section
21:00miniature pop it
21:03the pups are so
21:06yeah
21:10shh
21:15someone spent many hours getting those flower petals set up for the perfect shot
21:25his wife and kids aren't the only ones sick and tired of him yapping about legos
21:30it's not open to
21:38um hi everybody today
21:41for some kids showing off what their dolls can do isn't easy for this girl it's a snap
21:57thanks for watching
22:12when a person retires they can spend more time with their grandchildren and pursue things they didn't have time for
22:19in their youth it's why we call them the golden years
22:21which sounds a lot better than the sore knee aching back speak up i can't quite hear your ears
22:30public bathroom
22:31public humiliation
22:42talk about a two-ply surprise
22:58is she a member of a a a r t p
23:22how does someone live this long
23:24with that kind of judgment
23:31he sure called down
23:37so you all know how much i love crickets i've been known to get up at three o'clock in
23:42the morning with the vacuum cleaner looking for those little buzzards
23:46well here i am trying to fall asleep and all i keep on hearing is this sound and i'm like
23:53where is that coming from where are they
23:55well guess what it is it's not crickets
23:59it's my husband's hearing aids
24:03that are talking to each other
24:05all night long
24:07naturally he can't hear it
24:09of course not
24:10gotta love him
24:11ugh
24:13bye
24:18i don't think you should ride toy roller coasters if you're older than the first real roller coaster
24:30he'll tell his buddies that he hit it so hard that it never came down
24:43there are lots of products designed to help you sleep better however there are no products to help you sleep
24:50funnier
24:51conspiracy
24:52probably not
24:53but until somebody invents one
24:55we'll have a subtle for these people who turn catching z's into some serious lols
25:07you think his wife ever gets a good night's sleep
25:15some kids are just born dancers
25:32road trips
25:33road trips usually sound more exciting than they actually are
25:47okay girls who wants candy
26:03one minute the kid's peacefully sleeping
26:06the next minute he's breaking stuff and it's not even his fault
26:24moms have a way of knowing what a baby's cry means
26:28and dads have a way of sleeping through it
26:36i guess there are worse ways to wake up than with whipped cream in your mouth
26:51y'all look how my daddy all sleep open
26:56he sleeps with his eyes open to make sure you're doing your chores
27:09as you might know in addition to this show i also host dancing with the stars
27:14well the other night i had a weird dream that combined both shows
27:18carrie ann anaba was riding a skateboard on a trampoline
27:21a schnauzer was doing the cha-cha
27:23and a frisbee hit bruno tonioli right in the business
27:28yeah i think i need a vacation
27:35it's not a full-on surprise party but it's still a surprise
27:50what happened to your food i gave you a bunch of lettuce and carrots
27:56oh here's some of the lettuce i found your plate on the ground
28:01sometimes even carnivores want to mix things up
28:04i wonder who took the carrots
28:09hmm busted
28:13before you salt the driveway
28:15you might want to make sure all the snow has fallen
28:24you're good
28:35the cruiser's buffet is all you can eat
28:37and the water slide is all you can drink
29:00this is why having a great vertical is overrated
29:11everyone loves watching sports highlights you know the best players making the best plays
29:16boring when it comes to sports clips we prefer to focus on the best of the worst
29:22so grab yourself a seat and enjoy the agony of defeat
29:38oh
29:49Oh, my God.
30:24Do you have a funny video worth $20,000?
30:27What are you waiting for?
30:28Upload it to AFV.com.
30:37Hey, Juanjo!
30:41Hey, Alfonso!
30:42Get us some more cat videos!
30:44Ha-ha!
30:45Okay, Rylan and Julio, you want more cat videos?
30:48I have some that are purr-fect.
30:59Don't worry.
31:00The cat's not the butt of this joke.
31:17Sometimes we all get so caught up in our favorite show that we forget about the world around us.
31:30Hi.
31:32Hi.
31:33Hi.
31:34Yeah.
31:35Say hi to everybody.
31:36Hi.
31:37Hello.
31:39Hi.
31:40Hi.
31:41Hi.
31:42Hi.
31:45Hi.
31:46Hi.
31:47Hi.
31:47Hi.
31:54Hi.
31:57Hi.
32:09Excuse me, ma'am.
32:11Are you supposed to be doing that?
32:13What she lacks in stealth, she makes up for in speed.
32:25and it feels this good a regular purr just ain't gonna cut
32:47cats hate water even when it's on the other side of the glass
33:00you know what the world needs now a pig that hates selfies
33:05go on do something with me
33:07i hope you've enjoyed a pig that hates selfies
33:18people are fascinated with dinosaurs because they looked cool and were all big and scary
33:23but what did they really accomplish i mean just imagine if they'd invented smart phones
33:28instead of being on the air for 36 years we could have been on the air for 66 million years
33:33you know if they also invented a television you know maybe i'm being a little too critical
33:40hmm this looks like a make two trips kind of situation
33:55they get in a go-kart crash before the go-kart's even been assembled
34:12hey remember the 90s
34:24boneheads just look more artsy in black and white
34:38this is why playtime and lay concrete time should be two different times
34:44hey get off
35:01if there's no takers for frisbee how about ring toss
35:12judging by where he's standing he's not used to coaching lefties
35:27here kitty kitty
35:30oh i'm not calling for a lost cat i'm calling for cat videos
35:33because cats aren't just finicky furballs of fun
35:36they're also tonight's assignment america
35:38yes we want to see your frisky felines and the calamities they cause
35:41with their tails and their teeth and their cute little paws
35:45just tell them more
35:46is your cat knocking stuff off the table
35:49is he hiding your new socks in the litter box
35:51well your rodent chasing roommate might also fetch you some cash
35:55maybe even 20 or 100 grand
35:57just upload the video to afb.com
35:59for full contest rules log on to afb.com
36:01get us your cat video and you could get some major money
36:04i'm not kitten
36:05get it
36:12we've had lots of fun by any account
36:14now we're going to hand out cash in a crazy amount
36:17let's meet our finalists
36:18first up
36:19golfing with friends
36:20what could go wrong
36:21unless your friend has a fake snake
36:23that he brings along
36:24it's not par for the course
36:25sent in by jollen carson
36:27from sioux falls
36:29south dakota
36:31oh my god
36:32got it
36:32look out
36:32look out
36:33look out
36:33snake
36:36watching a woman with a fake snake tied to her hoodie
36:38can turn anyone into a golf fan
36:43i'm starting to think these guys are trying to discourage their wives from golfing
36:52joining us are katie and ryan
36:54so your friend jollen who you were golfing with that day
36:58set you up for this prank by clipping a fake snake to your hoodie
37:02katie what was going through your mind as you were sprinting across all those tee boxes
37:08i cannot tell you how real it felt
37:10so i don't watch a lot of those snake prank videos
37:13i had no idea how they did it
37:14and we were on the 18th hole
37:16so we've been having fun all day
37:18and all of a sudden this snake will not stop chasing me
37:21and it seemed like there was
37:24like venom coming out of its mouth
37:26it seemed like it was spraying me
37:27and we don't have a lot of snakes in this part of south dakota like that
37:30but it seemed so real
37:32and i totally trusted these friends
37:34so
37:34it was crazy
37:36we're happy that you finally realized that it was a fake
37:40so good luck
37:42all right all right
37:44next up a portable alarm you can keep in your purse
37:48it seemed like a good idea
37:50but it couldn't have been worse
37:52it's drive you insane keychain
37:54sent in by sherry cooley
37:55from dalton illinois
37:58she has no idea why her keychain is buzzing like crazy
38:02but she's determined to make it stop
38:07now toss that hunk of junk
38:09never think about it again
38:17joining us are sherry and ariana
38:20now the question on everyone's mind ariana
38:23did you ever get that keychain to stop chirping
38:26no i threw it in the trash and i drove off
38:31yeah well now sherry
38:33how did you react when you discovered the video on your doorbell camera
38:37i said this had to be on americans funniest video
38:41we have to send this in
38:43see see you a smart woman
38:45you a smart woman
38:46you know you know a good video when you see one
38:48well i'm just i'm just glad you sent us the video instead of that keychain okay
38:53yes
38:54yes all right good luck y'all
38:57thank you
38:58finally girl or boy it shouldn't matter but dad can't hide his excitement at finding out it's the latter
39:03it's boy oh boy dad's filled with joy sent in by caitlyn hernandez from clarkston michigan
39:28joining us are caitlyn arthur and sunny so arthur caitlyn told the producers that actually both of you were hoping
39:36for a girl
39:37so why were you so excited to find out it was a boy
39:40we were hoping for a girl but we had a feeling it was going to be a boy
39:45and as soon as we saw the blue sprinkles come out
39:47i don't know i just i just kind of lost it man
39:50and look at that look at that
39:52well that was very cool
39:54well i'm curious to see how excited he gets if you guys win tonight
39:58that's what i'm excited about
40:00yeah
40:00all right well good luck y'all good luck
40:02thank you
40:03all right we're gonna find out who takes home the cash in just a minute
40:06but first let's take a look at some of the clips that didn't make our top three in tonight's honorable
40:10mention
40:21what do you think
40:48Okay, it's time to hand out tonight's prize.
40:50$20,000 for first, $6,000 for second, and $4,000 for third.
40:54Here we go.
40:55Our third-place $4,000 winner is...
40:59Drive You Insane Keychain, sent in by Sherry Cooley from Jolton, Illinois.
41:04Yes! Thank you!
41:07And the winner of the $20,000 and tonight's funniest home video is...
41:13Not Par for the Course, sent in by Jalen Carlson from Two Falls, South Carolina.
41:18We have Katie and Ryan.
41:21Yes!
41:22Yes! Congratulations!
41:25But be honest, have you forgiven Jalen for the fake snake yet, or is there a revenge plan in the
41:32works?
41:33There will be a revenge plan, but they're still our really good friends.
41:37Okay, well, you better make sure you send us that video, okay?
41:41We will.
41:41Absolutely, absolutely.
41:43Well, Jalen couldn't be here today.
41:44I understand he had to take his fake snake to a fake veterinarian.
41:49Yep.
41:50Well, congratulations.
41:51You got $20,000 and a shot at $100,000.
41:55Congratulations.
41:58That's our show, which proves all good things must come to an end.
42:02Come to think of it, all bad things must come to an end, too, which is a good thing.
42:07See you next time, and remember, send your video to me, you might win 20 Gs.
42:11Good night, y'all.
42:11Good night, y'all.
42:45Good night, y'all.
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