- 19 hours ago
Americas Funniest Home Videos - Season 36 - Episode 09: Close Calls, Magic Trick Fails, and Virtual Insanity
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00:01It's AFB time, so here's a sneak peek if it's funny videos you seek.
00:17You've got to take that off.
00:19That's mommy's underwear.
00:27Welcome to America's Funniest Home Videos.
00:30And now, here he is, the host of our show, Alfonso Ribeiro.
00:38Let's do it.
00:42Come on.
00:43Welcome to America's Funniest Home Videos.
00:48Hello and welcome to America's Funniest Videos.
00:51If you're tired of Hollywood churning out nothing but sequels and prequels, you're in luck.
00:56Because here at AFB, we don't play that.
00:58Mainly because our show doesn't have characters or any sort of plot, but that's beside the point.
01:03So, forget about sequels and never mind prequels.
01:06It's all about laughs and all things being equal.
01:09The Sly thinks that this is such a bad idea that it tries to leave.
01:19She did that intentionally.
01:22We love you.
01:25I see how it is.
01:27Holy crap.
01:29That's clean.
01:42Maybe you should try breathing when you color.
01:44You might find it more enjoyable.
01:47He seems a bit young to be suffering for his art.
01:55Goats can climb mountains, and yet tiny wooden steps give them trouble.
02:07Oops.
02:09Carrying the bride across the threshold is adorable.
02:12It's even more adorable if you keep the room key in your pocket.
02:25I'm about to do a headstand.
02:27What are you going to watch?
02:30It's good to stay hydrated when working out, but not this hydrated.
02:54Imagine a place where the greatest snacks are found on the kitchen floor and scooting your butt across the carpet
03:01is socially acceptable way of getting around.
03:03That's right.
03:04I'm talking about the dog park.
03:07Release the hounds.
03:10It's time to go to the dog park.
03:13Hounds, a moment with a dog, jumping at a dog, jumping at a dog, jumping at a dog.
03:22This dog is the ultimate copycat.
03:30This has been a moment with a dog, jumping at a dog, jumping at a dog, jumping at a dog.
03:38Training the best dog ever.
03:40I think she should return that book.
03:42You know, if they didn't eat the receipt.
03:51The new glass door is taking some getting used to.
04:08While you might just see two dogs squabbling over a bone, their sibling sees a fun new addition to the
04:13living room obstacle course.
04:14Falling down, falling down, falling down, the bridge is falling down, my fair lady.
04:26I love it.
04:28She's combined her love of the car with her love of fetching sticks.
04:34She got it!
04:50You know you're tired when you can't even slurp milk properly.
04:57What a mess.
05:04Now that the new baby has arrived, a certain someone has to pull out all the stops to try and
05:09get attention.
05:15It's a standoff, or more accurately, a snout off.
05:24She's got a good solid post right next to her, yet she ties the leash to a flimsy plastic chair.
05:31Let's see how this unfolds.
05:32Stay right there.
05:38Ruby!
05:40Ruby!
05:41Ruby!
05:43Ruby!
05:45Why won't Ruby listen to her?
05:47Come here!
05:48Stop!
05:49Oh, that's better.
05:55It's time for a montage, and this one's set to a song called You Are No Good For Me.
06:00It features couples where one partner heard, for better or for worse, and thought,
06:04worse please!
06:06One, two, buckle my shoe.
06:09Should've known better, but what's the gotta do?
06:12You are no good for me.
06:17Three, four, darling on the floor.
06:20What you doing's killing me, so why do I want more?
06:23You are no good for me.
06:27Ah, you are no good for me.
06:38Woo!
06:39Ah, you are no good for me.
06:51Ah, you are no good for me.
06:56You are no good for me.
07:01You are no good for me.
07:13You are no good for me.
07:24I'm tired, it's late, I'm drunk, this ain't a date.
07:26Ah, you are no good for me.
07:34No, you are no good for me.
07:40Got a funny video?
07:41Upload it to AFE.com.
07:53Overthinking is a real problem.
07:55Don't overthink unless you're a bonehead,
07:58in which case you tend to underthink,
08:01then you should overthink because it will bring your thinking
08:04up to a normal level of thinking.
08:06I mean, you don't have to, but think about it.
08:10Careful, those front steps might be icy.
08:14Oh, Kyra, come on.
08:20Sure, Devin will be a bit more careful
08:22after seeing what happened to Kyra.
08:24Devin, I'm not stepping into it.
08:27Baby!
08:28You wonder how many people need to slip
08:30before the others at this house start getting the message.
08:33I slipped and I'm about to...
08:38Are you okay?
08:41This is a public service announcement
08:43for those who mow their own lawns
08:46and have wasp nests in their yard.
08:48So I wanted to let you see what I look like before.
08:51So here we go.
08:53Always remember to check your yard for wasp nests
08:56that build their wasps in the ground.
08:58They come out during the day.
09:00And when you're mowing the lawn, they don't like it.
09:05That two-legged person should be careful
09:07walking her four-legged animal
09:09near those two-by-fours.
09:12Ow!
09:14Oh!
09:15That one's on camera.
09:18Oh!
09:19See?
09:20Can I see that?
09:23Holding three chickens at one time?
09:25That girl must be pooped.
09:28I hope that big one doesn't poop on you.
09:30Oh, my God!
09:36That lady not only made a delicious potato salad,
09:39she was functioning as a counterweight.
09:48He's got to take that glass door back to the store.
09:55Well, check that one off the to-do list.
10:02She's about to find out why hanging drywall
10:04is a two-person job.
10:13Oh!
10:16I'm done.
10:23Someone really made a mess with the creamer.
10:26I hope she finds out who it was.
10:43Right now, we're going to show some videos
10:45of dads doing the Borrowed Hands Challenge.
10:48It's when one person does something
10:50using another person's hands.
10:52It's cute, and normally,
10:53I might say, give them a hand,
10:55but they already have two more
10:56than they can handle.
10:58Hi, guys!
11:00So, I'm here.
11:00I'm just going to show you
11:01how to put some jelly on toast.
11:03It's a great snack, you know,
11:04for the night if you want to listen to healthy.
11:05Yeah, hi.
11:06Hello.
11:06Thumbs up.
11:07Woo-hoo!
11:07Okay, now, pour some milk on my cereal.
11:10That's enough.
11:10That's enough milk.
11:14I think I'll go for some watermelon.
11:19Oh, okay.
11:23There we go.
11:24And I'm just going to put it on the bread.
11:26I like that.
11:27It's perfect.
11:28Look at that.
11:29That's absolutely bad, I guess.
11:37And we turn a little bit,
11:38and we...
11:39Mmm!
11:40Mmm!
11:41Oh, my God.
11:42So good.
11:45Mmm!
11:46I kind of need something to wash it down, though.
11:53Oh, my God.
11:56Right.
12:00I'm going to put my cheese.
12:02Oh, my God.
12:05Because I've got my cheese on it.
12:15I've got my cheese on it.
12:17Oh, my God.
12:23it's time for some close calls near misses and tragedies narrowly averted and don't be fooled
12:29while disaster may have been avoided the comedy hits a bullseye every time you know how some
12:35people are scared of sharks that's a good fear to have
12:44when you turn 100 you can do whatever you want which includes recklessly waving around that giant
12:51pastry knife
13:00morning everyone bill houghton here with the sunny riffing today we are up north we've got an
13:07alaska moose behind us i'm not sure if they're friendly so if you hear of a indiana resident
13:14getting stomped by a moose it could uh-oh she's curling her ears oh no get back get back
13:25okay that was stupid um i'm done bye
13:41some trees drop more than leaves
13:48he doesn't want to make any sudden movements that could upset or irritate this tree any further
13:58neither rain nor snow nor forgetting to put it in park keeps a mail carrier from his appointed round
14:10before his procedure he wouldn't have made it all the way over
14:23rule number one in learning to fly a drone is never taking your eyes off the drone
14:44the pizza place i order from now lets you order raw dough in case you want to make your own
14:50pizza
14:50you can also buy their cheese and sauce and toppings which makes me wonder why not just buy one of
14:56their
14:57pizzas anyway here are some videos that go great with pizza or just some raw dough if that's your thing
15:04i hope bill's around in case she falls in
15:16bill bill bill bill bill what are you doing in the air like this
15:33He's capturing his proposal on video, and that little girl's capturing his phone.
15:50For some drivers, putting their car in park and having it stay in park is no walking to
16:06park.
16:07Little pig, little pig, let me in.
16:13I'm going to huff, and I'm going to puff.
16:16This is a brick house.
16:21So this is what I pull in my driveway to.
16:26Look at him, just munching away.
16:28He's both enjoying that snack and silently judging you for throwing away a perfectly
16:34good cookie.
16:36Goofy squirrel.
16:40Using a bulldozer as a ladder, bad idea.
16:44Letting a toddler near the control lever, really bad idea.
17:03This is a great dance number.
17:05I just hope they finish strong.
17:07You can't take my crown.
17:12I'll always be stepping up the ground.
17:16My crown.
17:20I'll always be stepping up the ground.
17:23Can't take my crown.
17:26My crown.
17:27My crown.
17:31My crown.
17:33My crown.
17:34Our show isn't usually described as thought provoking.
17:38but this next segment will provoke the thought what on earth were those people thinking
17:45time to drink in exactly what i'm thinking it's here's a thought
17:51here's a thought the nosier the neighbor the more likely they are to stick that big nose where it
18:05doesn't belong newsflash it's hard to make a rad skate park out of a rad two-car garage
18:17a hotel tip sometimes spending the extra 30 bucks for the ocean view is worth it
18:28we should just get creepy in the back
18:38word to the wise it might be time to see the dentist if your breath is so bad
18:42that an animal known for stinking wants you to keep your mouth shut
18:58friendly reminder if your three-year-old starts using the expression meanwhile back at the ranch
19:04you should probably be suspicious
19:08you have you ranch dressing are you just drinking it oh no
19:19this has been years of thought
19:27we're about to visit the winner's circle the place where past afv winners hang out now while
19:33the winner's circle isn't a real place that you can find on a map the money these videos won is
19:38real
19:38cash that you can find in a bank it's time to have a blast with some big winners from afv's
19:45past
19:51i want to get a good picture of the egg
19:56wow those bricks are balanced on eggs which are on top of that table
20:04this is gonna make a mess
20:05go ahead king this is gonna make it easy
20:15oh no
20:17our table
20:21okay what do you say
20:22i know it's a saturator again now turn around
20:29keep going
20:31keep turning turn all the way back around
20:36say i'm sorry
20:37i'm sorry
21:08i'm sorry
21:19i'm sorry
21:31Let's circle back next week
21:33for another Inner Circle.
21:45I recently bought one of those fancy Japanese toilets
21:50that cleans itself and, you know, does everything for you.
21:53It's amazing.
21:54But then I accidentally dropped my tax returns into it.
21:57And guess what?
21:58It found me thousands of dollars in deductions
22:01that my accountant missed.
22:02Great toilet.
22:04In fact, it also chose these next videos
22:06and wrote all the jokes.
22:09What's that say, Rennie?
22:11It says grandma's go that way.
22:12It says grandma's go that way.
22:15It says so I can't go this way.
22:19Well, only grandmas who can walk can go this way.
22:23Okay.
22:24Grandma's go that way.
22:29Going to the airport is annoying enough
22:32without bumping into the moving walkway comedian.
22:42This kitty can turn any door into a cat door.
22:46This will be the first time I get to see
22:48how she gets under that door.
22:52O-M-G.
22:54You little stinker.
22:56He put his ladder in the middle of a pool slide.
22:59Need I say more?
23:09What are you?
23:10A werewolf.
23:12You're a werewolf?
23:13But I can turn into a bat.
23:15You can turn into a bat?
23:17Can you turn around for a second?
23:20Wait.
23:21Did he say werewolf or underwear wolf?
23:24A werewolf.
23:26A werewolf.
23:32Benny, you've got to take that off.
23:34That's mommy's underwear.
23:36Well, I just using it.
23:38You're just using it?
23:39Yeah.
23:40What are you using it for?
23:42I'm using it for a werewolf.
23:50I hereby christen thee the SS Bonehead.
23:55I'm really.
23:57Come help me.
24:02If they can't handle the driveway, they should probably stay off the lake.
24:14I'm thinking of a type of video.
24:18Videos of magic.
24:21And presto, here they are.
24:23I bet you're wondering how I did that.
24:25Was it magic, you ask?
24:27No.
24:27I just read the script ahead of time.
24:30Hey, Grandpa.
24:31I'm going to try some magic.
24:33Okay.
24:33What color is this?
24:34Black.
24:35No.
24:39It's red.
24:41No.
24:44That's pretty good.
24:48I think I read about this in How to Blow Your Kid's Mind magazine.
24:54No way!
25:02New to me.
25:03It's a card.
25:04Any card.
25:07I've seen magicians wow their audience, but I didn't know they could wow themselves.
25:16Your card rises from the deck.
25:19That's right.
25:20That's it.
25:22Are you serious?
25:25Oh my gosh!
25:28You want anything else in there?
25:30No?
25:31There's nothing.
25:32Oh, I see some leaves.
25:34Again?
25:35I definitely see something.
25:36I see something.
25:38Oh my gosh!
25:41I don't vitamin C how he did that.
25:45I love it.
25:47I love it.
25:56Either that dog got a lot bigger, or that ball got a lot smaller.
26:02A good magician never reveals their secrets.
26:05A not so good magician doesn't have any secrets.
26:09I'm just a pair of just cups.
26:13Okay.
26:14Let's see how you do it.
26:23This is Jada with her magic whistle.
26:25She can make it rain, or make it rain harder.
26:33Most magicians have assistants.
26:36Her assistant is Mother Nature.
26:46She has her magic whistle, she's summoning the rain.
26:50Do you hear the rain?
26:53Here's the trick.
26:55Touch it, make sure it's still there.
26:56It's real?
26:57Yeah, that's real.
26:57Real donut.
26:58Okay, watch real close.
27:00Not to brag, but I've made a few donuts disappear in my day.
27:03Okay, one.
27:05Two.
27:05Two.
27:06Three.
27:08Three.
27:11Three.
27:22This next montage is called Virtual Insanity because it's all about virtual reality gone wrong.
27:28And by the way, kudos to all the brainiacs who thought it was a good idea to create an entirely
27:33new world for people who are so klutzy,
27:36they can't even handle this one.
27:38They can't even handle this one.
27:47Whoa, whoa, whoa!
27:56Whoa!
28:01Whoa!
28:05Whoa!
28:07Whoa!
28:11Whoa!
28:20Oh, my God.
28:51Upload your funny video to AFV.com.
29:04Hey, Alfonso.
29:09Hey, Alfonso.
29:11We want to see more snow videos.
29:19OK, Jack, Eleanor, Kennedy, Wells, Taylor, and Madeline,
29:24you want more snow videos?
29:26Well, I'll provide the snow if you provide the hot cocoa.
29:33The gutters are not kidding him.
29:37Are you kidding me?
29:41There's got to be a better hill to go tubing on.
29:54Making a snow angel in his underwear.
29:57What the devil was he thinking?
30:00Yeah, he barely came.
30:01I lost the truck.
30:08I went over the hill.
30:13This goes from man versus nature to man versus man pretty quickly.
30:28I'll never complain about taking out the trash again.
30:42Mom goes from doing play-by-play to being part of the action.
31:01I doubt the neighbors would complain.
31:03You left the cans out an extra day or two.
31:11It's time for versus.
31:14Join us as dudes and dudettes getting spooked out of their minds
31:17take on unusual resting places for canine behinds.
31:22Tonight on versus.
31:25Warehouse scares versus dogs sitting on heads.
31:28The workers start off by making the warehouse a scare house.
31:36The dogs strike back with a great Dane on the brain.
31:40Insane.
31:42And nothing ruins your shift like a guy in a box on a forklift.
31:49A dog on a dog's head sitting on a chair?
31:52That's so much sitting, it's almost unfair.
31:57Don't get sleepy or you'll see something creepy.
32:02What's this?
32:04We expected a dog on a head, but got a squirrel on a dog's head instead.
32:08What will the judges think?
32:10Hey, you in aisle four, careful you don't drop that stuff on the floor.
32:16The dogs on heads have one last chance to sit the record straight.
32:21Is it enough?
32:23And the winner is...
32:27Warehouse scares.
32:30Join us next time when the working stiffs getting scared stiff take on...
32:35Kids who think parenting is bananas on versus.
32:44We've reached a point where there's not much show left.
32:47It's like when you're eating potato chips and there's only a few chips left,
32:51even though you could still eat two more entire bags.
32:55So savor these last few videos like they're your last few chips, all right?
32:59But then brush your teeth,
33:01because potato chips tend to get all stuck in between them bad boys, all right?
33:07I'm going to draw a little circle.
33:10Mm-hmm.
33:11I'm going to draw you first.
33:13Or make me skinny.
33:14I can't.
33:16Why?
33:17You aren't skinny.
33:21Probably.
33:23Probably you're skinny.
33:24I don't know.
33:25I don't know if you're old.
33:30This guy mows his lawn every full moon.
33:40Don't, hey, he said don't do it.
33:44This woman gets daily reminders that dogs are descended from wolves.
33:49Bow.
33:52Bow.
33:53Bow.
33:54Bow.
33:54Bow.
33:58Bow.
34:01Bow.
34:02Bow.
34:02Bow.
34:03Bow.
34:03Bow.
34:04Bow.
34:08Sometimes mansplaining isn't so bad.
34:11Is that giving you a hard time?
34:13Why don't you try the handle on the outside?
34:16Bow.
34:24Can I have a 20?
34:26Here.
34:27Just, just, just, just, one little 20.
34:31Ow.
34:32I don't blame that cat.
34:33That's one bill.
34:34He's got nine lives.
34:35He's got to make that money last.
34:37I got it.
34:50This guy must be competing on Extreme Foam Makeover.
34:57This guy must be competing on Extreme Foam Makeover.
35:07And shot him on his forehead to make Killer laugh.
35:13And now he has a forehead icky.
35:21Next week is our holiday episode.
35:23And the only tradition we look forward to as much as that one is the tradition of asking you for
35:29holiday videos.
35:30That's right.
35:30The holidays aren't just around the corner.
35:32They're also tonight's assignment in America.
35:34We want to see your gift giving gone wrong and your kids messing up a Christmas song.
35:38Jess, tell them what they need to know to help us build an amazing festive show.
35:43The holidays come once a year, but our love of holiday clips lasts all year long.
35:47So send us your Christmas trees that couldn't fall faster and your Hanukkah celebrations that end in disaster.
35:52Your holiday hilarity could win you 20 or even 100 grand.
35:55Just upload the video to AFV.com.
35:57For full contest rules, log on to AFV.com.
35:59Whether you're a human or an elf, don't keep your holiday clips to yourself.
36:09Well, the show's almost over, so finish your dinner.
36:12Because we're handing out money and declaring a winner.
36:15Let's meet our finalists.
36:17First up, artistic integrity never goes out of fashion, especially for this kid who draws with a passion.
36:23It's coloring with commitment sent in by Raymond Tullofson from Grand Prairie, Alberta, Canada.
36:36I'm done.
36:37Maybe you should try breathing when you color.
36:40Joining us are Raymond, Kayann, Torsten, and Thea.
36:45Now, Torsten, do you still draw with such intense concentration?
36:51Yeah, I like to get stuff perfect, so I just find it really stressful.
36:58So really stressful.
36:59Okay, well, Raymond, you took this video about eight or nine years ago.
37:03What made you finally send it in?
37:06Yeah, you know what?
37:07We were just watching the show in a hotel room one night, and the kids were just laughing at everything.
37:13And I just remembered this old video I had, and I thought we should send this in because it was
37:17pretty funny.
37:17All right, right?
37:18You see, people?
37:19Go through your videos.
37:21You could be sitting on a winner.
37:23Please send it in.
37:24All right.
37:25Good luck, y'all.
37:27All right.
37:29Next up, cleanliness is good, if you know what I mean.
37:32But is it possible for doors to be a little too clean?
37:35It's once more into the glass door, sent in by the Schuster Arrington family from Red Oak, Texas.
37:46The new glass door is taking some getting used to.
37:58Joining us are Stephanie, Jimmy, Cliff, Batman, and Ginger.
38:02So, Stephanie, you guys are big dog lovers and have fostered and adopted many dogs through the years.
38:08Why do you think those four kept banging into the door that day?
38:13Well, it's like when you put the stickers on windows to keep birds from flying into them.
38:19We usually have muddy paw prints and scratches on the door.
38:24And when we replaced it, they weren't there anymore.
38:27So they didn't even realize that the door was closed.
38:31All right.
38:32Well, I got a lot of habit.
38:33Okay.
38:33Well, listen.
38:34It's important to note that no one was hurt, okay?
38:37But maybe their pride, right?
38:39Maybe a little bit.
38:40Okay.
38:41Oh, yeah.
38:41Yes.
38:42Yeah.
38:42Good luck, y'all.
38:43Good luck.
38:45And finally, kids are honest.
38:47That's what they say.
38:48But this kid was being a little too honest that day.
38:51It's Skinny Sketch Snafu sent in by Samantha Richman from Van Leer, Kentucky.
38:59I'm going to draw you first.
39:01Or make me skinny.
39:02I can't.
39:04Why?
39:05You aren't skinny.
39:09Probably.
39:11Probably you're skinny.
39:12I don't know.
39:13I don't know if you are.
39:16Joining us are Samantha, Hope, and Renly.
39:19Samantha, you asked your granddaughter to draw you skinny.
39:23Did her response surprise you?
39:26Yeah.
39:27I mean, look at this.
39:32Okay.
39:33Well, honesty isn't just the best policy.
39:36If you win, it's the most lucrative too, right?
39:40That's true.
39:42All right.
39:43Well, good luck, y'all.
39:45All right.
39:46All right.
39:46We're going to find out who takes home the cash in just a minute.
39:49But first, let's take a look at some of the clips that didn't make our top three in tonight's honorable
39:54mention.
40:32Okay, it's time to hand out tonight's prizes.
40:35$20,000 for first, $6,000 for second, and $4,000 for third.
40:39Here we go.
40:39Our third place $4,000 winner is Coloring With Commitment, sent in by Raymond Tullison from Grand Prairie, Alberta, Canada.
40:52And the winner of the $20,000 on tonight's Funniest Home Video is Skinny Sketch Snafu, sent in by Samantha
41:00Rickman from Van Lear, Kentucky.
41:02We have Renly, Samantha, and Hope.
41:05Hope, well, Renly, look at that.
41:08You just won a lot of money for your family just by being honest in a video.
41:13Now, if Grandma asks you to draw her again, what are you going to say?
41:20What would you say?
41:21What's she going to say?
41:22Anything?
41:23Well, Hope, I hear you were the one who urged your mom to send in the video.
41:28Did you think it was going to end up a winner?
41:33Um, no.
41:34We just sent it as like a joke, kind of.
41:37We was like, let's just send it in and see what happens.
41:38And then here we are.
41:40Pretty cool.
41:41Well, you just won $20,000 and have a shot at $100,000, right?
41:46That's more than most artists make in a lifetime.
41:51Yes, congratulations, y'all.
41:53Well, that's our show.
41:55If you want to see it again, try to fly to an earlier time zone really fast.
41:59Or stream it on Hulu.
42:01Yeah, that works, too.
42:03We'll see you next time.
42:04And don't forget, if you upload a video and it airs on the show, we'll send you an AFB t
42:08-shirt.
42:08So good night, everybody.
42:09And remember, send your video to me.
42:11You might win 20 Gs.
42:12Good night, y'all.
42:12Good night, everybody.
42:43Good night, everybody.
42:48Good night, everybody.
42:50Good night, everybody.
42:54Good night, everybody.
42:57Good night, everybody.
42:58Good night, everybody.
42:58Good night, everybody.
42:58Good night, everybody.
42:58Good night, everybody.
42:58Good night, everybody.
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